[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm J- FJ.
FJ!
J- FJ.
[laughs] I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches, and, uh, well, I can't tell what I'm more disappointed in, Victor. You know, on this, uh, Fallout website... I forgot exactly what the proper link was, but it's... Is it Fallout Locator? [clears throat] It might be Fallout Locator. I started choking for no reason 'cause I'm so disappointed in this. [laughing]
[laughing]
Um, so there's a whole countdown clock, and apparently, once it hit zero, everyone thought, actually, once it hit- once it would hit zero, that Fallout 3 Remastered would be released.
Oh.
Turns out that's not the case. They just unveiled this bunch of stupid behind-the-scenes videos of the show. [laughing]
[laughing]
So everybody was furious about that, and I was thinking, I'm like, "You know, they're not gonna release that all of a sudden, like, there's just some countdown timer." I think i-i- there, there has to be some sort of bigger marketing plan for that, rather than just some silly timer.
Yeah, w- I mean, are there rumors going around about that game-
Yeah
... coming out?
I've seen these, like, other articles, too, popping up of like, "Oh, they're still in production of it. They're still... " What's it called? Tinkering with it, making sure it's all good. I, uh, I'll believe it when I see it.
Well, I know that there are similar rumors going around about a, uh, Red Dead 2, um, like, next-gen version.
Okay.
You know?
Good.
Ooh.
Which would be awesome.
Yeah.
You know, just what I need, another excuse to buy Red Dead 2 again. [laughing]
But you're not gonna play it, that's the thing. You're gonna say, "I'm too busy. I got a reptile. I got this random kid in my house. I got Becca in there."
I've gotta clean the house.
I got a dog now.
Pretty much. That's all I do is, uh, go, go, go. Not a lot of Red Dead time-
Well-
... in my life anymore
... there, there was that disappointment.
Mm-hmm.
And then there was the whole, uh, Kid Rock Rock the Country festival.
Oh, are you, you're disappointed that Shinedown dropped out?
No, Ludacris first dropped out.
Mm-hmm.
Made me very sad 'cause I was planning on going to the show, you know?
I know, it's, it's your kind of show.
Yeah, yeah.
For sure.
Wear, wear my giant red hat.
Mm-hmm. [laughing]
Um, uh, Ludacris was gonna... Ludacris dropped out. Shinedown dropped out, and you know who now just dropped out?
Who just dropped out now?
Creed.
Creed dropped out, too?
What!
Creed dropped out. It's funny 'cause Shinedown's drummer was like, "Ludacris is a coward."
[laughing]
"We're, we're gonna play this show no matter what."
And then they drop out. [laughing]
Sure enough, Shinedown... Yeah. And so now, instead of the originally advertised eight shows, it now lists seven.
Oh, a whole show got canceled.
Oh, wow!
Mm-hmm.
So this is gonna be an epic, too, or-
I think this whole thing is gonna be an epic failure. There's gonna be a lot of rednecks very mad about that.
Huh. Yeah, and a, a couple country artists dropped off it as well. I forget their names. So, um, yeah, it'll be interesting to see how many people actually remain by the time these shows happen, if they happen at all.
Kid Rock-
Yeah, maybe they'll just cancel the whole thing.
Yeah.
Kid Rock looks exactly like Dr. Phil just wearing a disguise.
[laughing]
I'm not even kidding.
Well, and he, he's a little thinner.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
You know, he's kinda like-
A lot less money.
He's like the-
More hair
... like if Jade was Dr. Phil, you know? Very skeletal-looking Kid Rock.
Would you rather be Dr. Phil or Kid Rock?
Ooh.
Would I rather be?
Yeah, you could switch.
Oh, man.
If you could be one of them for a day, who-
Kid Rock sounds like it'd be more fun.
Yeah, I bet you'd have a lot more fun as Kid Rock.
I don't know, I feel like [laughing] being Dr. Phil would be kinda nice, to run that show. You get paid tons of money just for doing his show. Does anybody actually legitimately watch his, his program anymore?
I don't know, is his show still on?
Old people. Old people love Dr. Phil.
'Cause I know Maury's no longer on the air. Jerry Springer's dead.
Yeah.
So, uh, Dr. Phil's the only option left.
Huh, and I have not, uh, attempted to watch Dr. Phil, so I have no idea.
My friend Jose, uh, I think he still works, like, a temporary job for his company.
Oh, really?
But, um, uh, when he was doing the full-time thing back a couple years ago, he was talking about how, like, th- they were just looking for the next Catch Me Outside girl, or Cash Me Outside girl.
Mm, yeah. You need that.
'Cause that was a whole viral moment-
Mm
... for that show specifically.
Yeah, I mean, prior to that, didn't hear a lot about Dr. Phil, 'cause all those shows, who cares?
I mean, the TV itself, I feel like, is kinda dying, with Stephen Colbert's show ending, Kelly Clarkson's show ending. Ellen, you know, she's off doing her own thing now.
Kelly Clarkson had a show?
Yeah, see?
Oh, yeah. [laughing]
It, it, it was kind of like the, the replacement for Ellen.
Mm.
But it-
Okay
... it's, it's generic talk. That's all that it is.
Mm.
"Hey, what are you promoting?" "Oh, like, I'm, I have this movie coming up."
Mm.
"Insert mom and dad joke here."
Boring.
Right.
Boring.
Sing some duets with her guests.
Yeah.
Ugh, sounds terrible. Yeah, uh, I mean, with how many great shows are out on streaming, it, it's amazing that, uh, these regular broadcast networks, you know, with garbage like Kelly Clarkson show, have anybody watching.
Or The Jennifer Hudson Show.
I've never heard of that either.
Well, that's the one show where they make the celebrities walk through the spirit tunnel, and it's literally, like, all the underpaid staff members from, like, backstage, the backstage area doing all the work for Jennifer Hudson.
Wow!
It's all of them clapping to, like, a beat and making some song up, and then the, the celebrity guest has to come out dancing. And-
Okay
... there's a whole video. The, all those videos get posted online, and I'm just thinking, like, if you're not a dancer, could you just skip that part? Like, they had poor Simon Cowell come out dancing.
[laughing]
And that guy has been-
Sounds terrible
... that guy had a major accident, I forgot how long ago, but he can barely move. He had to get a whole bunch of medical procedures done, and he comes out, and he looks all sad and everything, and all the comments are making fun of him, but they don't know that he went through all that trouble.
Yeah, I didn't know he went through that. I thought he had some, uh, bad plastic surgery.
I mean, there's that, too.
He's probably done that. [laughing]
I was gonna say, come on.
His face looks weird.
Oh, yeah. It's, it's pretty creepy, but at the same time, still, you gotta think of what they're going through, Victor.
[laughing] I, I, I don't care.
[laughing]
I just, uh, insult people-
That's true
... that's what I do.
There you go.
Just insult without any, any other thought. [upbeat music]
Welcome back to the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm FJ.
I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches.
And I'm disgusted.
[laughing] I kind of am, too.
You're, you're lethargic, that's what you are.
I am lethargic as well.
This is a very lazy Friday.
Mm-hmm. I know, and I've got-... tons of commercials I need to make, and I'm just sitting in my office trying to write them up, and I'm like, "Ugh!"
That's what AI is for. You know, I feel guilty somewhat because I posted that stupid caricature, and I only did it for the money, Victor.
[laughing]
I s- I sold myself online on Facebook. You know, I, I, I put my whole Facebook on professional mode-
Mm-hmm
... then I monetized my profile, and you know how much I made on that stupid caricature? [laughing]
How much?
$0.54.
$0.54!
Nice.
That's right.
Big bucks.
Yeah.
Nice.
I'm- and so, and then I saw one of our listeners', uh, post talking about, like, "AI is killing the environment. I hope you're happy." [laughing]
[laughing] Well, y- you know, you could take that $0.54 cents and buy something from the environment, Peaches.
See, instead of, uh, you know, worrying about water, we can instead drink this crap that you guys... literal crap, you guys.
[laughing]
Literal crap. [laughing]
Yes. Uh, it's a beer called Nature Calls from, uh, Milwaukee's Breakside Brewery, and, uh, it's got bear poop in it.
Yeah, which moron made- decided with it- to go with this idea?
Uh, well, it was a partnership between Columbia Sportswear and-
And Smokey the Bear
... [chuckles] and Breakside Brewery.
[laughing]
And they say, you know, it's safe and tastes good.
I bet that hippie wears, like, aluminum-free deodorant and all that crap.
Uh.
Listens to Grateful Dead unironically. Loves that band.
Yeah, this sounds so disgusting.
That's a typical Pink Floyd fan. "Whoa, dude, I can make beer out of bear poop!"
Yeah, um, I guess they collected the bear scat on trails in Montana.
Imagine being that guy.
[chuckles] Just the, the bear poop-
"I collected it for the beer!"
What kind of pooper scooper-
Yeah
... would you have to have for that?
[laughing]
[laughing] We don't have one of those. You have to use- do it by hand with a glove.
Oh, geez. They say it has notes of huckleberries and honey. [laughing]
Do you have to follow the bear or... [laughing]
I, I would hope not.
Well, I mean-
I, I don't think following a bear is a good idea.
Yeah, does it need to be fresh, or can you find old scat, like?
Uh, let's see if it says. I mean, does it matter? [laughing]
I mean, the, the only reason why that stuff is being made is because of idiots like us talking about it on the air.
Pretty much.
Nobody's gonna go, "I need my Nature Calls beer!"
Well, there's-
"There's legit bear poop in here."
There was-
You know that one weird uncle that likes that type of thing?
Yeah, there was one time, uh, Stone Brewing made a beer using recycled sewage water.
I talked about that.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, say no to toilet beer, that whole thing. [laughing]
Toilet beer, I remember that. And, uh, there was a beer in 2015 from Rogue Ales, Beard Beer, made using the yeast in brewmaster John Maier's beard.
Ugh!
[laughing]
John Maier had a beard?
Uh, the, the brewmaster. His, his, his name was John Maier, but he's not, not the guitar guy.
He's not the John Mayer.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, I'll make a... I'll, I'll make a, a beer out of my toenail clippings, and we can just go along with that, too.
Ah! Ah, triple IPA, Peaches.
Yep, I'm out.
[laughing] Wait, what? This is, this is how stupid we're getting.
It's lunchtime, dude. You're gonna make people sick, bro.
I mean, you've talked about worse stuff. We're talking about bear poop, right?
[laughing]
We're on a mature radio station, all right? People don't tune in for us for e- exquisite entertainment. [upbeat music]
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm FJ.
I'm Victor.
It sounded like FJ almost forgot his name.
I-
[laughing]
I've done it a couple times. Um, people calling me Jeff keeps throwing me off, um-
It's one of those days where everyone's just not, I don't know, excited that it's Friday. Come on, Victor.
Ah!
Quit stretching.
Tired.
Get yourself jumping up and down.
Ah. No, I'm gonna stay seat- seated.
Come on.
You're so close to the end of the day.
Oh.
You're gonna make it.
I mean, yeah, you're one of the first people out of here.
I know, and I feel like it's never gonna happen. [laughing] I feel like the day is just gonna go on and on and on. So tired.
By the time you're done recording your commercials, you can go home.
Uh, pretty much. I, um, I'm gonna have to take a lunch break, I think, and then, uh, maybe I'll come back super charged. We'll see.
Yeah, refuel with some gas station food. He walks in here, FJ, with a corn dog and a burrito from Maverick.
Yeah.
At least go for the pizza, come on!
But I feel like also, your, your bathroom breaks are gonna be pretty horrendous.
They could be, you know? Been a lot of corn dogs recently.
[laughing]
Corn dogs are good.
Corn dogs are great.
[laughing]
Especially when you eat the mini corn dogs, and you just dip them in mustard.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, you gotta have ketchup, man.
No.
Get out of here.
No.
Ketchup's okay, but it's not good with a corn dog. You gotta have mustard.
It's all about the mustard.
Yeah.
Ketchup and mustard.
Nah.
You gotta have both. That's what I say.
I'm not a ketchup guy. I can just go for the mustard.
Whoa, all right.
That's-
Victor is the ketchup guy.
Why don't you go hang out with Josh Tyler then?
Yeah.
Yeah, not a ketchup guy.
Josh Tyler, come on now.
[laughing]
He, he calls the, uh, peanut butter inside Reese's, like, sweaty peanut butter.
Yeah.
That's just weird.
He, he doesn't like Reese's.
Which is weird.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who doesn't like Reese's?
That's, that's Josh up here.
Jade doesn't like it either.
Well, Jade als- Jade also doesn't eat any dessert or sweets, anything of that sort.
Jade doesn't like, uh, peanut butter with chocolate at all-
That's-
... in any-
That's wrong. That's unnatural
... any situation.
And, and we decided to put that guy in charge of all the creative decisions.
Mm-hmm, exactly, because he's got terrible taste, just like Josh Tyler-
[laughing]
... and apparently FJ, because-
He's got a weird sense of humor, too
... no ketchup. Who?
Jade.
Yeah, he does.
He, he doesn't laugh at anything really funny, but he laughs at the, the stupid crap, like, from Big Mouth.
Yeah, he loves that show.
Yeah, he loves that show. He loves just, uh, the, the inspirational messages more than anybody that we play on here.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, we've got some pretty good new inspirational messages coming soon.
Yeah, thanks to me.
Thanks to Peaches.
That's right.
Getting the hard work done.
Give me the credit. Dang it!
You've got, you've got the credit.
Yeah.
There you go.
Well, I, I-
Shut up [laughing]
... I wanted to, [laughing] I wanted to talk about this stupid question.
Well, we could do it the next break.
Oh, okay, fine.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
We'll waste this break talking about how terrible Jade is.
Yeah, and how ketchup is good.
Ketchup's great.
I'm gonna go get a corn dog.
What would be your fa- three favorite condiments, Victor? Come on.
[laughing] Ketchup, ketchup, and ketchup.
Oh.
Or organic ketchup, uh, Heinz ketchup, and then what's the other one? Hunt's?
Hunt's ketchup ain't too bad.
I-
Del Monte. You know, all ketchup is good.
They're all ketchup. [laughing]
Have you tried that Rao's homemade or what's, like, a Rao's organic, you know, that overly expensive brand?
Do they-
You know what Rao's is
... do they make ketchup?
They, they, they do.
What?
I have a bottle of it. It's sealed, and I can give it to you 'cause I'm not using it.
Aha, I, I know they make, you know, pasta sauce, marinara and things.
Yeah, you wanna buy, like, a $9 jar of marinara?
[laughing] It's-... that every once in a while-
It's much cheaper just to make your own.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, I know I don't, I don't wanna be that guy. I'm sorry. I don't wanna be that guy who's like, "Make your own home from scratch!" You know, that type of thing. We have one of our listeners, by the way, I see his comments pop up all the time like, "Oh, they're poisoning us. That's why I make everything from scratch at my place." I'm like, "Dude, are you really churning butter?" [laughing]
[laughing]
Are you at home doing every- do you have cows, and then you process the milk, or what?
I grow the tomatoes-
[laughing] Yeah.
-then I smash them myself, and I add my homegrown pepper and salt and... No.
[laughing] You've, you've seen those videos of, uh, uh, the, the Amish community, right? How they prepare all day for dinner. [laughing]
Um, I don't know if I've seen videos of, of it.
It, it's wild. They gotta do- they gotta wake up at, like, 4:00 in the morning to prepare breakfast 'cause they gotta make the bread from scratch. They gotta do everything.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
I don't-
No, I'm out.
But I guess if you, you know... That's just how you live. I, I don't know. I spend my day sitting here listening to music and yapping. I ain't got time to do that, Peaches.
Would you rather wake up at 4:00 a.m. to do this or wake up at 4:00 a.m. to churn butter?
Um, I-
I'm eating organic.
I guess, uh, it would depend on the day. [laughing]
[upbeat music] Greetings, it's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm FJ.
I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches. I'm having an argument right now with my friend Christian, because J. Cole dropped an album, apparently, and I don't really care for rap, and I, I specifically hate J. Cole. So when he posted on his Instagram note saying, "J. Cole just dropped a new heat," I'm like, "Get out of here with that crap," and now he's- [laughing]
[laughing]
-going back and forth with me. But that wasn't what I wanted to talk about. I, I asked ChatGPT one of those stupid questions. I think, for some reason, this subreddit keeps popping up on my feed about, um, uh... It's, it's a group of older gamers.
Okay.
It says, like, Older Chill Games or something like that.
Okay.
And people are asking dumb questions like, "Hey, what's, what's a video game you regret buying?" Which we talked about before.
Yeah.
This one was, "You can only play three video games for the rest of your life. What are they?"
Oh, okay.
Oh, that's tough.
That... Well, I know I would say, obviously, Red Dead 2.
Oh, okay.
'Cause you can get a lot of hours out of that game. They'd have to be, like, some really long games.
I know you love Leisure Suit Larry, and I know you love-
[laughing]
... you love Sneak- [laughing] Sneaky game.
Those games are too, too short, those games. [laughing]
It's, it's visually appealing, Victor. You can replay it.
Oh, I'm trying to think here. I, you know, even though I don't like the game, I kn- I think it's pretty long. Skyrim, isn't that a pretty long game?
That's a good one.
You can spend-
Yeah
... spend a lot of time.
Bethesda classic.
I mean, I have it for, uh, VR. Yeah.
Ooh.
Look at you.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I don't like you playing the VR.
Why?
Because you compared the Duke to me in Resident Evil.
[laughing]
Okay? You're like, "Look, it's Peaches, this big, fat guy." [laughing]
That's true. He... You know, when you're in VR, the Duke looks just like you. [laughing]
[laughing]
Uh, Resident Evil 8's pretty good but, uh, kinda short, too. Uh, maybe GTA V, Red Dead 2, oh, and then Breath of the Wild. Yeah.
Now, see, I asked ChatGPT that same question. It said, "Breath of the Wild, GTA V, and then Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2."
Oh, that, that, that's a good one. I put a lot of time into that game back when it was new. Um, but it... I, I don't know. I think I'd get sick of it.
Yeah, it didn't have the staying power.
Like, I mean, I was pretty good at it, too, but I don't know. What three games would you pick, Peaches?
Uh, to keep myself fit, got Wii Sports.
[laughing] Okay.
[laughing]
What else would I pick there? Um,
I, I... See, I mostly play, like, sport... Minecraft, definitely. That's gotta be on there.
You, you could play that forever.
You can play that... Hey, you can play that forever. Uh, I mostly played sports games for a while.
Mm-hmm.
So I have to go, like, NBA 2K or something like that.
Right on. What about you, FJ?
I'm probably gonna go with Borderlands 2.
Okay.
Um...
You're confused?
Maybe Ark Raiders,
'cause-
You're obsessed with it?
I am. It, it's really taking over my life slowly. And
maybe Black Ops II, just, uh, the zombies on that was the best, and I put a lot of hours into playing zombies.
Right on.
You should watch Victor try playing a first-person shooter.
Yeah, I'm not good at them. [laughing] I am just-
You should see him try doing those draw- like, those, uh, duels in Red Dead Redemption 2.
Oh, yeah?
[laughing] Sometimes I-
Oh, I died again.
[laughing] Yeah, sometimes I really suck at the duels. [laughing]
[laughing]
I'm generally a, a pro when it comes to Red Dead, but some days is a bad day.
When you try to hunt... I mean, you tried doing that, that hunting on, on stream once.
Yeah, and I'm, I'm good at hunting.
Eh.
I'm, I'm, I'm a pro hunter. [laughing]
I, I watched. It was infuriating.
[laughing]
Made me rip my invisible hair out.
[laughing] Oh, whatever, Peaches.
[laughing]
Uh, I need to get back to streaming. I need to fix my computer. I need to clean up my studio.
I'm about to start streaming.
Yeah?
Yeah, finally. I got my PC set up. I'm just worried that when I do stream, my whole thing's gonna go kaplooie.
Oh.
'Cause I've tried, like, streaming my game into the Discord chat, and all of a sudden, it goes frame by frame by frame.
Hmm.
I'm like, "What's going on here?" It's a newer computer.
Yeah, I, I don't know, man. Just keep it tinkering away, Peaches. You know, there's a lot of YouTube videos that'll walk you through the good setup, the good settings, and I don't know. You have a decent internet connection, don't you?
Yeah, I thought it was great.
Yeah. I mean, I know that upload speeds on your provider, if it's the one I remember-
Yeah, still is
... aren't the greatest. You gotta get, gotta get that fiber.
Well, I gotta call the landlord and be like, "Hey, can we install this?"
Mm-hmm.
And they wouldn't let me put up a, a, a window curtain, like the window rod, like installing one of those.
Really?
They made me, uh... What's it called? They made me, uh, use one of the tension rods.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah. No screwing any holes in the wall.
Well, you can still hang stuff up-
Oh, okay
... which is better than most.
Yeah.
All those new apartments, I know you can't hang stuff in those places.
Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. That's why, uh, you should just buy a home that's, you know-
Oh, yeah! [laughing]
[laughing]
Let me go to the bank and say, "Put 'em up!"
[laughing] Then you can do whatever you want.
I get free housing. I go to jail. [laughing]
[laughing]
[upbeat music] The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]