Host: Welcome to Saint Patrick Catholic Community Podcast. We're glad you're with us.
Deacon Jim: I learned that the trouble with being a father is that you spend years trying to teach your children everything you know, and then they grow up, have children of their own, and suddenly you find out they were listening all along, just not always in the order you intended. I thank God for my seven children. There they are. That was on the occasion of my eightieth birthday. Not my seven children are not all grown and for the joy of seeing five of my seven children now raising families of their own.
I've even been blessed to watch my children become best friends with one another, which tells me God can do some pretty amazing things with a family when we keep trying, keep forgiving, and keep loving. I also have to say it does my heart good that my second oldest, Kevin, followed in my footsteps and became an ordained deacon. That is a grace I never take for granted. From Arizona, I look with love towards my children in Ohio, and I carry them with me in prayers every day. But like many fathers and grandfathers, I also carry a burden.
Not all of my children go to church and not all of my grandchildren are baptized. So today I ask the question many parents ask in silence, where did I fail? And yet the Lord answers us in the gospel, do not be afraid. Those words of Jesus are not just comforting words, they are fatherly words. They speak to a heart that worries, a heart that loves, and a heart that cannot control everything it wants to protect.
Jesus says, do not be afraid because fear can so easily take the place of trust. And on this Father's Day that message touches the deepest place in a parent's heart. Every father knows something about fear. We fear for our children's safety, their future, their choices, their marriages, their health, their faith. We fear that we did not do enough or that we said something wrong or that we failed in ways we may never fully understand.
But the gospel does tell us that the life will be free of struggle. Does it tells us that god is present in the struggle. That is why today's first reading from Jeremiah is so powerful. Jeremiah is surrounded by opposition, by anxiety, and by people who want to see him fail. Yet he says, the lord is at my side, a mighty champion.
That is what fathers need to remember. We are not called to be perfect controllers of our family. We are called to be faithful witnesses in our homes to love, to guide, to protect, and then entrust the rest to God. That is a hard lesson for a father because a father wants to fix everything. A father wants to remove every obstacle, every danger, every sadness, but fatherhood slowly teaches that love is not control.
Love is presence, love is faithfulness, love is the willingness to keep showing up even when we cannot force the outcome we want. Saint Paul gives us hope in the second reading when he tells us that where sin is decreased, grace overflowed all the more. That means no failure in a family is greater than God's mercy. No regret is bigger than God's compassion. No wound is deeper than the Lord's ability to heal.
We may carry guilt, sorrow, or disappointment, but we do not carry them alone. God carries them with us. That does not mean we ignore our responsibility. It is healthy for a father to ask himself honest questions. Did I show my children where faith looks like in daily life?
Did I pray with them? Did they see me go to church not out of obligation, but out of love? Did they see me ask forgiveness when I was wrong? Did I make our home a place where God was spoken of with peace and trust? Those are important questions.
They help us grow. But we must be careful not to turn every struggle into self condemnation. Children are not automatons. They are free. They make their own choices, they are influenced by friends, culture, work, pain, disappointment and grace.
Sometimes the seeds planted in childhood take a long time to bloom. Sometimes they lie hidden for years before God brings them to life. And that is why I find hope in the story of my own family. My children who once argued and competed and teased one another like all siblings do are now best of friends. That did not happen overnight.
It happened through years of family life, shared meals, forgiveness, laughter, hard conversations, and the slow work of growing up together in a way that is a parable of grace. God takes what is ordinary, even messy, and transforms it. I think of the times our family made memories that still make me smile. Renting the Pugh Cabin at Melobar Farm for Thanksgiving dinner was those unforgettable moments. Being that place where the Shawshank Redemption was filmed.
If you saw Shawshank Redemption, which probably most of you have, if you know where the woman his wife, Andy's wife was murdered in that cabin, that's where we were. And there was no blood around. Being that place where Shawshankar was filmed, gathering our family around the table was more than just a holiday meal. It was a reminder that a family becomes a family not only through big events, but through the simple act of being together. I think to O'Brien proposing to Pam and the surrounding woods, there is something beautiful about that image, Love, commitment, and a future beginning in the quiet of creation.
And I remember our cross country trip in our motor home with all seven children for three weeks. That alone be its own chapter in a book, but somehow by God's grace we did survive. Better than surviving we made memories. We learned patience, oh boy did we learn patience. We learned humor, we learned that family life is often less about perfection and more about perseverance.
I can remember when we got to the Grand Canyon, it was really early in the morning and all the kids were sleeping. I said, okay, everybody up here we are at the Grand Canyon, we are only here for a few minutes. So they went out and went. I said okay, I'll go back to bed now you've seen it. And maybe that is the message fathers need most, keep going, keep loving, keep praying, keep trusting, keep inviting.
Even our children are grown. Even when they are far away. Even when some have drifted from the church. Even when some of the grandchildren have not yet been brought to the waters of baptism. Keep going.
Because a father's work does not end when the children leave home. It changes shape. Now it becomes prayer from a distance. It becomes phone calls, visits, birthday cards, quiet intercession, and a steady witness of a life still rooted in God. It becomes encouraging without pushing, inviting without shaming, and loving without conditions.
That is especially important when we think about faith. If some of our children or grandchildren are not practicing the faith, the answer is not panic. The answer is perseverance. Pray for them by name. Mention them in your mass intentions, invite them gently, let them see your peace, your hope, your humility.
Often the most powerful evangelization is not argument but witness. Not pressure but prayer. Not fear but love. And perhaps that is why Jesus begins with those words, do not be afraid. He knows the heart of a father.
He knows the heart of a grandfather. He knows the heart that longs for his children to be safe, holy, and close to him. Jesus does not practice promise that we will always see the results we want, but he does promise that we are worth more than many sparrows and that not one of them is forgotten before God. If God remembers sparrows, he surely remembers your children. If God cares for the least bird in the sky, he surely cares for the souls of your sons, your daughters, your grandsons, and your granddaughters.
That is where our hope rests. So today on Father's Day we honor fathers who were strong. Fathers who were gentle, fathers who were imperfect, fathers who tried, fathers who failed and got back up, fathers who prayed, fathers who worked, fathers who loved, and we thank god for the gift of fatherhood in all forms. To the fathers here, do not be afraid. To the grandfathers here, do not be afraid.
To those caring concern for children who are far from their church, do not be afraid. To those who wonder if they failed, do not be afraid. God's mercy is greater than our regrets. God's love deeper than our wounds. God's grace is stronger than our weakness, and God is still working our families even when we cannot yet see the full picture.
So let us keep praying. Let us keep trusting. Let us keep loving. Let us keep inviting. And let us thank God for the gift of family, for the gift of faith, and the quiet miracles of a father's heart that never stops hoping.
And all God's people say Amen.
Host: This has been a Saint Patrick Catholic Community Podcast. For more of our shows, go to our website and click Saint Patrick's Studio.