WEBVTT

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This file was generated by Descript 

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Well, hello everyone.

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Hello.

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Good evening.

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Um, yeah, well, good morning or good
afternoon, depending on where you are.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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I still forget about that bit.

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Yes.

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It's a, it's a global world, Tina.

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Yeah.

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But yeah, all around the world.

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Is it not just, uh, you know,
UK centric anymore, is it?

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Unless, of course you're part
of the Flat Earth Society, in

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which case it's all across the.

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Flatness.

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I guess

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so how have you been?

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Because I haven't spoken
to you much this month.

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I understand you've been busy, isn't it?

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You It's been four moons and
coming up to Halloween and, oh,

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there's lots of stuff going.

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Keeps you busy, doesn't it?

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Yeah, yeah.

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It's, I'm saying I've up, what I'm
replying, I've dusted off the Broome

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and yeah, I've been out exploring.

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There's been a hot, there's been a, yeah,
Hunter's Moon, always a hunter's moon.

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Just before Halloween is there.

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Yeah, it's been, it's
been quite interesting.

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I dunno about you, but there's a lot
of people talking about planetary

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aspects and uh, how, you know Yeah.

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The solar system and beyond has
really affected them at the moment.

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I, yeah.

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Do you think we are just
becoming more aware?

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'cause I mean, for years and years and
years, there was always a few days of the

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month that I never, ever slept very well.

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Um, and because boys or men or males would
say, oh, was it that time of the month?

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And it wasn't necessarily.

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Um, and it was only as I got older that
I realized it was connected to the moon.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, so whenever there was a full moon,
'cause when there's a full moon, the

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magnetic shield around the planet changes.

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Oh, that explains when my, my
hair keeps standing on end.

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Yeah.

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Well, luckily mine doesn't.

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Good look a bit weird.

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Mind you, I could be very Bri
of Frankenstein, couldn't I?

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With a big white thing, Leonard.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So we, we, getting to that
time of the year, aren't we?

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Where, you know, um, certainly in
the uk the evenings are closing in.

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It's dark now.

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Uh, it's been dark
since about six o'clock.

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It's dark in the morning.

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And, um, I think there's a, there's
a, there's um, and it's a huge mind

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read, but there seems to be like
this, uh, this mood of so many people.

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So looking forwards to
Christmas and being.

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Shocked that it's not far away,
but also looking forward to it.

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'cause they've had such a lousy year,
you can't wait for it to get over.

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I'm looking forward to December because
I found out the other day 'cause I was

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gonna go on a trip for my birthday.

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I found out the other day that Joey has
got me tickets to go and see Tom Jones.

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Oh nice.

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Yeah, but we owe too, so
it's not a usual want to do.

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Yeah.

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So even, even us n peers are looking for
external to change internal, aren't we?

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Of course.

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Oh that's great.

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No, that's good.

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Um, I'm looking forward is
to maybe get away with, might

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go somewhere like Iceland.

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I just ice.

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I just feel the urge.

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Urge to go somewhere.

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I've been to Iceland before.

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Uh, feel the urge to go somewhere.

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A little bit risque.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Some go across an ice sheet
or something like that.

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High cup, high cup of volcano.

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Just do something a little bit different.

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Yeah, that just to, just
to finish off actually.

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Well I think it's been
a really cracking year.

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Well, I, yeah, I'm gonna go back to
Spain and see my friend, uh, and stay

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in Spain for a week before Christmas.

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Um, so, so I'm just gonna say
here 'cause we've got, people are

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popping up and saying hello and,
and we have thumbs and things.

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Mm-hmm.

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I'm tracking what's going on here.

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Um, so it's, um, when Sarah Marco in Aroma
and of course says Hi Jane and everybody,

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I can't, I can't see all the names
'cause then I wouldn't be looking at you.

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Uh, so Hello everybody.

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Uh, we are just discussing how we're
gonna finish off the year with a bang.

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Steve's gonna do it in the
ice and the snow in Iceland.

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Maybe go and see Santa.

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Mm-hmm.

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Iceland or Finland, something like that.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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But I've dunno about you.

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It's been a pretty good year.

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I've enjoyed this year so far.

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It's not over yet, but still October.

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Um, but it's so easy, I think,
isn't it, to get caught up in

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the, you know, massive hypnosis.

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Yeah.

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Unless we're NLPs and we realize
what's going on and how easy it is

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to mind read and be affected by other
people's states are being, and you

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think is to step out of whatever
anybody's trying to pull you into.

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Mm-hmm.

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And people start looking for weird stuff.

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I mean, we've got this question here
I'm gonna start off with from Robert.

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Um, so Hi Robert.

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He says he's received an inquiry.

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From a lady who believes she has repressed
memories of her childhood of a trauma and

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has asked if I could help recover them.

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Now I could offer her regression.

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Uh, but he, he wants to
know what we would do.

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And, and if he was to unearth,
unearth, buried abuse, would

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the client actually benefit?

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And he is also worried that he
could implant a false memory

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and thus create, um, a lawsuit.

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That's a really meaty question.

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Yeah.

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Nice.

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Easy one to, yeah.

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Yeah.

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To start off, start the evening off with.

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Yeah.

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I just have a sip of water.

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You have a sip of water.

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So I get a lot of people
that contact me and say.

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Um, I suffered from anxiety,
obsessive compulsive, or this or

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something else all of my life.

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And I was talking to my friend and she
said something really bad must have

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happened to me when I was a child.

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Or they say, well, you know, I was
reading this book about somebody

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who had something like I had
and they were abused as a child.

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Do you think that could be me?

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Could you help me go and find out?

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Um, and my answer is actually no.

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I'm not gonna do that.

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Now, Steve and I, we both present
ourselves as being solution focused.

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It's one of the things I
love about the whole NLP.

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Yeah.

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The best thing about
the past is it's over.

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You don't have to do that anymore.

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So I love the fact that, you know,
if there is, if somebody comes

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and they have been traumatized.

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There are things we could do to
take them back, disassociated, clear

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it all up and then move forward.

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But the problem is, if you go and
look for something and they don't even

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know what it is, you're not gonna know
whether the unconscious thinks, ah,

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you, you think that this happened?

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I wonder what that would be like.

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And then creates a scenario
for you or a memory for you.

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And there have actually been instances
of hypnotists taking clients back to an

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earlier time, um, and, and they've come
up with stories about they were raped or

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they were abused, or this happened or that
happened when in fact nothing happened.

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It was a false memory.

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So I would never offer
my services to do that.

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I would explain that I'm solution
focused if they've got a goal they

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want to work on or work towards.

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So if they're suffering from
anxiety or depression, I can

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help them work towards that goal.

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But I'm not gonna go and look for
something that might not be there.

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And I'm smiling 'cause I've got a
puppy whip it down here eating my foot.

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I'm trying to be all, all author
authoritative, and I've got this weird

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puppy down here chewing on my foot.

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So I'm sorry guys.

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You did really well.

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Okay.

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You still came across
as professional, Tina.

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Don't worry about it.

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Um, yeah, I mean, I, I, I'm
totally in agreement with,

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with Tina's approach to this.

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Um, it's been probably about seven,
eight years since I've really did any

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real therapeutic work in any sort of
volume or quantity working with people.

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Um, but in what seems like a previous
life now, 10 years ago, there were

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many people that used to come in,
who'd been through traumas and the

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natural tendencies to look for.

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The triggers and the whys and the
reasoning and to make sense of it.

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I get that.

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But as Tina says, with solution
focus, it's really the question

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is, well, what do you want someone
like that's already coming in

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with the questions in their mind?

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They're presupposing.

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There's something there and you
tend to find, and it's a huge, you

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know, uh, generalization that people
will find what they go looking

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for, and we never really know.

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Um, so I wouldn't be taken on a
client that comes in, um, looking for

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something like that, you know, looking
for the answers to those questions.

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I'd, I'd suggest they go and see
somebody else actually in that instance.

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Well, there are, uh, like
psycho therapists Yeah.

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Who therapy and there and
there are even, um, regressive.

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Clinical hypnotherapist that
will quite happily take you back.

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Yeah, I think it's a minefield actually.

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And it just, just occurred to me, I
did some work up in North London, um,

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oh, this was a long time ago, so it
was probably about 16 years ago, and

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it was a mother rang up and wanted
me to work with her son, and I can't

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remember why they actually took on
the, the case, but actually went there.

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I got, it's a vague distant memory
and it turned out that, um, that in

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the news there was a lot, lot of news
about, um, teachers abusing children.

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Okay.

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So there was a case in North London
and what happened is the school boys

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in this particular school all started
talking together and started to get

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worried about whether they had the
potential to be abusers as well.

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Okay.

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And then they made the mistake of
talking to their mothers about this.

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So I ended up getting the calls from
the moms to work with the children.

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And it was, what was interesting
was how easy it was for everyone

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to get caught up in looking for
a problem that wasn't there.

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Yeah, it is.

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Yeah.

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It's, and, and there are cases where
people have acquired false memories.

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Mm-hmm.

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I mean, I know of somebody who actually
came to see me years and years ago.

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You've just reminded me.

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Years and years ago she went
to see this, um, hypnotherapist

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about her anxiety issues.

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And the hypnotherapist said, people
who have these kind of conditions

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have usually been sexually abused.

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Um, and but the, at the end of
the session, she came out and

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she needed antidepressants.

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And when she came to see me, she said,
I just need you to close this door.

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'cause it's like a door's been open.

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Now I'm looking for stuff and I'm
thinking, well, you know, was it my uncle?

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Was it my dad?

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Was it my granddad?

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Was it, um, and it caused
her all sorts of problems.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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The brain then presupposes
something's true.

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Yeah.

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Um, and actually again, we
keep being reminded of things.

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Um, again, it seems like a past life.

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Someone I, I knew who I
don't keep contact with.

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Once I'd got into coaching and,
and therapy and NLP, they followed

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me about a year and a half later.

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Um, but they went down a
slightly different route.

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It was a very authoritarian
type of hypnosis.

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And I actually did some training with
the person that they trained with, so

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I know exactly the approach they had.

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So it was very authoritative, hypnosis
regress back to the issue and do almost

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like, um, a change personal history.

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Mm-hmm.

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In fact, it wasn't
almost, it was a change.

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Personal history.

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It presupposes that someone, first of all,
knew what the problem was, it was related

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to a person, and that changed personal
history, was the answer to everything.

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Yeah.

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And I remember having a conversation
with this, it was an old colleague

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of mine, and I said, well, what if
there is no past issue with a person

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who said, oh, we'll always find one.

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And that was the point I decided
I don't, I don't want any more

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dealings with this particular person.

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Oh no, I don't like that at all.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So it is a bit of a minefield.

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I personally would keep
clear of something like that.

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Um, and, uh, it doesn't mean I
wouldn't work with someone, but

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my, my approach to it would be,
what, what do you actually want?

00:13:21.975 --> 00:13:24.735
You know, let's look at the folk,
let's look at the solutions.

00:13:25.245 --> 00:13:26.954
Let's look at the outcomes
that you're after.

00:13:29.295 --> 00:13:32.240
So the next, there's a nice, nice
light one to start the evening off.

00:13:32.310 --> 00:13:34.275
It's a nice light one
to start the evening.

00:13:34.425 --> 00:13:39.525
Okay, so the next one I've got
here is thinking of gems like

00:13:39.555 --> 00:13:42.015
John Val's karmic cleanup.

00:13:42.705 --> 00:13:46.575
I love how NLP provides a wealth
of skills and techniques that we

00:13:46.575 --> 00:13:48.135
could develop and use creatively.

00:13:48.825 --> 00:13:52.485
I'd love to hear your
examples of creative NLP.

00:13:54.675 --> 00:13:55.875
Where do you start with that?

00:13:56.439 --> 00:13:56.760
I know.

00:13:57.900 --> 00:13:59.984
I'm like, oh, I love, I love it.

00:13:59.984 --> 00:14:00.734
I do love it.

00:14:00.824 --> 00:14:03.584
Um, it's like NLP is creative.

00:14:03.885 --> 00:14:04.545
Yeah.

00:14:04.545 --> 00:14:06.824
That's the thing I love about NLP.

00:14:06.824 --> 00:14:09.734
It's not a thing, there's
not a dogma to it.

00:14:10.395 --> 00:14:13.396
Although you would think there
would be sometimes if you Yeah.

00:14:13.401 --> 00:14:15.344
You read too much of the
literature that's out there.

00:14:15.885 --> 00:14:20.655
Um, there's no limit to the
patterns that we can come up with.

00:14:20.655 --> 00:14:23.594
There's no limit to the applications.

00:14:24.285 --> 00:14:24.344
Yeah.

00:14:24.344 --> 00:14:27.104
You know, we're only
limited by our creativity.

00:14:27.104 --> 00:14:28.905
And our creativity knows no limits.

00:14:29.324 --> 00:14:33.464
Um, I mean, I love the fact that you
go, and, and I know most of the people

00:14:33.464 --> 00:14:38.025
watching us, uh, have had some kind
of NLP training or I'm kind of gonna

00:14:38.025 --> 00:14:39.974
make that mind read that assumption.

00:14:40.635 --> 00:14:44.535
Um, I love the fact that when you
do your training, you're given all

00:14:44.535 --> 00:14:49.935
these different elements and from
what you learn on your practitioner,

00:14:49.935 --> 00:14:52.964
you can create whatever's needed.

00:14:54.285 --> 00:15:01.635
So the whole basis of having NLP
is all you do is put it together.

00:15:01.965 --> 00:15:04.995
You take a little bit from there, a
little bit from there, and you put it

00:15:04.995 --> 00:15:07.125
with that bit and that bit over there.

00:15:07.130 --> 00:15:07.440
Mm-hmm.

00:15:07.515 --> 00:15:11.415
And then you just create something
that matches what your client needs.

00:15:12.075 --> 00:15:12.375
Yeah.

00:15:12.375 --> 00:15:19.635
It's, it's having a huge toy box
of Lego, um, most of which is, um,

00:15:19.875 --> 00:15:21.825
linguistic or submodalities, I think.

00:15:21.870 --> 00:15:23.415
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:24.060 --> 00:15:28.125
Me open up a submodality tray, the
submodality, and it's all linked together.

00:15:28.125 --> 00:15:28.335
Yeah.

00:15:28.335 --> 00:15:31.725
It's one of those boxes that
opens up like this, and you go,

00:15:31.965 --> 00:15:33.285
okay, how creative can I be?

00:15:33.285 --> 00:15:35.325
I mean, it's one of the things
I loved about the practice

00:15:35.325 --> 00:15:36.735
group when we first started it.

00:15:37.109 --> 00:15:43.949
Uh, Tina back in 2004 when we
used to meet live on the first

00:15:43.949 --> 00:15:48.390
Thursday of the month, that we
would ask people, what do you want?

00:15:48.599 --> 00:15:48.930
Okay.

00:15:48.930 --> 00:15:52.500
So it wouldn't be, we would then impose
what we wanted to train on the group.

00:15:53.010 --> 00:15:58.109
We'd ask the group and um, and
sometimes you didn't get anything back.

00:15:58.439 --> 00:15:58.739
Okay.

00:15:59.670 --> 00:16:02.219
So you, we'd have to
be creative on the day.

00:16:02.219 --> 00:16:05.910
And some of the best, um, practice
group sessions were certainly

00:16:05.910 --> 00:16:07.319
best from my perspective.

00:16:07.680 --> 00:16:12.449
And the ones I enjoyed were where
we came up with things on the spot.

00:16:12.449 --> 00:16:15.719
There was one where I remember
saying to the group, I've never

00:16:15.719 --> 00:16:19.260
done this before, but who wants
to play with per personal space?

00:16:20.099 --> 00:16:23.489
So per personal space is our
awareness of where we are.

00:16:23.849 --> 00:16:28.260
Like, there's my finger, I know there's
my nose, and I have this awareness.

00:16:28.260 --> 00:16:34.260
There's like, uh, geometry and geography
that I, I know where I am in space

00:16:34.260 --> 00:16:35.849
so I can pick up this drink and.

00:16:36.375 --> 00:16:37.844
Don't accidentally tip over my head.

00:16:37.844 --> 00:16:38.865
I know where my mouth is.

00:16:38.865 --> 00:16:39.104
Yeah.

00:16:41.025 --> 00:16:45.885
But I've been reading about
people's ability to literally

00:16:45.885 --> 00:16:48.135
touch other people energetically.

00:16:48.795 --> 00:16:48.824
Mm.

00:16:49.814 --> 00:16:54.285
So we just did some really creative,
getting people standing next to

00:16:54.285 --> 00:16:58.484
each other and imagining reaching
out and touching the other person.

00:17:00.645 --> 00:17:01.844
And we got some incredible results.

00:17:01.844 --> 00:17:05.534
Now, a lot of it was down to the
pre-frame, you know, so it wasn't, uh, the

00:17:05.534 --> 00:17:07.724
pre-frame wasn't never done this before.

00:17:07.724 --> 00:17:09.494
Guys, no idea how this is gonna work.

00:17:09.494 --> 00:17:12.014
The pre-frame was, we're
gonna explore something new.

00:17:12.014 --> 00:17:14.264
Let's just see what
amazing results we get.

00:17:15.555 --> 00:17:19.905
And we just played and we just
experimented and we just explored

00:17:19.905 --> 00:17:23.775
and came up with new ways of,
you know, connecting with people.

00:17:23.895 --> 00:17:26.055
And I, I love those sessions.

00:17:26.595 --> 00:17:29.745
We're kind of just making things
up and on the spot and finding

00:17:29.745 --> 00:17:31.275
out things by experimentation.

00:17:32.145 --> 00:17:36.975
I think my favorite of the practice
group was the one where we delved

00:17:36.975 --> 00:17:43.935
into all the different elements of,
of deep rapport and synchronization.

00:17:44.385 --> 00:17:44.565
Mm-hmm.

00:17:44.805 --> 00:17:49.965
Paying attention to, um,
calibrating to what other people

00:17:49.965 --> 00:17:51.495
were thinking and feeling.

00:17:51.795 --> 00:17:51.825
Mm.

00:17:51.825 --> 00:17:57.105
Mind reading to such an extent
that not only could you see

00:17:57.105 --> 00:17:58.695
the other person's images.

00:17:59.084 --> 00:18:00.584
You could put shit in them.

00:18:01.094 --> 00:18:01.365
Yeah.

00:18:01.605 --> 00:18:08.925
Well, not necessarily shit, but you could,
you could muck around with other people's.

00:18:08.925 --> 00:18:09.860
You could play with other people.

00:18:10.050 --> 00:18:10.540
Yeah, indeed.

00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:12.260
You could just stick.

00:18:12.480 --> 00:18:15.915
And and I remember, I remember we
had, and, and I think it might have

00:18:15.915 --> 00:18:19.395
been June, do you remember somebody
put bunnies in June's garden?

00:18:20.115 --> 00:18:20.385
Yeah.

00:18:20.385 --> 00:18:23.685
She imagined there was a Wendy house
and she can imagine two children.

00:18:23.685 --> 00:18:25.695
One in a red dress, one in a yellow dress.

00:18:25.699 --> 00:18:25.980
Yeah.

00:18:25.985 --> 00:18:26.205
Yeah.

00:18:26.205 --> 00:18:29.715
And the other person actually
saw the house and the two

00:18:29.715 --> 00:18:31.754
children in the same colors.

00:18:32.415 --> 00:18:32.895
But you're right.

00:18:32.895 --> 00:18:33.495
Yeah, I remember that.

00:18:33.495 --> 00:18:37.004
And they, they imposed an
imprint imprinted little

00:18:37.004 --> 00:18:38.264
rabbits in the garden as well.

00:18:38.264 --> 00:18:38.324
Yeah.

00:18:38.324 --> 00:18:39.074
And she saw that.

00:18:39.080 --> 00:18:39.620
That's, yeah.

00:18:39.764 --> 00:18:40.784
And this is what I love about it.

00:18:40.844 --> 00:18:45.975
Um, I, I, I, before we did the
practice group, in fact when

00:18:45.975 --> 00:18:47.834
I first got into coaching, um.

00:18:49.575 --> 00:18:52.425
It was actually a, a, a
hypnosis diploma I was doing.

00:18:53.175 --> 00:18:56.655
And I'd invited a group of
people to my house and we, I

00:18:56.655 --> 00:18:57.855
set up our first practice group.

00:18:57.855 --> 00:18:59.205
This about 2000.

00:18:59.595 --> 00:19:01.935
In fact, it was just before I'd
even started assisting actually.

00:19:02.775 --> 00:19:05.295
And didn't know, none of
us knew what we were doing.

00:19:05.504 --> 00:19:05.895
Okay.

00:19:05.895 --> 00:19:08.325
So it was really the, the blind
leading the blind, literally.

00:19:08.325 --> 00:19:12.885
And I was using Allman McGill's
Stage Hypnosis as our book, and

00:19:12.885 --> 00:19:16.635
we'd randomly choose a page and
then try some experimentation.

00:19:17.115 --> 00:19:22.185
And the thing that really opened up
my mind to what was, what was really

00:19:22.185 --> 00:19:27.465
possible just by experimenting, was
when I did, uh, we opened the page and

00:19:27.465 --> 00:19:30.254
I said, oh, there's a psychic las suit,
and I've got somebody stand there.

00:19:30.585 --> 00:19:31.965
Imagine throwing a las suit.

00:19:32.025 --> 00:19:33.345
Pulled them and they fell over.

00:19:33.405 --> 00:19:37.275
And I remember thinking,
oh my God, this is so cool.

00:19:38.985 --> 00:19:41.895
And it just, it literally blew
away all boundaries in terms of, I.

00:19:42.149 --> 00:19:45.629
Being creative and just experimenting.

00:19:45.629 --> 00:19:48.209
So I think it's a great question.

00:19:50.280 --> 00:19:54.300
Um, I, there is a couple of patterns
actually to, to it, which i, I

00:19:54.300 --> 00:19:56.580
use to help in my creativity.

00:19:57.419 --> 00:20:00.540
Um, one is one, when I first
heard about mapping across,

00:20:01.455 --> 00:20:03.570
yeah, I found that really useful.

00:20:04.110 --> 00:20:09.209
So looking for a behavior in one
context and then mapping it across

00:20:09.209 --> 00:20:14.820
into, uh, another context and
taking something that works here

00:20:14.820 --> 00:20:16.830
that's never been used here before.

00:20:17.730 --> 00:20:21.270
I found that a very, uh,
particularly creative pattern

00:20:22.080 --> 00:20:26.820
that can come up with lots of new
ideas, new insights, new options.

00:20:27.719 --> 00:20:32.250
In fact, last Tuesday I met up
with a, a colleague of mine.

00:20:33.480 --> 00:20:35.430
And we were sitting in somebody's house.

00:20:35.435 --> 00:20:37.200
This, this guy bought this
house in Notting Hill.

00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:39.480
It was a huge house, beautiful house.

00:20:40.170 --> 00:20:43.440
And um, he was doing some
consulting for the house owner

00:20:44.190 --> 00:20:47.250
who owned, um, an art gallery.

00:20:47.430 --> 00:20:48.900
It wasn't an art gallery owned actually.

00:20:48.900 --> 00:20:49.890
He just owned lots of art.

00:20:50.910 --> 00:20:55.230
And we were just exploring for about
an hour or so, as many different ways

00:20:55.230 --> 00:20:57.720
to creatively, uh, leverage the art.

00:20:57.810 --> 00:20:59.730
We came up with 35 different ways.

00:21:01.170 --> 00:21:01.410
Yeah.

00:21:01.695 --> 00:21:01.915
Yes.

00:21:01.920 --> 00:21:06.180
So what I was doing there was
looking at, um, ways to sell things

00:21:06.180 --> 00:21:09.210
in a different context and match
across to this particular context.

00:21:09.210 --> 00:21:12.270
Now we dunno if any of them gonna
work, but we're just experimenting.

00:21:13.170 --> 00:21:13.350
Yeah.

00:21:13.380 --> 00:21:18.120
So that's a very creative way of looking
at taking something, blending it to

00:21:18.120 --> 00:21:21.240
something new, almost doing like a visual
squash and coming up with something

00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:23.250
completely new and completely original.

00:21:24.765 --> 00:21:26.655
I said I wasn't gonna talk much.

00:21:26.655 --> 00:21:26.925
Sorry.

00:21:26.925 --> 00:21:29.240
I'm gonna shut off because I, yeah.

00:21:29.415 --> 00:21:31.155
I got all excited about creativity.

00:21:31.155 --> 00:21:32.175
I know, I know.

00:21:32.175 --> 00:21:34.875
And I knew when you said earlier,
oh, I'm not gonna talk much.

00:21:34.875 --> 00:21:35.355
I went here.

00:21:36.225 --> 00:21:37.125
Um, okay.

00:21:37.305 --> 00:21:42.195
So listening to Alessandro and
Tina, I've been thinking more

00:21:42.195 --> 00:21:44.565
generically about peak performance.

00:21:45.195 --> 00:21:47.685
Whilst it's a fa a phrase, sorry.

00:21:47.685 --> 00:21:53.085
Whilst it's a phrase that genuinely used
for sport, my thoughts are that it can

00:21:53.085 --> 00:21:55.275
be applied to any positive behavior.

00:21:55.635 --> 00:21:56.295
And you are right.

00:21:56.385 --> 00:21:58.815
It can, I wonder if you agree.

00:21:58.875 --> 00:21:59.535
Yes, I do.

00:22:00.045 --> 00:22:04.035
And how you apply the principles
in other aspects of coaching

00:22:07.035 --> 00:22:11.085
while everything that Alessandro was
talking about doing with athletes

00:22:11.085 --> 00:22:18.885
and in sport, you can just change
the context and you can use it for

00:22:18.885 --> 00:22:23.325
any kind of performance, whether
it's to do with being on a stage.

00:22:24.345 --> 00:22:31.215
Whether it is public speaking
training, it really doesn't matter

00:22:31.365 --> 00:22:33.735
because you just changed the context.

00:22:37.395 --> 00:22:37.995
You're waiting for me now?

00:22:39.465 --> 00:22:39.975
We can.

00:22:40.005 --> 00:22:42.885
I mean, I think, I think
that's fairly atory really.

00:22:43.365 --> 00:22:46.605
Um, I, it's, it's interesting.

00:22:46.875 --> 00:22:54.165
I think the phrase peak performance,
and again, it's a huge mind read is, um,

00:22:56.445 --> 00:22:59.925
it kind of sets an in, um, what's
the phrase I'm looking for?

00:23:03.105 --> 00:23:06.855
It can presuppose a bit like
the, the, um, the coaching wheel.

00:23:07.425 --> 00:23:07.545
Mm-hmm.

00:23:07.845 --> 00:23:08.145
Yeah.

00:23:08.385 --> 00:23:09.885
Where people go, well, where are you at?

00:23:09.885 --> 00:23:10.005
Yeah.

00:23:10.005 --> 00:23:11.265
It's a five or a seven.

00:23:11.685 --> 00:23:11.925
Yeah.

00:23:12.855 --> 00:23:15.945
What gets missed out with that is
that really at the core of everything,

00:23:15.945 --> 00:23:19.485
if we're okay, it doesn't matter if
we're at four or five on something.

00:23:19.485 --> 00:23:19.695
Yeah.

00:23:19.695 --> 00:23:26.025
So peak performance can sometimes imply
that unless anyone's performing at

00:23:26.025 --> 00:23:29.085
this peak level, things aren't okay.

00:23:29.565 --> 00:23:29.895
Yeah.

00:23:30.615 --> 00:23:34.605
Um, so I, I look at it in
a slightly different way.

00:23:35.910 --> 00:23:39.375
I, I, I'm not looking for peak
performance, I wanna avoid mediocrity.

00:23:39.945 --> 00:23:40.425
Okay.

00:23:43.275 --> 00:23:44.591
I, I, of course you do.

00:23:44.820 --> 00:23:48.015
It's, it's Richard's fault
actually, because I remember reading

00:23:48.015 --> 00:23:50.985
this summer, I can't remember
when, you know, decades ago.

00:23:50.985 --> 00:23:53.985
It is, you know, far too many
people are mediocre, avoid, you

00:23:53.985 --> 00:23:57.585
know, be allergic to mediocrity
when I'm gonna avoid mediocrity.

00:23:57.915 --> 00:23:58.395
Okay.

00:23:58.455 --> 00:24:02.805
But it means that I show up and
I get engaged and I do whatever I

00:24:02.805 --> 00:24:08.115
do, um, and I'm fully present and I
enjoy it to the best of my ability.

00:24:09.120 --> 00:24:12.090
And that's like a peak experience
in that moment in time.

00:24:13.140 --> 00:24:15.870
So for me, that's my
approach to peak performance.

00:24:15.870 --> 00:24:19.650
It's having the, the best experience
I can at this moment in time.

00:24:20.850 --> 00:24:24.900
Um, not necessarily with an,
with an intention or an outcome.

00:24:24.900 --> 00:24:27.450
Not always with an intention or
an outcome other than just to

00:24:27.450 --> 00:24:29.640
show up and be really present.

00:24:29.805 --> 00:24:30.095
Yeah.

00:24:30.120 --> 00:24:30.360
Yeah.

00:24:30.420 --> 00:24:35.610
I mean, that makes perfect sense, uh,
to me, uh, although there's a part of

00:24:35.610 --> 00:24:41.670
me that's, that's my, my, my little, but
my, although there's a part of me mm-hmm.

00:24:41.670 --> 00:24:44.970
That always wants to be better next time.

00:24:47.370 --> 00:24:47.820
Yeah.

00:24:47.820 --> 00:24:55.620
Now, that doesn't mean that I'm aiming
for huge heights, but if I'm delivering

00:24:55.620 --> 00:25:01.470
something, if I'm doing something, if
I'm performing, then I always want to

00:25:01.470 --> 00:25:04.260
just do a little bit more next time.

00:25:04.785 --> 00:25:06.750
I, I totally get that,
and I agree with that.

00:25:07.845 --> 00:25:10.545
What I love to do is I
go, yeah, I've shown up.

00:25:10.665 --> 00:25:12.435
Have I done, have I been really present?

00:25:12.435 --> 00:25:16.035
Have I done the best I can
included in the preparation?

00:25:17.205 --> 00:25:20.655
And if I sharp and I do the best
I can, I can relax and actually

00:25:20.655 --> 00:25:22.215
enjoy whatever it's I'm doing.

00:25:22.215 --> 00:25:22.275
Yeah.

00:25:22.605 --> 00:25:26.775
And then I can take the feedback and see,
well, now I've had the experience, is

00:25:26.775 --> 00:25:31.005
there a way that I can actually improve
it and make it slightly better, make

00:25:31.005 --> 00:25:32.955
it easier, make it even more enjoyable?

00:25:33.345 --> 00:25:36.345
And that approach for me takes
all the, any pressure away.

00:25:36.650 --> 00:25:36.940
Yeah.

00:25:36.945 --> 00:25:37.275
Yeah.

00:25:37.815 --> 00:25:38.745
Takes any pressure away.

00:25:38.895 --> 00:25:42.045
And it still means I can grow and
I can improve and I can evolve.

00:25:43.065 --> 00:25:47.595
Um, but that, that growing and the
evolving and improving doesn't become

00:25:47.595 --> 00:25:51.495
the focus, the focus for me then
is the being present and actually

00:25:51.495 --> 00:25:53.085
engaging and enjoying something.

00:25:53.445 --> 00:25:53.775
Yeah.

00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:55.755
For, for that peak experience.

00:25:56.145 --> 00:25:59.685
It's one of the things I got from all the,
certainly the, all the early NLP stuff I

00:25:59.685 --> 00:26:02.895
used to listen to, you know, it was, um.

00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:11.430
Everything was about passion and
enthusiasm and tenacious resolve and just

00:26:11.430 --> 00:26:16.620
being really juiced up about whatever
you're doing, and that to me was what

00:26:16.620 --> 00:26:20.310
was really appealing about NLP is like
being really juiced up in the moment.

00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:25.080
So you have those peak experiences
and that's never changed.

00:26:25.500 --> 00:26:25.890
No.

00:26:27.300 --> 00:26:27.540
Yeah.

00:26:27.540 --> 00:26:31.350
So I, I just avoid going for the,
chasing the next peak, that's all.

00:26:32.010 --> 00:26:34.320
Yeah, that makes sense.

00:26:34.800 --> 00:26:36.330
This one is actually for you, is it?

00:26:37.320 --> 00:26:40.470
Yeah, I'll have, I'll have
nothing to say on this one then.

00:26:43.895 --> 00:26:50.310
Huge thanks to Steve for the quantum
questions, having recorded my answers.

00:26:50.879 --> 00:26:54.870
I'm a work in progress with
making myself more visible and

00:26:54.870 --> 00:26:57.659
valuable to my potential clients.

00:26:58.110 --> 00:27:03.929
I'd love to know your thoughts about
these insights and their potential impact,

00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:11.834
which insights doesn't say, well,
I'm sorry, how can I answer?

00:27:12.254 --> 00:27:12.635
It doesn't.

00:27:12.635 --> 00:27:13.889
Sorry about your insights.

00:27:13.919 --> 00:27:14.280
Okay.

00:27:14.429 --> 00:27:16.475
Thoughts about these insights.

00:27:16.925 --> 00:27:17.554
These insights.

00:27:17.610 --> 00:27:17.909
Okay.

00:27:18.090 --> 00:27:18.659
Okay.

00:27:18.959 --> 00:27:19.409
Okay.

00:27:19.530 --> 00:27:19.949
Alright.

00:27:20.429 --> 00:27:21.959
Um, well done.

00:27:23.544 --> 00:27:23.834
Yeah.

00:27:23.909 --> 00:27:27.120
Well, I'm glad you got some insights
and, and for those of you going, what

00:27:27.120 --> 00:27:28.620
the hell are the quantum questions?

00:27:29.250 --> 00:27:37.199
They're just simply a series of 10
questions that get you to ask is

00:27:37.199 --> 00:27:44.129
chaining questions, so you get a
real insight into, um, what's really

00:27:44.129 --> 00:27:46.860
important to a potential client.

00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:53.070
By asking these questions, you, you, you
chunk and you chain to the point where

00:27:53.189 --> 00:27:55.320
you've got rapport with what they desire.

00:27:55.800 --> 00:27:58.530
You overcome all their objections,
and you get to the point where they

00:27:58.530 --> 00:28:01.560
go, yes, you really understand me.

00:28:02.159 --> 00:28:06.090
Um, so if they've got those
insights, that is fabulous.

00:28:06.270 --> 00:28:07.710
And that's all I can
really say about that.

00:28:07.710 --> 00:28:09.870
I'd said, no, there wouldn't be
much I could say about this one.

00:28:10.024 --> 00:28:10.264
Yeah.

00:28:10.264 --> 00:28:10.504
Yeah.

00:28:10.695 --> 00:28:15.840
It's, well, yes, but if you've
got more clarity, um, that can,

00:28:16.860 --> 00:28:18.090
that can only be good, can't it?

00:28:18.564 --> 00:28:19.770
It can, yes.

00:28:21.090 --> 00:28:21.870
I concur.

00:28:23.699 --> 00:28:27.449
So this one could be just for me,
following the August training by

00:28:27.449 --> 00:28:33.179
Tina, I put my focus on addictions and
OCD and the clients came rolling in.

00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:34.830
Fabulous.

00:28:35.340 --> 00:28:40.800
I've just completed the first session
with a trichotillomania client, and for

00:28:40.800 --> 00:28:43.770
those of you who don't know what that
is, it's people that pull their hair out.

00:28:44.850 --> 00:28:49.470
Uh, whose dissociated part was very
clear of its purpose, but didn't

00:28:49.470 --> 00:28:54.150
have ideas how it could help the
client fulfill its purpose without

00:28:54.180 --> 00:28:56.040
urging her to pull her hair.

00:28:57.600 --> 00:29:00.000
We called on other parts to help.

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.170
So from that, I'm guessing that
you're doing like a six step reframe,

00:29:05.310 --> 00:29:07.200
but they're yet to play ball.

00:29:08.460 --> 00:29:14.850
Now this, this is interesting when
I read this earlier, um, now Richard

00:29:14.850 --> 00:29:16.890
doesn't teach six step reframing anymore.

00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:17.250
Mm-hmm.

00:29:18.120 --> 00:29:23.610
But it's a very, it's a very useful
exercise to do in certain context.

00:29:24.870 --> 00:29:28.830
So I'm assuming that this is a six
step reframe and the other parts,

00:29:28.830 --> 00:29:30.600
but they're yet to play ball.

00:29:32.220 --> 00:29:36.540
I've never had a part to not play ball
when I've done six step reframing,

00:29:39.450 --> 00:29:41.375
and I think that's down to the setup.

00:29:41.795 --> 00:29:42.015
Mm.

00:29:42.630 --> 00:29:45.210
That's where I was gonna
go with that as well.

00:29:45.330 --> 00:29:50.010
It's actually how you set it
up so that they don't actually

00:29:50.010 --> 00:29:53.640
have a choice but to play ball.

00:29:55.050 --> 00:30:02.010
Um, and it's a matter of negotiating
and if, and if you, they don't

00:30:02.010 --> 00:30:04.470
come up with alternative behaviors.

00:30:04.950 --> 00:30:10.410
I might even say something along
the lines of, um, are there, do

00:30:10.410 --> 00:30:15.840
you agree there are behaviors that
you haven't thought of yet that you

00:30:15.840 --> 00:30:19.350
could use in place of this behavior?

00:30:21.720 --> 00:30:23.670
And I've never had anybody say no to that.

00:30:26.130 --> 00:30:33.900
Um, so that's really my thoughts.

00:30:34.785 --> 00:30:37.905
Now you said here to move the
session forward, I got an unconscious

00:30:37.905 --> 00:30:40.155
response to stop pulling the hair.

00:30:40.785 --> 00:30:44.505
And that the part or parts
would share an idea when ready.

00:30:45.315 --> 00:30:50.565
You've got like a, a, a, like
a, a naughty child in there.

00:30:51.015 --> 00:30:51.105
Mm-hmm.

00:30:51.195 --> 00:30:54.735
Um, and only pursue it
if it was good for her.

00:30:54.915 --> 00:30:55.365
Huh.

00:30:56.355 --> 00:30:58.995
And again, I would say
that was in the setup.

00:31:01.695 --> 00:31:06.915
I'd love to know further ideas of how to
deal with such a challenge in the moment.

00:31:08.025 --> 00:31:11.145
Well, if, if the first session, if
I did do something like six step

00:31:11.145 --> 00:31:13.340
reframing and it didn't work at

00:31:15.675 --> 00:31:19.365
the next session, I
would do something else.

00:31:20.265 --> 00:31:24.525
And that's because in the back of
my head, I've got Richard's voice

00:31:24.735 --> 00:31:26.745
telling me, do something else.

00:31:28.545 --> 00:31:31.575
Because if you've gone through that
process once and it hasn't worked.

00:31:32.355 --> 00:31:35.145
That person may then be
thinking, well, that didn't work.

00:31:35.805 --> 00:31:42.195
So then you need to go in your toolbox
and think about, so what else can we do?

00:31:43.635 --> 00:31:50.385
You could even, um, you can even
do a compulsion blowout on that.

00:31:50.565 --> 00:31:51.165
Actually.

00:31:52.485 --> 00:31:54.705
There are other things you could use.

00:31:54.795 --> 00:32:00.525
You could create a propulsion system
that propels her away from hair

00:32:00.525 --> 00:32:04.845
pulling and towards having a lovely,
wonderful, luscious head of hair.

00:32:06.255 --> 00:32:09.645
Um, there's all sorts of things,
but again, it would depend

00:32:09.645 --> 00:32:11.385
on the person in front of me.

00:32:12.435 --> 00:32:15.165
Yeah, there's a, there's
a lot there, isn't there?

00:32:15.250 --> 00:32:15.795
There is a lot.

00:32:15.795 --> 00:32:18.135
I think it's one of those things, I mean,
one of the things that I'm aware when we

00:32:18.135 --> 00:32:23.235
do these, our sessions is we can't give
prescriptive solutions to individual

00:32:23.235 --> 00:32:25.815
sessions because you have to work with
the person that's in front of you.

00:32:26.205 --> 00:32:26.235
Mm.

00:32:26.235 --> 00:32:30.735
And all we can do is maybe just share
some of the past experiences we've had.

00:32:32.070 --> 00:32:35.760
Um, some things that have worked,
but I completely agree with

00:32:35.760 --> 00:32:40.350
what you said, said there, Tina,
that I've never had resistance.

00:32:40.679 --> 00:32:45.990
Um, however, there there's a phrase I
can't remember who came out of, it's like

00:32:45.990 --> 00:32:47.550
doing the work before you do the work.

00:32:48.419 --> 00:32:48.720
Hmm.

00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:54.090
You know, start to think about doing
conversationally, doing the work

00:32:54.090 --> 00:32:55.500
before you actually do any work.

00:32:55.710 --> 00:32:59.220
And that's very easy by telling
stories, telling metaphors,

00:32:59.970 --> 00:33:02.040
you know, um, pulling hair.

00:33:02.669 --> 00:33:05.550
It's one of those things that becomes an
unconscious process and there's always

00:33:05.550 --> 00:33:07.200
something, there's a benefit from it.

00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:09.210
It could be like biting nails, isn't it?

00:33:09.210 --> 00:33:14.429
You know, people get to relieve
their, uh, their jaw tension by

00:33:14.580 --> 00:33:15.960
gnashing away at their nails.

00:33:15.960 --> 00:33:16.169
Yeah.

00:33:16.605 --> 00:33:19.830
I, I love And then, sorry, the
stories, remember Richard used to

00:33:19.830 --> 00:33:23.250
tell those stories about that guy
that was biting nails in the room.

00:33:23.715 --> 00:33:27.345
Um, uh, and, and he was sitting
in the front and he didn't even

00:33:27.345 --> 00:33:29.115
want to stop biting his nails.

00:33:29.115 --> 00:33:32.205
He's just sitting right in the
front of Richard, biting his nails.

00:33:32.210 --> 00:33:32.490
Mm-hmm.

00:33:32.670 --> 00:33:34.095
And he said, don't do that.

00:33:34.455 --> 00:33:37.035
You have no idea what's in your nails.

00:33:37.035 --> 00:33:39.315
He said, you the people go to the toilet.

00:33:39.315 --> 00:33:40.965
They don't wash their hands.

00:33:41.145 --> 00:33:45.195
A handrail, they scratch by the
handrail and the doorknob and, and

00:33:45.195 --> 00:33:50.085
Richard's building a propulsion
mechanism to basically go stop that.

00:33:50.375 --> 00:33:52.685
Yeah, and do something else.

00:33:53.345 --> 00:33:57.695
So what I would do in situations like
that, not every time, because everyone's

00:33:57.695 --> 00:34:02.465
different, what I've done many times is
to build that propulsion mechanism as

00:34:02.465 --> 00:34:06.725
part of the pre-frame, talking about, oh
yeah, 'cause we've gotta teach the system.

00:34:06.725 --> 00:34:09.574
Your system can learn to stop doing
something which is learned to do very

00:34:09.574 --> 00:34:13.054
automatically, and instead learn to do
something else that's even better for you.

00:34:13.054 --> 00:34:14.375
Now, I dunno what that's gonna be yet.

00:34:15.034 --> 00:34:19.085
So you have this, you know, I think you're
just having a conversation, a chat, the

00:34:19.085 --> 00:34:22.594
very beginning, but you actually talking
to the unconscious and setting, not the

00:34:22.594 --> 00:34:27.725
propulsion mechanism going, stop that,
you know, as the hand comes up, stop it.

00:34:28.205 --> 00:34:29.824
No, no, no, no.

00:34:31.025 --> 00:34:31.475
Ah.

00:34:31.565 --> 00:34:32.705
And just relax.

00:34:32.705 --> 00:34:34.534
And then you can grow this luscious hair.

00:34:35.525 --> 00:34:35.764
Yeah.

00:34:35.795 --> 00:34:37.445
So it's like move away from something.

00:34:37.445 --> 00:34:39.065
Move towards, yeah.

00:34:39.065 --> 00:34:40.264
And then you can do the work.

00:34:40.445 --> 00:34:45.755
But I think certainly with the six
step pre, pre reframe preframe, um.

00:34:48.029 --> 00:34:52.620
It does come down to how you do the
pre-frame of the six step reframe.

00:34:52.620 --> 00:34:54.750
It is, yeah.

00:34:55.170 --> 00:34:56.790
But everything's in the setup, isn't it?

00:34:56.790 --> 00:34:57.569
Mm, totally.

00:34:57.750 --> 00:34:57.960
Yeah.

00:34:58.230 --> 00:35:01.830
You know, it's all about when you have
that first conversation with them,

00:35:01.830 --> 00:35:05.970
the first time they ring you and talk
to you or email you, it's how you set

00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.009
everything up from the very beginning.

00:35:08.940 --> 00:35:09.210
Yeah.

00:35:09.480 --> 00:35:12.330
I don't know how quickly the
habit's gonna change for you.

00:35:12.330 --> 00:35:16.440
You know, presupposes
many things, doesn't it?

00:35:16.560 --> 00:35:16.890
Yeah.

00:35:17.430 --> 00:35:21.060
And even if there was something
like that where you're getting maybe

00:35:21.060 --> 00:35:23.700
a digital, no, some resistance.

00:35:25.110 --> 00:35:30.299
Um, another way of looking at
it is what about just reducing

00:35:30.960 --> 00:35:32.970
and reducing and reducing.

00:35:33.750 --> 00:35:36.029
So if you do come up against
something where it's like a,

00:35:36.540 --> 00:35:37.799
and it shouldn't be a digital.

00:35:37.860 --> 00:35:38.160
Yes.

00:35:38.160 --> 00:35:38.610
No.

00:35:39.690 --> 00:35:42.210
'cause you inoculate against
that by your set in your setup.

00:35:43.740 --> 00:35:48.150
The question is, I dunno how, how much
you can reduce the amount of pull in.

00:35:48.420 --> 00:35:49.500
Maybe 50%.

00:35:49.950 --> 00:35:50.160
Yeah.

00:35:50.250 --> 00:35:50.520
Okay.

00:35:50.520 --> 00:35:52.860
Well if you can do 50%,
you can do 70%, can't you?

00:35:53.250 --> 00:35:56.250
And so, you know, and again, it
would be be in your tonality as well.

00:35:56.250 --> 00:35:59.910
So instead of asking a question,
you, you turn it into a command.

00:35:59.910 --> 00:36:01.710
So you're not even asking if it's 50%.

00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:05.670
Well, if you've done 50%, you
can agree to 70 now, can't you?

00:36:06.030 --> 00:36:08.040
So I'm not, not doing
great with my tonality.

00:36:08.040 --> 00:36:09.030
That might be getting the idea.

00:36:10.165 --> 00:36:13.620
And, and the other thing that's kind of
in my head talking about that, I mean, a

00:36:13.620 --> 00:36:19.020
lot of people when they, when they pull
hair, when they, they self-harm 'cause

00:36:19.140 --> 00:36:21.990
the hair pulling comes under self-harming.

00:36:23.490 --> 00:36:26.759
They do it 'cause they
get something out of it.

00:36:28.470 --> 00:36:33.330
So if, if the six step reframing
isn't working, you need to deal with.

00:36:33.884 --> 00:36:36.674
What they're covering up
the And the ecology of it.

00:36:36.944 --> 00:36:37.214
Yeah.

00:36:37.305 --> 00:36:37.814
The, well, yeah.

00:36:37.814 --> 00:36:39.495
What, what is it doing for them?

00:36:39.495 --> 00:36:41.805
So there's obviously
something that's been missed.

00:36:42.734 --> 00:36:47.415
Uh, I worked with a girl, I mean,
she, she was literally bald up here.

00:36:47.415 --> 00:36:53.265
She pulled so much hair out, um, and
she was so stressed because of the, the

00:36:53.265 --> 00:36:54.975
stuff that was going on in her life.

00:36:55.395 --> 00:37:00.285
And every time she ripped the hair
out of her head, it was a release.

00:37:00.404 --> 00:37:02.805
So she was, it's like she
was releasing pressure.

00:37:03.375 --> 00:37:07.569
So maybe you need to take a step
back and deal with whatever that is.

00:37:07.759 --> 00:37:08.049
Yeah.

00:37:08.415 --> 00:37:11.265
And people get endorphin rushes,
not just with putting hair

00:37:11.834 --> 00:37:13.814
biting, skin even cutting.

00:37:13.845 --> 00:37:17.234
There's like a little chemical
rush that makes them at some

00:37:17.325 --> 00:37:20.055
chemical level feel good.

00:37:21.105 --> 00:37:21.254
Yeah.

00:37:21.285 --> 00:37:22.995
So the mechanism is already there.

00:37:22.995 --> 00:37:24.584
The propulsion mechanism.

00:37:25.245 --> 00:37:27.435
Propulsion mechanism is always there.

00:37:28.380 --> 00:37:29.609
To get 'em to feel good.

00:37:29.609 --> 00:37:33.089
We just gotta find a way for
them to feel good in a way that

00:37:33.359 --> 00:37:36.420
they don't just feel good, but is
actually good for them as well.

00:37:36.660 --> 00:37:36.960
Yeah.

00:37:38.234 --> 00:37:40.500
And, and it's something else
actually just occurred to me.

00:37:41.850 --> 00:37:42.930
Don't talk to them.

00:37:45.325 --> 00:37:47.730
Talk, talk to talk to the unconscious.

00:37:47.940 --> 00:37:48.150
Yeah.

00:37:48.150 --> 00:37:49.589
Again, them out of the way.

00:37:49.770 --> 00:37:49.830
Yeah.

00:37:50.190 --> 00:37:52.650
And just let, look,
look, they're gone now.

00:37:52.650 --> 00:37:52.950
Okay.

00:37:52.950 --> 00:37:56.190
We know you've learned this
behavior and it serves a purpose

00:37:56.194 --> 00:37:58.770
and, and you know how to change it.

00:37:58.770 --> 00:38:00.690
'cause there was a time you probably
didn't do it, it wasn't there and

00:38:00.690 --> 00:38:01.980
there's many times you don't do it.

00:38:01.980 --> 00:38:05.279
So I want you to change
it, reduce it down.

00:38:05.279 --> 00:38:10.049
And, you know, there's, I
had a client came in and she,

00:38:10.140 --> 00:38:11.520
um, it wasn't pulling hair.

00:38:12.180 --> 00:38:14.940
Um, she had alopecia so her
hair was falling out the back.

00:38:14.940 --> 00:38:19.890
So she came in with this red hairband and,
and it, and it was all stress related.

00:38:20.700 --> 00:38:21.810
Totally stress related.

00:38:21.930 --> 00:38:22.440
Um.

00:38:23.910 --> 00:38:27.510
So I just got her to relax and chill
out more and leave her husband.

00:38:27.840 --> 00:38:29.130
No, I didn't get to leave her husband.

00:38:29.310 --> 00:38:30.600
She eventually left her husband.

00:38:30.990 --> 00:38:33.660
Yeah, she had, that wasn't down to me.

00:38:33.660 --> 00:38:36.420
I just said, relax, you know,
and she went, it's his fault.

00:38:36.420 --> 00:38:37.320
I don't need him anymore.

00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:40.530
So she, you know, she,
she reframed a marriage.

00:38:40.590 --> 00:38:44.490
Um, but she came in for a couple
of sessions and this is a good

00:38:44.490 --> 00:38:47.190
thing actually, 'cause the person
said they're working with OCD

00:38:47.190 --> 00:38:49.110
and addictive people, so, great.

00:38:49.110 --> 00:38:53.160
You've got a long-term program
now, haven't you, for these people.

00:38:53.160 --> 00:38:54.210
'cause they're very compulsive.

00:38:54.780 --> 00:38:58.830
Um, so she came in for a, a couple
of the follow-up sessions, um,

00:38:59.040 --> 00:39:00.510
because she's now really curious.

00:39:00.990 --> 00:39:02.670
She goes, look, my hair's
starting to grow back.

00:39:02.670 --> 00:39:04.020
I said, well, it's 'cause
you're relaxed now.

00:39:04.020 --> 00:39:04.230
You know?

00:39:04.230 --> 00:39:05.370
And your body's yeah.

00:39:05.550 --> 00:39:09.630
Not burning off all that
energy and you can put energy

00:39:09.630 --> 00:39:11.010
back into growing the system.

00:39:11.010 --> 00:39:14.490
She goes, um, we come, go
back to the creativity one.

00:39:14.490 --> 00:39:14.790
She goes.

00:39:15.944 --> 00:39:17.805
Can we do anything
about it to speed it up?

00:39:17.805 --> 00:39:20.640
And I went, I don't
know, but let's find out.

00:39:20.640 --> 00:39:21.200
Let's slow down.

00:39:22.575 --> 00:39:25.274
Close your eyes and
did a six step reframe.

00:39:25.274 --> 00:39:26.174
Did some imls.

00:39:26.595 --> 00:39:28.214
You know how to grow hair, don't you?

00:39:28.214 --> 00:39:28.484
And go.

00:39:28.484 --> 00:39:29.205
Yes.

00:39:29.384 --> 00:39:34.904
Um, and I, I assume you know
how to speed it up, don't you?

00:39:35.384 --> 00:39:35.865
Yes.

00:39:35.924 --> 00:39:36.194
Okay.

00:39:36.194 --> 00:39:40.305
Would you accelerate the groan of the hair
on the back and, I mean, no, not the back.

00:39:40.515 --> 00:39:43.964
Because I would have a back
on the back of her head.

00:39:44.325 --> 00:39:44.924
Yes.

00:39:44.924 --> 00:39:45.134
Yeah.

00:39:45.585 --> 00:39:47.924
And then I got a little bit
creative and I remember saying,

00:39:48.225 --> 00:39:50.685
'cause the bit at the tops growing
quicker than the bit at the bottom.

00:39:50.685 --> 00:39:51.615
'cause it's all downy.

00:39:51.765 --> 00:39:54.765
So you can get the bit at the pop top to
teach the bit at the bottom how to do it.

00:39:55.754 --> 00:39:59.115
A month later she came in and she
had like a stripe where this part

00:39:59.115 --> 00:40:00.674
was growing quicker than this part.

00:40:00.674 --> 00:40:06.165
And I just remember again, one of those
epiphany moments thinking she didn't

00:40:06.165 --> 00:40:08.745
know how to do that, but she did.

00:40:09.075 --> 00:40:09.615
Yes she did.

00:40:09.615 --> 00:40:12.765
Don't talk to the conscious minds,
have the conversation with the

00:40:12.765 --> 00:40:14.895
unconscious and let it work things out.

00:40:16.035 --> 00:40:19.725
And I think that works for the next one
as well actually, because this is from,

00:40:19.785 --> 00:40:28.545
uh, Marco in, in Rome, and he says it's
exactly a week today since he had an

00:40:28.545 --> 00:40:33.105
operation to have his retinas reattached.

00:40:33.674 --> 00:40:34.785
And he is on the mood.

00:40:34.995 --> 00:40:36.194
He's on the, he's on the men.

00:40:36.194 --> 00:40:37.305
So fabulous.

00:40:37.305 --> 00:40:37.545
Yeah.

00:40:37.545 --> 00:40:38.029
Well done.

00:40:38.029 --> 00:40:38.750
Pleased to hear that.

00:40:39.165 --> 00:40:40.065
Fabulous.

00:40:40.515 --> 00:40:44.505
Um, so he says he saved
the eyes of a hypnotist.

00:40:44.745 --> 00:40:49.185
So of course the naughtiness in me
what's know which hypnotist specifically.

00:40:51.555 --> 00:40:56.420
So now he says he thanks
us and he thanks us.

00:40:56.420 --> 00:40:56.819
Welcome.

00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:01.154
He thanks us because while he was
being operated on, he could hear

00:41:01.185 --> 00:41:10.185
our voices resound with a reassuring
tone and just looking after him.

00:41:10.755 --> 00:41:11.235
Okay.

00:41:11.670 --> 00:41:13.500
Well, I'm glad we were there to help.

00:41:13.590 --> 00:41:14.610
So he thanks us.

00:41:15.779 --> 00:41:20.910
Uh, the question he has is how
he can speed up his recovery.

00:41:24.210 --> 00:41:26.100
So I think we've just gone
through that with the head.

00:41:26.100 --> 00:41:29.670
Well, I, I, the thing is,
I don't dunno about you.

00:41:30.120 --> 00:41:38.100
Um, I don't know how to get my
cells if I cut myself to heal.

00:41:39.180 --> 00:41:41.880
Um, but I must do at some level.

00:41:42.420 --> 00:41:43.890
Well, yeah, I mean we do know.

00:41:43.890 --> 00:41:45.935
We all know how to heal
'cause it can heal.

00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:48.930
So just ask your unconscious
or even instruct it.

00:41:50.009 --> 00:41:51.810
That's why I go with something like that.

00:41:52.049 --> 00:41:57.029
Well, you know, is the unconscious
willing to speed it up?

00:41:57.420 --> 00:42:00.570
And it might go, it might even go no,
because this is gonna take a little

00:42:00.570 --> 00:42:03.180
bit of time and, and probably not.

00:42:03.180 --> 00:42:03.779
I mean, how many.

00:42:05.370 --> 00:42:09.689
I think is it seven days for all the
cells in the eyeball to be replaced?

00:42:10.140 --> 00:42:12.839
So they're already replaced
because it's been seven days

00:42:12.839 --> 00:42:14.040
since he had his operation.

00:42:14.250 --> 00:42:14.669
Yeah.

00:42:14.879 --> 00:42:15.209
Okay.

00:42:15.209 --> 00:42:21.149
So, um, he can't be that far off,
uh, every single cell being replaced.

00:42:21.149 --> 00:42:21.600
Hmm.

00:42:22.709 --> 00:42:23.970
So, I don't know.

00:42:24.285 --> 00:42:27.990
I, I would just simply ask my
unconscious and even instruct it.

00:42:28.830 --> 00:42:35.970
So Marco, when you do your self
hypnosis, I want you to hear us

00:42:37.140 --> 00:42:46.259
instructing your unconscious to ensure
that you heal quickly, appropriately.

00:42:46.919 --> 00:42:52.980
So the next time we do see
you, you have amazing vision.

00:42:55.740 --> 00:42:56.819
I was gonna join in then I.

00:42:58.275 --> 00:43:01.530
Yeah, but I was just doing a bit
of self-healing on myself anyway.

00:43:01.980 --> 00:43:02.640
Bit on myself.

00:43:02.640 --> 00:43:03.005
It needs to deal also.

00:43:03.005 --> 00:43:03.006
Yeah.

00:43:04.530 --> 00:43:05.970
In fact, there's something else.

00:43:06.030 --> 00:43:12.090
Um, I did a Facebook post with somebody
just the other day actually, who is

00:43:12.090 --> 00:43:15.960
in hospital and it sounds like they're
going through a bit of an operation.

00:43:16.020 --> 00:43:18.925
He has spinal pins and and whatnot.

00:43:18.925 --> 00:43:19.485
No, I saw that too.

00:43:19.515 --> 00:43:19.805
Yeah.

00:43:19.805 --> 00:43:20.965
Yeah, I saw that too.

00:43:21.300 --> 00:43:22.565
And I wish it, isn't it?

00:43:22.590 --> 00:43:23.370
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:23.370 --> 00:43:25.530
I didn't wanna mention his
name, but you, you have, sorry.

00:43:26.250 --> 00:43:30.720
Um, and he'd mentioned and I said,
look, I wish you a speedy recovery.

00:43:30.720 --> 00:43:35.130
'cause I know he used to turn up on some
of our early prac practice group sessions.

00:43:35.130 --> 00:43:35.191
Yeah, yeah.

00:43:35.700 --> 00:43:39.270
So I know he is a, an
accomplished practitioner, maybe

00:43:39.270 --> 00:43:40.440
even a master practitioner.

00:43:41.100 --> 00:43:43.980
And I just kind of commented and
said, look, you know how to heal.

00:43:44.745 --> 00:43:45.525
But it was interesting.

00:43:45.525 --> 00:43:50.174
The, the reply was, but the thing
is the, the, the pins and the bolts

00:43:50.174 --> 00:43:52.185
mean there is going to be some pain.

00:43:52.185 --> 00:43:54.380
I thought, no, no, no.

00:43:54.404 --> 00:43:57.045
Do not buy into the presupposition.

00:43:57.765 --> 00:43:57.825
No.

00:43:57.825 --> 00:43:59.595
That at the moment, that's
what you've been told.

00:43:59.595 --> 00:44:01.125
And that might be what
you're experiencing.

00:44:01.365 --> 00:44:06.795
It does not mean it can't be
turned down and even switched off.

00:44:06.855 --> 00:44:11.355
And quite often if people
struggle to turn it off, it's

00:44:11.355 --> 00:44:12.765
because the system's going well.

00:44:12.765 --> 00:44:16.605
If you turn it off, you're gonna
muck around and cause more problems.

00:44:16.605 --> 00:44:20.924
You go, no, my deal is turn
it off and I will be cautious

00:44:21.380 --> 00:44:23.025
and, and ACT's appropriately.

00:44:23.415 --> 00:44:26.055
Um, but it was interesting he
said, uh, if only I could have

00:44:26.174 --> 00:44:27.884
Milton, Richard, and you there.

00:44:27.884 --> 00:44:32.595
Steve and I went back and said, well,
you have, you know, you know who we

00:44:32.595 --> 00:44:35.685
are, hear our voices talking to you.

00:44:36.255 --> 00:44:39.045
And he said, oh, and the other thing
was, um, and, and I can always.

00:44:39.405 --> 00:44:40.395
They gimme the drugs.

00:44:41.085 --> 00:44:43.755
I said, well take the drugs and then
just make sure that once you've got

00:44:43.755 --> 00:44:47.085
the experience of the drugs, you, you
know, revivification of that experience.

00:44:47.085 --> 00:44:48.165
Anchor, anchor, anchor anchoring.

00:44:48.165 --> 00:44:48.465
Yeah.

00:44:48.945 --> 00:44:53.175
And it's the thing actually, and
in response to Marco's question,

00:44:54.345 --> 00:44:58.365
a lot of people that have done NLP
practitioners and master practitioners,

00:44:58.395 --> 00:45:03.495
they've already got the solutions
they do to a lot of the questions

00:45:03.495 --> 00:45:05.265
they ask and the challenges they face.

00:45:06.795 --> 00:45:08.055
And they're not always really apr.

00:45:08.055 --> 00:45:09.915
Now I know, I know that's
not the case with Marco.

00:45:10.035 --> 00:45:12.525
I mean, I'm sure he is been
doing his self-healing.

00:45:13.005 --> 00:45:15.405
Yeah, but you've gotta
experiment on yourself.

00:45:15.585 --> 00:45:16.905
You've gotta go there first with

00:45:19.520 --> 00:45:19.720
these things.

00:45:19.725 --> 00:45:24.255
Definitely you, you, I mean, your
little toolbox that you get at

00:45:24.255 --> 00:45:27.945
the end of your practitioner, your
master practitioner, that's not just

00:45:27.945 --> 00:45:31.845
to be used on other people, guys,
that's for you to use on yourself.

00:45:33.615 --> 00:45:37.605
Well, I think actually in the
practitioner, it really is go first

00:45:37.605 --> 00:45:39.795
practitioner practice on yourself.

00:45:39.795 --> 00:45:40.125
Yeah.

00:45:40.130 --> 00:45:40.310
Yeah.

00:45:40.995 --> 00:45:42.375
That's the, to me, that's the difference.

00:45:42.375 --> 00:45:43.035
That makes the difference.

00:45:43.035 --> 00:45:46.875
When I see somebody that's
been really doing the work, you

00:45:46.875 --> 00:45:48.345
know, they, they know a SW pan.

00:45:48.705 --> 00:45:51.315
They know 10 sw pans.

00:45:51.315 --> 00:45:53.295
'cause they've been
playing and experimenting.

00:45:53.685 --> 00:45:57.675
They've done four different visual
squashes linked in with logical levels.

00:45:58.335 --> 00:45:58.545
Yeah.

00:45:58.575 --> 00:46:00.105
'cause they're playing and
they're being creative and

00:46:00.105 --> 00:46:01.095
they've done it on themselves.

00:46:01.095 --> 00:46:04.154
You can see when someone's been
doing the work and going there.

00:46:05.265 --> 00:46:05.445
Yeah.

00:46:05.445 --> 00:46:10.125
So, Marco, you're gonna heal
any question to ask yourself.

00:46:10.125 --> 00:46:11.025
It's just how quickly.

00:46:11.654 --> 00:46:11.985
Yeah.

00:46:12.765 --> 00:46:14.775
And, and we'll be there while you sleep.

00:46:14.775 --> 00:46:17.175
And while you dream and
while you dream and while you

00:46:17.175 --> 00:46:18.650
sleep, you'll hear our voice.

00:46:18.765 --> 00:46:20.715
You'll be able to see a brighter future.

00:46:21.585 --> 00:46:23.445
And that sounds quite
cornea at the moment.

00:46:23.655 --> 00:46:24.705
It's a bit corny.

00:46:24.705 --> 00:46:25.035
Yes.

00:46:25.090 --> 00:46:27.765
But we'll, we'll let you,
we'll let let that one go.

00:46:28.155 --> 00:46:28.245
Yeah.

00:46:28.250 --> 00:46:28.470
Okay.

00:46:28.470 --> 00:46:30.110
So don't, don't iris to that one.

00:46:32.150 --> 00:46:36.075
I, I'm trying to come up with
some of the moment, but yeah.

00:46:36.345 --> 00:46:36.885
Okay.

00:46:37.215 --> 00:46:37.575
Moving.

00:46:40.450 --> 00:46:42.105
That's a good pupil anyway, isn't he?

00:46:42.225 --> 00:46:44.325
Yeah, he's, he's a fabulous pupil.

00:46:44.385 --> 00:46:44.565
Yeah.

00:46:44.565 --> 00:46:45.015
Yes.

00:46:45.705 --> 00:46:46.725
Moving swiftly on.

00:46:47.085 --> 00:46:47.475
Why?

00:46:47.475 --> 00:46:48.705
Sorry, I didn't mean to dilate.

00:46:48.765 --> 00:46:49.755
Let's get that contract.

00:46:49.760 --> 00:46:49.910
Yeah.

00:46:51.060 --> 00:46:51.350
Okay.

00:46:52.065 --> 00:46:52.830
Lemme know when you No.

00:46:52.980 --> 00:46:53.950
Started to now.

00:46:57.850 --> 00:46:58.350
Oh dear.

00:46:59.410 --> 00:47:02.055
Why is it a problem for other people?

00:47:03.255 --> 00:47:04.305
Look, 'cause it always is.

00:47:04.305 --> 00:47:04.515
Yeah.

00:47:04.910 --> 00:47:05.150
Yeah.

00:47:06.170 --> 00:47:07.845
How do you know it's a
problem for other people?

00:47:07.845 --> 00:47:08.055
Yeah.

00:47:08.475 --> 00:47:16.065
When you make decisions and change them
as you take a different direction, so, so.

00:47:16.110 --> 00:47:16.200
What?

00:47:17.585 --> 00:47:17.805
Yes.

00:47:17.810 --> 00:47:18.060
Yes.

00:47:18.825 --> 00:47:20.285
That's my metamodel question.

00:47:20.715 --> 00:47:21.005
What?

00:47:21.065 --> 00:47:21.285
Yes.

00:47:21.660 --> 00:47:21.840
Yeah.

00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:22.590
What do you mean?

00:47:22.860 --> 00:47:30.960
So, so I'm looking at this question
and, and I'm thinking, well, when

00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:34.320
you make decisions and change
them, does that mean you are making

00:47:34.350 --> 00:47:36.720
decisions and changing your decisions?

00:47:38.730 --> 00:47:40.740
Or is it a problem for the other people?

00:47:40.770 --> 00:47:44.100
'cause you're making a decision and
you are changing the other people.

00:47:46.845 --> 00:47:48.645
So I don't really know.

00:47:49.005 --> 00:47:50.025
It's very ambiguous.

00:47:50.025 --> 00:47:51.375
Where, where's the referential index?

00:47:51.470 --> 00:47:51.760
Yeah.

00:47:51.915 --> 00:47:52.155
Yeah.

00:47:52.155 --> 00:47:53.145
It's very ambiguous.

00:47:53.715 --> 00:47:56.235
So what kind of ambiguity is that, guys?

00:47:57.230 --> 00:47:59.115
It's, it's very ambiguous.

00:47:59.745 --> 00:48:02.895
So, so shall we hallucinate,
shall we mind read?

00:48:03.615 --> 00:48:05.800
We, we, we can hallucinate
both of, of them.

00:48:07.090 --> 00:48:08.265
We'll hallucinate.

00:48:08.445 --> 00:48:08.685
Yeah.

00:48:08.685 --> 00:48:13.725
So, uh, so why is it a problem for other
people when you make a decision and change

00:48:13.725 --> 00:48:15.795
them as you take a different direction?

00:48:16.185 --> 00:48:22.005
So if I hallucinate, you mean you
make a decision and then you decide

00:48:22.005 --> 00:48:27.315
to change that decision and take
a completely different direction.

00:48:28.275 --> 00:48:30.555
Why is it a problem for the other person?

00:48:31.275 --> 00:48:35.115
Well, I mean, that would depend on your
relationship with the other person.

00:48:35.175 --> 00:48:38.985
You know, is it your boss telling
you they want this done and you

00:48:38.985 --> 00:48:40.575
decide to do something else?

00:48:40.935 --> 00:48:42.825
Is it your significant other?

00:48:44.220 --> 00:48:48.120
Where you've made an agreement that
you're both gonna do one thing or you

00:48:48.120 --> 00:48:51.690
are gonna do this and you change it.

00:48:51.750 --> 00:48:53.370
There's not enough information.

00:48:53.520 --> 00:48:58.470
And this is why we can't advise
people on what to do with clients.

00:48:58.470 --> 00:49:01.020
I mean, we can't even really
answer the question because

00:49:01.020 --> 00:49:02.430
there's not enough information.

00:49:03.235 --> 00:49:05.940
I I, I will add something to that
though, even though it might be

00:49:05.940 --> 00:49:07.590
answering a question that wasn't asked.

00:49:08.820 --> 00:49:14.370
If someone keeps changing their mind,
it doesn't in, in invoke really much

00:49:14.370 --> 00:49:17.310
faith in somebody's, um, in trust.

00:49:17.400 --> 00:49:19.261
You, you kind of break in
rapport with someone, aren't you?

00:49:19.830 --> 00:49:20.250
You are.

00:49:20.340 --> 00:49:20.880
Yeah.

00:49:20.880 --> 00:49:21.600
Yeah, yeah.

00:49:21.660 --> 00:49:24.210
If you keep constantly changing
your mind, then people really dunno.

00:49:24.930 --> 00:49:25.230
They can't.

00:49:26.355 --> 00:49:27.855
You can't really trust where you're at.

00:49:28.125 --> 00:49:31.875
And trust is an integral
part of rapport, isn't it?

00:49:31.875 --> 00:49:33.735
It's trust and harmony in a relationship.

00:49:34.185 --> 00:49:38.180
So you, if you are constantly changing
your mind and people dunno where you're

00:49:38.180 --> 00:49:39.435
at, you're breaking rapport with them.

00:49:39.525 --> 00:49:43.065
That would cause potential
problems in, in relationships.

00:49:44.085 --> 00:49:51.525
If the other option, well, the other
options is you are changing their minds.

00:49:51.555 --> 00:49:51.585
Mm.

00:49:53.175 --> 00:49:55.605
Well, the thing is permission.

00:49:55.605 --> 00:49:57.230
Did they ask you to?

00:49:58.245 --> 00:49:58.305
Yeah.

00:49:58.305 --> 00:50:00.375
That's another, that's
another issue, isn't it?

00:50:00.375 --> 00:50:00.675
Yeah.

00:50:00.705 --> 00:50:02.565
Do you have permission to, yeah.

00:50:04.905 --> 00:50:07.515
So yeah, there isn't very, very
much we can do with that one.

00:50:07.515 --> 00:50:07.815
Is there?

00:50:07.815 --> 00:50:10.695
No, no, now, now this is a great one.

00:50:11.145 --> 00:50:12.015
I like this one.

00:50:12.015 --> 00:50:12.885
This is, uh, yeah.

00:50:12.885 --> 00:50:14.025
Great one for discussion.

00:50:14.625 --> 00:50:20.025
Why is NLP interpreted differently
by different coaches, practitioners,

00:50:20.085 --> 00:50:23.115
authors, researchers, dot, dot, dot, dot.

00:50:25.845 --> 00:50:26.355
Say that again.

00:50:27.165 --> 00:50:34.515
Why is NLP interpreted differently
by different coaches, practitioners,

00:50:34.905 --> 00:50:38.985
authors, researchers, and then
there's dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

00:50:40.785 --> 00:50:41.355
Because

00:50:43.800 --> 00:50:44.835
well, okay.

00:50:44.835 --> 00:50:45.165
All right.

00:50:45.165 --> 00:50:45.585
Again.

00:50:46.125 --> 00:50:48.225
Well, what is N-L-P-N-L-P isn't a thing.

00:50:48.705 --> 00:50:49.965
NLP is,

00:50:51.975 --> 00:50:55.875
it's just curiosity of
objective experience.

00:50:55.935 --> 00:50:56.595
Yeah.

00:50:56.595 --> 00:51:02.026
It's a study of, you know, human
behavior and, and, uh, where do

00:51:02.031 --> 00:51:02.925
you, where do you end with that?

00:51:02.925 --> 00:51:04.215
Where'd you start,
where'd you go with that?

00:51:04.215 --> 00:51:08.205
It's, it's beliefs, it's
values, it's identities.

00:51:08.205 --> 00:51:10.485
And there's so many
different ways to look at.

00:51:10.485 --> 00:51:12.705
It's, there's all those,
there's all those deletions,

00:51:12.705 --> 00:51:15.075
distortions and generalizations.

00:51:15.075 --> 00:51:19.365
And somebody, somebody
was on, uh, social media.

00:51:20.190 --> 00:51:28.590
Um, saying NLP means, um, and
then says, so, so the reason NLP

00:51:28.590 --> 00:51:31.385
is called NLP is because mm-hmm.

00:51:31.465 --> 00:51:37.110
And they did this whole posting
on why NLP was called NLP and

00:51:37.140 --> 00:51:38.430
their answers were quite good.

00:51:38.760 --> 00:51:41.820
They were eloquent, it made sense.

00:51:42.060 --> 00:51:45.870
He was talking about what the neuro
means, what the programming means,

00:51:46.440 --> 00:51:48.360
what the linguistic bit means.

00:51:49.140 --> 00:51:53.190
And all I could hear in my head
was Richard Bandler saying why he

00:51:53.190 --> 00:51:59.065
called it NLP, which of course,
well, we know the story wasn't

00:51:59.655 --> 00:52:02.610
what he posted on social media.

00:52:02.880 --> 00:52:02.940
Yeah.

00:52:03.085 --> 00:52:09.690
Um, and, and, and I just think
that different people, they

00:52:09.690 --> 00:52:11.250
have their own interpretation.

00:52:11.250 --> 00:52:15.390
I mean, the way that I interpret the
way things work will be different to

00:52:15.390 --> 00:52:19.470
the way Steve interprets the way they
work, because we have different filters.

00:52:20.879 --> 00:52:23.220
We put things together differently.

00:52:23.759 --> 00:52:28.500
I mean, over the 20 years or whatever
that we've known each other, we

00:52:28.500 --> 00:52:30.209
can read each other quite well.

00:52:30.214 --> 00:52:30.334
Mm-hmm.

00:52:30.355 --> 00:52:31.415
Are we having months agreed.

00:52:31.415 --> 00:52:31.855
Have we?

00:52:32.595 --> 00:52:33.334
No, we haven't.

00:52:33.435 --> 00:52:33.975
No, no.

00:52:34.169 --> 00:52:35.970
We disagree quite a lot actually.

00:52:36.839 --> 00:52:41.490
But that's healthy, you know, we have
very healthy discussions where one of,

00:52:41.490 --> 00:52:43.109
we got very different maps, haven't we?

00:52:43.109 --> 00:52:43.169
Yeah.

00:52:43.169 --> 00:52:48.390
And, and sometimes one person's map is,
is more efficient and more effective

00:52:48.390 --> 00:52:50.189
than the other person's or more fun.

00:52:50.669 --> 00:52:51.149
Yeah.

00:52:51.149 --> 00:52:56.520
You know, I, I think we come, you know,
that question is, uh, NLP is just,

00:52:56.520 --> 00:52:59.669
it's not a thing, it's just curiosity.

00:52:59.669 --> 00:53:02.339
So we're all gonna have to see
things in completely different ways.

00:53:02.339 --> 00:53:06.330
And that's the thing I love about
it, that you never stop learning.

00:53:06.899 --> 00:53:11.040
You never stop discovering, you never
stop finding things and finding things.

00:53:11.040 --> 00:53:14.040
You can then apply to yourself
and then share with other people.

00:53:14.549 --> 00:53:17.370
And that's why, you know, that's why
there are so many books, I think.

00:53:18.255 --> 00:53:21.855
It would be a little bit more interesting
if many of the books out there weren't

00:53:21.855 --> 00:53:23.745
just a rehash of the practitioner manual.

00:53:24.165 --> 00:53:24.884
No, I agree.

00:53:24.884 --> 00:53:25.335
I agree.

00:53:25.335 --> 00:53:29.355
If yeah, we need something new and
innovative to come out of this.

00:53:29.470 --> 00:53:30.880
Yeah, because they're all the same.

00:53:30.950 --> 00:53:31.240
Okay.

00:53:31.360 --> 00:53:31.800
I have a thought.

00:53:31.800 --> 00:53:32.520
They're all the same.

00:53:34.150 --> 00:53:37.395
Yeah, because they're, if you look
at them, they're all the same.

00:53:37.725 --> 00:53:39.555
Um, and we do need something new.

00:53:41.205 --> 00:53:44.505
Um, so here we have the
penultimate question.

00:53:45.945 --> 00:53:50.745
What is the difference between
NLP practitioner and NLP coach?

00:53:53.445 --> 00:53:55.305
Well, I think we kind of started
to answer that, didn't we?

00:53:55.305 --> 00:53:58.575
A moment ago when we were talking about,
for me, for me the distinction is the

00:53:58.575 --> 00:54:02.835
practitioner is someone who's learned
the fundamentals of of NLP and is prac

00:54:02.895 --> 00:54:04.755
putting the, the fundamentals together.

00:54:06.150 --> 00:54:10.350
Mainly, primarily working on themselves
or working with a willing partner,

00:54:10.560 --> 00:54:12.810
but not necessarily working on people.

00:54:13.350 --> 00:54:20.430
You know, just really starting to discover
and move things from conscious competence

00:54:21.000 --> 00:54:23.580
to a degree of unconscious competence.

00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:28.500
That tends to happen more when someone's
done two, three, maybe four practitioners.

00:54:28.560 --> 00:54:29.790
Yeah, I see that.

00:54:29.790 --> 00:54:33.420
And then when they start to move to
the master practitioner, then they

00:54:33.420 --> 00:54:35.790
become even more creative with that.

00:54:37.230 --> 00:54:38.520
The NLP coach.

00:54:39.330 --> 00:54:42.120
Well, my approach to that is that's
when you get, you've done enough

00:54:42.120 --> 00:54:45.810
of your practitioner, you then get
a chance to work on other people.

00:54:46.165 --> 00:54:46.740
Yeah, yeah.

00:54:46.860 --> 00:54:49.170
Or work with other people
rather than on other people.

00:54:49.710 --> 00:54:53.640
And of course there are, there are
different certifications that are offered

00:54:53.640 --> 00:54:57.960
out there in the marketplace, and some
people are offering an NLP practitioner

00:54:58.020 --> 00:55:00.660
and some people are offering an NLP coach.

00:55:01.140 --> 00:55:05.250
Now Steve and I are both with,
uh, Richard Bandler's Society.

00:55:05.250 --> 00:55:10.859
So we are with the society of NLP
and within the society of NLP,

00:55:10.859 --> 00:55:15.660
there's a licensed practitioner
of NLP where you get that initial

00:55:16.049 --> 00:55:23.190
toolbox of magical things that enable
you to create infinite changes.

00:55:23.250 --> 00:55:27.089
Uh, you can use it for business
code, you can use it anywhere.

00:55:27.450 --> 00:55:29.190
It's just so flexible.

00:55:30.390 --> 00:55:34.799
And there will be many people that will
attend the practitioner who know nothing.

00:55:34.830 --> 00:55:38.009
And at the end of it, they get
their practitioner toolbox.

00:55:39.060 --> 00:55:43.350
I've got my practitioner toolbox, I can
pull the rabbit out and, and do magic.

00:55:45.149 --> 00:55:49.379
And then from there, there
will be people that want to use

00:55:49.379 --> 00:55:51.839
NLP within a coaching context.

00:55:53.100 --> 00:55:56.819
And then they will go and they will do
the NLP Coach certification, which will

00:55:56.819 --> 00:56:00.029
teach them how to apply their NLP toolbox.

00:56:01.345 --> 00:56:05.670
A coaching environment, just like you
can come and do a practitioner of NLP,

00:56:06.240 --> 00:56:10.170
and then from there you can go and learn
how to apply that in a business context.

00:56:12.570 --> 00:56:14.490
That was how I read the question.

00:56:14.520 --> 00:56:15.810
Very boring, sorry.

00:56:16.860 --> 00:56:16.950
Yeah.

00:56:17.085 --> 00:56:18.015
Well, we both agree.

00:56:18.630 --> 00:56:19.560
Yes, we both agree.

00:56:19.620 --> 00:56:20.640
That's our distinctions.

00:56:20.640 --> 00:56:20.850
Yes.

00:56:21.060 --> 00:56:23.295
Our maps are very similar in that respect.

00:56:23.404 --> 00:56:23.695
Yeah.

00:56:25.154 --> 00:56:31.980
So the last question, and
again, this question has me

00:56:31.980 --> 00:56:33.600
going, but what do you mean?

00:56:34.680 --> 00:56:40.680
So this question says, where did
the NLP presuppositions come from?

00:56:41.070 --> 00:56:45.210
Now when I read that bit, I'm
thinking, well, what do you mean?

00:56:45.240 --> 00:56:50.730
Do you mean the linguistic presuppositions
within the metamodel, or do you

00:56:50.730 --> 00:56:52.920
mean the basic presuppositions?

00:56:54.690 --> 00:56:59.850
And then it goes on to say, why
are they not adjusted or changed?

00:57:00.870 --> 00:57:05.009
It seems to me they are
never challenged though.

00:57:05.009 --> 00:57:08.220
They're generalizations and incoherencies.

00:57:10.980 --> 00:57:15.660
So I said, I dunno what
presuppositions you mean specifically.

00:57:17.100 --> 00:57:23.910
Now if you mean the basic presuppositions,
I mean they come from different fields.

00:57:24.480 --> 00:57:29.190
They come from semantics,
which is Alfred Ksky.

00:57:29.190 --> 00:57:30.810
K, yeah, KSKY.

00:57:30.810 --> 00:57:31.200
Thank you.

00:57:31.200 --> 00:57:32.730
I can never ever pronounce his name.

00:57:32.730 --> 00:57:33.600
I'm very sorry.

00:57:34.200 --> 00:57:37.859
Uh, they're from Transformation
of Grammar, which is Noam Chomsky.

00:57:38.490 --> 00:57:43.770
They're from Systems Theory, which
is Gregory Baton from Cybernetics,

00:57:43.770 --> 00:57:48.779
which is Ross Ashby, uh, pragmatism.

00:57:49.020 --> 00:57:51.899
What a lovely word,
which is William James.

00:57:52.635 --> 00:57:54.345
Uh, phenomenology.

00:57:54.735 --> 00:57:55.725
I love that word too.

00:57:55.965 --> 00:57:58.995
Which is Edmund Hersel, I think.

00:57:59.145 --> 00:57:59.505
Herschel.

00:57:59.505 --> 00:57:59.715
Yeah.

00:58:00.045 --> 00:58:00.345
Yeah.

00:58:00.345 --> 00:58:01.635
And logical.

00:58:01.665 --> 00:58:01.695
Positiv.

00:58:01.875 --> 00:58:02.715
Positiv.

00:58:04.990 --> 00:58:05.110
T

00:58:07.515 --> 00:58:08.655
No, it's Pos Uh.

00:58:08.655 --> 00:58:09.230
Yeah, that'll go.

00:58:09.480 --> 00:58:10.150
Positivism.

00:58:10.545 --> 00:58:10.905
Yeah.

00:58:10.905 --> 00:58:11.835
Positivism.

00:58:11.835 --> 00:58:12.285
That's it.

00:58:12.285 --> 00:58:12.585
Yes.

00:58:12.750 --> 00:58:12.990
Bertram Russell.

00:58:13.155 --> 00:58:15.255
Bertram Russell and Alfred.

00:58:16.155 --> 00:58:17.145
North Whitehead.

00:58:17.805 --> 00:58:20.955
So the basic presuppositions
come from these guys,

00:58:24.225 --> 00:58:28.425
or do you mean the other presuppositions?

00:58:28.425 --> 00:58:31.875
Because there are many of them as well.

00:58:31.875 --> 00:58:34.425
And generally speaking
we do challenge them.

00:58:34.425 --> 00:58:39.255
We use the Metamodel challenge to
get more information 'cause we get

00:58:39.255 --> 00:58:43.215
the surface structure and we want to
go down to what they actually mean.

00:58:45.075 --> 00:58:46.455
So I don't really know.

00:58:46.875 --> 00:58:49.305
What prepositions you're talking about.

00:58:49.305 --> 00:58:51.674
Now, I know he has something
to say about this too.

00:58:55.515 --> 00:58:56.745
There's a, I've got a story.

00:58:57.734 --> 00:58:58.935
There's always a story.

00:58:58.995 --> 00:58:59.295
Yeah.

00:58:59.805 --> 00:59:06.315
Moses meets God and God goes,
right, I've got my 15 guidelines.

00:59:06.975 --> 00:59:08.535
No, actually people
won't follow guidelines.

00:59:08.595 --> 00:59:09.795
15 rules.

00:59:11.775 --> 00:59:14.775
Now they're not gonna
follow 15 commandments.

00:59:14.924 --> 00:59:17.384
Okay, let me tell you my 15
commandments for the people.

00:59:17.475 --> 00:59:19.904
So explain the 15 commandments to Moses.

00:59:20.025 --> 00:59:23.174
He said to Moses, go back and tell
the people about my 15 commandments.

00:59:24.569 --> 00:59:26.234
Are you sure you're
gonna remember all those?

00:59:27.435 --> 00:59:31.545
Now, this was in the time before Miller
Ghislaine and, and Prime had done the work

00:59:31.545 --> 00:59:33.645
on Magic number seven plus or minus two.

00:59:33.645 --> 00:59:35.175
So that didn't exist at that point.

00:59:35.655 --> 00:59:39.495
So Moses goes off, couple days
later, he comes back and goes, really

00:59:39.495 --> 00:59:40.725
sorry, but I couldn't remember them.

00:59:41.355 --> 00:59:42.045
That's too many.

00:59:43.125 --> 00:59:44.205
God goes, okay, I'll tell you what.

00:59:45.435 --> 00:59:48.045
Oh, I'll cut the number down to 12.

00:59:48.045 --> 00:59:49.755
I'll write them on stone for you.

00:59:49.905 --> 00:59:50.325
Okay.

00:59:50.895 --> 00:59:52.035
Make it easy for you to remember.

00:59:52.040 --> 00:59:53.445
I'm gonna, I'm gonna carve them on stone.

00:59:53.535 --> 00:59:53.745
Okay.

00:59:54.075 --> 00:59:55.005
Now let me help you.

00:59:55.245 --> 00:59:55.665
There you go.

00:59:56.685 --> 00:59:57.495
Have you got all those?

00:59:57.615 --> 00:59:57.795
Yeah.

00:59:57.795 --> 00:59:59.745
Yeah, I've got all the
Right, my 12 commandments.

00:59:59.745 --> 00:59:59.955
Yeah.

00:59:59.985 --> 01:00:00.315
Okay.

01:00:00.315 --> 01:00:05.415
Now are you sure you can carry all of
them in one go and Moses trots often?

01:00:06.075 --> 01:00:08.175
That's how we end up
with the 10 Commandments.

01:00:08.265 --> 01:00:08.295
Okay.

01:00:12.015 --> 01:00:17.475
The basic presuppositions are kind
of like the 10 Commandments or the 12

01:00:17.475 --> 01:00:18.885
Commandments, or the 15 commandments.

01:00:19.245 --> 01:00:20.055
Depends where you look.

01:00:20.055 --> 01:00:20.895
The numbers vary.

01:00:21.255 --> 01:00:21.495
Hmm.

01:00:22.725 --> 01:00:23.685
Because they're not real.

01:00:23.775 --> 01:00:24.915
They're not real in stone.

01:00:25.155 --> 01:00:27.045
They are presuppositions.

01:00:27.045 --> 01:00:30.705
There's something that is before
that supports something after.

01:00:31.665 --> 01:00:37.875
You know it's pre-up support, positioning,
and the basic presuppositions.

01:00:38.565 --> 01:00:40.335
Support us in being able to

01:00:42.555 --> 01:00:47.715
do NLP to work with people
to find out and be creative.

01:00:49.875 --> 01:00:50.655
Are they fixed?

01:00:50.655 --> 01:00:51.465
I don't think so.

01:00:51.885 --> 01:00:53.450
No, because there's 12, there's 10.

01:00:53.625 --> 01:00:54.855
I'm not even sure what's in the manual.

01:00:54.855 --> 01:00:55.455
I can't remember.

01:00:56.595 --> 01:00:59.715
Um, I think we should be able to add our
own presuppositions, just like we add

01:00:59.715 --> 01:01:01.605
our own rules if they're really useful.

01:01:02.475 --> 01:01:06.015
You know, I, I think one would be to
make sure that everything we do is fun

01:01:06.015 --> 01:01:10.185
and engaging as a basic presupposition,
possibly, you know, something like that.

01:01:10.695 --> 01:01:13.875
Um, so I don't think they're fixed.

01:01:14.175 --> 01:01:17.565
Um, I'm not sure about
the incongruency of them.

01:01:17.565 --> 01:01:19.695
Is that the phrase that, is that
the word that was used at the end?

01:01:20.145 --> 01:01:22.755
He said they're never challenged though.

01:01:22.755 --> 01:01:26.445
They're generalizations and Incoherencies.

01:01:26.565 --> 01:01:27.315
Incoherencies.

01:01:27.315 --> 01:01:28.215
I'm not sure about that.

01:01:28.215 --> 01:01:28.995
I'm not quite sure.

01:01:29.080 --> 01:01:32.145
'cause I don't know whether this is
actually from a native English speaker.

01:01:32.175 --> 01:01:32.415
Yeah.

01:01:32.440 --> 01:01:32.920
Oh, okay.

01:01:33.380 --> 01:01:35.505
So I'm not sure, but I would
say they, they can be challenged

01:01:35.505 --> 01:01:37.575
because they're not within in stone.

01:01:37.785 --> 01:01:38.085
Yeah.

01:01:38.565 --> 01:01:40.485
Seems to me They're just useful.

01:01:41.235 --> 01:01:44.445
And that's what I, I've always looked at
'em and go, these are useful things for

01:01:44.445 --> 01:01:51.135
us to, um, assumptions for us to make, to
enable us to navigate through the world.

01:01:52.575 --> 01:01:52.845
Yeah.

01:01:53.714 --> 01:01:57.915
And, and I haven't found any cases
and I've, I've looked a little bit,

01:01:58.305 --> 01:02:00.975
I must have been, I've given it some
thought, but I've not spent hours

01:02:00.975 --> 01:02:05.955
on it where they don't seem to have
some relevance and be coherent.

01:02:08.174 --> 01:02:09.645
I think, I think there is relevance.

01:02:09.645 --> 01:02:12.795
I mean, when you look at them, the
one that most people talk about

01:02:12.795 --> 01:02:14.475
is the map is not the territory.

01:02:14.654 --> 01:02:16.424
I think that's incredibly relevant.

01:02:16.935 --> 01:02:17.174
Yeah.

01:02:17.355 --> 01:02:17.505
Yeah.

01:02:17.595 --> 01:02:20.265
I What say it'd be interesting just to
go through, just to an exercise, things

01:02:20.444 --> 01:02:22.815
are how we think, not how they are.

01:02:23.174 --> 01:02:23.415
Mm-hmm.

01:02:24.345 --> 01:02:28.035
Yeah, it's, I mean, there's so
many elements of those pre basic

01:02:28.035 --> 01:02:32.384
presuppositions that are relevant in what
people do and how they perceive their

01:02:32.384 --> 01:02:34.335
world, and I think they're really useful.

01:02:34.455 --> 01:02:39.705
And I also, um, it seems to me that
it's a very useful thing to really sit

01:02:39.705 --> 01:02:41.924
and reflect and find uses for them.

01:02:42.674 --> 01:02:48.735
Um, and, uh, consider how you would use
them because, um, they are the foundations

01:02:48.735 --> 01:02:50.295
for all the work that I do with people.

01:02:50.700 --> 01:02:51.090
For sure.

01:02:51.095 --> 01:02:51.245
Yeah.

01:02:51.245 --> 01:02:51.565
You do.

01:02:51.690 --> 01:02:51.960
Yeah.

01:02:52.125 --> 01:02:56.760
I, I recognize the value of the
basic presuppositions early on.

01:02:57.330 --> 01:02:57.630
Hmm.

01:02:58.325 --> 01:02:58.740
I, I think so.

01:02:58.740 --> 01:03:00.690
I'm, I'm aware of time.

01:03:01.680 --> 01:03:02.310
Yes, me too.

01:03:02.310 --> 01:03:03.150
I'm aware of time.

01:03:03.150 --> 01:03:04.530
'cause we're out of time now.

01:03:05.310 --> 01:03:06.360
Um, yeah.

01:03:06.360 --> 01:03:11.370
So, so think about those basic
presuppositions, if that's what the

01:03:11.370 --> 01:03:16.470
question was about, and, and how are
they relevant in the things that you do?

01:03:17.160 --> 01:03:20.490
And begin to explore their
relevance and be creative.

01:03:20.640 --> 01:03:23.940
See if you can come up with something
else, which is even more useful.

01:03:24.690 --> 01:03:27.540
That's the thing about
NLP, it's not fixed, is it?

01:03:27.835 --> 01:03:28.125
Yeah.

01:03:28.200 --> 01:03:29.130
No, it's not fixed.

01:03:29.130 --> 01:03:33.540
It's always changing, growing, evolving.

01:03:33.570 --> 01:03:33.600
Mm.

01:03:34.470 --> 01:03:36.720
Uh, it's one of the things that I love.

01:03:37.500 --> 01:03:42.780
I'm so excited that Biden's gonna let us
into the us Well, he is at the moment from

01:03:42.780 --> 01:03:48.720
November, and, uh, I'm getting ready to
go out there in March to meet up with,

01:03:48.750 --> 01:03:50.790
uh, with Richard and Kathleen and John.

01:03:51.630 --> 01:03:55.920
And every time I meet up with
them, there's another element that

01:03:55.920 --> 01:03:58.830
appears there's something else
that's going on that's happening.

01:04:00.060 --> 01:04:02.640
Uh, and it's never, it's
always new and there's always

01:04:02.640 --> 01:04:04.230
something different to learn.

01:04:04.415 --> 01:04:04.695
Yeah.

01:04:04.890 --> 01:04:05.250
Yeah.

01:04:05.250 --> 01:04:08.130
And then that's why we got the, the
masterclass is why we've got the

01:04:08.130 --> 01:04:09.660
Secret Agents Change Membership group.

01:04:10.380 --> 01:04:12.870
You know, we're not just
sharing what we know.

01:04:13.020 --> 01:04:17.970
We want to spark off your creativity
and find out what you've done

01:04:18.330 --> 01:04:19.800
and what you've come up with.

01:04:19.800 --> 01:04:22.740
And yeah, it's a collaboration.

01:04:23.220 --> 01:04:24.600
K Keep playing guys.

01:04:25.005 --> 01:04:25.575
Keep playing.

01:04:25.950 --> 01:04:26.940
Keep in touch.

01:04:27.030 --> 01:04:30.990
Um, and, um, oh, we are
gonna scoot off now.

01:04:30.990 --> 01:04:35.610
So, um, we wanna notte
to our friends in Italy.

01:04:37.965 --> 01:04:39.285
And, um, ciao.

01:04:40.875 --> 01:04:42.465
Live long and prosper.

01:04:42.705 --> 01:04:43.035
Yeah.

01:04:43.305 --> 01:04:47.775
Thanks for being line guys and um,
we'll see some of you that are coming

01:04:47.775 --> 01:04:49.245
onto the practitioner next month.

01:04:49.725 --> 01:04:50.505
Next month.

01:04:50.625 --> 01:04:52.485
We'll, yeah, we've got some
new stuff lined up for that.

01:04:52.485 --> 01:04:53.295
Just a few weeks.

01:04:53.300 --> 01:04:53.960
Yeah, it's not long.

01:04:53.965 --> 01:04:53.985
Yeah.

01:04:54.105 --> 01:04:54.855
Two weeks away.

01:04:54.855 --> 01:04:58.455
So looking forward, so we've got
some, again, part of the evolution.

01:04:58.455 --> 01:05:01.575
We got a few new things to share
and experiment and play with.

01:05:01.905 --> 01:05:02.265
Mm-hmm.

01:05:02.325 --> 01:05:03.855
So that's gonna be real fun.

01:05:04.095 --> 01:05:04.425
Yes.

01:05:04.425 --> 01:05:05.625
I'm looking forward to that too.

01:05:05.805 --> 01:05:06.615
Yeah, right.

01:05:06.615 --> 01:05:08.385
I'm now gonna go and do some healing.

01:05:08.385 --> 01:05:10.065
Go and you do some healing.

01:05:10.065 --> 01:05:12.795
Marco can do some healing
and I will send some healing.

01:05:13.185 --> 01:05:14.240
Alright, thank you now everybody.

01:05:14.700 --> 01:05:14.920
Bye.

01:05:15.510 --> 01:05:16.000
Bye-Bye.