WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:07.069 --> 00:00:09.369 Welcome to the Resilient Schools podcast. 00:00:09.369 --> 00:00:16.419 I am here live at the SDAC Bridging to Resilience Conference and interviewing 00:00:16.419 --> 00:00:17.989 several people from this conference. 00:00:18.019 --> 00:00:22.244 And Sarah, why don't you start by telling us a little bit about yourself. 00:00:22.249 --> 00:00:22.999 about yourself? 00:00:22.999 --> 00:00:25.239 I am a second grade teacher. 00:00:25.403 --> 00:00:29.669 I have three kids of my own been married to my husband for many years. 00:00:30.169 --> 00:00:34.839 I grew up in a very traditional household with a mom and a dad and 00:00:34.839 --> 00:00:37.629 never had to want for anything. 00:00:38.659 --> 00:00:44.289 And it wasn't until I started teaching that I realized how privileged I am. 00:00:46.179 --> 00:00:46.489 how privileged 00:00:47.854 --> 00:00:48.944 This is my second year. 00:00:49.479 --> 00:00:49.559 I am. 00:00:49.559 --> 00:00:50.449 This is my second year. 00:00:52.474 --> 00:00:52.734 Um, 00:00:53.947 --> 00:00:54.537 Do it now. 00:00:54.942 --> 00:00:59.702 I had my degree in education, and then we started having children, and so I 00:00:59.702 --> 00:01:03.202 decided that I needed to spend time with them at home, so I was at home 00:01:03.202 --> 00:01:08.162 with them for 12 years before I jumped back into the field of education. 00:01:08.222 --> 00:01:11.432 I worked for a year as an aide in the school that I'm at currently, 00:01:11.472 --> 00:01:16.242 and then a position opened up in second grade, and I took it. 00:01:16.907 --> 00:01:17.387 Okay. 00:01:17.918 --> 00:01:19.118 is this your kid's school? 00:01:19.308 --> 00:01:19.508 It is. 00:01:19.888 --> 00:01:20.288 Okay. 00:01:20.388 --> 00:01:23.233 You're there with your kids each day, and you're there with them? 00:01:23.533 --> 00:01:24.943 Kids in the community, right? 00:01:25.456 --> 00:01:30.475 And we just heard a little bit ago that you're the teacher of one of 00:01:30.475 --> 00:01:34.555 the people from SDAC who's putting the conference on and she said 00:01:34.565 --> 00:01:37.895 you're the best so That's good 00:01:38.070 --> 00:01:41.070 I had a tough act to follow too, cause her first grade teacher is 00:01:41.090 --> 00:01:44.480 phenomenal, that makes me feel like maybe I'm doing something right. 00:01:44.565 --> 00:01:49.725 Yeah so There are a lot of things that go into teaching and we're 00:01:49.725 --> 00:01:55.535 here at the Bridging to Resilience Conference talking about not much 00:01:55.615 --> 00:01:57.875 academic stuff, but the other stuff. 00:01:58.195 --> 00:01:59.295 Why are you here? 00:01:59.965 --> 00:02:07.075 We are a school that is focusing on the trauma informed care and really looking 00:02:07.075 --> 00:02:15.055 at the way we respond to our kids and they, we have, we've sent staff members 00:02:15.065 --> 00:02:19.095 to this conference for the last three or four years this year it was my turn. 00:02:19.834 --> 00:02:23.184 My principal reached out and just asked if I wanted to and I signed up without 00:02:23.194 --> 00:02:27.514 any without hesitation, but also without knowing exactly what I was getting into. 00:02:28.094 --> 00:02:28.814 What have you learned? 00:02:28.834 --> 00:02:31.224 What do you mean when you say you didn't know what you were getting into? 00:02:31.754 --> 00:02:32.314 I don't know. 00:02:32.454 --> 00:02:34.964 I don't think I expected to feel 00:02:34.964 --> 00:02:37.934 the raw emotion that has come with the last few days. 00:02:38.524 --> 00:02:44.784 Being able to hear the kids stories is so impactful. 00:02:45.294 --> 00:02:49.474 I teach second grade, so they're seven and eight years old, and they're not 00:02:49.484 --> 00:02:55.523 always going to be able to verbalize or want to verbalize how they feel at 00:02:55.523 --> 00:03:00.593 school, but to hear from the kids who are older and hear their experiences. 00:03:01.723 --> 00:03:06.143 Really makes you stop and think about the kind of impact that you're having on them. 00:03:06.758 --> 00:03:07.148 Yeah. 00:03:07.340 --> 00:03:12.005 do you feel this pressure on you now because you've come and experienced this? 00:03:13.113 --> 00:03:15.993 I think the only pressure I feel is to love them more. 00:03:16.498 --> 00:03:16.588 them. 00:03:16.918 --> 00:03:18.908 Oh, wow. 00:03:19.838 --> 00:03:21.218 Sarah, that is powerful. 00:03:21.581 --> 00:03:22.631 Why do you feel that? 00:03:24.326 --> 00:03:28.566 Because there's so many of them that, that don't have that. 00:03:28.900 --> 00:03:33.110 And they can't learn until they're loved and until they feel safe. 00:03:33.315 --> 00:03:33.735 Yeah. 00:03:35.265 --> 00:03:39.435 I tell my kids almost every day, my number one job is to keep them safe. 00:03:39.975 --> 00:03:42.875 And lots of times that's because we're making choices that aren't 00:03:42.875 --> 00:03:44.505 keeping us safe in our classroom. 00:03:45.085 --> 00:03:51.512 But I also want them to know that before anything else, I'm here for them. 00:03:51.938 --> 00:03:53.348 I'm here to keep them safe. 00:03:53.428 --> 00:03:54.688 I'm here to love on them. 00:03:54.912 --> 00:03:58.582 And then we'll worry about whether you know your edition facts or whether 00:03:58.582 --> 00:04:00.202 you know how to read this paragraph. 00:04:00.797 --> 00:04:04.527 I think that if you really dug into this thing that you just said, 00:04:04.927 --> 00:04:06.397 that you need to love them more. 00:04:07.077 --> 00:04:13.187 And if that was your priority, the safety, the learning, the academics. 00:04:13.617 --> 00:04:16.127 All of that would follow behind it. 00:04:17.277 --> 00:04:18.467 Is that how you feel too? 00:04:18.622 --> 00:04:19.412 Absolutely. 00:04:19.767 --> 00:04:22.007 So why do you feel like love is so important? 00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:24.969 Because it's lacking in so many of their lives. 00:04:27.464 --> 00:04:27.834 Yeah. 00:04:27.899 --> 00:04:30.929 Just, to the degree that it needs to be there. 00:04:31.075 --> 00:04:35.695 I know I can do that with my children, but if all of the children in our 00:04:36.245 --> 00:04:41.075 classroom or school or community aren't feeling that, then we're 00:04:41.075 --> 00:04:43.065 not setting them up for success. 00:04:43.065 --> 00:04:43.075 I 00:04:44.260 --> 00:04:44.650 Yeah. 00:04:45.480 --> 00:04:46.790 I think that's really powerful. 00:04:46.930 --> 00:04:50.850 I recently read a book called The Law of Love by former 00:04:50.860 --> 00:04:52.690 49ers quarterback, Steve Young. 00:04:53.460 --> 00:05:00.334 And who would have thought that a NFL quarterback would write a book called The 00:05:00.334 --> 00:05:03.974 Law of Love, but it was really amazing. 00:05:03.974 --> 00:05:08.525 And he talked about how loving others is essential. 00:05:09.091 --> 00:05:17.041 So many times we are transactional in things, especially in schools, and it 00:05:17.041 --> 00:05:23.071 can be really tough, but he talks about loving people without transaction, loving 00:05:23.071 --> 00:05:29.851 people without expectation of anything in return, and how that is so powerful. 00:05:29.931 --> 00:05:32.691 What does that look like in a second grade classroom for you? 00:05:33.117 --> 00:05:37.187 that means showing up every day, regardless of how the 00:05:37.187 --> 00:05:42.847 day before went, regardless of what's going on in my own life. 00:05:42.877 --> 00:05:44.347 It means showing up for them. 00:05:45.147 --> 00:05:50.536 Being a steady figure for them, being consistent, greeting them at the door, 00:05:51.163 --> 00:05:56.873 letting them know that they matter, developing those relationships to 00:05:59.953 --> 00:06:02.243 just give them a little bit of comfort. 00:06:03.153 --> 00:06:06.883 Yeah and the things that you're describing are really things 00:06:06.883 --> 00:06:10.573 where you know them individually. 00:06:11.098 --> 00:06:13.898 And you know them as people first. 00:06:14.908 --> 00:06:16.628 How do you do that in your classroom? 00:06:17.224 --> 00:06:21.374 It's little things, it's little conversations that lead to more 00:06:21.854 --> 00:06:24.874 It's starting with hobbies, it's starting with what did you do this 00:06:24.874 --> 00:06:28.912 weekend it's Taking an interest in what they take an interest in. 00:06:29.677 --> 00:06:29.747 in what they 00:06:29.892 --> 00:06:35.672 I had so many kids last year that loved Pokemon, and I do not love Pokemon. 00:06:36.372 --> 00:06:40.132 But I got those cards out and we looked at them and we talked about them. 00:06:40.132 --> 00:06:41.612 We designed our own cards. 00:06:42.162 --> 00:06:46.326 It's just Finding a way to make a connection with each one of them 00:06:46.846 --> 00:06:49.639 and it's not all gonna be the same because they're not the same kids 00:06:51.066 --> 00:06:57.416 but I think you doing a whole class activity with Pokemon cards made the 00:06:57.416 --> 00:07:02.461 kids who don't like Pokemon also feel like Maybe she'll do something for me. 00:07:02.885 --> 00:07:07.565 What would that look like for you, going forward from here, to show 00:07:07.565 --> 00:07:11.305 more love, to understand them better? 00:07:11.405 --> 00:07:15.725 What are some this is what I'm gonna do now, what are some takeaways for you? 00:07:15.905 --> 00:07:16.965 It's overwhelming, right? 00:07:17.610 --> 00:07:18.380 firehose. 00:07:18.610 --> 00:07:20.320 The last few days have felt like a firehose. 00:07:20.320 --> 00:07:22.880 And I'm one of those people that want to take everything that you 00:07:22.880 --> 00:07:26.300 do, everything that you learn, and apply it all right away. 00:07:26.820 --> 00:07:31.118 And I, it's gonna take a little bit for me to really digest and figure out. 00:07:32.078 --> 00:07:34.838 What's the first thing that, aside from walking into that classroom 00:07:34.838 --> 00:07:37.798 tomorrow morning and giving them all hugs and loving on them, 00:07:38.478 --> 00:07:39.538 that's a good first step. 00:07:40.358 --> 00:07:41.038 Don't you think? 00:07:41.048 --> 00:07:41.078 I do. 00:07:41.428 --> 00:07:41.688 I do. 00:07:42.338 --> 00:07:42.628 And 00:07:43.128 --> 00:07:45.668 And so you've missed them while you've been gone. 00:07:46.378 --> 00:07:48.158 And why have you missed them so much? 00:07:49.568 --> 00:07:53.918 I think because they make just as much of an impact on me as I 00:07:53.918 --> 00:07:55.328 could potentially make on them. 00:07:56.918 --> 00:07:59.118 We're a family at this point in the year. 00:07:59.118 --> 00:08:00.598 It's been three months and we, 00:08:01.918 --> 00:08:02.138 good 00:08:02.138 --> 00:08:06.208 and bad it's a family and we all need each other. 00:08:12.967 --> 00:08:14.047 What are you going to do next? 00:08:15.322 --> 00:08:17.122 step is going to keep pouring into the relationship. 00:08:18.937 --> 00:08:23.287 letting them know individually that I see them, that I'm here for them, 00:08:23.307 --> 00:08:27.038 that they're safe and they're loved and I'm going to be there regardless. 00:08:29.848 --> 00:08:33.146 see them, that I care for them, that they're safe there regardless. 00:08:33.146 --> 00:08:33.240 Yeah. 00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:34.177 You're young in your teaching career, but experienced in life. 00:08:34.177 --> 00:08:41.240 And what lessons outside of the classroom do you bring to bear for your students? 00:08:41.987 --> 00:08:44.927 I think I bring us a bit of resiliency myself. 00:08:45.467 --> 00:08:47.077 I never give up attitude. 00:08:49.292 --> 00:08:50.852 Always seeing the good in others. 00:08:50.926 --> 00:08:51.873 good 00:08:52.275 --> 00:08:54.135 Just trying to make the world a better place. 00:08:56.955 --> 00:08:59.085 the world a better place. 00:08:59.095 --> 00:08:59.115 Yeah. 00:08:59.355 --> 00:09:01.825 Those a profound impact, don't you think? 00:09:02.297 --> 00:09:03.457 So you've learned a ton. 00:09:03.777 --> 00:09:07.157 You got all these fire hose coming at ya. 00:09:07.737 --> 00:09:09.167 What questions do you still have? 00:09:09.167 --> 00:09:13.737 What things are you still trying to understand and figure out? 00:09:14.152 --> 00:09:14.642 I don't know. 00:09:14.652 --> 00:09:18.342 How do we help the kids that just aren't ready yet? 00:09:19.637 --> 00:09:20.557 Aren't ready for what? 00:09:21.094 --> 00:09:23.854 Aren't ready to open up to a relationship. 00:09:24.354 --> 00:09:25.544 Aren't ready to... 00:09:26.239 --> 00:09:26.909 Trust. 00:09:27.684 --> 00:09:29.494 I don't want to leave anybody behind. 00:09:30.604 --> 00:09:33.984 I don't want anybody to walk out of my classroom not knowing that they're loved. 00:09:34.484 --> 00:09:37.574 To think that I, that any of them , it just breaks my heart. 00:09:38.064 --> 00:09:38.574 to just 00:09:39.504 --> 00:09:40.144 How do we help, 00:09:40.964 --> 00:09:42.334 how do we help the hardest kids? 00:09:42.659 --> 00:09:43.019 Yeah. 00:09:43.034 --> 00:09:46.341 How do we get through to them that we are who we say we are? 00:09:46.526 --> 00:09:50.036 That they can trust us, that they will be loved, regardless of... 00:09:50.919 --> 00:09:54.639 I think that's the love that we were talking about without transaction. 00:09:54.839 --> 00:09:57.119 Like it doesn't matter what you do. 00:09:57.509 --> 00:09:58.199 I still love you. 00:09:58.199 --> 00:09:59.249 I still care about you. 00:09:59.749 --> 00:10:00.839 You still matter. 00:10:00.889 --> 00:10:01.759 You're still worthy. 00:10:03.109 --> 00:10:03.469 Yeah. 00:10:04.089 --> 00:10:08.889 I'm excited to see what you do with that because I can see in your 00:10:08.889 --> 00:10:14.359 face that this is not just like a casual, Oh yeah, that'd be cool. 00:10:14.459 --> 00:10:16.109 Let me give an answer to this question. 00:10:16.199 --> 00:10:20.819 That's like the thing that looks like it's really weighing on you. 00:10:21.109 --> 00:10:24.189 That's the part where, and I imagine you probably have a kid or two in 00:10:24.189 --> 00:10:30.129 mind that are resisting your attempts to, to make them feel loved and. 00:10:30.534 --> 00:10:32.324 Let me ask you a little different question. 00:10:33.254 --> 00:10:36.314 Do they need to reciprocate for them to feel your love? 00:10:36.782 --> 00:10:37.332 No. 00:10:37.427 --> 00:10:37.677 not? 00:10:38.181 --> 00:10:42.741 I guess as long as I'm giving it at some point they're gonna realize. 00:10:43.124 --> 00:10:43.524 Yeah. 00:10:44.264 --> 00:10:45.754 I think you're absolutely right. 00:10:45.844 --> 00:10:48.864 And I think that point's going to come a lot earlier than their 00:10:48.884 --> 00:10:50.704 actions are going to show it. 00:10:51.274 --> 00:10:55.069 In my work with teachers, one of the things they think is that If they're 00:10:55.069 --> 00:11:01.229 not getting the same thing back, then it's not there, but that's not true. 00:11:01.599 --> 00:11:05.889 And especially working in situations where kids have experienced trauma 00:11:05.939 --> 00:11:10.459 you can feel like I failed because they never opened up to you. 00:11:11.109 --> 00:11:13.319 But that's not what's important. 00:11:13.819 --> 00:11:18.449 What's important is you consistently showing them that you love them. 00:11:18.864 --> 00:11:22.024 That you're there for them, that doesn't matter what they 00:11:22.024 --> 00:11:25.154 do, you still care about them. 00:11:25.934 --> 00:11:27.684 Those things are what really matters. 00:11:28.234 --> 00:11:32.194 And all too often we get stuck in a trap as teachers thinking, I 00:11:32.194 --> 00:11:34.324 need them to open back up to me. 00:11:34.914 --> 00:11:35.774 But you don't. 00:11:36.674 --> 00:11:39.234 To show them love, you don't need them to ever open up to you. 00:11:39.684 --> 00:11:41.404 Do you believe that, or does that sound 00:11:41.737 --> 00:11:42.247 crazy? 00:11:42.383 --> 00:11:43.493 you 00:11:46.853 --> 00:11:52.563 don't Because I think that I tie so much to their response as far as whether 00:11:52.563 --> 00:11:54.923 they're receiving it the way I intend it. 00:11:55.033 --> 00:11:55.873 Does that make sense? 00:11:55.903 --> 00:11:56.413 Sure. 00:11:56.881 --> 00:12:01.201 you just come to expect some sort of response when you give. 00:12:01.721 --> 00:12:04.011 And for some of those kids, it's, they're just not, 00:12:05.341 --> 00:12:05.501 they 00:12:05.501 --> 00:12:06.481 just can't get it. 00:12:06.921 --> 00:12:07.161 Yeah. 00:12:07.201 --> 00:12:07.571 Or they 00:12:08.801 --> 00:12:09.621 Or they won't, yeah. 00:12:09.971 --> 00:12:14.811 So the thing about that is getting something back from them. 00:12:15.801 --> 00:12:17.921 We need love too, right? 00:12:18.381 --> 00:12:24.241 And so we desire that and hope for it, but true love is 00:12:24.241 --> 00:12:26.061 loving them regardless of that. 00:12:26.441 --> 00:12:26.721 Yeah. 00:12:27.071 --> 00:12:31.571 And so you're going to have students that are never going to open up and 00:12:31.571 --> 00:12:35.541 show you that love back, but they'll still know that you love them. 00:12:35.891 --> 00:12:36.671 And that's what matters. 00:12:37.286 --> 00:12:37.896 That's right. 00:12:38.296 --> 00:12:39.326 But it's hard to see that 00:12:39.796 --> 00:12:40.016 It is. 00:12:40.666 --> 00:12:42.826 because you want that reciprocation. 00:12:43.056 --> 00:12:48.546 You want that transaction, but you can't always have it. 00:12:48.566 --> 00:12:48.856 No. 00:12:49.389 --> 00:12:54.809 So I think that in that situation, when that doesn't come back, it becomes 00:12:54.809 --> 00:12:59.279 really difficult because you want it and you feel like you need it. 00:12:59.789 --> 00:13:02.179 But the reality is you don't actually need it. 00:13:02.179 --> 00:13:02.869 You just want it. 00:13:03.254 --> 00:13:03.514 Yeah. 00:13:04.419 --> 00:13:04.759 Yeah. 00:13:05.159 --> 00:13:05.639 Okay. 00:13:07.379 --> 00:13:15.142 If you could take one thing from the fire hose and just pull out the simplest 00:13:15.222 --> 00:13:17.312 way you can explain it to somebody else. 00:13:17.392 --> 00:13:19.972 You don't have to get it perfect, you don't have all the 00:13:20.352 --> 00:13:21.842 details, none of that matters. 00:13:22.332 --> 00:13:25.872 One simple thing that you can pull out from something that you've 00:13:25.872 --> 00:13:29.109 learned that you're like, this is the thing I want to remember. 00:13:29.109 --> 00:13:29.649 What would that 00:13:29.649 --> 00:13:29.899 be? 00:13:30.461 --> 00:13:34.772 Stacey Nation said something yesterday about how empathy will 00:13:34.772 --> 00:13:36.612 lead you to the right answers. 00:13:36.857 --> 00:13:37.467 Nation 00:13:38.007 --> 00:13:42.737 And it's highlighted, it's circled and starred in my notes and I think 00:13:42.737 --> 00:13:46.587 that's something that I'm going to carry with me for a long time. 00:13:47.617 --> 00:13:47.877 Yeah. 00:13:48.607 --> 00:13:48.997 Cool. 00:13:49.377 --> 00:13:52.407 Sarah, thank you so much for being part of Resilient Schools. 00:13:52.407 --> 00:13:53.217 This was awesome. 00:13:53.567 --> 00:13:56.107 I know it was a little nerve wracking, but I'm so proud of you. 00:13:56.107 --> 00:13:57.107 You did a great job. 00:13:57.157 --> 00:13:58.617 This was a wonderful conversation. 00:13:58.627 --> 00:13:59.007 Thank you.