Welcome adventurers to Probability of Demise, the podcast where critical fumbles meet critical facepalms. Join us as we delve into the darkest dungeons, slay the stupidest gremlins, and roll enough ones to make a beholder weep. Forget epic storylines and heroic deeds, here we celebrate the chaotic beauty of bad roles, questionable decisions, and characters with more charisma than sense.

We'll be your dungeon masters of disappointment, guiding you through campaigns where the only guaranteed treasure is a mountain of laughter, and maybe some psychic scarring. So grab your nat 1 dice, strap on your anxiety helmets, and prepare to witness the glorious trainwreck that is our D and D journey.

Because, in the end Even if your character dies face first into a pile of pudding, at least you'll have the Dice God's permission to laugh your ass off.

Hey, welcome back to Probability of Demise, the best show you've ever seen, that ever was and ever will be, that you like, subscribed, left comments too about how beautiful the, um, Sunset was, where you were? Okay, sure. And since Jessica is throwing herself under the bus, Let the bus run her over with Word of the Day.

With me, that's me. This is my segment. Uh, hello, Amazing Adventures. This is once again, the amazing and best and most wonderful segment because I am in charge of it. called Word of the Day, like the jingle suggests. Uh, today, I have rolled, once again, the magical D100 that Jason got me. And today we rolled a 16.

So, now, I will bestow upon you the magical word that you can use in your everyday life to sound smart ical. So, today's word of the day is fugacious. Fugacious, uh, is a word that describes something that lasts only a short time. Uh, used in a sentence. Okay, the wizard's ward, the wizard warned that the potions effect was fugacious, granting immense strength, but only for a fleeting moment in the battle.

Hmm. Fugacious. Hmm. Does it share a root word with like fugue? Yeah, maybe not. I don't know.

I feel like this one is really doable, right? Fugere. Fugere. The trio's attention span is fugacious.

And with that, welcome back! Last time, our heroes found themselves embroiled in a chaotic battle at the orphanage where they faced the relentless Slutty and the enigmatic Modern. With quick thinking and bravery, Gus, Ulua, and Seraphina managed to save the children, but not without cost. A young mage sacrificed themselves to protect the orphans, leaving a heavy weight on the group's conscience.

As the dust settled, Ulua discovered a mysterious magical component from the defeated Modron, hinting at deeper secrets and potential power. Actually, that was Seraphina. Meanwhile, Seraphina also was able to usher the children to safety, Gus having narrowly escaped infection from a slightly toxic drug.

Tadpole now faces some uncertainty about what that encounter means for his future. And then we have the city of Cragside Crowds still under threat from the encroaching chaos and the city in general. The adventurers must regroup and decide their next steps. Will they investigate the magical artifact that Seraphina found, seeking to unlock its secrets, or will they focus on ensuring the safety of the orphans, perhaps even finding a way to help those in need?

who sacrifice themselves. As they navigate the bustling market, they must also consider the ominous warning from Sticky Beak about the Modern's truant intentions. What lies ahead for our heroes? Will they uncover the truth behind the Slaadi's invasion and the Modron plans? Or will they find themselves drawn into a web of intrigue that threatens to engulf them all?

Prepare yourselves! I just want to go home and sleep.

So, uh, Alula ventures to the group. Let's just go home and sleep. I'm just so tired. I said a lot of spells. I would like to sleep. I would, uh, like to get the children out of the home that I sent them to. Your workshop? My workshop. And, um, I would like to play with my new toy.

Go here! Now get out.

I think we were swinging through the market to get like, tents and bedding and things for all these kids and then we were gonna set them up and specifically the, the potion. Did we do that last, did we end on finding those? No. Uh, that was, I said it. I know you cast. I said that I was gonna do that but we didn't, we didn't necessarily RP that out.

So I don't know if, if there's more to that or if we just consider that a success. But I did mark that spell slot off. I did love that you cast locate object to draw yourself as quickly as possible to the potion that you were seeking. Hey, I mean, efficiency. You can get market value for that potion, um, of a hundred gold coins.

Or, uh, We can go into an RP scenario, but I feel like we're gonna need like, a bunch of them if we're gonna check all of these kids. So, we don't have money for that. Uh, do we not? I don't. To cure the kids, you require the potion. Or to just cure them! You do have other diagnostic strategies that you've been made aware of.

But I don't want you to forget that.

I have 435 gold. I don't know what you guys have. Oh. Yeah, I only have 110 gold. 28! 100. No, 28. Okay, uh I think I was just the bank. I think that's why I had more than everybody else. It just came to me at some point. Yeah, because you have the bag. We should, uh, are we near the market where we made our business deal?

It's not the same market. I mean, you can go that way. Is it? Is it? We should go check in and see if we got more money. Because it's been like a couple weeks. I mean, we could divide and conquer? Because, I mean, we gotta do something with them kits. I can't just leave them at a What's His Face's apartment.

Well, as you dawdle, trying to come to a decision, just outside the potion monger's place where the potions are available, which we will decide that location at any point that you decide in which direction you're going, meh.

Could all three of you go ahead and roll a perception check? No sir, I don't like it. I'm gonna use the die that I got from, uh, uh, Comic Con. From Let me drop their name real fast, maybe they'll sponsor us.

Let's see.

I'm never going to be able to find this. Riz, what was the place we went that I got the glass dice? Do you remember the name of it? It was D& D something, so I know that's very helpful to everyone.

But my perception roll is a 17, so so far their dice likes me. I paid 70, 000, oh my god, I paid 70, 000 for it. And they told me if I drop it, it will shatter, so. Wish me luck. Glass or gemstone dice? Yeah, it's glass. It's very pretty. They're very pretty. I love those. But yes, my I think you all remember the moonstone ones I had?

They were Aether's original dice? Those broke. Aether! That was her name, not Ethel. I remembered the other day. Ethel is Baldur's Gate. Aether is Your, uh, private campaign. I can't remember. I'll have to figure out these people's names. But they had a, like, 15 foot tall dice tower. Um, and depending on what you rolled, you got something.

And, um, we rolled a three and just barely survived. So we got a little ribbon that said, Barely survived. And this die. So I'm gonna roll this. It was a small business. And I want to drop their name because they're awesome. And if you need stuff to store your dice in, this is the couple you should totally get it from.

Because they're great and they're out of Georgia. Oh, they had like dice storage things. Yeah, they were awesome.

We're doing Perception. Perception.

Oh, and I get advantage. I'll take the first one. Mine is a 13. Dice Dungeons, does that sound right? 26.

Uh, let's start with the lowest roll first. Your spell has pulled your attention to this place. And because you haven't stepped inside, it's just throbbing there. Waiting for you to step inside and relieve the pressure of this spell. And if only you could step within that area. Border. You could just get this throbbing to stop and it's distracting you from the general milieu of what's going on in this part of the city.

That's Ulua. Gus. You are following along as Ulua beelines it for this place but now that she's waiting outside as you all debate trying to figure out what you're going to do, you can make out, um, sounds that are not normal in this city. I mean, it's not that a city's ever quiet, but there's a louder noise down each direction of the street.

And because this little shop is at a crossroads, you also hear it down the crossway, cross street as well, but just a little bit fainter, a little further off. And it's amazing that there's this much, um, noise. So there must be some sort of festival or something happening. Seraphina. The King's Festival? You also hear the same noises, but you can make out just a little bit more than they can.

It sounds like the people are very upset. You can't see anyone. But you can definitely hear that there's some sort of shouting, protest, almost riotous,

currying down all the streets. Riotousness.

And you make out, going down to the southern end of the street, which just happens to be in the direction of, um, your old home, and your brother's office, uh, an ascended city has kind of moved in a little bit closer than they normally do. There seems to be quite a bit of traffic up and down from that ascended citadel.

Gus, seeing Seraphina's gaze in that direction, you also are drawn to a sight that's not uncommon, but you don't fully hear all the sounds that, and the context that Seraphina is able to understand. I will share that. And relay what I just saw. And, uh, I'm gonna add. Uh, I don't I don't necessarily want to join a riot today.

Um. Let's Let's hope that the riot is, uh, fugace fugacious. Shall we? Oh! There it is! You scored it. You got your word. Damn, that was good too. I was like, wait, wait! Damn inspiration. How much is it again? Gotta get my thing out. It's a D20 re roll. Oh, I just gotta remember. D20 re roll. There's a spot to mark inspiration on your Oh, is there?

Nice. Right next to your health. At least on the PC, I don't know what it is on the Is it conditions? Heroic Inspiration is it. Ah, found it. Um, like,

maybe, um, if you go into the potion shop and explain the situation, maybe you can get them to donate to the cause or give us a good deal.

Ool wah. I mean, I could, I, I, You're, you're very convincing. I bet if, if you ask, they'll just, they'll just give it to you. And if you play them a song, they might give you a couple of them. I'm gonna sneak up the street while you do that and see what's up. Okay, I can Da dum, da dum.

Kassandran, go ahead and roll a stealth. Lula, you enter the shop. There's the potion maker. They seem a little distracted. Um, and in their distraction, you know, and you're able to assess fairly quickly, that it would take you very little time at all To talk this person into a lot of different things, and so you can roll a persuasion check to get two potions for the price of one or advantage.

So you could easily, just an assessment of the situation, know you could do that. If you want to try for something a little bit steeper, let me know. Uh But their distraction is playing into your hands. Okay. Uh, uh, no. Um, I don't have that kind of dice luck, so. There's a reason I don't go to casinos. But I'll stick with that 2 for 1.

I'm going to bring my dice out, it's doing pretty well so far. That is an unnatural 20. With a plus 11 bonus, I got an unnatural 20. So. That was with advantage? Like, what was your other rule? Oh no, I didn't realize that it was with, with advantage. That's what I'm saying, she's distracted. Sorry, I thought that was, or I could have advantage on the rule.

Sorry. Okay. No, no, no. Uh, 24. Okay. Yes. You're able to secure the potions, two for the price of one. Um, and In which case can I get four? Sure. So you get four for the price of two. Thank you. Will you add that to the bag, since I spent your money? Oh, I might, okay. Minus two hundred, yeah. As you leave the shopkeeper, and while Jason gets Gus's bag updated, What are these, uh, what are these potions?

Item placement. Lesser restoration? Potions of lesser restoration? Uh, yeah. Okay. As you head out, you're intrigued by the shopkeeper's gaze, quite frequently looking out, and then kind of checking you out really carefully, and then looking out the door again. Just a little suss, a little sussy. Um, do Do you, do you want me to check and see what's going at, going on outside?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just making sure that none of them come in here. Cool. Book a day. I think I'm gonna close. Okay, uh, do you know what that's about, by chance? Uh, I'm not totally sure. But, um, I'm just feeling a little bit nervous. And she kind of like, starts to physically, um, direct you out.

Not touching you necessarily, but like, she's very eager to get you out of the shop so she can shut it down. Okay, well. And then like just as I go to go out the door I'm just gonna like put my arms on both sides. Uh, I'm gonna, yeah I'm gonna try to. What I'm actually gonna try to do is gonna try to do like a one arm, I'm gonna try to turn and do like one arm this way and one arm this way and just be like, you sure you don't know anything about what, what, what this is about?

And I would like to try to persuade in that moment also. Roll a persuasion check.

13.

Uh, you'll, I'm sure you'll hear about it. 13. I mean, just get home. Get home. And so saying, she just starts to close the door, like almost uncaringly, for your fingers. You know, you need to snatch out if you want to be safe. Yeah, it's fine. I'll go. I rolled a whole friggin TWO!

Gus. I don't gamble on shit. Your natural 20. Slipping down the alleyway, slipping up onto the rooftops, taking your path of least resistance as Investigator Gasundren Sniffle. Slides into place. Something like that. You're able to find a You're able to find a decent except it's You say it so quietly that no one even looks.

I scream silently in pain as I get sciatica. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! You see that it is truly on the verge of being a riot. There are various people of Overton shouting in outrage and at the center of it, leading this on, you make out one of the Ascended.

One of the Ascended has come down and it seemed to be proselytizing a message of we must cleanse this city. They've come for us. They're showing their true colors. We must cleanse the city now. And people are responding to this very positively. They seem to be engaged with the speaker and, and shouting and cheering this on.

How long do you stay there for the, um, political We'll have to figure out who they is. Okay, so it's probably 20 minutes, Ulua and Seraphina, before Gus returns to you. So for 20 you're sitting there. Seraphina, you have this strange object. I'm guessing you're still very intrigued by it. Are you tinkering with it while you wait for Ulua and Gassandran to come back?

Yes. Yes, yes. Go ahead and just roll a dexterity check. Okay. You could possibly use a skill. If you think about how you would do that, or, um, if you're using something from one of your tools, you could use those, um,

you could use that to assist you if you're proficient in the tool. Which you're proficient in a lot of tools. Yeah, I am. So let me pull that up, because I would definitely be using a tool. That just means you get to use your, um, your bonus in addition to the roll. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I also have Do I have it yet?

Let me look. Um, Patience, Valority, Protection, Expertise Oh, I don't think I have it yet.

No. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Okay. Uh, yeah, I would just be using my, um Like, old school tinkering tools, because I would know that I can't, like, use my hands to get, you know. Yeah, so just go ahead and roll your d20 plus your proficiency bonus, um, plus your dexterity modifier. D20 plus your proficiency. Where do I find that?

Your proficiency bonus? Yeah. It's right up at the top of everything. Or, mm hmm, mm hmm.

Dexterity. Come on, baby. You just rolled pretty well. Don't let me down now. Ba ba da! You kind of let me down. Thank you so much. I'm gonna roll again with my, with my, my thing that I just got. For being smart. Oh, and using the word. Yep, yep. That's what she's using. Because much like, much like using the word of the day, you will eventually just forget you have the inspiration.

Oh?

Well worth it. Have a good reroll for in that 20, much better than a six that I got , so 24 for future reference. For future reference, uh, you can check that in your abilities and saves for the future. But, what was the total? Twenty Twenty four, twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven. Twenty seven. Um, you pull and poke and fiddle for a minute here.

And, eventually, something just clicks. And it almost, you know those, uh, fidget toys that turn themselves inside out, inside out, inside out, inside out? Mm. Mm hmm. It almost seems to be doing that. And as you turn it inside out, of course, That's speaking of. Somebody has one right in their hands. As you turn it inside out, you can see that there are various things scribbled here.

It's, it's You think you make out spell scrolls on the internal pieces of this.

And with a natural 20, you can read a couple of them. These are high level spells. These are beyond you. But they seem to be not being used for their own purposes. You're not sure what Each of these spells are, but,

you can tell that there's, um,

there's definitely some conjuration spells here, and some other schools of magic, but the one that sticks out is conjuration. As you're looking at that, and flipping through, um, you can see that they're somehow being used not for their intent, but, you can tell that there's some conjuration spells here, and some other schools of magic, but being drained for other purposes.

So somehow this little unit is a power source where magical spells are being used to power something. And almost like how you can feel exhausted after casting a few spells, you think that this object itself powers Modrin by draining very powerful spells.

Hmm. Okay. Uh.

Awesome. I think you might even be able to read one of these if you tried, but what you would be reading, you don't know. It's invoking a scroll. If this is a scroll, without knowing what it is, it could be really, really, really bad. Yeah, uh, I'm not going to do that right now. Um,

so I'm going to, uh, just hang out with Alu until Gus gets back and I'm gonna go up to her and kind sway from like, tiptoes to heels, tip toes to heels, and just be like, so. ua.

Hey. Hi. Hey,

knowledge, you now hold God. Gus, you come upon. Wait, wait. Sarina, I, I don't wanna go pretty awkwardly dressing alu. I don't wanna go back. When I find out he get, he's whipping up a mob through after the undead. I like to yell from my secret Hatty place. Don't listen to him. He's a flawed,

um, wonder if anyone knows what means. Well, performance Check to see if you're even able to be heard.

I'm just feeling left out over here. Wow. You shout that out, um, you shout that out, and, uh, Proud seems to, um, at least a section of it, seems to turn and look over their shoulders, trying to spot. person speaking and since you're hiding so successfully nobody's able to make you out but the speaker looks off and says who said that i am not whatever this is that you are claiming i am an ascended an ascended shapeshifter asshole

um i need you to roll a new stealth check because he's actively trying to find you now Uh, oh, that's not good.

Not so loaded. Seven.

Your lattice shout reveals your position and he eyes where you are. And he just points in your direction. Bring down the traitor to those who live. I'm gonna stand up. In like the position I am in on the poster in Rodex's office. I'd be like, I am Gasundan Schnipple. I was once a hero of this city, and that man cannot be trusted.

I don't know where my accent went. Maybe when I yell it doesn't come out. You hear, because the crowd is now a little disconcerted and a little confused, um, I'm going to have you roll a persuasion check again in a second, but you hear people shouting out and some of the things you hear are, then explain the undead killing so many members of our community.

There's blood in the streets and it belongs to those who are dead.

Did you just roll another one or that It's in that 20. It's like the Dice Dungeons logo, but yeah, it's gotta be loaded Pew pew pew pew Jesus Christ Jason's new favorite. This dice is making up for the way I've been rolling for most of this campaign right now. Okay, fine.

Again, with the amazing persuasion, what is the intent of your words? What is your, what is your hope for outcome? I would like the crowd to just turn on him. Like, if there's going to be a riot, I want them to riot against the Ascended and not against the Undead. That's what I'm calling for. So this pie of the, overall, this slice of the pie that can hear you does turn more riotous and you've inflamed them, but their anger doesn't have any outlet because they can't turn against this individual, they are protected by strong magics.

And so instead, they go after each other as they disagree with one another and the riot continues. The protest fully and officially transforms from protest to riot, and there is additional blood in the street.

As that's happening, I would like you to roll a perception check. Actions have consequences. 22. Nah. Wait, no. Sorry, 19. You can see that there are members of that Ascendant's entourage that are moving to Kishu. They have flying vehicles and they're Moving towards you. So if you wish to remain free, you would need to do something.

If you want to evade them, you'll need to do something. But if you want to continue to engage, you're kind of in that, that spot. Okay, I'm going to yell something about, um,

like, don't fight each other.

You have more in common with each other than you'll ever have with him. And then I'm going to Uh, Misty Escape. Okay. Disappearing. 60 feet back in the direction of them and then just hightail it. Yeah, disappearing from sight in the moment. And disappearing to a location that is out of sight because you are up high and able to easily make your way to locations where they can't see.

You can begin making your way in that direction. Um, the, you can hear that the sound in that area is just getting louder and louder. Um, once a riot starts or a mob starts, it's hard to control that. I mean, you can see also at the same point, just 60 feet away, you can make it out. The two flyers that were headed your way, are still scanning and looking, so you're actively being hunted.

Um, but you can also see that the Ascended is returning up to the Citadel. Go ahead and roll a stealth check to see if you're able to be super sneaky. I am. Uh, 17. Sneaky ish. Yeah, you use the rooftops and then eventually the alleyways to stay out of sight and easily lose your tail. I'm just gonna, like, come up, like, pop up out of my stealth, like, hey guys, we gotta go.

Gotta go, gotta go, time to go. Ah! Ulua, Seraphina, without any knowledge of what's going on, you've been having this, um, awkwardly flirty moment, and then Gus is there. I think we gotta go. We gotta get out of here. What if the

Schlod Ascended is inciting a riot against the undead? I just grab their hands and I start heading to, um, um, my workshop. As you go through the streets, you come across more and more scenes of the populace. That, and you don't see any sight of the undead.

Eventually, making your way to where the workshop is, you are close to where the hollow council is. And you can just overhear the conversations. They just rose up and killed them all. There was no word. Watch commander Shonran was just stabbed to death. I heard that their vampire got the hollow council woman, Gendesi.

You're just hearing these conversations,

and eventually, you're able to make it to, um,

where your friend's, uh, shop is, and you see the shop is closed up tight, and sitting in front of it, a whole crew of orphans, and they're all spotting you. One of them pipes up and goes, Oh, she's here. We couldn't get in. Nobody's home. Uh, is there a way to get in that, to my workshop that isn't through the house?

You have a key. Oh, okay. Um, do I know if all these people will fit inside of my workshop? They definitely won't. Uh If you emptied your workshop of everything, you might be able to pack them in side by side, but you'd have to empty your workshop of everything you pack. Yep. Nope. Okay. Um Okay. Can we just hail some carpets for all these people and get the fuck out of Dodge?

Where are we gonna send them? To my house.

Okay. Ulua, can, do you have any more messages? I can send a message, but I, I, I, I don't have any more. I can't, I can't do anything long distance. Uh, um, okay. So saying, you've begun the process of summoning carpets, because carpets just I'm also gonna mask of many faces myself into a completely different looking No, maybe like a little goblin instead.

The eyes of some of the kids get really big as you transform yourself. No, no, no, no, no. It's in him. They have it. He's, he's one of them. Nope, nope, uh, nope. Not the same. I just made an ascended really mad. I'm just, they're looking for me. It's a disguise. Uh, since your friends are on your side with this, roll a persuasion check with advantage.

They back you up immediately.

A wary eye on you, they seem to settle down, and the alarm doesn't spread to the rest of the group. And I just, I just kind of point to him and I go, Goblin? And then I kind of, uh, point at an imaginary sloth frog.

One of them points up to you and says, They changed their faces, and he just changed his face. Yes, but they only They only, in terms of,

they don't, they don't change from, yes, they don't change from person to person without. They look at you with complete skepticism and you realize that maybe they do. What? They, they do. They change into anybody. They like one. They stay with one usually. Yes, but, but then they can change into anybody, but they don't do, I don't think they, I And now I'm, I'm, you're doubt, you're making me doubt myself.

Don't they have to infect someone else in order to change into a new person? Oh. I feel like that was always the case. Just an innate ability as they can polymorph themselves. They change typically into the one that they've been birthed from, for lack of a better word.

I was never under that impression. Okay. I, I look at them and I go,

uh, We're just trying to help you. We're not slawed. We are gonna send you to his house where my parents are and I'm gonna quickly write a little letter to my mom being like Mom, these are orphans. We don't know what to do with them. Please watch them. They may be hungry. I love you. And I'm gonna give it to the

But my, but my workshop's here, and I have a toy.

So do you want to split up? There's also a riot here. And you can hear the noises of, of that crowd. Can you grab, like, some things you might need to go somewhere later? How long, uh, I don't know if I have time. I just rip, I just rip it apart and I go, I'll figure it out later. Let's go. I will be the letter.

About this time as you've been negotiating to figure these things out, a couple of carpets arrive. Enough to kind of squeeze, get everybody carried. The drivers of these carpets look harried and a little bit concerned. You're not going into the council areas, right? We're going out of the city. Perfect.

Last ride of the day. And, not forgetting, we're going to have We're going to have 14 or 16 orphans and two cab drivers. At my house. Yep. Uh, yeah. You are able to quickly travel back out to the woods outside of Overton. As you're traveling, um, you can make out that there's quite a lot going on in the city.

Some of the riots, like, in the area were that. One situation turned into an active riot. You can see that there's smoke billowing up from some damage being caused. But even as you travel over the city and you can see that there are steadily fewer and fewer carpets and all of them seem to be heading out of the city.

Um, and you're kind of relieved that you even just got the ones that you got because Given another hour or so, there might not have been any transit available whatsoever. Um, but you also watch in the distance as the Cragside Crowds begins to list precariously.

Continuing on, you make your way and arrive at Gus's house.

I don't know why, but I think the Schlatt want to. The Schlatti want to crash the Cragside Crowds. I'm not sure why.

That's been their goal. I think it's why they killed Grand. I don't know. He was trying to fix it with the Imports,

it was all just like clicking as I'm like watching it like Um,

I, I want to say something to him, but I also want to I want to like Go through each of the kids and make sure none of them have like bite marks or like little insert marks And then, if they don't, push them inside. Push them inside. If they have something weird, put them to the inside. I don't think them all in the house.

It's not a very big house. Well, push them in towards the house. And then as I'm doing that, I, I Roll a medicine check. Okay. Roll a medicine check. Use a general one. Ones eye. Stamina. Okay. Okay. Uh, medicine. That's an M. Found it. Two. So, uh, 14?

Sweet. Uh, things go really well at first. Uh, that bioluminescent tattoo is a dead giveaway that they're safe. So, seeing kids with that bioluminescence, immediate, Oh, good, you're, no infection, no infection. And then you come across a hand where the tattoo is faded.

Uh,

I just like stand behind that child and I like mouth to the others. This one might be in trouble. Making sure only those two can see me.

I'd like to come up and do that. Huh? I got this one too! I'd like to come up and do like a more thorough medicine check on them. Go ahead and roll your medicine check.

Nineteen? Nineteen. Pretty good for a guy with a plus one medicine. Just have a conveyor belt going. Seraphina with her fourteen was very much focused on quicksigns. Do you have the bruises? Do you have the bioluminescent tattoo? And you turn to look at the ones she's pointing to, and these are the older kids, the kids who don't have bioluminescent tattoos anymore.

Those have faded anyways. So a quick diagnostic was not enough, and you're able to do a much more thorough examination. Um, and you can tell that three of the kids, three of the older kids, had scrapes from running in to save their fellow orphans, and each of those are infected with the bacteriophage. Like

you three, hang on over here for a minute. The rest of them are okay, though, like all the other, like, we're comfortable. Yeah, the young kids seem to be very much okay. It's kind of a shock that these young children who were in the Slotty's hands for so long were not infected. But these older children who had, who were mages or mage aspirants were the ones that got infections.

I look at one of those tattoos, like, what is the tattoo that protected them? And I'm just wondering, like, Suss out, like, what the tattoo is. Um, investigating the tattoo? Go ahead and roll an Arcana check.

It's like my best bonus, and I have a a 2, so it's an 8. It's complicated magic. This is You're one of instinctual magic. I'm just a stupid ward off. My powers are given to me. I don't get it. Yeah. You don't have the research chops to understand it. Look at the tattoo, like Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Then just walk away, understanding nothing.

I'm gonna take out, or I guess you still have the potions, I don't know if you actually gave them to me. I gave them to you to put them in your bag, because I took your money. You said that, but we were not actually together when you did that, so. Okay, I would have given them to you when you got back, because you have the bag.

Since this is why we fought them, I am going to take out three of the potions and give them to each kid.

Uh, there's a little bit of vomiting as you convince each of them to drink the potion, but at this point they've seen horrors. There's a bit of vomiting and sick as they take the potions in and it washes away whatever this magical infection is, and it's pretty quick that you're able to make out that that infection has cleared.

Whatever they like, eject onto the ground, I'm just gonna like, firebolt it a little bit. Like, in case there's like, little bacteria or worms in there. Sorry,

puppy. Um, And then I'll go, like, into the house, into the shed, into the, like, wherever, dragging out like, Depends, lean to's, hammocks, like, whatever I can find. To like, set up somewhere for, to sleep for all of these kids, either inside or outside. Yeah, um, going through all of your items, things, bits of tarp and canvas to construct a sort of situation.

Um, you can also make out just looking around for your neighbors who are off in the distance. You do live far from others, but you can make out that they're also going through some sort of preparations. Um, can you go ahead and roll? A history check. 19.

Hey puppy. Um, as you're just looking around, it does tickle the back of your mind that one of your neighbors is considered to be of the undead host. Might be a source of information that you could direct your friends or yourself to, should that be a useful thing to do. Um, but you can just make out most folks seem to be like patting down the hatches.

News has spread, um, extended relatives have arrived, and cottages are being shuttered.

So as you expand out the footprint of your living space, they seem to be closing it up.

Probably. I can try to shoot a message at my neighbor, but I'm guessing they're more than 120 feet away. Yeah, definitely more than 120. You, you, when you described your space, it sounded like you didn't want people that close to you.

Yeah, I'm in the wood where I pet dogs, if that's enough to answer. Awesome. Awesome dream. To make real.

So there you are. Seraphina. Ulua. Gus. Gus is busy. Trying to set up. I'm just going to be like, talking to them if they're near me. I could be like, sounds like Sir Gregor just went for it. And nobody knows what's happening. That's what the ride seems to be about.

Maybe after the DUSH titles it'll make, they'll be able to communicate. Just a lot of problem to the populace, but I don't know. It's not looking good for the undead.

I have an undead neighbor, he's right there. That little blinking light through the trees. Just point, yeah, pointing through the trees. There's a little tiny pink cottage. Pink? Pink? Yep. Little pink cottage. Um. Because you're undead doesn't mean you have to not like pretty things. It's more just Literally a quote from his neighbor that he heard once.

I was going to say, it just doesn't seem to fit in with I mean, you know, I guess if you quote Wicked, pink and green go together, but you know. Anyways, um. Maybe you should go check on him. I, I need to rest. I, if I, if you want me to be able to contact anybody, I need to sleep. Okay.

I'll go see how he's doing. Great. Uh, darkness is settling in. Seraphina, there's some additional tasks to set up these kids for rest. Ulua is exhausted. from too much spell use. Seraphina, do you continue to help, or are you too distracted by your bobble? Um, I'm, like, 80 percent helping, 20 percent every once in a while, looking at the ball, playing with it, putting it back, helping.

Okay. Uh, can you roll a wisdom saving throw? Wisdom throw!

It's not good. Wisdom. Saving throw. Seraphine is a borg now. Jesus. We are borg. Eleven. Eleven! Eleven! Great. So Gus, you're walking through. What does it look like to arrive at this little pig cottage? And what can you describe about this neighbor, if you wouldn't mind? You just made this neighbor up, why do I have to describe it?

Because I'm trying to write something to Seraphina. Okay, alright, um, so this is, uh, A drag queen in their past life. Yes, that's canon now. This is my drag queen undead neighbor. Their name is Dragula. And, um,

no, um, Okay, uh, It's a little pink house, Like just, I think like a little, like, One room, square, hut, kind of, like, homey looking. Um, let's see, what kind of undead are they? What are my options? Vampire, zombie.

What is Sir Gregor? What kind of undead is that? Lich? Leech? Lich? Um, I'm going to say it's a vampire. My, my vampire neighbor. And, my vampire drag queen neighbor. That's my Love it. I feel

like the yard is normally decorated with like, you know, like those paper bulbs that like, you light the candle inside, like the strings of those all. Yeah. Like the paper lanterns are running through the yard. But right now they're all out because they're trying to hide, trying to think somebody come up with a name for me.

I got nothing. Boris. Boris. Boris. Boris. Boris. The track. former drag vampire, Dracula.

Boris, are you home? It's Gus. Darling, darling, not for long. Getting out and the door bangs open and you see them kind of outfitted for war. And they look at you, it's like, I know we've been neighbors. Just let me, let me get out. I'm not here to stop you. Great. Beautiful. Have a wonderful life. I knew this was going to happen eventually.

Depends everywhere we've been. Sorry, the whole city's been invaded by Flawdee and Sir Gregor made a move on them and apparently the optics were not good. They were at places. Yes, I'm sure if Sir Gregor was still not with us, with us, it would have been smoothed over, but One of the first on our side to go with Sir Gregor.

So, yes, uh, no advocacy, no protection. Good time to immigrate. Um, okay, um,

do you have any tents that you don't want? Me Casa and Sue Casa, because I'd be dead otherwise. We just, uh, we just saved a bunch of orphans out of the riots in the city. Hopefully they find my closet to their liking, I will miss every piece.

Um, Borsh, I won't hold you up any longer, it seems like you have to go, but um, do you have, do you have money, do you have, are you good, like, to travel? Always be prepared for a rainy day, I just feel badly for those ghouls that couldn't quite make the cut. There are benefits to being a little bit more palatable to the mortal world.

Thank you. Kiss kiss. Okay, well, see you on the other side when you finish dying the rest of the way someday. Well, like you, I plan to live forever. Oh, I don't want that at all, but good luck. That's the little twiddly fingers goodbye to you, and then you see them polymorph and a cloud of bats flies off into the night sky.

Meow. It's a little bit ostentatious, even for a vampire. Is there, is there a laugh off into the night?

Yeah, I'm sure there's a laugh, but it's in bat screeches. So it's like, For some reason it's counting the number of people coming to attack the vampire house. One soldier.

The door to this little cottage is open. Your Count Chocula friend is dead. Vacated, so you could potentially distribute. You're such a good provider, Gus. You found a home. I mean, I'm definitely not going to put a bunch of kids in this house when people are coming to probably burn this house down. But, um, I am going to go in there and look for stuff that we can use.

Yeah, I think you're able to gather a range of supplies that could be used for shelter. Um, no food, oddly. Hmm. Bye. There's a bunch of dead people drained of blood. And that does remind you that you left a lot of pancakes behind earlier today.

We can feed the children.

All right, I'm gonna, okay, I'll take whatever supplies I can go through any outbuildings looking for tents and camping gear and bedding and

a couple trips back and forth. Maybe bring some kids to help me carry it all back because I'm old. I'm sure it's a lot. Yeah, I'm sure you're able to persuade a couple of them to help you since you're legitimately helping them. Um, There are no pancakes left.

That temporary thought is quickly dismissed as you realize there's not a scrap of pancake batter or pancake syrup or butter left in the whole space. Dude, I can't believe my parents ate all of the pancakes. Like, didn't leave a single leftover for me. Um, where's Wubble?

The smell of maple syrup and butterfields, the air as wobble comes to its name. It was ble, no longer green, but some amalgamation of maple colors

is are back to both sides. Now, sunshine and fall leaves wubble. This wobble back to a normal size. Now Wubble is ridiculously large and you can actually make out chunks of pancake. And whole syrup bottle, still within the structure of Wubble. Uh, if you think about a gelatinous cube, like we always see those, uh, caricatures or pictures or jokes about a gelatinous cube and it has like a bone here, a weapon here.

It is cooking utensils, pancakes, frying pan, and batter bowl, all within the structure of Wubble.

Wubble smells delightfully. Delightful though. Previously Wubble was kind of acrid, but now this tan brown and yellow sludge smells quite delightful.

I think I can get everybody set up either like on in the yard with tents in the house with blankets on the floor or because they're kids and they can sleep on the floor. Or, uh, maybe on the porch, I guess, with hammocks and stuff. Yeah, sure. Um, I love this picture of your cottage transformed into an ad hoc dormitory for a bunch of kids, your friends, and an elderly set of parents.

And meanwhile, Wubble, all night long, kind of I'm gonna ask Wubble if he will stand guard for us. Yeah, okay. All night long just provides a little security and you It's almost soothing the sound of Because I did shout my name at that Ascended off of the, so, eventually they're going to figure out where I live.

And so passes the night. You all wake up smelling of butter and syrup. Desperately hungry. Long rest. Oh yeah, I need to add that. Yeah, have health again. I was at like half health when I started talking shit to an Ascended that was pretty smart. With Dawn, you can see smoke over Overton, most of Overton. You can no longer make out the Crickside crowds.

You don't know if they've crashed, or they're just so low in the sky it can't be made out over the treeline. And the city that was floating closer is no longer floating closer, it is directly over Overton.

Not good, uh.

At least we solved Gran's murder. That beautiful experience. Having done so much to regroup and letting things progress on their own, we'll see how things are next time we return to Probability of Demise, the best podcast that ever was and will be. Please like, subscribe, and We'll see you again soon. Bye bye!

Goodbye! And just want to throw out there, the um, that really awesome, uh, Dice People is an, the artist and the carpenter is their like, name on Instagram. Go check them out. so much. And the dice that rolls 40 percent in Ad20s is from Dice Dunder.

Hope you all have a wonderful time. God bless us. Find your own pod and goodbye. Bye. Okay, goodbye is still muted. Bye.