Every Damn Thing

We add Boxer (a dog breed), brief (a unit of time), commando (a specialty soldier), and whale tail (an animal appendage) to the List of Every Damn Thing.

Show Notes

Guest panelist Jason returns to help Phil and Jake further undress the List of Every Damn Thing by ranking the Boxer dog breed, the time-related concept of "brief", military commandos, and the tails of whales.

If you have something to add to the List of Every Damn Thing, let us know by sending an email to list@everydamnthing.net (or get at us on Twitter and Instagram).

SHOW NOTES:
  • The Look Who’s Talking film franchise is of course available on DVD box set with bonus features. But we’re not going to give you a link to that.
  • While there's evidence that Heathcliff the cat is a fan of pie, we couldn’t find proof that he steals them from windowsills. He's definitely guilty of something, though.
  • Jake advanced his theory that everyone has either a country cousin or a city cousin. TV Tropes proves him right.
  • The convoluted history / retconning of Nick Fury comes up in our discussion. In the Marvel comics, he started out as a WWII hero. Later stories about him took place in modern times, the idea being that he’d ingested a chemical that kept him (and his supporting cast) from aging. In the movies, they don’t want to have multiple characters who have been around since WWII and also since they cast a black actor as Fury, they can’t have him leading a platoon in WWII since the army wasn’t desegregated until after the war. Instead they just avoid it entirely and use Dum-Dum Dugan.
  • In the only scene Phil remembers from the Commando movie, Schwarzenegger gets totally outfitted with stuff he got at a sporting goods store.
  • Megaforce (1982) is a fantastic movie that Phil saw in the theatre as a kid. An older kid probably took him to see it, because it’s hard to imagine his parents being interested in it but he was only six when it came out. It’s kind of a GI Joe-adjacent story about super-commandos in spandex pants. In the climactic scene, the hero has to fly his motorcycle into a transport plane. In this episode, Jake claims that the motorcycle was fueled by chicken shit, but he was confusing Megaforce with Warlords of the Twenty-First Century which came out the same year.
  • We muse a bit about Oreo stuf. Phil’s son recently told him about the Most Stuf Oreos, which would maybe go higher than Double Stuf Oreos on the List of Everything just in the name of absurdity. Here’s a recipe to make your own stuf at home. You’ll just have to go through this person’s dissertation about life to get to it. 
  • Whale Tail is a 2005 pornographic movie where all the women have thong underwear visible (prior to getting undressed presumably). Scott Nails is not only a porn actor, he’s also a voting activist. Here’s his twitter. 
  • When Phil said dolphins do things he doesn’t like, he’s referring to them being sexually aggressive with humans and each other. He knows that we can’t judge dolphins by human rules but people are out here saying they’re smarter than us. You can read about  cetacean intelligence here.
  • About five years ago Jake and Phil went on a backpacking trek with some friends along the Lost Coast and camped near a giant, rotting whale carcass (with tail attached).
  • Jake read the unabridged version of Moby-Dick, not the shorter version where they don’t spend whole chapters describing different types of whales.
  • We discuss the eating of whale meat. In Japan, whale meat was used as a food source nationwide for the first time after the war. In the 50s they passed a law that school lunches should contain whale meat and the law was in effect through the 1980s.

ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
Scientology * the Westminster dog show * Cher * A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking * MacBeth * Scooby-Doo * Gravy SEALs * Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos * Snake-Eyes * Charmander (seen here chasing his tail) * Barry Bonds * Tommy Bahamas shirts * blowing up a beached whale * Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home * sardines


Below is the List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the most up-to-date list, go here):

  1. Dolly Parton - person
  2. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
  3. Prince - person
  4. Cher - person
  5. Donald Duck - fictional character
  6. Hank Williams - person
  7. air - substance
  8. Watchmen - comic book
  9. onions - food
  10. “Midnight Train to Georgia” - music
  11. sex - idea
  12. Boxer (dog breed) - animal
  13. ducks - animal
  14. firefighters - people
  15. Shakira - person
  16. The Three Stooges - comedy act
  17. Christmas trees - seasonal decoration
  18. Trading Places - 1983 film
  19. intro to “Back That Azz Up” - music
  20. The Truman Show - movie
  21. dilapidated shacks - structures
  22. shirtless men wearing elaborate angel wings, gold lamé shorts & furry cha-cha heels - idea
  23. plants - life form
  24. handkerchiefs - accessory
  25. nail clippers - tool
  26. rye bread - food
  27. cubed ice - substance
  28. Antoni Gaudi - architect
  29. Run the Jewels - music group
  30. Popeye - fictional character
  31. land - substance
  32. Charmander - fictional character
  33. A-shirts (aka “wifebeaters”) - clothing
  34. “Dancing Queen” - music
  35. Watchmen - TV series
  36. Jessica Rabbit - fictional character
  37. Volkswagen “Bug” - vehicle
  38. Cheech and Chong - comedy act
  39. “Tulsa Time” - music
  40. brief - idea
  41. cold brew shandy - beverage
  42. Jersey Shore - location
  43. crows - animal
  44. sea - substance
  45. coffee - beverage
  46. eggs (chicken) - food
  47. Whoppers (candy) - food
  48. national debt - idea 
  49. band t-shirts - clothing
  50. Crocs - clothing
  51. Ice Cube - person
  52. wind chimes - decoration / instrument
  53. moist - word
  54. Nerf guns - toy
  55. lightning rounds - idea
  56. zipper jeans - clothing
  57. generation ships - idea
  58. seedless watermelon - food
  59. sardines - animal
  60. peanut butter ice cream - food
  61. whale tail - animal appendage
  62. Tommy Bahama shirts - clothing
  63. commandos - people
  64. no-show socks - clothing
  65. zipper jeans  worn with no underwear - situation
  66. Barry Bonds - person
  67. man-bun - hairstyle
  68. toe shoes - clothing
  69. “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” - song
  70. Watchmen - movie
  71. blood - substance
  72. Oreos - food
  73. calamari - food
  74. The Last Starfighter - movie
  75. crushed ice - substance
  76. pigeons - animal
  77. Daylight Saving Time - idea
  78. capitalism - idea
  79. sports team jerseys - clothing
  80. Josta - beverage 
  81. Gambit - fictional character
  82. Surge - beverage
  83. Double Stuf Oreos - food
  84. Jenny McCarthy - person
  85. Hank Williams, Jr - person
  86. McRib - food
  87. QAnon - idea

Theme song by Jade Puget. Audio mastering by Luke Janela. Graphic design by Jason Mann.

Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter and Instagram.

Email us at list@everydamnthing.net. 

What is Every Damn Thing?

Phil and Jake rank everything.