WEBVTT 00:00:02.320 --> 00:00:20.455 Welcome to the Sandals Church podcast. My name is Chris, and I am a part of the online team here at Sandals Church. We are so happy to have you join us today as we listen to this message with pastor Fredo teaching from the gospel of Matthew. If you've enjoyed our I 00:00:26.215 --> 00:01:07.350 remember being so tired that I could literally hear myself counting the steps I had left to climb up the stairs, to make it into my room so I could just go to sleep. At this time in my life, I was working on a master's degree, attending the seminary, living in Louisville, Kentucky. And y'all, I was just having a day where I wanted to go to bed. I didn't want to talk to anyone and of course a roommate of mine by the name of Jack came up and approached me and realized I wasn't myself and he said, hey Fredo are you okay? And what had actually worn me down in this particular moment at this season of my life wasn't necessarily the classes I was taking, all the books I had to read to become a pastor that I have forgotten about now, or even the part time job as a high school basketball coach that I had to make a little bit money. 00:01:07.350 --> 00:01:36.520 No, what was wearing me down in that moment of my life was my shame. Shame because I was in seminary training to become a pastor, working on an education to help lead a church and I was struggling with pornography and it was spiraling out of control in my life. And so there I am internally carrying shame, holding it like a heavy weighted blanket wrapped around my body. And there Jack is my roommate asking me, Alfredo, are you okay? And I realized I have an option in my in my life right there. 00:01:36.600 --> 00:02:37.490 I could just gently dismiss his question, go into my room, close the door, fall asleep, and most likely lead out a life in which I become another statistic in the church as a pastor who has a private life that is not healthy in which it's just bound to explode at any moment. But for some reason, by the strange and painful mercy of God, I stayed in that hallway and my roommates question allowed me to fumble into a conversation that led me to stumble through a confession of sin where my shame was met by grace and forgiveness and the specific kind of kindness that to this day has changed the direction of my life where where there has been a different kind of growth and freedom that I never could have possibly imagined. And I openly share that story with you today because I know and fully realize that it's actually my weaknesses and not my strength that make me a helpful pastor to you guys. It's exactly what it is. I also share that with you because I know I'm not alone in this. 00:02:37.865 --> 00:03:13.785 Those of you who are parents, you are raising children, trying to help them navigate their own desires as well. Some of you are young adults wrestling with how do you follow Jesus in a way that brings your desires in alignment to what Jesus calls you to. Some of you are in a relationship right now where I would imagine there are some secrecy going on that is destroying you. And you see all of us find ourselves living in a moment right now where our unchecked sexual desires wreak havoc on our lives. And so Jesus today, we continue through the Gospel of Matthew, has a word for us on our sexuality, particularly our desires. 00:03:13.945 --> 00:03:33.695 Now, I think about our desires, there are kind of two paths for us to take. Generally speaking, There's a kind of cultural path in story and a religious path in story. What I mean by that is this, in culture today when it comes to our desires, we're regularly told that if you have a desire for something, satisfy it. You got a craving? Nurture it. 00:03:34.335 --> 00:03:38.895 You got an appetite? Meet it. Like that song, I want it. I got it. I want it. 00:03:38.895 --> 00:04:07.695 I got it. I forget who sings that. And oftentimes, this vision of our desires is is one that's understood in terms of immediate gratification which is why when it comes to porn sites today, they're more visited than Amazon, Netflix, and Twitter combined each month. Over a third of us are exposed to unwanted ads on a regular basis. 35% of all information that's transferred across the Internet is porn related. 00:04:07.935 --> 00:04:32.645 And in a survey that was done about two decades ago, individuals who had admitted to having an extramarital affair confessed that they were 300 more likely... 300% more likely to look at porn than those who hadn't had an affair. Columbia University did a study a few years ago that said men between the ages of 18 to 35 look at porn at least once a week. Over 80% of them do. And for women it's about 30%. 00:04:32.645 --> 00:04:51.450 It's an astounding thing. And there's a narrative today that says, if you have a desire, meet it. And I would imagine even as you kind of hear some of those stats, there might be some of you who are tempted to think, well, what's the big deal though? Does it really matter what I choose to do in the privacy of my own home with my own body? It's not hurting anybody. 00:04:51.610 --> 00:05:13.150 And to that, would just offer this question, What do you think your life would look like in fifty years if you haven't learned to practice self control? What will it look like? Now that's one vision of desire. The other one is a religious one that really sees all of our desires as bad. All of our longings as bad and any kind of desire you have for pleasure is ultimately a bad one. 00:05:13.150 --> 00:05:51.655 Your body even is kind of a bad thing. And so unlike the kind of cultural idea of desire that kind of wants us to satisfy, the religious view says we can suppress our desires. And I just want to caution us that especially in the church, anytime you feel the need to suppress your desires, you know what that generally leads to? More secrecy and more hypocrisy. Because whatever you can't freely name and whatever you can't freely talk about is often a reminder of what you are still enslaved to in your life, which is why here at sandals church we use the language of authenticity because unless you're willing to get real, you will never be free of those things. 00:05:52.295 --> 00:06:31.970 And so I realize that this is a very sensitive topic. And so as we get ready to hear Jesus's teachings, which we so desperately need because he will invite us to consider our desires in a way that's not inviting us to just satisfy them all the time nor is he saying to suppress them all the time. He's got a different path for us. And so as we get ready to read from Matthew five, I I wanna go slow and just invite you just in the quietest of your own heart to ask God what he specifically wants to say to you about this passage in your life. And then when you're ready and willing and able, would you stand with me for the reading God's word. 00:06:35.970 --> 00:07:03.080 Matthew chapter five beginning in verse 27. Jesus says, You have heard the commandment that says, you must not commit adultery. But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye, even your good eye, causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 00:07:03.080 --> 00:07:21.135 And if your hand, even your stronger hand, causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. As you can see, a really easy sermon today. But this is God's word. Let's pray together. 00:07:26.230 --> 00:07:45.435 Father, as we have gathered here in this space today, pause in prayer to recognize that you have gathered here with us too. And so we ask now that in the words of Jesus, you would give us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we might become all that you desire us to be in him. We pray these things in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. 00:07:45.435 --> 00:07:46.955 Thank you so much. You may be seated. 00:07:47.275 --> 00:08:05.270 We are so glad that you are with us today. If this message has served you in any way or you would like to be a part of the work that we are doing here at Sandals Church, I wanna invite you to give today. You can do that by going to give.sc at any time. And for right now, let's get right back into the message with pastor Grito. 00:08:07.055 --> 00:08:44.075 Now, for anyone of us who are getting familiar with the person of Jesus, there's one thing that becomes abundantly clear at this point and it's that you cannot fool the man Jesus. He's too brilliant. And where we find ourselves here in the sermon on the mount is a unique place where Jesus in Matthew five chapter six and chapter seven is laying out a vision of what real life looks like. And if you wanna be a disciple, you wanna follow him, this is what you're invited to do. And the reason why you can't fool him is because he is fully aware that it's very possible to live a life in which on the kind of outside the external, you know, kind of version of your life, it can look a certain way. 00:08:44.315 --> 00:09:09.655 You might even look religiously good, but then internally you're rotting away. You're a complete mess. And so what he's doing here in these few chapters is drilling down beneath the surface to where our heart is at. Showing us that what God is ultimately after is heart transformation. And so the sermon on mount is all about what it means to be fully transformed as you are a disciple of Jesus and what life in his kingdom is ultimately like. 00:09:09.655 --> 00:09:47.205 This is an invitation to a brand new way of life and a brand new way of being. And in this sermon, he talks about everything from what we just read on lust and sexuality, money, prayer, anger, murder, marriage. He covers a wide range of things and they're challenging teachings as we just read. And it's natural and it's even unfortunate that for many Christians because it's such a challenging set of teachings for us to kind of conclude after we read something like that and just think, well, you know what Jesus is saying is it's impossible to live up to this so you just need to trust God. And that's one way to read this passage and I think it's an unfortunate way to read the passage. 00:09:48.020 --> 00:10:17.290 The way that I think he's actually inviting us in to read is to say no, trust God so that you can live this out. That's what he's inviting us to do. And his emphasis here in our time today is on our desires and helping us understand that our desires, when they go unchecked, when they spiral out of control, they they not only destroy us, but they destroy everyone around us. Let's look, particularly at verses twenty seven and twenty eight. He says, you have heard the commandment that says, you must not commit adultery. 00:10:17.610 --> 00:10:47.470 But I say, anyone who has even looked at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. You'll notice here in this passage, there's kind of like this this repetitive phrase that Jesus is using throughout the Sermon on the Mount and uses it here where he says, you've heard it said, but I say to you. And this is a good word for us because it's very common for us to, you know, have heard it said in culture about our desires. You've heard it said from religion about your desires. You've heard it said from your family upbringing about desires. 00:10:47.470 --> 00:11:05.335 But he's saying, but I say to you. In other words, what Jesus is doing in the Sermon on the Mount is unearthing all of the long held assumptions you and I have had about ourselves, about the world, about other people, and about God. And he's challenging those assumptions. He said, man, I know you've heard it said. I know that entertainment has said this. 00:11:05.655 --> 00:11:15.250 I know that your your relationship background has said this, but I say to you today. And he said, you should not commit adultery. Now, you know, at some level, all of us are like, okay. Well, cool. I'm alright. 00:11:15.410 --> 00:11:22.690 I'm good. Like, I haven't broken that one. But then he presses further. That's the seventh commandment, quoting from the 10 commandments. He presses further. 00:11:22.690 --> 00:11:42.880 But I say to you, anyone who's even looked at a woman with lust in his heart has already committed adultery. What is what is he doing there? Jesus is is helping to press down on a few things regarding our lust. But let's be clear before we kind of, you know, land the plane on what we think he's saying. Let's first kind of nuance this out first. 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:58.475 Is not talking about the appreciation of beauty. Think about that for a second. He is not worried about you and I appreciating beauty. Genesis chapter one, God created the entire world. He stands back and he called it good. 00:11:58.475 --> 00:12:26.125 The word there in Hebrew is tov. It means beautiful. In other words, God in the creation of the world, in the very beginning of the biblical story stands back from it all and says, this is beautiful and I enjoy it. In other words, Jesus is not concerned with you and I appreciating beauty. The challenge in our lives today though is how do we get to a place where we can appreciate the beauty we see but not wanna devour it and not wanna consume it and not wanna, you know, bend it to our will and just use it for our own good. 00:12:26.205 --> 00:12:54.355 Secondly, Jesus is not talking about the temporary moment of attraction, nor is he worried about you having a desire for sexual intimacy with someone else. That's not what he's after here. It's real easy to read this passage and think that, you know, Jesus is just some single monk on a hill who doesn't want you to have a good time. This is not a passage about sexual repression. In other words, let me be abundantly clear. 00:12:54.355 --> 00:13:10.600 It's not a sin to be attracted to somebody. It is not a sin to desire sexual intimacy. It is not a sin when you are tempted by what someone is wearing or doing that you see in real life or on screen. You know what that's all called? That's called being a human being, y'all. 00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:31.925 That's what that is. And so I want to clarify that because in... Especially in the church, it's easy for us to be just embarrassed by our desires. And so I'm just here to tell you right now, you know, being sexual is not the opposite of being holy. Can I get an amen in here for that? 00:13:32.610 --> 00:13:54.735 Like being sexual is not the opposite of being holy. Thirdly, also notice Jesus mainly addresses men but not only men. He says, if anyone look looks at a woman, notice who he's talking to. He's talking to men. Why is he doing Well remember in his day, was a common practice for even religious people to view women as objects not as subjects. 00:13:55.055 --> 00:14:13.990 And so even in marriage, you didn't get married in that day for romantic purposes or because you love them. You got married a lot of the times for social status and for childbearing. And so it was common even amongst religious leaders to objectify women in that day. To not see them as persons, but as things. And Jesus is challenging that. 00:14:13.990 --> 00:14:41.020 Add to that, it was very common in that day for men to blame women for their lust. Some of you know what that's like today and that happens in the church where it's a woman's fault that a man is feeling some kind of way about them. Right? So Jesus in his language is specifically challenging that. And so he's mainly addressing men, but not only addressing men, especially given the reality that you know women are increasingly becoming more addicted to porn. 00:14:41.420 --> 00:14:56.255 You jump on TikTok and see how many women flood target for the new erotic novel that just dropped. Right? And it sells out in minutes. And so it's a problem for them as well. But what Jesus is after, listen now, is a kind of looking at someone that is a gaze. 00:14:56.575 --> 00:15:20.525 The word there look means, it's got kind of a wide range of meaning. But one way to understand the word is you are gazing at somebody and the verb form is in the present ongoing tense. So last week when pastor Matt talked about anger, he was explaining anger as this kind of harboring, like bitterness. You're nursing a grudge. In other words, it's not, you know, you get angry because someone, you know, cut in front of you on the road, you give them your special finger. 00:15:20.605 --> 00:15:29.260 He's talking about an anger that you... Is is is long. It draws out. The same is true here. When you look at someone, when you're gazing at someone, it's drawn out. 00:15:29.260 --> 00:16:05.600 You begin to fantasize in your mind. And to lust after them, it's actually a religious word that means you're now turning that person into an object for your own sexual gratification. So to lust after someone is to see someone not as a human, but as a thing, and as a thing that can give you some gratification you think you need in the moment. And so what Jesus is really wanting to drill down in our hearts is to say, it's not so much about the first look, but what you decide to do after that. And it's at this point of the sermon that we all know what Jesus is talking about. 00:16:05.600 --> 00:16:26.245 We have all had a little, you know, case of the rubberneck in our life where we give in to a second look. And this is the danger. A first look can quickly become a second look. And let me just warn all of us that a second look takes more than just your sight. It begins to steal your soul. 00:16:26.860 --> 00:16:42.985 That's what a second look does. And this is precisely it's here that Jesus is rightly addressing our problem. We turn people into objects. Lusting is an issue of objectification. You are using someone for your own pleasure. 00:16:43.625 --> 00:17:30.000 And so in this part of the Sermon on the Mount, what Jesus is inviting us to consider is that as you begin to follow him, as you live life in his kingdom, you realize that as a disciple, I no longer see people as something to use, but rather as someone to love. You move away from the propensity to simply see someone as an object that is useful to you, and you rather see them as someone who's made in the image of God. They are worthy of your respect, your honor, and ultimately your love. Jesus' strong language here is coming at us in that way because to act like this, to treat someone like this goes against the greatest commandment he ever gave us. Notice there in Matthew 22, it says, you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and all your mind. 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:45.945 And then he goes on to say, this is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself. So to use somebody for your own sexual gratification is not loving them. It is not loving them. 00:17:46.105 --> 00:18:08.055 I don't care how you think it might, you know, relieve your stress or help you out or just help you get through the day. You are not loving them. This is a challenge. And instead of honoring them and honoring love, this this becomes a vicious cycle of consumption. Consumption where you move from one desire to the next. 00:18:08.055 --> 00:18:25.000 You're never satisfied. You're never at peace. And many of us are aware of what this is like. Underneath the objectification of women, Jesus is saying, you're using them for gratification and notice what he calls it there at the end of the verse. This is an adultery of the heart. 00:18:28.240 --> 00:19:17.325 There there is a, in other words, an internal spiritual disease that's bent all of us out of shape, which means then no one just wakes up in the morning and has an affair in the afternoon on accident, you know, because you didn't like your overnight oats or your coffee was a hidden. This according to Jesus, if it's an adultery of the heart is something that happens months ago, years ago, decades ago. Why? Because a first look turned into a second look And it was at that point in your life where you began to warp in your heart some twisted understanding of love and lust. And those things are not the same. 00:19:17.405 --> 00:19:26.220 Think of the Apostle Paul. First Corinthians 13. The first way that he describes love is what? Love is patient. Love is patient. 00:19:26.540 --> 00:20:00.670 Love is patient and lust is always in a rush. If love is a selfless act where you put the good of another person ahead of your own, Lust by definition is a selfish act in which it's almost a narcissistic expression in a sexual encounter. And I need to clarify this because we live in a culture today that wants to sell you lust disguised as love. And through our entertainment, through our conversations, through our relationships, oftentimes when we say I love you, what we ultimately mean is I want you and I want to devour you. I want to consume you. 00:20:00.670 --> 00:20:17.895 I want to use you, not as a person, but as a thing for my own gratification. This is a dangerous place to live. And so Jesus then helps us see a way out because there is always a way out. Here here's where we need to like kind of start to break through and sense hope. There is a way out friends. 00:20:18.215 --> 00:20:34.750 Notice what he goes on to say in verses 29 and proceeding. So if your eye, even your good eye causes you to lust, gouge it out or throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Pluck it out, he says. Rip that thing out. 00:20:34.750 --> 00:21:02.090 He goes on. If your right hand, even your strong hand, this is the NLT so it's like your strong hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. For those of you who are maybe new to the Bible and new to church, because there's a lot of US sandals like that, this is a part where you're probably like, wow, Jesus is a bit intense. But he's not speaking literally here. 00:21:02.265 --> 00:21:28.730 And it's at this moment of my preparation I thought, well this would be some good sermon application. We'll have an altar call, I got a lightsaber in one hand, the sword of Gondor in the other, and we'll just make some sacrifices up top. But just think about this, he's not teaching self mutilation because if he was y'all, he missed the most obvious part of the body to cut off. Right? Can I say that? 00:21:30.805 --> 00:21:42.885 So he's not speaking literally. We'll just let that moment pass. Right? It's hyperpolitic. It's the same kind of way that he said last week when he was talking about anger. 00:21:43.350 --> 00:21:57.910 And he says, if you still got an issue with someone, you know, leave your sacrifice at the altar and run all the way home. That that's a dramatic way. Think about someone. They traveled miles, weeks to get to the temple to make a sacrifice and Jesus is saying, if you got anger in your heart, gotta go all the way back home. It's hyperbole. 00:21:58.285 --> 00:22:22.250 It's meant to intensify what you should do to deal with it. His point is simple, that as a disciple, I must drastically cut out anything in my life that objectifies others. Drastically cut it out. And in the NIV, I love the language there where he says, you know, if you don't cut it off, you're going to stumble into hell. I love how practical he is. 00:22:22.250 --> 00:22:26.010 You're gonna stumble. You know, often you see someone stumble. It's like, my gosh. Oh my gosh. And they... 00:22:26.010 --> 00:22:33.265 But then they get up. But then sometimes they do it again. Right? It's very practical language. You're gonna stumble your way into hell. 00:22:33.265 --> 00:22:49.340 Now the word there hell, it's it's, you know, it's natural for us to think kind of an eternal place where everyone goes to burn. But imagine his original hearers, the word there is Gehenna. Gehenna was an actual place in Jerusalem. We learned about this last week. It's this trash dump outside the city gates where everything was burned. 00:22:49.340 --> 00:23:08.520 And so what he's saying is, if you don't learn to drastically cut out the things in your life that lead you to use people, you're going to experience a hell on earth in your life. Where your desires not just devour other people, they devour you. Amen. And you experience a hell on earth in your life. And some of you know what this is like. 00:23:08.920 --> 00:23:37.280 A hell on earth that turns into, an addiction you can't break away from. Hell on earth in the in the form that you're unable to actually sexually connect with your spouse. A hell on earth in the form of, you know, you don't have any kind of intimacy with people because you primarily experience them as objects to use. And so you struggle with friendships. You struggle to just have conversations with people cause you're warped and enslaved. 00:23:37.280 --> 00:23:54.345 You're burning right now. Hell on earth in the form of just a collapse of a marriage. Right. Because this secret you thought has was just gonna hide out for a long time. Hell on earth in the form of just the the fallout of an affair. 00:23:56.345 --> 00:24:24.665 Gehenna is real right now y'all, for some of you. And so it's time to cut it out and to consider that Jesus is inviting all of us into a whole new way to be a human being. And I want you to hear me. This is difficult, yes, but it's not impossible. It is incredibly difficult, but it is not impossible because it's one way to read this passage like, you know, Jesus, you lived in Nazareth. 00:24:24.825 --> 00:24:35.040 I'm growing up in California, bro. Like, it's just hard. You... I can't even go to Sprouts, you know, without seeing things. And it's not. 00:24:35.040 --> 00:24:55.695 But again, this is difficult. Yes. But it is not impossible. Through I think community, teaching and practice or discipline primarily through the power of the Holy Spirit, you can experience transformation. Listen to Paul work this out for us as Christians. 00:24:55.695 --> 00:25:21.235 Galatians five, he says, so I say walk by the spirit. Walk by the spirit. In other words, your your life becomes one in which you're thinking, you're feeling, you're acting is in line with the Holy Spirit. So that you're not just operating as culture would say, satisfy your desires, nor are you trying to suppress them. You are learning to surrender them in love to the power of the Holy Spirit in your life. 00:25:21.475 --> 00:25:39.840 Then he goes on to say, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Amen. Means then that second look to lust, yes, is a habit, but it's not like the law of gravity. It's not inevitable. It can be broken. 00:25:40.480 --> 00:26:01.390 And over time we can become the kinds of people who experience progress, not perfection, but progress in the way where we no longer use people, but we learn to love them. Do you guys understand that? But what will it cost you according to Jesus? An arm and a leg. A lot. 00:26:01.550 --> 00:26:19.455 And so I want us all just to sit with this question. What are the drastic measures I need to take in order to cut out lust from my life? What are the things you need to do right now to cut this stuff out? For some of you, it's an issue with entertainment. Maybe for some of you, it's you don't date certain people anymore. 00:26:20.575 --> 00:26:37.050 Maybe for some of you, you don't go to certain places that you know aren't going to be good for your eyes or your ears or your body. Maybe for some of you you deal with some of the apps that are on your phone. You get some passwords. You give your phone up to people. Maybe for some of you you're not alone anymore. 00:26:37.130 --> 00:26:45.155 Right? Like you got to figure out what you need. You go to bed on time. Nothing, you know, after 2AM is really helpful. So go to sleep. 00:26:46.355 --> 00:27:08.295 Take a magnesium gummy. You know, figure it out, y'all. Maybe for some of you, you learn to sacrifice an extra few hours of the week so that you can show up to a recovery group here at Sandals Church and let people walk with you through this. Because yes, Jesus is helping us to consider the external boundaries. Cut things out of your life. 00:27:08.375 --> 00:27:23.095 Get rid of it right away. But I wonder if he's just saying like he could have gone and said cut out your eye, cut out your arm, cut off your leg, cut off your head. Right? In other words, he's saying, yes, there's an external boundary to this, but there's also an internal one too. Something in the heart has to begin to change. 00:27:23.255 --> 00:27:52.565 And I wonder if that's why he was kind of using that kind of imagery to show us like you can set up all the external boundaries you need, but at the end of the day, in the heart must change. Which is why I think Jesus is just a brilliant teacher in the way he diagnoses the human condition. Because you could set up all the boundaries you want, you can avoid looking at all kinds of people, but at the end of the you still gotta have issues in your heart. Like, fellows, let me just speak to you directly. A woman could be head to toe in a poncho, and some of you will still start feeling some kind of way. 00:27:54.470 --> 00:28:32.820 Why? Because you need something internal needs to change. You know, that night when I was stuck in the hallway when I wanted to go to sleep and I found myself confessing sin, my roommate Jack in his kindness began to ask questions of me that helped me understand this unhealthy habit in my life. In other words, he would ask Fredo, when are you most vulnerable in these moments? And what he was doing there was helping me connect the dots that beneath or what's really connected to your unhealthy habits and my unhealthy habits are stories and lies that we believe. 00:28:33.700 --> 00:29:21.730 And for me it was an issue of control and comfort and isolation. Meaning these unhealthy habits were manifesting because beneath the surface in my soul, I had believed lies and stories about, my lack of control, my feeling alone, me not doing enough and being accepted. And so it was a powerful moment where I began to connect the dots that there were some narratives beneath the surface that I had to address. And so here's what I want you to consider then when it comes to addictions and not just like sexual addictions, but addictions to food, addictions to work, addictions to shopping, to relationships, to sex, whatever it is. Oftentimes, listen, our addictions are a strategy for soothing our souls. 00:29:22.130 --> 00:29:53.020 In other words, you're trying to cope and deal with a much deeper wound and whatever you're giving yourself to all the time is an attempt to get at that. And so you can set up all the external boundaries you need, but at some level you're going to have to ask yourself, when am I most vulnerable? And what are the lies that I'm believing about myself that are leading me to act out in this particular kind of way? Because the antidote for so many of us is just to consume more stuff. Consume other people, consume our work, consume food as a way to soothe what's going on. 00:29:53.820 --> 00:30:28.170 And what happened in that conversation is he began to help me understand that to to break free of this, it meant not just trying to avoid something, but try to give myself to something. If in other words, if you continue to view your Christian life as all the things you should avoid because you want to follow Jesus, you're gonna live a joyless life. But if you understand that Christianity is not just about what you avoid but what you give yourself to, you're gonna experience transformation. And so as you begin to understand where you're vulnerable, you gotta ask yourself, okay, what do I need to give myself to? In other words, what's gonna help me soothe my soul in a way that actually restores me? 00:30:28.730 --> 00:30:55.490 Because what was happening in that moment, I was confusing consumption for communion. That's what it was. Consumption is an attempt to soothe the soul, a wound, but what your soul needs in that moment is communion. Not just what you would avoid, but what you're going to give yourself to. And so as a disciple, you understand that transformation begins as I trade consumption for communion. 00:30:55.650 --> 00:31:24.720 And I'll be real practical here. This might come off a bit strange, but this is how it works itself out in my life to this day. When I find myself maybe, stressed, feeling like the week was, you know, not what I would hope for, or feeling like I'm a bit out of control, what I do still to this day as as as a regular part of helping me experience communion and not consumption, I light a candle in my house. No lie y'all. I light a candle. 00:31:25.600 --> 00:31:41.305 I don't throw out the computer. I don't have all these programs. I light a candle. Why? Because a candle, as you know from the old testament, is a reminder of God's loving presence to us and that he desires to commune with us. 00:31:41.945 --> 00:32:05.495 And so to this day, when I know I'm most vulnerable during my week, I will light a candle in my house as a way to say, Fredo, you belong to someone. And whatever you might try to think about or need to give yourself to as as a form of consumption, it's not going to do what you need it to do. You need communion in this moment. So I light a candle and I I offer that up as an idea for you. You know? 00:32:05.495 --> 00:32:37.200 I'm sure Amazon's gonna have a meeting this week like, what's up with all the candle sales going on? But this profoundly changed my my approach to not just this area of my life, but all areas of my life. Knowing that what is going to deal with the deep wounds is communion with Jesus. Now of course, some of you might be sitting back thinking we waited thirty minutes for you just to say sit with Jesus and light a candle. Yeah. 00:32:39.920 --> 00:33:09.470 But here here's here's what's immensely helpful. In that conversation with my roommate Jack, not only did he help me understand the deeper stories that my soul was believing, He got real close to me and he said, Fredo, I'm going to fast with you to break this. So in that moment, he immediately brought up a practice I had given myself to in the past. But you know, like many of you guys, like I treat fasting as a thing that I do to get something from God. Like I need a job. 00:33:09.470 --> 00:33:33.170 I'm gonna fast. I want a relationship. I'm gonna fast. And he said, no, no, we're gonna we're gonna fast as a way to practice surrendering desires so that in surrendering something and depriving yourself of something, you're going to create more space for communion of God to enter. So when you hear me say you need communion with Jesus, I want to offer this practice to you to learn to fast. 00:33:33.170 --> 00:34:06.690 Not as a way to satisfy desires or to suppress them, but learn to surrender them and allow Jesus in his grace to reorder them in your life. So that as you say no to food or notice notice something else, what you're doing is you're saying, God, I'm creating space for you to come in and commune with me to to to fill me up, to heal me, and to restore me into a place where I become the kind of person who knows how to love people well and not use them out of some deep wound. So so when you think about it, fasting in this way does not let unmet desires define us. No. No. 00:34:06.690 --> 00:34:27.065 Fasting rather begins to refine us. That's the goal here. And so as as you're thinking about wherever you're at in life, consider this practice. And I simply want us to just to close not just with a practice, but with thinking about the life of Jesus as it relates to this. You know, he called it in this passage adultery. 00:34:27.625 --> 00:34:45.440 And if you're familiar with the story of scripture, going all the way back to the old testament, one of the ways that God describes our sin to him, you guys know what it is? Adultery. Israel has been declared as an adulterous people. Meaning we turn our backs regularly on God. We don't stay committed to him. 00:34:45.585 --> 00:35:02.230 We don't stay loyal to him, and yet the good news of the gospel is that it doesn't matter how many times you turn your back on God, he'll never turn his back on you. He will never turn his back on you. And so this is good news for many of you who feel stuck today, who are trapped in an addiction, you need to stand up today. You need to get up today. Why? 00:35:02.230 --> 00:35:11.510 Because God is loyal to you. He is committed to you. Yes, you have been adulterous. We have all been adulterous. But the good news of Jesus is that He is committed to us. 00:35:11.670 --> 00:35:35.830 So committed to us that He went to the cross. He didn't think He had different desires, different wants, different needs in that moment, but he remained committed to us not just at the risk of his own life, but at the cost of his life. And the reason why that is, is because from the beginning of the Bible, God has been described as a God who loves us with a Hesed kind of love. It's a Hebrew word to describe committed love, faithful love, a loyal love. He will not turn his back on you. 00:35:35.830 --> 00:35:58.400 So much so that every day he's got fresh mercies for you guys. Every day there is new mercy, new grace, new love, new patience to tap into from God who loves you. And it is always available to you. No matter how far you run away from God, he will still pursue you in his love. He is always loving towards you and I. 00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:22.955 Always loving towards you and I. And Paul, yes, amen. And and the apostle Paul beautifully describes this there in Romans two where he says, can't can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? Some of you need to hear this deep into your soul. You don't repent of sin in order to get God's kindness. 00:36:22.955 --> 00:36:58.980 No. It's because he's kind to you right now that you are able to turn from your sin and transform. Right now, wherever you find yourself squirming, tired, irritated, broken down, whatever, God is kind to you. In the same way that I looked into the eyes of my roommate facing that embarrassing question, knowing that I needed to confess, all I saw in his face was kindness, was kindness. And in that moment it was a picture of God's kindness towards us. 00:36:59.700 --> 00:37:46.875 Wherever you are at today, please know that God is kind to you and he invites you transform, to change, to to no longer believe the lie that satisfaction in order to be happy is what you need or that suppression and denial is what you need, but surrendering. A surrendering to love that leads you to a different way of life. Let's pray together. Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for the good news that you are a kind God to sinners. And so we ask now that by the power of your Holy Spirit, you would help us to surrender to you and to participate in our transformation in the way that we cut things out of our lives. 00:37:47.115 --> 00:38:00.820 And so would you lead us to a place where we can with the eyes of our heart, see you loving us, being kind to us so that we might transform and change our lives. We pray these things in Jesus name. Amen. Thank 00:38:03.140 --> 00:38:14.675 you so much for tuning in today. If you want more content from the series, we have the YouTube playlist linked in the description. And if you want more information about who we are and what we do, you can go to sandalschurch.com.