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You're listening to the Bible Guys,
a podcast where a couple of friends talk

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about the Bible in fun in practical
ways. Well, welcome to the Bible

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Guys. What do you think?
Well, no, I think that didn't

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work for me. No, no, no, no, it was a

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little jazzy. Did you ever see
SpongeBob where he goes Christ? Do you

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cry? Maybe maybe I should have
took that round Bible Guys. Maybe whatever.

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So I thought you were gonna sing
good morning, Oh well yeah,

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and switch it up. Okay,
Wow, that was incredible. You are

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so talented. Well, you know, thank you for tuning in for this

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lame welcome. But hey, if
the ministry doesn't work out for you,

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maybe you have a future in jingles. Jingles. Yeah, yeah, well

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that's a business. Please call me
for your next jingle. Is that even

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a thing anymore? I don't know. In the fifties, I'm sure it

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was. I don't know. So, hey, we are Jeff and Chris

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were the Bible Guys, and we
are just welcoming you to the next episode,

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which is this one. And we
are starting off with a segment called

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would you rather? Oh, I
like, would you rather? Yeah?

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And we have not read these.
I have not because we want to read

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them in real time right now.
So we're just gonna just let's do it.

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Pick, let's do it. You
want to do the first one?

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Would you rather only communicate using emojis
or only communicate using giffs? Oh?

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I know immediately the answer? What
is Jeff's me? Yeah? Yeah,

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jeffs Yeah yeah. Jeffs are so
they're so widespread. I think there's way

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more gifts than there are emojis.
First of all. Yeah, and which

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is hard to believe. Emojis are
pretty direct thumbs up, praise hands,

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all that stuff. But jeffs are
so funny. They're funny. A lot

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of them are funny. Yeah,
I choose funny. Yeah, okay,

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all right. Number two? Would
you rather have a pet dinosaur or a

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pet dragon? Is this even a
competition? A dinosaur? I fear a

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dragon. I guess I've feared too, But I've seen I've seen House of

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the Dragon, I've seen Game of
Thrones. I think that I'd rather try

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to ride a dragon really and have
it be my pet. That'd be the

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nice Kalisi. So I thought,
I don't know what you're talking about.

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I thought dinosaur, not dragon.
Why because not all dinosaurs were violent.

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Dragons are by nature, you know, big teeth, big claws, fire

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out of their mouths. But remember
you remember mean and hey, there are

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dynasts. Remember remember the dinosaurs that
were just eating the eating the leaves in

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Jurassic Park and sneezed on them.
Yes, those were nice. Did you

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ever see the Lion King of the
Cartoon when they found somebody in the desert

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and he goes, I have an
idea, what if he was on our

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side? That's true, if a
dragon was on your side, Yeah,

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then you'd be the man. I
don't know, Yeah, I was.

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I chose dinosaur, you chose dragons. That's all right, Let's let's just

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move on number number. Would you
rather have your voice sound like Mickey Mouse

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or Darth Vader? That can't be
a real question. That was a great

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one. That is a great one. Hi, my name is Chris Harmon.

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I want to be Darth Vader.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Darth

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Vader. Yeah, I would choose
Darth Vader over Mickey Mouse. Well,

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not only that, but Darth Vader's
voice technically is James old Jones, who

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is one of the best voices in
the universe. Ever, yes, ever

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in humanity, Yes, and so
it makes for good preaching. Yes,

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it'd be hard to preach like Mickey
Mouse, it'd be, yes, it

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really would. But although you'd have
to deal with the whole uh, the

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breathing sounds that'd be. That'd be
irritating, but still okay. So the

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other one is would you rather have
to speak? Would you rather have to

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speak in pig Latin for a week
or wear a kick me sign on your

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back for a day? Oh?
Oh man, kick me for a day?

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Really? Yeah? Yeah? Well
kick me be pretty violent depending on

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whose season, because it doesn't say
it's the only sign I could wear,

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Oh my goodness. Trying to do
a work around. So then i'd have

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a sign below it this says kick
me and find out I kicked me,

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and then I just tun underneath it
and find out that's what I do.

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So I'd put two signs out.
Oh man, that's a workaround, dude.

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Well, the intent of the question
is to be kicked all day,

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to be punished by kicked all day. Otherwise it's not a competition, come

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on, Jeff, Okay, all
right, but but pig Latin, which

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I already speak, you're good and
pig Latin, so I can go ahead

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and say pig Latin for a week
for me, that's right, yes,

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yeah, but i'd have to speak
with somebody who also speaks big Latin.

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Yes, so it's a conditional answer. Would you would you rather have a

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permanent clown smile or a permanent clown
nose permanent for all time? Oh my

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gosh, that is pretty funny.
Yeah, that's a great one. These

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are good ones. Hey, permity
clown smile, you couldn't even interact with

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somebody. Well, you'd be like
the Joker. Remember remember the who was

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the really crazy joker? That not
the crazy one, the earlier joker,

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Jack Nicholson. Oh yeah, remember
his permanent smile? Yes, yeah,

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that one, yeah yeah uh.
And then yeah, there's a different different

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versions of the Joker. I don't
want to get in all that, right,

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but that one was like this really
fabricated permanent yeah yeah, yeah,

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yeah, yeah, a permity clown
knows you could get past. People would

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look and go, oh my goodness, and then you'd have to be like

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yeah and explain it away. It's
as clear as the nose on my face.

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But Wizard of I was nineteen thirty
nine there you go. But the

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the idea of a clown nose,
gosh, I mean, the smile would

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just creep everybody out. You would
be avoided forever. I'd have to choose

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to choose. You have to This
is awesome, Okay, you couldn't walk

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around with that permanent smile. Does
you elevated your game today? This was

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a good one? Yea? These
were really difficult? Would you rather?

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I agree? I agree? Although
pet Dragon, yeah, I still like

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that. Get wrong on that one. I like it? Okay, Well,

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hey, moving on. As advertised
in the previous episode, yes,

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Moses is going to argue with God, which is always a good idea.

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Let me just say, when you
have a disagreement, argue with the creator

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of the universe. That's that's always. But you know what, it does

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give us permission to argue with God. Because David argues with God, Moses

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argues with God, Abraham argues with
God. God never says stop it.

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He never says how dare you?
He doesn't say that God is willing to

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hear our thoughts even if they're unreasonable. Just like job, right, job,

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last couple podcasts for chapters and chapters, he goes on and then God

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finally says, okay, fine,
I'll respond now, But he never says,

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Job, how dare you? So
God's not afraid of our arguing.

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It's just he does say to Job, how dare you? Where were you

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when I made this? Where were
you when I I? No? No,

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what I'm saying is he never says, don't you dare argue with me?

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Oh? Yeah, yeah, that's
what I'm saying. Yeah. In

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verse fourteen, here God gets mad
at Moses for arguing with him, So

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it comes up verse fourteen. It
Lewis says, then the Lord became angry

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with Moses. Verse fourteen. Well, we'll get to it. Let's read

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the story. Well, let's read
the story. People. People are riving

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it out. People are let be
clear, okay, people are going to

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wait to get the verse fourteen and
say verse fourteen is a little different.

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Okay, here you go. We're
in Exodus, chapter four Verse one.

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Good, it's so good. But
Moses protested again, what if they won't

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believe me you're listening to me?
What if they say the Lord never appeared

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to you? Then the Lord asked
him, what is that in your hand?

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A shepherd's staff? Moses replied,
throw it down on the ground,

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the Lord told him. So,
Moses threw down a staff, and it

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turned into a snake. Moses jumped
back. Then the Lord told him,

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reach out and grab its tail.
So Moses reached out and grabbed it,

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and it turned back into a shepherd's
staff in his hand. Perform this sign,

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the Lord told him, and then
they'll believe that the Lord, the

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God of their ancestors, the God
of Abraham, the God of Isaac,

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and the God of Jacob, really
has appeared to you. Then, the

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Lord said to Moses, Now put
your hand inside your cloak. So Moses

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put his hand inside his cloak,
and when he took it out again,

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his hand was white as snow,
with a severe skin disease like leprosy.

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Now put your hand back into your
cloak, the Lord said. So Moses

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put his hand back in, and
when he took it out again, it

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was healthy as the rest of his
body. Lord said to Moses, if

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they did not believe you and are
not convinced by the first miraculous sign,

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they will be convinced by the second
sign. If they don't believe you or

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listen to you even after these two
signs, then take some water from the

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Nile River and pour it on the
dry ground, and when you do,

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the water from the Nile will turned
to blood on the ground. But Moses

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pleaded with the Lord, Oh Lord, I'm not very good with words.

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I've never been, and I'm not
now, even though you've spoken to me.

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I get tongue tied and my words
get tangled. The Lord asked Moses,

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who makes a person's mouth? Who
decides whether people speak or do not

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speak? Here? Do not hear
see or do not see? Is it

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not I? The Lord? Now
go, I will be with you as

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you speak, and I will instruct
you in what to say. But Moses

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again pleaded, Lord, please send
anyone else. And then the Lord became

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angry with Moses. All right,
he said, what about your brother Aaron

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the Levite. I know he speaks
well, and look, he's on his

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way to meet you. Now.
He'll be delighted to see you talk to

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him and put the words in his
mouth. And I'll be with both of

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you as you speak. I'll instruct
you both in what to do. Aaron

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will be your spokesman to the people. He'll be your mouth peace, and

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you'll stand in the place of God
for him telling him what to say,

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and take your shepherd's staff with you
and use it to perform the miraculous signs

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I've shown you. So Moses went
back to his home. First of all,

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it's that is an amazing passage,
yea. And would I would,

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I would defend myself a little bit
by saying this, is that after all

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of the arguing and after all the
rebuttals, Moses said no to God.

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And that's when my God get angry. That's right, that's right. So

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the debating of going back and forth
and reasoning with God, that's what I

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consider arguing, right. And then
after all I knew that was going to

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be your difference. And then all
the arguing gets over Moses. God literally

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takes away every single complaint, every
every excuse that Moses has, and then

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send somebody else. I don't want
to go. I'm not going. And

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then and then so God's like,
now I'm mad. Now you're making me

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mad. You're just making excuses at
this point. But at least he doesn't

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smite him, right, So smite
him. Smite me, by the way,

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is a fabulous word. Yes,
just the whole idea of smitey,

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what movie smite me almighty, Smiteter
Evan, Almighty, Bruce, Bruce,

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Almighty. I know it is one
of the all ladies. So yeah,

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So again I made reference yesterday that
I originally or I just recently preached a

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message. And so to summarize Moses'
excuses is, you know, yesterday he

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said to God, hey, I'm
a nobody, and then uh, and

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then and then and then today he
says, hey, I'm I'm I'm not

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a communicator, and then and then
he says, uh, I'm not convincing,

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and then finally he ends up saying, okay, fine, send somebody

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else. I don't want to go. So he has all these different excuses,

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and every single time God answers with
either a truth or a promise.

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And the truth is like, hey, I'm gonna be with you. Here's

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the promise. I'm gonna be with
you. Uh hey, uh go ahead,

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and uh, you know, I'll
give you miracles. That's that's that's

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the promise. So he gives he
gives Moses all these different things. And

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sometimes when we go up against God
and say God, I don't want to

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do this thing, we have to
actually measure our fears and our excuses against

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the promises of God today. Right, So if God, if God equips

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us, if God calls us,
if God asks us, you know,

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to step out in faith, we
have to cling to the promises of the

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scriptures, and you know, and
because they're just as relevant for us today

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as these direct words word of Moses. Right, yeah, yeah, I

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don't think he could fathom how I
mean, ultimately he comes down to I

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think his best argument isn't people aren't
going to believe me. Man, when

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God makes it possible for you to
turn water into blood and you know,

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turn your hand to the leprosy and
turn your staff into a snake, you

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kind of go, Okay, people
are kind of going to believe that.

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Now it turns into I don't think
I can right. So first it was

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they're not going to believe me.
Why I don't have any credibility. God

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goes, I'll give you credibility.
Well, then I don't think I can

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do it. I'm never been good
at speech class. I've always been terrified.

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I'm always a little tongue tied,
I'm a stutter or whatever. And

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God's argument was who made your mouth? Of course you can say what you

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need to say. You're saying it
because I'm telling you to say it.

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And even then Moses, after having
seen his staff turn into a snake and

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his hand turned into leprosy, he's
not convinced God can use him. I

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think a lot of times inadequacies,
or our perceived inadequacies, become so strong

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that even when we've seen God do
other miraculous things, we still refuse to

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believe that God can use us.
And that's when God gets a little upset

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with Moses. Yeah. Right.
And here's such a great overlooked verse in

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this whole dialogue, verse number two. The Lord asked him, what is

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that in your hand? He says, a shepherd's staff. Moses replied,

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Now, it's so interesting about this
is First of all, do you think

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God didn't know it was a shepherd
staff? Yeah? Right, right,

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So he's asking Moses to identify what's
in his hand. He says, a

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shepherd staff. Now have you think
about it? That staff represented three things

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in Moses' life. It represented his
identity, It was who he was.

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Right. When you see somebody walking
down a road, you know, and

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they have a shepherd's staff, you
know they're a shepherd. Yeah right,

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So it is it is going to
bet that guy's a shepherd, right,

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it is, it is who he
is layer he's either ball player or is

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this shepherd? So I'm pretty sure
it's a shepherd staff. Yeah, so

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so, so it's his identity.
The second thing it represents is his income,

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right, So it's it's basically that
shepherd staff represents his livelihood. Right.

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The third thing it represents is his
influence. Right, so his his

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position is title and then and so
and then the next verse that, you

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know, the very next words,
it says, throw it down the ground.

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And then you know, basically he's
saying, throw it down the ground

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and watch what I can do with
it. So I think to myself,

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surrender it. So so it's like
God asks us to throw down our identity,

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our income, our influence, everything
that men, especially hold deer.

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You know. It's like it's like, this is who I am, this

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is what I do, this is
how I provide, you know. And

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he says, no, no,
God says, throw it down, lay

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it before me and watch what I
can do with it. Surrender it.

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Don't hang on to you know these
things thinking that you know they're yours.

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Give them to me, and God
will give us a new identity. He'll

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he'll take our income and do great
things with it. You know, he'll

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take our influence and multiplied exponentially if
we just simply give it to him.

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But in our own hands it can
only be so many things, right,

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It'll never be miraculous, you know, it'll be ordinary, and give it

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to God will be extraordinary. Wow, that's good. That's a sermon.

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That is it. You should preach
it. I already did. Yes,

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you did. That was a good
one. Yes. So then Moses,

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with this miracle after miracle after miracle, still struggling with with going, Okay,

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God, you got this, and
he still thinks it's him. And

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how narcissistic are we that we still
think it's us? Right? So I

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okay, God, listen, I
hear what you're saying. Yes, the

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problem is I know me better than
you know me, and I know my

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circumstances better than you know my circumstances. So I don't know if you've heard,

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but I stutter. I just just
stutter, right, I don't know

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if you heard. But and it's
just today, Happy Gilmore. I'm sorry,

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Billy Madison. So the the absurd
thing is we as humans still tend

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to think we know more than God
knows, and that somehow we have some

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kind of inside information that God doesn't
have. And I think that that's where

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it shifts from. Oh, I
get it, you're a little nervous.

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Let me help you out a matter
of fact. That's nothing. Stick your

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hand in your shirt, watch it. That's nothing. That's nothing. Get

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some water and poured out on the
ground. Right, and and so he's

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God's helping Moses out here. Hey, I get it, you're a little

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nervous. People are going to believe
you. Here's some authority. Go in

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my name, right, that's what
we talked about yesterday. Use my name.

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People are gonna believe you if they
don't do these things. I gave

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you three three things. Was okay, But then Moses pivots into this,

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I've got some insider information. You
don't. You just don't know. You

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don't know. And it's amazing because
as humans, we don't We can't see

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very far, and we can't see
very much, but we often presume to

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tell God everything we feel like he
needs to know to get things right.

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Yes, right, and you know, by the way, you know what

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it is also a narcissisist narcissistics.
Oh mys Dick, and I blew this

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whole joke. Go ahead, I
blew the whole joke. I was going

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to say, leaving not returning your
shopping cards. I blew the joke.

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You pronounced narcissists. That's a callback
from from like episode two, right,

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so that's funny. Was an episode
two, but as long time. Yeah,

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I told h Kyle Crenshaw, who's
the campus executive campus pastor over in

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the city campus, returning shopping carts
not returning them is a really big thing

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with him, and he actually used
it recently in a sermon, and I

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said, I said, you should
have said, it's the being of narcissism.

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It is, so yeah, and
so Moses goes back and please.

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And by the way, we never
talked about the fact that God says,

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reach out and grab the snake by
its tail. Yeah, no, thank

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you, no, thank you.
You're supposed to grab a snake by its

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head or near its neck, right
right. You're not supposed to grab it

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by its tail, because if you
do that, then you know it's it's

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it's now. The more docile snakes
I've seen snake handlers grab them by their

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tails. You know the ones that
aren't going to be lethal. I've seen

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that before. But you know,
if it's a snake, that's I guess.

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It doesn't say cobra. Do you
hang out a lot with with snake

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handlers? I didn't mean personally,
I mean like if you watch movies,

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take movies some of my snake handle
and friends and and and and uh you

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watch those documentaries, right, Yeah, yeah, they pick up a snake.

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Sometimes they'll do it by its tail
or, sometimes like little clips.

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In all fairness, I have been
with snake handlers several times. So yeah,

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yeah, so sometimes I'll make it
fun of you. And I'm the

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nerd. Well, I just realized, even by me making that comment,

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I just assumed it was a cobra. I assumed it was a deadly snake,

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a deadly snake. But it doesn't
say that, does Is that what

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it says? No, it doesn't
say that alone. But but I picture

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myself like in the Middle East?
Remember, Uh, did I ever tell

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you the time I went to Middle
trying to kill you? Yes, when

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I went to the Africa, and
this quick story. There was a pastor

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there, Pastor Abraham, and uh, and he says, I said,

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hey, I have to use the
restroom. And it was number one,

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right, and he says, and
I said, where's the restroom? And

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then he motioned to the entire to
the entire plane. It's all the rest

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and he goes, he goes,
yeah, right there, just go use

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the restroom. Well, you know
that there's like a little bushes, right,

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there's no big tall trees, so
these bushes maybe stand up like waist

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high. Right, that's and so
you can basically see forever. Sure.

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Well, I decided to walk far
away from the village because I didn't want

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anybody to see me. I didn't
want to be rude, right, So

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I'm like, so I leave the
little enclosed village and the fences. I

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walk really far and I find a
bush and I'm standing behind this bush and

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I look over and as I'm in
the middle of my deal, I look

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over and there's a black mamba snake. And I just researched black mambas.

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I just I knew exactly what it
looked like. I looked over and it

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was probably maybe I'm trying to measure
here. I would say, twelve to

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fifteen feet away. Wow, And
they jump mambas are fast, Yeah,

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And they jumped that far in there, so it's fifteen feet away and it

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was curled up. And so right
away, I'm thinking myself like, okay,

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I hope I didn't need like a
sparagus or something like, you know,

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make it mad, make it mad. So I mean, I'm makes

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me mad. So I thought to
myself, Okay, immediately I have to

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I have to you know, stop, and which, by the way,

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is difficult. And then I just
decided to move slowly away. And then

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I decided to you know, go
far away. And I was scared out

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of my mind right and then I
go somewhere else. I finish up.

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I go back to the to the
to the village. I look over Pastor

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Abraham, and I am just literally
just I'm shaking, I'm sweating, I

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am scared out of my mind.
I thought that my By the way,

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did I mention that we had to
drive eleven hours to get there? And

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then we parked the car and walked
an hour. And if you get by

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a black mama, if you're not
treated in thirty minutes, you're dead.

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Yes, So literally that was death. That was literal death. There's no

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hope. And so anyway, I
go back to the village and I and

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I said to Abraham, I go, you'll never believe what just happened.

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And I just explained this whole thing
in a dramatic fashion, and he said,

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he did hand motions. Okay,
so for the listeners who aren't listening

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to me. He made hand motions
like a circle and then hand is like

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a wavy snake, and he goes, h was he says, was the

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black mamba like this? And he
did a circle motion and he goes,

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or was it like this? And
he did a waiting motion. And I

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said, well, it was like
this. I did the circle motion.

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He goes, oh, you're fine, that's what he says. So so

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he didn't even didn't even fret.
No big deal, no big deal,

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Yeah you're fine. Yeah. But
this one it was like this. It

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was wavy because he had to reach
down and grab it. But it may

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have been a do cele snake,
non poisonous. I doubt it. It

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wouldn't have been that cool of a
trick if if God did, that's right,

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that's it. So I'm gonna I'm
gonna assume considering how important cobras were

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picture God like like, come on, God, that's right, that's that's

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so as important as cobras were an
Egyptian art, Yes, head dressing,

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oh, you know what, that's
fine, paintings, all this. I'm

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going to guess that was a cobra. Yeah, me too. And guess

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what because God's trying to establish this
dominance over the gods of Egypt, and

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Cobra's were an Egyptian god. Yeah. And and Charton Neston's was a cobra.

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Yeah. Yeah, So there you
go appropriate there. Yeah, we

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got it on video. There's a
lot of laughter in this. Okay,

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Oh, that's so much. I
don't think it's getting any better. We

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better, we better shut this one
down. We're twenty three minutes. This

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00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:49.119
is so silly. We're better shut
this one down. That's right, I

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think. I think that's that's we
had a little video. It's so funny.

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Okay, okay, So did he
help I'm trying to wrap up with

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a good thought here, and I
want to leave on just on crying and

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laughing. So I guess there's a
lot of sermons in here, right,

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and he'll help you out. Yeah, And and and I think that you

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know, when he says, please
send somebody else, I think sometimes what

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we do is we come up with
excuses. There's another sermon. We come

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up with excuses, but we're trying
to hide the real reason we just don't

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want to do it right. We
didn't mention that yet, the fact that

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we said, well, you know, if I do give this money to

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help this lady down the street,
you know, I won't have enough to

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do this or this or that,
you know, Or we'll try to justify

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well, if I do go here, it might cost me, I might

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be late for this. You know. We'll come up with any excuse that

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we can, you know, but
if God nudges us to do a specific

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thing, the reality is sometimes we
actually just don't want to do it right,

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and so and and God can see
right through that. And it's only

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when God said, only when Moses
said no, that God actually got angry,

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which is what we mentioned at the
beginning. So all right, that's

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good. So we'll leave on that
note, and we're going to try harder

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tomorrow. It'll be better tomorrow.
We'll see you next time on the Bible. Guys,