WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:05.924 --> 00:00:10.454 Lindsay: Hey guys, welcome to the Lifting Lindsay podcast. 00:00:11.414 --> 00:00:19.394 Today's episode, I really want to encourage you to do a lot of self 00:00:20.054 --> 00:00:22.454 introspection here, like a lot. 00:00:23.234 --> 00:00:28.154 Um, and maybe I just want you to join me because I've been doing 00:00:28.154 --> 00:00:29.954 it a lot lately and I'm just like. 00:00:30.699 --> 00:00:41.444 Oh, uh, I, I am needing to take far more accountability and just ownership 00:00:41.504 --> 00:00:48.794 of my choices, and I've been telling Alex, I've been having so many of these 00:00:49.154 --> 00:00:53.894 epiphanies, sadly it's the same epiphany, but just about different topics of my 00:00:53.894 --> 00:00:59.089 life where I'm like, oh, um, I'm actually. 00:01:00.794 --> 00:01:02.534 Like, I'm, I'm the problem. 00:01:03.284 --> 00:01:03.764 It's me. 00:01:03.764 --> 00:01:05.324 No, I don't wanna say I'm the problem. 00:01:06.074 --> 00:01:12.704 Um, I don't wanna, I don't want to, I don't wanna put this in a light where 00:01:12.704 --> 00:01:18.434 it would make somebody not want to stand up and take massive amounts of 00:01:18.434 --> 00:01:22.064 like extreme ownership of their life. 00:01:22.994 --> 00:01:26.924 Um, so I don't wanna say like, you are the problem, or I don't wanna use any 00:01:26.924 --> 00:01:32.774 kind of like, maybe words that may lean towards shame, because there are those 00:01:32.954 --> 00:01:40.814 of us who may heavily, um, any feeling of shame and they just kind of run and hide. 00:01:41.054 --> 00:01:44.234 They, they don't wanna, they don't wanna face ownership. 00:01:45.554 --> 00:01:48.044 But I do really want to encourage you. 00:01:49.334 --> 00:01:52.784 Today's gonna be an episode where we take massive amounts of ownership, 00:01:53.864 --> 00:02:00.824 um, for the way our life has turned out and the direction of it right now. 00:02:02.069 --> 00:02:04.919 It's been kind of a humbling week. 00:02:04.919 --> 00:02:07.259 I think that that's the, that's what I want. 00:02:07.259 --> 00:02:11.489 I want, maybe this be, I want you guys to feel the way I feel. 00:02:11.489 --> 00:02:11.969 Okay. 00:02:12.329 --> 00:02:13.979 Don't feel ashamed, but humbled. 00:02:14.039 --> 00:02:14.519 Yes. 00:02:15.129 --> 00:02:19.929 There's been things that I've noticed with my children and in my family 00:02:20.019 --> 00:02:23.349 that I, I really want it to change. 00:02:23.529 --> 00:02:27.219 I don't want to keep this traject trajectory because I'm, I'm worried 00:02:27.219 --> 00:02:31.179 about what that's gonna look like for my kids as they get older. 00:02:31.184 --> 00:02:31.479 Right. 00:02:31.939 --> 00:02:36.199 And for myself, and as I did some really deep. 00:02:37.299 --> 00:02:38.619 Diving this week. 00:02:38.709 --> 00:02:43.779 Uh, really, really thinking and trying to educate myself on what can, what 00:02:43.779 --> 00:02:46.449 can I do to change these behaviors? 00:02:46.449 --> 00:02:48.699 How can I teach my children to work? 00:02:49.299 --> 00:02:51.009 How can I teach them grit? 00:02:51.399 --> 00:02:54.969 How can I teach them emotional regulation? 00:02:55.509 --> 00:02:58.749 Um, there, there's all of these things that I feel like these are, 00:02:58.749 --> 00:03:02.079 what are, what are going to serve them best in their life and the 00:03:02.079 --> 00:03:05.169 trajectory that, that, uh, they are on. 00:03:06.154 --> 00:03:08.464 Is not one that is going to serve them. 00:03:09.274 --> 00:03:15.274 Over and over again this week, I kept feeling like, and, and once again 00:03:15.274 --> 00:03:20.044 this isn't a shameful way, this was just a very humbling and just me 00:03:20.049 --> 00:03:25.924 taking complete ownership, I just realized it's, I am creating this. 00:03:27.459 --> 00:03:33.669 I'm creating, what I'm seeing that I don't like, I am, I'm the creator of this. 00:03:34.929 --> 00:03:36.669 I try to teach them to work. 00:03:36.699 --> 00:03:42.129 I try to give them assignments, but then I don't actually spend the 00:03:42.134 --> 00:03:47.019 time to sit and do the work with them and teach them how to do it. 00:03:47.019 --> 00:03:52.719 And then I don't, I I, I kind of hold them accountable by. 00:03:53.634 --> 00:03:55.794 Going up and seeing and being like, oh, well you didn't do 00:03:55.794 --> 00:03:56.694 this and you didn't do that. 00:03:56.694 --> 00:04:03.114 It's like, but I never put in the hours to actually side by side, teach them. 00:04:03.294 --> 00:04:06.504 But then I'm just mad that they don't miraculously know exactly 00:04:06.504 --> 00:04:08.784 how to do it, how I would do it. 00:04:09.444 --> 00:04:13.224 And maybe some of you with kids, this comes naturally. 00:04:13.224 --> 00:04:15.624 Maybe some of you are like judging me. 00:04:15.624 --> 00:04:18.234 Maybe some of you are, I don't care. 00:04:18.504 --> 00:04:21.834 Maybe some of you are like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm doing that too. 00:04:22.164 --> 00:04:22.644 But. 00:04:23.034 --> 00:04:30.414 Teaching children to work takes so much work teaching children to have 00:04:30.414 --> 00:04:40.254 grit takes so much grit like it is testing me on whole new levels. 00:04:41.022 --> 00:04:43.777 teaching my children emotional regulation. 00:04:45.382 --> 00:04:49.132 Requires so much emotional regulation, 00:04:51.472 --> 00:04:54.982 it requires all of these things. 00:04:54.982 --> 00:05:00.082 And you guys, um, yesterday was, um, mother's Day. 00:05:00.082 --> 00:05:02.992 I'm not exactly sure when this podcast is gonna go out, but for me, 00:05:02.997 --> 00:05:06.997 yesterday was Mother's Day and I. 00:05:07.642 --> 00:05:12.052 Just, I'm, I'm trying to get my kids ready to church, to go to church, and I 00:05:12.052 --> 00:05:17.452 just lost it on one of my daughters, and I just sat there thinking afterwards. 00:05:18.862 --> 00:05:24.622 One of the hardest things about being a parent is actually regulating my 00:05:24.652 --> 00:05:31.522 own emotions and not getting pulled into the emotions of my children. 00:05:32.392 --> 00:05:36.922 I think one of the hardest things about any relationship is that right. 00:05:37.462 --> 00:05:43.282 What if your spouse shows up in an immature way and is accusatory 00:05:43.582 --> 00:05:47.962 or whatever, it's hard not to get pulled right into that. 00:05:47.962 --> 00:05:48.412 Right? 00:05:48.922 --> 00:05:53.362 Your, your sibling, your mother-in-law, your mom, your dad, whatever, 00:05:53.422 --> 00:05:59.272 show up in this immature way, it's really easy to match them in 00:05:59.272 --> 00:06:01.732 their energy and in their emotion. 00:06:02.812 --> 00:06:06.682 And I was telling my husband that is. 00:06:08.152 --> 00:06:11.512 It is so hard to stay the adult 00:06:13.762 --> 00:06:14.602 as a parent. 00:06:15.592 --> 00:06:20.572 Because when my children show up in certain ways that are 00:06:20.572 --> 00:06:24.682 frustrating for me, I instantly wanna meet them where they're at. 00:06:24.712 --> 00:06:28.192 But that's not how I teach them emotional regulation. 00:06:28.192 --> 00:06:31.132 So I'm sharing all of this with you guys, not because I 00:06:31.402 --> 00:06:32.692 know anything on the subject. 00:06:32.697 --> 00:06:33.772 I am floundering around. 00:06:33.772 --> 00:06:34.852 I'm trying to figure it out. 00:06:35.152 --> 00:06:37.402 I'm trying to be a better parent, better person. 00:06:37.912 --> 00:06:42.622 Um, I'm trying to stay in growth mindset and, and constantly 00:06:42.622 --> 00:06:44.362 be working on improving. 00:06:44.772 --> 00:06:46.962 those aspects of my life that are the most important. 00:06:46.962 --> 00:06:52.812 But this week it really has been very eye-opening to me that the 00:06:52.812 --> 00:06:58.782 changes you want, the cha, what you're seeing, you are the cause 00:06:58.782 --> 00:07:03.792 of, and that should not be scary. 00:07:04.302 --> 00:07:05.772 It should not be frustrating. 00:07:05.982 --> 00:07:07.512 It should not fill you with shame. 00:07:07.692 --> 00:07:08.982 It should not fill you with doubt. 00:07:09.162 --> 00:07:10.272 It should merely. 00:07:11.202 --> 00:07:17.172 Almost fill you with hope that if you're the cause of the current 00:07:17.172 --> 00:07:19.392 state right now, guess what? 00:07:20.112 --> 00:07:26.082 You are also the solution and how exciting is that? 00:07:26.472 --> 00:07:31.842 So just sharing a little bit about my work. 00:07:31.902 --> 00:07:33.432 I've been really frustrated. 00:07:33.432 --> 00:07:37.272 This is another aspect, so I have that, that parenting aspect that I've been 00:07:37.332 --> 00:07:39.432 really focusing on and trying to work on. 00:07:40.077 --> 00:07:45.657 But I also have work that I'm like, something needs to change. 00:07:46.377 --> 00:07:48.477 Something needs to change. 00:07:48.477 --> 00:07:52.317 And I've been trying to co-create with God. 00:07:52.317 --> 00:07:54.657 Like what is it like I. 00:07:54.657 --> 00:07:56.712 What is it that needs to change? 00:07:57.042 --> 00:08:02.952 Why do I feel the way I feel and, and how, and I'm, I'm also very nervous. 00:08:03.402 --> 00:08:09.042 I feel like I'm just kind of living day to day and not planning, and not, 00:08:09.522 --> 00:08:13.977 yeah, there's, there's a lot of things that I feel like I would like to see 00:08:13.977 --> 00:08:19.707 improvements on within my work, but also within the amount of time that I 00:08:19.707 --> 00:08:28.857 spend working, because I really want to spend more time with people and summer 00:08:28.862 --> 00:08:33.237 is coming up and my kids are gonna be home all the time, and so I'm like, 00:08:33.267 --> 00:08:36.447 I've gotta get ahead and I've got to. 00:08:37.482 --> 00:08:38.502 Plan out all these things. 00:08:38.502 --> 00:08:43.632 Anyways, I've been overwhelmed by the things I'm telling myself that I have to 00:08:43.632 --> 00:08:48.312 have and have to do and have to accomplish and have to plan and all of these things. 00:08:49.242 --> 00:08:52.782 And this thought just came to me. 00:08:53.722 --> 00:08:58.959 The only thing that you have to do is become better at managing 00:08:59.799 --> 00:09:01.899 your time and mental energy. 00:09:01.899 --> 00:09:04.479 I'm like, okay, well that's not that profound of a thought. 00:09:04.479 --> 00:09:08.739 Anybody who knows me knows that Lindsay just manage your time better. 00:09:09.129 --> 00:09:13.479 But it's interesting because, and this is where I really want you to 00:09:13.479 --> 00:09:21.669 listen and think about this, we tell ourselves stories that aren't really 00:09:22.779 --> 00:09:26.529 based off of the full scope of reality. 00:09:27.065 --> 00:09:34.775 I've been telling myself stories of I work so much, I work all of these 00:09:34.775 --> 00:09:40.055 hours, I do all of this for work, and yet it's not producing X, Y, and 00:09:40.055 --> 00:09:43.355 Z or doing X, uh, you know, A, B, c. 00:09:43.355 --> 00:09:46.715 It's not, it's, it's not doing these things. 00:09:46.715 --> 00:09:53.045 And the thought came to me so strongly whenever somebody comes to 00:09:53.045 --> 00:09:58.937 me, and they're struggling because they're not seeing that loss. 00:09:59.717 --> 00:10:02.807 And I tell 'em, okay, are you tracking? 00:10:02.812 --> 00:10:04.307 I ask them, are you tracking? 00:10:04.577 --> 00:10:09.167 Well, yeah, kind of, but, but I will tell you what they really do. 00:10:10.877 --> 00:10:15.587 They tell me about their best performing days. 00:10:16.637 --> 00:10:24.467 I, they will lay out their best performing day for me, and then 00:10:24.467 --> 00:10:27.647 they'll say, I, I am doing that. 00:10:28.847 --> 00:10:31.427 So why aren't I seeing results? 00:10:32.867 --> 00:10:35.537 I tracked a hundred percent. 00:10:36.437 --> 00:10:41.357 That's what everything looks like all day, like all, you 00:10:41.357 --> 00:10:43.307 know, week, all month, all year. 00:10:43.547 --> 00:10:45.467 So why aren't I seeing fat loss? 00:10:45.467 --> 00:10:45.497 I. 00:10:46.847 --> 00:10:49.127 It must be, I have a slow mota metabolism. 00:10:49.367 --> 00:10:53.987 It must be hormones, it must be all of these things. 00:10:55.307 --> 00:11:00.077 But remember, they're telling me their best performing day. 00:11:00.587 --> 00:11:01.727 How do I know this? 00:11:02.747 --> 00:11:10.397 Because when they hire me as a coach and I hold the floor 00:11:11.612 --> 00:11:17.042 to that ceiling pretty much that they told me that they were doing. 00:11:18.872 --> 00:11:23.312 When I say that's the minimum that's required of you doing what you said 00:11:23.312 --> 00:11:26.612 you were doing, every day you do it, you track a hundred percent 00:11:26.612 --> 00:11:27.692 everything going in your mouth. 00:11:27.722 --> 00:11:28.052 Okay? 00:11:28.052 --> 00:11:30.272 Do it, and then guess what happens? 00:11:31.532 --> 00:11:31.862 Huh? 00:11:31.952 --> 00:11:34.922 All of a sudden they start losing weight. 00:11:36.977 --> 00:11:40.427 So it wasn't the hormones, it wasn't the metabolism, it 00:11:40.427 --> 00:11:42.917 wasn't the, you know, thyroid. 00:11:43.637 --> 00:11:48.377 Now, I will say that there are a small handful of people, but usually 00:11:48.377 --> 00:11:53.057 I can spot them and know that it's time to move up to maintenance. 00:11:53.282 --> 00:11:56.927 I've gotten pretty good at a conversation with somebody 00:11:56.927 --> 00:11:58.337 and knowing what the issue is. 00:11:59.657 --> 00:12:01.757 So sometimes the conversation is. 00:12:03.047 --> 00:12:04.967 You were seeing tons of success. 00:12:04.967 --> 00:12:06.317 You kind of hit this wall. 00:12:06.557 --> 00:12:08.987 This is why, let's move you back up to maintenance. 00:12:10.187 --> 00:12:17.597 And, but a lot of the times it really is, you just described 00:12:17.597 --> 00:12:20.117 your best day, but guess what? 00:12:21.107 --> 00:12:23.027 That wasn't your normal, average day. 00:12:23.087 --> 00:12:26.927 It's like when a fitness influencer's like, oh man. 00:12:27.722 --> 00:12:33.602 I'm gonna do a, everything I ate today, you know, post better store, including 00:12:33.602 --> 00:12:40.802 more vegetables, better make my meals look better, better, you know, and it changes. 00:12:41.612 --> 00:12:45.662 It changes the way that they show up. 00:12:46.142 --> 00:12:49.892 So, so now let's take a step back to what I was saying about 00:12:49.892 --> 00:12:51.152 me and my time management. 00:12:51.992 --> 00:12:54.152 So I got this, this. 00:12:54.962 --> 00:12:58.862 Thought just came to me really strongly like, you think you know what you're 00:12:58.862 --> 00:13:05.672 doing with your time, but are you just thinking about your best days? 00:13:06.782 --> 00:13:07.982 And so, do you know what I did? 00:13:08.252 --> 00:13:10.172 I downloaded an app. 00:13:10.892 --> 00:13:12.452 I can pull it up right now. 00:13:12.932 --> 00:13:23.132 It's called Toggle Track, and I tracked every minute of every day. 00:13:23.822 --> 00:13:24.752 Do you know what happened? 00:13:26.492 --> 00:13:27.572 Well, I am. 00:13:27.722 --> 00:13:33.362 I'm human, just like my clients are human and yep. 00:13:33.362 --> 00:13:39.272 I was telling myself the best day because all of the sudden I start tracking 00:13:39.272 --> 00:13:42.692 every tiny little thing that I'm doing. 00:13:43.352 --> 00:13:47.252 I start really seeing where my time is going, where I'm 00:13:47.252 --> 00:13:49.442 draining it, and guess what? 00:13:49.442 --> 00:13:51.272 I stopped draining less time. 00:13:52.097 --> 00:13:57.497 My productivity for work skyrocketed. 00:13:58.487 --> 00:14:05.597 All of the sudden, when I was tracking where my time was going and I knew exactly 00:14:05.597 --> 00:14:07.277 where I was going, guess what I could do? 00:14:07.457 --> 00:14:10.517 I could control it and I could manipulate it, and all of a sudden 00:14:10.877 --> 00:14:17.327 I had the time that I needed to get all the work and then some done. 00:14:17.732 --> 00:14:19.592 Isn't that amazing how that happens? 00:14:20.012 --> 00:14:24.722 Just like with my clients who, um, or newer clients or people who come to 00:14:24.722 --> 00:14:30.002 me and they're like, well, I track, but, but are you really, are you 00:14:30.002 --> 00:14:34.622 telling me your best day or are you telling me your real average day? 00:14:35.102 --> 00:14:42.572 So I saw this quote on social media, um, and it said, most of performance 00:14:42.992 --> 00:14:45.992 is about how we perform on our. 00:14:46.412 --> 00:14:49.322 Average days, that's our floor, 00:14:51.392 --> 00:14:57.842 not performance is not about how we perform on our best days. 00:15:00.812 --> 00:15:05.882 So the goal then is raise the floor, not the ceiling. 00:15:05.942 --> 00:15:09.422 So the ceiling is, I feel like our best days, right? 00:15:09.872 --> 00:15:10.412 We do. 00:15:10.417 --> 00:15:13.892 We need to learn how to raise the floor. 00:15:15.737 --> 00:15:16.667 Let me read that again. 00:15:16.667 --> 00:15:21.767 Most of performance is about how we perform on our average days, not 00:15:22.037 --> 00:15:24.347 about how we perform on our best days. 00:15:24.677 --> 00:15:29.957 Raise the floor, not just the ceiling. 00:15:31.037 --> 00:15:33.557 I really want you to pause and think. 00:15:34.757 --> 00:15:41.957 Are you tracking the way you say you're tracking your time? 00:15:42.377 --> 00:15:47.177 Your energy, your macros, whatever it is that may be your goal. 00:15:48.317 --> 00:15:54.000 I really want you to hold yourself accountable. 00:15:54.750 --> 00:15:57.990 Take extreme ownership. 00:15:57.990 --> 00:16:03.030 That's also a book that is next on my, on my reading list, but I feel 00:16:03.030 --> 00:16:05.160 like I'm learning that right now. 00:16:05.970 --> 00:16:10.140 As soon as I took extreme ownership. 00:16:11.610 --> 00:16:15.120 Over what was going on with my kids and, and their behavior. 00:16:16.680 --> 00:16:19.500 Now I can start seeing changes. 00:16:19.770 --> 00:16:24.630 I hope they happen faster than they're happening because I can change me. 00:16:26.280 --> 00:16:32.910 As soon as I took extreme ownership over my time, I was mind blown 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:38.760 away by my level of productivity. 00:16:41.025 --> 00:16:46.425 I had been wasting so much time, but I'll tell you, as soon as you 00:16:46.425 --> 00:16:51.225 start monitoring it, then you can see what, where you're losing stuff 00:16:51.615 --> 00:16:54.045 and you can pull and reign things in. 00:16:55.665 --> 00:17:00.615 So that is, that's one of the things that I really wanted to talk 00:17:00.615 --> 00:17:06.405 to you and encourage you about it really is the idea of being busy. 00:17:07.425 --> 00:17:08.955 Versus being productive. 00:17:08.955 --> 00:17:13.635 You see, in my mind, I was so busy. 00:17:14.625 --> 00:17:16.095 I was so busy. 00:17:16.485 --> 00:17:18.525 Why was I not productive? 00:17:18.525 --> 00:17:22.005 Why wasn't I seeing the fruits of my labor? 00:17:23.985 --> 00:17:27.825 Because I wasn't monitoring to the level that I should have been. 00:17:29.715 --> 00:17:33.405 Now I see other ways where we are very busy. 00:17:35.310 --> 00:17:36.420 Not productive. 00:17:36.930 --> 00:17:40.770 This is something that I've, I believe I've talked about this before in 00:17:40.770 --> 00:17:50.730 another episode, but I see people spend 90% of their time being really, 00:17:50.730 --> 00:17:53.910 really busy by studying everything. 00:17:54.615 --> 00:17:57.915 They possibly can about nutrition and exercise. 00:17:58.455 --> 00:18:01.125 They are following all their favorite fitness influencers. 00:18:01.125 --> 00:18:04.965 They're asking them questions all the time, but when it comes down to it, 00:18:05.205 --> 00:18:11.625 they're only doing like five to 10% of the required work that is needed to hit 00:18:11.630 --> 00:18:19.455 their goals, but they, they feel busy because it is constantly on their mind. 00:18:20.700 --> 00:18:27.450 I see this with fat loss because somebody is obsessing about how much they want to 00:18:27.450 --> 00:18:31.945 lose body fat because every single time I. 00:18:32.040 --> 00:18:37.410 They are obsessing and every single time they, they step in front of the mirror. 00:18:37.830 --> 00:18:40.860 They start thinking about, I need to lose body fat. 00:18:40.890 --> 00:18:44.220 You look at me, all of these things, they start picking themselves apart. 00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.000 Every day. 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:46.920 They step on the scale, pick themselves apart. 00:18:47.310 --> 00:18:51.960 Every time they go to eat, they just pick themselves apart, even though, and it 00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:57.660 may or may not change what they're eating too, but it's like a constant obsession 00:18:58.515 --> 00:19:00.315 about fat loss. 00:19:00.645 --> 00:19:07.875 And so their mind feels so taken up by it and so busy that they think 00:19:07.905 --> 00:19:12.345 and they confuse obsessing about fat loss will bring about fat loss. 00:19:13.575 --> 00:19:14.685 No, it won't. 00:19:15.525 --> 00:19:17.025 No it won't. 00:19:17.685 --> 00:19:18.585 It seldom does. 00:19:18.585 --> 00:19:26.115 In fact, usually it sabotages that level of obsession, sabotages things. 00:19:26.835 --> 00:19:34.365 It's like when you think about picking up sand and, and you really wanna hold 00:19:34.365 --> 00:19:39.435 the sand and you pick it up, the more you squeeze it and try to hold onto as 00:19:39.435 --> 00:19:44.535 much sand as you can, what happens the more it all slips through your fingers. 00:19:45.225 --> 00:19:50.145 So I see this nonstop with individuals who are constantly 00:19:50.145 --> 00:19:52.275 obsessing and thinking about. 00:19:52.800 --> 00:19:54.600 Fat loss, fat loss, fat loss, fat loss. 00:19:54.600 --> 00:19:55.920 This is what I need to do, need to do. 00:19:56.100 --> 00:19:57.930 Maybe I need to a, a better plan. 00:19:57.930 --> 00:19:58.530 That's what I need. 00:19:58.650 --> 00:20:02.130 I need to ask this fitness influencer this and this, and this, and this, and this. 00:20:02.580 --> 00:20:10.290 So I have experience with, um, on Instagram with a few followers 00:20:10.295 --> 00:20:14.610 that will constantly inundate me with questions throughout the week. 00:20:14.610 --> 00:20:17.700 Now, I enjoy questions and I wanna help people. 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:21.360 Now, keep in mind there's, I have to respect those that pay me. 00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:26.640 Um, and, and so there's only so much that I can offer on Instagram, 00:20:27.390 --> 00:20:29.610 but I do like helping people. 00:20:30.090 --> 00:20:34.830 But questions would come in almost daily from some individuals. 00:20:35.910 --> 00:20:38.550 And finally I'd be like, well, we already talked about this. 00:20:38.555 --> 00:20:39.300 Did you do it? 00:20:39.570 --> 00:20:40.620 Oh, not yet. 00:20:41.040 --> 00:20:42.810 This is what I'm talking about. 00:20:43.380 --> 00:20:44.490 You're staying busy. 00:20:44.760 --> 00:20:48.690 And then what's even worse is when I'm sitting mentoring a coach 00:20:49.020 --> 00:20:50.790 who that person al also follows. 00:20:50.925 --> 00:20:51.045 I. 00:20:52.050 --> 00:20:56.070 We talk about this idea of busy and productive and how there's difference, 00:20:56.070 --> 00:21:00.720 and the coach was like, oh, I actually have people who message me almost 00:21:00.725 --> 00:21:01.890 every day asking me these questions. 00:21:02.130 --> 00:21:07.980 We found out it, it was the same two people constantly asking us 00:21:07.985 --> 00:21:14.070 both the same exact question, but they weren't ever doing anything. 00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:16.200 They weren't being productive. 00:21:18.210 --> 00:21:22.950 So their mind is in this calorie deficit. 00:21:22.980 --> 00:21:25.740 'cause they're always obsessing about calorie deficit, always 00:21:25.740 --> 00:21:27.000 obsessing about fat loss. 00:21:27.270 --> 00:21:31.440 But their body is not in a physical calorie deficit. 00:21:31.445 --> 00:21:35.010 So they're not actually seeing any changes whatsoever, 00:21:37.530 --> 00:21:42.480 but their walk around exhausted because they think. 00:21:43.650 --> 00:21:48.210 Just thinking about something, planning something, obsessing about 00:21:48.210 --> 00:21:52.860 it, wanting it is enough and it's not. 00:21:53.130 --> 00:21:54.900 They're busy, not productive. 00:21:55.530 --> 00:21:59.130 We have to get out of that. 00:21:59.135 --> 00:22:04.380 So how do we, how do we step away from that busy and step into productive? 00:22:04.620 --> 00:22:10.740 We need to choose items that we can measure and measure with accuracy. 00:22:11.400 --> 00:22:11.760 Right. 00:22:11.910 --> 00:22:18.210 So just like I was obsessing about time management, I, I, I even like 00:22:18.210 --> 00:22:23.520 last, in the past three months, this has been on my mind so much and I've 00:22:23.520 --> 00:22:26.340 listened to like four different books. 00:22:26.370 --> 00:22:30.690 'cause I do audible on productivity, on time management. 00:22:30.870 --> 00:22:34.440 I just barely finished one on the 12 week work year. 00:22:34.650 --> 00:22:38.550 'cause I'm obsessing, I wanna glean all this information, but the truth is. 00:22:39.870 --> 00:22:47.010 I, I already know what I need to do, but it's a matter of writing it down 00:22:47.250 --> 00:22:52.470 and measuring it, and that's what measuring my time did for me, and 00:22:52.475 --> 00:22:59.130 that's what measuring people's energy in their calories do for so many people. 00:23:00.600 --> 00:23:02.610 But here's the thing, you gotta measure it. 00:23:03.435 --> 00:23:04.545 Measure it accurately. 00:23:04.755 --> 00:23:09.165 It wouldn't be good enough if I just said, well, at the end of the day, I'm 00:23:09.165 --> 00:23:13.545 gonna think back on what I did in my day, and I'm gonna put it into this 00:23:13.545 --> 00:23:17.505 timer thing, and then that'll tell me, because you forget so many things, 00:23:19.575 --> 00:23:20.685 you just forget. 00:23:21.405 --> 00:23:24.405 We're all human, it wouldn't have worked. 00:23:24.735 --> 00:23:28.515 I literally right now, can tell you exactly how long I've been working 00:23:28.515 --> 00:23:34.425 on podcasts because I have it in my toggle timer tracker right now, because 00:23:34.455 --> 00:23:38.295 in the moment I am measuring it. 00:23:41.055 --> 00:23:45.165 What we can measure, we can control and we can change. 00:23:46.770 --> 00:23:53.100 Remember that, but it takes massive amounts of ownership too, to be 00:23:53.100 --> 00:24:00.030 able to pause and say, because of my actions, I am here, but how 00:24:00.030 --> 00:24:02.700 amazing, because of my actions. 00:24:02.700 --> 00:24:10.380 Then I can land somewhere else in just a few weeks, a few months and a year. 00:24:11.970 --> 00:24:14.220 So I want you to pause and think to yourself. 00:24:15.510 --> 00:24:19.080 What are things in your life that you're complaining about but 00:24:19.080 --> 00:24:21.120 you're not taking ownership of? 00:24:22.860 --> 00:24:28.590 You're not actually writing down measurable goals and then measuring 00:24:28.590 --> 00:24:33.270 them and then doing it, doing the work. 00:24:33.600 --> 00:24:37.950 You can talk about the work all day long, but until you do it, nothing gets done. 00:24:38.580 --> 00:24:40.320 Nothing changes. 00:24:41.820 --> 00:24:43.110 So hopefully. 00:24:43.635 --> 00:24:48.285 In today's episode, you've, it, it doesn't even have to be about fitness. 00:24:48.315 --> 00:24:48.705 Right. 00:24:48.855 --> 00:24:55.365 Here I was talking about taking ownership as a mom of my children's behavior more. 00:24:55.665 --> 00:24:57.465 Now, I'm, I'm logical. 00:24:57.465 --> 00:25:01.965 I know to some degree there are things that I, I can't take ownership of. 00:25:01.970 --> 00:25:07.730 They're still their own person, but there's also a good, they 00:25:07.730 --> 00:25:10.570 are still very, very moldable. 00:25:11.715 --> 00:25:14.355 I have a 5-year-old, a 9-year-old, an 8-year-old. 00:25:14.775 --> 00:25:17.115 There's still so much within my control, 00:25:20.385 --> 00:25:25.690 and taking mass ownership of what I've contributed to relationships, 00:25:26.050 --> 00:25:32.470 to outcomes within my home, empowers me to be able to change that. 00:25:33.490 --> 00:25:39.370 What's fascinating about all of this is every single time over the past week I've 00:25:39.370 --> 00:25:41.500 sat down and been like, this is a problem. 00:25:41.505 --> 00:25:42.310 I don't like this. 00:25:42.310 --> 00:25:43.300 I wanna change it. 00:25:44.170 --> 00:25:48.310 It is amazing how the change has been, change yourself. 00:25:48.850 --> 00:25:51.820 This about you, change it and this is how you change it. 00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:57.010 And it is just been a really, really eye-opening week. 00:25:57.280 --> 00:25:57.790 So. 00:25:58.465 --> 00:26:00.475 Thank you so much for joining me today, guys. 00:26:00.475 --> 00:26:08.875 I just really wanna encourage you to take hope in the ownership of your life. 00:26:09.865 --> 00:26:17.305 We really do create the outcomes of our life. 00:26:18.150 --> 00:26:19.195 We really do. 00:26:20.215 --> 00:26:22.075 I tell my daughters this all the time. 00:26:22.075 --> 00:26:25.795 Last night had discussion with my daughter about this she said, 00:26:25.795 --> 00:26:29.815 I feel like you're just using me and that you don't appreciate me. 00:26:30.475 --> 00:26:32.575 I had asked her to do her chicken chores. 00:26:33.265 --> 00:26:34.555 That made her feel used. 00:26:36.145 --> 00:26:37.825 And I said, do you know what's interesting? 00:26:38.485 --> 00:26:41.845 It's actually a lot easier for me to do your chicken chores for you. 00:26:42.385 --> 00:26:49.735 Did you know that it takes a lot more effort for me to teach you to do them? 00:26:51.355 --> 00:26:52.315 And she just looked at me. 00:26:52.315 --> 00:26:54.115 She goes, really? 00:26:54.655 --> 00:26:59.305 I said, yeah, but do you know why I want you to do them? 00:26:59.365 --> 00:27:01.825 Even though it's actually easier for me to do it? 00:27:04.090 --> 00:27:09.190 Because I want you to learn that in life, the most successful people do 00:27:09.190 --> 00:27:10.750 things even when they don't want to. 00:27:12.310 --> 00:27:16.540 They learn how to work and they learn grit, and they 00:27:16.540 --> 00:27:18.970 learn ownership of their work. 00:27:19.660 --> 00:27:24.130 I said, you see, right now you're telling yourself a story you're saying. 00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:26.560 Mom is using me. 00:27:26.800 --> 00:27:28.690 She just has me as a slave. 00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:33.490 She just wants me to do all of the, the cleaning and the 00:27:33.490 --> 00:27:36.310 chicken chores and all of that. 00:27:36.310 --> 00:27:37.450 She just wants to use me. 00:27:37.450 --> 00:27:41.800 And I said, but reality is I'm over here like, I love you. 00:27:43.480 --> 00:27:47.350 And because I love you so much, I wanna teach you the things that 00:27:47.350 --> 00:27:54.280 will make you successful with I, I shared that with you because, um. 00:27:54.895 --> 00:28:00.205 That particular daughter tells herself a lot of stories, and then 00:28:00.205 --> 00:28:03.565 she gets so upset like many of us do. 00:28:05.035 --> 00:28:09.685 After telling ourselves story, after story after story and creating this 00:28:09.685 --> 00:28:15.985 world in our head, we get upset when then the reality that we created comes true. 00:28:16.495 --> 00:28:19.255 And we say, oh, see, see, I knew it was gonna happen. 00:28:19.255 --> 00:28:22.105 I said, well, yeah, you knew it was gonna happen because you created it. 00:28:22.900 --> 00:28:26.495 You've spent weeks and weeks and weeks, years and years, months and months, 00:28:26.740 --> 00:28:33.220 creating that story, telling yourself that narrative over and over and over again. 00:28:33.460 --> 00:28:34.510 Of course it came true. 00:28:35.230 --> 00:28:36.040 You created it. 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:45.220 Well, if you can create that, then you can create a story that serves you, and that's 00:28:45.220 --> 00:28:46.815 what I try to teach with my children. 00:28:48.310 --> 00:28:49.960 That's what I try to do for myself. 00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:54.400 We have to start learning to tell ourselves narratives and stories 00:28:54.760 --> 00:29:01.870 that serve us best and take ownership in the world that we are creating. 00:29:02.316 --> 00:29:03.426 You guys are awesome. 00:29:03.426 --> 00:29:05.466 I appreciate all of you so, so much. 00:29:05.646 --> 00:29:07.656 You guys have a wonderful week.