What does a wife do when she discovers her husband is watching porn? What if he doesn't want to get help in any way? Rosie Makinney, Charity Munoz, and Kristen Hafner share powerful, practical advice for wives on responding to porn use in a healthy and productive way.
This week, Braden's wife Kristen takes the reigns to interview Rosie Makinney and Charity Munoz on what a wife needs to do when she discovers her husband is watching porn.
Seek understanding at all costs
Wives - his porn consumption is not about you. It's so easy to react, freak out, and go to the worst-case scenarios in your head about who he really is, but do research and learn about what porn use does to your husband, your marriage, and to you. You are hurting yourself by not understanding his addiction and continuing to enable his porn use. Value yourself and your marriage by standing up to him with a great understanding about what's going on.
What if hubby doesn't seek help?
Boundaries are the way to go! You need to establish boundaries in your marriage, your life, and in what you talk about. You can't fix him, but you need to take action and get support from those who know what they're talking about. When the boat is sinking and your husband doesn't take action, you'd move to plug the hole. If your husband doesn't want help, boundaries are even more important because your husband needs to experience natural consequences of his behaviour.
How does a wife confront him in a healthy way?
The reason men won't open up to their wives about their porn struggle is because they're scared of a crazy wife flipping out on them. For a wife to do some research beforehand and come to him with a plan is so important. Speak into your husband the kind of man you know he was made to be and affirm to him that although you know there's a hole in your marriage, you want to do everything possible to have a marriage 300 times better than it is today. Ask him to look at all options for support with you and then come up with a plan together.
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Next week, the ladies dive into what the recovery journey looks like on the wives side of things once porn has been exposed in the marriage.
Restored2More - resources for couples with Clinton and Charity Munoz
Fight For Love Ministries - resources for women with Rosie Makinney
Brain Heart World Documentary
Your Pure Freedom Journey through Restored Ministries
Personal 1-on-1 Coaching with one of Restored Ministries' trained coaches
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
What is Pure Victory Podcast?
Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.