In this powerful episode of How's Your Ma?, Orla and Leanne welcome Jackie — and from the very first minute, it's clear this is a story unlike any other. Jackie opens up about a lifetime shaped by survival: growing up in poverty and domestic violence, being placed in an orphanage as a young child, caring for her siblings well before she was old enough to care for herself, and eventually finding safety, warmth, and stability in ways she never expected.
Jackie speaks candidly about her marriage, her escape into what felt like freedom, and how a charming man she met at work turned her world upside down — love bombing, coercive control, physical abuse, and the terrifying experience of navigating the courts and family law system while pregnant and afraid. She shares the heartbreak of her baby Abby's serious heart condition diagnosis, the isolation she endured, and the years it took to finally break free.
But this isn't just a story of hardship. Jackie speaks with remarkable clarity, humour, and strength about where she is now — in a good place, learning to say no, and writing the next chapter of her life. She even has a book in her. This is Part 1 of a two-part episode.
If you or someone you know needs support, you can contact the Domestic Violence helpline SASH on 1800 911 221, or reach out to domestic violence services in your area.
Timecodes:
00:00 — Welcome & introducing Jackie; Orla and Leanne reflect on her story
01:46 —
"Everybody has a story — and I'm holding the pen on this one" — Jackie on why she's sharing her truth
02:01 — Years of writing and deleting; finding the courage to stop being ashamed
04:00 — At 57, stepping into the next chapter; giving yourself permission
05:06 — Learning to say no; breaking the people-pleasing habit
07:43 — Jackie begins at the beginning: growing up one of eight children in poverty outside Lusk
09:01 — Memories of domestic abuse at home; flashes of fear
11:14 — The night her mum left through the back window
12:06 — Left to care for her younger siblings; feeding and minding babies as a young child
14:25 — Mum returns with the guards; taking the children to a refuge (Women's Aid)
14:48 — Placed in the orphanage; Sister Stella and a surprisingly safe, warm childhood
17:26 — Good memories: summers at the beach, donkeys, hot milk and bedtime stories
18:47 — The shame of school; hiding where she lived, feeling different
22:26 — Siblings being fostered out one by one; Jackie left behind, too old
27:39 — Running down the stairs to greet prospective foster families, hoping to be chosen
28:48 — Sister Stella gently suggesting she go live with her gran; Jackie's reluctance
32:35 — Moving to her grandmother's; her mum's alcoholism; feeling used, not loved
58:38 — Alan has a work accident; Jackie gets her first taste of freedom going to work
59:54 — Splitting from Alan in 2002; the loneliness and emotional isolation of that marriage
01:00:31 — Meeting her "nightmare" — a charming area manager, the love bombing begins
01:03:34 —
"He was my Prince Charming — and then he flipped a switch"; the abuse begins
01:05:40 — The first attack; not seeing the signs; coercive control and isolation
01:07:33 — His sob stories and her empathy; confiding in his mother (his biggest enabler)
01:08:55 — The fear; walking on eggshells; the manipulation being worse than the physical abuse
01:10:17 — Breaking up in 2007; discovering she's pregnant with Abby
01:12:50 — Her sister passes away; the pregnancy continuing amid chaos
01:13:58 — The 20-week scan; devastating news about Abby's heart condition
01:15:17 —
"It doesn't matter if she has Down Syndrome — I just need to know if she'll live"; his reaction to finding out it's a girl
01:33:41 — Mental health crisis; her uncle Pat's concern; going to the GP; anti-depressants and an upcoming court case
01:35:14 — Navigating family law; the system's failings for domestic abuse survivors
01:40:31 — Abby refuses to go back; Jackie stands firm —
"She's not going back" 01:41:48 — Who he really is; the irony of his "career" in close protection
02:10:50 — Jackie today: a different person, a different strength
02:11:14 — What she'd do differently now; the strength she's found
02:12:06 — Abby thriving; the roller coaster of keeping her daughter held together
02:12:27 — Closing words:
"Don't ignore the red flags. Don't be afraid to talk." 02:13:11 — Resources: SASH Domestic Violence Helpline 1800 911 221
02:13:54 — Orla and Leanne reflect on Jackie's journey; what a warrior she is
02:16:04 — Jackie's song:
Celebrate Me by Sinéad O'Connor —
"it sums up everything I've gone through and everything I'm about to embark on" 02:17:18 — Teaser for Part 2; wrap-up and outro