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What is going on guys?

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This is Josh Stively here with the Process
of Becoming podcast.

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And I just want to throw out another real
quick, quick hitting episode today.

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Kind of a spin off of the last episode
that we did episode 12, where we talked

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about kind of the wrap up of barriers to
change.

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And in that discussion, I talked about
something and I wanted to elaborate on

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that just a little bit more.

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So hope you guys are having a fantastic
day.

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And just to start this call out, I just
want to tell you guys how much we

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absolutely appreciate you guys appreciate
the love.

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and everything that you've been doing to
just make yourselves better, quite

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honestly.

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It's why we do what we do.

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So it's just gonna be me today recording a
quick one for you.

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But Dino and I will be looking to do a
full length episode this weekend.

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So to elaborate on the point that I made
on the episode number 12.

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Okay, we were talking about how sometimes
we feel like we need somebody's approval

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or support.

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And I got into talking about spouses and
some of the conversations that I've had

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around spouses and...

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you know, if my spouse isn't supportive,
you know, it can hold me back, right?

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That is a barrier to change a lot of
people feel.

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But I wanted to add a little bit to that
conversation.

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So one of the things that I've seen across
the board with spouses, say that like a

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husband or a wife wants to go on their
fitness journey and become better, right?

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Sometimes the spouse is against that.

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Sometimes they're indifferent.

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Sometimes they're really, really against
it where it's like they're really trying

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to bring you down.

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OK, so what I want to kind of clarify in
that conversation that I wish I would have

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done on the episode.

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is that you have to just look at where the
expectations are, right?

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And I'm gonna kind of actually spin off
and talk about some things slightly along

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these lines here in a second, but look at
where the expectations are.

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A lot of times it's just simply
communicating that, hey, look, like just

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because I'm going on this journey of
getting myself in shape, that doesn't mean

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that I expect that you do it as well.

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Like I'm just doing this for me.

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You don't have to do it if you don't want
to.

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And unfortunately, a lot of times when you
live with those unspoken expectations,

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which is honestly one of the biggest
problems that people will see in their

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relationship is that unspoken expectation.

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But when you're living with that unspoken
expectation for any goal, somebody might

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feel less than, like just even without
that coming across or being spoken, they

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may just feel that way based on the fact
that you're moving on and they're not,

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right?

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well, I don't really wanna do this.

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Why did they make that decision?

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I'm not ready kind of thing.

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And then they go into defense mode.

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Right?

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So it's as simple as just letting them
know sometimes that, Hey, look, like this

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is what I'm going to do.

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I don't expect you to do it with me.

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I would love for you if you did, but Hey,
if you're happy where you're at and

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that's, that's what you want to do, that's
perfectly okay.

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Guys, a lot of times that is the simple
conversation that needs to happen.

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And that can avoid so much of this, again,
unspoken X, X expectation, angst and

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emotion that comes with these
relationships.

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So if you have a spouse, if you have
somebody that,

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you know, is in your life in general.

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It just goes into any relationship, even
just beyond spouses, it can be friends

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groups as well.

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But just have that conversation with them.

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It's, hey, look, like, you know, I've been
feeling a little bit of, like, kind of

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emotion or anger, just call it out,
whatever it is, whatever you're seeing and

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feeling from them.

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Just have that conversation and call it
out.

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Hey, I've been feeling that.

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Right.

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And I just want to let you know that I'm
going on this journey for me.

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I have no expectation of you doing this
with me and there's no ill will if we

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don't do it with me.

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You know, I just wanted to just clear the
air and let you know that if you're happy

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doing your thing, that's all I want.

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I just want you to be happy.

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Right.

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I'm going to do this for me and I just
expect you to, to support me through it or

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just at the very least not bring me down
through it.

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Right.

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So it's just getting on the same page from
that unspoken expectation standpoint.

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Now that is the second part that I want to
talk about as well as just that.

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is one of the biggest problems that I've
seen across the board in all

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relationships.

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And it could be a spousal relationship, it
could be friend groups, it could be

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coworkers, whatever it is, it's the
unspoken expectations, okay?

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I don't want to call out an entire people
group because everybody is guilty of doing

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this, but this is a big thing that
women...

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perpetuate or are good at.

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And I know I might get yelled at for
saying this, but again, there is no ill

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will with that statement.

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But I just see that across the board a lot
in the relationships that I have with

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women.

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Women are amazing, amazing human beings.

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And they just operate on a different
level.

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So there's even times with my wife and I
where she has this unspoken expectation

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because of how her brain works.

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And it's like, well, for me, you have to
tell me what you need help with.

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Right?

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Some of the people that I mentor, it's the
same thing.

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It's like they need help, but they don't
ask for it.

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And it's like, it's not a spoken
expectation.

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I don't really know in that situation.

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I'm just assuming that things are all
good.

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You know?

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So guys, if you have a relationship that
somebody is not moving along the same

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direction or same trajectory based on a
goal that you have or something that

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you're doing in your life, I just
encourage you to have these conversations,

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right?

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If you have a spouse, whether that's a
wife, whether that is a husband,

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Please have these conversations, not only
around the goals that you're chasing, but

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just everything in general, right?

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It could be something, you know, a story I
tell is like my wife and I, if I work from

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home one day, like she has the unspoken
expectation of, hey, he's working from

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home.

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He's gonna take care of the dishwasher and
unload that.

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He's gonna make sure that the house is
picked up, all these different things.

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But what she doesn't understand is that
I'm actually working like nonstop.

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There is zero breaks that I get to this
stop and do.

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It's not a casual work from home kind of
day.

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So she gets home, she's upset because, I
thought you were gonna take care of all

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this stuff.

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Well, I mean, both of us are guilty in
that situation.

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She didn't speak her end of it.

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And I didn't speak the fact that, hey,
look, like if I do get some time, I'm

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gonna take care of this stuff.

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So again, it goes along the lines of what
I said in episode 12 there, which

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everything comes down to communication.

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I encourage you with your friends, with
your coworkers, with anybody in your life

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that may have an unspoken expectation
opportunity, which is honestly every

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relationship that we have.

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verbalize those things, communicate, just
get on the same page and watch every

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single component of your life with those
relationships get better.

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I encourage you to try that this week.

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So guys, as always, I just wanted to keep
this one a little bit short.

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I apologize if I was redundant and I do
want to go back and clarify it is not only

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women that have this situation happening,
men, we do this too.

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So, you know, just as I'm thinking through
that, I did not intend to call out an

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entire people group.

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but that is what I've seen the most in my
life with unspoken expectations.

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And honestly, there's unspoken
expectations with my guy friends as well.

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We just kind of naturally make it work.

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So in any case, I hope you guys are having
a phenomenal day.

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Guys, if you ever gain value from anything
that we share, anything that we talk

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about, please feel free to share it.

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Our goal and our mission is simple.

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It's to change people's mindsets, to help
people become the best version of

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themselves.

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And that's how we do it, right?

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You guys share the message, share the
mission.

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And you guys are obviously gaining value
in that and we would appreciate it and

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love it if you share it and keep that
feedback coming.

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So guys, appreciate you.

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I hope you have an amazing, amazing rest
of the day and rest of the week and look

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forward to a full length episode getting
recorded this weekend.