You made the decision. You committed. You know your why. And then you woke up the next morning in the same house, with the same spouse, the same job, the same stress, and the same habits trying to pull you back. Now what?
In Episode 24 of Beyond the Gray (Part 2 of 2), Kari Schwear tackles the part nobody talks about: what happens after the decision. Because the hardest part isn't saying "I'm done." The hardest part is living like someone who is done. This episode is about identity, the uncomfortable middle, and why feeling awkward is actually proof that you're growing, not failing.
Kari shares how she built an entire identity around wine (including starting a neighborhood wine club), why quitting felt like burying a best friend, and the daily habits that slowly rebuilt who she was from the inside out. She also introduces the "floor vs. ceiling" concept and the one question that changed every decision she made from that point forward.
In this episode you'll hear:
• Why making a decision doesn't magically make you a different person
• The "uncomfortable middle" and why this is where most people quit
• How Kari built an entire identity around wine and what it felt like to let that go
• Why feeling awkward or fake isn't proof that you're failing, it's proof that you're changing
• The order that actually works: action builds belief, belief builds identity, identity builds consistency
• Why nature doesn't like a vacuum and what to replace your habit with
• Tonic water, walks, books, and prayer: the replacements that saved Kari's sobriety
• The "floor vs. ceiling" concept for daily habits (and why your floor matters more)
• The one question that changed everything: "Is this a vote for my future or my past?"
• Why one decision doesn't change your life, but thousands of small ones will
If you made a commitment in Part 1 and you're wondering what comes next, this is it. This is how you become the person your change requires.
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FREE RESOURCE
28 Tools for Questioning the Drink: a free, one-page PDF with practical tools you can use today. No judgment. No shame. Just real tools that work. (Works for any habit, not just drinking.)
CLICK HERE FOR THE 28 TOOLS RESOURCE (link)—————
READY TO TALK?
If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call.
Book a Call with Kari:
Visit the Website:
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CONNECT WITH KARI
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EPISODES REFERENCED
Episode 23: Why Your Changes Never Stick (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 3: The Identity Shift
Episode 11: Stop Calling Yourself an Alcoholic
Episode 13: Gray Area Drinking Explained
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New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.
If you know someone who made a change and then drifted back, send them both parts. Part 1 is the foundation. Part 2 is who you become. Together, they're the roadmap.
#WhoAreYouBecoming #IdentityShift #LastingChange #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #FloorVsCeiling #VoteForYourFuture #QuitDrinking #UncomfortableMiddle #DailyHabits #ActionBeforeFeeling #SoberCurious #HighPerformers #MidlifeChange #Part2of2 #AlcoholFreeIdentity
What is Beyond the Gray?
You’ve built something solid. A business. A reputation. A life that looks the part.
But somewhere along the way, something started feeling off.
Not broken. Not a crisis. Just… not right.
Maybe the drinking has become more of a habit than you'd like to admit.
Maybe the marriage is stable but not exactly alive.
Maybe you're still driven, but the fire feels different.
You're functioning at a high level — and wondering why that still isn't enough.
Beyond the Gray explores the gray areas of life that successful people rarely talk about — including gray area drinking, midlife identity shifts, relationships, faith, health, and purpose.
Host Kari Schwear, founder of GrayTonic, helps business owners, leaders, and high-achievers understand what’s driving their habits, reconnect with what actually matters, and lead their lives with the same intention they bring to their work.
This isn’t a sobriety podcast.
And there are no labels here.
Just clarity, honesty, and conversations most people are too busy performing to have.
While many of Kari’s clients are men over 50 navigating these transitions, the ideas explored here resonate with anyone ready to move beyond the gray.
New episodes every Tuesday.