Speaker 1: Welcome back to Beardless Dickless Me.
Speaker 2: I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: Okay, when last we left the show, the kid was
Speaker 1: in charge of the last episode and a good time
Speaker 1: was had.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 1: It seems like a powerful It was great. There was
Speaker 1: a quiz and I ate Stitt and ship like that
Speaker 1: and I've been living under spoils that. But as you'll
Speaker 1: all remember last show, I was clock watching, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: my auctions. And if you're a member of that Kevin
Speaker 1: Smith club and you watch the show at that Kevin
Speaker 1: Smith Club or listen to the after show Beardless stick
Speaker 1: Was Plus, you would have heard the results. Because during
Speaker 1: Beardless Stickless Plus, I found that I had been beat
Speaker 1: sniped at the last second.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: As is the way on eBay, my hubris was such
Speaker 1: that I was like, nobody else could possibly want these somebody.
Speaker 2: I feel like it was targeted.
Speaker 1: I do as well.
Speaker 2: I think somebody is trying to take away your joy.
Speaker 1: I think so, I honestly do, or more or somebody
Speaker 1: who's like.
Speaker 2: Let me buy Kevin Smith a gift, That's what.
Speaker 1: I really I I really hope some fan was just
Speaker 1: like I can't wait to give this to Kevin. But
Speaker 1: I think one of two things, because I mean, of
Speaker 1: course there could be other Rocky bull Wicle fans out there.
Speaker 1: There must be, I will find them. But it could
Speaker 1: be somebody who's selling it, going like it's only going
Speaker 1: for that little let me bid it up, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: It was by five bucks though, right.
Speaker 1: Well, what happened was I was the top bidder, and
Speaker 1: then as the auction ended I wasn't paying attention to
Speaker 1: it because I was doing some fucking feckless podcast and shit,
Speaker 1: instead of worrying about the important things of life.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you love our time together.
Speaker 1: So I found that, Oh my god, like the person
Speaker 1: sitting there, all they had to do is be like
Speaker 1: and they probably entered a few to see what number
Speaker 1: I had kind of gone to, and then they found
Speaker 1: it won five bucks above it last night. Night before
Speaker 1: last night, somebody tried to do it again. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I was paying attention this time, and they did no way,
Speaker 1: and they did hammer and I saw the bid history
Speaker 1: at the end, I had put in a much higher
Speaker 1: number just in case. Thank god I did, because they
Speaker 1: got within twenty five bucks of that fucking number.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, and then it.
Speaker 1: Ran out because they were hoping to snipe me like
Speaker 1: they did last time. I'm not saying it's the same
Speaker 1: fucking villain. It's snigly whiplash. But whoever it was going
Speaker 1: to do it knew what they were fucking doing.
Speaker 2: How many people are are trying to auction for the
Speaker 2: Rocky and Bullwinkle pieces.
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just wondering, big world out there.
Speaker 2: I'm just kind of wondering.
Speaker 1: I think how many people are on the planet. It's
Speaker 1: me and three hundred million people. It's all competing for
Speaker 1: the same and that's it. So losing that auction. If
Speaker 1: you if you heard, if you were watching Beardless Stickless
Speaker 1: Plus or heard it, you would have seen like it
Speaker 1: was almost somebody came in and said, I'm sorry your
Speaker 1: wife is dead.
Speaker 2: I was sure mom would love that.
Speaker 1: Well, remember how fucking upset I was. I was so
Speaker 1: like fucking like you were.
Speaker 2: You were very very bummed out this.
Speaker 1: And and to remind people, they're two pieces, and one
Speaker 1: was like Bullwinkle and Rocky with the watch me pull
Speaker 1: a rabbit out of my hat, which I'll be honest
Speaker 1: with you, I just won last night somebody put another
Speaker 1: one up and I won.
Speaker 3: That.
Speaker 1: That's why I think it might have been somebody trying
Speaker 1: to goose the other sail. But the other piece ever
Speaker 1: in the world, not yet, because the other piece, the
Speaker 1: one I wanted more than anything else, was the piece
Speaker 1: of Rocky the Flying Squirrel holding a check. Yes. So
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, you'll never forget, especially
Speaker 1: when you find out what happened. So I lost, and
Speaker 1: I was like, fucking I wasn't gonna be able to
Speaker 1: fall asleep that night. I was so upset by this ship. No, no,
Speaker 1: everything's fucked, and I needed that that was the only
Speaker 1: thing that was gonna make the difference. Then I happened
Speaker 1: upon an idea. Now I'm not trying to buy this
Speaker 1: piece because of its age. I'm trying to buy the
Speaker 1: piece because of the character. You're gonna pay for age
Speaker 1: because it ain't nobody doing Rocky Bowwinkle in the moder age.
Speaker 1: Certainly on cells. They did a Rocky Bowl Coal show
Speaker 1: fairly recently on Amazon that was animated. But everything's done
Speaker 1: on computers, so it's very fucking rare that you're gonna
Speaker 1: come across these old timey pieces to begin with, a
Speaker 1: lot of them were just thrown out. Shit, you gotta
Speaker 1: expect to pay premium. I was gonna be paying three
Speaker 1: hundred dollars for this piece, which is cheap because it
Speaker 1: was made back in the day. The check that was
Speaker 1: in the frame was like nineteen seventy two or something.
Speaker 2: Shit down.
Speaker 1: This is an old piece and a cool idea like
Speaker 1: Rocky was painted too hole to check like expressly for
Speaker 1: that it's cute. On an earlier purchase on eBay, I
Speaker 1: had bought this Bugs Bunny piece, which I fucking absolutely loved,
Speaker 1: and it was sent here and it was very inexpensive,
Speaker 1: especially for like the image it was from an old
Speaker 1: like nineteen fucking forty eight or fifty two Looney Tune cartoon.
Speaker 1: And the person on eBay who I bought it f
Speaker 1: I'm like hit me up afterwards to be like, did
Speaker 1: you like the replica? And I was like, replica. And
Speaker 1: I looked at the piece and it looked it's a
Speaker 1: hand painted sl it just wasn't made for the cartoon.
Speaker 1: It was a guy who's just like, oh, I love
Speaker 1: this frame and I can paint, so I'm gonna paint this.
Speaker 1: Oh So I thought about that and then I reached
Speaker 1: out to my man and I was like, hey, man,
Speaker 1: do you take commissions? And he was like, yeah, what
Speaker 1: do you have in mine? And I sent him the
Speaker 1: picture of the item that I lost on eBay. Oh shit, now,
Speaker 1: right away, this is a game changer, because again, I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to buy this ship for the age. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to buy it for the image.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I know an insanely talented artist now who can mimic
Speaker 1: and perfectly, and that's what he likes to do. I
Speaker 1: offered him one of my comic book covers to do
Speaker 1: quick stops because I love this guy's work so much.
Speaker 1: But he was like, I don't do that. Like he's like,
Speaker 1: I do stuff that exists. I do recreation. He does.
Speaker 1: He's insanely fucking faithful, beautiful recreations. And so I said,
Speaker 1: can you do this? My man did the research and
Speaker 1: he's like, they've done it three other times. So I
Speaker 1: did all three for you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: They'll be arriving on Thursday ready for framing. And I
Speaker 1: put my own checks in there, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So now somebody's out there going, like you boot liked it.
Speaker 1: I'm not selling this oh this is for you. It
Speaker 1: just for me in the house and shit like someone
Speaker 1: from you and but they could have it. And I
Speaker 1: told the guy man, I was like, I was like,
Speaker 1: what do I owe you? And he tried to charge me.
Speaker 1: I said, bro, I was ready to pay three hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: so you're definitely getting three hundred dollars minimum and stuff,
Speaker 1: and I gave him four. But I told him. I
Speaker 1: was like, now, like now I could do I can't
Speaker 1: have anything like now there's I found a way to
Speaker 1: appease that fucking I gotta go to eBay and see
Speaker 1: if there's a new Rocky and Bullwinkle print, because I
Speaker 1: could just go to this guy and be like, can
Speaker 1: you draw this and paint this? And he does it
Speaker 1: and it's fucking beautiful. That bugs bunny piece. Man would
Speaker 1: fool anybody, but he wouldn't try to fool somebody like
Speaker 1: I looked at his listening and it says like recreation
Speaker 1: right in it and shit. But I saw the image
Speaker 1: and I love the image and stuff, so I was
Speaker 1: drawing to it. So he sent all three. I I
Speaker 1: you know, I needed one because I got a checked,
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna find other checks to stay.
Speaker 2: Find no shit. Fuck yes, you hold the power.
Speaker 1: Now, you know what I'm saying. I was so proud
Speaker 1: of myself. I talked about this for the next four days.
Speaker 1: You're tune me out. She put in headphones, she stopped listening.
Speaker 1: But I was like, do you understand how brilliant that is?
Speaker 1: Like I fucking was able to, Like I snatched victory
Speaker 1: out of the jaws of the.
Speaker 2: Thought your joy. You went out and you found your joy.
Speaker 1: And breddit more joy. What I did is I hired
Speaker 1: an artist. I'm proud of your money into the economy.
Speaker 2: You turned the situation around. The last time I saw you,
Speaker 2: it was sad.
Speaker 3: I'm upset.
Speaker 1: What else could I fucking fix?
Speaker 2: Amen?
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm gonna start looking at cancer because mind
Speaker 1: to it, I can figure out. You know, all right,
Speaker 1: I can't have you, That's what I'm saying. Maybe it
Speaker 1: ain't Robert Smith. Maybe Kevin Smith is the cure. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, thank you very much.
Speaker 2: That was that was too much.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think that ship was wonderfully, wonderfully
Speaker 1: wonderfully wonderfully pretty. You never talk to you anything for you?
Speaker 1: How can what how can some British people sing and
Speaker 1: their accent goes away, and then some British people it don't.
Speaker 2: It's a preference.
Speaker 1: Can you sing British? Have you ever tried singing British
Speaker 1: with your new band? Were like, you scam me? You
Speaker 1: know my song, It's on my playlist.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I've heard.
Speaker 1: From so many fucking people who are like, your daughter's
Speaker 1: song is fire?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, why thank you?
Speaker 1: I keep waiting from me, ask me the question where
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put them on you instead? Because I'm not
Speaker 1: how to deal with this ship When people ask me
Speaker 1: questions in real life, like what's chasing Amy about? It
Speaker 1: was like, oh, it's about me and Joey Adams. So
Speaker 1: if people are gonna be like who she's singing.
Speaker 2: About, I'm and be like, no one has asked.
Speaker 1: I tell people. I was like, appreciate she's singing about me?
Speaker 1: I'm where are you right here?
Speaker 2: You scim wait what?
Speaker 1: Wait what? Because I'm so successful in Spark, because I'm
Speaker 1: so charming, because I'm the best dad ever, I can
Speaker 1: see just yours.
Speaker 2: You fucking hated me anyways, So.
Speaker 1: Song starts to fall. If you just listened to the
Speaker 1: know was.
Speaker 2: Yours when I lived here? You fucking aided me anyways.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's that's now that you're gone, because I
Speaker 1: don't well, that's not my story. You did live here,
Speaker 1: but I didn't want you to leave. I want you
Speaker 1: to live here. Now you're like please, I made the
Speaker 1: other like fucking last month. I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: you could sell your house, just move back into this house.
Speaker 1: And hardly received that so well.
Speaker 2: I said thank you so much. She was I have
Speaker 2: to politely decline.
Speaker 1: She went and grabbed a gas, poured it all over
Speaker 1: herself and grabbed my back. And it's like you were
Speaker 1: saying nothing, nothing, all good, enjoy your house.
Speaker 2: Hey, you're not an No, you're not Wait what are
Speaker 2: my lyrics?
Speaker 1: I don't know, not.
Speaker 2: An angel, But you like to act that way you go.
Speaker 2: That one's straight straight from the heart about you.
Speaker 1: You scared me. Robert Smith covering fucking star.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I locked Cinnamon. I locked I locked Cinnamon.
Speaker 3: The rappit Now I like send him in the bat that.
Speaker 1: He sounds way different than that.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm trying to have to put your hair.
Speaker 1: Up like channel my Robert Smith?
Speaker 2: Can you can you style your hair like him? One day?
Speaker 1: Can you give me some can give me your hair,
Speaker 1: maybe I can do it. Before we went, a queen
Speaker 1: of fucking vanity here who spends like four thousand hours
Speaker 1: doing her eyes?
Speaker 2: Do you see my eyes right now?
Speaker 1: Do I see that? Do I not? You've drawn a
Speaker 1: lot of attention to them. It's like you've drawn arrows
Speaker 1: that go here are my eyes. But before we went,
Speaker 1: she was like, does myke what what do you call that?
Speaker 1: I called it a kerchief? What are you wearing?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Ki, well what would you have called it? If I
Speaker 1: hadn't said kerchief? Head thing? You referred to it as something,
Speaker 1: You used a different term of art that wasn't kerchief.
Speaker 1: That made me.
Speaker 2: Feel scarf head scarf.
Speaker 1: Kerchief is old time. It's like Mama and a kerchief
Speaker 1: and I am cap. We just settled down for a
Speaker 1: long winter snap. Oh my god, you know that is
Speaker 1: the night before Christmas? Oh really, the night before Christmas?
Speaker 1: And all through the house not a creature was stirring night.
Speaker 1: The children were nestled, all snug in their beds, with
Speaker 1: visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. And Mama
Speaker 1: and her kerchief and I in my cap had just
Speaker 1: settled down for a long winter snap. Then there's a
Speaker 1: home invasion. That's when everything turns. This family is in trouble.
Speaker 1: We have to we have to cause somebody what's going on.
Speaker 1: That home invasion is from His name is Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: The food that built America. I love and I've spoken
Speaker 1: about on Fat Men Beyond and your mother watch it incessantly.
Speaker 1: It's on History Channel, it's on Disney Plus, it's on Hulu,
Speaker 1: which apparently they're all owned by Disney. It is fat
Speaker 1: It's basically all the fucking food brand names that you know,
Speaker 1: their secret origin stories. So it's like doing comic books,
Speaker 1: like fucking His name was Milton Hershey, So Campbell Scott
Speaker 1: is the narrator. So we spend a lot of time
Speaker 1: in this house now, so it's just me and your mother.
Speaker 1: Got to pass the time somehow. We Campbell Scott constantly.
Speaker 1: So you know, she'll be like, she'll like talk about well,
Speaker 1: Lisa Romaine called. I'll be like, her name is Lisa Romayne,
Speaker 1: and she will be responsible for a billion dollar industry
Speaker 1: because that's him throughout all of it. He's a fantastic
Speaker 1: fucking narrator. So I'm always doing that at her now.
Speaker 2: His name was Kevin.
Speaker 1: Yes, his name is Kevin Smith, and he's going to
Speaker 1: irritate you like Campbell Scott, your mother loved, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: talk about an audience of one. Oh my gosh. She
Speaker 1: loves when I can Scott, I could make her laugh
Speaker 1: like crazy, doesn't like.
Speaker 2: Much, but when she likes something, she.
Speaker 1: Says that she's always just like, you're the funniest fucking
Speaker 1: person I know. But she doesn't like laugh at my stuff. No,
Speaker 1: if I do other people's stuff and not just do
Speaker 1: their bits, but like it's weird, like she's not.
Speaker 2: She likes an impersonation she does.
Speaker 1: She likes it, Honestly, she likes it if it's about her.
Speaker 1: That's what it comes down to. So what I'm doing,
Speaker 1: like his name is, She's like, that's the show we
Speaker 1: watch together. On the end of that show, and that
Speaker 1: joke is being done just for me. She loves when
Speaker 1: i'm She'll be like, do a quick fifteen, just wants
Speaker 1: to her team done at her and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: She's out there. Oh, she's out there in so many ways.
Speaker 2: This isn't even beardless stickless. Plus this is the main show.
Speaker 2: Oh I forgot we were safe the club. I love Jennifer,
Speaker 2: we love you much love.
Speaker 1: She Look, I'm just gonna put on Front Street. Your
Speaker 1: mother's a weird duck. Say it.
Speaker 2: You're telling me, buddy.
Speaker 1: I love that show, The Food That Built America. They
Speaker 1: have spin offs, the Mega Brands that Built America, How
Speaker 1: Disney Built America, the Toys that Built America. And I
Speaker 1: was talking about on Fat Man Beyond, and people I
Speaker 1: know work on that show, who I worked with on
Speaker 1: Comic Book Man. So they reach out and they're like,
Speaker 1: do you want to be on the show, And I said,
Speaker 1: fuck yeah. So yesterday I was on the show.
Speaker 2: Oh my God.
Speaker 1: And yesterday I got to sit there and do the
Speaker 1: thing that I watch people do on that show and
Speaker 1: enjoy oh so much.
Speaker 2: Oh my God.
Speaker 1: Adam Richmond is the gold standard on that show. Wow.
Speaker 1: He's one of the many people that talks and gives
Speaker 1: you context, historical context for the stories and shit. And
Speaker 1: I guess he's in the food world. He was an
Speaker 1: actor or child actor, but I guess he was in
Speaker 1: the food world or something. So if they bring him
Speaker 1: onto The Food That Built America, But now he's on
Speaker 1: all of them, like on the Mega Brands of Built
Speaker 1: America and toys that built America and shit, and he's
Speaker 1: wonderful on camera. He's he's a great host and engaging
Speaker 1: and fun and shit like that. So yesterday I got
Speaker 1: to do that.
Speaker 2: That's pretty mind blowing.
Speaker 1: In the span of a month, bro, it went for
Speaker 1: this is this is the incredible, rare breathing that I do.
Speaker 1: The first world I live in? Who are people like?
Speaker 1: We got real problems? And Kevin Smith's biggest problem was
Speaker 1: he missed a Rocky the Flying Squirrel check piece of art,
Speaker 1: but he really made Yeah, I mean fucking this dude's
Speaker 1: problems are like, he's like a sitcom, a living sitcom.
Speaker 1: Everything gets solved in thirty minutes or less and shit
Speaker 1: and they don't talk about it the next week. Te
Speaker 1: So but what was my latest problem?
Speaker 2: Oh? Well, you just love this show.
Speaker 1: I love the show and I talked about it and
Speaker 1: within a month I was on the show.
Speaker 2: That's pretty that's pretty wild.
Speaker 1: When does the other shoe drop? Where they're like? And
Speaker 1: then everything took a turn. When is my second act
Speaker 1: of Behind the Music? You're not familiar with Behind the Music,
Speaker 1: but VH one did a series do you know it?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Behind the Music had a structure. I mean, these things
Speaker 1: are basically behind the music for food, but behind the
Speaker 1: music structure was always in the second act, shit was
Speaker 1: going to go south. It was never like you know,
Speaker 1: and they kept winning and they kept winning and fucking
Speaker 1: and then they're still winning the end. There's always got
Speaker 1: to be some sort of like shit took a turn.
Speaker 1: And then seriously I thought, like with this black hat,
Speaker 1: it wasn't doing it so much. Give me that ship.
Speaker 1: Was that problem made problem you want stick? So Harley said, like,
Speaker 1: because it's such a problem she was working with this
Speaker 1: ship and she said, what is this R and CO?
Speaker 1: What's R? That's the brand Dart Palmate. Palmade is what
Speaker 1: I've been saying for fucking ever ever since this si
Speaker 1: hair starts sticking out, I was like, I wish we
Speaker 1: lived in the age of palm E that would put it.
Speaker 2: I use Palmade every day.
Speaker 1: So this is like a band, like a like deodorant
Speaker 1: stick of Palmate.
Speaker 2: It's like a glue stick for your hair and you.
Speaker 1: Just put it on the fucking areas that pop out
Speaker 1: of the hat. Yeah, what do you do it for? All?
Speaker 2: My My hair is super super broken from bleaching childhood.
Speaker 2: Yea from my trauma. My hair.
Speaker 1: Lay on the parents. Fucking parents broke my hair. So wait,
Speaker 1: you do it? Do you do it to keep it
Speaker 1: down out of your kerchief? Like right now? To go
Speaker 1: back to the term of art. Harley was like, does
Speaker 1: this look stupid? It's like, what your fucking kerchief?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: What mean? So do you use this because you're wearing
Speaker 1: that like you wouldn't use it? I use it every
Speaker 1: day even if you're not wearing something on your head.
Speaker 2: Because if I don't, all these little hairs stick up
Speaker 2: like me with my hat. Yes, that's why I called
Speaker 2: them little hairs. And you were like, they're not.
Speaker 1: Little, yeah, she said right before once she was like
Speaker 1: this would be good for your little hairs, and I
Speaker 1: was like, fuck you, you got little hairs. You and your
Speaker 1: little hairs? Dad? Not everyone saw clerk's dad, your hairs
Speaker 1: are little.
Speaker 2: Someone.
Speaker 1: Then I go upstairs after you leaving, I'm like, can
Speaker 1: you believe she said? Not everyone saw clerks. That kid's
Speaker 1: head is in the s.
Speaker 2: Everyone obviously always tells me all the time that clerks
Speaker 2: changed their life. Do they Yes? But I have a
Speaker 2: friend of mine recently said it.
Speaker 1: Somebody said it to you that you like as opposed
Speaker 1: to some rando. It's just like your dad's movie changed
Speaker 1: my life. You're like, fucking know he also getting short
Speaker 1: broken hair. So you're saying somebody in your life that
Speaker 1: you couldn't just be like, that's nice and I'll go away.
Speaker 1: Told you and you had to sit there and deal
Speaker 1: with the fact that your father was influential and beloved.
Speaker 2: Wow, that hurts.
Speaker 1: That sucks. When I was a kid, people come up
Speaker 1: to me and be like, your dad.
Speaker 2: I love his work.
Speaker 1: Post posts at the office, bitch, did he posts up
Speaker 1: posts up? I'm like, yeah, everyone loves him. Anyway. Have
Speaker 1: you seen my art anyways?
Speaker 2: Have you heard my song?
Speaker 1: So? Who fucking who said? What? Who was it? Well
Speaker 1: we won't say who was confidential? Confidential? So what did
Speaker 1: they say? How did it come up? I'm just out
Speaker 1: of nowhere Middle Sex? Was it wasn't Austin? You know
Speaker 1: what really me? Right now? You're like, well, that of course,
Speaker 1: But I was just thinking about your dad.
Speaker 2: I was just thinking of clerks changed my life.
Speaker 1: Bringing up that's no moment. Don't use me as a weapon, moment,
Speaker 1: stop using me. Web not so cute.
Speaker 2: Every night most sleeps in between Austin and I heads
Speaker 2: and I used him as a pillow.
Speaker 1: When I was When you were a kid, I distinctly
Speaker 1: remember you sang to me, don't use me as a
Speaker 1: weapon against mom, and I said I have to, and
Speaker 1: I hurled you at mother.
Speaker 2: For a second, I was like, damn, did I really No?
Speaker 1: No, that's something you say now because you're approaching your thirties,
Speaker 1: You're like, you really weaponized me against mom? Like what? No?
Speaker 2: I was always on your side, Like I've blocked out
Speaker 2: a lot. Did I block that out?
Speaker 1: People do that and divorced though they weaponize the children
Speaker 1: against each other. That's why we stayed together. I won't
Speaker 1: be choice for everybody.
Speaker 2: Oh god, oh lord.
Speaker 1: Anyways, please, there are people just listening to the show.
Speaker 1: I think I tripped onto something. You're all jokes kids
Speaker 1: the Therapy podcast.
Speaker 2: For those of you listening to the regular show.
Speaker 1: It's all fun and jokes, all fun and.
Speaker 2: Games, unless you want to go to the stus.
Speaker 1: We get fun of games. Now that I've fucking bragged
Speaker 1: about how cool my life is and ship not to
Speaker 1: say that I don't lose. I do lose on a
Speaker 1: regular basis. For example, the movie we were talking about
Speaker 1: making looks like it just fell apart.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, and sorry.
Speaker 1: It is not disconnected from the tariff troubles. Our money
Speaker 1: was Canadian. How interested do you think Canadian money isn't
Speaker 1: in doing anything American? Right now?
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so I can't bitch because and this is
Speaker 1: not me complaining. Hopefully nobody goes like, comes with Ryan,
Speaker 1: Does this sound like a rant?
Speaker 2: Do I sound He's too calm for a rant?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe me. I ain't upset, and I fucking
Speaker 1: get it. And also like I'm at an age now
Speaker 1: where it's like I can't get upset up a movie
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen. I'm more amazed than a a movie
Speaker 1: ever happens, you know what I'm saying. Like in moments
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh man, that finance it fell apart,
Speaker 1: I don't get like, oh what I want Instantly I
Speaker 1: go like, well, this is your fault because if you
Speaker 1: were more successful, you'd have more money. Then you could
Speaker 1: do whatever you want to and never go out and
Speaker 1: ask somebody else for money. So in lieu of that,
Speaker 1: just accept what happens. Whatever will be will be your
Speaker 1: doors day. This shit case, aras Arah, you never saw
Speaker 1: the movie The Man who Knew too Much starring James
Speaker 1: Stewart and Doris Day.
Speaker 2: How do you know I didn't bet you a thousands.
Speaker 1: Because otherwise you would have cut me off knowing exactly
Speaker 1: where this is going the third act. Doristday, of course,
Speaker 1: was a singer in midst of it. For her to
Speaker 1: be in this Hitchcock movie and not Grace Kelly and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, like you'd be like, why well, because
Speaker 1: the part requires big lungs. In the third act, in
Speaker 1: The Man who Knew too Much, their son gets kidnapped.
Speaker 1: They're abroad, and how they locate the kid, or how
Speaker 1: the kid locates them is Throughout the beginning of the movie,
Speaker 1: she sings the song Kasa with her kid k Sara.
Speaker 1: You know it was in I was gonna say it
Speaker 1: was in Heathers, but I don't even know if you're
Speaker 1: familiar with others, what the fuck of course are I'm
Speaker 1: happy then, I raised you're right. So before that I
Speaker 1: got ka popularized in for my generation at the beginning
Speaker 1: of Heathers, and I'm sure it's been used other places,
Speaker 1: but first movie it choosed in is The Man who
Speaker 1: Knew Too Much. So she's singing with her son in
Speaker 1: the beginning, and then in the third act, the kid
Speaker 1: is kidnapped and somewhere being held in the building, but
Speaker 1: in order to find him, she's belting out k sasa
Speaker 1: at the top for fucking lungs. So she's like da
Speaker 1: and like her son is like, mom, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying?
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: That's the third act. Hinges on Doris day over singing caseas.
Speaker 2: The guy who commented and was like can he stop
Speaker 2: yelling is going to.
Speaker 1: Be like, why do you got a case sas onto
Speaker 1: my ear?
Speaker 2: But that guy did change his review from a two
Speaker 2: star to a four star, so I see you, well done,
Speaker 2: I see you. Yeah, thanks for the support, buddy.
Speaker 1: Look at you? Do you know his name? How do
Speaker 1: you know it's a guy? Maybe it's in Virginia. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe it's our one lister. My sister stop scream. But
Speaker 1: then when we tailor it to her, she's like, you
Speaker 1: get two more stars. I bought a thing on ebaby okay,
Speaker 1: and now you know, I guess like some people, you
Speaker 1: buy a thing and then you leave good feedback like
Speaker 1: this worked out or whatever?
Speaker 2: The fuck?
Speaker 1: I don't you know, don't I'm not again? I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess I ebaye now a lot more than I
Speaker 1: ever did, and shit, but like I don't know the
Speaker 1: protocols and ship. And also it's like, do you know
Speaker 1: what the good review is? I give you money, Like
Speaker 1: that's what the money's for. That's the best review in
Speaker 1: the world. There's been a guy in my messages who's like,
Speaker 1: please leave me feedback, Please leave me feedback. Please leave
Speaker 1: me feedback. It helps the seller. If you leave feedback,
Speaker 1: it hurts the seller. If you don't leave feedback, Please
Speaker 1: leave me feedback. Please leave me feedback. Please leave me feedback.
Speaker 2: That's me to our listeners, please yu.
Speaker 1: Finally I responded to this guy where I was.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, now, oh, you don't know.
Speaker 1: How I looked all over the place for this fucking
Speaker 1: mystical feedback butt he's talking about, and ship con't find it.
Speaker 1: So I said, send me a screenshot of where it is.
Speaker 1: But what I'm gonna do now is I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm going to turn the tables and just start like
Speaker 1: making him teach me how to use Facebook.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you mean ebit, Yeah.
Speaker 1: EBay, sorry, because I also do Facebook Marketplace, of course,
Speaker 1: but in their transactions, the moment you're dealing with this
Speaker 1: rate me thing comes up where it's just like you
Speaker 1: know right away you're getting feedback, even for the transactions
Speaker 1: over eBay, I guess is differently good. You gotta wait
Speaker 1: till you get your thing. So now I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: hammer him with questions like why do good things happen
Speaker 1: to bad people? I'm just wanting can God make a
Speaker 1: boulder so heavy he can't lift it?
Speaker 2: Such vallid questions.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it to make them work for that feedback,
Speaker 1: because then when I leave the feedback, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: like product was great, ship, it was okay. But this
Speaker 1: motherfucker has the patience of a saint, and he taught
Speaker 1: me a lot of things.
Speaker 2: Oh he has some answers for you.
Speaker 1: He doesn't. None of these people do.
Speaker 2: WHOA.
Speaker 1: I've been out there trying to find answers. Nobody got
Speaker 1: the answer. There's only one answer that I figured out
Speaker 1: for myself.
Speaker 2: What Well.
Speaker 1: When I was a kid, we'd say Jesus, But now
Speaker 1: I say Bullwinkle.
Speaker 2: Amen makes me happy? Picks your hat again?
Speaker 1: God? And I was fucking I know I got I'll
Speaker 1: do it when the cameras are off. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: it now. I spent my life in a fucking hat
Speaker 1: and ship you think I'm gonna take it off now
Speaker 1: in front of these foul folks. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: that's gonna be a live pay per view event. We're
Speaker 1: gonna sell tickets for it, and it's gonna make five
Speaker 1: million dollars, and it's gonna be short and people are
Speaker 1: gonna love it. He took yeah because basically, like you're
Speaker 1: in Turn On, it's gonna be over in five minutes.
Speaker 1: Me cheap. It's like a two dollars pay per view.
Speaker 1: But who ain't gonna tune in for that? They're like,
Speaker 1: what did he really never take his hat off? Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I've seen I used to watch Comicbook Man.
Speaker 1: He never wore hat on that show. But if you
Speaker 1: sell it with a certain angle, I.
Speaker 2: Think you had a point. You should see this man
Speaker 2: go through an airport security because he has to take
Speaker 2: off his hat.
Speaker 1: You sometimes not all the time.
Speaker 2: But then you'll hold your head so no one can
Speaker 2: see your head.
Speaker 1: I do. I mean, I don't know how people with
Speaker 1: hat haad normally do it. But like once you take
Speaker 1: your hat off and your hat stupid, like your hair
Speaker 1: looks stupid the fuck.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like, can you please take
Speaker 2: off your hat? And you're like, I'm like.
Speaker 1: No, I'm traveling. And also it's like I'm TSA pre proved, like.
Speaker 2: That means I can wear my fucking hat.
Speaker 1: That means I'm an American. But I did say like
Speaker 1: they put me through a program where like they're like
Speaker 1: this guy checks out. I mean, I'm sure these programs
Speaker 1: will probably be fucking killed over the course of the
Speaker 1: next four years. But DSA pre program is pretty fucking good.
Speaker 1: And also they make money off of it, Like they
Speaker 1: ain't free. It's not like sign up for free. It's
Speaker 1: like you gotta pay.
Speaker 2: You gotta pay for it.
Speaker 1: And those TSA pre lines are now more full than
Speaker 1: not the standard lines. Those lines are still pretty dampful,
Speaker 1: but like if you fly some airlines has like United First,
Speaker 1: so they have their own lane. Those lanes are like empty,
Speaker 1: whereas TSA pree is very full. This is coming from
Speaker 1: somebody who travels an awful lot.
Speaker 2: I have a question, fire.
Speaker 1: Away, I'm here for answers, have been since the day
Speaker 1: you were born.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I'm so glad you know the day.
Speaker 1: Well, I wonder preempting quiz that I'm sure I'm going
Speaker 1: to be asked at one point, what was born?
Speaker 2: What color are my eyes?
Speaker 1: Brown?
Speaker 2: Nice? How much do you I was? I was looking
Speaker 2: it up.
Speaker 1: I'm curious, Oh, looking it up?
Speaker 2: Looking it up?
Speaker 1: Said it real fast. So I thought you. I thought
Speaker 1: you literally sounded like you were like I was licking
Speaker 1: it up. What what are we talking about? What?
Speaker 2: Looking it up? Because I was curious how much flights
Speaker 2: are from here to Japan? What do you think the
Speaker 2: cost is?
Speaker 1: How much do you think of a father's love? Because
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't have money right now? And Americans
Speaker 1: aren't really talking about Americans are welcome abroad at this.
Speaker 2: A few months down the line, maybe see.
Speaker 1: Some fucking cat cafe or some says ship Cat Island
Speaker 1: or bunny Land. It's a catter bunny reason.
Speaker 2: Maybe there is a bunny Island, but more importantly, there
Speaker 2: is Disneyland.
Speaker 1: I would actually, you know, honestly, like, I mean, this
Speaker 1: is gonna sound now. We sound like those rich people
Speaker 1: in the twenties that would have a morning radio show.
Speaker 1: They'd be like, oh, we went to the opera last
Speaker 1: night and this sounds first world, but I would. I
Speaker 1: just saw a video recently of fucking the Winnie the
Speaker 1: Pooh ride in Tokyo.
Speaker 2: Yeah you saw video though.
Speaker 1: Fucking nuts, and you didn't hit me up because I
Speaker 1: assumed you as a Disney fan. Well, but they taught
Speaker 1: me something I didn't know inas much as like you
Speaker 1: look at it and you're like, wow, this is a
Speaker 1: it's a dark ride where it's autonomous, so it's kind
Speaker 1: of like the Mickey Run Nothing Now awesome. It's like
Speaker 1: that where the cars aren't on a track, they just
Speaker 1: kind of you know, drone around or whatever. The fuck.
Speaker 1: So you're like, oh, this must have been made after
Speaker 1: your Disney put in their Winnie the Pooh ride, because
Speaker 1: the Winnie the Pooh Ride is cute, but it's very
Speaker 1: like not animatronic figures, just statues that move up and
Speaker 1: down and you know, twist and ship like that. But
Speaker 1: you look at this fucking Winnie the Pooh ride in Tokyo,
Speaker 1: who's like moving his mouth and fucking like ying his
Speaker 1: shoes like toll on pants. He's They've made me so
Speaker 1: so articulate, I can finally pull on pants. It is crazy.
Speaker 1: And then they showed like rabbit being blown away on
Speaker 1: the blustery day, and every part of them is moving.
Speaker 2: It's amazing.
Speaker 1: So I saw our video and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: normally I'm not I'm not. I don't like to travel,
Speaker 1: but I'm forced to for work. But I was like, well,
Speaker 1: that's the reason to go back to Japan. Bro.
Speaker 2: You haven't even seen nothing yet. They have. They have
Speaker 2: Tokyo Disney C, which is a whole other theme park
Speaker 2: like Disney California Adventures.
Speaker 1: C Sea, so it's underwater, it's.
Speaker 2: Under surrounded by water. They have a Journey to the
Speaker 2: Center of the Earth ride which you go through like
Speaker 2: a volcano. It's amazing. They have a whole like Little
Speaker 2: Mermaid experience.
Speaker 1: Why don't we have any of this here in America?
Speaker 2: I asked myself that all the time.
Speaker 1: Wow, I mean, so should we go? I would yes.
Speaker 1: The short answer is yes. They also have a long
Speaker 1: answer is not for a while.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. I guess how much a first class ticket
Speaker 2: is did.
Speaker 1: Japan first class? Yes?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, no, that's it's less than that. But
Speaker 2: how much it's like eight thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Round trip a round trip. Because I have seen plane
Speaker 1: tickets like I remember when they flew us to like
Speaker 1: can back in the day, and like tickets were very expensive.
Speaker 2: I haven't left the country in a minute, and it's
Speaker 2: now that's I gotta go.
Speaker 1: Well, yes and no, like there used to be like, well,
Speaker 1: let me just go to Canada right now. The American
Speaker 1: profile and not too high in Canada either.
Speaker 2: I get it. And that's fair. Yeah, and that's fair.
Speaker 1: I think you have to read about these places for
Speaker 1: a while until until uh, cooler heads prevailable. I don't
Speaker 1: know how to put it, but put.
Speaker 2: The San Rio theme Park.
Speaker 1: Also they also have that. Yeah, and there's a bunny Island.
Speaker 2: Yes, there's all these amazing things just waiting for me
Speaker 2: over there.
Speaker 1: I just got.
Speaker 2: I just got.
Speaker 1: Also, so what.
Speaker 2: What's oh?
Speaker 1: Tell me no work for it? Yes, you can't. Just
Speaker 1: your generation just expects the answers to be handed.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be wrong.
Speaker 1: You know the problem is your generation never had to think,
Speaker 1: because you could always be like godzilla.
Speaker 2: Hey, that came straight out my head.
Speaker 1: It did. I was impressed. I was sitting there going
Speaker 1: like and naturally I turned it into a compliment to myself,
Speaker 1: where I was like, I'm a good dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's throw a stupid generation.
Speaker 1: Fucking dumb generation. But still my kid's brighter than that.
Speaker 1: Let's just stop for a second to appreciate and point
Speaker 1: out because we have a good time on the show.
Speaker 1: But like this is serious. That fix for the Rocky
Speaker 1: check piece of art is brilliant.
Speaker 2: I'm happy for you.
Speaker 1: And it's not even like only a rich man could
Speaker 1: do that. You could. All you have to do is
Speaker 1: find an animator, find somebody who can paint on a cell.
Speaker 2: That is true, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Very smart if you're not about the antiquity of it all,
Speaker 1: and if you're not mass producing it. Again, I ain't
Speaker 1: making this to go fucking selling street corners. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be hanging up in my fucking house with a Clerks
Speaker 1: check in it, like the check I sent to Sundance.
Speaker 1: Rocky the Flying Squirrel is going to be holding the Sundance.
Speaker 4: Mind blow right, That's like that is like fucking His
Speaker 4: name is Milton Hershey, and he will put a check
Speaker 4: in the hands of Rocky the Flying Squirrel.
Speaker 1: But for now he's said that he lost the eBay
Speaker 1: auction because I.
Speaker 2: Really was you were you were really bombed.
Speaker 1: Which could be a good sign I'm trying to fucking
Speaker 1: figure this out. Could be a good sign that all,
Speaker 1: obviously all is not right in the world, but things
Speaker 1: are okay enough in my world where my biggest concern
Speaker 1: wasn't like I've lost a loved one to a fire
Speaker 1: or oh my god, there's an asteroid hurtling at us.
Speaker 1: I was like, I lost that fucking auction.
Speaker 2: Your life's pretty fire, pretty good, not bad.
Speaker 1: I should shut up and just enjoy it. That's why
Speaker 1: I don't go online and say anything, because then people
Speaker 1: be like, your fucking life is good, and they're not wrong.
Speaker 2: I mean, your life is pretty it is pretty fantastic.
Speaker 2: Look at you, Look at you.
Speaker 1: This is what they do on the fucking show On
Speaker 1: the Food That Built America. They'll you know, his name
Speaker 1: is Robert Kraft, and he's gonna invent the fucking cheese
Speaker 1: that makes us all that. So he'll say something and
Speaker 1: be like, perhaps cheese, and then the actors to stand
Speaker 1: there for a good fifteen to thirty seconds, just as
Speaker 1: the camera pans around him or Dolly's back and forth,
Speaker 1: because Campbell Scott, the narrator, is gonna be fucking saying
Speaker 1: like his name is Robert Kraft, and he will build
Speaker 1: a all this shit over him. But the job in
Speaker 1: this instance is to say a line and then act,
Speaker 1: but don't say anything, just stand there and act.
Speaker 2: Wow. That's that's tough.
Speaker 1: That's that's its own unique fucking skill set, like the
Speaker 1: same way people like Broadway actors, you know, act on Broadway,
Speaker 1: like acting for the movies and ship like that, acting
Speaker 1: for the for the that Built series. That's the term
Speaker 1: of art I found out yesterday. It's called the that
Speaker 1: build a verse. Oh acted that kind of actor as
Speaker 1: my utmost fucking respect right now? Oh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I could be that guy. But I'm in SAG, which
Speaker 1: is weird because I don't talk in movies.
Speaker 2: Mm hm oh yeah. So you couldn't do it well,
Speaker 2: but you were still involved. You still got to do it. Wait, also,
Speaker 2: what I.
Speaker 1: Got to do it? I got to be interviewed as me,
Speaker 1: but I talked about I want to be on camera.
Speaker 1: I want to play Milton hershey his name is because
Speaker 1: I could do this ship.
Speaker 2: I would love to see how it read. Oh please,
Speaker 2: I'd love to see it.
Speaker 1: I could be like an old timey Titan. That was
Speaker 1: another one the Titans that built America. His name was
Speaker 1: Pierre DuPont. Do you know what he did? No, created
Speaker 1: General Motors, also created a lot of fucking armaments for
Speaker 1: World War One, and then after war he was basically
Speaker 1: Tony Stark, like, he creates weaponry for World War One,
Speaker 1: that's how it gets rich. And then after the war
Speaker 1: he's like, all right, never doing that again, man, profiting
Speaker 1: on human misery, No fucking way. And he creates General
Speaker 1: Motors and shit. But then World War two breaks out
Speaker 1: in FDR is like, I need you to build fucking
Speaker 1: war machines and shit like that. I need everybody to
Speaker 1: do what they were good at and shit, and people
Speaker 1: that owned factories weren't. Like the government took him over
Speaker 1: and just like this is needed for the war effort.
Speaker 1: We're building planes here, now we're building parachutes and all
Speaker 1: this shit. So this motherfucker. They were clever motherfuckers like Milton.
Speaker 1: His name was Milton Hershey. Milton Hershey goes to the
Speaker 1: government because the government's like, we got to take all
Speaker 1: this over, you know, to build whatever the fuck for
Speaker 1: the war effort. Milton Hershey's like, you know what you
Speaker 1: want to put in the ration kits for all the
Speaker 1: soldiers travels well, doesn't spoil our Hershey Bars. And so
Speaker 1: the US government goes, oh, all right, yeah, he's got
Speaker 1: a point. So number one, they have a government contract
Speaker 1: for buying all these hrshey Bars that are going into
Speaker 1: kits that are going over seasonship. But he doesn't have
Speaker 1: to shut down his fucking plan. So all throughout the
Speaker 1: war he's still megan chocolate, fucking chocolate. And when you
Speaker 1: come back from World War Two and you survived, you
Speaker 1: were like, we were fighting fucking Nazis, Like we were
Speaker 1: fighting the ultimate fucking evil. On every day, I could
Speaker 1: have been fucking killed, and the only joy in my
Speaker 1: bleak world was opening up my ration kit and eating
Speaker 1: that Hershey bar or eating a bag of M and ms. Yes,
Speaker 1: Eminem's existed during World War two, and Mars, the Mars
Speaker 1: Company did the same thing Hershey did. They were like, well,
Speaker 1: you don't want to shut us down because Eminem's travel
Speaker 1: real well, and we could put them in packs and
Speaker 1: they can go over seats. It's a cheap form of
Speaker 1: energy while you're in the field, and show like that.
Speaker 1: So when you come back from World War two and
Speaker 1: you've survived and you've defeated the fucking Nazis, the most horrible,
Speaker 1: fucking human beings that ever existed. Good triumps over fucking evil.
Speaker 1: Your memories of being alive are tied to things like
Speaker 1: what you had on you when you almost died. My
Speaker 1: friend had his head blown off right next to me.
Speaker 1: We were sharing a hershey Bar together. You come home
Speaker 1: with that, not just the fight, Like hershey Bar doesn't
Speaker 1: just taste good to you. It tastes like fucking freedom.
Speaker 1: It tastes like everything you fucking fought for. So you
Speaker 1: come home and like you are brand loyal forever, like
Speaker 1: I love hershey Bars, and your kids eat hershey Bars,
Speaker 1: and then fucking you know people you're talking to people about,
Speaker 1: Oh I love hershey Bars. People like hershey Bar. I
Speaker 1: haven't thought about it in a while. And after World
Speaker 1: War Two, sales explode on everything that soldiers took over
Speaker 1: and had in their mess kids or had in their
Speaker 1: their provisions during the war. So many industries are built
Speaker 1: on the back of World War Two, and there's like
Speaker 1: innovations and science and ship like it's it's incredible. Damn
Speaker 1: I know you didn't.
Speaker 2: She got real real fast, you know.
Speaker 1: But it's like, right, now it's just easier to watch
Speaker 1: ship about what used to happen in America. Don't you
Speaker 1: have a quiz? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you were in Austin's dream last night.
Speaker 1: Why do you want to know? I do? Did he
Speaker 1: wake you up?
Speaker 2: Yeah? He was like Harley, Harley, yeah, Harley Hi, he
Speaker 2: snor is so crazy. Yeah, he snorts through his mouth
Speaker 2: and he's crazy and he's like literally like that and
Speaker 2: it's crazy. And I'm always trying to film it because
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, you don't understand. But yeah, you were
Speaker 2: in his dream last night. He asked me to tell you.
Speaker 1: Did you say what happened?
Speaker 2: Yeah? The current president. This is why I didn't want
Speaker 2: to bring it up, because I don't want to bring
Speaker 2: off this man. The current president was running for a
Speaker 2: third term, and you were like, I, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to have it. So you decided to run for president
Speaker 2: and you beat him, and you.
Speaker 1: Were Austin's dreams. I ran for president and beat Donald Trump. Yes,
Speaker 1: to stop the third term.
Speaker 2: That's what's in Austin's deep subconscious mind.
Speaker 1: I think I could pull that off.
Speaker 2: But then I was thinking, and I was like, if
Speaker 2: you were president, I want I think things would be
Speaker 2: going pretty well.
Speaker 1: That's smart enough to be president. But I think I
Speaker 1: would try smart people, and I would hire very smart
Speaker 1: people and show like that.
Speaker 2: I think you don't give yourself enough credit.
Speaker 1: For what I think I give myself too much credit.
Speaker 1: I think I'm living off this clerkship for a long time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you downplay how how knowledgeable you are about
Speaker 2: like government and politics and stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't downplay as much as I'm just not that interested.
Speaker 1: Now I have to pay more attention than I ever
Speaker 1: did historically, a lot.
Speaker 2: You know, a lot, And I do think you could
Speaker 2: be president. No way, no way man as in his
Speaker 2: deep subconscious.
Speaker 1: So weird to think that, like at his most vulnerable.
Speaker 2: You are the president.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm living rent free and even in his dreams
Speaker 1: and ship.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that communicates whether I was a
Speaker 1: good or bad director, you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 1: I'm sure you know Shelley Duvall fucking drama about Stanley Kubrick,
Speaker 1: but not in a positive way, like oh my god,
Speaker 1: I dreamt I was still making the Shining.
Speaker 2: So sad.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why Austin woke up. Andy's like, I'm not
Speaker 1: rightan David. Oh, thank god he got it. So it's
Speaker 1: just another dream.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you just have. You've had a big impact.
Speaker 1: On it on Austin. Yeah, I would say, so I
Speaker 1: had a daughter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had a daughter.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, and then he had her. But
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But regardless, yeah you had.
Speaker 2: You had a very big impact on him, even.
Speaker 1: Before you start talking about like and action.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah you're my dad.
Speaker 1: I am you are Wait a second, I am your dad.
Speaker 2: Thank god he's not the one that was like Clerks
Speaker 2: really changed my life?
Speaker 1: What did you say when the person said that? And
Speaker 1: again when a stranger says it fine, but like, this
Speaker 1: is somebody who's in your life you have to see
Speaker 1: on a regular basis.
Speaker 2: Somebody in my life says that it's different because I'm like, oh, fuck,
Speaker 2: really you too?
Speaker 1: You like not you too? And what is the about?
Speaker 2: It just makes me very distrusting, Like, oh, you're not
Speaker 2: in my life for the right reasons?
Speaker 1: Is that right?
Speaker 2: You're in my life to get to someone else? Can
Speaker 2: because that has happened anytime.
Speaker 1: Like co exist and not necessarily add up to that equation.
Speaker 1: Can't somebody like you? But then also like what I've
Speaker 1: done without that being That's the thing.
Speaker 2: Though, is how do I know? It makes me distrusting?
Speaker 2: So how how can I trust? How can I trust
Speaker 2: that you are genuinely there for me?
Speaker 1: You have you people?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Are you talking about that at these people?
Speaker 2: These people?
Speaker 1: How do I know?
Speaker 2: How do I know? How am I supposed to know?
Speaker 1: Saying it like Whitney? How do I know?
Speaker 2: How do I know?
Speaker 1: If you gotta keep going think of me. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to phone to Shuck. Can't be falling in love? Soup
Speaker 1: bit sweet? I'm asking you if you know about I
Speaker 1: can't believe I know this many lyrics to that song.
Speaker 1: I can because I'm a Whitney houstonologist. Yes, I know
Speaker 1: a lot more about when she's from New Jersey.
Speaker 2: Well, there you go.
Speaker 1: We look out for our own. We're both part of
Speaker 1: the New Jersey Hall of Fame, which you were born
Speaker 1: in New Jersey, so technically you could also become part
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, could.
Speaker 1: You imagine like we're inducting you because of that song
Speaker 1: you sang star Hey?
Speaker 2: Why is that such a crazy notion? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, if this was happening in the future, perhaps yes,
Speaker 1: But like, if it was happening today, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: you should be suspicious of that.
Speaker 2: Really, Oh, they're going to be like, we're going to
Speaker 2: induct you into the Hall of Fame because your dad.
Speaker 1: Made Can you get your dad.
Speaker 2: A really big impass?
Speaker 1: So what if it's somebody like what about Austin? So
Speaker 1: what if Austin's like your dads were cool?
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, Austin didn't know. I wasn't familiar with
Speaker 2: your work before, Right, it makes him safe. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: now of course he's seen stuff and he and he
Speaker 2: loves it. But he when I met him, he wasn't like.
Speaker 1: What you're saying is he was an idiot. Now he
Speaker 1: has common sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a little outside our demographic.
Speaker 2: In the same night, this guy also brought up Dogma.
Speaker 1: The guy going back to the guy who said I
Speaker 1: like your dad, yes, brought up Dogma. Yes coming soon.
Speaker 2: That's what I said, because him and nobody.
Speaker 1: Knows what what did he? What did this person say
Speaker 1: about the.
Speaker 2: That also had a really big impact this person age.
Speaker 1: Why why would you know? I guess like I like
Speaker 1: rock and bowl Winkle and that pre exists me.
Speaker 2: This person started written a college paper on tusk.
Speaker 1: I made all three of those movies.
Speaker 2: You had a big impact on this man.
Speaker 1: Wow, ok ay, and so did this. This wasn't like
Speaker 1: this is something that didn't out until later orred you
Speaker 1: tell you on day one.
Speaker 2: He told me on day one about about the Tusk paper.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh my god, that's your dad. I wrote
Speaker 1: a paper on tusk.
Speaker 2: He knew that it was just bad, but.
Speaker 1: Never went further, like fucking clerks.
Speaker 2: Never never dropped the clerk exchange my life because I
Speaker 2: get in mind. No, I think I I think I
Speaker 2: actually said get in line because because uh, the amount
Speaker 2: of people who have said clerk change their life. You're
Speaker 2: you're just lining up, buddy, you hold my beard. I
Speaker 2: was going to say, just hold my beer.
Speaker 4: Guy.
Speaker 1: For I love hearing it naturally.
Speaker 2: I mean, I love hearing it from other people that
Speaker 2: you've made like a huge impact on them. But when
Speaker 2: I'm like with a close friend, I'm not expecting it
Speaker 2: from I'm like, oh, okay, he's.
Speaker 1: Like, your father also had a huge impact on me.
Speaker 2: Like fuck, When other people.
Speaker 1: Say, does it change the dynamic of the relationship going further,
Speaker 1: going forward.
Speaker 2: I did ask, do.
Speaker 1: You not come around anymore? Please?
Speaker 2: I did ask, do you only like me? Because my
Speaker 2: dad serious?
Speaker 1: You put it on Front Street?
Speaker 2: I did put it on Front Street, and he of
Speaker 2: course said no, But also was he gonna say?
Speaker 1: I remember? That is an awkward conversation I have because
Speaker 1: I always used to have that conversation with my friends
Speaker 1: in high school? Are you friends with me because of
Speaker 1: my dad?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, we want the mail to come a
Speaker 1: lot fucking fast.
Speaker 2: You're joking, budd, It's real, It's it's uh, it's weird.
Speaker 2: I've lost friends because I found out they were just
Speaker 2: using me.
Speaker 1: To get to me.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. Kevin Smith one bitch in particular.
Speaker 1: You know who? Why on earth do you think that
Speaker 1: people see me as a conduit to success. I'm the
Speaker 1: other guy. I'm where you go when your career is
Speaker 1: winding down.
Speaker 2: That is not true. Oh yeah, that is not true.
Speaker 1: You know you're on your way, like I stop. Who
Speaker 1: did I meet with when we were putting the movie together,
Speaker 1: when we thought we were making it until fucking it
Speaker 1: all fell apart? I met with an actor and this
Speaker 1: actor has been in a bunch of things. Young actor
Speaker 1: like maybe older than you, but way younger than me,
Speaker 1: and a lot of mainstream franchises in a very popular
Speaker 1: streaming show and stuff. And one of the first things
Speaker 1: out of my mouth was it's like, why are you
Speaker 1: being punished? And she and the actor was like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? And I was like, why you're doing
Speaker 1: good in your career? Why did they send you to
Speaker 1: meet me? Like I'm who you meet on your way
Speaker 1: out the door.
Speaker 2: You gotta not feel that way about yourself. But it
Speaker 2: takes me sad. It makes me.
Speaker 1: Sad one's place and that's not.
Speaker 2: Your place, And it makes me sad that you think
Speaker 2: that not me.
Speaker 1: Keeps me humble. Yeah, but it's like never getting rich,
Speaker 1: like having enough money to be comfortable and ship. But
Speaker 1: I never got rich, so I always had to keep
Speaker 1: like working. Like you know, people are like, man, he's
Speaker 1: fucking full of himself. He worked. He looks to do
Speaker 1: a lot of things literally, because I fucking live hand
Speaker 1: in mouth. Every time you see me doing a thing.
Speaker 1: It's not like there's always a check attached to it.
Speaker 1: But I do so many things because I don't have
Speaker 1: a job job, and I'm not fucking independently wealthy and
Speaker 1: fucking you know, a lot of people assume that, like, hey, me,
Speaker 1: you sold clerks, like yeah, fucking thirty one years ago
Speaker 1: and for like two hundred thousand dollars, Like it's not
Speaker 1: like fucking you know, oh my god, he's set for
Speaker 1: life and shit like that. So I work like I
Speaker 1: have to work all the time. That's why I'm always
Speaker 1: kind of fucking out there. And shit, why am I
Speaker 1: saying this? How did this come up?
Speaker 2: Because you were being self deprecating?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, so because I'm always fucking working. I know
Speaker 1: what my value is and stuff like, and I've got
Speaker 1: no problem with that. And the older I get, the
Speaker 1: fucking less attractive my brand is right Like, fucking I
Speaker 1: age out and hopefully the audience stays with me for
Speaker 1: the rest of the ride. But if they don't, it's
Speaker 1: been a really fucking fantastic run until then.
Speaker 2: This is getting very sad. This is making me very upset.
Speaker 2: Why Because I wish that you saw yourself the way
Speaker 2: that so many other people do.
Speaker 1: I think that I'm trying to you know, I've been
Speaker 1: analyzing over and over why Rocky and Bullwinkle now and
Speaker 1: or again because I was into Rocky and Bullwinkle when
Speaker 1: I was younger. I think it might have something to
Speaker 1: do with like watching or looking at something that I
Speaker 1: can identify with, Like I never made a cartoon as
Speaker 1: brilliant as Rocky and bowl Winkle and Ship, but like
Speaker 1: Jay Ward, I've had my own thing going on so
Speaker 1: much so that you know, not only did I make
Speaker 1: a thing, but I got a store that's centered around
Speaker 1: fake characters from that thing, just like fucking the Dudley
Speaker 1: do Rite Emporium and stuff, and you know, recently in
Speaker 1: my you know, kind of reconnecting with Rocky and bowl Winkle,
Speaker 1: like I've now had time to look at what I've missed.
Speaker 1: And the closing of the Dudley do Rite Emporium, I
Speaker 1: saw it as I was driving by. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's closed. But you know, if I
Speaker 1: was like an active fan at that point, like I
Speaker 1: would have went in and bought fucking everything and shit.
Speaker 1: So I'm doing a lot of like reading online about
Speaker 1: the last days and fucking people putting up like oh,
Speaker 1: I went, these are the pictures I took and shit
Speaker 1: like that, And I think I think it's important that
Speaker 1: I see how things and like at one point, jay
Speaker 1: Ward Productions shut down Sunset Boulevard nineteen sixty one to
Speaker 1: put up that statue. They had a bullwinkled day fair,
Speaker 1: closed down five streets, including right on Sunset and you
Speaker 1: know you fucking there's band plane and shit like that,
Speaker 1: all to put up this statue. Nobody knows that anymore
Speaker 1: except me and a handful of people, and shit that
Speaker 1: doesn't matter anymore. Like that statue still exists. You can
Speaker 1: drive past the bow Winkle statue. It's moved locations. But
Speaker 1: like jay Ward and all his friends like stomped on
Speaker 1: the terror and they had their time, and then that
Speaker 1: time ends. And so I think it's important for me
Speaker 1: to look at this shit because I'm like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: one day. That's me, Like one day the stash will close.
Speaker 1: Like it's amazing we've been open for as long as
Speaker 1: we've been open. I think we're year twenty eight now,
Speaker 1: and there's a part of me that desperately wants to
Speaker 1: make it another nine years so we can get to
Speaker 1: thirty seven, because what a great punchline that will be.
Speaker 1: But only while I'm alive, because when I'm dead, ain't
Speaker 1: nobody gonna remember, Like fucking they were open for thirty
Speaker 1: seven years. People who would care about that information will
Speaker 1: also die like me, So seeing what happens to something
Speaker 1: that was way more popular than I ever was, like
Speaker 1: all that shit was main fucking stream. They were on NBC, ABC,
Speaker 1: fucking Bowl and Glader goddamn balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: Day parade. But all things end, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: And so looking at this stuff, and I think it
Speaker 1: has something to do with understand it that. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about my life, but I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: like how many years do I get out of this?
Speaker 1: Like it has been thirty one years, sooner or later
Speaker 1: it ends, it has to maybe I end first, no,
Speaker 1: or maybe it ends, but it stops. And the thing
Speaker 1: that I've spent an inordinate amount of my life doing,
Speaker 1: which is Kevin Smith, Like I go back to doing
Speaker 1: it just because I'm Kevin Smith, not because I can
Speaker 1: make money off of being Kevin Smith. And I think
Speaker 1: it's some form of like the Buddhist you know, being
Speaker 1: a Buddhist is about preparing your entire life to have
Speaker 1: a good depth. That's it. It's basically about preparing for
Speaker 1: the final transition so that when you die, it's calm,
Speaker 1: peaceful and it's not chaotic, and because you're passing into
Speaker 1: you know, another existence, and so forth and so on.
Speaker 1: I think this is a Buddhist version of understanding that
Speaker 1: one day, and I understand every day on a regular basis,
Speaker 1: like it becomes more and more clear that my heyday
Speaker 1: is over, and I'm not like alarmed by that. Like
Speaker 1: I had my moment I stomped on the terror, I
Speaker 1: closed down Sunset Boulevard, so to speak. Many times over
Speaker 1: the course of my career and stuff. You know, fucking
Speaker 1: when we did the Dave's laser signing in the valley
Speaker 1: back in the day, fucking news showed up because thousands
Speaker 1: of people showed to get a Dogma copy signed, and
Speaker 1: the news came in and were like, who are you?
Speaker 1: Like I had all that, all those moments, and they
Speaker 1: were great. But even people like Tom Hanks, who's had
Speaker 1: ten thousand times the amount of moments that I've had,
Speaker 1: at a certain point nobody remembers, like all the people
Speaker 1: who would have given a shit pass and other things
Speaker 1: become far more important than life. And so for the
Speaker 1: longest time, throughout most of my career, I've lived with
Speaker 1: my head up my ass thinking that everybody felt the
Speaker 1: way I felt and that we're all on my journey.
Speaker 1: But I'm just on my journey, and for a while
Speaker 1: it was fucking magical, and I can It's not like
Speaker 1: it's over now, but like I think, part of the
Speaker 1: Rocky and Bowlenkle thing at now, at this point in
Speaker 1: my life, is about understanding that everything has its time
Speaker 1: and I keep it going. I know who I am,
Speaker 1: and I know what I'm capeb love, and I know
Speaker 1: I can fucking you know, fucking hey, there's this Jane's
Speaker 1: Alibab meat Archie book coming out. Fucking interest is up
Speaker 1: a little bit and keep people, keep it alive. But
Speaker 1: you know, it's not like if I ever make another
Speaker 1: one of these is gonna make fucking more money than
Speaker 1: the other ones.
Speaker 2: Did.
Speaker 1: I mean now, the business being what it is like,
Speaker 1: it's amazing anything gets fucking made. So I think it's
Speaker 1: I think it's that. I think it's about growing up.
Speaker 1: I think because my adolescence has been prolonged for thirty years,
Speaker 1: thirty one years, I have entitlements that aren't like, hey man,
Speaker 1: I expect fucking things to be done for me because
Speaker 1: I'm Kevin Smith, but I have entitlements as much as like,
Speaker 1: oh well, this is what I always do, so I
Speaker 1: will keep doing that. Why would I stop? And sometimes
Speaker 1: you don't get the choice. My whole career has been
Speaker 1: about trying to make it so that I get to
Speaker 1: choose when it ends that I go out on my terms.
Speaker 1: That like, nobody could ever stop me from self expressing
Speaker 1: or making my art. But that's a young person's game.
Speaker 1: The older one gets I guess harder to accomplish and stuff.
Speaker 1: So I think if I could really bring everybody down,
Speaker 1: that's why I like Rocky and Bullwinkle. It's teaching me
Speaker 1: how to accept my own demise, both professionally and personally.
Speaker 1: One day, I think that's my Buddhist track. That makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to cry and give you a hug,
Speaker 2: but yeah it's okay.
Speaker 1: But that's the thing. It's like things ending and death
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. Most people are against them, but
Speaker 1: Americans are very particularly against them, because it's like no
Speaker 1: prosperity and we move forward and like bigger and better,
Speaker 1: and that's easy to believe in your youth. And those
Speaker 1: are the tenets by which you live your life, but
Speaker 1: the older you get, the more you realize. Particularly my case,
Speaker 1: and like I've always known I was blessed and fortunate,
Speaker 1: and I never took that for granted, But now even
Speaker 1: more so, I'm like, the fucking chances that any of
Speaker 1: this came to pass are fucking infinitesmal. And yet somehow
Speaker 1: the universe threaded that needle for you could just be
Speaker 1: that professionally speaking, as good as it ever got has
Speaker 1: definitely passed. Now I can ameliorate like a thousand different ways,
Speaker 1: be like but now I do this, now I do this,
Speaker 1: now I do this and stuff. But perhaps it's all
Speaker 1: diminishing returns at a certain point, because you know, people
Speaker 1: are like, well, I mean these people do this. I'd
Speaker 1: much rather watch this, I'd much rather listen to this,
Speaker 1: And I'm okay with that, man, Like I'm not like,
Speaker 1: oh fuck, and I'm not raging at the dying light.
Speaker 1: I'm not like one of these fucking people who are like,
Speaker 1: make it the way it used to be. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I understand like I made something cool happen, and I
Speaker 1: had a lot of fucking help and the universe was
Speaker 1: on my side and everything worked out if I'd done
Speaker 1: a year before a year after, nothing would have happen
Speaker 1: and stuff. And I've been able to make it go
Speaker 1: for three fucking decades. So the day that it stops,
Speaker 1: I think I'm ready to be like, I get it
Speaker 1: so long and thanks for all the fish. I think
Speaker 1: I can make, as the Buddhist say, a good death
Speaker 1: of it, so to speak, both professionally and personally. And
Speaker 1: I think that's the key. So much of our time,
Speaker 1: our subconscious time, is spent worrying about the end. I
Speaker 1: don't worry about it so much anymore.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's a really beautiful self reflection, I think.
Speaker 1: So I do Is it worth writing that with somebody?
Speaker 1: Buy that in a book? See? Isn't that? That's the
Speaker 1: real shame of me is that at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, every original thing that I have now goes
Speaker 1: towards my industry. Like I used to just be a
Speaker 1: person that would have beautiful thoughts and they would just
Speaker 1: be that. But the moment I hear like that's valuable,
Speaker 1: valuable things could be sold, and instantly I think, if
Speaker 1: it's not worth saying out loud unless there's some way
Speaker 1: for me to turn that into a thing.
Speaker 2: That it's pretty interesting. I don't know what to say
Speaker 2: about that one.
Speaker 1: Well, that came from podcasting. Here's the podcasting, Like I
Speaker 1: still do it with you where I'm like, well, don't
Speaker 1: talk that. Wait until where I'm like that does happen.
Speaker 1: The show went a lot of interesting places today. Sure
Speaker 1: you don't want to do your quiz.
Speaker 2: The show went a lot of interesting places.
Speaker 1: It's a very existential show, you know.
Speaker 2: I think I think the quiz can wait. I think
Speaker 2: I think that was I'm very I'm very proud of you.
Speaker 2: I'm very proud of you.
Speaker 1: The show would end and be like, bro, it's a
Speaker 1: comedy show.
Speaker 2: I'm very proud. I'm gonna cry, are you?
Speaker 1: But I can't. And you've got a thing to do
Speaker 1: after this. You gotta learn to schedule this ship differently.
Speaker 1: I go ahead, man, that's how we sell tickets. She's crying.
Speaker 1: Her name was Hartley Quinn Smith, and she was moved
Speaker 1: by her father's reflection.
Speaker 2: It's just I don't know, I'm just I feel like
Speaker 2: you look a lot more in word now than.
Speaker 1: You used to since I went crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like very nice to see you dig that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very touching that makes me happy. Man, I'm
Speaker 1: getting a reaction out of you. A good reaction is
Speaker 1: paramount to me, Like I care about your opinion, Like
Speaker 1: I think you're cool, not just because you're my kid,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, well, she knows what's up and she
Speaker 1: got a good head on her shoulders. So you sang
Speaker 1: that like would have more impact than momily saying it,
Speaker 1: because Momay has to say nice things about me at
Speaker 1: all times. But you sang it. It's like, well you
Speaker 1: don't have to because you're the chick who has to
Speaker 1: deal with people. Were like fucking love clerks, and you're like,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: So for you to be like, amen, you're doing good,
Speaker 2: I'm very proud of you.
Speaker 1: Well, you're one of the smartest people I know, because
Speaker 1: you know you want. You've been in therapy for years,
Speaker 1: so you get it. You understand why. Yah. Yeah, You've
Speaker 1: done the work and continue to do the work and shit,
Speaker 1: so being seen by somebody like you makes a difference.
Speaker 1: So thank you for that, because for a while there
Speaker 1: I was like, Jesus, we should cut all of this out.
Speaker 2: No, it's really it's really beautiful to hear you talk
Speaker 2: that way.
Speaker 1: Thank you. A weepy girl in her dad. That's what
Speaker 1: bears stickless me is.
Speaker 2: It took me so long to do my makeup.
Speaker 1: I was even trying kids before she loses it all.
Speaker 1: We should get out of here. There's a bear the
Speaker 1: stickless me for this week. Man for Beardless stickless Me
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith. We still have to do an after show
Speaker 1: trying to save you. Oh, I'm seeing it. Good thing.
Speaker 1: We got a great shot on you. That's gonna be
Speaker 1: the thumbnail. Oh god, the agony. I don't like people
Speaker 1: tune in. They'll be like, why the fuck is she
Speaker 1: so upset and then they find out like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: because she loves her dad. This world thrives on rage.
Speaker 1: We're not giving them enough rage. Next episode we'll tell
Speaker 1: you about all things piss us off. Yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: can't do it. Nothing really pisses me off that much
Speaker 1: because I can always see like some fucking positive side
Speaker 1: or again, like fucking bitch about things. Don't make things better.
Speaker 1: Just go make art, kids, Go make art, make yourselfs happy,
Speaker 1: but don't make somebody unhappy in the process. Fuck, there
Speaker 1: it is, there's your beardless stickles me, stickles Kevin Smith.
Speaker 1: Shut up. This has been a podcast production some podcast
Speaker 1: podcast using our mouths on you since two thousand and seven.
Speaker 1: Hey kids, did you like what you just heard? Well,
Speaker 1: guess what. We've got tons more, man thousands of hours
Speaker 1: of podcasts waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com.
Speaker 1: Go sign up now,