The first episode of the show. We introduce ourselves and answer a question about whether an unconventional relationship is okay.
I’m 24 and am 6 months into a relationship with an incredible woman who is 10 years older than me. I’ve been in a few relationships, none of which lasted particularly long besides a relationship that spanned most of high school into college. What feels different in this relationship is the dynamic with the woman I’m with - she very much wears the pants in our relationship and in her life. She’s worked her way up the corporate ladder in a competitive field, is very clear about how she wants to spend her time independently and with me. She even calls the shots in bed. For the most part, I have to admit, I really like it. In fact, it feels like this is what I’ve been missing my whole life. She’s demanding and it motivates me to do better. I also like the clarity in giving someone what they want. I guess this is to say, this feels like it satisfies a deep need in me.
But I also feel embarrassed by it and embarrassed by how much I like it. Sometimes I wonder if I should take charge more, make plans for the two of us, etc. but I can tell she gets annoyed and doesn’t like it when I try. Is this okay? Is this a normal relationship and how do I figure that out? I also notice that my friends are a little weirded out by this relationship. They’re polite, but I can tell something is off. What do I do about this?
Soft in South Brooklyn
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What is Hey, Man - The Advice Podcast for Men?
The weekly advice podcast for men with therapist Avi Klein and novelist Sam Graham-Felsen. Each week, we answer your questions with the help of a rotating cast of guests.