Welcome to the commons cast. We're glad to have you here. We hope you find something meaningful in our teaching this week. Head to comm.church for more information.

Christmas is so full of busyness. We're shopping, and we're traveling, and we're baking, and we're preparing, but we are also anticipating. Preparing ourselves for the light that comes to find us in our darkest moments. And so today, we begin that journey toward the light together. However, if we are moving toward the light, that means we're still in the dark.

And so today, we begin feeling our way toward Christmas to talk about worry and anxiety. And for some of you, you know that feeling at Christmas all too well. For some of us, it is this story itself that invites us to feel the full range of emotion that we sometimes bottle up and put away. And so, I also want to invite you to join us on December 21 for a longest night of the year liturgy. We're gonna gather that evening for a very simple lament to acknowledge some of the hurt, and the pain, and the worry that comes with this season, and to express those feelings on our way toward the celebration of Christmas.

And so, that's available to you. You can find more information at commons.life. But today is Advent through the eyes of Joseph, and let's begin by praying together. God of Advent and arrival, we pray that today as we engage with likely familiar scriptures, perhaps very comfortable stories, that you would excite in us a sense of anticipation for your long expected son. Would you receive our prayers today as a commitment to participate in the story of renewal that your advent enlists us in every year?

As we read and listen, as we speak by your spirit, would we be drawn deeper into these well worn paths? And for those of us today who feel at a distance from Christmas already, perhaps like an outsider in this season. For those of us who are perhaps fearful of finding ourselves on the margins of this season. Would we see in Christmas this day, the story of divine welcome and embrace? And, where we come to know that regardless of history or perception or stigma or label, we are welcome to approach and to bring our full stories with us closer to you.

Come long expected Jesus. As we anticipate peace, help us to create it in our hearts and homes. Come long expected Jesus, as we anticipate joy, help us to serve with gladness and love. Come long expected Jesus, as we anticipate your presence with us. May we also seek to listen to the soft, the quiet voices that continue to reveal your loving heart for us.

In the name of Jesus, whose coming we await, we pray. Amen. Alright. This Advent, we are gonna tell the Christmas story through four sets of eyes that represent for us in some ways four different emotions. And today, we wanna focus specifically on Joseph's perspective on Christmas.

And, we're going to talk about bit players and betrothals, welcome each other's stories in, and finally recreation. But, I want to give old Jay a bit of focus here today because we can be honest about this. Joseph is kind of a bit player in this whole story. And, I mean, obviously, Jesus gets top billing. I can get behind that.

No argument there. He's the star of the story. Christmas star notwithstanding. And Mary, yeah. Okay.

She's key. No debate there. Theotakos is legit. But shepherds, really? I mean, how do they get more press than Joseph, the adoptive father of Jesus?

And sure, maybe I'm just touchy because I'm an adoptive father, but come on, even the wise men get a lot more press than dad does at this time of year. Let's be honest here. All they did was show up and drop off some gifts. They're like the grandparents of the Christmas story who just show up to spoil the kid and then sneak out once the tantrums start. Trust me, none of them had to discipline the son of God when he threw a tantrum.

That was Joseph. So, I think he deserves at least one week during Advent. Particularly early because it is his side of the story that in some ways opens us up to some of those feelings that we sometimes want to push away from at Christmas. Besides, Christmas is almost all we know of Jesus' adoptive dad. He doesn't really seem to be around by the time that Jesus begins his public ministry.

And at least by the time of Jesus death, there is a strong implication that Joseph has actually passed away. If you remember, from the cross, Jesus concerned about his mother asks his beloved disciple to make sure that he looks after her. That in itself seems important to pay attention to. Particularly, when Christmas is a time that many of us remember those we have lost. Imagine Jesus growing up, experiencing feasts and festivals and moments when everyone around him seemed to be celebrating.

Moments just like Christmas, and he was missing his dad. That's a poignant mirror into what a lot of us are experiencing right now in this season. And yet, in his brief appearance in the gospels, there is a profound sense of weight to Joseph's story that I think is worth talking about. And it begins in Matthew chapter one. So, this is reading from verse 18.

This is how the birth of Jesus, the Messiah came about. His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph, her husband was faithful to the law and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife Because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you are to give him the name Jesus.

Because he will save his people from their sins. All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet. The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and they will call him Emmanuel, which means God with us. Now, a few things here that you may be aware of, but they're important for the context. At the start of this section, we are told that Mary is pledged to be married to Joseph.

Sometimes, you'll read engaged here, depending on your translation. But then, we read that Joseph finds out she's pregnant and plans to divorce her. Well, the Greek word here is, which obviously is a lot of fun to say, but also it means betrothed technically. And the second word is apoluse, which means to unbind, but in this case, very specifically means to send away or to divorce her. And that pattern doesn't really line up for us.

In our culture, if you break off an engagement, you don't get divorced, you just I mean, you just don't get married. That however, was not the pattern in the first century. Marriage was essentially a three step process then. There was an engagement or sort of like a contract to be married. That was usually handled by the family or sometimes even a professional matchmaker that they hired.

So those of you who like to think you're Cupid here right now, you could have actually had a job doing that back then. That was a real thing. But next came the betrothal. And that is the stage that Joseph and Mary are at in our story. Once a couple was matched, and both had reached the age to be married, probably around 14 for a girl like Mary.

The couple would essentially agree to be married in the way that it was arranged for them. And by the way, yes, this is where the girl could by standard practice of the day, actually call off the engagement if she did not want to marry the man that her parents had chosen for her. Now, of course, there would have been all kinds of social pressure and complications. We should acknowledge that. But at least there was a chance to change things at this moment.

Still, if everyone agreed to move forward, a formal betrothal would begin and this would last for one full year. Now, during that time, the couple would live separately, each in the homes of their families, but they would legally be called husband and wife. And that's why at this point, the only way out is a divorce. And essentially, this system had been put in place for two main reasons. First, because something as important as a marriage could not be left to the vagaries of the human heart.

I mean, you can't just go around marrying anyone you happen to fall in love with on any given day. That's got to be planned. Now, we've changed a few things since then, and that's good thankfully. But don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back. I do think, however, this is a helpful reminder.

That for something as long term as marriage, emotion is only ever going to be one part of a very complex commitment we are making to each other. And that's worth remembering. But second, this betrothal pattern was used because the couple and even their families may not really know each other when the marriage contract is made. So there needed to be some kind of safeguard in place to prevent families from marrying off daughters who had become pregnant, but weren't showing it yet. So the Hebrew word for this betrothal was the Kedushin, which literally meant something like the sanctification.

That's exactly what it was. A period of sanctifying and preparing a couple for each other. So after a year of living separately, being called husband in life, there would be this big party in town. And all of the friends and family of the couple would gather them up and parade them to their new home, and then everyone would wait outside while the couple would go into quote, the seclusion room and quote, elevate the marriage. I mean, no pressure there.

That's some performance anxiety to talk about. All of that to explain that here in Matthew right now, Joseph and Mary find themselves very much in the betrothal period. Legally, husband and wife, but not sexually active. And so, Mary is found to be with child, that is exactly what the betrothal is designed to catch. And, it's a really big deal.

Not just because Joseph is broken hearted, although he probably was, But also because there are now legal implications here, a contract has been broken. And so, Joseph's response to this predicament is important. We read that Joseph faithful to the law plans to divorce her quietly. And what that's referencing is that Joseph has the option, the right to have Mary brought to the city gates where she would have been tried publicly. And he would receive what was called a get or essentially a public annulment of the marriage.

Now, is true that there were capital punishments for this type of situation outlined in Torah, but that really wasn't happening around the time of Jesus. What's more important here is that a public trial would have publicly absolved Joseph of any of the blame in this situation. Shifting all of the attention onto Mary. A quiet divorce on the other hand, that would have involved Joseph going directly to Mary's family and having them agree to the annulment. That however, would have invited all kinds of speculation and rumor and gossip and whisper about both of them.

So there's already a glimpse of Joseph's character on display here even in this small gesture. But again, the entire system of marriage at the time was specifically designed so that you can't hide this situation. Which has got to make you wonder about the whole rigmarole that God sets up here. Mean, if it was just about a virgin birth, it didn't need to happen this way with a woman pledged to be married. It almost seems like God has engineered this story intentionally to undermine our expectations of purity and value.

I mean, certainly, the purity that God valued in Mary had nothing to do with social expectations around sexuality, which is also why I find the words of the angels so fascinating here. All through Advent, we are going to find angels saying, do not be afraid. So shepherds terrified by angels are told not to be afraid. And Mary confronted with the invitation of an angel is told not to be afraid. Even her cousin Elizabeth and husband Zechariah, when they meet an angel, they likewise are told, do not be afraid.

But what fascinates me about all of these encounters is that the statements are so specific. They're not generic responses to the presence of an angel. They're actually tailored uniquely for each meeting with the divine. So, for example here, Elizabeth and Zechariah, they are told, do not be afraid, God has heard your prayers. So this is a childless couple advanced in age, a couple that has been praying for fertility for years and begun to think they have perhaps been forgotten.

And an angel appears at Christmas to say, do not be afraid that you've been left out. God has been listening all along. It's not just look angels are scary. I get it. So calm down.

It's do not be afraid as an entry point into something God wants to say specifically in that moment to that person. Which makes me think that perhaps it's my fear that sometimes gets in the way of my listening to God, but that's a whole other conversation. Look at what God wants to say to Joseph in this moment. It's verse 20. Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife.

Now, if you can. Your fiance comes home one day and says, listen, I have something to tell you. And, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for it all. It involves angels and the holy spirit and the salvation of the world. But, here's the thing, I'm pregnant.

Even if you love someone, truly, madly, and deeply all at the same time, thank you Savage Garden, that is going to be tough to swallow right now. Even if you get past it. And trust me, you can. There are people here with incredible stories of trust and forgiveness and reconciliation that would blow your mind. But even if you get over it in this circumstance, in this culture, at this time, to trust Mary is to sign up, to subject yourself to lateral shame, and ridicule, and speculation, and whisper, All that she was bound to endure specifically because of this whole betrothal period.

And so, for nice guy Joseph that wants to do this quietly, this is a lot to ask. And so when God shows up, the message isn't just do not be afraid, it's more pointed than that. It's don't be afraid to make her story yours. That is significant for me. See, I think there are times when God speaks into the situation that we have found ourselves in.

And God says, look, don't be afraid. I hear you. I'm with you. We'll face this together. This will not be the end of you.

You're in over your head, but we will get through this together. I promise. That is a good word to hear from God. But, that is not this situation. Because the truth is Joseph can walk if he wants to.

Joseph has a very public out he can choose. He can wash his hands and turn his back and start his life over. He can take all of the anxiety and the worry and the hurt and the mistrust that he's feeling right now and he can put that behind himself if he wants. And I'm not saying he can make it all disappear. That's not how it works for us, but he can choose to move on.

And that's precisely what he's contemplating in the moment the divine voice appears to say, don't be afraid to enter into this mess. To welcome the story of the one that you love with all its uncertainty and worry, and to make that very scary story yours. See, this angel is not just telling Joseph, look, it's crazy, I know, but she's telling you the truth, you can trust her. It's far more profound than that. It's a challenge for Joseph to enter into the scandal of Christmas.

Joseph, everyone you know will know something happened, but don't be afraid of that. Joseph, everyone you know will know that the betrothal period was breached, but don't worry about all that. Joseph, everyone that you look up to, they will either assume that a, she cheated on you or b, you broke the rules and you slept with her early. But don't let that stop you. Because Joseph son of David, what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit, and she will give birth to a son, and you will give him the name Jesus.

Because he will save his people from their sins. The message is, Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid because God's story is now Mary's story, and Mary's story is now your story, and your story is now the Christmas story because God has stepped into the scandal of the human story and said, this story is now all of ours together. And that is precisely what Christmas is about. That God would not be afraid to step into our story. That God would not fear the contamination of our scandals.

That God would refuse to turn God's back and stand on the sidelines watching us fail to grasp the goodness of the grace and goodness of the universe. And so, in asking Joseph to take Mary's scandal and make it his, God is demonstrating God's posture toward the world. And, look at what God does with all of those stories. The language here in Matthew says that, what is conceived in Mary is from the Holy Spirit. And as Christians, we have a particular take on those words.

Right? We have a concept of a triune God. God is father and his son and his spirit. And, each of those are active here in this story, which is a really beautiful entry point into the advent season. But in the Jewish understanding, the framework that Joseph would have had to hear and receive these words from the angel, the language of spirit was used in a different way.

It had three primary meanings. First, it was spirit that brought God's truth to the world. So the prophets were said to have been taught what to say and what to speak by spirit. Second, it was spirit that expressed God's creativity in the world. So spirit is said back in Genesis to hover over the waters of creation before anything but God was.

And finally, it was also spirit that made recreation possible in the Jewish imagination. So, in Ezekiel, the prophet sees this valley of dry bones and it's an image, a metaphor he uses for Israel. But then God says, I will put my holy spirit in you and you will live again. And in the image, the dry bones are pulled together and muscles and tendon and skin begins to grow around them and life returns to where there was none. So spirit is truth and creation and recreation.

That's what Joseph hears is present in Mary's womb. The point being that when Matthew records the angel saying, what is conceived in her is from the holy spirit. This is not just a statement about the mechanics of her pregnancy. I mean, it's about the virgin birth, but it's not only that. It's a statement that ties this pregnancy with the advent of truth and the creation of all that is and the recreation of everything that has been injured.

William Barclay says it this way. The essence of Matthew's story is that in the birth of Jesus, the spirit of God is operative as never before. Because it is spirit who brings God's truth to men and women and enables us to recognize it when we see it. It is spirit who was God's agent in the creation of the world and it is spirit alone who can recreate the human soul when the lost, the life we ought to have. So, Joseph is invited now to take Mary's scandal and make it his, And the angel implores him not to fear, not to let fear stop him from welcoming the outsider into his heart and home and life.

He is being invited in this moment in some adventurous way to participate in the creative and the recreative work of spirit that heals all things including himself. And here's the kicker, so are we every advent. Because, yes, Christmas is about gift, and the gifts that we buy, and the gifts that we give, and the gifts that we receive including the gift of the Christ child, of course. But Christmas is also about the gift of entering fearlessly into the messiness of each other's stories. To acknowledge our fears and our worries and our anxieties about being exposed, but then to exchange all of that for the opportunity to heal and to be healed by the goodness of God that comes to find us through each other.

Look, I'm not buying naive about this. I know that when we do this, things can go badly. And I know that the best of intentions can fall flat. I recognize that sometimes even when we do the right thing, we still get burned. And I know you've been hurt before and I know that it stings.

But the voice of God continues to say to each of us, do not be afraid to be vulnerable and open to invite someone else's story into yours because in the end, it's worth it. Truth is, we know very little about what it cost Joseph to be faithful in this moment. To endure the whispers and the innuendo about an unfaithful wife. To embrace Mary and this child and all of this responsibility that he didn't ask for. To choose compassion and trust over respectability and comfort.

But the first invitation of Christmas is to expand the borders of our story to include those we might not have otherwise welcomed in. And then to trust that when we do, when we intentionally invite someone over who's lonely, or when we help someone who has been hit differently by shifts in the economy, or when we encounter someone who we know is struggling with something they have tried very hard to keep hidden, but we've seen it because we've experienced it and we know how scary that is. And so, we choose to step into their story with grace and support rather than watch from the sidelines. When we do any of these things in a thousand small ways, Christmas is the reminder that we are partnering with God's healing work in the world. Because this too is Advent.

The coming of the Christ into our lives that compels us next to step into each others. And it will be hard, and it will be embarrassing and awkward, and it will probably fill you with anxiety. It might invite whispers, but it will almost assuredly surprise us in ways that you and I can't even imagine right now. Because that's what Christmas invites us to bring home if we're not afraid. Stories that surround us, even the stories that scare us.

But the stories that will add something incredible to our story if we try. Let's pray. God of advent and arrival, who continues to come into our lives in new ways every year. Who invites us to take that model and to live it out. To welcome the scandal and the mess of those near us.

The stories that we could if we choose to to walk away from and turn our back on, but to invite them somewhere deeply into our lives and our hearts. To open ourselves in vulnerable ways knowing that we could be hurt, but trusting that when we do, we express something of your grace and healing in the world. God, might we come to believe that when we choose to engage with grace and peace, we are in some way repaired ourselves and made more like the Christ who comes to find us. God, this Advent season, may we open ourselves to the stories, the messes, the scary scandals around us, and to do it all with the grace you offer to us. In the name of the one we are waiting for, we pray.

Amen.