[MUSIC]
Do you think you'd be
interested in doing a podcast with me?
I mean, it's laughable.
No.
Like and subscribe.
But you're lame.
I'm not gonna do the time of day.
Oh, you think this is how you just waited
for 30 year old Megan?
Could not have done that.
It's meant to have happened.
I think football is made for snacking.
You've got to sleep for napping.
Yes.
The whole point of the sports.
You bet.
You're a 40-degree.
You're like 50-50 yoga and more.
50-50 yoga.
I am a female.
That's crazy.
Insane.
We all know who that person is.
We all have one of those.
The stupid of juggernaut has been the
term I've been talking about.
Your job will be posted
before you're obituary.
Money has nothing to do with happiness.
No.
I'll get to that one later.
Yeah.
Whether that's healthy or not, Tonya.
We basically work
anytime we are not at soccer.
[LAUGHTER]
Four track.
Episode 43, In the Books.
In the Books.
So here we go.
Chow, chow.
Nailed it.
Welcome to the Mr. and
Mrs. English Podcast.
I'm Megan.
And I'm Sean.
We're here to talk about the wild ride of
raising kids and growing careers, keeping
life together in the
middle of all the chaos.
So buckle up because we're all in this
crazy journey together.
La, la, land, bippity, boppity.
Boo.
Here we go.
I know.
Episode 43, hun.
Last year this time, did you ever think
you'd be doing an episode?
I mean, we had not considered doing a
podcast and now we're on episode 43.
43.
No, no.
I mean, I don't know
that I thought about that.
Although I'm trying to think like when
was it last year that
we started to think about
it?
It had to have been around this time.
Yeah.
I mean, it wasn't until after Christmas
that it really kind of
took shape, I think, because
I was working on morning cereal just
thinking because I've had
those people that don't know
I've had a bit of a career change.
I've kind of retired from baking and I've
been chasing dreams
that I've always wanted
to do something I'm passionate about.
And I'm loving it.
I haven't looked back one second.
It's been exciting.
But kind of in the midst of finding that
pathway and what I want to do, I've had a
little bit of that just I've got, what do
you want to call it?
A side to me that likes to create.
Yeah, I've got a creative side to me.
That's the easy way to say it.
For sure.
Yeah.
Whether it's making logos and artistic.
We talked about it a
little bit last week.
I had this whole thing of like somewhere
inside of me, I was like,
"Oh, I can be an actor."
I do not want to be an actor.
I do not want to be a, my intent is not
to be a podcast, we're a YouTuber.
But I thought this was something that
might be able to get out
some of my creative juices.
And put some good juju out there.
That's what morning
cereal is about to some degree.
Totally.
And we get a few thousand
people a week to tune into that.
I feel like I'm just
putting good jujus out there.
It's just a good message.
It's fun.
It's lighthearted for the most part.
And so that kind of came up, right?
When I was like,
"Well, what do I want to do?
Here's the things I like.
Here's some of the
things I think I would enjoy."
Right?
And it kind of came up slightly, but
surely because I was, I
was actually scared to be
like, "Hey, do you think you'd be
interested in doing a podcast with me?"
Because I honestly thought the answer
would be to immediately be, "No."
Not at all.
It's funny.
You were like approaching this.
Like, "How do I ask a girl on a date?"
Kind of a thing.
Like, "I'm going to put out some feelers.
Maybe she'll say yes.
Maybe she'll bite."
And then you were
surprised when I said yes.
Yeah.
I mean, you were
totally go for it though.
I mean, it was, there
was no talking you into it.
No.
It was almost as though
you were like, I was waiting.
I was wondering when you're going to ask.
I'm pretty good when
it comes to El Spico.
Speaking.
Speaking. Speaking. Speaking. Was that Spanglish you were speaking?
I'm not sure what it was.
We're not sure, but that's okay.
Yeah, no, I didn't think like, "Well,
when were you going to ask me?"
I was maybe surprised that
you wanted to do it with me.
And then it was like,
"Well, yeah, I'd love to.
This would be fun."
Yeah.
A lot of our friends and family were
like, "Oh, that would be great."
Because I think people think
automatically when you're
like, we don't even tell people
we have a podcast.
People find it out.
I know.
Just slowly but surely
through the grapevine, right?
It's not like we've gone out and be like,
"Hey, everybody, we've got a podcast.
Please smash that like button."
Yeah.
You know, we've never advertised it.
Right.
Like and subscribe.
Right, exactly.
That is definitely us.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
100%.
You know, but when people find out, it's
like, you know, I
think people were surprised
by it first off.
I think so too.
Secondly, you know, when they find out
we've got one in early on,
everybody was like, "Oh."
Well, because my point was people think,
"Well, you get a podcast
because you want it to take
off and you want to make, you know, a
million dollars a year.
That's what you want to do for a living."
Great.
If that happened, great.
That was not the intention.
No.
And probably not the reality.
Mm-hmm.
But that's the way everybody thought
about it at the beginning.
It's like, "Oh, that's why
you're doing a blah, blah, blah."
I was like, "Oh, Megan and I
are doing one, Mr. and Mrs."
And they're like, "Oh, that
one's going to be incredible.
That's the one that's going to take off."
You know?
And I was like, "Do
you know if it's taken?"
You were like, "Thanks."
The one I carry by myself is...
Like, is just brushed aside.
Yeah.
"Bustura."
Spanish for trash.
Man, you were Spanish.
It's just really kind of...
Yeah.
El Spico.
So, anyways, I just thought that was
funny because, you know,
it's that kind of thing.
That kind of thing that other
people knew we were doing it.
I was surprised you wanted to do it.
I think your family doesn't talk to us
about it, so I think they
just don't even know what
to do with it.
I don't know what...
Or they don't listen.
Well, you know, I thought about that.
I wouldn't...
Let's just say one of your siblings or
one of my siblings had a podcast.
Honestly, I am so busy that I probably
wouldn't take the time to listen to it.
Not because I was like, "Oh, you're lame.
I'm not going to give
you the time of day."
I actually thought about this.
Right.
I take zero offense that
people close to us don't.
I don't either.
People, friends, sidelined people don't
listen because, A, it's 45 minutes long.
True.
When do you...
I mean, I don't have 45 minutes, do you?
No.
Right.
We do this somewhat so we
can spend time together.
Exactly.
You know?
Exactly.
Even our own siblings, though, I don't
know that I would have
time to listen to their
45-minute podcast week in and week out.
I agree.
Right?
I don't know when we
would have time to do that.
Right.
The people that do it
are like, "Hey, great.
Thanks."
That's been a little bit of the hard
part, is just trying to keep things...
We could talk for hours.
Of course.
But we also want to talk about things
that would be somewhat
interesting for the people
that do listen to it.
Yeah.
We try to bring up topics.
We like to reminisce.
People, I think, think
some of the nostalgia part.
I think part of it is just trying to be
relatable because this is
a busy time of life that
everybody has to go through.
That's right.
If I'm being honest, I actually told the
two older kids this one
day, I was like, "I wasn't
prepared for just how
taxing and chaotic it would be."
I couldn't envision that.
What would be?
This phase of life and having pre-teens
and teenagers while
working a job, et cetera,
I...
Naively...
Probably because I just
didn't know any better.
I always heard parents of teenagers, they
would tell us when our
kids were babies, "Oh,
you think this is hard?
You just wait.
You just wait."
Yeah.
Now I'm like, "Oh, wow.
They told me just wait because they
couldn't actually put into words."
Yeah.
I mean, it's just how chaotic, how
taxing, but how wonderful it is.
That's the beauty of
this whole thing though.
This is a time that
everybody goes through.
Yes.
Right?
This is a stepping stone that everybody
that has chosen to have
children and is living
in a certain way, but in one way or
another, they step on this beach.
I can't think of a
better metaphor, right?
But they spend some time here.
They do.
Right?
And then they make their way through it.
Some of the older listeners, they've been
there, they've done it, and they're like,
"Yeah, I know.
Just wait.
Just wait till this, to wait till this."
Right?
Yeah.
Because it is true.
People look back and say, "Wait till you
see this," just like you said.
Right?
Like, "You thought that was
a hard way to get to this."
Yeah.
And very, I think,
apropos, we've named...
We've kind of named our
podcast after the chaos train.
Right.
This series, this beach of our life, this
part of our life, is just chaotic.
And we don't say it to be,
"We're more chaotic than you.
We're more chaotic than that person."
I think everybody that's in the same
stage of life, on the
same beach, is running crazy,
just like we are.
And I know a lot of people that are.
Oh, yeah.
I know people who are more so.
I know people who are less so, but it's
like, you have reached out.
It's like, this is just what
it is at this phase of life.
And that's one of the reasons why we
wanted to do this, because
it's like, we talk through
it and like, how do we get through all
the logistics of a day?
And how do we juggle spending time
equally with the kids?
How do we continue to invest time in our
marriage, but yet still
hold down jobs, launch new
careers, build a
house, for crying out loud?
It's building back that onion a little
bit, right, of all those
things that people take
on.
And I think I was just saying to you,
just right before we
came in here, I was like,
"Who would have thought when we were 25
years old, we'd be
doing what we're doing right
now?"
Right.
Or when we're 33 years old, doing what
we're doing right now.
Maybe even 39 years old.
I mean, that was still half
a decade or more ago for us.
Yeah.
And I don't mean from a career
standpoint, I don't mean
from an economic standpoint,
I just mean from a sheer, everything we
get done to keep going
in a day, just to keep
moving forward in life.
We've, there's no way that 30 year old
Sean or 40 year old
Sean, I think would have been
able to do what we're doing today.
No.
Right?
Do you feel that way?
Because you've had to lay it in.
Yeah, no.
And when I say no, I had
full confidence you could do it.
I could.
30 year old Megan.
Sean, you were really struggling.
You've always been my
rock and you know it.
I look at that like 30 year old Megan
could not have done that.
I just, I think about what I
thought a busy weekend was.
Yeah.
And you're like, it's laughable.
We used to take naps.
If you used to take naps, I never took
naps till I met you.
Before we had children
and then we took naps.
We took naps.
On weekends.
I was like, gosh, kind of sleepy.
I think I might fall asleep
during this football game.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Golf is the best sport to sleep through.
I mean, they whisper even on the.
Yeah.
It's meant for that.
Football is made for snacking.
Golf is made for napping.
Yes.
Yeah.
Whole point of the sports.
Exactly.
You know, but you start thinking about
all those things that
we do now, which is just
crazy because once you get to this age
and everybody else is
here too, but it's like,
it's not just so family and
career kind of head that out.
Right.
So career, we're both worker.
We both work.
Yeah.
You know, we're both
corporate for a long time.
You're still corporate.
I'm now self-employed.
There's still a lot of pressure on that.
Yeah.
On both of us for many reasons, right?
We're so great.
We just have to bring in a
certain level of cash flow.
We know what our bills are, all that kind
of stuff, but you're
wanting to grow a career,
right?
So you're making a name for yourself.
You're checking the boxes in the
corporate world, which
we've talked about many times
before.
People on the sideline
don't know that side of Megan.
No.
And they didn't, they don't know that
side of Shawn either.
You know, they don't.
People in your personal life don't know
who you are in your professional life.
And, or, and I think it's
kind of nice to keep it that way.
Otherwise sometimes you're like, well,
you're a hoity twitty jerk.
Yeah.
But I know it's on a scale there though,
but like what
percentage of your time do you
think you're using on a weekly basis, a
hundred percent of your
time on a weekly basis goes
to a career towards career.
What effort is towards career?
Oh my gosh.
Knowing, knowing that you, you were,
you're working like 14,
15 hour days right now.
It's just, I've never seen you in a
busier season at work.
Yeah.
It's busy right now.
Yeah.
It is really busy and it comes at the
cost of sleep because I'm
not willing to sacrifice
family.
So it usually comes at the cost of sleep.
Yeah.
Um, so it's like, I'll say goodnight to
you and head to the office.
You know, I almost always work through a
soccer practice anymore.
It's just a foregone conclusion.
Um, you know, but I don't even know.
I don't know as a percent
of hours, what that equals.
It's a huge part of time.
Greater than 50.
Yeah, absolutely.
Probably 85.
Hey, you spent a lot
of waking hours working.
My point here is this
is just how busy life is.
So I mean, like
literally it's 85% of your time.
Let's just even round down to 80% of your
time is on your career.
Yeah.
Which is incredibly
important to both of us.
Right.
I've probably spent about the same time.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You do.
If not more sometimes.
The best of it's on yoga.
I'm about 50, 50 yoga and work.
50, 50 yoga and work.
Uh, no, I'm kidding.
Obviously.
Although yoga would be nice to
fit in at some point in time.
Yoga would be really
nice to fit in sometime.
Yeah.
So, but, but career is always secondary
to, I mean, our family.
But yet we were spending just inordinate
amounts of unbalanced time doing that.
Now I know that pays the
bills and all that kind of stuff.
And that's what, yeah.
40 hour work weeks or 80 hour work weeks.
Yeah.
That's how we put food on the table and
buy new soccer shoes for
these kids that are $300
each now people.
That's crazy.
Insane.
Side bit here.
My shoes, when I played basketball in
high school, were like
110 bucks, which was a ton
of money.
I got flights.
I couldn't afford Air Jordans or Jordans
like 135 back then or
something like that, which
I don't know that they've changed much.
I'm not in the market for Air Jordans
anymore, but they're
probably closer to $200 now I
would guess.
Yeah.
Right.
Which is an expensive shoe.
It's an expensive shoe.
Right.
Now I've had some expensive work shoes.
Sure.
You know that when you walk down a hall,
everybody knows you're
there because you're, because
you click, click, click, click.
Yeah.
I don't know that I've ever owned a pair
of $300 shoes and we
buy our kids $300 shoes
every six months.
I am a female who actually
worked in fashion basically.
I still have never had
a $300 pair of shoes.
Yeah.
200.
Yeah.
Well, I don't think
Target's carrying manila blanks.
No, no, but I did.
Did I say that right?
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
Manila Blonix.
Oh, Balonix.
I got the blanks.
That's great.
I pulled that out.
You're good.
And you owned it.
Sorry.
I had to pat myself on
the back and I exposed it.
I thought it was really good.
Anyways, that was a side note too, to the
fact that, what was the side note to?
I interrupted our main train of thought.
Oh, just how you put food on the table
and you pay for all this stuff, right?
Oh, yeah, made paper
shoes and stuff like that.
So, I just think of all the things that
we layer on that
everybody that's watching this
at some point is going to do or is in the
middle of, is already done, career.
It's just huge.
We are in the highest
earning years of our lives.
Yup.
Right?
Mid 40s to mid 50s.
Yeah.
To late 50s maybe.
And I walked away from a very good career
to do another career.
Yeah.
So, that's been a scary road for us this
last year, but I think
we're going to be good.
Right.
So, career.
That's huge for us.
The ebbs and flows of that are stressful.
It is.
Like, the pressure of a day is, I mean, I
do try to balance and
walk away and not let
the pressure of a day of, "Oh, this was a
mistake," or even
just the expectations of,
"Hey, so and so needs this and they need
it now," and those types of things.
And being able to just shut that down
immediately because there is pressure.
Shut it down so that your kids don't see
it, so that you don't see it.
Yeah.
And you're really good at doing that.
I'm not really as good at doing that.
I carry things with me too long.
You can be like, "I'll put this little
one in a compartment
right up here for it and
I'll get to that later."
I'll get to that one later.
Yeah.
Whether that's a healthy or not, that's
another question I think.
I think you're probably right.
I think the thing that helps with that
though sometimes is I
had a buddy I used to work
with, Mark, in Unihome Talk.
Yeah.
He'll know if he sees this or whatnot,
but he used to always
say, "Hey, look, if I get
to buy a bus tomorrow,
the bank's going to open.
My clients are going to
still conduct business.
Things will go on."
And so when things really get pushed,
comes to shove
sometimes, it's like, "You know
what?
If you need to walk away for an hour,
walk away because the
company's going to be okay."
Yeah.
I saw one time they were like, "Your job
will be posted before you're obituary."
And you're like, "Oh."
That is true.
That is very true.
Yeah.
And it was helpful when I
worked for Target Corporation.
We had a saying, and it was just like,
"We just sell Tide."
That's all we do.
I don't have someone's heart in my hands.
Their life is depending
on me to keep them alive.
Life's good.
It'll be fine.
We just sell Tide.
It's going to be okay in the end.
Yeah.
And that was similar.
That's how all jobs, but everybody gets
very serious when it
comes to their job because
people find value in that, and that's
part of the career thing, right?
You want to economically, you want to
provide for your family.
Yes.
And you feel that you're adding a value
that you can be proud of.
Right.
Those are huge things.
A lot of people don't ... We've been
lucky enough to kind of
hit those, check those boxes
in our careers and have an economic
incentive that's been nice.
But that aside, or along with that, like
everybody else is doing,
we're at those ages too where
we have to plan for retirement.
Yeah.
Right?
And I remember, I touched on this just
barely before, but I
remember being in 30s.
And I was in my young 30s, I think, when
I started one of my first
companies and we liquidated
some of our savings, our 401ks and
everything to start that,
to fund that business, which
was great.
It was a good business, but it drained
our coffers a little bit, right?
And so then we got back to the corporate
world after selling that
company and it was like,
"I really need to think
about how we're saving."
And then at that point in time, I was
doing all these numbers and crunching.
Yeah.
And I remember saying,
"I think we're behind."
Yeah.
And we make too much money to be behind.
And this was 15, 20 years ago almost now.
Oh, at least.
Yeah.
At least, yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes I lose track of time.
I'm only 27, I think.
But at this point in time, this is when
you're crunching those
numbers constantly of trying
to figure out, "Okay, I
got to save enough money.
How long do I want to work for?
What kind of lipo I
want to have when I retire?
Can I retire?
Yeah.
How much can I pay for my children?
Can I pay for my
children and go to college?
I got to save for a wedding."
Again, I don't know how everybody does it
because we live
modestly to some degree for
what we make.
And maybe it's because we
didn't grow up with money.
I think it's because of money.
Again, we're not Bill Gates here.
You know what I mean?
We're very average Joe.
But you have to weigh those things with,
"Okay, what are the next steps though?"
And at some point, you got to really
weigh that out of, "Okay, I need to save.
I need to put this behind.
I need to put one case.
Oh, I need other assets.
Oh, equities."
Yeah.
And you're like, "All
these different things."
So these are all these things now.
Now you've got a portfolio.
And when you're 33, you always hear about
people that are in
their 50s and are like,
"Oh, I've got a portfolio."
"Oh, I'm so cool.
I have a portfolio."
But you do.
And you also, now we have a
will and we have a living test.
You know what I mean?
All these things.
So these are the things
that we're layering in.
I want to pause just to
see what am I missing.
Obviously, the
children's a whole other thing.
The family one, which is the second most
important that we were talking about.
I mean, think about all the
things that we do with that.
Just constantly learning.
That's real time.
Oh, that is real time
on the job training.
Training all the time.
All the time.
Yeah.
Like, I realize there's a lot of
parenting books, but
you're like, "Gosh, how would I
have known that I needed to read that my
eighth grader was going to
lose a teammate suddenly?"
How do I help him through that loss?
Like a passing.
Right.
Yeah.
Death.
Yeah.
Exactly.
If they don't tell you then, sure,
there's a book out there.
You just didn't know you
needed to read that book.
And it's hard to find
time to read those books.
I actually have bought a
couple books to be a better dad.
You have a couple
sitting on your nightstand.
Yeah, just right on the nightstand.
And I've made it through half of some and
I've read other ones and whatnot.
But yeah, but it's hard
to find time to do that.
We all want to be better.
Yeah.
But it's really, really hard.
And that's part of that,
everything you're juggling.
Exactly.
Because it's like you don't want to lose
touch of who you
thought Megan was going to be.
Who did 25-year-old Megan
think she was going to be?
Who did 35-year-old Megan
think she's going to be?
And are you on that path?
If I am completely honest with you, yes.
I bet you are.
You're like, "I don't doubt that at all."
I have everything I
could have ever wanted.
Yeah.
And you're the person you wanted to be.
I'm not talking about material things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm actually talking about all the
immaterial things, right?
Yeah, right.
I'm not saying that I don't have stress
and things that I'm
like, "Well, that sucks."
You know, like in my life.
That's not the case.
But on the whole, am I happy?
Am I satisfied?
Am I who I thought I would be?
Yeah, I am.
Like if I really dig down, I'm honest.
I'm like, "Yeah, I am."
And that's kind of cool.
Are you?
I'll come back to that.
I'll answer that for you.
But I mean, when you're like 25 and
you're going through these
corporate training sessions
or at school or 35, they always give you,
"What's your two-year plan?
What's your five-year plan?
What's your 10-year plan?"
You know what I mean?
So clearly, you're kind of checking the
boxes on some of those plans.
But today, you should
have a three-year plan.
You should have a
five-year plan, a 10-year plan.
You're kind of just...
Do you have that still?
Or is life moving so fast that you're
just trying to keep up with it?
You do have it.
I do.
And I think...
I tell people this at work.
I'm like, "I have taken
intentional steps aside.
I've taken steps back in my career to...
I mean, when I started with my current
company 15 years ago,
we had just had a baby.
I was on maternity leave."
I'm like, "I can't be in management."
I had been.
I was like, "I don't have time.
I want to raise my family."
You were traveling all
the time, worked downtown.
I was like, "I need to be closer to home,
closer to the baby."
I took a step back.
I'm like, because it
didn't matter at that point.
That was the right
step to make at that time.
And I think there's
going to still be pauses
and step on the gas
pieces of my career left
for whatever time I have left to work.
Now, do I have the exact timing?
I actually joked the
other day with someone.
I was like, "I cannot take a promotion
until I have a driver in the house."
Until we are no longer outnumbered.
A third driver, yeah.
Yeah, a third driver in the house.
Because it is what it is.
I'm like, "We have to step aside.
We have to step out of
our jobs to go pick up kids
and get them to practice."
I mean...
Yeah.
I don't know how people do that.
I mean, we talk about this
kind of stuff all the time,
but it's astonishing to me the way that
school is set up here in Texas at least.
I mean, they clearly plan on at least one
parent not having a job.
Definitely.
With everything that they schedule.
And the times that they schedule?
It's incredible.
Even sports are early.
In practice, it's after school, but 6
o'clock or 6.15 an hour away.
And again, if I left the office at 5 and
I got home at 5.45, best case,
pick up the kid, leave, best case
scenario over there at 6.50 maybe,
and practice started at 35 minutes ago.
Right.
I don't even know how that computes.
There was a time when all
jobs like that as you get older,
you just had that more flexibility,
I would struggle to believe that your dad
or mine had flexibility
like that at their job.
Guys, I'm going to be taking off at 3.15
every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday
because it's my time to pick up the kids.
You know what I mean?
No way.
Right.
And I mean, even when I was early in the
corporate world, that wasn't a thing.
Yeah.
I don't know of my colleagues.
Again, I was younger, so I probably had a
younger group around me.
But I did know some parents, it's not
like they were headed out at, you know,
3.45 or 4 o'clock in the afternoon to go
do things with their kids.
That's only been in the last five to
seven years, I feel like.
I don't know if it's COVID, but COVID I
think exaggerated it.
It did.
Right.
For everybody now, we'll do those lines.
We'll do those lines a little bit more.
But I mean, that was especially in
banking and finance.
I was never, I mean, like, you know, it
was always the last
man standing was the best
guy, you know?
I know.
Yeah.
And now I think, I don't know, I think
the balance, the
differences now, like, we talk
about how much time we spend working.
We could also probably spend a little bit
of time and double-click into like,
how much time did I spend in my workday
texting about carpooling,
scheduling appointments,
adjusting our calendar, responding to
parent or teacher emails,
like, looking at the kids'
grades, making sure, you know, putting
money to their lunch account.
I mean, I do that during the
day, that during my workday.
Yeah.
So do I feel then like I'm being cheated
if I have to spend an
extra hour at night working
to make up that time that I wasn't, you
know, like, no, not at
all, because I was like,
I really was probably doing all of those
things for an hour today.
And that's what's blurred big time too.
And I don't know if other people are like
this, I'm guessing
quite a few probably are,
especially on our soccer teams, because I
mean, it is like,
those lines are so blurred,
but it just has become natural for us and
our household at least, that we basically
work anytime we are not at soccer.
Or track.
Or basketball now.
And basketball now, yeah.
Our daughter made the basketball team.
Yay, way to go.
Yeah, it was awesome.
It was.
First kid playing
basketball, which is awesome.
I couldn't care less if they played or
not, but it was kind of cool.
She wanted to do it all on her own.
She did.
I had never played before either, and I
thought she killed it.
She crushed it.
Yeah.
She crushed it.
It was awesome.
Defensive juggernaut has been
the term I've been throwing.
And she came off
feeling good about herself.
And basketball is not easy.
There's a lot to still learn.
But to come off feeling good about your
first time out, I
mean, I can't ask for more.
She's enjoying it.
She's proud of what she's
been able to accomplish.
I love it.
Can't wait to see what the season brings.
Yeah.
For sure.
Right.
But what was I saying?
Again, I threw a tantrum.
Oh, how we're working if we aren't doing
one of those things.
If we're not doing one of those things,
then we're probably working.
I mean, then we're probably working.
We're sitting on the couch watching, you
know, NFL football with
our laptops on our thing.
I mean, there is no division.
Whereas at 25, 35, maybe even 40 years
old, I mean, it was
like, you know, at five, six
o'clock rolls around, pop
that thing down and I'm off.
I'm not even thinking about it.
Yeah.
It's right.
Like, I think part of that
is that work from home thing.
You know, if you are working from home,
it's like, what did that even?
I just saw an email come through.
I should probably check it.
And but it is so then
hard to protect couples time.
It's hard to protect your own time.
Family time.
I mean, all of it.
It's just like I was telling someone the
other day, I was like,
there is not one minute in
my day that's unaccounted for where I'm
like, what should I do?
I might just sit here, you know, like not
even one minute
between five, 45 and 11, 15.
That's right.
The best day for you this whole year.
I want one of the best
days for you the whole year.
Right.
Oh my God.
It was two weeks ago.
It was.
So my company gives a wellness day.
I think we may have talked about this.
Oh, did we?
I don't remember.
I don't know.
But it is a day that the company gives
everybody and it's picked on me.
I usually last Friday of the month or
last Friday of October.
So it's a day when people who have
children, their kids are
in school so they don't have
to take care of their kids.
I mean, or less they want to.
Right.
It is truly a wellness day for you to do
however you want to do it.
Go for a walk.
I mean, they give suggestions.
Go for a walk.
Like whatever makes you feel good.
And because everybody in the company does
it, you don't get emails.
I mean, it's like, it's like
Thanksgiving, right?
Like everybody gets Thanksgiving off.
And so you're not because if you take a
day off, you still get emails all day.
That was the key.
If you work piling up, you don't have
work piling up because everybody's off.
Yeah.
And I didn't understand that until I was
like, why don't you just
take every other, why don't
you take more Fridays
off so you get this?
Because everybody else is working and
your phone was just
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Yeah.
So that's fantastic.
They give you those.
So it is like another
Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Yeah.
Those few holidays where only that one
person showing off is sending an email.
Exactly.
We all have one of those.
I'm not that person.
But that to me, I look
forward to that day all year.
And I mean, sure, I get the chance to
actually take all the kids
to school in the morning.
Why not?
Like usually get a
Starbucks, put together a puzzle.
Like, what?
It's amazing.
Yeah.
So those are some of those things as
you're kind of just
peeling back that onion, just
all the things that you do at this age.
And it's just how you just
keep putting more and more on.
And now we're getting to that point where
we're putting even more on.
I think one of these next levels we're
doing is preparing the kids for college.
Yeah.
Right.
And there's just so much more to it.
Again, we're blessed to
have athletic children.
So searching for an athletic scholarship
and academic
scholarship is something that
we're going to be doing.
Yeah.
And all the, I mean, it's
nothing that we didn't know, right?
We have friends who
have gone through this.
I went to a college recruiting thing that
they were putting on to just help prepare
parents and students for kind of what to
expect, especially if
you are a student athlete.
And I mean, it is very involved of what
you have to do and when
you have to start doing
it and it's like, okay, well, we're
adding another full-time job.
Just don't put that on there.
And it's night and day from when we were
in college at least.
Oh, yeah.
Going to college.
Yeah.
So, it's just so much more to it.
And it's one of those things that I feel
a little bit like on the line.
Yeah.
Right?
Because it's, you have to have all this
stuff that you do this, and it reveals that, and
it videos this. And so a bit, unfortunately, and people with teenagers have to understand that or have teenagers, it's just so much more important. And I think that's what we're doing. And I think that's what we're doing. And I think that's what we're doing. And I think that's what we're doing. Yeah.
I can't do all that.
No.
You know what I mean?
And that, I mean, I heard the phrase long
ago, like, we're actually raising adults.
And here's where it's like, you hope that
some of those seeds
have landed because they
have to take control in
an active role in this.
This is no longer, mom,
hey, can you do this for me?
Dad, can you do that for me?
Which is one reason why it's like, I
mean, I don't ever talk
to my kids, teachers at
this point anymore.
Maybe the sixth grader.
But like, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I
shouldn't be doing that.
You should be doing that because you're
going to have to talk to a
college recruiter or your
professor or your boss.
I can't do it.
Yeah.
But now it's that point too where it's
just, it's scary because I've told you before you
say it to the kids. Like I've taught you
everything you need to know.
Yeah.
You know what's right and what's wrong.
You know the things that we want you to
be, you know, for the
spirit and kind hearted
and what we need to know.
You know it all.
It's just now up to you whether or not you're going to go out there and do that or not.
I know. And you don't have to be perfect. You're going to make mistakes. But I mean, it's just scary for someone who likes to have control over things. I can rarely admit that all the other people are free, but I do like to have control over things. I'm just going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to send our children out there without,
you know, I mean like,
please make good decisions.
and our children out
there without, you know,
I mean, like, please make good decisions.
And I know they're
not gonna make perfect,
they're not gonna be perfect.
Right, right, but--
But today, I just feel like it's just,
it's just so much
easier to screw up, you know,
and have something in a digital format
that'll haunt you for a long time.
Yeah, it's, yeah, the
repercussions, I feel like,
are just so paramount, and
that is yet another thing
that gets added onto the plate of,
you're parenting,
you're learning in real time,
but you're also trying to walk
that fine line of letting go,
but yet staying close
enough, like, and again, I,
I don't know, it's frightening,
because you don't know how you're doing.
Yeah, yeah. It's like--
Yeah, and that's like the
second most important thing.
I know we're bouncing
around here a little bit,
because career takes up the most time.
Family's the most
important thing, you know,
but then you find
yourself getting interested
in other things too, like, I know,
I would not have called
myself a political person,
you know, in my 20s, or
even my 30s really, that much,
you know what I mean? I know, yeah.
Into my 40s, I don't know
if this just comes with age
or what it is, you know,
but I know polysci interest
whatsoever, in college
or anything like that.
Some people do at
that age, which is great,
but, you know, I
don't know if it's because
you get to a certain age,
where I'm getting at here,
is starting to care
about politics, right?
And I don't know if
you get to a certain age,
and you're like, you know
what, I grew up in a certain world,
and I wanna make sure my kids can grow up
in the same kind of world that I did,
with the same
opportunities that I had, right?
So I don't know if
that's why parents, you know,
are adults at a certain age.
Sometimes I see people get
more political as they get older.
Yeah. Is that a natural--
I think so, I've noticed it too.
You know, in myself, I mean, I was never
a political person at all,
and I think part of it is,
as you grow in your career, it is, like,
not knowing the current environment that
you're operating in,
like, is not acceptable
anymore, you have to know that,
but I think part of it is the kids,
and like, how do I preserve and protect
a good life for them?
But I also think it
just comes with wisdom,
and it's less about, I
mean, think about the 20,
in your 20s, you're
still very self-centered,
you're still very, like, focused on you,
and as you get older, your
perspective opens so much more.
Part of it is because of
the kids and the community
that you find yourself
in, that all of a sudden,
you care way more about
things outside of your own home.
Yeah, there's a, I can't
even think of the name of it
right now, but that's the pyramid, right,
of self-discovery and self-efficacy,
I don't know what it is, but
you take of your basic needs,
that's the biggest one.
Once you hit your basic
needs, you go on to the next one,
right, which are things
that you don't have to have,
but you like to have.
The very top of that is altruism, right,
which means you feel
like you've got everything
you've needed taken care of, and that
doesn't mean economic,
just means, sometimes it is economic,
but it doesn't have to be, right,
but at the top of that is altruism,
which means you actually understand
that taking care of
everybody helps take care of you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
And that's kind of where
you're going with that,
I think people do get
that way as they get older,
where it's like, okay, this world's
bigger than just me.
Yeah.
If we can, if we can all work together,
maybe we can make the world the place
that we want it to be.
Yeah, yeah.
And I think that's the
way it kind of used to work.
I don't know if it's used to work,
because you can go through
history the last 250 years,
and it's been ups and downs.
Sure, sure.
Irregardless of what
side you're on right now,
it's an up and down time right now, too.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
But it's crazy, that's just
another one of those things
that as you start, when you're 25,
you don't think about all these things
that you're just
really trying to deal with
and how to handle it.
Politically, it's funny,
because now nobody talks about it, right?
You know who it's safe to talk to
and who it's not safe to talk to about
politics these days.
And that's kind of what people do.
I hope it changes as we get older,
or as we get further along at some point,
these parties are gonna
have to get their acts together
so that we can get back
to having good arguments
and shaking hands and having dinner.
In Washington, but that's
just another one of those things
that as you get older, you
just kind of just keep layering
in all this stuff.
And then you start thinking about,
I mean, I don't know,
am I missing anything yet
that just jumping off the thing for you?
I don't think so.
But I'm not quite there
yet, but legacy, right?
Is something because our
kids are getting to an age
where they're gonna
leave our house soon, right?
And they were talking earlier, it's like,
I hope you have everything
that you could possibly have had
that we could provide you with, right?
And I hope it's enough to
just give you that inertia
and that push and that
inner fire or whatever it is,
just to go out there
and just enjoy your life.
Exactly. Right, crush it.
Like we've told our kids,
like, all I want you to be
is be someone that, I want
you to be happy and kind.
And I want you to give
something to society.
Find whatever you're good at.
Whatever, you know, I
don't wanna say makes you happy
because I think that's a
little bit of a misnomer,
like, you know what I mean?
Drawing in the sand makes me happy.
Well, you gotta do more
than draw in the sand.
Right. You know what I mean?
But, you know, add some
value, find a way to add value,
find your way to add value
to society in an economic way.
And you'll find, you'll
get some sense of self worth
back from that and be kind and be happy.
That's all I want from them.
Yes, yes. For them.
I know, like.
But then, you know, once,
that's kind of our job to get that done.
And there's a lot we can
do as parents after that.
Yeah. You know?
And that'll be
interesting because, you know,
that gets into that
whole discussion of like,
well, how are our parents
and how are they with us now?
And how do we wanna be different?
Everybody wants to be a different parent
than their parents were to some degree.
Some degree. Or improve on this,
or improve on that or whatever.
Right, right.
I mean, it's very few
people who are like exactly like,
I wanna be just like
this parent, you know?
I was like, oh no, I really
liked how my parents did this.
And that's not a dig on the parents.
No, not at all. It's just everybody's
individual and, right.
Our kids are gonna do
the same thing to us.
Be like, oh my gosh, my
mom was awful at this,
so I'd like to improve on that, you know?
Like, it's okay. Right, right.
But she was really good at this
and I wanna do that the same way.
Yeah. I expect that.
Yeah, exactly. And I hope that.
That's true because I
think being a parent
more than anything,
like you do have to be
somewhat authentic to who you are.
I mean, yes, you have to be a
disciplinarian sometimes,
even if that's not where it comes,
naturally, but you still have to be that.
But at the same time,
your kids are gonna know
your authentic self
through how you parent them.
Yeah, and I think that's something
that I've worked really hard on
and I know you're working on it.
You're good at it, but
there are some aspects
you're working on, but
I've been very honest
with our kids of, hey,
look, this is who I am.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not trying to pretend I am.
We're all humans.
It's trying to show them
it's okay not to be perfect
because we've talked about it.
We have super high
expectations in our house,
whether it's academic,
whether it's athletic,
whatever it is, all kinds of things.
We have high expectations,
but we don't expect you to be perfect.
No. You know what I mean?
And the way I show
them that is by leading.
I'm not perfect either.
Right, right. You know what I mean?
And I'm not trying to,
I'm not trying to, what
am I trying to say here?
I'm not trying to subtly suggest
that I've got major issues.
I don't, I've got life
together fairly well,
but I'm not perfect.
You know what I mean?
With our kids, like, do I
overreact to things sometimes?
Yeah.
If I'm in a bad mood, do I take it on
other people sometimes?
Yeah.
And those are the things that we go back
and we're like, hey, I messed up.
I was mad about this at work.
You kinda, you forgot to do your thing.
You've had to throw trash
away, and I took it out on you.
I mean, it's something that
wasn't that big of a deal.
Right.
So those are the things that I feel like,
you know, like, we do
try very hard to be real.
Yeah.
You know, like with emotions,
and that's something you kinda work on
is trying to show emotions to them.
Right.
It's not always just perfect.
It's not always perfect, yeah.
Yeah, it's okay to be sad.
It's okay to be frustrated.
It's okay, you know.
Yeah.
So it's that legacy though is
where I was going with that.
It's like, that next stage is like,
what are we leaving behind?
We're leaving hopefully
some very well-adjusted,
happy, well, you know, successful kids.
Yeah.
You know, and successful in whatever way
that defines their success.
Their success, exactly.
You know.
Exactly.
I think that's, that is huge,
and now is the time
when we start thinking
about that more and more.
Yeah.
Because it's, I mean,
you start counting down
of like the utter shock and awe of like,
we only have two more years left,
or two and a half
years left with that child
before they leave the house.
And your children, even
after they leave the house,
are still your children.
And it doesn't mean that
you don't have time with them,
but that time changes
entirely after they leave your home.
I know.
I'm just not ready.
I've said it a million times on here.
I'm just not ready for it yet.
But you know, he hasn't,
you know, soiled the nest yet.
You know what I mean?
That's right.
I can't imagine.
I mean, he gets more attitude than the
necessary sometimes.
But you know, within,
I think, expectations.
Yeah.
But he also can be like,
he just will blow your expectations away
when you're like, oh my
gosh, you just completely,
or the sweetest human
being, or whatever it was,
like, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you
because you did that.
Right.
And the other part of
that's hard for them,
just leaving the house,
is just knowing that I
saw this the other day.
Like we've known it,
but I've seen the stats
and it's coming out a
little bit more to you
that this will likely
be the first generation
that won't be able to improve
upon their parents' economic status.
I mean, that's been the
case for multiple generations,
in modern era, basically.
And this will be the first generation
that really finds difficult to improve.
And that's something that
would be difficult, I think.
And I've already tried
to lay seeds for this,
being like, hey,
look, you have two parents
that have been successful in their
careers to some degree.
And don't feel like you have
to live in a house like this.
If you don't live in a house
like this when you grow up,
that's okay.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, just want you to be happy again.
Just want you to be happy.
Just be kind and happy.
You know what I mean?
Find success in your own way.
Has nothing to do
with that kind of stuff.
Money has nothing to do with happiness.
We were just talking about the other day,
like I don't think it was on this,
but we were talking about the other day,
like we could be billionaires.
We could be billionaires.
And the things that make
us mad on a daily basis,
money wouldn't change.
Nope, nope.
I would still be annoyed
at X, Y, or Z, you know?
Like--
It wouldn't change any of those things.
No, it wouldn't.
So money's just not the answer.
It makes life easier, buys fun toys.
All that's true, but it's not the answer.
You have to be okay before.
There's plenty of
people that have got money
one way or another,
and they're miserable.
That's exactly right.
Or they lose it because
they don't want to handle it.
Anyways, I just thought
it was interesting today
to talk through that, but
am I missing anything else?
I don't think so.
Okay.
I think you nailed it.
I nailed it, yes.
Nailed it. We did, nailed it.
Well, we're squeezing
this in between a pickup
and a takeoff.
Yep, that's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
Because the chaos train keeps going.
The chaos train is not stopping.
It doesn't stop.
It slows down so you
can like hop on board,
but yeah, it doesn't stop.
I think there's been a
couple times where I'm like,
"Here, we're gonna hit me."
I'll catch the next one, I guess.
It's just so chaotic.
That is funny.
I feel that way.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, well, I guess
we gotta think of our words.
Yeah.
Mine's kinda weird.
Okay, I was gonna say, I
don't think I have any.
Yeah, I don't know that
I do either, but I know.
One, two, three.
Tetris. Autumn.
Tetris is a really good one.
Oh, so tell me about Autumn.
No, it's just the time of
the year, similar to yours.
Yours last year was the drink.
Pumpkin spice. Oh, yeah,
pumpkin spice, yeah.
Mine's Autumn, you
know, we've got the scents
in the house, we've
got seasonal decorations,
we had cold weather this
week, it's just starting to feel
a little bit like Autumn.
Which is a great
season, I love this season.
I know the kids do too, so.
Oh my gosh, it's like
all the anticipation
and we're coming up on
Thanksgiving and Christmas
oh my gosh, it really
is, it is an awesome time.
Trying to fight off sinus infections,
it's a great season. It's a great season.
It's a great season.
But Tetris for you.
Tetris, I feel like last
week, this week, next week,
it is just about fitting it all in.
100%, that would work for me too.
I mean, I could, I could, what is it?
Same same. Same same.
Yeah. Same.
Same, yeah.
(laughing) Yeah, there's a lot of
just gotta get that done,
gotta get that done.
I am in that mode right now, I'm in mind
where it's just like,
just gotta put my
head down and keep going.
One foot in front of the other.
Yep. Can't stop, just gotta go.
Cause at some point
we're gonna get to a spot
where I can't take a
breath, but it's nice to me.
Nope, hopefully over Thanksgiving break.
For the next day.
(laughing)
Yeah, I feel like I
look at my outlet calendar
and I'm like, okay,
Tetris, let me move this
so I can accommodate this and let me
switch that on its side.
I can get it in here.
Well, let me know if
there's anything I can do
or let me know if there's anything
these people can do for you.
They can.
We'll call them friends and family.
We'll call them, it takes a village.
Yeah, delivered dinners
would be great, lasagna.
(laughing)
I actually know lasagna kids.
They need to, I love lasagna.
I love lasagna. I like it so good.
Make it again, they might like it now.
Oh, they might.
How do we have kids
that don't like pasta?
Where is my mic?
I don't know.
Well, let's let these people go.
Episode 43, in the books.
In the books, so here we go, chow chow.
All right, we'll see ya.
Bye.
I was trying to get you out of there.
Yeah, all right, thank you.
(upbeat music)
Do you think you'd be interested
in doing a podcast with me?
(laughing)
I mean, it's laughable.
No.
Like and subscribe.
But you're lame.
I'm not gonna give you the time of day.
Oh, you think this is hard.
You just waited.
30 year old Megan
could not have done that.
It's meant for napping.
Football is made for snacking.
You got this made for napping.
Yes.
Yeah.
Whole point of the sports.
Exactly.
Like, well, you're a weighty-dwee.
Sure.
I'm like 50-50 yoga and work.
50-50 yoga and work.
I am a female.
That's crazy.
Insane.
We all know who that person is.
We all have one of those.
Deep it's a juggernaut has been the term
I've been through.
Your job will be posted
before you're obituary.
Money has nothing to do with happiness.
No, I'll get to that one later.
Yeah, whether that's
healthy or not, it's all over.
We basically work
anytime we are not at soccer.
(laughing)
Or track.
All right.
Episode 43, "In the Books."
"In the Books."
So, here we go.
Chow, chow.
All right, yeah.
Nailed it.