In this podcast Tim Tholen CEO and founder of Thoughtful healthcare will help walk you through the holidays with a loved one who has dementia. A little flexibility and planning will pay off when celebrating together.
Show Notes
When there's a diagnosis of dementia in your family everything changes. There's less predictability there's added confusion and the person with dementia needs more attention. Holiday events can get thrown on their ear. but all is not lost. We have some helpful strategies for you to plan a great holiday. And this might not come as a huge surprise, but flexibility is a key to a successful holiday event.
For many families holiday time includes visitors from out of town, extended family, kids and changes of schedule. And all of this extra stimulation can exacerbate anxiety add confusion and create behavior issues in your loved one. Be flexible with your plans and do some preparation to help reduce the stress and keep things fun for the entire family. Let's talk about expectations and why you need to shift them high expectations around the holiday time can be very dangerous. Things get magically easier when we can accept things the way they are. So set a level of expectation for the family before they arrive. Let them know what's really going on because this will help prevent disappointment. And know that family traditions are going to look different from now on and your preparation for the holiday will change.
There might come a time when the behaviors associated with dementia require your loved one to skip events altogether. So it's better to prevent a problem than force an issue. So keep an eye on your loved one for the weeks leading up to the holiday events. Outburst, extreme anxiety, inappropriate touching, volatility: these are all behaviors that could disrupt your holiday event. People with dementia can have shifts in behavior in the evening; we call this Sunday morning. So consider moving your holiday events to the daytime to prevent anxiety and behaviors. And Thoughtfulcare provide services during the holidays to help caregivers cope when they're feeling overwhelmed. It's okay to have professional help there if it reduces stress. You might consider making some new traditions now. So for example open a few presents with the person with dementia instead of hoping they will stay engaged. When everyone opens presents. And at some point your loved one will not be able to engage in your traditional family events. So you can do something separately like going to religious service or an outing with other family members after seeing your loved one. And if it's important to your family to carry on religious traditions ask clergy members if they can make a holiday house visit rather than expecting your loved one to sit through a long service.
Thoughtful Healthcare offers 24 hour in-home care tailored to your loved one's needs. We've been serving Kansas City and the surrounding areas since 1999. Now back to the podcast.
So it's time to plan for your holiday event and here's that word again planning. The more you do to prepare an event the more smoothly it will go. So make sure the event itself is not too elaborate; keep things very simple and very flexible. Maybe instead of having their traditional sit down meal with the whole family you can opt for a buffet so that everyone can enjoy eating at their own pace. And take turns being the wingman for the loved one with dementia. This will give the caregiver a much needed break. There might be a little training that goes with this, letting other family members know what the needs of the loved one are, but it would be good for others to get a feel for what it's like caregiving even if it's just for the evening. It will help if you know what to say before the event. So have a conversation with every person that will be attending before the actual event to bring them up to speed. This could sound something like, "Hey Cousin Carol I want you to know that Mom's dementia has progressed and she's having trouble recognizing people. So please don't be alarmed. She'll probably need to take some breaks when she gets overstimulated." The more you communicate ahead of time and choreograph the event the less explaining you'll have to do.
Now we all know there's an importance of communication and everyone needs to remember that the person with dementia might exhibit behavior that seems abrupt or unusual and it's nothing personal. It's part of the disease. Let people know that overstimulation can cause behaviors and there might be a need for breaks in the action. Prepare your family. Get everyone on the same page so that no one has inappropriate expectations or feels left out of the loop. And finally, enjoy yourself. The more thoroughly you can plan for the holiday event with a loved one who has dementia, the more smoothly it will go. However, it might not be perfect. So learn to laugh when you're able to, take things lightly. Watch for signs of stress in a person with dementia and provide them with quiet breaks. Treat yourself and your loved one with the dignity you deserve. If you model this high road behavior conflicts can resolve much more quickly. And finally, enjoy those imperfect moments because they make life unique and memorable. Thank you.
For more information about Thoughtful Healthcare and its services. Visit our website at www.thoughtfulhealthcare.com.
What is Alzheimer's and Dementia Care?
Tim Tholen, CEO of Thoughtful Health Care, discusses valuable strategies, tips, and information used every day in the care of Alzheimer and dementia patients at home.
Thoughtful Healthcare is committed to providing your loved ones with the very best in personable, caring and friendly at home care. By providing compassionate and professional caregivers a higher quality of life for loved ones under our watch is achieved through advocacy, integrity, continuous improvement and, above all else, honesty.
Enhancing Lives - Extraordinary Care
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