WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:00.789 --> 00:00:06.320 Welcome to the Soul Touched by Dogs Podcast, the show for dog lovers who 00:00:06.340 --> 00:00:12.000 see dogs not as toys or tools, but wise souls worth our respect and care. 00:00:12.580 --> 00:00:14.559 I'm an Herrmann, and I'm your host. 00:00:15.320 --> 00:00:20.560 I talk to poor some humans, people who do great work for dogs and their people. 00:00:21.099 --> 00:00:23.360 So come and join us for today's conversation. 00:00:25.204 --> 00:00:27.094 Anke: Hello and welcome, Cindy. 00:00:27.154 --> 00:00:29.364 I'm very excited to have you here. 00:00:30.854 --> 00:00:31.864 Cindy: It's great to be here. 00:00:31.904 --> 00:00:36.744 We've had a little chat pre, pre conversation and it's been fun, so 00:00:36.744 --> 00:00:38.504 I'm looking forward to the rest of it. 00:00:39.324 --> 00:00:40.964 Anke: And the rest will be just as much fun. 00:00:40.964 --> 00:00:43.584 I always love sort of hitting record when we're just having a giggle. 00:00:45.644 --> 00:00:49.214 So let people know, where are you based in this lovely world? 00:00:49.264 --> 00:00:52.334 And people all question, what's your business with dogs? 00:00:52.879 --> 00:00:57.039 Cindy: Well, I love that you're in the world and that, so I'm going to say, 00:00:57.039 --> 00:01:03.299 tell people I live in near Minneapolis, Minnesota, which is the north part 00:01:03.329 --> 00:01:05.119 of the heart of the United States. 00:01:05.539 --> 00:01:10.719 So, if you look at our state license plate, it says the land of 10, 000 00:01:10.719 --> 00:01:14.139 lakes and there's actually 12, 000 lakes in the state of Minnesota, 00:01:14.179 --> 00:01:16.559 so we have a lot of nature. 00:01:17.499 --> 00:01:23.389 Minneapolis is a big city, but it's easy to get out into nature, and having dogs 00:01:24.269 --> 00:01:28.689 through my married life and living here has been wonderful to get out and explore. 00:01:29.369 --> 00:01:30.679 Anke: Oh, that's so beautiful. 00:01:31.129 --> 00:01:36.139 Um, yeah, I mean, to be honest, I moved away from the city so that I 00:01:36.149 --> 00:01:40.939 have more space and, you know, for the dogs and myself as well, so. 00:01:42.934 --> 00:01:47.984 So tell me, tell me about, you know, what, you know, what brought you here? 00:01:47.994 --> 00:01:49.624 So what's your involvement with dogs? 00:01:49.674 --> 00:01:52.024 Cause it's not just, you have your own dogs and that's it. 00:01:53.264 --> 00:01:57.624 Cindy: No, it's been an, it's been a journey as a, as a kid, I loved. 00:01:59.394 --> 00:02:03.584 And that, at that point, we had a family dog and then we had a family 00:02:03.584 --> 00:02:10.514 cat and I had a bed load of stuffed animals that I would have to arrange 00:02:10.514 --> 00:02:12.904 at night and rearrange in the morning. 00:02:13.154 --> 00:02:16.164 So I was just, just always in love with dogs. 00:02:16.194 --> 00:02:22.084 And during my senior week of college, so senior week being almost graduating. 00:02:22.864 --> 00:02:29.164 I found a dog, and I lived on campus, and a friend lived off campus, 00:02:29.174 --> 00:02:34.054 so that friend kept the dog, but we couldn't find this dog's home. 00:02:34.579 --> 00:02:38.799 And after graduation, I ended up taking the dog with me. 00:02:38.799 --> 00:02:44.329 I was staying in the community, so I took the dog with me and tried my best to find 00:02:44.329 --> 00:02:51.599 its owners and did everything I could, working with the rescues, and they finally 00:02:51.609 --> 00:02:53.449 said, You've been fostering this dog. 00:02:53.459 --> 00:02:54.299 It's up to you now. 00:02:54.299 --> 00:02:55.719 Do you want to keep this dog? 00:02:56.244 --> 00:02:59.144 Or turn it into the shelter. 00:02:59.394 --> 00:03:04.024 And at that point, as you know, how it is with dogs, I was already smitten 00:03:04.034 --> 00:03:07.624 with this dog and there was no way I was going to send, his name was Snuka. 00:03:08.224 --> 00:03:10.854 Uh, I was never going to send Snuka to a shelter. 00:03:10.854 --> 00:03:13.804 So Snuka came home and lived with me. 00:03:13.804 --> 00:03:14.784 I didn't have any. 00:03:15.774 --> 00:03:16.974 equipment for a dog. 00:03:17.354 --> 00:03:21.864 So our first walks were he even hate laugh when I think 00:03:21.874 --> 00:03:23.824 about I had an extension cord. 00:03:23.834 --> 00:03:25.114 That's what I had to take. 00:03:28.514 --> 00:03:31.564 But he didn't need a he didn't need a leash. 00:03:31.824 --> 00:03:34.144 And he would walk with me. 00:03:34.154 --> 00:03:37.599 We we started walking around the block and pretty soon you knew it, we 00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:40.249 were walking three miles every day. 00:03:40.289 --> 00:03:43.819 And I was in love with this dog that took me out into nature 00:03:43.819 --> 00:03:45.689 and he loved being with me. 00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:52.429 And when I met my husband, it was only going to work if he and the dog got along. 00:03:52.569 --> 00:03:55.069 So, and yes, they got along really well. 00:03:55.099 --> 00:04:00.714 And Snoogle was the dog to which all other dogs will be compared. 00:04:01.194 --> 00:04:03.924 And just the best dog. 00:04:04.504 --> 00:04:06.384 He would love to sit in the front yard. 00:04:06.744 --> 00:04:11.724 And if, watched the traffic go by, the people go by, never ever left. 00:04:11.954 --> 00:04:15.684 Never ever wanted to leave my side. 00:04:15.684 --> 00:04:21.094 So, once he found me and we created that connection, that's, that's what went on. 00:04:21.104 --> 00:04:26.364 But, that rescuing, that just hooked me in, and my husband Joe and I lived. 00:04:27.444 --> 00:04:33.024 At one time, in Michigan, on Lake Michigan, on the beach, and when 00:04:33.024 --> 00:04:37.574 you live on the beach, you find lots of crazy things that, animals in 00:04:37.574 --> 00:04:43.704 trouble, and so we were rescuing dogs and cats and ducks and mergansers 00:04:43.764 --> 00:04:47.954 and not that Joe took on the job. 00:04:48.529 --> 00:04:49.419 took it all in. 00:04:49.429 --> 00:04:53.639 He, he was always helpful, but it became something that I wanted to do. 00:04:53.729 --> 00:04:57.149 And it wasn't so much the rescue, it was just taking care of that animal. 00:04:57.559 --> 00:05:02.479 But I can't say that, that wasn't the thing that got me going, but 00:05:02.779 --> 00:05:09.309 what really got me going is we had Snooka, we had the kids, and my 00:05:09.329 --> 00:05:11.999 kids were early in their teens. 00:05:12.099 --> 00:05:14.449 Our second dog's name was Sierra. 00:05:16.004 --> 00:05:22.984 And Sierra died suddenly, unexpectedly, sent us all into a tailspin of grief. 00:05:23.764 --> 00:05:27.534 And it was really hard because when Snooka died, it was just me and Joe, 00:05:27.534 --> 00:05:30.504 and my daughter was so tiny at the time, she didn't really understand. 00:05:31.024 --> 00:05:38.304 But now I had all four of us managing, trying to deal with this grief, and 00:05:38.354 --> 00:05:40.834 something was amiss with the kids. 00:05:41.554 --> 00:05:44.044 And I couldn't put my finger on it. 00:05:44.114 --> 00:05:50.304 It was just massive tsunami of emotions with this grief and 00:05:50.654 --> 00:05:53.814 the only thing I wanted to do was go back to the happy days. 00:05:54.744 --> 00:06:00.694 And when I suggested we adopt another dog, then the next round of fighting began, 00:06:00.694 --> 00:06:05.754 because the years earlier when we had gotten Sierra and everybody was on board, 00:06:06.414 --> 00:06:08.984 this time around, nobody's on board. 00:06:09.024 --> 00:06:12.284 Everybody was like, this is the dog I want, this is the dog I 00:06:12.294 --> 00:06:15.354 want, and nothing was the same. 00:06:16.344 --> 00:06:19.204 So a friend suggested, try fostering. 00:06:20.509 --> 00:06:24.279 And the more I looked into it, you know, here I'm thinking, that's perfect. 00:06:24.809 --> 00:06:26.769 We're gonna solve this problem. 00:06:26.799 --> 00:06:28.659 We'll have a parade of dogs. 00:06:28.659 --> 00:06:34.409 We'll have all this happy energy in the house and I won't have to choose. 00:06:34.719 --> 00:06:40.329 between which dog and making it look as if I am favoring one 00:06:40.329 --> 00:06:41.669 kid's choice over the other. 00:06:42.029 --> 00:06:44.209 So I thought this was my out. 00:06:44.819 --> 00:06:45.779 Oh, that 00:06:45.779 --> 00:06:46.599 Anke: makes, that makes sense. 00:06:48.419 --> 00:06:51.279 Cindy: I thought it was my out for making a tough decision 00:06:51.729 --> 00:06:53.469 and so we started fostering. 00:06:54.619 --> 00:06:55.199 And then, 00:06:55.949 --> 00:06:57.979 Anke: I was just thinking, how did that go? 00:06:57.999 --> 00:07:00.259 Because that's not that easy either, right? 00:07:00.269 --> 00:07:00.849 So, 00:07:02.139 --> 00:07:05.919 Cindy: well, foster dog number one comes in and he's a 00:07:05.919 --> 00:07:08.169 little, we call him Pocket Pet. 00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:11.209 His name was Poet, so Pocket Pet Poet. 00:07:12.694 --> 00:07:16.264 And my younger daughter was in love with Pocket Pet Poet. 00:07:17.374 --> 00:07:23.474 So when it was time for Poet to be put on line for adoption, that was the next 00:07:23.484 --> 00:07:30.104 round of fighting because we realized at that point they weren't through their 00:07:30.114 --> 00:07:37.744 grief from the dog from Sierra dying and now I'm asking them to give up this dog. 00:07:38.464 --> 00:07:44.509 So I know logically what fostering, what it means to win in fostering, 00:07:44.909 --> 00:07:49.619 and that means you give up the dog and open your home to another one. 00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:53.429 So that's the win, is you have to lose in order to win at fostering. 00:07:54.009 --> 00:07:59.979 But nobody in our family was ready for that, so we adopted poet. 00:08:01.029 --> 00:08:01.619 However, 00:08:06.789 --> 00:08:08.619 and there's always a big however, right? 00:08:08.729 --> 00:08:15.974 So the next However, is that the older daughter teen wanted her dog. 00:08:16.594 --> 00:08:21.054 You know, if the younger dog daughter gets her dog, older daughter gets her dog. 00:08:21.404 --> 00:08:26.594 Well, of course, now the second dog that we go to foster is this beautiful 00:08:26.604 --> 00:08:33.354 flat coated retriever, flowing hair, the, you know, retriever tail, black. 00:08:33.364 --> 00:08:34.454 She's a black dog. 00:08:34.949 --> 00:08:39.139 Beautiful almond, soft, soft eyes, and she walked into our home as 00:08:39.139 --> 00:08:44.369 if she knew us, and she was just wiggly and so happy to be with us. 00:08:44.939 --> 00:08:48.569 And there was no way I was giving up that dog. 00:08:55.749 --> 00:08:59.889 So that was foster, foster failure number two. 00:08:59.889 --> 00:09:05.129 So we call foster, we say foster fouling when you adopt your own 00:09:05.159 --> 00:09:07.199 foster dog instead of adopting it out. 00:09:07.199 --> 00:09:09.259 So now I have two resident dogs. 00:09:10.384 --> 00:09:14.114 And a commitment to foster a minimum of six. 00:09:14.154 --> 00:09:17.934 So instead of having one, I now am juggling three. 00:09:18.544 --> 00:09:22.874 And that's when I learned real quickly what, what my limits were. 00:09:24.204 --> 00:09:28.604 So we were going along, we started fostering dogs, but what I noticed 00:09:28.604 --> 00:09:37.724 is that the kids weren't necessarily improving from that kind of click, or 00:09:37.734 --> 00:09:42.444 you know, that part of grief that we got when Sierra died, and we were just going 00:09:42.444 --> 00:09:44.754 through this kind of tumultuous time. 00:09:44.804 --> 00:09:47.364 They were teenagers, things were changing. 00:09:47.374 --> 00:09:50.504 I remember what it was like to be a teenager. 00:09:51.824 --> 00:09:54.044 So we started noticing things with the kids. 00:09:54.314 --> 00:09:59.614 And their grades were slipping, and their behavior was changing, we were 00:09:59.614 --> 00:10:06.704 getting calls from school, and we started to talk with their physicians, 00:10:06.704 --> 00:10:12.854 our medical community, and found out, we did some extensive work with the 00:10:12.854 --> 00:10:18.254 kids and evaluations, and both of the kids ended up with ADHD and anxiety. 00:10:19.154 --> 00:10:25.964 So now we're into this whole thing at home of medication trials and all the 00:10:25.964 --> 00:10:32.274 different things to try and processes and things at school and working with 00:10:32.274 --> 00:10:38.414 teachers and counseling and family counseling, kid and individual counseling. 00:10:39.444 --> 00:10:42.764 And that's when people would say to me, why are you still fostering? 00:10:44.329 --> 00:10:48.499 Well, in the end, as hard as and difficult it is to balance all 00:10:48.509 --> 00:10:50.729 that, and then balance three dogs. 00:10:51.394 --> 00:10:53.744 The dogs were just teaching us all these lessons. 00:10:54.204 --> 00:10:58.114 Caring for the dogs together as a family was keeping us together. 00:10:58.654 --> 00:11:02.304 So at this time when the kids were spiraling out of control for all 00:11:02.304 --> 00:11:06.504 the things that they were going through, we had this family activity 00:11:06.504 --> 00:11:11.064 right there in our house and we got to see all this great connection. 00:11:11.094 --> 00:11:15.964 And so that parade of dogs that I originally wanted was doing what 00:11:15.984 --> 00:11:20.024 I had hoped, just in a different way or for a different reason. 00:11:21.544 --> 00:11:24.084 Anke: I love, I love that, you know, yeah. 00:11:24.084 --> 00:11:27.034 And I totally mean, I know what you mean, like at least four of mine. 00:11:27.034 --> 00:11:29.174 And I mean, they've never all been together. 00:11:29.484 --> 00:11:33.494 So there's always been three, you know, between two and three. 00:11:33.514 --> 00:11:36.554 So, but I think three days, all of a sudden, quite a different, 00:11:36.554 --> 00:11:38.254 different dynamic for sure. 00:11:38.664 --> 00:11:41.634 And, you know, the thing that I always associate with fostering. 00:11:42.074 --> 00:11:46.394 As beautiful as it is, like, I, I just, I love when somebody can do it 00:11:46.394 --> 00:11:50.204 because it is that, you know, you find a home for one, so you can take another 00:11:50.204 --> 00:11:54.194 one in, you know, so, but it's almost like a thousand little deaths, right? 00:11:54.904 --> 00:11:55.564 So it's like 00:11:56.984 --> 00:12:00.834 Cindy: Well, and you know, that's an, this, this whole fostering has 00:12:00.834 --> 00:12:07.519 taught me that As I talked to people, so I started writing a book, my, my 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:12.109 whole idea about writing a book was how to inspire more people to foster. 00:12:12.939 --> 00:12:18.679 And that ended up and that book hopefully will be out this fall. 00:12:18.729 --> 00:12:21.999 And it's a little bit different slant on that. 00:12:21.999 --> 00:12:25.984 But in this whole thing about fostering, I don't know how How 00:12:25.984 --> 00:12:29.814 many people when I'd say I foster would say no, I could never do that. 00:12:29.864 --> 00:12:33.654 I couldn't give them up and I'm, I'm just discovering that I think a lot 00:12:33.654 --> 00:12:36.184 of us have a hard time with grief. 00:12:36.884 --> 00:12:40.074 And we don't know how to manage it, and that's what all 00:12:40.074 --> 00:12:41.594 these years of foster dogs. 00:12:41.594 --> 00:12:48.284 So, we have fostered 25 dogs and about 26 cats now. 00:12:48.714 --> 00:12:53.134 And each time is, it's hard, but then you, there's a logic that comes with it. 00:12:53.414 --> 00:12:57.654 Anke: Yeah, so how long on average, is there like a specific, like how long 00:12:57.694 --> 00:12:59.619 is a dog with you when you foster him? 00:12:59.859 --> 00:13:03.019 Because I think that also makes a difference, you know, like, see, I'm 00:13:05.029 --> 00:13:09.729 like, just because I would be totally, you know, we talked about, I'm totally one of 00:13:09.729 --> 00:13:15.649 these people that's like, you know, then again, I'm thinking, okay, I've looked 00:13:15.799 --> 00:13:19.869 after my friend's dog, you know, for, you know, when she was away, I've been 00:13:19.869 --> 00:13:21.569 looking after her dog for three weeks. 00:13:21.959 --> 00:13:24.199 And, you know, love the dog to bits. 00:13:25.179 --> 00:13:30.799 And I didn't struggle giving her back, because I knew she went back to her 00:13:31.089 --> 00:13:36.849 person, you know, so it's almost like, first of all, time period, it's not six 00:13:36.909 --> 00:13:41.799 months, like, so there was a shorter time period, and I also knew for sure that 00:13:41.799 --> 00:13:47.069 she was going into her home, or like, I know for sure they're going into a great 00:13:47.329 --> 00:13:49.909 home, but well, maybe I could, right? 00:13:49.909 --> 00:13:53.239 It's all, how long on average is is an animal with you? 00:13:54.099 --> 00:13:57.079 Cindy: You know, there, there really is no average. 00:13:57.089 --> 00:14:02.529 It just depends on the dog and oftentimes the circumstances. 00:14:02.529 --> 00:14:08.149 So when Margo came into us, big Margo, the big black coated 00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:10.829 retriever, she was already spayed. 00:14:11.369 --> 00:14:17.209 She was in perfect health and we could have turned her around and put 00:14:17.209 --> 00:14:21.689 her out on the web, probably within two or three weeks, to get an idea 00:14:22.099 --> 00:14:23.689 of what her personality was like. 00:14:23.689 --> 00:14:27.759 Because one of the key things as a foster and being in your home is you're 00:14:27.759 --> 00:14:29.929 going to write a profile about them. 00:14:30.539 --> 00:14:31.899 Do they like men? 00:14:32.299 --> 00:14:33.939 Do they get along with kids? 00:14:33.969 --> 00:14:35.209 Do they get along with cats? 00:14:35.219 --> 00:14:37.909 So that people can get a better idea of. 00:14:38.309 --> 00:14:40.049 They fall in love with the picture. 00:14:40.069 --> 00:14:41.229 It's almost like real estate. 00:14:41.239 --> 00:14:45.229 They fall in love with the picture, but then you want to know the story 00:14:45.239 --> 00:14:47.559 is, does the rest fit with your home? 00:14:47.559 --> 00:14:51.809 And that's the beauty of fostering is they've been in a home, you know, if 00:14:51.809 --> 00:14:53.839 they like to walk, do they like to run? 00:14:53.849 --> 00:14:57.709 Do they like to play ball, you know, snuggle all those things. 00:14:57.709 --> 00:15:03.669 And so at a minimum, usually two to three weeks, but then sometimes. 00:15:03.839 --> 00:15:08.759 Depending on the type of situation a dog has been in, if they're, they've 00:15:08.759 --> 00:15:15.389 become hugely fearful because of, or separation anxiety, it may take longer. 00:15:15.639 --> 00:15:17.099 Poet was a tough dog. 00:15:17.389 --> 00:15:21.629 Poet came to us, he was three years old, had never been neutered, he had 00:15:21.629 --> 00:15:27.529 a lot of house issues, and had we not him, adopted him ourselves, he 00:15:27.529 --> 00:15:32.329 probably would have stayed within us as a foster for a number of months. 00:15:32.929 --> 00:15:35.409 So there's, and there's different ways to foster. 00:15:35.409 --> 00:15:40.449 Yesterday I was volunteering with somebody who fosters fearful dogs, 00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:45.149 and his, those dogs he said usually stay with him for a year and a half. 00:15:45.949 --> 00:15:50.539 So, he takes about a year to get them where they need to be, and then it 00:15:50.539 --> 00:15:55.329 takes another six months to find the people, whereas I just had a foster cat 00:15:55.339 --> 00:15:57.379 that he went out the door in two weeks. 00:15:58.329 --> 00:15:59.169 So, it's And do you find 00:15:59.169 --> 00:16:05.779 Anke: there is a relationship between, uh, you know, like length of time fostered 00:16:05.849 --> 00:16:09.699 and kind of risk of foster failure? 00:16:09.699 --> 00:16:13.709 Yeah, I mean, do you find that the longer the dog stays The more, are 00:16:13.709 --> 00:16:17.289 there any numbers, like the more likely it is or is it just sometimes the 00:16:17.319 --> 00:16:20.559 connection and sometimes you just know it in an instant and it doesn't matter? 00:16:21.459 --> 00:16:21.569 Cindy: I 00:16:21.609 --> 00:16:21.809 Anke: think 00:16:21.809 --> 00:16:22.679 Cindy: it's the connection. 00:16:23.184 --> 00:16:25.374 You know, and in the beginning it is hard to give up. 00:16:25.374 --> 00:16:26.684 I'm not going to say it isn't. 00:16:26.714 --> 00:16:31.944 I mean, we had Poet and Margo because it was really hard for me, and you 00:16:31.944 --> 00:16:39.194 have to let that problem solving and that ability to say no come forward. 00:16:39.734 --> 00:16:44.954 And one of the things another foster and I were talking about that she loves and 00:16:45.004 --> 00:16:49.934 that she wishes people would understand, especially as you go into retirement. 00:16:50.334 --> 00:16:55.844 as fostering is perfect because you get to have the animal and it's almost like grand 00:16:55.844 --> 00:17:00.074 pairing grand parenting you get to have the animal and then they go off somewhere 00:17:00.074 --> 00:17:04.664 else and you go do your activities you go travel and then when you're ready for the 00:17:04.664 --> 00:17:08.534 animal again you have it and you don't have to worry about where the animal is 00:17:08.534 --> 00:17:13.259 going to go while you are On vacation or who's going to care for it and what's 00:17:13.259 --> 00:17:14.709 going to be like when you come back. 00:17:15.199 --> 00:17:19.959 So the more you foster, the more you realize, huh, this is kind of nice. 00:17:19.959 --> 00:17:24.949 You get all the feels of being with a dog, they move on. 00:17:25.339 --> 00:17:31.049 And what's fun at that point, when you have created that connection, it's not 00:17:31.049 --> 00:17:35.899 only creating a space in your home to take in another animal, you've just. 00:17:36.489 --> 00:17:37.239 Matchmaking. 00:17:37.819 --> 00:17:38.199 Yeah. 00:17:38.209 --> 00:17:42.559 You, you watch this love blossom and people send pictures. 00:17:42.569 --> 00:17:46.419 They love to send you pictures and keeping, you know, keep me engaged 00:17:46.429 --> 00:17:48.179 in what's going on in their life. 00:17:48.199 --> 00:17:51.129 And, you know, in the beginning, there's a lot and maybe a few over 00:17:51.129 --> 00:17:55.559 the years, but you get to watch this animal fall in love in the 00:17:55.569 --> 00:17:57.189 family, fall in love with the animal. 00:17:57.759 --> 00:18:02.689 But that, like for me now, The next kind of realm I'm into is working with other 00:18:02.689 --> 00:18:07.229 fosters who are new and struggling. 00:18:08.209 --> 00:18:09.329 How can I give them up? 00:18:09.329 --> 00:18:10.749 And will they be okay? 00:18:10.749 --> 00:18:15.819 And, and part of that learning to be okay is trusting yourself that you've done a 00:18:15.819 --> 00:18:19.849 good job with the animal, you've done a good job screening the people that you're 00:18:20.534 --> 00:18:26.404 working with and feeling confident and comfortable saying yes and letting go. 00:18:27.254 --> 00:18:31.174 Anke: I was just about to ask you, like, do you get a say or, you 00:18:31.174 --> 00:18:32.934 know, in where the animal goes? 00:18:33.094 --> 00:18:35.884 Because I think for me personally, that would make a massive difference. 00:18:36.774 --> 00:18:41.684 Like, if I know that this dog, if I know that person or have a sense of that 00:18:41.904 --> 00:18:46.754 person and I'm like, This dog's gonna have a great life with that person. 00:18:46.774 --> 00:18:49.194 I think that's much easier to let go of. 00:18:49.274 --> 00:18:52.154 And if you're a little bit like, you don't know how it's turning 00:18:52.154 --> 00:18:56.714 out, do you, like, how much of a say do you have in where the dog goes? 00:18:57.199 --> 00:18:59.289 Cindy: Usually, the foster has a lot of say. 00:18:59.299 --> 00:19:05.779 Most fostering goes through some rescue agency, and many of them have different 00:19:06.479 --> 00:19:11.809 ways in which they screen the people that are interested in adopting an animal. 00:19:12.269 --> 00:19:17.629 So, the rescue I work with, They're like my helicopter parent. 00:19:17.629 --> 00:19:23.409 They know what questions to ask to make sure people are 00:19:23.409 --> 00:19:26.039 responding as honestly as possible. 00:19:26.379 --> 00:19:31.189 So really, if you can get that connection going with people and asking questions 00:19:31.189 --> 00:19:35.539 and a conversation, because the more people talk, the more information you get. 00:19:35.729 --> 00:19:39.109 And then you can start weighing, am I seeing red flags and, 00:19:39.109 --> 00:19:41.269 and feeling uncomfortable? 00:19:41.769 --> 00:19:45.419 And that, that's part of the process too, is just getting enough 00:19:45.419 --> 00:19:46.989 information from somebody else. 00:19:47.934 --> 00:19:51.474 through a conversation to test your own trust. 00:19:51.774 --> 00:19:52.844 How is this feeling? 00:19:52.864 --> 00:19:57.754 So it really develops your intuition, but I'm fortunate in that the 00:19:57.754 --> 00:20:00.954 rescue I work with, they pre screen. 00:20:00.964 --> 00:20:08.104 So nobody gets to me until they've been pre screened and pretty much at that 00:20:08.104 --> 00:20:10.944 point saying they seem to fit our mold. 00:20:11.074 --> 00:20:15.414 So we're going to pass them on to Cindy and let her do the final screening. 00:20:15.424 --> 00:20:16.654 And then there's always that. 00:20:17.204 --> 00:20:21.814 Meeting them in their home, having them come to your own home, to see how they are 00:20:21.814 --> 00:20:25.224 with, with the animal, you know, the dogs. 00:20:25.944 --> 00:20:28.844 Anke: I mean, has it, does it happen sometimes that something like 00:20:28.844 --> 00:20:33.924 doesn't work out and then you get the dog back or, or, or does it then 00:20:33.924 --> 00:20:35.969 go to a different foster or like? 00:20:35.969 --> 00:20:36.532 Does it happen? 00:20:36.532 --> 00:20:37.829 I mean, I guess it would. 00:20:38.049 --> 00:20:40.919 Cindy: There, I have only had it happen twice. 00:20:41.109 --> 00:20:41.379 Okay. 00:20:41.389 --> 00:20:47.509 And in both of my situations, it was a failure on the adopter 00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:49.839 to disclose some information. 00:20:50.329 --> 00:20:55.969 And that information tended to have a relate to mental health issues. 00:20:56.429 --> 00:21:01.059 So in one case, it was a family that was getting a dog for a mother. 00:21:02.189 --> 00:21:04.899 And she came with glowing recommendations. 00:21:04.909 --> 00:21:13.699 She was a animal massage therapist, but she had moved into dementia and it wasn't 00:21:13.699 --> 00:21:17.769 a pretty dementia and they were hoping that having an animal would calm her 00:21:17.789 --> 00:21:19.779 and it was just creating more struggles. 00:21:19.789 --> 00:21:23.369 So once we worked through that, and then the same thing happened with another. 00:21:24.404 --> 00:21:29.824 Another couple is that they wanted it for their elderly mother and 00:21:29.874 --> 00:21:33.224 they were going to take care of it and when they finally got to that 00:21:33.224 --> 00:21:37.024 moment of it's taking care of her. 00:21:37.064 --> 00:21:41.474 There's a lot of wrecking, you know, recognition that has to come along in 00:21:41.474 --> 00:21:45.584 this process when it's mental health and who's going to take care of an 00:21:45.584 --> 00:21:48.744 animal is taking care of your parent. 00:21:49.184 --> 00:21:53.624 As they age, it's a lot of work, and it's hard for some people to accept 00:21:53.634 --> 00:21:55.874 that until they actually get into it. 00:21:55.884 --> 00:21:59.754 So, in those cases, the animal came back into the system. 00:22:00.114 --> 00:22:04.564 Uh, we had a, within our rescue, we did have somebody who the animal 00:22:04.564 --> 00:22:07.684 went out, and that's when they discovered that one of their kids had 00:22:07.684 --> 00:22:12.034 a severe allergic reaction to fur. 00:22:12.294 --> 00:22:14.644 And so they couldn't be around the animal. 00:22:14.914 --> 00:22:16.104 And it had to come back. 00:22:16.124 --> 00:22:19.744 And it, you know, nothing that they were trying to hide or anything like that. 00:22:19.754 --> 00:22:21.404 They just didn't know until it happened. 00:22:21.614 --> 00:22:22.864 Anke: Yeah, well, that makes sense. 00:22:23.044 --> 00:22:23.524 That makes sense. 00:22:23.954 --> 00:22:25.434 Yeah, it's a fascinating world. 00:22:25.434 --> 00:22:31.094 It feels like it's this crash course in intuition and psychology and 00:22:31.384 --> 00:22:33.054 personal, like, self awareness. 00:22:33.084 --> 00:22:37.294 And, you know, you really kind of get to know your own emotional reactions in a 00:22:37.294 --> 00:22:43.154 whole new way because it's just really, It's, it's not just a transaction, right? 00:22:43.154 --> 00:22:46.264 There's that, you've got that connection and you've got to, you 00:22:46.264 --> 00:22:48.784 know, manage it and appreciate it. 00:22:48.914 --> 00:22:51.204 Yeah, I just find it fascinating. 00:22:51.604 --> 00:22:58.194 So where can people connect with you, find out more about, could people contact you 00:22:58.254 --> 00:23:01.604 if they may be considering fostering and they're not going to have questions and 00:23:01.604 --> 00:23:05.864 not quite sure or, you know, where can people find more, find out more about you? 00:23:05.864 --> 00:23:06.064 I'm 00:23:06.064 --> 00:23:09.894 Cindy: open to conversation because the more. 00:23:10.834 --> 00:23:14.324 We can help people get through that hump and find other fosters to get 00:23:14.324 --> 00:23:16.314 into it, even questions about adoption. 00:23:16.314 --> 00:23:22.234 But I write a weekly newsletter on the platform Substack, and my newsletter 00:23:22.234 --> 00:23:24.034 is called Like People, Like Pets. 00:23:24.474 --> 00:23:29.224 And it's, it's not just about fostering, it's about how the ways that all 00:23:29.224 --> 00:23:33.384 the different ways that animals and humans enhance each other's lives. 00:23:33.904 --> 00:23:37.724 But I do talk a lot about fostering there, and so people can certainly 00:23:37.724 --> 00:23:43.204 get a hold of me through that method, and it's, it requires a subscription 00:23:43.204 --> 00:23:48.294 to write, to read it, I'm sorry, um, the subscription is free. 00:23:48.674 --> 00:23:52.604 So it's a click of a button and no big deal from there. 00:23:52.664 --> 00:23:55.664 And that way people can talk to me directly. 00:23:56.244 --> 00:23:56.744 Anke: I love that. 00:23:56.814 --> 00:23:57.274 I love that. 00:23:57.564 --> 00:23:58.314 Thank you so much. 00:23:58.324 --> 00:24:01.314 Obviously, if you're listening in the, on the, on the podcast, it's 00:24:01.314 --> 00:24:04.404 in the show notes, and if you're watching it in a newsletter, it will 00:24:04.404 --> 00:24:07.764 be just below or above, wherever, wherever you're watching us. 00:24:08.564 --> 00:24:09.394 so much, Cindy. 00:24:09.394 --> 00:24:10.294 This was enlightening. 00:24:10.944 --> 00:24:12.209 And I think it kind of. 00:24:13.819 --> 00:24:18.749 Like what you shared and how you shared it really sort of takes the kind of 00:24:18.749 --> 00:24:21.759 sadness out of the idea of fostering. 00:24:21.789 --> 00:24:24.529 So I think you're doing brilliant work. 00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:27.229 So I'm super happy that you came along today. 00:24:27.749 --> 00:24:30.409 Cindy: Well, I appreciate the opportunity. 00:24:30.409 --> 00:24:35.859 It's been fun getting to know you and I'll be waiting for your call about fostering. 00:24:39.529 --> 00:24:40.159 Thanks so much. 00:24:40.939 --> 00:24:41.529 Take care. 00:24:41.629 --> 00:24:42.059 Bye bye. 00:24:43.206 --> 00:24:44.436 Thanks so much for listening. 00:24:44.956 --> 00:24:49.256 If you enjoyed the episode, don't forget to subscribe, and leave a review so 00:24:49.356 --> 00:24:51.136 other dog lovers can find the show. 00:24:51.926 --> 00:24:55.416 If you haven't already, head over to soul touched by dogs. 00:24:55.846 --> 00:25:01.416 com and sign up for weekly doggy cuteness tips, recommendations, and personal 00:25:01.516 --> 00:25:03.886 stories to warm your dog loving heart. 00:25:03.886 --> 00:25:07.616 And if you know a pawsome human you think I should interview, 00:25:08.036 --> 00:25:09.176 I'd love an introduction. 00:25:09.656 --> 00:25:11.486 Email me at Anke. 00:25:11.756 --> 00:25:15.991 That's A N k E at Soul touched by dogs.com.