There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,
the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed at a
quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence.
Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created
the audio collapsed in on itself, rendering all of their civilization,
including technology, null and void. Timelines across
the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction
has a nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.
10 years. Man 10.
10 years.
10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years.
10. 10 years. 10 years.
What is the most likely way humanity. Will be wiped out? Maybe it's something.
Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of
you. And if this is the case, you wouldn't have any control over it.
The global temperature rise underscores a chilling reality.
Our planet is trying to tell us. Something, but we don't seem
to be listening. A recent study has suggested that one third of annual
deaths due to heat are directly related to global warming.
On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light,
which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything
on fire in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of
the bulldozing effect of the wind and all the buildings coming down,
and more fires igniting more fires on top of the radiation
if they happen to have survived poisoning people to death. On top of all that,
each one of these fires creates a mega fire that is
a hundred or more square miles.
Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema Psyops.
A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place.
Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed,
giving us the tools to eventually gain control over biology.
Solving the deadliest diseases while also creating viruses
more dangerous than nuclear bombs, able to devastate humanity.
It's man returning to the most primal,
violent state as people fight over the tiny
resources that remain. What if the world we live in.
Is just a dream or a simulation? Whether it's a dream or
some advanced computer game you are playing right now, when it ends,
you would be what causes the end of the world. Please do us all a
favor. Continue dreaming or playing this game of life. Because when
you wake up or unplug, there's a chance the rest of us will be blaked
out of existence. Timelines across the entire continuum
are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on
Cinema syn. 10 years.
10 years. Hello.
And welcome to the 494th consecutive week
of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Court, the guy who's once Again,
stoked to start talking about some Kaiju movies that take place in a non historical
version of feudal Japan with my co host, Matt.
Yes, Justice. Justice by Kaiju.
Yeah. That's kind of the theme for daimajin, particularly in Return of
Daimajin. Because this justice is much more swift. You don't have to wait 10 years
for your suffering to be avenged. No, no, no, no. This justice
comes quickly. This time machine is like, hey, you know
what? Let's do this in 20 minutes less than when we did the last time.
Let's try again and let's cut about 10 minutes or so out of this film.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was their main plan, right? Yeah. Something.
Anyone? You got way more clips than I. But you know
what? Yours was more dialogue heavy than mine. Yeah, you had some soliloquies and
that was about it. Yeah. And yeah, there wasn't a whole lot like
of clippable dialogue. It was a lot of views and stuff like that.
And really for mine not to ruin it for Everybody, the last
20 minutes is pretty much just Kaiju fucking everything.
So that's sort of the pattern of these films because it lasts
a little longer in mine, but we'll get there when we get there. I knew
that the historical aspects of it and having it take place in a
specific period that you're interested in as well, because you just studied that shit
and just got obsessed with it as a kid even. And I knew that
having it take place then and then having giant monsters then
was going to be something that you were going to be just as jazzed about.
It could find many a great thing for me. Like three things. It combines
number one, sword fights. I like sword fights any which way, but you
know, any which way, whether it's like the medieval like England,
samurai swords are probably one of my favorite. Like ninja type
fighting type, you know that that type of sword fight.
It's the most cinematically beautiful and elegantly styled.
That one battle that in fence. Yeah, it's either that, that one, it's. Yeah,
it's Japanese style or the French style.
Like the, like the three Musketeers, like the fencing almost type.
Those two are probably the most beaut styles where the most brutal
style is probably your, you know, your medieval England sword
fighting. But like in yo and it even
goes to lightsabers all but like sword fighting at all seems really
cool. That's why I always enjoyed the Highlander series.
There could be only one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you
go to the. You go to. Then Ancient
times, which is just, you know, historically is fun.
And then you add in a Kaiju and. Yeah, you've got three great
things that I'm gonna really love to watch. So I
don't know exactly if these were all shot back to back,
but they all show is released in 1966, so I would assume that
they were all shot back to back or at least were all shot sort of
concurrently. I almost wonder if they, like, put the guy in the D main suit
and just had him walk through and smash in each of the films. I think
the only difference is, like, the first film, he has a hole in the middle
of his head, and then he has the spike sticking out of it. And then
you don't see that in the second film, you know, that could be it.
Yeah. So I'm wondering if, like, maybe they just swapped out the helmets and then
he would go up, you know, that's possible.
Also, how much would you have liked to have seen instead of the suit
actor, where it was like the mask and it was all green and it looked
more like a person in a suit when it was like
the sort of stonework person suit that was moving around
before he transforms? How much would you have liked to have seen the stonework version
of him smash some shit and then transform? Huh. That might have been cool.
I still like it like this. I mean, I'm happy with what I get.
Don't get me wrong. But what I'm also getting at is, like, the stone version
of him, that suit was really cool, and I would have liked to seen a
little bit more of it. That was pretty cool. Cool. Yeah. I'm just wondering if
it was so limited in its mobility or it was so uncomfortable. It would have
to be. Yeah, yeah. For the time. I think we
got the best we could get for the time. Yeah. I mean, that thing looked
kind of like the thing. Like, it looked like it could have been as uncomfortable
as a thing suit if you tried to make it look like actual rock and
not latex. Like they did with so many of the things in all of the
Marvel movies that they did with Fantastic Four. Exactly.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I'm trying to kill time.
I mean, we have no time here at all. So. Yeah, I will say we
have no time really left to kill. Yeah. So I'm gonna
go ahead and get us into the fucking break. We just can't fuck
around. So we're gonna play the Legion Patreon ad and immediately following that on the.
Pirate radio fucked around on your Episode. It's always what happens whenever I
go first. We gotta have you go first to expend all your energy on your
episode, right? All right, so up first on the pirate
radio edit, immediately following the Legion Patreon ad, we will have from 1966,
as well as this film, the mind benders with the song A Groovy Kind of
Love. Right after this. This'll keep.
Oh, it's bad enough that we had to chop up the fucking girls earlier.
I think he's trying to reach for us. Oh, look, his neck is like,
kind of stretching out like a giraffe. I'm not even intimidated.
Yeah, this is. This is less than scary. I think even the book you have
is showing its disdain. Wait, why did we have to cut up the girls again?
Don't you remember? No. Oh, that's right. I wiped your brain.
Okay, let me show you on this film what happened.
Jesus, man. What? They became possessed. First wipe
my brain. That's why you don't remember.
Remember what? Why I had to kill the girls. Wait, you killed the girls?
Yes, it's right here in the video. God damn it. Ah, you got it,
dude, why would you show me that? Wipe my brain. Jesus Christ.
I can't keep doing this. Even your brain is start getting damaged more. I feel
a lump in my skull. Is that bad? Yes. All right, look, just lock up
the trap door.
She's so weak. He can't even pick it up. We don't even have to chain
it shut. Yeah, I'm doing it anyway.
I don't know why I get up there, though. We got to get back down
there to record. What are we going to do? Hey, you guys got to come
down. Cor, we can do a podcast now. We can do a
podcast together like we always want. Like you always wanted you dead.
Oh, you wanted you too. And trust me, I'd be so much better
at it than bad. It would be great. Shut up.
Dude, did you just swallow that eyeball? No, dude, I'm pretty sure I saw you
swallow that eyeball. No, you're wrong, okay? I may have swallow eyeball.
Dude, what's that line on your shoulder? I don't know, man. I'm feeling really weird.
I think it's cancer. I think this is it. You are such a hypochondria.
One evil dead eye and you think you're getting cancer?
I have sold your cancer. Y. It's. No, come on. Yeah, it's a thing.
Oh, that's an eyeball. Oh, cool. Shut the up.
No, that's awesome. Figure out what to do with this.
All right, everybody. It's me.
I'm a part of man now. Jesus. That's kind of gross, having a Counselor
Dan head growing up. I know. Shoulder. This is really. You didn't mind
Wipe Me by the Way before the end of the night? Look, why don't you
guys just go outside? No, that's okay. I think we should
stay right here and talk to you some more. Don't you, Counselor Dan? I sure
do. Man. Corn. We can do a podcast, all three of us
now. This is just not gonna work. It's time to get the chainsaw out.
This is quite painful, by the way. I just. Wait. Chainsaw.
What's happening? Just don't look to your immediate left. All right, good. I'm gonna
go ahead. I'm gonna take that advice right now and not look to my im.
All right. That seems like an awfully mellow song about
love for a movie about a Kaiju's justice sense
of revenge. I don't know what I was thinking, other than it was really.
This is a romantic movie. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, it's a
love between a Kaiju God and his crying princesses. Yeah,
see? Let's tell them that love story of Return of Daimajin
of 1966. All right. Return of Daimajin
the first 20 starts with a bunch of folk. They're running in the forest,
tried to escape their own home village because its ruler
is a dip. They're caught by some guards, and there's
some killing, and others are taken back. But these two have
hidden and they make a run for it. And they find the islands of the
God. And they're gonna make it. This all leads to two
men talking in our first clip. I see. The lake lies
between the Jagusa and the Nagoshi countries with the island of
their God in the center. Yes, Lord Dancho. The Nagoshi are here and the Chigusa
there. Together they monopolize the lake and grow
fat from its profits, while we, surrounded by
mountains, suffer with poverty. Our people
even use the roads to try to cross over to Chigosa. And it's
impossible for us to catch them all.
Jimba, perhaps you heard of the day when
I hold a memorial service in Jogosa and pray for peace.
Everyone there is supposed to come. Did you know? Yes. They say that the
Goshi kinsmen across the lake will be invited to. That's right.
When that day comes, we must be ready to break them. We will
they had better pray for peace right away, then.
Oh, businessmen. Always making business plans that are going to destroy
the world of everybody around them. It's just because they picked the wrong
place to fucking live. Yeah. It's a timeless thing that will never fucking
end. And it's tragic. Jesus. Yeah.
All right. So then
we cut to this nice ceremony. And you know, it's a lot of
pomp and circumstance that gets filler here.
And after the ceremony is done, we come to our next
clip. We wish to thank the Lady Sayuri for gracing Chigusa's
memorial ceremony. May I also try to express my
gratitude to you, our Nagoshi kinsman.
There is no need. To us, it is a very
great honor. May your dear Lord rest in serene repose.
Joining now to his ancestors. May your new Lord Juror
live in joy until he goes to such content. Lord Heio,
remain in Chigusa a little while. I must go home.
He has things to do in Nagoshi, Sire. For instance,
your wedding to Lady Sayori this fall must be planned.
Jiro. The Mikoshibans are coming to your land. I know. You'll get crowded
soon. If you want the Nagoshi to help out, just command us.
They're all good people. They're not running to avoid work, but to avoid
their Lord Danjo's cruelty. We don't need any.
They haven't been a problem. What's this? Lord Joe.
Go on, tell him, Ito. Lord Jodo
Mikosiba's now barren. You and the old Lord allowed us to come here and claim
land. You two have done much for us all and must be repaid for
it. But the trouble is, we do not possess much to share.
Not much at all. Even so, we managed to round up a bowl of rice.
Each of us have given you one. Each man gave
a bowl of rice? Yes, yes. Won't you accept it, Lord? That's all we
ask. We beg you, noble one. Yes, I'll take it.
And the God bless you. Thank you,
Lord. Judo. We'll take it to the castle. We'll go immediately. Thank you.
Let's go. Thank you. Get my rod.
Thank the God we're not Miko Shiban. I've heard their Lord
has bent the country under his heel. It's true. He did.
Oh, God. Let your ghost prosper and keep safe.
Right. Time machine is turning into justice porn.
Yeah, right. Pretty much. So then,
on their way home, some peeps, just the peeps who were visiting, decide to stop
and pray at God Island. And the God gets An angry face.
And this leads to our next clip. Look at the God. Something's gone wrong.
He's angry. Father. The story many
years ago. Yes, sure. I. Right. This means we're all in great danger now.
Danger? There's been a prophecy that the God turning red means that
Nagoshi will be destroyed soon. Pray to God that it isn't true.
Oh, Father. Oh, Katsushige.
We can't wait. Let's go home and spread the news.
Order a general prayer. Right. All right.
Then we see subdued's. The gifts
that were giving to the kingdom there. Or this other village, I guess
there. All of a sudden we see a knife come out. We say some guys
were hidden in there. Then they open up, and it's pretty
much a slaughterhouse here. Great sword fights going on. But they're.
The village is overwhelmed. However, they are able to get their lord
out. A secret passageway door. They cut it and then
block it. And then we cut back to the God statue. And that is
our next clip. We come here to seek the cause of your anger
and to show you that Nagoshi remembers its great need of
you. God. Do not turn your back now and abandon
our land to the plague that shall destroy us. We are
your children, and we are frightened when our f. Is angry.
Send us a sign that will explain your rage. My Lord.
My Lord. There are many knights across
the lake. They're coming from Chigusa. I think there's trouble.
What is it? What's happening there?
Sir, they are attacking Chigusa. Lord Daniel's soldiers are attacking the
castle. Chigusa's being invaded? Yes. How'd he do it? We don't
know. It was a surprise attack. Many are dead. Not you.
Now I know. This betrayal is why he's so cold and silent.
Men, listen. They're going to attack us. As soon as Shigusa has been taken and
secured. Barricade the castle gates. Get to your families at home.
Yes, Lord. Right away. Kachoshiga. Go to Shagusa. See how things
are there. And if Jura's alive. Ikaku, report.
We can't find him. You must. You fool. You. It's almost
dawn. We can't rest easy until we've got him. What are we going to do?
There's only one place that'll hide him. We'll attack Nagoshi and make them give him
forward.
Where's Juro? No one knows. They say he's disappeared.
Father. Danjo has succeeded. Sugusa has been conquered
completely. Oh, God. Whip. Put up your
Weapons. Stop. Go back.
Danjo. What are you doing here? Let's talk this over together.
Quietly. First, hand over the Jakusa lad. My Lord. Shiro's alive.
Come on. I know he is here. Here? Why should Shiro be here with us?
We haven't been able to find him. He must have come here to his kinsf.
And you've hidden him. Now listen. I'm telling you, give the boy up.
You'll be very foolish not to. If I have to, I'll kill you.
That's enough. Get back.
Sorry, Danjo. Lord Juro is not here. You're lying.
Why must you protect this scum? We're not. Come on.
Search his house. Yes. How dare you. Get out of
my way, old man. Go on. You can't go in if he's
here or not. I won't have your kind defiling my house.
Lord Danjo. I want you to understand your trespassing
in our kingdom. Your soldiers conquer Chagusa, not Nagoshi. We do
not want you in our land. Get out. How's that? You heard.
You will please go from this place. You and your men. You all anger God
by your crime. Our crime has angered who? I'd really
like to meet him. Go on. And you shall see him. He keeps perpetual
watch in Yakumo Lake. He's our main protection. And if you keep up
this madness, he will crush you all one at a time.
You can't mean that. You believe your God will come? He'll come.
And when he does, rest assured. Sure, he'll get you. Oh,
let's hope so. I told you I wanted to meet him. Let's go.
You call him. Go on. Only make it fast. Go on. This should
bring him. Stop it. Get back.
He's still alive. Take him over to the house.
Get back, you dog. Kill him. Kill him.
Put up your swords. Father. No. No. Don't risk any
lives. Get back. Leave them alone. But, Father, these men tried to murder
you. No. Stop. No. Don't you see? You're outnumbered?
There are too many of them for you. You mustn't waste all our people.
Lay down your swords. That's my command. We must fight.
Huisha, stop. You want to die? Katushiga, you mustn't
be thinking now of vengeance. This kingdom is going to need a
new lord. Be a man. Didn't you swear to obey all
orders from me? Think of Nagosia alone when I'm gone.
Do you hear? Yes, Father. Endure these troubles. Because the
Blessed One knows and will soon come to you. He will
Stop their tyranny soon enough. He heard how they
laughed. They will learn. They will learn.
Let go. Be quiet. Don't kill him.
Why is everybody so excited? Go on. Hurry. Take him.
There he is. Oops. Don't let him alone. Danjo, I ask you
to let us go. Give Gerald up until he's returned. I will hold your brother
instead. Then you let him go. I will. Gerald must be exchanged for him.
I want all you people here to remember. We're going to take out Shuzika
and kill him. Unless Gerald's given up. You, girl, you may go. I imagine you
can find Jiro. Get him. Negotians, you've been conquered.
Just like Chigusa. Resistance is feudal. I leave Jamba to be your master.
Take him.
My lady. All right. And that's the end of the first 20 minutes.
Wow, that was intense. They pack a lot
into just that 20 minutes. Yeah, and it
is pretty well just. You have what? What is kind of. There's three
villages. Two share the river,
and in between those two is the God island, which has the
God statue that they both worship. And the third village
is surrounded by the mountains, and they don't really get any access to the la.
They can't get like any good fishing or anything like that.
So they decide. But they have an overwhelming, I think, people force,
so they decide to take that. Yeah, that's resources being
snatched up by the stronger military whenever they have used
up everything that's available to them with a tyrannical lord forcing
them to do it. Yes. That doesn't sound familiar at all. No,
not at all. Anywho,
the first 20 minutes is extremely dour, and it does set
up a very interesting story that replicates similarly coup
that we see in the first film. But in this case, it's a
warring faction kind of thing going on. Yeah, not from the
inside. Yeah, the people are a peaceful valley,
essentially, that would have gladly shared their resources had the mountain folk
even asked for trade instead of. Yeah, well, I mean, they were taking
in the mountain folk who are running away from this evil lord.
So, I mean, Jesus, if the. Yeah, and all three are ran by.
They call them lords. Right. So if even. What if just that lord
from the mountain valley would have been such a greedy prick, it just been like,
good to his people. They probably all would have just been working all three together.
Right. But that never happens because you're always going to have one person that wants
to get more power and be more uncontrollable
with their need to prove to their daddy that they weren't the waste
of life that they were told their entire life. Listen, I'm just surprised.
Out of the three Lords we have, it's just one bad one, right?
Because usually that kind of power corrupts absolutely. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, exactly. We can move on. That's where we're
in accordance. We can move on to the next 20 or however you got.
Excellent. The next 20 minutes, it starts. The daughter,
she goes to the God statue. And this leads to
our next clip. All of us watched
it. And now Brother is in their power. A prisoner.
He'll be kept there until Lord Juror of Chigusa
is given to Danjo. Don't abandon us.
Our countries must be free again. Help negotiate,
Chigusa. Both of them need you. I don't care what happens, happens to me.
Oh God. Help the others. Let me die instead.
Lady Sayori.
All right. Now the bad guys show up and they start.
The people hide and they start
chipping away at the statue. Then the.
You know, the. The. They. They can't stand. They're seeing their God being
tipped away at. They try to get out and they. All the bad guys hold
them back. And then they blow up the statue with dynamite.
There's a couple of moments where people try to run back and stop it.
And then the princess, the lady, tries. To run back and stop it.
And the servant follows her. Her servant follows her. After it
blows up, they all think. The bad guys think the lady and the servant are
dead. Under the rumble, you see the. All the rock fly
out and all the people are noticing that their God has been blown up.
So they're all very worried about that. Now then,
as the bad guys are getting ready to leave, the starts turning red and starts
bubbling for a moment. Then it goes away. And the bad guys are all just
like. Ah, it was just lightning. And they leave. Well, the lady and the dude
are just fine. The princess and her servant are just fine. Servant?
Yes. And that leads to our next clip.
Lady Sayori. Hurry. My Lady. Are you
hurt? Not a bit. I don't feel any pain either. Do you?
No, my Lady. It must be a miracle. Can't you see her?
Did you listen to that noise? Just now some of my men went out and
blew up your precious God. No. Why not?
It was only stone. You don't understand what he can do. He's more
than just stone. You murdered father, set up a tyranny,
conquered our people and banished my sister. Now you blow up our
God. But perhaps someday I will watch you die.
Poor fool. How much do you think your God's worth? Now listen,
my lady. You must go from here soon. I don't want to admit
it, but the God has failed. I shall not leave this place.
There's nothing here. Our God's image is gone, but his spirit
cannot be destroyed. He saved us from the falling rocks. You said it was
a miracle, Todohei. And it means he wants us to stay alive and
believe in him. Juro is missing and could be dead. The keeping Kachusiga
locked up. There seems to be no one else we can turn to except guard.
I'll get the boat. Now. You must understand, I've got
to remain here. Look. Two men. It's judo.
What?
His heart's beating. I think you'll be all right. Wake up.
Wake up. No, you're not dead.
Ladies, let me help you. The Lord. Joe.
Judo. Speak to me.
Sayuri. No. Juror. You're hurt.
Hayato. My lord.
What brought the boat here? The God has to be around
here somewhere. Did you search the place thoroughly? Guess.
The whole grounds. We checked every house went through the woods.
Nobody found a thing. Maybe he escaped to another country.
Hardly likely. We've closed up all the roads and the mountains are impassable.
But he might try to get away across. Wait. That must be it.
That's the only place for him now. Ichaku. Take some men to the God's island.
Set watch over it night and day. Come on. Lord Jiro.
Please. Please remain here a while longer. Your wound has
not yet healed. No, I'm all right. Mikoshiba has got to be defeated
and pay for this vicious crime. Yes, but you're going to need more men.
I would try it by myself. Oh, no. Hayato will be there. Together,
he and I shall get no danger. What? We'll arrange an
exchange. Your brother for their lord. Just a minute.
Just promise me he'll try to be careful. Don't worry. I'll be returning by
dawn and I won't get hurt. I need you to pray for help.
We'll be all right as long as you do. Yes.
Turn left. Keep to the cliff. Oh,
that's your affairs. Quick, quick.
All right. So the bad guys, they see them. They see
the. The.
They see the prince or the Lord. The Lord of the other side
leaving with his dude. And they decide to follow him.
Uh, they're, uh. The Lord's boat gets.
Rowboat gets stuck. And as they try to get it off a rock,
the bad guys are closing. But all of a sudden all the water starts bubbling
and it turns their Their boat around and starts bubbling
more, and then it sinks them. And that's the end of that 20 minutes
before we. That little section where they get pulled underneath
with the water bubbling. It actually looks like it was just basically the hand,
like, the water coming up and bubbling. It was like the hand grabbing them.
It twists the boat around, and then, like, the boat just kind of buckles as
it's being pulled under too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a really cool
effect. I really like the way they did that. And all the actors, like,
basically get pulled under as well. Like, nobody. They jump off
the boat and then they're gone. Yeah. Like, everything gets pulled
under all at once. Like. Like the way they were all screaming.
I wanted to make believe, like, all that water bub was also boiling.
Yeah. Like maybe it was like cooking them.
Yeah. You just want anything in your justice porn to make you feel better about
the horror you're seeing. Yeah, exactly. I just want them all to
suffer. Let's move on to the next 20. All right, so the next
20 starts with the guy enjoying. We see it's the evil lord enjoying
some women dancing. Juro gets there, and he gets
into the town, infiltrates it, and he takes the guy hostage.
These men surround him, but they do a running thing from his men.
While he has him, the town peeps here. Juro is back. They're very
excited. They want to help him.
The. The bad guy gets away from Juro, and we have
a big fight. And Juror and his bro decide that they need to escape
through a secret hatch because of all the. You know, the town people
are getting slaughtered. So they leave, and the bad guy
dresses his troops. And that is our next clip. What?
Anyone see him? No, sir. But we found a secret passage from the well
to the stream and two tracks by the shore. Jiro. That means
now he'll make for Nagoshi. Tell Jumba I want Katsu Shiki dead.
Tell him to kill him. Yes, Lord. And if that doesn't work,
tell him to threaten to kill the girl like her brother to save
her. Tell the Nagoshi people to give Jiro a gun.
Lady Sayori. What is it? Today,
my lady, Juro failed to capture Dunjo at Jakuza. And now Jumbo
is going to kill your brother. The morning. Oh, it's almost dawn now.
I heard jumpers had the guards doubled. It's impossible to get inside now.
Any escape plan that fails could make things worse. It'll all depend on
Juro. Do you think he'll get back here? Oh, God. Help us.
Pay attention. It's not too late to save your lord.
You will say if he lives or dies by handing
over the traitor Juro. Well,
come down to us. You see, no one came.
Tell me you feel love for them now, My lord, you know who's really
to blame. I bear no hate, Jember.
It's true. I shall die. Yet my soul shall hold a place
for you. Jura shall return. Be assured of that.
Go on, kill.
You dog.
Get that brat. You stop
him. Don't let him go.
Look. What's that? Come here.
It's Ichikako.
Look, the stone image. It's the goose.
This for destroying the God, right? Stupid fools.
The man was sent to the island. I wanted
to be positive Judo was there.
It's my lord Chiragusa who killed him. Hurry. Come on.
All right. So as the boy
comes around and saves the brother of the princess,
so the prince, the other, now the current ruler of the other town.
The bad guys, they get to God island and the lady and the
servant hide, and this fog start to get really thick.
Joro is also heading back to God island. And the lady sees him and
rings the bell to warn Joro. The guards come and they see
this. They kill the servant man and then destroy
the bell. Joro and his buddy decide to leave.
And then all of a sudden, they cross boats with the brother and they meet
up and. But before you can have any good feel good moments
are captured. And that's the end of that 20 minutes before we go into the
final 20. So she's ringing the bell to warn them to turn around
because there was going to be a meeting on this island, but they knew of
the meeting or preemptively were there to go ahead and basically kill all of
the leaders and then just take over everything. The sister was going
to sacrifice herself to warn her brother against the better
wishes of her servant. Well, she didn't even know her brother was still alive.
She was Rorty Juror. Yeah, she saw Juro coming back, Right. She was trying
to warn the people that were on the way there, including her brother. Yeah,
right, right, yeah. She. She doesn't know that her brother's alive. But I love that
her servant still pretty much throws himself in front of the people trying
to kill her to protect her and save her. And it's temporary
because they just end up capturing her anyway. And it just feels
really dark and dour because everybody's captured and you know,
this evil lord who has a bone to pick is just going to try and
make a Big display of them. Probably with a crucifix,
because that seems to be the thing in die machine movies.
Exactly. Let's move on and let's wrap her up.
All right, the final 20. The men are all tied up on posts.
And this leads to our next clip.
There's no one to protect us anymore. We might as well be
dead. Isn't there some way to save them? Is there no God after
all?
Would you kill a child before his mother? You must
have some human feelings left in you. Let the boy go home.
It's useless to ask for that. The boy defied us.
So I'm going to kill him. You're insane.
Can't you see that? You're a dead man. The God will come here for you.
Donjo. Let the boy go.
A piece of stone smashed through rocks and dust.
He was supposed to last for ever. Now doesn't that prove who's stronger?
But why should we waste talk over him? Get her.
Yes, Lord. Bring her out.
Sayuri Kuro. I prayed.
Move. Sayuri Kuro.
I'll show you something interesting before you die. Grandma.
Burn her at the stake. Yes, Lord. Take her.
Stop it. You mustn't do it. Use your sword on
me. Take my eyes out. Don't burn her. Quiet. Continue.
Bonjour. I'm begging you. Let her down.
Light the fire. Stop it. Let her go. Let her
go. Sayuri.
No. No. Sayori. Let her go.
Hear me. Oh God, I pray to you for I
know only you can help us now. Let me die here.
But don't desert my country in its need.
And the others, Juro and Kat must be saved.
Oh God. Oh God. Don't turn away. I beg you
to hear this prayer. Okay. Jesus,
what a fucking sequence, man. Everybody's not only like tied to poles
or crucified. They're going to burn the lady at the stake. Dude.
Yeah, that just at the stake on a crucifix. Yeah, they crucified
her and they're going to burn her at the crucifix. Which is really fucked up.
Yeah, it's even worse. Someone should tell them that burning crosses is a bad look,
let alone ladies. Yeah, yeah, I think that was before then though.
So anyway. But then after
she prays and her tears come down, the tears apart. Morton again. The God
shows up and he comes out of the water and he
takes off and he picks up the. The crucifix and then lays the
lady down again. This is a pretty good effect. Much like yours was. Oh,
actually I think this one was way better. Done they spent more money on it
and more time on it. He more gently handles the crucifix when he sets her
down. They spend a lot of different shots on it. This is the better done
sequence of him pulling up a crucifix. And then the main bad
guy ruler threatens the other ruler with a sword to make the.
The God back off. Go. Starts purple lightning.
So it makes all the bad guys run. And then he up rumbling
through walls, buildings. They try to wire
more explosives to blow him up in the minute they think they do,
he comes out of the smoke as a maniac so
hard. Dude, that was awesome. I know. It was so great. And then he throws
a boulder, crushes the bad guy general, who's a
real dick, really. Just murders everyone,
all the bad guys. The main bad ruler gets out boat. He's trying to
get away. And the God uses his power.
And the water goes and he pretty much uses. He gets crucified
by rope to his own boat as it sets on fire, burning him
alive. The princess, she once again
prays as the k. As the God disappears with
her tears. Which leads to our final clip.
He remains there beneath the sea to protect the people in.
To help the lords to rule beneath the lake.
Perhaps we're still angering the God. You're right. Yes.
He must be returning. You're both wrong.
He's trying to tell us there's peace here on earth. Aw, we wish.
And roll credits. Cinema PsyOps 10.
10 years. 10 years. Yeah, dude.
We didn't talk about it a lot because we're running very low on time and
we got to get you the fuck out of here. And we're just really kind
of hurrying through this and not giving it to justice. A lot of the effects
in this are significantly a buildup. Like they spent a good amount of
money. The explosions for the statue and the amount
of time that they spend, like arranging all of the various bits
of dynamite and like just the way that it looks. The actual sets
that they built for this as well all look terrific. The explosions are incredible.
And that sequence where they blow up, like literally everything else around where
that. Where diamond is standing and there's nothing but smoke. And they all
actually say, oh, he's gone. We did it. We did it. They're all happy.
And then the smoke clears just enough and you see the outline of his
shoulder. I pop so hard. And then when he steps out of the smoke
and they're all terrified. I was like, yes. And they're all like, oh.
And like, yeah, you fucked up. Now, didn't you? Yeah. All you did was just
piss it off. And then there is a sequence where they try to use ropes
before that or no. Is it after that that they use the grappling ropes?
No, no, no. It was before that they use ropes and he just kind of
jugged through them. The dynamite was the last bastion
of trying. Yeah. And when that did not work,
that's when the panic set in. Yeah. Though the rope and hook
thing was relatively similar. Only the difference now was he
didn't throw the chains around, he just dragged everything. In the movie,
in the grappling hooks on rope sequence,
he actually pulls off some of the grappling hooks and then throws them into the
buildings and pulls the buildings down with them. And like, he really some shit
up in this sequence. And it's very cool. They really pissed him off.
Yeah. I mean, this is. Yeah. The stomping sequence in this film.
I actually. While it's shorter, they actually go harder at.
And I actually enjoy more. And you get more actual action of Diamond Machine
purposely doing things to destroy buildings to punish people.
It's awesome. It's fucking amazing.
Yeah. And I hate that we had to run through it so fast, but we
kind of had to because you're running out of time. So we
did your movie justice. Sounds good. Well. And I'm gonna pull some of the stuff
you had to say about your movie out of that episode and put it in
this one. We'll see how that works out. So there we
go. Anytime that I go first, you can't control yourself. You're just a wild man.
And that episode ends up being so long, right? Usually, yeah.
That's how it works. All right. You think we can kind of squeeze in a
story time? Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to talk about, but sure.
We skipped one on my week so I can do one for you. That's no
problem. Just to be able to pad out this episode a little bit. And then
if we got to cut shit short, we'll cut it short to let you go.
All right, sounds good. Story time. Right now we're going to take a break.
And on the pirate radio edit for this week's episode, we're going
to have the Beach Boys with the song Barbara. And also released the same year
as this film in 1966.
What's happening? Just don't look to your immediate left. All right, good.
I'm gonna go ahead. I'm gonna take that advice right now and not look to
my immediate left. I see a Lot of movement. Yeah.
Okay. Sounds like somebody's muffled
really close to me. Go ahead and look to your left. Ah. Why is there
dead handed? It's got duct tape over its mouth. Because it's growing
out of you. It's almost done. It's got an arm and a leg.
Ow. Okay. Oh, hey. I'm fine now, but we have a whole nother dan
and he's up here. And he's wearing the exact same outfit you were wearing.
How does that work? I don't know. Okay. I may have to rethink this
whole supernatural thing. This is getting really weird, even for me. There's a lot of
plot holes in this that I've not been able to fill. Yeah, I don't understand
any of this. No, you should probably burn that book. You know what I do
understand, though? What's that? This chainsaw. Oh.
Get ready, counselor. Dad. Oh,
no. You got yourself a chainsaw. You got to
use it. You. Oh, no.
All right. All right.
This one's done. Oh,
Jesus Christ. Will you just shoot that head with a shotgun, man?
Yeah.
Swallow that.
Oh, man, I do hate to interrupt that Almost Ready to
end Anyway song Barbara and by the Beach Boys, but we gotta get to.
Oh, and I really, really love to interrupt you singing anytime I
can, cuz it's like children crying.
I almost don't want to play this for you, but I'm going to take over
this week's story time.
Story time.
Story time. Okay. This is
the epic tale of how I. I finally, finally outdid
the guy that always stumps everybody with the
shit he has to say and likes to take the thing that you said and
twist it into something funny or wicked or a little
sinful. All right, so this is that tale. I got the
vengeance finally and shut this person down for the first time this week.
Ooh. All right. Yeah. So everybody knows I got a new
car. Well, there was an old car that basically died. It was
like a 2004 car that was going for,
like, ever. It was my wife's car first, and then I took it over and
kept it going until finally enough work needed
to be done on it that it cost more than the car was finally worth
because it became a salvage title. So when I found that out,
I basically asked if I could just leave it at the place that
it was being worked on, which, of course, it's a shop where
I'm going into, and it's a guy that runs the shop or does the front
desk at the shop is what I'm talking about. That always fucks with people like
this, right? Yeah. Yeah. So one of the mechanics wanted to actually end up buying
the car off of me because it's actually a solid built vehicle. It's just.
It's old and it just needs to be rebuilt, and it costs too much
to pay somebody else to do that, more than the car's worth. So we end
up arranging to be able to sell it. It's been a really long time.
We took a. We couldn't find the title. A bunch of shit ended up happening.
We lost communication with them. Finally got it wrapped up this week. Get into
the place to make the deal, and I walk in with a couple of bags
and talk to this guy at the front desk that's always fucking with me and
everybody else because it's just. Just getting fun ribbing with people to get himself entertained.
And I say, you know, I'm here to sell the car and all that.
And they're going to get ahold of the mechanic. He's working on something and he's
finishing it up. So I said, okay, well, I'm going to go clean out my
shit and then clean my. My wife's shit out of the car, or clean my
wife's shit. I think I said, out of the car is how I phrased it.
And then he looked at me and he goes, you clean your wife's shit.
And I knew he was trying to set me up with something to be like,
I'm going to try and backpedal out of this. You know what I mean?
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast. Right? Right. And without dropping
a beat, immediately after he says that, before even
finish the sentence, I come back with, don't you fucking kink shame me.
Yeah. His face goes from
like, that. That gleeful, like, little smile thing to
like, yeah. Oh, no. Did I just piss this guy off trying to fuck with
him, you know, to. Oh, no, he just got me back.
Oh, that was a good one. All within a matter of just a couple of
seconds. And he goes, no, sir, I would never do that. Like, immediately snaps into
joking as well. Right back with me. But, like,
the other guys in the shop are, like, looking around. They're like, holy fuck,
he got one over on.
Nice. It's literally like this guy is so quick.
Like, he's always looking for something to get in there and pull a little joke
with you because it just makes his day funner. It makes life easier for him,
and he's really good at it, and it is really entertaining. And I
finally shot that motherfucker down for once. Yeah. Good job. Fuck it.
A win. Yeah. Which is the simple phrase,
don't you fucking kink shame me. Yeah, yeah.
Don't kink shame me. Yeah. Well, anyway, then I cleaned out the car. We got
it all taken care of, signed over and sold. And. And now that
car is going to live on and make the life of two different people that
work at that place better because they both needed a car that would guzzle less
gas or they didn't have a car at that case. So they're going to basically
be sharing it back and forth to take it to work on different days that
they work. There you go. How cool is that, right? That is cool.
Yeah. And the only reason that we really took any money for it was because,
like, we were going to donate it to, like, one of those charities or the
Kids for Cars or Cars for Kids things where they pick a charity specific,
specifically four kids, and then they scrap. You know why you took money for it?
You took. Because you're a capitalist pig dog. No,
because those guys could have used it. And they offered me the
cash because they wanted it that bad. So I told my wife about it
and that's. She took the offer. So, I mean, it's her cash. Basically, I brokered
the deal and I'm getting none of the money and I did all the work.
Yeah, well, I mean, that's marriage.
Ain't that the fucking truth? With that note and us hoping that our
wives did not hear hear us say that. No sh. We're gonna
play the show Housekeeping. And immediately following that, on the pirate radio edit,
we will have the Rascals with song Good Loving right after this.
If you've decided you can't get enough of the show. Okay, Matt, I took care
of this one. You get to chop up a counselor Dan in the basement.
Oh, that one's way grosser. I had a Dan grow
out of me. I'm done for the night. You had a Dan inside
you. I know. That is really good. Be something I have to come to terms
with with a lot of therapy. Not a Sandy Shores other Dan.
Oh, I'm pretty sure that Shamir is going to owe us a buttload
of money. Oh, my God. Hey, did someone say a buttload up there?
Oh, for sake, Matt. Will you please just kill him?
Oh, man, that dude's everywhere. Okay, I'll clean this up in the
basement. You go ahead and start digging the hole. This camping trip's turned
out to be a lot of work. Yeah, but you're in, like A hell of
of a great shape right now. I know, right? I lost half a person.
Well, can't burn the book. This fucking thing will not
burn. That seems really weird. Hey, real quick.
Yeah. I saw a couple hikers out in the forest while
I was digging the holes. Yeah? The trees may
or may not have violated them both. Oh, you don't remember,
right? No. The girls we were with. Yeah, One of them ran
out into the woods. That's okay. You want to see the footage of that?
If it's anything like I just saw out there, I'm not too sure, but hey,
why not? Here it is. Oh, God. Jesus.
It's like watching a snuff film that they know what that's like or anything.
Not that you remember anyway, right? Oh, God.
Yeah, that's what happened to the hikers out there. I don't suggest we go outside
anymore. It's like you're not even gonna remember this whole trip.
Hey, I found this trail out back. I think we're gonna be able to hike
out of here. Really? Even through the fucking trees? Well, the trees of
rape. Well, it's daytime, right? Yeah, it's true. They're weaker during the day.
So if we just take it through the trail. We'll leave the equipment here.
Yeah, we'll just take all the essentials, you know. What are the essentials?
Well, this book, that dagger. Okay. The recording tapes
and this bottle of booze. I think we're good. Yes. All right, we're gonna head
on out. All right? We're gonna find our way back to the lab or at
least to find a car. And then we'll get back to civilization. We can close
out the show in the actual studio. I'm sending Matpot back out
here to burn this place to the ground. No, we're not going to burn it.
This is going to be a great vacation spot. Yeah, I'm still sending Matpot out
here to burn this place to the fucking ground.
There we go. Now you're not. Not what? Not going to mind
carrying all this stuff because you needed the exercise, you said. Yeah,
I suppose. Fucking idiot all of a sudden was a
bad idea. How do you. Two years, you never listen to me. There's a
good reason for that. Yeah, but look at all the we're in now. I'll take
care of it. I always do. All right.
All right. I hate to interrupt the Rascals, but I'd really
love to keep Matt from being able to sing them at the same time.
I picked for this week for Matt a little Bit more of the kind of
stuff that you would probably hear to frat. Oh, yeah, yeah,
true. Especially in the time frame of the 60s when these songs were released,
you probably would have heard these being blared out in the drinking party to frat,
for sure. Oh, of course. Yeah. This is what
you would expect, like. The music in Animal House,
100%. And to keep with that theme of 1966 Frat
House Rock, I'm gonna play the Trogs with Wild Thing on the pirate radio edit.
So while you're enjoying that, kick the out of this week and make it
your. The Osmonds.
I think that's next. That's definitely something we have planned. We're gonna do. That's totally
something that we're definitely going. To war with the Osmonds. I don't know why you
think. Yeah, we're definitely doing that. Yeah, we would totally do that. That's definitely something.
We're going. We're not. Not that we're. We're going to do it. That's something
that we would do. We're going to do it. That's definitely. Probably a real thing.
That probably is going to happen. Everything that is wholesome and good must be destroyed
under the weight of our filth. Yes. Yeah, but. And also seriousness,
though, you gotta understand, when you become part of a podcast
network, it's like going to jail in that you have to find
the heaviest hitter in the network, take your tray.
And blast him over the face just. To show all the other
podcasts that you mean business. You're not gonna shiv us in the shower.
Absolutely. And second of all, we didn't
really mean to start the war. We were just kind of venting at them for.
For being the golden boys, and we wanted to yell about it. Goody two shoes.
Goody little two shoes.
But you know what? We may work that out here soon because we're kind of
tired with the war as well. I mean, we're recording in the fruit cellar
of Shamir's cabin right now. I know. I mean,
good, bad, we're the guys who say.
Exactly. And that's why you got to keep coming back. That's right.
That and Cinema Psyops will bottom for Bruce Campbell. That.
Yes, that. That should be our new tagline. Next year it
totally could be Cinema Psyops.
Well, bottom for Bruce Campbell.
94. Jesus Christ.
And let me start this recording in.
Progress, by the way. I really. To hack up lungs and everything.
I am just trying to get over a cold now. That's lambasted
me for about a week now, and the last two days have been the worst,
so I'm just trying to get well. So. All right. If I start
hacking up a lung, I apologize. No problem. No problem. Just like
that. I'll leave this stuff in there as outtakes, too. People can listen to you
wheeze and hack. Yeah. They can listen to me die. Yeah. It'll sound exactly like
it did when you used to smoke. Oh, God,
I don't. You know what? What, though? I haven't smoked since we started the show.
No, since before you joined the show. Yeah. Except for, like. Yeah, it was before
the show ever started that. When I was smoker. Yeah, weird, too.
Except for that one bachelor party thing or birthday party thing that we were.
We don't talk about that. And I got a photo of it and blackmailed you
for a while. Yeah, that's true.
Although. Although, by now, like, I had to come clean with
that. Well, after that, I had broke down, was driving
drunk when I had a cigarette, like, one. And it
was, like, right in front of her. She, like, just. She just saw me doing
it. That was like. Sorry. She was mad. She was real mad. She was like,
your son. I go, I know. I'm not doing, like, anything about it.
And I. And I never have. It's like, I've never bought a pack of cigarettes.
Never. Like, I was like, no, I'm all right. My joke was I was
going to send it to your insurance company because I knew you were getting a
discount on not smoking anymore. That's also true. Yeah. You could have
done that. I wouldn't have sent it to your wife. I don't want you dead.
I just want you financially inconvenienced. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah.
All right, let's ship Brick. All right. There we go. And I
think we're ready to go for your episode
as well. 494. So here we go.
Three, two, one.
I died. This will keep. Three, two, one. You know this song?
Yeah. Okay. All right. Three, two,
one. Our next clip. Second clip. I'm saying the number for
me because I'm very great, getting lazy in my editing, and I don't want to
have to go looking to figure out the number and track.
That's your longest clip. I'm gonna jump around. Soldiers conquer Chagusa.
Oh, yeah. This is basically all the slaughter. Yeah.
Well, the next. Yeah. The next village, then. Yeah. Yeah. Into the
next village, too. I ask you to
let us go. You, girl, you may go. I imagine you can find Jo.
Yeah. And then they want to find the leader.
My lady. All right, go ahead. Three villages.
Holy cow. Sorry about that. Hold on one sec. Something just started going off on
my. Everything here. Just give me one second
here. All right. Again, sorry about that. No problem.
But, yeah, you have three villages. I'm gonna
save us some time and jump around on this one, too. Yeah.
It's only three minutes in total, but still.
Well, we cut to dude enjoying
some ladies dancing, and we see that it is the lord from
the mountains. Joro gets to that location where
they are, and he gets the guy hostage while he's being surrounded
and they're running from his. The town. Peeps hear that Juro
has returned. So now. Oh, all right.
Three, two, one. Back to where you started with your notes, because it was immediately
after your first sentence. It cut you off where you were. Okay. Oh,
after he dressed the troops. Yeah. All right, so. All right.
Okay. So we just got done with him,
or did he get to addressing the troops or. I'm on clip number seven,
and it was between six and seven, and I jumped around on that long clip,
and then we had that shorter clip. Did we talk about how he was running
from his dudes and everything? Hang on a second.
What? Anyone see him? No, sir, but we found a secret passage from
the well to the stream and two tracks. Yeah, this is before they go
to find them again, I think it was. I. I don't.
I honestly don't know where we were, but it was like, after your sixth clip,
if that helps. Let me just make sure. Oh, God,
no. All right, so hold on to after the 6.6th clip.
So the 6th clip was the late the princess and her servant talking,
right? I believe so. Yeah. And then it was. All right, so then you lost
rumor after that? Yeah, pretty much. No, no, then we had talked about. All right,
so we went to the next 20. Yeah. So. Okay. Yeah, it was the start
of the next 20 then, I'm guessing. All right, so this
is Right. Yeah, that's where we were. I'm gonna jump through this quick,
too. All right. You know that song? You shouldn't have to hear it to be
able to talk about it. Move. All right. You should know that one too,
right? Oh, yeah, of course.
I believe the hip bone was connected to the thigh bone. What's the thigh bone
connected to? The leg bone. And the leg bone's connected to the ankle bone.
Are the ankle bones connected to the. Them bones, them bones, them bones,
them bones, them dry bones.
Bone your heel. Bone connected to you ankle
bone, your. Ankle bone connected to you Leg bone.
Your leg bone connected to you Knee bone,
your knee bone connected to you Thigh bone, your thigh
bone connected to you Hip bone, your hip bone
connected to you Backbone, your backbone
connected to. You.
I'm Sarah McLaughlin and this is an Amber Bach
alert. Matt Siop has been missing since last Sunday.
He was last seen drinking on the Las Vegas strip after Aaron
Rodgers horrific broken collar collarbone in Sunday's football game.
Matt downed his entire drink, smashed the glass over his
head and ran screaming from the bar. He hasn't been
seen since. Please look for Matt. If you see
Matt, send him home. Don't bring up the Green Bay packers and
for God's sakes keep him from breathing over open flames.
I'm gonna play the Trogs with Wild Thing on the pirate radio edit so while
you're enjoying that kick the fuck out of the this week and make it your
the only shocking thing is that's the original version. I mean you know the song
you need my heart oh I need you to stop
singing ever again. You may you
I just think a major league wild thing you
walk everything. I need to stop you
so I'm going to stop this recording stopped.