SHARKY'S Place: POSEIDON ADVENTURE
Written by Ed Backes

SHARKEY’S BARROOM - NIGHT
There are only a few customers in the bar and GORDON is one of them. He sits at the bar with a drink in front of him as SANDRA tends to the bar’s business.
GORDON Sandra, you’re looking absolutely radiant tonight.
SANDRA Why thank you, Captain.
GORDON And I don’t think it is the cocktails talking, you have a
certain glow. 
SANDRA You know, Gordo. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep will do for you. And two in a row? Hoooo - fantastic. 
GORDON Oh?!? I was led to believe you were seeing a young gentleman... Gregory something or other.
SANDRA Oh, yeah. He’s the new account rep for Pure-Ice Freeze-Tech. Works the hotel circuit. Really nice guy.
GORDON So nice that you’re getting two good night’s sleep in a row?
SANDRA I was seeing him.
GORDON Ahh!
SANDRA He was getting a little clingy and I don’t think he’s long term material so, I had to let him off the hook.
GORDON I do hope you were gentle.
SANDRA Of course! He came by about a week ago and I was looking though a book I have on hand for just such occasions - “1,000 Names For Your New Baby,” His phone “buzzed” and he said he had to cancel. Haven’t heard from him since.

SHARKEY'S BARROOM - MORNING
KIRINI and SANDRA are in the middle of pre-opening prep. Kirini checks the bar inventory. Sandra is busy wrapping utensils in napkins.
MYRA enters from the kitchen.
MYRA It’s just not coming together.
KIRINI What?
MYRA Today’s special, the lobster bisque. I’ve made it a thousand times. It’s missing something.
KIRINI You’ve got about two hours to figure it out.
MYRA The crab cakes side of ‘soup and sandwich’ is fine. [Dejected] I just can’t figure this out.
KIRINI Myra, what’s wrong?
MYRA (Sharply) Nothing. 
KIRINI Sandra! Kitchen meeting.
Sandra drops what she’s doing and they go into the kitchen. Myra hands both of them spoons and they dip into the soup vat.
KIRINI There’s nothing wrong with this.
MYRA I don’t know.
SANDRA You got salt.
KIRINI You got sweet .
SANDRA You got acidity. It’s all good.
MYRA Yeah... I guess. 
KIRINI So, what’s the problem?
Myra, resigned to have to talk about it.
MYRA It’s her.
SANDRA Who her? 
MYRA Witch. 
SANDRA Okay,... which her? 
MYRA The witch stealing my Ethan away.
KIRINI Oh, come onnnnn, Myra. They’re teenagers in love. Let them have their fun.
MYRA They’re leaving today.
KIRINI What do you mean leaving?
MYRA For the holiday.
KIRINI Ohhhhh. Well, the bisque is fine. It’s you that’s off.
MYRA Thanks a lot.
KIRINI Seriously, Myra.
There is a pounding at the door. Sandra finds this a good reason to get out of this conversation. She goes to the door.
SANDRA Coming! Jeez, It’s like one minute past opening.
Sandra unlocks the door. AIDEN and CAIDEN, heads hung low, enter and head straight to table six.
SANDRA Lunch won’t be ready for two hours. You guys alright?
AIDEN Got a thirst.
CAIDEN Thirst that hurts.
SANDRA Okay... One Harpoon and a coffee coming right up.
CAIDEN No,  
SANDRA No? 
AIDEN A whiskey. 
SANDRA What?
CAIDEN And a rye.
SANDRA Boys. What happened?
Aiden and Caiden both stare straight ahead, lips trembling.
AIDEN Drinks, please.
CAIDEN If you please, drinks.
SANDRA Coming up. [To the kitchen] Kirini! I need you!
As Sandra pours the drinks, Kirini enters and looking around doesn’t see anything amiss. Sandra signals to the lads with a nod.
KIRINI Good morning, fellas.
Aiden and Caiden nod their heads.
Sandra holds up the unfamiliar order of drinks for Kirini to see and drops them off. Myra enters the barroom.
KIRINI  Is there something I should know about? 
AIDEN It... It’s... Poseidon, Sandra.
CAIDEN Sandra, it’s Poseidon.
SANDRA Oh my god.
Kirini is just as confused about what the lads are saying as she is about being ignored.
MYRA What happened?
CAIDEN She’s gone.
SANDRA What do you mean she’s gone? Someone stole her?
AIDEN Davy Jones’
CAIDEN Locker.
SANDRA Oh my god.
MYRA Oh my god!
Sandra is almost sick. Kirini has no idea what is going on.
KIRINI Poseidon? I know my Greek gods. What the hell is happening?
Sandra pulls it together.
SANDRA Poseidon is the… , was the… blue lobster, in the front tank at the Inky.
MYRA Gordon caught her and gave her to Turbo twenty years ago.
KIRINI A Bluey?
SANDRA Yeah.
Sandra grabs the whisky from Aiden and slams it and heads to the bar.
SANDRA But to the locals,…  Poseidon!
AIDEN And now she’s gone.
Sandra pours two shots of whiskey, slams one and brings the other to Aiden.
CAIDEN Great...blue... 
AIDEN Yonder.
The front door swings open as thunder sounds. There stands GORDON. 
GORDON Is it true lads? Is it TRUE??
Aiden and Caiden hang their heads.
GORDON NOOOOOooooooo!!
Gordon approaches with fire in his eyes.
GORDON Who? WHO allowed this to happen?!
AIDEN Mr. Gordon it wasn’t
CAIDEN Nobody’s fault.
AIDEN Mr. Turbo
CAIDEN Took her
AIDEN To his new restaurant
CAIDEN In Augusta. 
AIDEN They’re inland people, Mr. Gordon
CAIDEN They don’t know!
AIDEN They don’t know!
CAIDEN How to keep the ph.
AIDEN At the right levels.
CAIDEN Nobody meant no harm.
GORDON But she’s gone. DAMN YOU! May the wine dark sea have no mercy on your …
Sandra steps in and guides Gordon towards a seat.
SANDRA Captain Gordon, my captain, Poseidon is gone but you gave her decades of comfort that another captain, my captain would not.
Gordon settles and slumps into a chair. Myra appears with a round of drinks, setting each one down in front of each...
MYRA To Poseidon.
ALL To Poseidon.
They sip from their drink and put their glasses down and pause to reflect. Myra looks to Sandra, who looks to Kirini, who looks back to Myra. The men are still ‘lost in prayer.’
KIRINI Look, gentlemen, Uhhh... We’ve all had a... bit of a shock to the system but some of us have some work to do. You can all stay but...
Gordon stands holding his glass aloft. Aiden and Caiden stand. 
GORDON She was the finest specimen the ocean had ever brought forth. Azure in carapace, cerulean of claw
AIDEN She was blue alright.
CAIDEN Indigo.
GORDON Neither sea nor sky will know her like again. I drink to thee, my lapis lazuli lobster. Poseidon, long may you rule in the seas beyond our reach.
Aiden, Caiden and Gordon tap their glasses on the table three times, raising the glasses with each word. 
CAIDEN Sky!,
AIDEN Salt!,
GORDON Sea!,
GORDON We commend Poseidon to the ocean’s grace.
AIDEN Oars in the water,
CAIDEN Backs to the shore,
GORDON A tankard of sea foam in our face.
The three men empty their drinks and the three more-than-slightly confused women drink theirs as well. The men sit.
SANDRA Maybe you would all like to have an hour or two to yourselves and come back for lunch so we don’t drink on our empties, you know what I mean?
AIDEN We do gotta a little prep
CAIDEN Back at the Inky.
MYRA I have to get lunch ready too.
GORDON I suppose a walk along the wharf to compose myself is a wise idea. 
Gordon stands and steadies himself.
GORDON If I may... If I may ask what... what is the special today.
MYRA Oh it’s Laahhhb… uh… just a soup-and-sandwich. I have to get to the kitchen.
Myra makes a quick exit. Aiden and Caiden get up and the three men turn to the door. As Aiden and Caiden flank Gordon, he places his arms around their shoulders as they leave.

Later, SHARKEY'S PLACE - NOON
MYRA is dishing up plates as fast as Sandra can pick them up.
KIRINI pours drinks. GORDON is seated at a table still shaken from the morning’s news. SANDRA has a moment to stop and take his order. 
GORDON I guess I’ll have the special. Something to take my mind off of Poseidon. Soup and sandwich, right?
SANDRA Well, yeah, but... 
GORDON A little bit of Myra’s home cooking will do this soul a world of good.
SANDRA Gordon, it’s ahh...
GORDON Yes …? 
SANDRA Eh… Something to drink? 
GORDON Coffee, please. Hot. Black.
Sandra swivels away and soon delivers food to a table and slides a ‘special’ onto Gordon’s table as he is in mid quaff of a pint of beer.
The bar door opens and in walks ETHAN, Myra’s son and his girlfriend, ISABEL.
This catches Sandra like a deer in headlights. She turns to the kitchen and on her way there hooks Kirini’s arm and drags her along.
Myra is dishing up plates for lunch. She notices that Kirini and Sandra are there, not talking or moving.
SANDRA She’s here.
KIRINI Who’s here?
SANDRA The witch. 
MYRA Which witch. 
SANDRA Your witch. Look.
They all peer out the kitchen door, one head above the other. 
They all see that Gordon is sobbing openly soup spoon in hand.
MYRA Ugh, that’s not pretty.
SANDRA By the jukebox, it’s your boy and …
MYRA The witch. 
Ethan and Isabel have stepped away from the door, arm in arm near the jukebox. Aiden and Caiden walk in. They don’t see any of the staff.
AIDEN Anyone working today?
Sandra exits the kitchen with a platter of food.
SANDRA Table six, fellas. Drinks coming up.
Sandra drops off the food at a table.
ETHAN Miss Sandra, is my mom around?
SANDRA Hello, Ethan. How are you? 
ETHAN Good, good. This is Isabel.
ISABEL Call me Bella.
SANDRA Bella, a Pleashahh.
ETHAN We’re going down to Cape Elizabeth to her folks’ place for Thanksgiving and I…
Isabel tugs his arm.
ETHAN ‘We’ , didn’t want to go without wishing Mom a Happy Thanksgiving.
SANDRA You caught us at our busiest right now, but I’ll let her know you’re here.
Sandra quick-walks past several tables including Aiden and Caiden holding up empty glasses trying to get her attention...
AIDEN Stahvin!
CAIDEN I got the Hungah!
SANDRA Shut up
She heads into the kitchen. Kirini is shaking Myra by the shoulders.
SANDRA We need drinks at all tables. Happy to have a reason to leave...
KIRINI On it.
Kirini lets go of Myra and leaves. Sandra takes her place.
SANDRA What’s wrong with you? It’s just a weekend at the girlfriend-in-laws. Be a grown up and let them wish you a happy holiday.
MYRA Okay! Ok, - ok..., No more specials leave the kitchen till I get back.
SANDRA No problem there.
Myra exits the kitchen wiping her hands on her towel.
Myra walks past table six and throws her towel down on Aiden and Caiden. Aiden grabs it and puts it to his face and then wears it around his neck. She passes Gordon who now shares his table with an almost age-appropriate lady. He is showing photographs. 
GORDON Ohhhh, here’s Poseidon and me watching ‘Finding Nemo’ !
Myra is now in front of Ethan.
ETHAN Mom!
They hug.
ISABEL Hi, Mrs. C. 
MYRA Hello, Bella.
ETHAN We wanted to stop by to say Happy Thanksgiving before we headed out. 
MYRA Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to you and to the Godspeed family, too. You’ll be back Sunday?
ETHAN Yeah. 
MYRA And you’ll call me when you get there? 
ETHAN Yeah. 
MYRA Ok., You know he’s allergic to walnuts.
ISABEL Yes, Mrs. C. 
MYRA And... and... and have fun. Okay?
Kirini and Sandra watch from the bar.
MYRA And call me when, you know, when you’re sittin’ down to dinnah and we’ll have a toast.
ETHAN Okay, Mom, will do. Love you.
Myra, Ethan and Bella have awkward hugs. Sandra tries to save the day.
SANDRA Two specials to table six!!
MYRA Look. I gotta go. We’re busy around lunch.
ETHAN Yeah, Mom. Happy Thanksgiving.
ISABEL Happy Thanksgiving, Mrs. C. I’ll take good care of him.
Bella adjusts his scarf and they turn and leave. As the door closes...
MYRA I bet you will.
Kirini Table Six!
Myra turns and heads back to the kitchen. As she passes Aiden and Caiden, she grabs the towel off of Aiden’s neck.
MYRA Two specials coming up, table six.
Gordon and his new friend get up and head for the door.

Next day - SHARKEY'S BARROOM - MORNING
Sandra, Kirini and Myra are having coffee, not moving too quickly. 
SANDRA I tell you, if I see one more slice of turkey, I’m gonna barf.
MYRA And save me from pumpkin anything.
KIRINI You said it.
They stare into the distance and sip their coffees.
KIRINI Hey, how was the Thanksgiving sleepover?
MYRA Sam was at his mother’s. What are you talking about?
SANDRA Ooh, good. You’re not talking about me. 
KIRINI With Ethan and the Godspeeds?
MYRA Ugh.
KIRINI What? 
MYRA Nothing, really... You know this was down in Cape Lizzy. So, kinda hoity-toity. 
KIRINI Yeah? 
MYRA Their house is freakin’ gorgeous. Ocean out front, forest in back - like you read about, right?
SANDRA It’s real nice there.
MYRA So, they’re all done with their ‘cocktails on the veranda’ and about to go inside for the big dinner and the hairiest man in Maine comes running out of the woods across their lawn - Starkers! With two state troopers in hot pursuit and they tackle the Sasquatch right there in front of three generations of Godspeeds and Ethan.
SANDRA Wally?
Kirini and Myra slow head turn to Sandra.
SANDRA Wally the Woodsman! They’ve been looking for him for years.
KIRINI Now I want to know more about YOUR story. 
SANDRA He was nice back then. Free spirit. 
MYRA Well, free no more. They nabbed him on Thanksgiving day with his giblets out for all the world... Ethan said the turkey was dry.
The door opens and Aiden and Caiden fall over each other, tumbling through the door. They quickly regain their feet, dust themselves off, slightly embarrassed but quickly look back to the door where Gordon, also slightly drunk, enters ceremoniously holding a blue lobster mounted on a plaque.
GORDON Kirini, I do hope you can find some place of honor on this wall for my dear friend. 
KIRINI I think I need to get these boys in some chairs.
Aiden and Caiden nod sheepishly.
KIRINI You know where to sit.
Aiden and Caiden take table six.
KIRINI Sandra, three coffees, please. Gordon, I’m, uh, honored you brought her here.
GORDON I would have it no other way.
Gordon leans in for a kiss. Kirini deftly ducks away. Gordon’s forward momentum delivers him to the empty chair at table six where three coffees have been delivered.
KIRINI I’ll have to make some room.
Kirini takes down a few autographed 8x10 photos of old customers. And hangs the plaque.
KIRINI Jeez, some of these people were dead before electricity.
Kirini hangs the plaque on the wall. She taps one of the portrait lights that buzzes to life illuminating the lobster.
GORDON Thank you, Kirini. Poseidon’s memory and eternal gaze shall be with us the rest of our days... To Poseidon.
All raise their coffees toward the plaque.
KIRINI To Poseidon.
END