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A year and a half ago, we risked it all and moved to France. We'll

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be sharing about our life abroad, how people could do hard things to transform

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their own lives and everything in between. This is Sophie and

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Jordan Epton. Welcome to the Away We Go We Go podcast.

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It is Sunday night. We have been with our kids for two

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days and we are officially recording with the

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last moments of the weekend. Welcome to another episode of

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the Away We Go We Go podcast.

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I always, I always feel like we are having

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to, you know, when you have kids, you're always finding these little pockets

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to record, but it's, you know, it's making us very sharp and I'm very

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excited to be back with the love of my life recording

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After several weeks of not being able to do this together with all the

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travel and the craziness and also just excited to talk

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about, to catch up and talk about our

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fun little show we have today. So how are you, my love?

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You just like completely characterized like my physical feeling through

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that like intro. I'm just like, yeah, it is

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the end of a, of a very fun but very

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hectic weekend. It's like, let's cram this in and

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also get good sleep tonight.

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But I promise we're not fully cramming in. They'll be good, they'll be good content.

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So, so yeah, it's been, it's been wild.

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We haven't yet had a chance to, we've had, you know, some guests on, we've

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done some solo podcasts, but we're back here today because

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if you didn't know, it is now officially

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fontaine in France. Actually it was a couple weeks ago, but it's

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the start of September and it is one of my favorite times

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of the year. As someone who I have made no

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bones about it, I've been very honest, that summer in Europe,

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specifically in the south of France where I live, is my

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least favorite time of year to be here. It is hot, it's

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crowded and is expensive, um, and

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everyone's everywhere. So what's so cool is that

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at the beginning of September, it's like a complete reset for France

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because it's a time where, you know, all everyone comes back

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from their month long, plus vacations, people are starting

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to work again, kids go back to school and everything is

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open and you just feel like there's this energy cuz everything is back into the

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swing of things. Like you're, you know, you aren't going to have all these stores

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that are closed. It's, you can find Everything you need. It's. It's the best.

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But I feel like it's also just, like, a very

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refreshing time because it's shoulder season,

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which means that the weather is so much better.

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We're trading in the brutal heat for actual,

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like, crisp nights, like you and I have. What had to. I think there's been

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a couple nights now where we had to close our windows because it's too

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cold at night, and I'm like, where are we right now? I love the idea

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of it being too cold at night. And Sophie,

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like, emphasis on Sophie, loves her shoulder

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seasons. The weather, the timing. She always talks about

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how that's always the best time to visit. It is. It is. So it's like,

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you know, like, all the vines are, like, lush with grapes that are about to

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be picked. Yeah, it looks awesome. It does. It looks amazing. And,

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like, the. You know, it'll be soon. Like, the leaves will be starting to change,

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and it's just. It's just so fun to think about, too. Like,

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in a couple months, we're going to transition into the holidays here, which is so

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beautiful. It's just. It's just such a sweet time of year. But it's also,

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you know, crazy, too, because everyone's trying to get everything done, but

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we have so much to catch up on, like, together and

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with the audience. So I know that the last

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solo podcast episode I had, I talked all about my time

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in Florence and how incredible it was and how

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transformative it was for my own life. But I have to

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say, what was so wild is that being in

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Italy, which I missed. I missed you desperately, by the way.

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I missed you so much. Are you talking to me or are you talking to

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Italy? I'm

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definitely talking to you, but that's cute.

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But it was wild because every other time that I have been back

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to Italy, since I studied abroad, has been with Jordan. Yeah,

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we were together every other. Every other time. So this was the first time I

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really went back by myself then also, like,

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literally to the place that I was at 18 years ago.

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And it was. It almost felt like life changing

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all over again in a different way. That's super cool. Yeah, I mean, it

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really was. So I. I was part of a incredible retreat.

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And I'll link it in in the show notes if you want to

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learn more. It was amazing, but it was,

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like, just everything from being in Tuscany to, like. I

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mean, we had. We got really lucky with the weather. It was beautiful weather,

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being able to go back to Florence for a day, and it was wild

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because Everywhere that I walked, I still remembered it, like, the back of my

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hand, like, walking. That's so cool. That had to feel, like,

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really fun. Yeah. Where you're just like. Again, as

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we've talked about moving somewhere new where you don't know where to go.

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Like, you just being able to, like, know. Oh, yeah, I can just turn on

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that street and go, I know. Here, like, that's. I. I honestly

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wasn't. I mean, it's like, I know I still know how the city, like, in

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my mind, I still know how the city is set up, but, like, to actually

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be in it and be like, oh, I know how to get from here to

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here to here, no problem. I literally don't even have to look at a map.

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Like, I just. I. Now that I'm here, I know exactly where I need to

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be. Like, that was. That was amazing. And then, I

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mean, I know that so many people talk about this, but it is.

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Here's the thing that's so wild is, like, when we

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first. Okay, so I'm back when we first moved to France, I think you and

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I thought that we were going to, like, drop all of this weight immediately because

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we would be walking so much. But I think

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it's not. Like, we, like, gained a bunch of weight, but we definitely didn't, like,

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lose any. I went through a couple little trampoline

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bounces. There I was, you know, testing out

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all of the different patisserie and all of the different.

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Yeah. Petty fours and treats. But, yeah, but I think it's. Yeah, it's because it's

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like you're eating croissants or you're eating pastries,

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or there's, you know, there's cream and there's butter. My mouth is

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watering. Like, what do you want for me? Like, what am I supposed to do?

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I'm only one man. It's. I mean,

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it's. But. But the funny part is, is that Italy is somewhere where

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you can eat pasta and pizza

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and drink wine, and that's like, all we were doing for a week.

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And I am telling you, I put my clothes on, like,

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the last day, thinking I was going to be like,

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everything was. Be really tight, it was loose. And I don't.

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I don't own a scale. So, like, I don't know if I lost weight,

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but I felt completely like I lost weight, which was crazy. It's just the food

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is so fresh there. Like, like. And we had the most incredible

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spreads of food. Like, and a lot of, like, vegetables, which isn't. You don't find

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that everywhere in Italy, but it just. It's like olive oil and fresh

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tomatoes and basil and vegetables and like, really good

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meats. And it just. I mean, France is known for its butter. So,

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yeah, everything's got butter. Everything becomes a cream. And honestly, like, I think

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I'm. I'm torn because I love the French

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butter. There's, like, nothing better than a French salted butter. But, like,

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I felt so good. I think I'm just going to start cooking with a lot

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more olive oil again. But anyways, all that to say

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it was incredible. I felt. I just. I'm like,

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I'm longing to kind of be back in Italy as

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soon as possible for a trip. So we. We'll figure that out, I think,

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sooner. Well, the other cool thing was like, you know, when. Not to

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rub it in, of course, but, like, when everybody left the retreat, they had their

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7, 8, 9 hour flights home and you had an hour flight home. And

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yeah, that was so true, too. I really brought it home for me

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and made it very real. I think when I go on

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trips like these and I come back, that's when I really

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feel like, okay, I live in France because it took me. It was an hour

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flight from Rome back to Marseille. So it.

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And I'm like, okay, this is like, you know, pretty much as easy as it

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gets. And that's again, one of the reasons we moved here. So. Yeah.

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It was amazing. Those are like the win moments where you're like, oh,

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yeah, okay. I'm glad that we did this. Yeah. Because there's. There's

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a lot on both sides of that, like, in both columns.

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But that's definitely a good one. I get that when I've had some work

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trips and I come back and I'm like, oh, this is so easy to get

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back to where I live. Yeah. Yeah. In

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comparison. And so those are definitely ones for the win

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category, which is like, okay, this was part of the reason

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why we were so inspired to do the hard

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things was because we knew that we had access to

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this. And that's really cool. Yeah. Yeah.

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So that was. That was like a major. Just like at the perfect way for

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me to start my crazy season. And speaking

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of crazy And while Sophie was, was having

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this lovely week of

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connecting back to her youth and all these things, the

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twins started school. A new school in a new

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place. It was their re entry. Jordan.

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I mean, I give all the props to him because he is

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just the most incredible dad in the whole world. I just have to, like, shout

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you out. You, yeah, you

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like wrangled those feral beasts for a week

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and all by yourself. I mean, you had some help from the new news, but

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pretty much by yourself. And I can't

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thank you enough. Yeah, of course. I mean there's, there's a lot of,

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a lot of stuff with that. And one is like, you

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did really deserve that trip, so

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it wasn't that hard. The other thing is also like, for me, I'm kind of

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like a, it's not that serious kind of guy. I know.

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So I just don't give a. I'm like, you know, we showed up late the

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first day and I came late to pick up the first day and they're like,

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this isn't how it's supposed to go. I'm like, I have two 3 year olds

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at the same time. This is our first time here. What do you want from

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me? Like, I don't care about that. Well, but like all that to say.

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So if you're, if you're new to the podcast, you're a new

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listener. If you go back. There was a point this year where we were

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trying to figure out where the kids should go to school and we were really

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debating between, you know, do we put them in a school that's

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like local, that's public, or do we put them in more something

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that's like private and international. And we did decide to go

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the international route. So it is like it, it's a cost to

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us every month, but I'm telling you, like two weeks in,

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we are all so happy. I mean, besides the commute, which is

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definitely killing us a little bit. But it's just a new schedule. It's just something

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new we have to get used to because it's definitely like when I go, I

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leave to pick them up at 3:30 and we don't get back till 5:30 at

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night. And I think the same thing goes for you when you leave. So it's

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like a two hour commitment essentially because just it should only take

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15 minutes to drive there. But with traffic, it's just, it's traffic.

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And then like, you know, where we park the car and walking in the car

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and then coming back, all of that kind of stuff.

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But yeah, I think we, we weighed out what was important to

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us about going the public school route or going the

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private international school route. And we've actually talked about it in another podcast where

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like we've connected with people here that have these like

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lifelong friends because they lived abroad and

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their kids grew up going to an international school. Together. We just thought it was,

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like, the coolest thing. And we've already met

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families from, like,

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all. All different countries. There's, you know, people from

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the Netherlands and from Spain, Italy and people

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that came from China and, like,

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in the UK and just like. And we haven't even

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met everybody. Oh, no. I feel like we barely scratched the surface. Yeah.

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And it's just like, we were really excited about that because everybody's in

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it. Not everybody, but a lot of people are in a similar situation that we

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are. Some people, like, even more

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aggressive than our situation. Like, three

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kids moved two weeks ago from somewhere in North

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America and, like, just

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literally, like, made it happen in a quick decision. Right. And it's

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just. It's very cool to, like, be in

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the mix with people that are, like, feeling.

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Yeah. Feeling. Feeling what we're going through.

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No. So, I mean, yeah, it's. It's. I love the teachers.

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I love the vibe so far. And like, most importantly, like, the kids are coming

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home and they are loving it. Like, we. We

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talked about, I think recently, so we had. We put them into. Because there's, like,

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there was one month this summer where they went to the creche

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dte, which is their summer daycare. And let's just say London is

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a bit particular. She's kind of already. The

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girl can read the room. She can read the room. And she was just like,

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I do not like this at all. And I said, I know. I said, it's

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not my favorite either. It's just for a month. It's just kind of interim,

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but, like, you're going to love where we go. And so she

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has been loving it. Like, she's coming. Like when we told them,

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you know, tonight, like, tucking them into bed, you know, we're going

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back to school tomorrow. And they were like, hey. So it's just., it's very cool.

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Like, we feel like we made the right decision. We're just gonna have to

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get. Get over this commute situation. Yeah. But

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the. The other cool thing I think that we've kind of experienced is, like, meeting

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other people that are, like, feeling the same thing. Have, like, been living here

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for a couple years or way less. It just is like

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a. This is like a brand new you are not

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alone situation for us. Yes.

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Yes. And I think that was like, one of the whole reasons why we started

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this podcast, other than, like, love letter to the twins and documenting the experience. It

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was like, you're doing hard things. You're not alone. There's a lot of

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other people doing them. And those are the people that we're trying to meet

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and talk to and bring to this. Like, people are

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inspired and doing all sorts of like, really

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hard stuff. So again, wherever you're at in your journey

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of, you know, being inspired, of having moved in the process

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of moving about to move or just thinking about

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just it keeps coming in waves where you keep having these experiences where you like,

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meet people and you're like, oh, yeah, okay, I don't have to

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feel so isolated and crazy. I'm not, I'm not alone in this. I'm not crazy.

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People that are feeling the same thing and it just normalizes a bit

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and makes it a little bit easier to swallow

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from that. So I think that's been a very cool, humbling

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and approachable experience of them starting the new school for sure.

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So we'll, we'll keep you guys updated on all of that. But so far,

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like we're loving it. So, we, we have,

253
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yeah, lots of what a very busy six weeks ahead of

254
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us. Travel, you know, just everything with their school.

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But we will, we'll keep updating you as we also have

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some fun. Some more guest podcasts coming up as

257
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well, but I wanted to kind of get

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into what we were going to talk about today, which is

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if you, if you know, you know, with the, with the title

260
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the Summer I Turn Expat. If you don't know,

261
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you're going to learn all about it today. So he's going to give you the

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rundown just like she gave me the rundown to get

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me involved in this in the first place.

264
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So if you have been living under a rock. Just kidding. But

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there is a major cultural phenomenon happening

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right now and it is called "The Summer I Turned Pretty".

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So for all the listeners who don't know this show, highly

268
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recommend that you get on it with Amazon prime

269
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and download it and watch. It's just three seasons based

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on three books, but this show is,

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I'm telling. You, it's, it's stirring up people's

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emotions. Not only that, but I think

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it's. When I say that it's been a cultural phenomenon,

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everyone from boomer dads living

275
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in America to young pre teen

276
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girls in Europe and beyond are watching this show. There

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is something about it because it's kind of a very

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like, I mean it kind of reminds me which is what, you know, it's a

279
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little bit based on is the old movie Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn where it's,

280
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there's like romance, there's, you know, kind of a

281
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love tryst with two brothers. But the whole thing, essentially, it

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makes you feel nostalgic, I think, for a time in your life

283
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where things were slightly more simple, I

284
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think. I. I don't know, it just. There's. But it's hits a nerve

285
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across, you know, everyone,

286
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globally. And so, like I said, if you haven't watched it, please,

287
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like, do yourself a favor and. And go watch this. But it's

288
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supposed to. The series finale is supposed to be next week,

289
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but what was really fun is that in the past week, I thought

290
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it'd be amazing to do an episode that kind of coincides with this,

291
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because I'm not trying to. It's a little bit of a spoiler alert here, but

292
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the main character, Belly, ends up going to live in Paris.

293
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And it was really wild watching this show and

294
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this whole episode of her, like, kind of figuring out her footing probably the

295
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first seven or eight months that she's living there, because there were a

296
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lot of things that we felt like there were parallels

297
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to what we experienced when we

298
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first moved to the south of France. It was really interesting to watch because even

299
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though she was in Paris, we were just like, a lot of these different,

300
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like, moments that she was experiencing were like, oh,

301
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:47,740
yeah, totally. And then other ones where

302
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you're like, is that tv? Right. So we thought it'd be. And. And the

303
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reason, too, we. We thought this would be really cool for everyone is because

304
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I think there's. A lot of times there's a show or a

305
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movie that people see or something,

306
00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:06,500
but it. But it inspires you to want to potentially move

307
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somewhere else. And I think what's important is to kind of

308
00:19:10,170 --> 00:19:13,770
call out, like, what is realistic from,

309
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:17,290
you know, things like this and also, like, there was a branch of bulllshit.

310
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:21,130
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, what things

311
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are really like, because, you know, around here, we always keep it real.

312
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Try to at least.

313
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So for those who have not seen

314
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any of this, again, I don't want to give away the plot line because you

315
00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:39,660
need to, like, watch the whole thing. But essentially, there's

316
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a lot that happens in Belly's life, and

317
00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:46,580
romantically. And so she ends, by the way. Her name is Isabel. Isabel, but everyone

318
00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:50,380
calls her Belly. I just feel like it's a. Yeah.

319
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Important to call that out. Yes. But so she.

320
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So she has always wanted to go to Paris. And then I think as she's

321
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trying to find herself again, she ends up there.

322
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And it's. I think it's, you know, really, really important

323
00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:09,350
to show kind of I think again, going back to like, even

324
00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:13,150
the episode where I talked about living in Tuscany, I think it's really cool to

325
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think about how travel shapes you and all those things. So I thought. I just

326
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thought it was such a great episode. And again, it was. We'll just, we'll

327
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get. We'll get all into it. So there's

328
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definitely a TV magic versus reality

329
00:20:27,510 --> 00:20:31,310
check of. Of what this episode is all about. So

330
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:34,740
for anyone who also has been watching and like, is

331
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wondering what's realistic, there's definitely some things that

332
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:42,540
are, are not. But there's definitely some things

333
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that I felt like they did really, really well. So I kind of

334
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:49,740
wanted to. Do you want to do a little like, true or faux segment

335
00:20:49,819 --> 00:20:53,420
about what are some of the things we thought like, were really good? Yeah,

336
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,460
yeah. Let's hit the options. Okay.

337
00:20:57,180 --> 00:21:00,700
So there is a point where when Belly first

338
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moves to Paris, and again, mind you, she is young and

339
00:21:04,140 --> 00:21:07,700
she's single, but she ends up moving into an apartment

340
00:21:07,780 --> 00:21:11,500
with several roommates. And I felt like

341
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,220
that was very accurate to. It's like, if

342
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you're going to move to Paris, it is like people ask all the time, like,

343
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:22,260
is Paris just as expensive as the south of France? I said

344
00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:25,300
it is so much more expensive. It's crazy.

345
00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:28,980
Crazy. Like, I mean, it's comparative to,

346
00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:33,050
you know, probably what, somewhat like New York. Don't know. But

347
00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:36,330
it's expensive. And we have a friend who just started an

348
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:39,970
internship there and is in a very similar

349
00:21:39,970 --> 00:21:43,730
situation. Like she moved in with I. It might

350
00:21:43,730 --> 00:21:47,290
be like three or four other people. Belly moved in with three other people.

351
00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:53,050
Slightly different because our friend moved in. They're all like,

352
00:21:53,530 --> 00:21:56,810
in housing that is tied to this internship.

353
00:21:58,020 --> 00:22:01,220
So I don't think the like,

354
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:05,100
personalities are as drastic. But in the

355
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:08,660
show she's with like a normal chick

356
00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:12,460
and then an. And then like a gross, total weirdo.

357
00:22:12,460 --> 00:22:16,020
Yeah. And like, But

358
00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:20,100
I think what was like, coming out of all of their

359
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:23,860
personalities in a situation like that, you're like, eh, yeah, I'm buying

360
00:22:23,860 --> 00:22:27,580
that. I buy that. That's. That seems absolutely. And also just the fact

361
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:31,420
that they're just everything. They sort. They're

362
00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:34,820
sort of like turning their nose up at. Or they're a little bit more

363
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:38,540
reserved about. Because we talk about this all the time. Like, you have to.

364
00:22:38,540 --> 00:22:42,180
With a French person, it takes so much time. You have to

365
00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:45,700
crack them open. But then once you're finally in, like, it's, you know,

366
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:49,220
it's. It's like, it's like a hard candy shell. And a soft

367
00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:53,030
gooey middle. Like it's just. But it takes a while. So just,

368
00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:56,550
I just thought, yeah, that's just really funny. Well, and, and like quick like

369
00:22:56,550 --> 00:22:59,670
actual difference. Like this weekend I,

370
00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:04,310
I had a friend from, from Austin actually.

371
00:23:05,190 --> 00:23:08,990
Her and her husband celebrating their 10 year anniversary, flew out because

372
00:23:08,990 --> 00:23:12,790
they had gotten married in Paris and literally like just

373
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decided to pop down south. Messaged me, hey, we're going to be in Marseille, we're

374
00:23:16,630 --> 00:23:20,480
going to Cassis for literally 24 hours. I was like

375
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,960
great and drove down to meet him. I had never met her husband

376
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:28,440
before for various reasons. But if we've known about each other for

377
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,000
like years, like instantly like hugging each other, like,

378
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,400
what's up best friends? Like that never happens. No. Ever

379
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,200
here? No. Like even if I know somebody

380
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,720
through somebody, it's still like,

381
00:23:43,730 --> 00:23:47,290
I don't know, like a New Yorker cartoon where we're like bowing and shaking

382
00:23:47,290 --> 00:23:50,970
hands or some. There's like a giant gap between us and it's like, how

383
00:23:50,970 --> 00:23:54,050
long till I get a hug, man? Yeah. Someone asked me recently, one of the

384
00:23:54,050 --> 00:23:56,730
things I missed the most from, from living in the U. S And I said

385
00:23:56,730 --> 00:24:00,490
just everyone giving big bear hugs because you

386
00:24:00,490 --> 00:24:04,250
know, a 20 second hug. You married a hugger, dude. Yeah, well, that

387
00:24:04,250 --> 00:24:08,090
too. But a 20 second hug will literally change your brain chemistry. They've proven

388
00:24:08,090 --> 00:24:11,570
it. So, so, so anyway, so it's just, it's just funny though. I feel like

389
00:24:11,570 --> 00:24:15,370
that part was accurate. But the, but the part actually that is not accurate is

390
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:19,090
she ends up moving. If you've seen the episode, she ends up moving into another

391
00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:22,570
apartment that's by herself that's right near the

392
00:24:22,570 --> 00:24:26,130
Sacra Coeur and it's like a beautiful apartment. I'm thinking

393
00:24:26,130 --> 00:24:29,410
unless for some reason they have like some major rent control,

394
00:24:30,050 --> 00:24:33,890
like there is no way, no chance, no chance that she would be

395
00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:37,570
able to afford that. Being like in her early 20s, that. Felt a little

396
00:24:37,570 --> 00:24:41,080
TV like you're looking at like how do the girls and friends of

397
00:24:41,150 --> 00:24:44,270
afford this like crazy apartment forever? It's like that kind of feeling.

398
00:24:45,230 --> 00:24:47,710
But I will say that what is

399
00:24:49,310 --> 00:24:52,910
more common is getting things because you know

400
00:24:52,910 --> 00:24:56,670
somebody. For sure, that's a really good point. She had got it

401
00:24:56,670 --> 00:25:00,310
like from a friend who is moving out for whatever reason and

402
00:25:00,310 --> 00:25:04,030
she's like, I'd hate to see this go to somebody else. Would you want it?

403
00:25:04,510 --> 00:25:07,790
So like I do think there is that because like even

404
00:25:08,030 --> 00:25:11,840
being here when we were looking for parking, people were like, oh yeah, just

405
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,240
print out a photo of your family and put your phone Number and blah, blah,

406
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,040
blah, and just shove it in people's mailboxes. Otherwise, you're just

407
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,760
gonna have to, like, find somebody, you know, I'm like, what? I know.

408
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,880
That's crazy. Yeah. Just, you know, just

409
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,400
different things. One of the other things that we thought was really

410
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:35,120
interesting or like, something to point out kind of felt more like

411
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:38,930
a foe was, you know, she ends up

412
00:25:38,930 --> 00:25:42,650
moving there thinking that she's going to get a student visa, but she

413
00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:46,250
hasn't even gotten the visa yet. And so when she. Essentially,

414
00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:49,490
everything falls apart for her there. Like, with her whole plan,

415
00:25:49,970 --> 00:25:53,330
she's having to work under the table while she gets her visa.

416
00:25:54,130 --> 00:25:57,970
And, like, I've heard from French people that they

417
00:25:57,970 --> 00:26:01,210
know a lot of people that do that here, where they just are here without

418
00:26:01,210 --> 00:26:04,960
a visa. But let me tell you, we do

419
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,640
not recommend. We do not, like, 0 out of 10, 0% recommend

420
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:12,400
this. Like, that is so scary to think about. If

421
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,240
you were ever caught, which we have, like, there's one person I heard from,

422
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,720
a friend of a friend, had lived here for, like,

423
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,480
15 years. Like, had followed a guy, lived here for

424
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,280
15 years without a visa. But

425
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,800
then when she was in Amsterdam, of all places, because they're really strict, even though

426
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,450
they're part of the eu, they busted her, and she got in big

427
00:26:34,450 --> 00:26:38,090
trouble. And so all I would say is, be

428
00:26:38,090 --> 00:26:41,730
legal, get your visa, stay good with the French government.

429
00:26:41,730 --> 00:26:44,530
Like, especially if you integrity your bum.

430
00:26:46,610 --> 00:26:50,450
Because it's just. That's something that personally, like, I just don't ever

431
00:26:50,530 --> 00:26:54,250
want people to romanticize in any way. Like, it's such a pain

432
00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:58,010
in the ass. As we know, we've talked about a. Lot of visa

433
00:26:58,010 --> 00:27:01,650
options, so it's not like. Yes, there's. There's a decent amount,

434
00:27:01,730 --> 00:27:05,450
like, oh, well. It's so hard to figure out how to do it.

435
00:27:05,450 --> 00:27:09,170
Like, it's not like. I mean, all the bureaucracy is tough, but it's not

436
00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:12,850
like it's that hard. So just do it.

437
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:16,330
Yeah, just. I would say just do it the right way, especially if you want

438
00:27:16,330 --> 00:27:18,730
to be here long term. Like, you want to be good. You want to stay

439
00:27:18,730 --> 00:27:22,570
good with the French government. So really quickly, because we were talking about the

440
00:27:22,570 --> 00:27:25,970
moving conditions, I do want to just jump back really quickly because

441
00:27:26,130 --> 00:27:29,820
I do very distinctly remember being triggered

442
00:27:29,980 --> 00:27:32,940
in one part, triggered for a funny reason.

443
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:38,380
In the episode, there are, like, multiple times

444
00:27:38,380 --> 00:27:41,860
where Belly has to deal with a leak in the apartment. Oh,

445
00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:45,300
yes. And they're like, oh, there's a leak in the bathroom. And then they see

446
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:48,980
another leak, like in the room is like coming from the like hand

447
00:27:48,980 --> 00:27:52,620
carved crown molding or whatever. And like I'm staring at that,

448
00:27:52,620 --> 00:27:56,260
like accurate, accurate. No, I don't like this.

449
00:27:56,260 --> 00:27:59,300
Like our first apartment when we moved here in July,

450
00:27:59,940 --> 00:28:03,700
it was very dry. Maybe it, it was like two, three weeks

451
00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:07,060
later maybe and we had a torrential

452
00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:10,820
downpour and not there was,

453
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:14,980
I think that first one, there was one part in our like add

454
00:28:14,980 --> 00:28:18,700
on sunroom. It was just like running water was running down

455
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:22,360
the wall. And then in our laundry room it was running all. It was

456
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:25,280
coming through like the skylight that was in there and it was like dripping in

457
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,840
there and it was like this filthy water got all over our

458
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,600
clothes, was so nasty. And the next time

459
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,360
it rained there was another place where the water came in and we

460
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,960
had to like hound our landlord about it. But I was like watching that and

461
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,880
I was like, oh my God, very accurate.

462
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,440
Well, it's. I'm not. Yeah, we're not saying that every apartment is going to

463
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,360
leak. Like. Yeah, but they probably do. I'm just kidding. Our current one doesn't. Our

464
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:54,100
current one's amazing. But it's. It funny. This is why,

465
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:57,540
I mean, when we knew when we moved that this was not going to be

466
00:28:57,540 --> 00:29:00,700
our forever apartment, especially once it started to leak, we were like,

467
00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:04,620
okay, it's officially really time to like research

468
00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:08,420
and find something else. So, yeah,

469
00:29:08,420 --> 00:29:11,460
that's really funny. I feel like when you told me about that I had like

470
00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:14,300
blocked it out and I remembered it all over again. I was, I just remember

471
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,340
having to deal with it and then seeing that I was like, oh, no,

472
00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:22,230
no. I felt really bad for them when. They say when it

473
00:29:22,230 --> 00:29:25,270
rains it pours, like. Yeah.

474
00:29:26,070 --> 00:29:29,750
So when the episode though I do think they did

475
00:29:30,070 --> 00:29:33,190
quite a few things that are very

476
00:29:33,350 --> 00:29:36,870
accurate to the French culture. So one of them was

477
00:29:37,590 --> 00:29:40,830
she had been told that she could be part of.

478
00:29:40,830 --> 00:29:43,270
Essentially she had a place at this university

479
00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:48,540
and when she came to actually talk to

480
00:29:48,780 --> 00:29:52,420
the register there, this woman said,

481
00:29:52,420 --> 00:29:56,140
oh yeah, you're not, you're not registered. Like whoever you talk to

482
00:29:56,140 --> 00:29:59,660
screwed it up. And so of course she just said "C'est pas possible",

483
00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:04,300
which is so accurate. Like

484
00:30:04,380 --> 00:30:07,980
it's impossible. I'm sorry, it's impossible. Yeah, that is

485
00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:12,460
that. Now that is so that's something to always know. Always.

486
00:30:12,970 --> 00:30:16,730
Is that French people, it is part of their

487
00:30:16,730 --> 00:30:20,450
culture. They do not generally step out of their lanes a

488
00:30:20,450 --> 00:30:24,130
lot when it comes to like what they're doing, what they're supporting, where they're

489
00:30:24,130 --> 00:30:27,890
working, all of those things. So they will always come at you

490
00:30:27,890 --> 00:30:31,610
with papus, which not possible. And so it is

491
00:30:31,610 --> 00:30:35,370
your job to stand your ground and to

492
00:30:35,370 --> 00:30:38,730
not. I wouldn't say fight back, but to stand your ground,

493
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:42,810
be strong. They like a good argument. So, you know. Yeah, and. And tell

494
00:30:42,810 --> 00:30:46,550
them, you know, if this. If this doesn't work one way, we're going to

495
00:30:46,550 --> 00:30:49,110
figure out a different way that it's going to work. If you're telling me the.

496
00:30:49,110 --> 00:30:52,830
The door is closed, I'm going to figure out a window to open, a chimney

497
00:30:52,830 --> 00:30:55,830
to climb through. Like, we are figuring this out. But it was. It was also.

498
00:30:56,950 --> 00:31:00,230
And. And our French friends say this all the time. It was very French that,

499
00:31:00,230 --> 00:31:03,670
like, one guy told her, oh, we have a spot for you. And then she

500
00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:07,190
was like, well, you didn't update this document. And it's like,

501
00:31:08,070 --> 00:31:11,510
you're not on the cloud. You're running university. We're living in the 90s.

502
00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:14,950
Like, where did he write What? Yeah, what? Spreadsheet by hand.

503
00:31:15,410 --> 00:31:18,090
Write this down on that. It didn't get transferred to anybody else. And he was

504
00:31:18,090 --> 00:31:21,890
like, oh, yeah, no problem. And then that's when she was like, but this dude

505
00:31:21,890 --> 00:31:25,730
told me I had a spot. She's like, it, papus, it's not possible. Like,

506
00:31:26,370 --> 00:31:29,650
I, you know, she was like, yelling at the dude, but still not helping her,

507
00:31:29,650 --> 00:31:32,690
and we're just like, oof, totally.

508
00:31:33,090 --> 00:31:36,810
Yeah. Yeah. So the

509
00:31:36,810 --> 00:31:40,290
other thing that I thought was so, so accurate

510
00:31:40,370 --> 00:31:43,780
and it rang so, so true for me, and I know you too,

511
00:31:44,340 --> 00:31:48,180
was that, yeah, every. Well, it's. Because it's. Our everyday reality is

512
00:31:48,820 --> 00:31:51,700
just the language barrier and how she would

513
00:31:52,420 --> 00:31:56,100
try her hardest. And every time that she had to say

514
00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:59,820
something. And this is also Belly had in the show, she

515
00:31:59,820 --> 00:32:03,580
studies French for years before she actually lives in Paris. I forgot

516
00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:07,340
that. Yeah. And. But even for her, it's so

517
00:32:07,340 --> 00:32:11,100
different, I think, when you take it in school versus, like, conversationally when you get

518
00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:14,820
there. But so every time she's about

519
00:32:14,820 --> 00:32:18,500
to say something, she says it in her head first and then speaks it,

520
00:32:18,740 --> 00:32:22,380
and then they still end up in Paris, for sure. Like, speaking back to her

521
00:32:22,380 --> 00:32:26,180
in English. And I resonated with

522
00:32:26,180 --> 00:32:29,940
this so much because I would say now,

523
00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:33,100
at this point, because we've been here for two years, like, there's definitely a lot

524
00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:36,420
of phrases and certain things if I'm saying it over and over and over again,

525
00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:39,580
like, I don't think have to think about it, I just say it.

526
00:32:40,220 --> 00:32:44,020
But there's so many times, especially like, if we're meeting with, like, A

527
00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:47,500
doctor for Luca or there's just like a different. It's like

528
00:32:47,820 --> 00:32:51,260
out of our wheelhouse of like the normal vocabulary that we use.

529
00:32:51,580 --> 00:32:55,260
I mean, the amount of times that I am still looking on my Google

530
00:32:55,260 --> 00:32:58,900
Translate and saying in my head what I'm going to say before I say it

531
00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:02,740
to make sure it's like the right, you know, like

532
00:33:02,740 --> 00:33:06,540
sentence structure and verb tense and like all these different

533
00:33:06,540 --> 00:33:10,120
things. And I still sometimes end up sounding like a total idiot.

534
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,880
But it's. The accuracy of

535
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,560
that is incredible because it is so true.

536
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,760
I, I talked about this in my solo episode about

537
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,239
my experience in Argentina. Same thing. Studied Spanish, got down

538
00:33:25,239 --> 00:33:28,920
there, couldn't do anything. But I mean, even now, like

539
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,320
if I'm walking down the street going shopping, like

540
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:38,240
both, I'll, I'll practice and rehearse, I'll have full on conversations in my head.

541
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,930
I probably do that anyways because I'm a little crazy. But when I have a

542
00:33:41,930 --> 00:33:45,690
phone call that I have to make to like ask for something, I

543
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:49,450
will Google translate the first sentence and then

544
00:33:49,450 --> 00:33:53,250
I'll Google translate a few follow ups because I'm role playing what

545
00:33:53,250 --> 00:33:56,689
they might say or ask for exactly. So that I can then like

546
00:33:56,930 --> 00:34:00,730
further explain in more detail in different words what I'm trying

547
00:34:00,730 --> 00:34:04,530
to do. So I have like a few options, praying that

548
00:34:04,530 --> 00:34:08,140
they're like, okay because I'll understand that. And if they like

549
00:34:08,140 --> 00:34:11,980
ask for further clarification, like, I'm out. And like, I'm sorry, that's

550
00:34:11,980 --> 00:34:15,740
all I got. So I thought, yeah, a lot of her

551
00:34:15,740 --> 00:34:19,340
experiences where she was trying to say things in

552
00:34:19,340 --> 00:34:23,140
French and she was like, you could see like her facial expression when

553
00:34:23,140 --> 00:34:26,820
she was like, she knew she wasn't saying it perfectly and some

554
00:34:26,820 --> 00:34:30,580
people were being really nice. But then like people would respond back in English. And

555
00:34:30,580 --> 00:34:34,300
like you also go through these like phases where like

556
00:34:36,009 --> 00:34:39,809
that goes from like offending you to not offending you at all to

557
00:34:39,809 --> 00:34:43,489
then offending you again to not offending you where you're

558
00:34:43,489 --> 00:34:47,129
like, at first you're like, hey, I'm

559
00:34:47,129 --> 00:34:50,249
speaking French. Why, why are you speaking French back? And then you're like, actually I

560
00:34:50,249 --> 00:34:53,489
don't understand it when you do speak French back. So it's totally okay that you

561
00:34:53,489 --> 00:34:57,289
go to English. Then I feel like I'm getting better.

562
00:34:57,769 --> 00:35:01,010
You're still speaking back to me in English to.

563
00:35:01,250 --> 00:35:04,770
Honestly, I don't even give a, like whatever. Like speak to me in

564
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:08,290
English. When you don't, you don't. And I'll just clock it then.

565
00:35:08,370 --> 00:35:12,130
So it's, it's definitely an emotional roller coaster with, like, your confidence

566
00:35:12,130 --> 00:35:15,850
and going through that. But that was a very accurate depiction. I know.

567
00:35:15,850 --> 00:35:19,170
I loved that. So, I mean, kind of when I think about

568
00:35:19,410 --> 00:35:23,210
this episode and I think about our first summer in France, and I kind of

569
00:35:23,210 --> 00:35:26,940
flash back to the summer of 2023 and, like,

570
00:35:26,940 --> 00:35:30,780
how it really felt for us to arrive in France. The. The summer

571
00:35:30,780 --> 00:35:34,620
return expat. I will never

572
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:38,540
forget because, you know, we've traveled to France, traveled to Europe

573
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:42,740
so many different times, and it's like there is when you

574
00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:46,420
land for a vacation, and, you know, you are

575
00:35:46,420 --> 00:35:49,620
so excited. You're thinking about all the things you're going to do. I will never

576
00:35:49,620 --> 00:35:52,940
forget what it was like when we had taken our

577
00:35:53,250 --> 00:35:57,090
flight with our family, had landed in Paris, and I remember

578
00:35:57,170 --> 00:36:00,930
we had a car come and pick us up and,

579
00:36:01,490 --> 00:36:04,610
you know, to take us into the city. And it felt

580
00:36:05,890 --> 00:36:09,730
like every emotion you could feel, it was excitement. It was, like,

581
00:36:09,730 --> 00:36:13,450
extreme overwhelm. It was a lot

582
00:36:13,450 --> 00:36:17,210
of nervousness. And I think overall it just felt very real and, like,

583
00:36:17,210 --> 00:36:20,780
I would say slightly heavy because it just. It felt

584
00:36:20,860 --> 00:36:24,500
so monumental that, okay, like, we have literally

585
00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:27,500
burned the boats and we are here, and,

586
00:36:28,380 --> 00:36:31,940
like, we're making this happen. Yeah, I

587
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:35,700
remember that, and I. I do remember it very distinctly. Feeling different. And

588
00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:38,220
it. I think for me, probably because

589
00:36:39,580 --> 00:36:43,300
I'm a little bit less planned and a little bit more fly by the seat

590
00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:47,010
of my pants, it was a lot of excitement for me. I didn't. I,

591
00:36:47,010 --> 00:36:50,810
like, I process way more slowly than you. Well, sure. And I did all the

592
00:36:50,810 --> 00:36:54,450
paperwork, too, so. You did all the paperwork, too. Let's make sure

593
00:36:54,450 --> 00:36:58,290
that's recorded, huh? But you did, like, seriously, Sophie

594
00:36:58,290 --> 00:37:02,050
worked your ass off and was so organized. And, like, if you

595
00:37:02,050 --> 00:37:05,730
watch Parks and Rec, Leslie no Has, like, color coded tabs for

596
00:37:05,730 --> 00:37:09,490
everything. Sophie absolutely had that. It was amazing, which is why our visa

597
00:37:09,490 --> 00:37:12,980
process was so smooth. So thank you for that. But

598
00:37:14,260 --> 00:37:17,220
I just remember landing being like, whoa, this is like,

599
00:37:18,740 --> 00:37:22,260
I don't have a return flight. Yeah. So

600
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:26,260
I'm like, here. And it just felt different, and it was really

601
00:37:26,260 --> 00:37:29,620
cool. But my confusion and

602
00:37:29,620 --> 00:37:33,220
overwhelm definitely sank in a few days

603
00:37:33,220 --> 00:37:37,060
later. Also, well, I think at first, like, days or weeks, it's like, oh,

604
00:37:37,060 --> 00:37:40,660
my gosh, we're in this new place, we're figuring things out. Everything's hard, hard,

605
00:37:40,660 --> 00:37:44,020
but we're like, we're excited. But then I think it's also

606
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:48,340
like, you know, you really start to feel the

607
00:37:48,340 --> 00:37:51,980
culture shock of it, and especially just with

608
00:37:51,980 --> 00:37:55,740
French culture. And just how their systems are like truly. I

609
00:37:55,740 --> 00:37:59,140
mean I know we've said this before, but it is to this day and it

610
00:37:59,140 --> 00:38:02,820
was especially shocking when we moved. Like we knew, we, of course we knew

611
00:38:02,820 --> 00:38:06,630
that the culture's slower, everything moves slower. But I think

612
00:38:06,630 --> 00:38:09,950
it was still like for us just being

613
00:38:10,110 --> 00:38:13,790
really like, you know, being put into the deep end of

614
00:38:14,990 --> 00:38:18,510
how incredibly slow it can be here and how people are just really

615
00:38:18,590 --> 00:38:21,870
not willing to go out of their way to help you out until of course

616
00:38:22,270 --> 00:38:25,790
you break that crusty exterior. But that takes a long time.

617
00:38:26,350 --> 00:38:29,870
So until then it's like you feel. There's

618
00:38:29,870 --> 00:38:32,910
definitely like a very isolating feeling because

619
00:38:33,970 --> 00:38:37,570
I think, you know, if maybe you were somewhere going to like Spain or

620
00:38:37,570 --> 00:38:41,210
Italy. And again this is nothing against the French people because they truly like we've,

621
00:38:41,210 --> 00:38:44,810
when we'll talk more about this, like they're really lovely but it's just a

622
00:38:44,810 --> 00:38:48,570
different kind of immediate warmth that is lacking

623
00:38:48,570 --> 00:38:52,010
here that I think it's like when you first are moving to a new place

624
00:38:52,010 --> 00:38:55,850
and you're like, you know, so excited but so nervous and you need

625
00:38:55,850 --> 00:38:59,580
someone to kind of extend that arm to you. Like it's

626
00:38:59,580 --> 00:39:03,180
not, it just doesn't exist as much here. So

627
00:39:04,540 --> 00:39:08,380
again if it does, it's just slower. Right. Well and that, that's the point.

628
00:39:08,380 --> 00:39:11,980
It's, it's not right away, it's slower. It's not to say

629
00:39:12,220 --> 00:39:16,020
that like, nobody's ever going to help you with anything immediately. Like

630
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:19,340
we definitely had tons of help from people being super sweet

631
00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:22,380
but it's also like

632
00:39:23,980 --> 00:39:27,540
it's very short lived and

633
00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:32,740
yeah, it's just, it's just tricky. So I think that was. Yeah.

634
00:39:32,740 --> 00:39:36,420
Very relevant. And I think the other thing that when I

635
00:39:36,420 --> 00:39:40,140
think about like the overwhelm of everything that we had to do and

636
00:39:40,140 --> 00:39:43,820
the reason we always said like we were really buried for, you know, those

637
00:39:43,820 --> 00:39:47,140
first months was because I always talk about the French love paper.

638
00:39:47,700 --> 00:39:51,220
And so everything that we did revolved around

639
00:39:51,220 --> 00:39:54,460
paper. I was so. I was like, I can't wait for something just to come

640
00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:57,600
in electronically so I don't have to sign. The more thing

641
00:39:58,240 --> 00:40:01,920
like I am the like it's all crushed up in the

642
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,520
bottom. I'm a backpack type kid. Like don't give me paper.

643
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:09,560
I am hardly a responsible adult. I know you're giving me shout out

644
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,560
for doing a great job taking care of the kids and I kept them alive.

645
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:16,320
But like that's just like eating and bathing and dressing. Like those are

646
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,920
normal things that I have to do for myself. Just doing it for a couple

647
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,560
extra little mini people. But the responsible adult things like

648
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,380
keeping papers crisp and not like crushed up or leaving

649
00:40:27,380 --> 00:40:31,100
them. I literally like, I got paperwork

650
00:40:31,180 --> 00:40:34,780
from like the warranty information for

651
00:40:34,780 --> 00:40:38,620
some of our appliances. When I went to the store, put them in

652
00:40:38,620 --> 00:40:42,220
my back pocket, forgot about them, wash the shorts, that shit's gone.

653
00:40:42,220 --> 00:40:45,940
Like that's me. This is, I know. Well,

654
00:40:45,940 --> 00:40:49,260
this is why we have me and I keep everything organized. That's why I'm so

655
00:40:49,260 --> 00:40:52,990
lucky there. But it was so, so overwhelming because it's like everything

656
00:40:53,150 --> 00:40:56,870
from like us learning. We have to have this special book for the babies

657
00:40:56,870 --> 00:41:00,430
to go to all their doctor's appointments which because they would write in paper,

658
00:41:00,990 --> 00:41:04,510
you know, everything that we had to do and buy

659
00:41:04,510 --> 00:41:07,990
like I swear requires a dossier which is like this, you know,

660
00:41:07,990 --> 00:41:11,750
whole like physical paper binder which talks about all

661
00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:15,150
your finances to like get credits or to be able to buy something

662
00:41:15,230 --> 00:41:18,930
or you know, get a loan or whatever. It is like business.

663
00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:23,650
There's just, there's paper. People were asking me, they're like, you know, your business

664
00:41:23,650 --> 00:41:27,250
card, can I have your business card? Business card, Business

665
00:41:27,330 --> 00:41:30,770
card. What do you. Is this 1992? Like what is happening here?

666
00:41:31,170 --> 00:41:33,890
So it's just, it's just really, really funny. So I think it's just,

667
00:41:34,770 --> 00:41:38,530
just knowing that like things. And again this is the beauty of it too. It

668
00:41:38,530 --> 00:41:42,370
just, it feels so incredible in a different way here

669
00:41:42,370 --> 00:41:46,040
because people are not going to be like betrothed

670
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,800
into the fast paced culture of somewhere like

671
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:53,560
the US but it. That also comes with them doing things, you know, in

672
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,400
an old fashioned way. So. And you

673
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:01,040
know, again like just being here the first summer and

674
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,240
like trying to make friends and find community, like

675
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,800
it just. You just need to give yourself grace because I mean for

676
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,560
us, and again we moved here with kids so it

677
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:16,120
is a different vibe for sure. But it

678
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,840
does take longer than you think. I think no matter what,

679
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,440
especially when you're moving to a foreign country. But what I

680
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,360
will say is that, I mean, don't you feel this way that now after two

681
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,120
years of going to the same places, like seeing the same people,

682
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:34,520
expanding our circle, like we've really cracked this open a lot more.

683
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:38,600
I totally agree. I think the one asterisk I'll throw in there is

684
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,340
that it is really easy to meet people when you travel

685
00:42:42,340 --> 00:42:45,860
and when you move. But travel

686
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:49,460
inherently is very like there's people

687
00:42:49,460 --> 00:42:53,020
are transient so you'll very easily

688
00:42:53,020 --> 00:42:56,500
meet awesome people. I, I remember I met this

689
00:42:56,580 --> 00:43:00,300
super cool couple American guy, French girl. But they

690
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:04,100
were from LA because of his work situation. They were here for like

691
00:43:04,100 --> 00:43:07,830
11 months. And I met him like at

692
00:43:07,830 --> 00:43:11,430
month 10 and a half. And like, we became friends

693
00:43:11,510 --> 00:43:15,230
so quickly that of the people they invited to their

694
00:43:15,230 --> 00:43:18,950
little going away picnic, we and the twins were

695
00:43:18,950 --> 00:43:22,670
invited. Like, this was in two weeks that we

696
00:43:22,670 --> 00:43:26,310
already, like, became really good friends just from, like seeing them

697
00:43:26,310 --> 00:43:29,670
regularly and being there. It was, it's so easy

698
00:43:30,310 --> 00:43:34,140
to meet people, but you're

699
00:43:34,140 --> 00:43:37,860
on like the end trail for somebody else when you just got

700
00:43:37,860 --> 00:43:41,140
there. Kind of things that happens all the time

701
00:43:41,300 --> 00:43:43,700
versus more permanent people,

702
00:43:45,380 --> 00:43:48,900
like just the. The mentality and the lifestyle is different. If

703
00:43:48,900 --> 00:43:52,580
you're only planning to stay, sir, for a certain

704
00:43:52,580 --> 00:43:56,100
amount of time, it's more likely that you're gonna, like, every

705
00:43:56,100 --> 00:43:59,820
weekend be adventuring. I mean, you did this when you studied

706
00:43:59,820 --> 00:44:03,140
abroad. You had, you know, like five, six months that you were living abroad and

707
00:44:03,140 --> 00:44:06,900
you're like, I am not wasting a moment. Like every weekend,

708
00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:10,460
to the extent we can afford it, I am going to take advantage of this

709
00:44:10,460 --> 00:44:14,260
experience and opportunity as best as I can. Versus

710
00:44:14,980 --> 00:44:17,940
when you're like, I'm doing life

711
00:44:18,500 --> 00:44:21,860
there. Made it sound like it was prison. It's not.

712
00:44:23,460 --> 00:44:27,210
You are having to figure out, like, I need to

713
00:44:27,210 --> 00:44:30,730
find my grocery

714
00:44:30,730 --> 00:44:34,410
store, the places where I go, get these resources. I need

715
00:44:34,410 --> 00:44:37,130
to get things set up and build foundation,

716
00:44:38,010 --> 00:44:41,050
that kind of stuff. It's just a very different approach.

717
00:44:41,930 --> 00:44:45,610
And so that gets really hard. And like, everything that you were talking

718
00:44:45,610 --> 00:44:49,330
about rings like, insanely accurately for, like,

719
00:44:49,330 --> 00:44:53,170
how I think about it. Yeah. Yeah. So I

720
00:44:53,170 --> 00:44:56,570
mean, it's just like I said realistically,

721
00:44:56,650 --> 00:44:59,530
like, just know it's going to be hard,

722
00:45:00,490 --> 00:45:04,250
but I think where, like, when I think about the episode,

723
00:45:04,250 --> 00:45:08,010
episode 10 of "The Summer I Turned Pretty" season three that we're

724
00:45:08,010 --> 00:45:11,690
discussing, I think, like, where the episode

725
00:45:11,690 --> 00:45:15,370
really gets it right in terms of, like, moving to France is

726
00:45:16,490 --> 00:45:19,930
like the feeling of moving to France. And why, even with all the

727
00:45:19,930 --> 00:45:23,760
craziness of, you know, overwhelming

728
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:27,440
moments, dealing with, you know, the French bureaucracy and, and the

729
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:31,280
French paper and navigating and trying to, like, get a

730
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,960
semblance of a life here, like, the feeling of living in France,

731
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,720
like, it cannot be replicated anywhere

732
00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:42,200
else. I feel like. And it's why people are

733
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,480
willing to move their lives here,

734
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:49,650
deal with everything, you know, crazy getting visas

735
00:45:49,650 --> 00:45:53,250
and, you know, figuring out their life in a different way is because

736
00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:56,930
it is so amazing here. So, like, you

737
00:45:56,930 --> 00:46:00,610
know, all the scenes of Belly, like, you know,

738
00:46:00,610 --> 00:46:04,290
going to plastivos or walking along

739
00:46:04,290 --> 00:46:07,890
the sun at golden hour. Like, things like that.

740
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:11,490
Like, and just that feeling of being there and, you know, enjoying the

741
00:46:11,490 --> 00:46:15,310
amazing French wine and French food and, like, the magic

742
00:46:15,310 --> 00:46:19,070
that comes with all that, like, that is. We

743
00:46:19,070 --> 00:46:22,830
felt that. Even in all the craziness, we felt that immediately, like,

744
00:46:22,830 --> 00:46:26,550
when we would, you know, get to. When we, you know, got our car. After,

745
00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:30,750
like, what, eight weeks of craziness getting our car, we

746
00:46:30,750 --> 00:46:33,430
finally got it. And then once we had wheels, it was, like,

747
00:46:33,990 --> 00:46:37,710
exploring, like, the Liberon Valley. And it was also, like,

748
00:46:37,710 --> 00:46:40,950
when things were starting to get, like, a little bit cooler and,

749
00:46:41,650 --> 00:46:45,210
like, seeing the vineyards for the first time and, like,

750
00:46:45,210 --> 00:46:48,930
watching the sunset over, like, the Golden Triangle and,

751
00:46:49,410 --> 00:46:53,130
you know, getting to, like, go see Cassie now that we were living there

752
00:46:53,130 --> 00:46:56,770
with the kids for the first time. And there's just so many

753
00:46:56,770 --> 00:47:00,450
little memories that, like, even though I look

754
00:47:00,450 --> 00:47:04,130
back and know it was so hard, like, it was

755
00:47:04,130 --> 00:47:07,330
also so magical because also, like,

756
00:47:08,110 --> 00:47:11,790
we were a little lost, but kind of

757
00:47:11,790 --> 00:47:15,470
also, like, in the best way, too, as anyone

758
00:47:15,470 --> 00:47:19,270
would be moving to a foreign country, because it's like. It's

759
00:47:19,270 --> 00:47:22,190
sort of like when you don't have anything to lose,

760
00:47:23,550 --> 00:47:27,390
you just kind of go and you kind of see where, like, the universe takes

761
00:47:27,390 --> 00:47:31,110
you in some ways. And it's been really cool to see, like, how, like,

762
00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:33,950
when I look back at the last few years and reflect and just think about

763
00:47:33,950 --> 00:47:37,790
those early days where I wasn't sure where, like, things

764
00:47:37,790 --> 00:47:41,550
might go, but, like, I had faith and I just

765
00:47:41,550 --> 00:47:44,910
sort of let things open as they have, and it's just so cool to look

766
00:47:44,910 --> 00:47:48,710
back and see how, like, doors have opened and people that we've met and,

767
00:47:49,110 --> 00:47:52,950
you know, just really integrated into a lot of different friendships

768
00:47:52,950 --> 00:47:56,590
and just the life here. So that's been super

769
00:47:56,590 --> 00:48:00,390
cool. And then also just, you know, some days

770
00:48:00,390 --> 00:48:03,750
are sweet, some days are bittersweet. Just, like, kind of how they showed in the

771
00:48:03,750 --> 00:48:07,390
episode with Belly. But it's like, there's just. There's, like, a

772
00:48:07,390 --> 00:48:11,070
slowness that marks the passage of time. And I do feel

773
00:48:11,070 --> 00:48:14,510
that way, even with kids, even with

774
00:48:14,750 --> 00:48:18,430
work, even with all the responsibilities that we have as parents.

775
00:48:19,870 --> 00:48:22,950
I mean, don't you feel that way? Like, it's just. There's still, like, so much

776
00:48:22,950 --> 00:48:26,630
more of a slowness. Like, every morning when I open. When I wake up and

777
00:48:26,630 --> 00:48:30,190
I open up the windows and I look over at the street,

778
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,040
and I just, like, take these moments

779
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,360
every single day where I'm, like, thankful for where I'm at. And

780
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,480
I do have all these, like, slow moments throughout the day that, like, they're not,

781
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,240
I mean, they're not long, but even if it's like a minute where I just

782
00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:48,880
get to, like, kind of reflect and be really grateful for, like, where we

783
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:52,560
are and that and, and that, and that's, and that's how France, I think, has

784
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:56,320
really changed me, for sure. I have my theories

785
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,700
on, like, why the culture is like that,

786
00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:03,860
you know, whether I get into that today or not. But I find that

787
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:08,620
because everybody here is looking at

788
00:49:08,620 --> 00:49:12,380
it that way, it does force you

789
00:49:12,380 --> 00:49:16,220
to, like, I, I don't have the level of

790
00:49:16,220 --> 00:49:20,060
anxiety I still do around work. I take things, you know,

791
00:49:20,060 --> 00:49:23,620
seriously, whether it's. It's with the kids or it's going to work,

792
00:49:23,620 --> 00:49:26,360
whatever. But I just find myself

793
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:29,880
not trying to rush

794
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:35,240
the way that I, the way that I used to. I mean, it was like,

795
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,800
before we had kids even, we were running around like chickens with our

796
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,240
heads cut off, like, trying to essentially

797
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:47,240
go to every single social event, you know,

798
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:51,320
say yes to every single work opportunity, even if we knew deep

799
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,160
down maybe it wasn't, like, the right one.

800
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:58,240
Just be busy, you know, because we wear. I feel like in America, you, like,

801
00:49:58,240 --> 00:50:01,360
wear that so much more as a badge of honor. And granted, we, we still

802
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:05,240
are that way. We'll. We will always be. I'm not saying that, like,

803
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:08,640
I just only saunter now, and I only,

804
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,600
like, take my time and don't give a fuck about being late. Like, I'm

805
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:16,200
still not like that. Like, I,

806
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,120
I, I can't remember if I talked about this or not, but I do remember

807
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,610
an experience where I was at a grocery store. This is, like,

808
00:50:24,130 --> 00:50:27,730
a long time ago, and they were doing some promotion about,

809
00:50:29,250 --> 00:50:32,810
like, sign up for their app and you'll get, like, money

810
00:50:32,810 --> 00:50:36,290
off, whatever. And, like, it came to be, like, €5 off.

811
00:50:36,770 --> 00:50:40,170
But for whatever reason, if it was settings on my phone this or that, I

812
00:50:40,170 --> 00:50:43,690
couldn't download the app. And I'm standing in line, and there's like, eight or nine

813
00:50:43,690 --> 00:50:47,410
people waiting in line. And it wasn't like big shopping carts. It was like

814
00:50:48,130 --> 00:50:51,770
a sandwich, a thing of, like, crackers and a

815
00:50:51,770 --> 00:50:55,530
drink. Like, they were clearly on their lunch break moving. And there was

816
00:50:55,530 --> 00:50:59,210
this American woman behind me, and I was like, hey, I, I

817
00:50:59,210 --> 00:51:02,250
don't really care about this. Like, this is taking too long. I just, I'll just

818
00:51:02,250 --> 00:51:05,170
buy it. It's not a big deal. And she's like, hey, no, no, do it.

819
00:51:05,250 --> 00:51:08,970
This is France. There's other lines. People can go to the other lines

820
00:51:08,970 --> 00:51:11,490
and, and buy there. They know that. And I was just like,

821
00:51:13,990 --> 00:51:17,710
that just seems really inconsiderate. Like, I get it, but

822
00:51:17,710 --> 00:51:20,630
it's for me to, like, get an app on my phone to save five bucks.

823
00:51:20,630 --> 00:51:23,990
Like, who gives a shit? Like, it is

824
00:51:25,430 --> 00:51:29,269
considerate and courteous to, like, yeah, I don't need to

825
00:51:29,269 --> 00:51:32,630
do this for myself right now. I'll do it when it's not the lunch rush

826
00:51:32,630 --> 00:51:36,350
hour. And that kind of, like, bothered me that it was

827
00:51:36,350 --> 00:51:38,630
like, you can't just say, this is France,

828
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:43,800
and just generalize that on everybody. Because we still

829
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:47,640
do hustle, we still do things, move quickly, try to get

830
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:51,200
things done. I just think that, like, our mentality around

831
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:55,200
when we can't do all of the things has changed, and

832
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,240
that feels very different. Yeah,

833
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:02,800
most definitely. So if you've already

834
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:06,490
watched the show and you're dreaming about moving to France,

835
00:52:06,730 --> 00:52:10,450
or if you haven't watched the show, you

836
00:52:10,450 --> 00:52:14,090
need to watch it or be. The fan or maybe.

837
00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:17,170
Or watch it. Or maybe you watch Emily in Paris. Like, whatever it is, like,

838
00:52:17,170 --> 00:52:20,329
all these shows that are coming out, you know, about France and Paris and all

839
00:52:20,329 --> 00:52:24,050
the things. But, like, the thing that I would say and the thing that I

840
00:52:24,050 --> 00:52:27,770
think sort of when you're watching these shows, I think it's awesome

841
00:52:27,770 --> 00:52:30,810
that they're showing their version of

842
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:35,360
life. Is it completely accurate? No. But what I would say is,

843
00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:40,000
for us, because there were so many things that did ring true. Like, I

844
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,880
think at the end of the day, it's important to

845
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:46,680
romanticize your life, for sure. But also, if you're

846
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:50,160
moving, like, you know, thinking about our first summer, like, be

847
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:53,880
ready for the hard moments, because, man, they come and they

848
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:57,330
come in, like, these waves where you feel like you get almost stuck in an

849
00:52:57,330 --> 00:53:00,530
undertow, and then you finally get a little breath, and then, like, something else will

850
00:53:00,530 --> 00:53:04,250
come up and, like, bring you back down. Yeah, but. But again. And

851
00:53:04,330 --> 00:53:08,090
on the other coin, I'm going back to. So make sure that you do also

852
00:53:08,090 --> 00:53:11,890
find the time to romanticize the moments that you can in

853
00:53:11,890 --> 00:53:15,330
that time as well. So. And I. And I. And I felt like the episode

854
00:53:15,330 --> 00:53:18,490
did a really good job of sort of, like, blending those two, because she had

855
00:53:18,490 --> 00:53:22,130
some really hard moments and some romantic moments. And so I think that's. That's

856
00:53:22,130 --> 00:53:25,180
awesome. But it's just like, knowing that,

857
00:53:25,820 --> 00:53:29,020
like, you know, when you're watching any show, like,

858
00:53:29,580 --> 00:53:33,340
things happen much faster. It is not instant. Things

859
00:53:33,340 --> 00:53:36,940
have taken so much time. And I. And we. We've said this, you know,

860
00:53:37,260 --> 00:53:39,980
lately, that we feel like finally, after two years,

861
00:53:40,860 --> 00:53:44,420
we feel like we've like, turned a corner and, like, we're meeting more people

862
00:53:44,420 --> 00:53:48,180
and things are feeling easier and we're, you know, speaking way more of

863
00:53:48,180 --> 00:53:51,200
the language, and it just. It feels good. Like,

864
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:55,360
you know, we. We went yesterday, we had

865
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,320
a really fun lunch with one of our

866
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:02,080
podcast guests, Kyong Miller, and her husband.

867
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:06,640
And we went to a restaurant that we have gone to

868
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:11,120
many times over the last two years. But I feel like now, like, the. The

869
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,560
owner really recognizes us and, like, we have a,

870
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:18,260
a good rapport. And it's, like, fun to, like, speak French with him now because

871
00:54:18,260 --> 00:54:20,860
when we first came, we were speaking a little bit more English, but now it's

872
00:54:20,860 --> 00:54:24,620
like, all French. So it's just. It's really fun. A super fun

873
00:54:24,620 --> 00:54:27,180
lunch, by the way. Yeah, it was a great lunch. Good times.

874
00:54:28,860 --> 00:54:32,380
That's why we love this podcast. But so I would just say, like, just nothing

875
00:54:32,380 --> 00:54:35,860
is instant. Everything takes time. You know, would I do that first

876
00:54:35,860 --> 00:54:39,698
summer over again, like, living here? Of course, of

877
00:54:39,698 --> 00:54:43,510
course. Nice. But, you know, just. Just

878
00:54:43,510 --> 00:54:47,270
knowing that, like, I think what I would tell myself before the move is

879
00:54:47,990 --> 00:54:51,590
probably have a little bit more grace and a little bit

880
00:54:51,590 --> 00:54:55,350
more kindness with myself knowing that, like, I

881
00:54:55,350 --> 00:54:58,790
like things. I mean, I'm type A. I like things to kind of be, like,

882
00:54:58,790 --> 00:55:02,630
good from the jump and just knowing that. That we are going to

883
00:55:02,630 --> 00:55:05,990
find ourselves through the chaos and the mess and the craziness,

884
00:55:06,630 --> 00:55:09,870
like, it will all come together, but just sort of. Sort of surrender a little

885
00:55:09,870 --> 00:55:13,720
bit more to what it is. It's easier said

886
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:16,720
than done. But if you're at least, like,

887
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:21,240
saying that to yourself, like, I'm gonna go

888
00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:24,800
easy on myself, like, it. It does

889
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:28,640
help. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So

890
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:32,360
for all of you that are, you know, watchers of "The summer I

891
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,800
turn prettier" for those of you who haven't watched it but, like, decided to stick

892
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,440
around, like, thank you so much. It was just fun to, like, kind of talk

893
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,200
about this because it really struck a chord with us and we thought it'd be,

894
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:45,260
like, a great episode to talk about. And, you know, I really

895
00:55:45,260 --> 00:55:48,860
would love for anyone listening to this podcast episode,

896
00:55:49,340 --> 00:55:53,060
like, DM us or comment on our latest post this

897
00:55:53,060 --> 00:55:56,060
week and just I want to invite you to share your own

898
00:55:56,540 --> 00:56:00,220
expat dreams and stories and maybe even just talk about,

899
00:56:00,300 --> 00:56:03,980
like, if there was a, you know, a show or a book

900
00:56:03,980 --> 00:56:07,780
or a movie that has inspired you also to make

901
00:56:07,780 --> 00:56:11,160
your own move. I like that because I like there's

902
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:15,240
so many great movies that, like, depict

903
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:19,000
a different perspective of that lifestyle. I'd be very curious

904
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:22,760
on what you, what you think

905
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:26,480
about. Yeah, let us, let us know. We would, we would love

906
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:30,280
to hear because it's fun to kind of share these collective stories together. And,

907
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:33,880
and that's why we're doing this. So on that note,

908
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,060
we'll have a new, fun, exciting guest next week. Week. But

909
00:56:38,060 --> 00:56:41,740
we will be back again in a few weeks just to

910
00:56:41,820 --> 00:56:45,540
update you guys on life. And thanks again for

911
00:56:45,540 --> 00:56:48,220
your time. See you next week. Bye.

912
00:56:49,260 --> 00:56:53,059
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. Don't forget

913
00:56:53,059 --> 00:56:56,660
to subscribe, rate us and leave a review if you love what you

914
00:56:56,660 --> 00:57:00,020
hear. And you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok

915
00:57:00,020 --> 00:57:03,750
@theeptons. See you guys soon.