A year and a half ago, we risked it all and moved to France. We'll
be sharing about our life abroad, how people could do hard things to transform
their own lives and everything in between. This is Sophie and
Jordan Epton. Welcome to the Away We Go We Go podcast.
It is Sunday night. We have been with our kids for two
days and we are officially recording with the
last moments of the weekend. Welcome to another episode of
the Away We Go We Go podcast.
I always, I always feel like we are having
to, you know, when you have kids, you're always finding these little pockets
to record, but it's, you know, it's making us very sharp and I'm very
excited to be back with the love of my life recording
After several weeks of not being able to do this together with all the
travel and the craziness and also just excited to talk
about, to catch up and talk about our
fun little show we have today. So how are you, my love?
You just like completely characterized like my physical feeling through
that like intro. I'm just like, yeah, it is
the end of a, of a very fun but very
hectic weekend. It's like, let's cram this in and
also get good sleep tonight.
But I promise we're not fully cramming in. They'll be good, they'll be good content.
So, so yeah, it's been, it's been wild.
We haven't yet had a chance to, we've had, you know, some guests on, we've
done some solo podcasts, but we're back here today because
if you didn't know, it is now officially
fontaine in France. Actually it was a couple weeks ago, but it's
the start of September and it is one of my favorite times
of the year. As someone who I have made no
bones about it, I've been very honest, that summer in Europe,
specifically in the south of France where I live, is my
least favorite time of year to be here. It is hot, it's
crowded and is expensive, um, and
everyone's everywhere. So what's so cool is that
at the beginning of September, it's like a complete reset for France
because it's a time where, you know, all everyone comes back
from their month long, plus vacations, people are starting
to work again, kids go back to school and everything is
open and you just feel like there's this energy cuz everything is back into the
swing of things. Like you're, you know, you aren't going to have all these stores
that are closed. It's, you can find Everything you need. It's. It's the best.
But I feel like it's also just, like, a very
refreshing time because it's shoulder season,
which means that the weather is so much better.
We're trading in the brutal heat for actual,
like, crisp nights, like you and I have. What had to. I think there's been
a couple nights now where we had to close our windows because it's too
cold at night, and I'm like, where are we right now? I love the idea
of it being too cold at night. And Sophie,
like, emphasis on Sophie, loves her shoulder
seasons. The weather, the timing. She always talks about
how that's always the best time to visit. It is. It is. So it's like,
you know, like, all the vines are, like, lush with grapes that are about to
be picked. Yeah, it looks awesome. It does. It looks amazing. And,
like, the. You know, it'll be soon. Like, the leaves will be starting to change,
and it's just. It's just so fun to think about, too. Like,
in a couple months, we're going to transition into the holidays here, which is so
beautiful. It's just. It's just such a sweet time of year. But it's also,
you know, crazy, too, because everyone's trying to get everything done, but
we have so much to catch up on, like, together and
with the audience. So I know that the last
solo podcast episode I had, I talked all about my time
in Florence and how incredible it was and how
transformative it was for my own life. But I have to
say, what was so wild is that being in
Italy, which I missed. I missed you desperately, by the way.
I missed you so much. Are you talking to me or are you talking to
Italy? I'm
definitely talking to you, but that's cute.
But it was wild because every other time that I have been back
to Italy, since I studied abroad, has been with Jordan. Yeah,
we were together every other. Every other time. So this was the first time I
really went back by myself then also, like,
literally to the place that I was at 18 years ago.
And it was. It almost felt like life changing
all over again in a different way. That's super cool. Yeah, I mean, it
really was. So I. I was part of a incredible retreat.
And I'll link it in in the show notes if you want to
learn more. It was amazing, but it was,
like, just everything from being in Tuscany to, like. I
mean, we had. We got really lucky with the weather. It was beautiful weather,
being able to go back to Florence for a day, and it was wild
because Everywhere that I walked, I still remembered it, like, the back of my
hand, like, walking. That's so cool. That had to feel, like,
really fun. Yeah. Where you're just like. Again, as
we've talked about moving somewhere new where you don't know where to go.
Like, you just being able to, like, know. Oh, yeah, I can just turn on
that street and go, I know. Here, like, that's. I. I honestly
wasn't. I mean, it's like, I know I still know how the city, like, in
my mind, I still know how the city is set up, but, like, to actually
be in it and be like, oh, I know how to get from here to
here to here, no problem. I literally don't even have to look at a map.
Like, I just. I. Now that I'm here, I know exactly where I need to
be. Like, that was. That was amazing. And then, I
mean, I know that so many people talk about this, but it is.
Here's the thing that's so wild is, like, when we
first. Okay, so I'm back when we first moved to France, I think you and
I thought that we were going to, like, drop all of this weight immediately because
we would be walking so much. But I think
it's not. Like, we, like, gained a bunch of weight, but we definitely didn't, like,
lose any. I went through a couple little trampoline
bounces. There I was, you know, testing out
all of the different patisserie and all of the different.
Yeah. Petty fours and treats. But, yeah, but I think it's. Yeah, it's because it's
like you're eating croissants or you're eating pastries,
or there's, you know, there's cream and there's butter. My mouth is
watering. Like, what do you want for me? Like, what am I supposed to do?
I'm only one man. It's. I mean,
it's. But. But the funny part is, is that Italy is somewhere where
you can eat pasta and pizza
and drink wine, and that's like, all we were doing for a week.
And I am telling you, I put my clothes on, like,
the last day, thinking I was going to be like,
everything was. Be really tight, it was loose. And I don't.
I don't own a scale. So, like, I don't know if I lost weight,
but I felt completely like I lost weight, which was crazy. It's just the food
is so fresh there. Like, like. And we had the most incredible
spreads of food. Like, and a lot of, like, vegetables, which isn't. You don't find
that everywhere in Italy, but it just. It's like olive oil and fresh
tomatoes and basil and vegetables and like, really good
meats. And it just. I mean, France is known for its butter. So,
yeah, everything's got butter. Everything becomes a cream. And honestly, like, I think
I'm. I'm torn because I love the French
butter. There's, like, nothing better than a French salted butter. But, like,
I felt so good. I think I'm just going to start cooking with a lot
more olive oil again. But anyways, all that to say
it was incredible. I felt. I just. I'm like,
I'm longing to kind of be back in Italy as
soon as possible for a trip. So we. We'll figure that out, I think,
sooner. Well, the other cool thing was like, you know, when. Not to
rub it in, of course, but, like, when everybody left the retreat, they had their
7, 8, 9 hour flights home and you had an hour flight home. And
yeah, that was so true, too. I really brought it home for me
and made it very real. I think when I go on
trips like these and I come back, that's when I really
feel like, okay, I live in France because it took me. It was an hour
flight from Rome back to Marseille. So it.
And I'm like, okay, this is like, you know, pretty much as easy as it
gets. And that's again, one of the reasons we moved here. So. Yeah.
It was amazing. Those are like the win moments where you're like, oh,
yeah, okay. I'm glad that we did this. Yeah. Because there's. There's
a lot on both sides of that, like, in both columns.
But that's definitely a good one. I get that when I've had some work
trips and I come back and I'm like, oh, this is so easy to get
back to where I live. Yeah. Yeah. In
comparison. And so those are definitely ones for the win
category, which is like, okay, this was part of the reason
why we were so inspired to do the hard
things was because we knew that we had access to
this. And that's really cool. Yeah. Yeah.
So that was. That was like a major. Just like at the perfect way for
me to start my crazy season. And speaking
of crazy And while Sophie was, was having
this lovely week of
connecting back to her youth and all these things, the
twins started school. A new school in a new
place. It was their re entry. Jordan.
I mean, I give all the props to him because he is
just the most incredible dad in the whole world. I just have to, like, shout
you out. You, yeah, you
like wrangled those feral beasts for a week
and all by yourself. I mean, you had some help from the new news, but
pretty much by yourself. And I can't
thank you enough. Yeah, of course. I mean there's, there's a lot of,
a lot of stuff with that. And one is like, you
did really deserve that trip, so
it wasn't that hard. The other thing is also like, for me, I'm kind of
like a, it's not that serious kind of guy. I know.
So I just don't give a. I'm like, you know, we showed up late the
first day and I came late to pick up the first day and they're like,
this isn't how it's supposed to go. I'm like, I have two 3 year olds
at the same time. This is our first time here. What do you want from
me? Like, I don't care about that. Well, but like all that to say.
So if you're, if you're new to the podcast, you're a new
listener. If you go back. There was a point this year where we were
trying to figure out where the kids should go to school and we were really
debating between, you know, do we put them in a school that's
like local, that's public, or do we put them in more something
that's like private and international. And we did decide to go
the international route. So it is like it, it's a cost to
us every month, but I'm telling you, like two weeks in,
we are all so happy. I mean, besides the commute, which is
definitely killing us a little bit. But it's just a new schedule. It's just something
new we have to get used to because it's definitely like when I go, I
leave to pick them up at 3:30 and we don't get back till 5:30 at
night. And I think the same thing goes for you when you leave. So it's
like a two hour commitment essentially because just it should only take
15 minutes to drive there. But with traffic, it's just, it's traffic.
And then like, you know, where we park the car and walking in the car
and then coming back, all of that kind of stuff.
But yeah, I think we, we weighed out what was important to
us about going the public school route or going the
private international school route. And we've actually talked about it in another podcast where
like we've connected with people here that have these like
lifelong friends because they lived abroad and
their kids grew up going to an international school. Together. We just thought it was,
like, the coolest thing. And we've already met
families from, like,
all. All different countries. There's, you know, people from
the Netherlands and from Spain, Italy and people
that came from China and, like,
in the UK and just like. And we haven't even
met everybody. Oh, no. I feel like we barely scratched the surface. Yeah.
And it's just like, we were really excited about that because everybody's in
it. Not everybody, but a lot of people are in a similar situation that we
are. Some people, like, even more
aggressive than our situation. Like, three
kids moved two weeks ago from somewhere in North
America and, like, just
literally, like, made it happen in a quick decision. Right. And it's
just. It's very cool to, like, be in
the mix with people that are, like, feeling.
Yeah. Feeling. Feeling what we're going through.
No. So, I mean, yeah, it's. It's. I love the teachers.
I love the vibe so far. And like, most importantly, like, the kids are coming
home and they are loving it. Like, we. We
talked about, I think recently, so we had. We put them into. Because there's, like,
there was one month this summer where they went to the creche
dte, which is their summer daycare. And let's just say London is
a bit particular. She's kind of already. The
girl can read the room. She can read the room. And she was just like,
I do not like this at all. And I said, I know. I said, it's
not my favorite either. It's just for a month. It's just kind of interim,
but, like, you're going to love where we go. And so she
has been loving it. Like, she's coming. Like when we told them,
you know, tonight, like, tucking them into bed, you know, we're going
back to school tomorrow. And they were like, hey. So it's just., it's very cool.
Like, we feel like we made the right decision. We're just gonna have to
get. Get over this commute situation. Yeah. But
the. The other cool thing I think that we've kind of experienced is, like, meeting
other people that are, like, feeling the same thing. Have, like, been living here
for a couple years or way less. It just is like
a. This is like a brand new you are not
alone situation for us. Yes.
Yes. And I think that was like, one of the whole reasons why we started
this podcast, other than, like, love letter to the twins and documenting the experience. It
was like, you're doing hard things. You're not alone. There's a lot of
other people doing them. And those are the people that we're trying to meet
and talk to and bring to this. Like, people are
inspired and doing all sorts of like, really
hard stuff. So again, wherever you're at in your journey
of, you know, being inspired, of having moved in the process
of moving about to move or just thinking about
just it keeps coming in waves where you keep having these experiences where you like,
meet people and you're like, oh, yeah, okay, I don't have to
feel so isolated and crazy. I'm not, I'm not alone in this. I'm not crazy.
People that are feeling the same thing and it just normalizes a bit
and makes it a little bit easier to swallow
from that. So I think that's been a very cool, humbling
and approachable experience of them starting the new school for sure.
So we'll, we'll keep you guys updated on all of that. But so far,
like we're loving it. So, we, we have,
yeah, lots of what a very busy six weeks ahead of
us. Travel, you know, just everything with their school.
But we will, we'll keep updating you as we also have
some fun. Some more guest podcasts coming up as
well, but I wanted to kind of get
into what we were going to talk about today, which is
if you, if you know, you know, with the, with the title
the Summer I Turn Expat. If you don't know,
you're going to learn all about it today. So he's going to give you the
rundown just like she gave me the rundown to get
me involved in this in the first place.
So if you have been living under a rock. Just kidding. But
there is a major cultural phenomenon happening
right now and it is called "The Summer I Turned Pretty".
So for all the listeners who don't know this show, highly
recommend that you get on it with Amazon prime
and download it and watch. It's just three seasons based
on three books, but this show is,
I'm telling. You, it's, it's stirring up people's
emotions. Not only that, but I think
it's. When I say that it's been a cultural phenomenon,
everyone from boomer dads living
in America to young pre teen
girls in Europe and beyond are watching this show. There
is something about it because it's kind of a very
like, I mean it kind of reminds me which is what, you know, it's a
little bit based on is the old movie Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn where it's,
there's like romance, there's, you know, kind of a
love tryst with two brothers. But the whole thing, essentially, it
makes you feel nostalgic, I think, for a time in your life
where things were slightly more simple, I
think. I. I don't know, it just. There's. But it's hits a nerve
across, you know, everyone,
globally. And so, like I said, if you haven't watched it, please,
like, do yourself a favor and. And go watch this. But it's
supposed to. The series finale is supposed to be next week,
but what was really fun is that in the past week, I thought
it'd be amazing to do an episode that kind of coincides with this,
because I'm not trying to. It's a little bit of a spoiler alert here, but
the main character, Belly, ends up going to live in Paris.
And it was really wild watching this show and
this whole episode of her, like, kind of figuring out her footing probably the
first seven or eight months that she's living there, because there were a
lot of things that we felt like there were parallels
to what we experienced when we
first moved to the south of France. It was really interesting to watch because even
though she was in Paris, we were just like, a lot of these different,
like, moments that she was experiencing were like, oh,
yeah, totally. And then other ones where
you're like, is that tv? Right. So we thought it'd be. And. And the
reason, too, we. We thought this would be really cool for everyone is because
I think there's. A lot of times there's a show or a
movie that people see or something,
but it. But it inspires you to want to potentially move
somewhere else. And I think what's important is to kind of
call out, like, what is realistic from,
you know, things like this and also, like, there was a branch of bulllshit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, what things
are really like, because, you know, around here, we always keep it real.
Try to at least.
So for those who have not seen
any of this, again, I don't want to give away the plot line because you
need to, like, watch the whole thing. But essentially, there's
a lot that happens in Belly's life, and
romantically. And so she ends, by the way. Her name is Isabel. Isabel, but everyone
calls her Belly. I just feel like it's a. Yeah.
Important to call that out. Yes. But so she.
So she has always wanted to go to Paris. And then I think as she's
trying to find herself again, she ends up there.
And it's. I think it's, you know, really, really important
to show kind of I think again, going back to like, even
the episode where I talked about living in Tuscany, I think it's really cool to
think about how travel shapes you and all those things. So I thought. I just
thought it was such a great episode. And again, it was. We'll just, we'll
get. We'll get all into it. So there's
definitely a TV magic versus reality
check of. Of what this episode is all about. So
for anyone who also has been watching and like, is
wondering what's realistic, there's definitely some things that
are, are not. But there's definitely some things
that I felt like they did really, really well. So I kind of
wanted to. Do you want to do a little like, true or faux segment
about what are some of the things we thought like, were really good? Yeah,
yeah. Let's hit the options. Okay.
So there is a point where when Belly first
moves to Paris, and again, mind you, she is young and
she's single, but she ends up moving into an apartment
with several roommates. And I felt like
that was very accurate to. It's like, if
you're going to move to Paris, it is like people ask all the time, like,
is Paris just as expensive as the south of France? I said
it is so much more expensive. It's crazy.
Crazy. Like, I mean, it's comparative to,
you know, probably what, somewhat like New York. Don't know. But
it's expensive. And we have a friend who just started an
internship there and is in a very similar
situation. Like she moved in with I. It might
be like three or four other people. Belly moved in with three other people.
Slightly different because our friend moved in. They're all like,
in housing that is tied to this internship.
So I don't think the like,
personalities are as drastic. But in the
show she's with like a normal chick
and then an. And then like a gross, total weirdo.
Yeah. And like, But
I think what was like, coming out of all of their
personalities in a situation like that, you're like, eh, yeah, I'm buying
that. I buy that. That's. That seems absolutely. And also just the fact
that they're just everything. They sort. They're
sort of like turning their nose up at. Or they're a little bit more
reserved about. Because we talk about this all the time. Like, you have to.
With a French person, it takes so much time. You have to
crack them open. But then once you're finally in, like, it's, you know,
it's. It's like, it's like a hard candy shell. And a soft
gooey middle. Like it's just. But it takes a while. So just,
I just thought, yeah, that's just really funny. Well, and, and like quick like
actual difference. Like this weekend I,
I had a friend from, from Austin actually.
Her and her husband celebrating their 10 year anniversary, flew out because
they had gotten married in Paris and literally like just
decided to pop down south. Messaged me, hey, we're going to be in Marseille, we're
going to Cassis for literally 24 hours. I was like
great and drove down to meet him. I had never met her husband
before for various reasons. But if we've known about each other for
like years, like instantly like hugging each other, like,
what's up best friends? Like that never happens. No. Ever
here? No. Like even if I know somebody
through somebody, it's still like,
I don't know, like a New Yorker cartoon where we're like bowing and shaking
hands or some. There's like a giant gap between us and it's like, how
long till I get a hug, man? Yeah. Someone asked me recently, one of the
things I missed the most from, from living in the U. S And I said
just everyone giving big bear hugs because you
know, a 20 second hug. You married a hugger, dude. Yeah, well, that
too. But a 20 second hug will literally change your brain chemistry. They've proven
it. So, so, so anyway, so it's just, it's just funny though. I feel like
that part was accurate. But the, but the part actually that is not accurate is
she ends up moving. If you've seen the episode, she ends up moving into another
apartment that's by herself that's right near the
Sacra Coeur and it's like a beautiful apartment. I'm thinking
unless for some reason they have like some major rent control,
like there is no way, no chance, no chance that she would be
able to afford that. Being like in her early 20s, that. Felt a little
TV like you're looking at like how do the girls and friends of
afford this like crazy apartment forever? It's like that kind of feeling.
But I will say that what is
more common is getting things because you know
somebody. For sure, that's a really good point. She had got it
like from a friend who is moving out for whatever reason and
she's like, I'd hate to see this go to somebody else. Would you want it?
So like I do think there is that because like even
being here when we were looking for parking, people were like, oh yeah, just
print out a photo of your family and put your phone Number and blah, blah,
blah, and just shove it in people's mailboxes. Otherwise, you're just
gonna have to, like, find somebody, you know, I'm like, what? I know.
That's crazy. Yeah. Just, you know, just
different things. One of the other things that we thought was really
interesting or like, something to point out kind of felt more like
a foe was, you know, she ends up
moving there thinking that she's going to get a student visa, but she
hasn't even gotten the visa yet. And so when she. Essentially,
everything falls apart for her there. Like, with her whole plan,
she's having to work under the table while she gets her visa.
And, like, I've heard from French people that they
know a lot of people that do that here, where they just are here without
a visa. But let me tell you, we do
not recommend. We do not, like, 0 out of 10, 0% recommend
this. Like, that is so scary to think about. If
you were ever caught, which we have, like, there's one person I heard from,
a friend of a friend, had lived here for, like,
15 years. Like, had followed a guy, lived here for
15 years without a visa. But
then when she was in Amsterdam, of all places, because they're really strict, even though
they're part of the eu, they busted her, and she got in big
trouble. And so all I would say is, be
legal, get your visa, stay good with the French government.
Like, especially if you integrity your bum.
Because it's just. That's something that personally, like, I just don't ever
want people to romanticize in any way. Like, it's such a pain
in the ass. As we know, we've talked about a. Lot of visa
options, so it's not like. Yes, there's. There's a decent amount,
like, oh, well. It's so hard to figure out how to do it.
Like, it's not like. I mean, all the bureaucracy is tough, but it's not
like it's that hard. So just do it.
Yeah, just. I would say just do it the right way, especially if you want
to be here long term. Like, you want to be good. You want to stay
good with the French government. So really quickly, because we were talking about the
moving conditions, I do want to just jump back really quickly because
I do very distinctly remember being triggered
in one part, triggered for a funny reason.
In the episode, there are, like, multiple times
where Belly has to deal with a leak in the apartment. Oh,
yes. And they're like, oh, there's a leak in the bathroom. And then they see
another leak, like in the room is like coming from the like hand
carved crown molding or whatever. And like I'm staring at that,
like accurate, accurate. No, I don't like this.
Like our first apartment when we moved here in July,
it was very dry. Maybe it, it was like two, three weeks
later maybe and we had a torrential
downpour and not there was,
I think that first one, there was one part in our like add
on sunroom. It was just like running water was running down
the wall. And then in our laundry room it was running all. It was
coming through like the skylight that was in there and it was like dripping in
there and it was like this filthy water got all over our
clothes, was so nasty. And the next time
it rained there was another place where the water came in and we
had to like hound our landlord about it. But I was like watching that and
I was like, oh my God, very accurate.
Well, it's. I'm not. Yeah, we're not saying that every apartment is going to
leak. Like. Yeah, but they probably do. I'm just kidding. Our current one doesn't. Our
current one's amazing. But it's. It funny. This is why,
I mean, when we knew when we moved that this was not going to be
our forever apartment, especially once it started to leak, we were like,
okay, it's officially really time to like research
and find something else. So, yeah,
that's really funny. I feel like when you told me about that I had like
blocked it out and I remembered it all over again. I was, I just remember
having to deal with it and then seeing that I was like, oh, no,
no. I felt really bad for them when. They say when it
rains it pours, like. Yeah.
So when the episode though I do think they did
quite a few things that are very
accurate to the French culture. So one of them was
she had been told that she could be part of.
Essentially she had a place at this university
and when she came to actually talk to
the register there, this woman said,
oh yeah, you're not, you're not registered. Like whoever you talk to
screwed it up. And so of course she just said "C'est pas possible",
which is so accurate. Like
it's impossible. I'm sorry, it's impossible. Yeah, that is
that. Now that is so that's something to always know. Always.
Is that French people, it is part of their
culture. They do not generally step out of their lanes a
lot when it comes to like what they're doing, what they're supporting, where they're
working, all of those things. So they will always come at you
with papus, which not possible. And so it is
your job to stand your ground and to
not. I wouldn't say fight back, but to stand your ground,
be strong. They like a good argument. So, you know. Yeah, and. And tell
them, you know, if this. If this doesn't work one way, we're going to
figure out a different way that it's going to work. If you're telling me the.
The door is closed, I'm going to figure out a window to open, a chimney
to climb through. Like, we are figuring this out. But it was. It was also.
And. And our French friends say this all the time. It was very French that,
like, one guy told her, oh, we have a spot for you. And then she
was like, well, you didn't update this document. And it's like,
you're not on the cloud. You're running university. We're living in the 90s.
Like, where did he write What? Yeah, what? Spreadsheet by hand.
Write this down on that. It didn't get transferred to anybody else. And he was
like, oh, yeah, no problem. And then that's when she was like, but this dude
told me I had a spot. She's like, it, papus, it's not possible. Like,
I, you know, she was like, yelling at the dude, but still not helping her,
and we're just like, oof, totally.
Yeah. Yeah. So the
other thing that I thought was so, so accurate
and it rang so, so true for me, and I know you too,
was that, yeah, every. Well, it's. Because it's. Our everyday reality is
just the language barrier and how she would
try her hardest. And every time that she had to say
something. And this is also Belly had in the show, she
studies French for years before she actually lives in Paris. I forgot
that. Yeah. And. But even for her, it's so
different, I think, when you take it in school versus, like, conversationally when you get
there. But so every time she's about
to say something, she says it in her head first and then speaks it,
and then they still end up in Paris, for sure. Like, speaking back to her
in English. And I resonated with
this so much because I would say now,
at this point, because we've been here for two years, like, there's definitely a lot
of phrases and certain things if I'm saying it over and over and over again,
like, I don't think have to think about it, I just say it.
But there's so many times, especially like, if we're meeting with, like, A
doctor for Luca or there's just like a different. It's like
out of our wheelhouse of like the normal vocabulary that we use.
I mean, the amount of times that I am still looking on my Google
Translate and saying in my head what I'm going to say before I say it
to make sure it's like the right, you know, like
sentence structure and verb tense and like all these different
things. And I still sometimes end up sounding like a total idiot.
But it's. The accuracy of
that is incredible because it is so true.
I, I talked about this in my solo episode about
my experience in Argentina. Same thing. Studied Spanish, got down
there, couldn't do anything. But I mean, even now, like
if I'm walking down the street going shopping, like
both, I'll, I'll practice and rehearse, I'll have full on conversations in my head.
I probably do that anyways because I'm a little crazy. But when I have a
phone call that I have to make to like ask for something, I
will Google translate the first sentence and then
I'll Google translate a few follow ups because I'm role playing what
they might say or ask for exactly. So that I can then like
further explain in more detail in different words what I'm trying
to do. So I have like a few options, praying that
they're like, okay because I'll understand that. And if they like
ask for further clarification, like, I'm out. And like, I'm sorry, that's
all I got. So I thought, yeah, a lot of her
experiences where she was trying to say things in
French and she was like, you could see like her facial expression when
she was like, she knew she wasn't saying it perfectly and some
people were being really nice. But then like people would respond back in English. And
like you also go through these like phases where like
that goes from like offending you to not offending you at all to
then offending you again to not offending you where you're
like, at first you're like, hey, I'm
speaking French. Why, why are you speaking French back? And then you're like, actually I
don't understand it when you do speak French back. So it's totally okay that you
go to English. Then I feel like I'm getting better.
You're still speaking back to me in English to.
Honestly, I don't even give a, like whatever. Like speak to me in
English. When you don't, you don't. And I'll just clock it then.
So it's, it's definitely an emotional roller coaster with, like, your confidence
and going through that. But that was a very accurate depiction. I know.
I loved that. So, I mean, kind of when I think about
this episode and I think about our first summer in France, and I kind of
flash back to the summer of 2023 and, like,
how it really felt for us to arrive in France. The. The summer
return expat. I will never
forget because, you know, we've traveled to France, traveled to Europe
so many different times, and it's like there is when you
land for a vacation, and, you know, you are
so excited. You're thinking about all the things you're going to do. I will never
forget what it was like when we had taken our
flight with our family, had landed in Paris, and I remember
we had a car come and pick us up and,
you know, to take us into the city. And it felt
like every emotion you could feel, it was excitement. It was, like,
extreme overwhelm. It was a lot
of nervousness. And I think overall it just felt very real and, like,
I would say slightly heavy because it just. It felt
so monumental that, okay, like, we have literally
burned the boats and we are here, and,
like, we're making this happen. Yeah, I
remember that, and I. I do remember it very distinctly. Feeling different. And
it. I think for me, probably because
I'm a little bit less planned and a little bit more fly by the seat
of my pants, it was a lot of excitement for me. I didn't. I,
like, I process way more slowly than you. Well, sure. And I did all the
paperwork, too, so. You did all the paperwork, too. Let's make sure
that's recorded, huh? But you did, like, seriously, Sophie
worked your ass off and was so organized. And, like, if you
watch Parks and Rec, Leslie no Has, like, color coded tabs for
everything. Sophie absolutely had that. It was amazing, which is why our visa
process was so smooth. So thank you for that. But
I just remember landing being like, whoa, this is like,
I don't have a return flight. Yeah. So
I'm like, here. And it just felt different, and it was really
cool. But my confusion and
overwhelm definitely sank in a few days
later. Also, well, I think at first, like, days or weeks, it's like, oh,
my gosh, we're in this new place, we're figuring things out. Everything's hard, hard,
but we're like, we're excited. But then I think it's also
like, you know, you really start to feel the
culture shock of it, and especially just with
French culture. And just how their systems are like truly. I
mean I know we've said this before, but it is to this day and it
was especially shocking when we moved. Like we knew, we, of course we knew
that the culture's slower, everything moves slower. But I think
it was still like for us just being
really like, you know, being put into the deep end of
how incredibly slow it can be here and how people are just really
not willing to go out of their way to help you out until of course
you break that crusty exterior. But that takes a long time.
So until then it's like you feel. There's
definitely like a very isolating feeling because
I think, you know, if maybe you were somewhere going to like Spain or
Italy. And again this is nothing against the French people because they truly like we've,
when we'll talk more about this, like they're really lovely but it's just a
different kind of immediate warmth that is lacking
here that I think it's like when you first are moving to a new place
and you're like, you know, so excited but so nervous and you need
someone to kind of extend that arm to you. Like it's
not, it just doesn't exist as much here. So
again if it does, it's just slower. Right. Well and that, that's the point.
It's, it's not right away, it's slower. It's not to say
that like, nobody's ever going to help you with anything immediately. Like
we definitely had tons of help from people being super sweet
but it's also like
it's very short lived and
yeah, it's just, it's just tricky. So I think that was. Yeah.
Very relevant. And I think the other thing that when I
think about like the overwhelm of everything that we had to do and
the reason we always said like we were really buried for, you know, those
first months was because I always talk about the French love paper.
And so everything that we did revolved around
paper. I was so. I was like, I can't wait for something just to come
in electronically so I don't have to sign. The more thing
like I am the like it's all crushed up in the
bottom. I'm a backpack type kid. Like don't give me paper.
I am hardly a responsible adult. I know you're giving me shout out
for doing a great job taking care of the kids and I kept them alive.
But like that's just like eating and bathing and dressing. Like those are
normal things that I have to do for myself. Just doing it for a couple
extra little mini people. But the responsible adult things like
keeping papers crisp and not like crushed up or leaving
them. I literally like, I got paperwork
from like the warranty information for
some of our appliances. When I went to the store, put them in
my back pocket, forgot about them, wash the shorts, that shit's gone.
Like that's me. This is, I know. Well,
this is why we have me and I keep everything organized. That's why I'm so
lucky there. But it was so, so overwhelming because it's like everything
from like us learning. We have to have this special book for the babies
to go to all their doctor's appointments which because they would write in paper,
you know, everything that we had to do and buy
like I swear requires a dossier which is like this, you know,
whole like physical paper binder which talks about all
your finances to like get credits or to be able to buy something
or you know, get a loan or whatever. It is like business.
There's just, there's paper. People were asking me, they're like, you know, your business
card, can I have your business card? Business card, Business
card. What do you. Is this 1992? Like what is happening here?
So it's just, it's just really, really funny. So I think it's just,
just knowing that like things. And again this is the beauty of it too. It
just, it feels so incredible in a different way here
because people are not going to be like betrothed
into the fast paced culture of somewhere like
the US but it. That also comes with them doing things, you know, in
an old fashioned way. So. And you
know, again like just being here the first summer and
like trying to make friends and find community, like
it just. You just need to give yourself grace because I mean for
us, and again we moved here with kids so it
is a different vibe for sure. But it
does take longer than you think. I think no matter what,
especially when you're moving to a foreign country. But what I
will say is that, I mean, don't you feel this way that now after two
years of going to the same places, like seeing the same people,
expanding our circle, like we've really cracked this open a lot more.
I totally agree. I think the one asterisk I'll throw in there is
that it is really easy to meet people when you travel
and when you move. But travel
inherently is very like there's people
are transient so you'll very easily
meet awesome people. I, I remember I met this
super cool couple American guy, French girl. But they
were from LA because of his work situation. They were here for like
11 months. And I met him like at
month 10 and a half. And like, we became friends
so quickly that of the people they invited to their
little going away picnic, we and the twins were
invited. Like, this was in two weeks that we
already, like, became really good friends just from, like seeing them
regularly and being there. It was, it's so easy
to meet people, but you're
on like the end trail for somebody else when you just got
there. Kind of things that happens all the time
versus more permanent people,
like just the. The mentality and the lifestyle is different. If
you're only planning to stay, sir, for a certain
amount of time, it's more likely that you're gonna, like, every
weekend be adventuring. I mean, you did this when you studied
abroad. You had, you know, like five, six months that you were living abroad and
you're like, I am not wasting a moment. Like every weekend,
to the extent we can afford it, I am going to take advantage of this
experience and opportunity as best as I can. Versus
when you're like, I'm doing life
there. Made it sound like it was prison. It's not.
You are having to figure out, like, I need to
find my grocery
store, the places where I go, get these resources. I need
to get things set up and build foundation,
that kind of stuff. It's just a very different approach.
And so that gets really hard. And like, everything that you were talking
about rings like, insanely accurately for, like,
how I think about it. Yeah. Yeah. So I
mean, it's just like I said realistically,
like, just know it's going to be hard,
but I think where, like, when I think about the episode,
episode 10 of "The Summer I Turned Pretty" season three that we're
discussing, I think, like, where the episode
really gets it right in terms of, like, moving to France is
like the feeling of moving to France. And why, even with all the
craziness of, you know, overwhelming
moments, dealing with, you know, the French bureaucracy and, and the
French paper and navigating and trying to, like, get a
semblance of a life here, like, the feeling of living in France,
like, it cannot be replicated anywhere
else. I feel like. And it's why people are
willing to move their lives here,
deal with everything, you know, crazy getting visas
and, you know, figuring out their life in a different way is because
it is so amazing here. So, like, you
know, all the scenes of Belly, like, you know,
going to plastivos or walking along
the sun at golden hour. Like, things like that.
Like, and just that feeling of being there and, you know, enjoying the
amazing French wine and French food and, like, the magic
that comes with all that, like, that is. We
felt that. Even in all the craziness, we felt that immediately, like,
when we would, you know, get to. When we, you know, got our car. After,
like, what, eight weeks of craziness getting our car, we
finally got it. And then once we had wheels, it was, like,
exploring, like, the Liberon Valley. And it was also, like,
when things were starting to get, like, a little bit cooler and,
like, seeing the vineyards for the first time and, like,
watching the sunset over, like, the Golden Triangle and,
you know, getting to, like, go see Cassie now that we were living there
with the kids for the first time. And there's just so many
little memories that, like, even though I look
back and know it was so hard, like, it was
also so magical because also, like,
we were a little lost, but kind of
also, like, in the best way, too, as anyone
would be moving to a foreign country, because it's like. It's
sort of like when you don't have anything to lose,
you just kind of go and you kind of see where, like, the universe takes
you in some ways. And it's been really cool to see, like, how, like,
when I look back at the last few years and reflect and just think about
those early days where I wasn't sure where, like, things
might go, but, like, I had faith and I just
sort of let things open as they have, and it's just so cool to look
back and see how, like, doors have opened and people that we've met and,
you know, just really integrated into a lot of different friendships
and just the life here. So that's been super
cool. And then also just, you know, some days
are sweet, some days are bittersweet. Just, like, kind of how they showed in the
episode with Belly. But it's like, there's just. There's, like, a
slowness that marks the passage of time. And I do feel
that way, even with kids, even with
work, even with all the responsibilities that we have as parents.
I mean, don't you feel that way? Like, it's just. There's still, like, so much
more of a slowness. Like, every morning when I open. When I wake up and
I open up the windows and I look over at the street,
and I just, like, take these moments
every single day where I'm, like, thankful for where I'm at. And
I do have all these, like, slow moments throughout the day that, like, they're not,
I mean, they're not long, but even if it's like a minute where I just
get to, like, kind of reflect and be really grateful for, like, where we
are and that and, and that, and that's, and that's how France, I think, has
really changed me, for sure. I have my theories
on, like, why the culture is like that,
you know, whether I get into that today or not. But I find that
because everybody here is looking at
it that way, it does force you
to, like, I, I don't have the level of
anxiety I still do around work. I take things, you know,
seriously, whether it's. It's with the kids or it's going to work,
whatever. But I just find myself
not trying to rush
the way that I, the way that I used to. I mean, it was like,
before we had kids even, we were running around like chickens with our
heads cut off, like, trying to essentially
go to every single social event, you know,
say yes to every single work opportunity, even if we knew deep
down maybe it wasn't, like, the right one.
Just be busy, you know, because we wear. I feel like in America, you, like,
wear that so much more as a badge of honor. And granted, we, we still
are that way. We'll. We will always be. I'm not saying that, like,
I just only saunter now, and I only,
like, take my time and don't give a fuck about being late. Like, I'm
still not like that. Like, I,
I, I can't remember if I talked about this or not, but I do remember
an experience where I was at a grocery store. This is, like,
a long time ago, and they were doing some promotion about,
like, sign up for their app and you'll get, like, money
off, whatever. And, like, it came to be, like, €5 off.
But for whatever reason, if it was settings on my phone this or that, I
couldn't download the app. And I'm standing in line, and there's like, eight or nine
people waiting in line. And it wasn't like big shopping carts. It was like
a sandwich, a thing of, like, crackers and a
drink. Like, they were clearly on their lunch break moving. And there was
this American woman behind me, and I was like, hey, I, I
don't really care about this. Like, this is taking too long. I just, I'll just
buy it. It's not a big deal. And she's like, hey, no, no, do it.
This is France. There's other lines. People can go to the other lines
and, and buy there. They know that. And I was just like,
that just seems really inconsiderate. Like, I get it, but
it's for me to, like, get an app on my phone to save five bucks.
Like, who gives a shit? Like, it is
considerate and courteous to, like, yeah, I don't need to
do this for myself right now. I'll do it when it's not the lunch rush
hour. And that kind of, like, bothered me that it was
like, you can't just say, this is France,
and just generalize that on everybody. Because we still
do hustle, we still do things, move quickly, try to get
things done. I just think that, like, our mentality around
when we can't do all of the things has changed, and
that feels very different. Yeah,
most definitely. So if you've already
watched the show and you're dreaming about moving to France,
or if you haven't watched the show, you
need to watch it or be. The fan or maybe.
Or watch it. Or maybe you watch Emily in Paris. Like, whatever it is, like,
all these shows that are coming out, you know, about France and Paris and all
the things. But, like, the thing that I would say and the thing that I
think sort of when you're watching these shows, I think it's awesome
that they're showing their version of
life. Is it completely accurate? No. But what I would say is,
for us, because there were so many things that did ring true. Like, I
think at the end of the day, it's important to
romanticize your life, for sure. But also, if you're
moving, like, you know, thinking about our first summer, like, be
ready for the hard moments, because, man, they come and they
come in, like, these waves where you feel like you get almost stuck in an
undertow, and then you finally get a little breath, and then, like, something else will
come up and, like, bring you back down. Yeah, but. But again. And
on the other coin, I'm going back to. So make sure that you do also
find the time to romanticize the moments that you can in
that time as well. So. And I. And I. And I felt like the episode
did a really good job of sort of, like, blending those two, because she had
some really hard moments and some romantic moments. And so I think that's. That's
awesome. But it's just like, knowing that,
like, you know, when you're watching any show, like,
things happen much faster. It is not instant. Things
have taken so much time. And I. And we. We've said this, you know,
lately, that we feel like finally, after two years,
we feel like we've like, turned a corner and, like, we're meeting more people
and things are feeling easier and we're, you know, speaking way more of
the language, and it just. It feels good. Like,
you know, we. We went yesterday, we had
a really fun lunch with one of our
podcast guests, Kyong Miller, and her husband.
And we went to a restaurant that we have gone to
many times over the last two years. But I feel like now, like, the. The
owner really recognizes us and, like, we have a,
a good rapport. And it's, like, fun to, like, speak French with him now because
when we first came, we were speaking a little bit more English, but now it's
like, all French. So it's just. It's really fun. A super fun
lunch, by the way. Yeah, it was a great lunch. Good times.
That's why we love this podcast. But so I would just say, like, just nothing
is instant. Everything takes time. You know, would I do that first
summer over again, like, living here? Of course, of
course. Nice. But, you know, just. Just
knowing that, like, I think what I would tell myself before the move is
probably have a little bit more grace and a little bit
more kindness with myself knowing that, like, I
like things. I mean, I'm type A. I like things to kind of be, like,
good from the jump and just knowing that. That we are going to
find ourselves through the chaos and the mess and the craziness,
like, it will all come together, but just sort of. Sort of surrender a little
bit more to what it is. It's easier said
than done. But if you're at least, like,
saying that to yourself, like, I'm gonna go
easy on myself, like, it. It does
help. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So
for all of you that are, you know, watchers of "The summer I
turn prettier" for those of you who haven't watched it but, like, decided to stick
around, like, thank you so much. It was just fun to, like, kind of talk
about this because it really struck a chord with us and we thought it'd be,
like, a great episode to talk about. And, you know, I really
would love for anyone listening to this podcast episode,
like, DM us or comment on our latest post this
week and just I want to invite you to share your own
expat dreams and stories and maybe even just talk about,
like, if there was a, you know, a show or a book
or a movie that has inspired you also to make
your own move. I like that because I like there's
so many great movies that, like, depict
a different perspective of that lifestyle. I'd be very curious
on what you, what you think
about. Yeah, let us, let us know. We would, we would love
to hear because it's fun to kind of share these collective stories together. And,
and that's why we're doing this. So on that note,
we'll have a new, fun, exciting guest next week. Week. But
we will be back again in a few weeks just to
update you guys on life. And thanks again for
your time. See you next week. Bye.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. Don't forget
to subscribe, rate us and leave a review if you love what you
hear. And you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok
@theeptons. See you guys soon.