Aila (01:08)
Hi everyone, I'm Ila. Welcome to Inside the Practitioner's Path. Today I want to talk about abundance, money, creating, manifesting, all of that really, really fun stuff. And how I feel like remembering who we truly are, our essence, the ground we're standing on, the truth of ourselves.

the truth of what's there, holding everything behind the scenes, animating everything, how remembering that totally changes how I create, what I create, when I create. It's like the secret ⁓ power that we all have access to that's going on, that if we know about it, it's just so generative.

and leads to so many new ways of creating what we need, what we want.

So when I was pregnant with Aero, some of you, I'm sure, have heard this story. But I have a condition called hyperamesis gravidorum. So when I get pregnant, I get very, very, very sick and like debilitated, essentially, where there's periods of time from the moment I'm pregnant, day one, all the way until I give birth, where every day I'm throwing up, every day I'm nauseous. Some periods of time are way more intense than others.

But when I was pregnant with Ara, my third baby, I had my practice, my husband stay at home dad, we had Orion. Orion was three when we got pregnant and I had a really full practice and we wanted to have another baby and we had to go into

that pregnancy really understanding that we don't know what the road will look like. I might get really, really sick or I might not. It's always different. So we didn't really know. But at that time, so this was six years ago or so, almost seven years ago, I was working with Barb Patterson. I hired her to be my coach.

And it was right before I got pregnant, but we knew we were gonna start trying. So it was very smart to hire her. And what happened for me was totally the expected. I got pregnant and I got so sick that I had this, I had this happen where I, in the past, when I had gotten sick during my pregnancy with Orion, I didn't have as much.

going on professionally. was easier for me to keep things very simple and to reschedule here or there. And it wasn't as happening, I'll say, in my work. So it was just a whole different landscape. now, four years later, it was different. I was holding a lot. had, I think, 16 clients or so. I had a group. I was doing a lot.

and serving a lot and I really wanted to increase my income during my pregnancy so that I could take a maternity leave and just have that cushion so I could take as many months as I wanted to with Arrow once he was born. And when I was about six weeks pregnant I got so sick that I remember talking to Barb and just saying I think I need to return money.

I think I need to do refunds. And I remember looking at it. was like, it was somewhere like $60,000 or more. Probably could have been like 90 of clients that I had committed to, to show up for. And I really didn't want to do refunds. I didn't want to, but more, you know, more importantly, I wanted to be in integrity. And if these people wanted coaching, I wanted them to get coaching, whether it was from me or someone else. So I remember talking to her.

And I was just like, I can't show up. Like I, there's no way I can look at my schedule ahead and see that I have 10 sessions this week and show up for them. There's no way. And I remember talking to her and she just was encouraging me to remember what's true. And there was one thing she said that was really just sticks with me to this day. And it was like, do you really, she said something like, do you really think that.

the creative intelligence behind all of life that creates all that there is and in all of existence, like can't handle this, like can't solve this. Like that it can't find a way to support you through this. And I remember just like, I was just dropping into that feeling of like, oh my God, is that true?

Is that really true that no matter the situation, no matter the circumstance, no matter what I've choice I've made, you know, I really regretted getting pregnant for a while there. It was like I was in so much suffering inside my body and I was really regretting it. And I was worried about my practice and worry about our livelihood and worried about the home we had just bought and worried about the people I take care of. So I was having a lot of fear and anxiety around all of that.

contributing to not feeling.

And we had that conversation where essentially what I heard inside myself was, can I take it day to day and not get catastrophic in my thinking, but just keep everything on my calendar and show up each day and just consider each hour really, can I do this session right now with this client? Sometimes it meant like literally throwing up TMI, sorry people.

walking from the bathroom to my office, sitting down, throwing up again, turning on my computer, hitting start on my Zoom meeting, and just seeing, literally getting that close, like getting out of my head completely, can I, can't I? And just, if I could get there, let me see about the next moment and the next moment.

And there were very few sessions I canceled and then there were several clients that I called or I talked to in one way or another and I just said, hey, can we do asynchronous coaching for a month? Just for a month and see how it goes. So, and so I, I did lighten it up. I lightened it up a little, but the many of the clients I kept on the calendar and it was like, what I was looking at was

How do I find my... How do I keep looking at...

What's the underpinning? What's supporting me? What's holding this all together? What's making this all work? What's making it all happen? What is working behind the scenes? essentially, what's my true nature? Like, what is it? What's the nature of it? So things I was feeling into was like, it's creative in the moment. It's full of creative ideas. There's always a way through.

Now this is the part where I feel like my ideas about what's right and wrong and good and bad needed to come tumbling down. I had to let it be okay that I was showing up really sick. I thought you shouldn't work sick. In this case, it was like, no, I'm going to try and see what it's like is see if I can help my clients. They'll let me know, you know, if it's terrible or not, they'll let me know, but let me just test out that.

idea, see if it's real, if I can show up and let inspiration and love and support flow through me, no matter what's going on in my vessel, like no matter what is occurring. The true nature of what's holding all of us and supporting all of us is like it flows through any, into and through any container.

Like the service could flow through any way that my business was needing to take shape. That pushed all my buttons. That was like, no, I'm a coach that shows up in real time. I don't do this wishy washy asynchronous coaching thing that I hear about and I judge. So I had to embrace like this shadow part that's like, no, I do. You know, I judge that way of working as like.

know what not rich enough or deep enough or present enough the clients I did that with absolutely loved it but I had to be open to receive all the ideas about next steps I could take to meet my situation and to welcome in insight around how to move forward and how to create money when I look back I just did this recently I I build more that month than almost any other month of my career

I created new clients, I renewed clients that month where I thought I needed to refund upwards of $60,000. I ended up billing close to that on top of what I had already billed. So it's like this fact that it's like the more spiritually interested I am and meaning the more I'm willing to look at the unseen, look at what really has my back, what's really on offer when I feel this.

Scaredest when I'm the most afraid Looking in that direction of like, okay. Is this really bad? Is this really bad news here? Or is something else possible? I wonder what else is possible and Looking in that direction truly just like being guided by Barb who's such a genius in terms of business and money creating and

new ideas and all of that and understanding the depth of what's really going on behind the scenes. Her guiding me to look in that direction like constantly through my pregnancy with Arrow. It led to thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, literally thousands of dollars, a whole basically nine months of income and I took a

five month maternity leave, four to five months. Very generative, know, very, very practical. I know there's always this like idea that the more spiritually interested we become and the more we surrender and the more we open up, the more we like release our ideas about what should happen and how it should happen, that somehow we're going to end up homeless and under a bridge. And I just...

call BS on that. mean, I really appreciate it. know that line of energy in me that's like, if I'm spiritual and happy, I don't care if I'm homeless. I care. I want all the money for all the things that help me take care of my family and myself. And I just have such an appreciation that the possibilities of what any of us can create in any given moment.

given our circumstance, like whatever situation you're in right now. If you're a brand new coach and you're like, how do I create a client? How do I create my, my needs, my financial needs for this month? How do I create income to match my expenses? Like, I don't know how. That's a good place to start. I don't know how.

I don't know how, meaning my thoughts, my thinking, my ideas, my memory, not sufficient. That's like really what I want to point to here. This is the real surrendering. It's like appreciating that my imagination that looks out into the future and says something bad's happening. Can I surrender that whole idea that I'm right about that?

It's like so silly when I really feel into it that we could forecast into the future and know what's going to happen. And if we're forecasting into the future, why wouldn't we imagine it going really well? We're totally making up, we're living in imagination.

But I understand it. It's like the fear is so I know scarcity consciousness. I know how like hard that feeling is. And being able to be present with that feeling is so helpful too, because it's not about welcoming that feeling like come on in and stay forever and dictate my life and my choices. It's like, come on in, let me hold you and be with you while you soften and into me.

the space that can hold anything and transmutes everything. And while I remind you that you're safe and there's five great ideas right now for how you could create a client or how you could generate money this week. Maybe you would benefit from dropping into a loving space of presence where you're guided.

by a friend or a peer or a coach or a practitioner, somebody who knows about this, who can point you in the direction of, don't need to know how, we just need to be open to possibilities. And our mind is connected to creative intelligence. We will generate ideas. Our job is to not say no to them.

In the retreat that Barb and I just led last weekend, we did an exercise where everybody shared about a real desire that they want to bring into the world. And they shared with partners what the problem is, where they're kind of stuck in their thinking. And we did an exercise where each person sat with two other people. Person A shared, hey, here's my

desire and I want to do it but here's where it looks hard or here's the problem and person B and C said to each other I wonder if they've considered that they could do it like this or I wonder if they've talked to this person or I wonder if they've tried this way or I wonder if they've

if they know that they can do it, you know, different than they think. And what really occurred to me is I was walking around listening in a bit, eavesdropping on the sessions. I shared with Barb, was like, wow, I'm like blown away right now. Appreciating that any ideas anybody has for what somebody could do to create something they want, even if it's a bad idea, any idea, any.

Is one way forward. And we often when we're scared or contracted or just feeling really tied into scarcity or lack or there's no options or I'm stuck. We, we get stubborn. We're like, it has to be the best idea or the right idea or a guarantee that it's going to work out. And, and really don't appreciate that.

Any idea, any possibility, any way that anybody could do what you're trying to do is one way you could experiment. It's one way you could move forward. It's one thing you could try and then see what happens. And I really appreciate that part of being this kind of free inside to try new things. really takes remembering who you are on this deeper level where

It's okay if it doesn't go exactly how you want. You know, your worth is intact. Your value is intact. Your potential is intact. Like you get to go and have it, have it go sideways. Cause that's just your mind making up that, you know, that idea that it went sideways, but it's, you're allowed to have it not go how you want, knowing in the very next moment, whatever that creates, it's a new starting point. If you need to create $2,000 and you set out.

with an idea for how to do that and it creates $800. It's like, great, $800 closer. Okay, $1,200 more. What's the new idea? And appreciating that the ground we're standing on is full of ideas that will meet you right there in your circumstance. Right where you are, there's ideas for what you can do to create what you want. But it means really dropping out of identity, this whole notion of what's...

what's good, what's bad, what's right.

it is an opportunity to drop out of all the identities I've held about what I will do and won't do or who I am and what it'll mean and just into pure possibility. Like, let me try this and see what happens. Let me try this and see what happens.

All right, I hope this is helpful.