Colin (00:00:00): That's a funny name. Colin (00:00:01): Yes, I love it. Colin (00:00:16): Welcome to Sober Banter. Colin (00:00:18): I'm Colin. Rachel (00:00:19): And I am Rachel. Colin (00:00:20): And this is Sober Banter. Colin (00:00:22): All right. Rachel (00:00:23): All right. Rachel (00:00:23): Welcome to Sober Banter. Colin (00:00:25): I thought you had a lead in. Rachel (00:00:27): A podcast for alcoholics by alcoholics. Colin (00:00:30): Yes. Colin (00:00:31): And we do as much prep as we did drinking, which is fast and loose. Colin (00:00:36): I just kind of had my thing that I was about to just jump right into. Colin (00:00:40): So I don't know if you have anything you want to start or add. Rachel (00:00:43): Yeah. Rachel (00:00:43): So the first thing that I do want to add is off of my personal experience, Rachel (00:00:49): which this whole podcast is off of what it used to be, Rachel (00:00:52): what kind of happened and what life is now and how it's the ups and downs of Rachel (00:00:56): sobriety. Rachel (00:00:57): But the year I got sober in 2021, Rachel (00:01:00): one of the things that had happened before I ended up getting sober on November Rachel (00:01:04): 22nd. Colin (00:01:04): 22nd. Rachel (00:01:05): Nailed it. Rachel (00:01:06): I tried so hard to be sober that October. Colin (00:01:10): Are you talking sober October? Rachel (00:01:12): Yes. Rachel (00:01:13): Sober October. Rachel (00:01:14): It's trending. Rachel (00:01:16): And I just remember beating myself because I had made it, Rachel (00:01:20): I think it was halfway through the month. Rachel (00:01:21): And I'd went to a friend's restaurant. Rachel (00:01:23): I tried. Rachel (00:01:23): I held on till the very end of the night. Rachel (00:01:25): And usually I would drink during the shift of even helping out there at a restaurant. Rachel (00:01:29): That's just the restaurant style. Rachel (00:01:30): But I didn't make it. Rachel (00:01:32): And of Rachel (00:01:32): Of course, Rachel (00:01:33): that night ended horribly because when you have a break of trying to do Sober Rachel (00:01:37): October and you have that mishap, Rachel (00:01:40): it's already slipped. Rachel (00:01:41): So let's just go ahead and blow it up. Colin (00:01:43): Yeah. Colin (00:01:43): What's the point in keep going with the month if I already have one strike? Rachel (00:01:47): And it's weird that I don't know how the mentality works with that with alcohol. Rachel (00:01:51): It's not, oh, well, you know, I was trying for Sober October. Rachel (00:01:54): I had one. Rachel (00:01:55): I'll just have one. Rachel (00:01:56): It's no. Rachel (00:01:57): If I'm going to break it, I'm going to have 50. Rachel (00:01:59): You're going to shatter it. Rachel (00:02:00): I'm going to make it worth it, essentially. Rachel (00:02:02): I don't understand why that is. Rachel (00:02:04): But that's how it was. Rachel (00:02:05): Fuck it. Rachel (00:02:06): I already messed it up. Rachel (00:02:07): So let's just rip the bandaid full force. Rachel (00:02:09): And there's no reason to do that. Colin (00:02:11): No, Colin (00:02:11): and I don't want to start an argument, Colin (00:02:14): but I don't know if you even made it halfway through the month. Colin (00:02:17): I feel it was the first weekend in October, Colin (00:02:19): but I could be wrong because there was also dry January and other things that we Colin (00:02:23): tried. Rachel (00:02:24): Now, dry January never did. Rachel (00:02:25): The only one successfully we made it through the entire month was the whole 30. Rachel (00:02:30): And I can tell you that on morning of day 31, I think we had mimosas in the morning. Rachel (00:02:36): Out of the whole 30, Rachel (00:02:37): we're restricting all of your diet to all of these grains and whole foods and Rachel (00:02:41): greens. Rachel (00:02:41): And I mean, we actually we were feeling great. Colin (00:02:43): I really doing that. Colin (00:02:44): And I did feel great. Rachel (00:02:45): I remember the first thing we did was during the summer is I was so excited for a drink. Rachel (00:02:51): I didn't care about the food, didn't care about anything else. Rachel (00:02:54): I was just I want alcohol back in my life. Colin (00:02:56): We also, Colin (00:02:57): and I don't know if this pertains to anything, Colin (00:03:00): but we tried to do the Whole30 diet a second and a third time and we could never do Colin (00:03:06): it because we would end up failing in drinking and then just saying, Colin (00:03:11): ah, Colin (00:03:11): I don't want to eat healthy. Colin (00:03:12): I've already started drinking. Colin (00:03:14): So what's the point in continuing this Whole30 bit if I'm already drinking? Colin (00:03:18): And we just stopped the whole process. Colin (00:03:20): Yeah. Rachel (00:03:21): Why I thought about this a lot. Rachel (00:03:23): And it's nice that doing this podcast of the sober banter with my husband, Rachel (00:03:27): we talk about our sobriety, Rachel (00:03:28): we do these different check ins or share something that had happened during the Rachel (00:03:32): day. Rachel (00:03:33): I just know how much pressure I felt. Rachel (00:03:36): During Sober October, I remember what it felt not making it when I was talking to Colin. Rachel (00:03:41): I said, with sobriety, we do a daily check-in, right? Rachel (00:03:43): It's every single day. Rachel (00:03:44): We drink every single day. Rachel (00:03:47): And when we first got sober, you had time to go get a drink. Rachel (00:03:50): You have time to check in with your recovery. Rachel (00:03:52): And thinking about how people listen to podcasts... Rachel (00:03:55): Driving a car, Rachel (00:03:56): working out, Rachel (00:03:57): maybe during a kind of warming up to meditation routine, Rachel (00:04:00): whatever it is, Rachel (00:04:00): or maybe before you go to bed at night. Rachel (00:04:02): But for the month of Sober October, we are going to put out one show every day. Rachel (00:04:07): It will not be very long. Colin (00:04:08): Yeah, some of these might vary in length, but... It's going to be 10 to 15 minutes. Rachel (00:04:13): We don't want to overdo it, Rachel (00:04:14): but we do want to have a place where you feel you can go and listen to a Sober Rachel (00:04:20): October check-in. Colin (00:04:21): And I feel that's also a good thing for us because that's going to be our challenge Colin (00:04:25): is to do this with you by putting out a podcast every single day, Colin (00:04:30): checking in on everyone's progress. Rachel (00:04:32): And we already do that. Rachel (00:04:34): We already have a sober check-in. Rachel (00:04:35): So now it is putting a microphone in front of us. Rachel (00:04:37): The challenge would be if I do a camera, but this is how our daily lives go in October. Rachel (00:04:42): It's the talk of Halloween parties. Rachel (00:04:44): It's the getting our son Halloween costumes. Rachel (00:04:47): It's Colin (00:04:47): You also have Oktoberfest. Colin (00:04:49): And I just thought about that the very first time. Colin (00:04:51): This is third sober October since being sober for reals now. Colin (00:04:56): But yeah, I just realized, oh, Oktoberfest is a thing. Colin (00:04:59): And it's a big drinking month and holiday because I think it's a German thing, right? Colin (00:05:03): Oktoberfest? Colin (00:05:04): Isn't that where... And I think that's where the movie... Colin (00:05:08): Super Troopers. Colin (00:05:08): Yeah, those guys. Rachel (00:05:09): I've already seen it all around Facebook. Rachel (00:05:11): And I just want to say this is a place of support where for me, Rachel (00:05:16): I thought I was a complete failure that I couldn't stay sober and I was hopeless. Rachel (00:05:21): But looking in hindsight, Rachel (00:05:23): it was actually probably one of the parts of my sobriety that kind of got me a Rachel (00:05:27): little bit closer to realizing maybe I do have a problem with alcohol. Rachel (00:05:31): Yeah. Rachel (00:05:31): It wasn't the final one, Rachel (00:05:33): but it was one that it's planting that seed of maybe I'm doing Sober October just Rachel (00:05:38): to see what my relationship with alcohol is. Rachel (00:05:40): It doesn't have to be a pass or fail. Colin (00:05:42): And if you slip, what should you do? Rachel (00:05:44): I would take it as a time to just evaluate. Rachel (00:05:47): I wish I had someone or something to listen to. Rachel (00:05:50): Everything I see online, it seems so all in, all out. Colin (00:05:53): Yeah, but what I'm saying is don't quit if you slip. Rachel (00:05:56): That's still 29 or 30 days after. Colin (00:05:59): Put together. Rachel (00:05:59): Put together. Rachel (00:06:00): It's awesome if you can get it in a row. Rachel (00:06:02): That's the goal. Rachel (00:06:03): If you slip, that doesn't mean you have to burn down the restaurant. Rachel (00:06:07): You can, it's okay. Rachel (00:06:08): We can slip and we can put a bandaid on it and we can get back up and we can just Rachel (00:06:13): tell someone about it and acknowledge how you feel. Colin (00:06:15): Yeah, I agree. Rachel (00:06:16): So I said, Rachel (00:06:17): I look at the 90 days before I got sober and it was really just, Rachel (00:06:21): there were just seeds planted. Rachel (00:06:23): And Sober October was one of my seeds. Rachel (00:06:26): Yeah. Rachel (00:06:26): And it really just crushed me, which maybe I needed. Rachel (00:06:29): But again, you don't have to get in that headspace of all in or all out. Rachel (00:06:33): And I know that's what's all over social media. Rachel (00:06:36): So our Sober October is going to be a check-in. Rachel (00:06:39): So whether that is that you are in a row, you had a slip, whatever. Rachel (00:06:43): We're just going to say, hey, let's just check in for today. Rachel (00:06:46): It doesn't matter what happened yesterday. Rachel (00:06:47): It doesn't matter about tomorrow. Rachel (00:06:49): We're going to just do a daily check-in for Sober October. Colin (00:06:52): That's right. Rachel (00:06:53): Okay. Rachel (00:06:53): What else do you have to add? Colin (00:06:54): I was also thinking about this. Colin (00:06:56): Would you say, should you start on October 1st? Colin (00:07:00): Or would you say, if you can, start now? Colin (00:07:02): When should you start? Rachel (00:07:03): It's really up to the person. Rachel (00:07:05): It depends on where you're at. Rachel (00:07:07): I think some people have the mentality, it's a new month, new week, new start. Colin (00:07:12): No, and I think that's a great... Rachel (00:07:13): And you can and some others can be a start now, Rachel (00:07:16): but then you can also go you start now and then there's not a boundary. Rachel (00:07:20): And sometimes the boundary can be helpful. Rachel (00:07:23): I would say start if you're thinking about it. Rachel (00:07:25): Yeah, start now. Colin (00:07:26): Go for it. Rachel (00:07:26): 100%. Rachel (00:07:26): And if that's what your gut is saying, Rachel (00:07:29): but as a psychology major, Rachel (00:07:30): I know that there are mental ups and downs. Rachel (00:07:33): It's the same with starting the gym at the beginning of the year, Rachel (00:07:36): starting to save at the beginning of the month. Colin (00:07:37): That was the other thing I was going to bring up, too. Colin (00:07:40): And I couldn't find it. Colin (00:07:41): But I know there was some quote by Kobe Bryant. Colin (00:07:45): He said something and it was along the lines of don't start tomorrow, start today. Colin (00:07:50): And I know a lot of people, not just addicts, but a lot of people find themselves stuck in this. Colin (00:07:56): Well, it's Saturday. Colin (00:07:57): I'm going to start Monday. Rachel (00:07:58): And then Monday comes in. Colin (00:08:00): Then they don't do it. Colin (00:08:01): Then it becomes I'll start tomorrow. Colin (00:08:03): Everything is starting tomorrow. Rachel (00:08:04): pressure it's the build up that's what i used to do when i was trying to quit Rachel (00:08:09): drinking and it was starting tomorrow it made me so anxious and then the anxiety Rachel (00:08:14): made me want to drink then it's this whole again it's the wash cycle that you never Colin (00:08:19): get out of or because you're starting tomorrow you're going to go all out tonight Colin (00:08:23): and then what happens tomorrow you feel awful awful so what's the only way to get Colin (00:08:29): better when you feel awful Rachel (00:08:30): It's to restart the cycle, rewash. Rachel (00:08:32): It's when you forget the laundry's in there overnight and you're like, Rachel (00:08:35): oh, Rachel (00:08:35): well, Rachel (00:08:35): I just got to rewash it and restart the cycle. Colin (00:08:38): So that's why that quote or that saying, Colin (00:08:40): and I wish I could find it, Colin (00:08:41): but it's there are some things that I don't want to do, Colin (00:08:44): whether it's finish the doing the dishes at night because I do waking up and not Colin (00:08:49): having to worry about it or some cleaning or project where you just think, Colin (00:08:53): well, Colin (00:08:53): I'll just I'll just do it tomorrow. Colin (00:08:55): But if I just do it now, then it's already done and out of the way. Colin (00:08:58): And I feel that's a small stepping stone where you're going in the right direction. Rachel (00:09:02): If you want to share, if you are participating in Sober October, what you're feeling. Rachel (00:09:07): Are you nervous? Rachel (00:09:08): Are you excited? Rachel (00:09:09): Are you happy? Rachel (00:09:09): Are you doing it with someone? Rachel (00:09:11): Because another thing that can help in sobriety is accountability. Rachel (00:09:15): A buddy that you can text that you're doing Sober October with. Rachel (00:09:19): So when you are craving a drink or you are... Rachel (00:09:22): in the moment where everyone's talking about getting drinks after work and you're Rachel (00:09:25): doing Sober October. Rachel (00:09:27): Also, first, remember there are non-alcoholic drinks out there. Rachel (00:09:30): I know I forgot that when I was drinking because I couldn't fathom why wasting Rachel (00:09:34): getting a non-alcoholic drink when they have alcohol. Rachel (00:09:36): But the other thing is you don't Rachel (00:09:37): have to tell anyone you're not drinking. Rachel (00:09:39): You don't have to tell anyone you're doing Sober October. Rachel (00:09:41): It can help to have someone. Rachel (00:09:43): And if you don't have someone, throw some comments down. Rachel (00:09:46): I'll reply to you. Rachel (00:09:47): If you comment and say, Rachel (00:09:48): hey, Rachel (00:09:48): I'm doing the Sober October and I'm having a little bit of a hard day, Rachel (00:09:52): I will comment and I will reply on the podcast post, Rachel (00:09:55): whatever the Colin (00:09:56): If you've done Sober October before, let us know how you did it, your thoughts on it. Colin (00:10:01): You're doing it again. Rachel (00:10:02): Because people that are not alcoholic, Rachel (00:10:04): there are some people that just do Sober October as a reset. Colin (00:10:07): And dry January. Rachel (00:10:08): Yeah. Colin (00:10:09): I know a lot of people that just do it just because they reset for the... They don't dread it. Colin (00:10:14): They actually a little bit... They're not heavy drinkers either. Rachel (00:10:17): That's the normal drinker. Rachel (00:10:19): When you tell a normal drinker that they don't that there's it's a dry wedding. Rachel (00:10:23): They don't talk shit what we used to. Rachel (00:10:25): Well, what's the point of having a wedding if it's not an open bar? Rachel (00:10:28): You know, fuck that wedding. Rachel (00:10:29): I don't want to go to that wedding. Rachel (00:10:30): And it's not about the people getting married or anything or the wedding itself. Rachel (00:10:33): It was a non-alcoholic wedding. Rachel (00:10:35): Boring. Colin (00:10:36): yeah and i also remember there was one time randomly i took it upon myself to just Colin (00:10:41): not drink for the month of april do you remember that it was it was when we started Colin (00:10:45): both of us oh you did and i was also i think i gave you not i think not you did and Colin (00:10:50): i wasn't sober from everything i just wasn't drinking that month but i remember Colin (00:10:55): telling a co-worker yeah i think i'm not gonna drink this month and they're just Rachel (00:10:59): okay cool yeah some people don't care they don't think about how Colin (00:11:02): And I was, you don't know how big of it. Colin (00:11:04): And I was, no, that's kind of a big deal for me. Colin (00:11:07): Not that I have a problem, but it's a big deal if I go a month. Colin (00:11:10): You know, Colin (00:11:11): looking back, Colin (00:11:11): as I said that, Colin (00:11:12): I was trying to cover my tracks as the person was, Colin (00:11:15): okay, Colin (00:11:15): you're not drinking for a month. Colin (00:11:16): What's the big deal? Rachel (00:11:17): Yeah. Rachel (00:11:17): To some people, they don't. Rachel (00:11:19): Yeah. Rachel (00:11:19): There's all different kinds, all different kinds of drinkers in this world. Rachel (00:11:23): And some, there's binge drinkers. Rachel (00:11:25): There's functional alcoholic drinkers. Rachel (00:11:28): There are all day drinkers. Colin (00:11:30): Daily drinkers, yeah. Colin (00:11:31): Yeah. Rachel (00:11:31): Yeah, I don't need to go down that list. Rachel (00:11:32): But the point is, Rachel (00:11:33): this podcast is built on personal experience about things that Colin and I have Rachel (00:11:38): gone through. Rachel (00:11:39): Sober October is one that hits home for me. Rachel (00:11:41): So maybe during April, Rachel (00:11:43): Colin can do something that hits home for him because I don't think this sober Rachel (00:11:46): October hit him the same as it did me. Colin (00:11:49): No, my goal was just, and you've heard me say this before, was to outlast you. Colin (00:11:54): Because when you suggested, Colin (00:11:56): let's do Sober October, Colin (00:11:57): I didn't really want to, Colin (00:11:59): but I also knew we wouldn't be doing Sober October. Colin (00:12:02): All I had to do was outlast you. Colin (00:12:04): And then I'd be, oh, you're twisting my arm. Colin (00:12:06): You bought a bottle of Jameson. Colin (00:12:08): Okay, I guess I'll drink it. Rachel (00:12:09): Yeah. Rachel (00:12:09): And because I didn't last, Rachel (00:12:10): but we ended up getting sober a month and change later and it did stick. Rachel (00:12:15): So again, Rachel (00:12:16): my goal of the October daily content is to have a quick check-in, Rachel (00:12:21): a quick laugh, Rachel (00:12:23): maybe some shout outs if people want to share their experience. Rachel (00:12:26): So that way we can have other outputs other than just ours. Rachel (00:12:29): Because as time goes on, while I can literally remember so vividly the first shot I took Rachel (00:12:36): when I was in Sober October. Rachel (00:12:38): I can't explain the fight in my head versus how easy, how hard, how defeated, how excited. Rachel (00:12:44): There was all these emotions and I can literally picture it right now. Rachel (00:12:48): And it was the biggest war in my head of just wanting to drink, but wanting to not drink. Rachel (00:12:54): And I wish there wasn't, that's the only thing I don't about Sober October, the pressure. Rachel (00:12:57): I hate the pressure, especially with social media. Rachel (00:13:00): Because then you post on social media, Rachel (00:13:03): you have a slip and now you feel you don't have a safe place. Colin (00:13:05): Yeah, I wouldn't know because I didn't. Colin (00:13:07): I mean, it was just one of those things where it's okay. Colin (00:13:09): Yeah, I'll be sober October. Colin (00:13:10): I wasn't posting. Rachel (00:13:12): I think with people saying they're alcoholic or sober in AA, Rachel (00:13:15): a lot of people will say they don't want to post on social media because what if Rachel (00:13:19): they end up drinking again? Rachel (00:13:20): And then, you know, someone brings it back up. Rachel (00:13:22): It's not their business. Rachel (00:13:24): It's okay to not want to drink for a little bit. Rachel (00:13:26): And it's okay. Rachel (00:13:27): Everyone has their own way of finding what they want to do. Colin (00:13:31): Journey. Colin (00:13:32): Is that what you're wanting to say? Rachel (00:13:33): Don't go back for seconds. Rachel (00:13:52): Don't go. Rachel (00:13:52): Yeah, we could. Rachel (00:13:53): Oh, no. Colin (00:13:54): I'm going to drink out of a bigger glass instead of a bunch of shot glasses. Rachel (00:13:58): No hard liquor, no wine, whatever. Rachel (00:14:01): And none of I just I can remember none of them worked there. Rachel (00:14:05): I've checked every single one off the list. Rachel (00:14:07): So let's make Sober October something fun. Rachel (00:14:10): And it can just be a we're going to sober October banter. Colin (00:14:14): Let's banter. Rachel (00:14:15): Let's banter for Sober October. Rachel (00:14:17): And we'll make it a positive, a fun reinforces that I made the right decision to get sober. Colin (00:14:22): Yes, I would agree. Rachel (00:14:24): Because a sick mind can't heal a sick mind. Rachel (00:14:28): So I was in a alcoholism mindset. Rachel (00:14:31): I can rationalize out of it. Rachel (00:14:33): But when you have a sober, Rachel (00:14:35): clear headed mind, Rachel (00:14:36): and you go see what that alcoholic mind was trying to convince you or rationalize Rachel (00:14:41): was okay, Rachel (00:14:41): you look back and laugh because you remember what your drunken mind was trying to Rachel (00:14:45): tell you was okay how this is normal. Rachel (00:14:47): This is what everyone does. Rachel (00:14:49): I'm just it was a hard day. Rachel (00:14:50): It was a long weekend. Rachel (00:14:51): Like, Colin (00:14:51): Whoa, it was a great day. Rachel (00:14:52): It was a great day, yeah. Rachel (00:14:53): And you come back with this clear mind after you've had some time away from Rachel (00:14:57): alcohol, Rachel (00:14:58): and you look back and you're like, Rachel (00:14:59): my God. Rachel (00:15:01): The rationalizations I threw on myself at that time, Rachel (00:15:04): and you see it now, Rachel (00:15:05): and it's just, Rachel (00:15:06): Colin and I find it funny. Colin (00:15:07): It's also the terminology that's used in every, it's 5 o'clock somewhere. Rachel (00:15:12): 5 a.m. Rachel (00:15:12): somewhere, 5 p.m. Rachel (00:15:13): somewhere. Colin (00:15:14): Yeah. Colin (00:15:15): You can always find a reason to drink, Colin (00:15:17): and I think that's just this, Colin (00:15:19): whether it's through advertising maybe, Colin (00:15:21): It's just these sayings people have used forever and ever that just stick because Colin (00:15:26): they're fun to say when it's happy hour somewhere, Colin (00:15:29): those type of things. Colin (00:15:30): And as a culture, we've just gotten just been engraved in us. Colin (00:15:34): I feel like it's almost similar to cigarettes. Colin (00:15:36): Back in the 40s, Colin (00:15:38): 50s, Colin (00:15:38): and 60s, Colin (00:15:39): it was just commonplace and everywhere until you fast forward through all the Colin (00:15:44): cancer and lawsuits. Colin (00:15:46): You can only find advertisements for cigarettes in one thing, Colin (00:15:50): and those are printed advertisements, Colin (00:15:52): and you can't even show them smoking. Colin (00:15:54): I don't know if we'll never get to that extreme with alcohol, Colin (00:15:57): but I feel it's starting to get close because even in commercials, Colin (00:16:00): you can't show people actually drinking. Colin (00:16:02): They just have them in their hands and things like that. Rachel (00:16:05): I did not know that. Rachel (00:16:06): But all right, we're going to go ahead and wrap this up. Rachel (00:16:08): Stay tuned. Rachel (00:16:09): We will have more updates to come during the week. Rachel (00:16:12): But until then, let us know what you think. Colin (00:16:14): And we're here for you. Rachel (00:16:15): We're here for you. Rachel (00:16:17): This is going to be the edition of Sober October Banter, hosted by Colin and Rachel. Colin (00:16:24): That's us. Rachel (00:16:24): That's us. Rachel (00:16:25): Okay. Rachel (00:16:26): Thank you for listening. Rachel (00:16:27): And we will... This is the Lord of the Rings ending. Colin (00:16:30): We could have wrapped it up a lot. Colin (00:16:32): Come on. Colin (00:16:33): Just say bye. Colin (00:16:33): Okay.