1 00:00:00,180 --> 00:00:02,160 Welcome back to the episode of the Startup Therapy Podcast. 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,200 This is Ryan Rutan, joined as always by my 3 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,420 friend, the founder, and CEO of startups.com. 4 00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:09,600 Will Schroeder will, authenticity is a 5 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,460 fuel unfiltered. 6 00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:14,010 Authenticity is kind of like spraying that fuel 7 00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:15,030 through a flame thrower. 8 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,440 Um, so today I think it'd be fun to talk about when 9 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,640 speaking your truth helps and when it might just be nuking 10 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,330 your team, your brand, your runway, your relationships. 11 00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:29,460 If you had to put a number on it. 12 00:00:29,985 --> 00:00:33,555 About what percentage of the time do you feel like being your 13 00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:34,665 authentic self is a great idea? 14 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,160 I think if we really ran the numbers, and I feel like 15 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,910 maybe I have, I think just be yourself is wonderful 16 00:00:41,910 --> 00:00:44,250 advice 6% of the time. 17 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,280 I might be generous on that. 18 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:47,490 Do you feel 19 00:00:47,490 --> 00:00:49,470 like that's true for everyone or are you giving yourself 20 00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:50,640 a very specific score? 21 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:50,935 Is that just general? 22 00:00:50,935 --> 00:00:53,310 That number would be, everyone needs to adhere to this number. 23 00:00:53,940 --> 00:00:55,080 That number would be way lower. 24 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,460 I'd be like, just be yourself. 25 00:00:56,460 --> 00:00:57,480 It never will. 26 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,860 Just never, ever, ever. 27 00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:00,310 And you know, I always say this thing, right? 28 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,839 And I say like, when I come home and I talk to my wife about my 29 00:01:03,839 --> 00:01:05,880 day and stuff like that, she's like, well, why didn't you 30 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:06,929 say that when you're at work? 31 00:01:06,929 --> 00:01:08,100 I'm like, baby, I, I can't. 32 00:01:08,399 --> 00:01:08,759 Right. 33 00:01:08,759 --> 00:01:11,700 Like the There is and, and 'cause we have an HR department. 34 00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:12,390 Oh yeah. 35 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:15,450 Like, it just, it would be, it would be wonderful. 36 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:16,020 Right. 37 00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:16,230 Yeah. 38 00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:18,390 And not that I'm holding so many things back or I'm 39 00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:21,750 so pent up course, but like there's a level of diplomacy 40 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:22,860 that comes with this job. 41 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:23,400 Yes. 42 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,320 That if you don't understand, and Ryan, 43 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,520 we see a lot of people. 44 00:01:26,915 --> 00:01:30,425 Don't understand that level of diplomacy, and especially, 45 00:01:30,425 --> 00:01:33,845 and I gotta say this, I think generationally, folks that have 46 00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:36,755 come up through social media where it's all about expressing 47 00:01:36,755 --> 00:01:37,715 yourself all the time. 48 00:01:38,105 --> 00:01:38,255 Yeah. 49 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,785 And then they get into the work world. 50 00:01:40,235 --> 00:01:40,835 How about this? 51 00:01:41,195 --> 00:01:43,595 When people get into the work world and they don't 52 00:01:43,595 --> 00:01:44,980 realize their employers are gonna Google them. 53 00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:46,050 Right. 54 00:01:46,050 --> 00:01:47,160 As the first thing that they do. 55 00:01:47,789 --> 00:01:50,310 And see all of the dumb shit that they've been posting for 56 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:53,490 their entire lives and like doesn't even occur to them that 57 00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:54,509 you weren't supposed to do that. 58 00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:55,980 I was living my authentic self. 59 00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:56,310 Yeah. 60 00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:58,320 Well now your authentic self isn't very employable. 61 00:01:58,620 --> 00:01:59,009 Yeah. 62 00:01:59,009 --> 00:02:01,800 I think we have to recognize that authenticity's a tool 63 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,550 shouldn't be a a, a reflex and that look like we're not asking 64 00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:06,990 anybody to hide themselves. 65 00:02:07,740 --> 00:02:09,750 But you should edit a little bit, right? 66 00:02:09,794 --> 00:02:12,180 Like, like most of my best work, it requires 67 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:13,140 a little editing, right? 68 00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:14,040 You gotta edit a 69 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:14,190 little. 70 00:02:14,865 --> 00:02:17,535 So, you know, I always, I was say to my wife, I was like, 71 00:02:17,655 --> 00:02:21,915 yes, there's things that I feel right, but I don't get to 72 00:02:21,915 --> 00:02:25,125 express them because there's a consequence to it, right? 73 00:02:25,185 --> 00:02:30,495 Like, yes, theoretically, any of us, you know, you, me and any, 74 00:02:30,495 --> 00:02:32,925 our leadership team should be able to say whatever they want. 75 00:02:32,930 --> 00:02:33,109 Yep. 76 00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:33,390 But 77 00:02:33,644 --> 00:02:34,365 you can't. 78 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,025 Right, right. 79 00:02:35,025 --> 00:02:37,245 And that's the part that I think it takes people 80 00:02:37,245 --> 00:02:38,475 a minute to understand. 81 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,895 Is that what you say 82 00:02:42,135 --> 00:02:44,145 has so much consequence? 83 00:02:44,445 --> 00:02:46,185 Stick on that for a second because I think that's an 84 00:02:46,185 --> 00:02:48,435 important piece of this, which is you and I are 85 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:49,815 always talking from the founder perspective, right? 86 00:02:49,815 --> 00:02:50,715 So Right. 87 00:02:50,715 --> 00:02:54,165 In this case, your title amplifies your, your tone. 88 00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:58,785 Even a whisper from us can sound like a verdict to the team. 89 00:02:59,055 --> 00:03:00,975 And, and so I think it's super, super important. 90 00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:04,005 I, I couldn't important that we, we hammer this point home, uh, 91 00:03:04,035 --> 00:03:06,225 with, with what's the biggest hammer you got in the workshop? 92 00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:06,405 Will 93 00:03:07,365 --> 00:03:10,665 I, A lot of them, but in early in my career, I didn't get that. 94 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,740 And I was, you know, I was very young and I would be in the 95 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:16,290 office, I would make offhanded comments and things like that. 96 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:16,680 Sure. 97 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,050 And I didn't appreciate the gravity to which 98 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:19,980 they were received. 99 00:03:20,220 --> 00:03:22,920 And I remember there was at some point, like figure, like I'm in 100 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:26,490 my like early to mid twenties at the time and I'm like, you know, 101 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:27,840 five or six years on the job. 102 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,620 And I noticed that when we, uh, go out to lunch or go out 103 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:34,530 to drinks, and mind you, all my coworkers were my same age. 104 00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:37,110 So there's nobody above 30 years old at the time. 105 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:37,740 Right, right. 106 00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:38,600 I noticed I was. 107 00:03:38,925 --> 00:03:42,465 Kind of getting invited out less and less and, and I 108 00:03:42,465 --> 00:03:44,145 couldn't quite figure out why. 109 00:03:44,535 --> 00:03:45,045 Yep. 110 00:03:45,165 --> 00:03:46,965 And again, at the time I was learning this all for the first 111 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,225 time, so I had no context. 112 00:03:48,225 --> 00:03:50,570 Yeah, you were really, none of us would known being I why 113 00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:51,045 I knew this was happening, 114 00:03:51,045 --> 00:03:52,185 bounce of wisdom at that age. 115 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,965 But what I started to realize was no one wants to hang 116 00:03:55,965 --> 00:03:58,845 out with their boss because there's also consequence 117 00:03:58,845 --> 00:03:59,220 the other direction. 118 00:04:00,075 --> 00:04:02,025 When they say something like, I hate something. 119 00:04:02,295 --> 00:04:04,454 It's like, and you're sitting right there, you have an 120 00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:06,915 opportunity to be able to say, oh, well, maybe you 121 00:04:06,915 --> 00:04:07,695 shouldn't be working here. 122 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,025 Right, right. 123 00:04:08,025 --> 00:04:09,405 You know, I mean, something crazy like that. 124 00:04:09,795 --> 00:04:12,165 Or if I say something, you know, we're out having drinks or 125 00:04:12,165 --> 00:04:12,975 whatever, we're all hanging out. 126 00:04:12,975 --> 00:04:15,045 We're we're, we're being kinda loose lipped, if you will. 127 00:04:15,495 --> 00:04:18,284 And I say, man, I really, I've really been struggling 128 00:04:18,284 --> 00:04:18,945 to come to work every. 129 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:19,800 Right. 130 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:21,300 Needle off the record. 131 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:21,825 Right, right. 132 00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:22,530 Like, wait, what? 133 00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:23,310 Right. 134 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:25,290 The, the guy who signed her paychecks, uh, doesn't 135 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:26,010 wanna come to work. 136 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:26,550 Okay. 137 00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:27,660 Let me update my LinkedIn profile. 138 00:04:27,660 --> 00:04:28,200 This might be, I mean, 139 00:04:28,710 --> 00:04:30,900 we're, we're all in agreement then, sir, but how does this 140 00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:32,130 end, right? 141 00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:32,790 Yeah, exactly. 142 00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:33,150 Exactly. 143 00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:33,510 It's like. 144 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,549 But I'm sitting there going, yeah. 145 00:04:35,549 --> 00:04:37,080 But I was being my authentic self. 146 00:04:37,289 --> 00:04:37,710 Right, right. 147 00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,270 I I, I was speaking my truth. 148 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,010 Yeah, you were. 149 00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:41,789 That's the problem. 150 00:04:41,969 --> 00:04:42,239 You were right. 151 00:04:42,929 --> 00:04:45,325 I was just being myself and it's, that's the problem's still 152 00:04:45,325 --> 00:04:46,349 important to consider all the time. 153 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,030 I, I never miss a chance to quote my dad. 154 00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:48,179 Right. 155 00:04:48,179 --> 00:04:50,820 You know, this, that one nugget of his that I love, 156 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:53,190 I don't know where he got it from, but communication is the 157 00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:54,719 burden of the sender, right? 158 00:04:54,719 --> 00:04:54,780 Yeah. 159 00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:58,590 Meaning we have to consider how we're saying it. 160 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,539 Why we're saying it, should we be saying it? 161 00:05:00,539 --> 00:05:02,130 All these things that go into it. 162 00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:05,460 But we have to consider how it's gonna be received and 163 00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:08,040 we have to think through what's the person on the side 164 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:08,880 of this gonna gonna think? 165 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,550 And it's funny, like, as you were saying that about like the, 166 00:05:11,550 --> 00:05:13,950 you know, the, the team dropping things that you react to. 167 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,420 It took me a while, if I'm honest, to see comments like. 168 00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:22,665 TGIF in our team Slack and be like, so great 169 00:05:22,665 --> 00:05:23,355 about being Friday. 170 00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:24,225 Like it we're. 171 00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:26,445 We, we need more days of work, like we're not done with shit. 172 00:05:26,445 --> 00:05:28,365 Like I, I've seen what you put out this week. 173 00:05:28,365 --> 00:05:29,445 You shouldn't be glad this Friday. 174 00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:31,185 Yeah, it's Wednesday, right? 175 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,545 It took me a long time to get over that and like that 176 00:05:34,545 --> 00:05:35,535 was, it was my problem. 177 00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:36,135 It wasn't their problem. 178 00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:37,245 They were just happy it's Friday, why wouldn't you 179 00:05:37,275 --> 00:05:37,905 be happy it's Friday. 180 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:38,775 They'd worked hard all week. 181 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:39,049 Right. 182 00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:39,979 They're ready for a weekend. 183 00:05:40,430 --> 00:05:41,810 But that wasn't my mentality. 184 00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:42,890 It wasn't the way I received it. 185 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:45,349 I'm just like, you just don't wanna be working right now. 186 00:05:45,590 --> 00:05:46,669 And people pick up on that. 187 00:05:46,669 --> 00:05:48,560 You know what, whether you verbalize it or not. 188 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,880 And that's, that's kind of, you know, what this 189 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,049 all comes, comes back to. 190 00:05:51,409 --> 00:05:54,770 I always think it in terms of, um, honesty being a privilege. 191 00:05:55,469 --> 00:05:59,010 Uh, being able to just say exactly how you feel and not 192 00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,229 have to be consequential in what 193 00:06:01,229 --> 00:06:01,469 happens. 194 00:06:01,469 --> 00:06:03,119 Hold on, stick on that for a second because I wanna 195 00:06:03,119 --> 00:06:05,190 tie this all the way back to something else you said in 196 00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:07,710 a previous episode because I think this is sort of one 197 00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:11,909 of the same, which we said, taking risk is a luxury, right? 198 00:06:11,909 --> 00:06:15,179 Being able to take risk is a luxury to some degree, 199 00:06:15,630 --> 00:06:18,750 depending on how honest you get, you are definitely pushing 200 00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:19,710 the risk factor there, right? 201 00:06:19,799 --> 00:06:21,870 And so I think that those, those two concepts do 202 00:06:21,870 --> 00:06:23,039 directly tie together. 203 00:06:23,385 --> 00:06:23,655 Right. 204 00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:25,995 And, and I used to think about it in terms like when 205 00:06:25,995 --> 00:06:29,414 I was young and, you know, poor, I used to think I'm not 206 00:06:29,414 --> 00:06:32,294 allowed to be honest, because if I'm being honest, there's 207 00:06:32,294 --> 00:06:34,484 a consequence to that that could actually affect me in a 208 00:06:34,484 --> 00:06:35,775 very, you know, negative way. 209 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:36,284 Yeah. 210 00:06:36,344 --> 00:06:39,825 And then I looked at Rich kids and I looked how, how Effortly 211 00:06:40,185 --> 00:06:42,645 effortlessly honest they could. 212 00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:47,085 And I admired that because I'm like, man, you know, 213 00:06:47,085 --> 00:06:50,385 you can say some crazy shit and the person on the other 214 00:06:50,385 --> 00:06:53,175 side has to take it because you have money to give them. 215 00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:53,955 Right? 216 00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:55,635 It's the equivalent of like somebody's at a hotel. 217 00:06:56,610 --> 00:06:58,710 The maer dee, or you know, or the, the, the concierge 218 00:06:58,980 --> 00:07:01,380 isn't treating them well and they just lay into 'em. 219 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:01,710 Right? 220 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:01,770 Yeah. 221 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,260 Because they know they have this power and this 222 00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:05,220 lack of consequence. 223 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:07,950 And all I could think to myself was like, I can't even 224 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,030 believe I'm at this hotel. 225 00:07:09,030 --> 00:07:12,030 Like the idea of complaining, it makes me think I'm 226 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:12,960 gonna get kicked out. 227 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:13,230 Right? 228 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:13,470 Yeah. 229 00:07:13,595 --> 00:07:15,660 Um, just totally different mentality. 230 00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:18,060 And so when I see, uh, young founders. 231 00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:21,745 Like myself back then, go into the, into this job, 232 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,005 you know, into the CEO job. 233 00:07:23,365 --> 00:07:26,065 And again, you see 'em on social media right. 234 00:07:26,395 --> 00:07:28,255 Saying like, just whatever they want. 235 00:07:28,585 --> 00:07:28,735 Right? 236 00:07:28,735 --> 00:07:31,285 And I'm like, dude, like you can't do that. 237 00:07:31,405 --> 00:07:31,645 Yeah. 238 00:07:31,645 --> 00:07:33,445 Or saying stuff to their staff, you know, they'll 239 00:07:33,445 --> 00:07:35,515 come to me like, I'm having a problem with my staff member. 240 00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:36,985 Here's what I want to say to 'em. 241 00:07:36,985 --> 00:07:38,845 Like, whoa, you cannot say that. 242 00:07:39,355 --> 00:07:39,655 Right? 243 00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:41,125 Like, you'll be in a lawsuit. 244 00:07:41,605 --> 00:07:41,815 Right. 245 00:07:41,845 --> 00:07:42,865 Like, or worse. 246 00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:43,075 Right. 247 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:46,360 I think for a lot of founders, um, they struggle with this. 248 00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:49,540 They struggle with this idea that if I'm not saying 249 00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:51,850 exactly what's in my head, you know my truth so to 250 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:53,530 speak, that that's a problem. 251 00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:55,690 And I'm saying, no, that's a solution. 252 00:07:56,590 --> 00:07:57,490 Do a lot of things. 253 00:07:57,550 --> 00:07:57,850 You know, 254 00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,980 he's a real straight shooter. 255 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,620 We also don't allow firearms in here, so we're not sure 256 00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:03,160 how this is gonna work out. 257 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,090 It's funny, but you, you do have to pick between 258 00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:10,110 being real and I think being responsible again, because the 259 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:14,040 communication can have so many outcomes that are unintended. 260 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,290 Um, most of the time I would say, I think I, if you, if 261 00:08:16,290 --> 00:08:19,620 you have something that you honestly do need to share and 262 00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:21,360 you know, it might cause harm, but you have to, anyways. 263 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:21,960 That happens. 264 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:22,110 Right? 265 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:22,590 That happens too. 266 00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:22,710 Yep. 267 00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:24,630 Because I, I a hundred percent know what you're 268 00:08:24,659 --> 00:08:27,180 not, what not saying is sweep shit under the rug. 269 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:27,690 Right. 270 00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,250 Just, just look the other way. 271 00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:31,020 Just don't say what needs to be said. 272 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,610 What you're saying is. 273 00:08:33,015 --> 00:08:35,025 Put a pretty heavy filter in front of that 274 00:08:35,025 --> 00:08:36,434 before you decide, right? 275 00:08:36,794 --> 00:08:38,804 Because we can't just, everything that occurs to us 276 00:08:38,804 --> 00:08:39,734 fall out of our mountains. 277 00:08:39,765 --> 00:08:41,864 Well, we, we can, it tends to not happen. 278 00:08:41,864 --> 00:08:41,924 We, 279 00:08:42,375 --> 00:08:42,974 that's the problem. 280 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:46,454 And here's the thing, like I don't have a great filter. 281 00:08:46,454 --> 00:08:48,824 Like my, my filter over the years, over the decades 282 00:08:48,824 --> 00:08:51,584 has not been my strongest suit, even though I'm 283 00:08:51,584 --> 00:08:52,785 aware of why that filter. 284 00:08:52,844 --> 00:08:54,734 I mean, we're literally doing an episode specifically 285 00:08:54,765 --> 00:08:55,515 about the filter. 286 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,545 And so I, I'm the last person to say that I'm great at it, 287 00:08:58,814 --> 00:08:59,864 but I'm well aware of it. 288 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,265 I, I'm well aware of, you know, where and how. 289 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,030 That can kind of work against you. 290 00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:06,850 And again, we're going back to all the different places 291 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,470 where this starts to manifest. 292 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:12,070 One of the places, uh, that we see is, we talked about 293 00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:15,370 a moment ago is, you know, founders on social media, right? 294 00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,410 Like, ah, you know, I, I wanna post everything 295 00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:17,980 and put everything on. 296 00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:18,400 Okay? 297 00:09:18,790 --> 00:09:22,000 But dude, like, you're not just a person on 298 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:22,780 social media anymore. 299 00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:25,120 You are a CEO of a company Now. 300 00:09:25,694 --> 00:09:28,995 A leader at a company and everything that you post has a 301 00:09:28,995 --> 00:09:30,375 whole other consequence to it. 302 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,235 'cause the people that are seeing are the people 303 00:09:32,235 --> 00:09:33,105 that work with you. 304 00:09:33,435 --> 00:09:35,235 They're the people that may work with you someday. 305 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,735 You know, so they're seeing what you post. 306 00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:39,255 They're your customers, they're your investors, they're 307 00:09:39,255 --> 00:09:40,665 your, the media, et cetera. 308 00:09:41,084 --> 00:09:44,595 You have to start thinking about all of those different outlets. 309 00:09:44,805 --> 00:09:46,635 Whereas before it was just what your friends thought 310 00:09:46,635 --> 00:09:48,675 and you know, what, what likes and comments you got. 311 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:49,155 Yeah. 312 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,074 Now it's like that's the least of your concerns. 313 00:09:51,105 --> 00:09:52,035 And I think it takes people 314 00:09:52,035 --> 00:09:53,895 a minute to process that. 315 00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:56,385 I think that one of the things that gets lost is that 316 00:09:56,385 --> 00:09:58,545 intention is private, right? 317 00:09:58,605 --> 00:10:00,765 My intent is locked up within me, right? 318 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:02,955 You may hear 10 words come outta my mouth. 319 00:10:03,225 --> 00:10:05,775 There were probably a thousand thoughts behind that, right? 320 00:10:05,775 --> 00:10:07,455 And so there was probably a whole lot of intention 321 00:10:07,455 --> 00:10:10,155 that's not gonna get carried in the way that I intended 322 00:10:10,155 --> 00:10:11,325 it to in those 10 words. 323 00:10:11,835 --> 00:10:12,705 But the thing we have to remember is the 324 00:10:12,705 --> 00:10:16,425 intention's private, but the impact is super public. 325 00:10:16,425 --> 00:10:19,575 Depending on where this gets said, which it's becoming harder 326 00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,705 and harder to find a corner in which you can say things where 327 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,635 that it doesn't come to light. 328 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:25,605 Um, and again, not that that founders are just out there, 329 00:10:25,635 --> 00:10:27,765 you know, m fing everybody, and, and like just having 330 00:10:27,765 --> 00:10:28,965 nothing bad things to say. 331 00:10:29,205 --> 00:10:32,535 But there are a lot of truths to being a founder that can't 332 00:10:32,564 --> 00:10:34,125 just be shared unvarnished. 333 00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:34,410 Right. 334 00:10:34,455 --> 00:10:34,665 Right. 335 00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:36,975 In the same way we expect our wine to be aged and 336 00:10:36,975 --> 00:10:37,995 our vodka to be distilled. 337 00:10:38,425 --> 00:10:38,935 We like our 338 00:10:38,935 --> 00:10:40,255 communication to come through that way too. 339 00:10:40,675 --> 00:10:42,355 Well, so, so, uh, play on that. 340 00:10:42,715 --> 00:10:45,355 Now when I'm communicating within the company, right, 341 00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:48,625 again, I'm thinking, uh, everybody needs to be, be honest 342 00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:49,705 and transparent, et cetera. 343 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:52,165 And I understand what those words mean, and 344 00:10:52,165 --> 00:10:54,295 I understand what, what value those words have. 345 00:10:54,505 --> 00:10:56,485 That doesn't mean they're right, right? 346 00:10:56,605 --> 00:11:00,205 Yes, transparency sounds great, but there is a time 347 00:11:00,205 --> 00:11:01,615 and a place for transparency. 348 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:02,005 Okay? 349 00:11:02,005 --> 00:11:02,245 Sure. 350 00:11:02,305 --> 00:11:03,655 It's the way I think about being a parent. 351 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:04,650 Yep. 352 00:11:04,650 --> 00:11:07,140 Kid comes to me and says, Hey, do you think 353 00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:07,920 I could be president? 354 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,870 You, you have two different answers, right? 355 00:11:10,079 --> 00:11:12,990 One is honesty and transparency, and one is filtered. 356 00:11:13,199 --> 00:11:13,620 Okay? 357 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:18,150 The honesty and transparency is there's a 99.999% chance 358 00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:19,620 that will never happen, right? 359 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:20,969 So yes, give it up right now. 360 00:11:21,329 --> 00:11:23,130 That's honest, like statistically. 361 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,640 It's only happened to, is it 47 people in the 362 00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,290 history of America? 363 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:28,530 Right? 364 00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:31,950 And so it, it's statistically it ain't gonna happen, right? 365 00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:36,450 So you could say that and you could dim the spirits of this 366 00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:37,770 child and in all these things. 367 00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:41,640 Or you could just filter and say, that's a hard job to get. 368 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,230 In order to do it, you're gonna have to work really 369 00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,690 hard and actually have a positive outcome. 370 00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:48,270 Now, the cynical person could say, well, you're not 371 00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:49,410 being honest with that child. 372 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,240 Yeah, you're right. 373 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,220 I'm not being right straight up. 374 00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:56,580 I'm not, but if I am, the consequence of that 375 00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:57,930 is negative, right. 376 00:11:57,930 --> 00:12:00,900 I'm, I'm, I buy nothing and it costs a lot. 377 00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:04,110 And I think that's the, the filter that folks 378 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:04,920 need to start to apply. 379 00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:05,730 Absolutely. 380 00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:06,180 Yeah. 381 00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,310 I, I think that we have to go back to that, you know, 382 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:11,040 the fact there's a, the very different power dynamic when 383 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,470 we're talking founder to like rest of the team, founder to 384 00:12:13,470 --> 00:12:14,460 clients, founder to market. 385 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,235 There's always an imbalance there and, yep. 386 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,490 And so founder words are heavy. 387 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,560 Your employees can't unhear them. 388 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,199 Your, your investors can't unhear them and they won't. 389 00:12:22,469 --> 00:12:25,380 And so, you know where we might have meant empathy? 390 00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:28,589 Employees heard evaluation, right? 391 00:12:28,589 --> 00:12:30,660 The, you know, you look, you look a little tired. 392 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:32,550 LANs is, you look replaceable, right? 393 00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:36,030 So we have to remind ourselves that we can't 394 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,099 just export raw emotion. 395 00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:40,709 We have to expert consider direction. 396 00:12:41,405 --> 00:12:44,705 Intention and man, the, the startup world 397 00:12:44,705 --> 00:12:46,385 does punish venting. 398 00:12:46,535 --> 00:12:46,925 Right? 399 00:12:47,015 --> 00:12:47,765 It yeah. 400 00:12:47,885 --> 00:12:49,355 Rewards composed clarity. 401 00:12:49,475 --> 00:12:49,655 Right. 402 00:12:49,655 --> 00:12:50,240 It does like, right. 403 00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:51,550 We like honesty again, clarity. 404 00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:52,430 That is a great way to put 405 00:12:52,435 --> 00:12:52,505 it. 406 00:12:52,925 --> 00:12:53,105 Yeah. 407 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,035 Package that shit a little 408 00:12:54,035 --> 00:12:54,305 bit 409 00:12:54,305 --> 00:12:55,895 before you throw it at us. 410 00:12:56,135 --> 00:13:00,755 If I could Marty McFly back to my 1990 self and, you 411 00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:02,705 know, go back to that version of that CEO and kind of, 412 00:13:02,735 --> 00:13:05,135 you know, uh, try to, uh, convince him differently. 413 00:13:05,435 --> 00:13:05,525 Yeah. 414 00:13:05,525 --> 00:13:06,335 Here's what I would've said. 415 00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,695 I would've said, how you're acting is fine. 416 00:13:10,334 --> 00:13:12,015 When you're not at work, right. 417 00:13:12,495 --> 00:13:15,495 Be a, an idiot, 27-year-old doing idiot things. 418 00:13:15,824 --> 00:13:15,975 Yeah. 419 00:13:16,005 --> 00:13:16,755 Not at work. 420 00:13:16,814 --> 00:13:18,735 When, when you leave the office, right. 421 00:13:18,824 --> 00:13:21,314 And, and you're in your own private domain, be the 422 00:13:21,314 --> 00:13:22,185 idiot that you want to be. 423 00:13:22,185 --> 00:13:22,245 Yeah. 424 00:13:22,485 --> 00:13:22,785 Right. 425 00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:23,954 And you, you've earned that. 426 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:27,045 But the moment you walk through this door, you have 427 00:13:27,045 --> 00:13:27,824 to be a different person. 428 00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:28,860 Right. 429 00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:31,620 Uh, because that person, while you know you wanna 430 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:33,300 make jokes and you want to engage with everybody, 431 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,910 you wanna be everybody's friend, is absolutely 432 00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:37,920 inappropriate in this office. 433 00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:41,520 And so what's interesting is I don't think, at the time, again, 434 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,540 I didn't have the maturity yet. 435 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,175 I didn't understand that two people could exist. 436 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,250 And it felt inauthentic, if I'm being honest. 437 00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:50,160 But now when I look back and I look at a lot of the people 438 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,530 that I've worked with over the years that were older and 439 00:13:52,530 --> 00:13:55,080 certainly more mature than me, that's exactly what they did. 440 00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:56,640 And they did it to great effect. 441 00:13:56,730 --> 00:13:57,030 Yeah. 442 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,160 They, they, they, they, they put on their, um, 443 00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:02,340 their work uniform, so to speak, and did work stuff. 444 00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:04,199 And then when they were done, they took it off 445 00:14:04,199 --> 00:14:06,120 and did whatever the hell they do otherwise. 446 00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:08,160 I wish I understood that better back then. 447 00:14:08,699 --> 00:14:08,910 Yeah. 448 00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,295 And it's funny to me that like. 449 00:14:11,189 --> 00:14:13,110 We do have a hard time seeing that, especially in the 450 00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:16,020 beginning because it becomes so apparent in other parts of life. 451 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:19,050 Like the way I act with my spouse is very different than 452 00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:21,510 the way I act with my kids, than the way I act with my 453 00:14:21,689 --> 00:14:25,949 soccer teammates than the way I act with my my parents, right? 454 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:29,699 And so like we have these different versions of our 455 00:14:29,699 --> 00:14:32,130 persona that we utilize on a regular basis. 456 00:14:32,665 --> 00:14:35,515 I think that we need to recognize more that like 457 00:14:35,665 --> 00:14:37,705 the one that probably needs the most cultivation one 458 00:14:37,705 --> 00:14:39,475 that's gonna come to us least naturally because we're not 459 00:14:39,475 --> 00:14:41,785 gonna have had other examples of it just floating around 460 00:14:41,785 --> 00:14:42,715 us for our entire lives. 461 00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:45,865 Um, and that maybe we don't have the same feedback 462 00:14:45,865 --> 00:14:48,955 loops and mechanisms is that as a founder right? 463 00:14:49,165 --> 00:14:53,995 To we have to be careful and it's, it's not inauthentic 464 00:14:54,205 --> 00:14:56,155 to act differently at work. 465 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:57,360 That's what we used to call. 466 00:14:58,335 --> 00:14:59,564 Being professional. 467 00:14:59,805 --> 00:15:00,105 Right. 468 00:15:00,105 --> 00:15:00,555 Which I know, 469 00:15:00,975 --> 00:15:02,505 I was gonna say the same thing going out the 470 00:15:02,505 --> 00:15:05,655 window, probably in an office that nobody goes to anymore. 471 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,845 That window might even be there anymore for all I know. 472 00:15:08,235 --> 00:15:11,205 But, but isn't it amazing though that like, um, it it, 473 00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:12,915 we've gotten to a point where it doesn't even occur to us 474 00:15:12,915 --> 00:15:15,345 that, that we may need another version of ourselves, right? 475 00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:15,405 Yeah. 476 00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:18,435 Again, we, we've, we've pounded this narrative into ourselves 477 00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:20,985 so heavily that I have to be true and authentic, et cetera. 478 00:15:21,314 --> 00:15:24,705 With that, with that narrative, we've lost the concept that 479 00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:26,235 there is a consequence to that. 480 00:15:26,265 --> 00:15:27,375 Like, that's not free. 481 00:15:27,795 --> 00:15:30,765 You don't get just to say whatever you want and have no 482 00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:33,494 consequence or worse get angry. 483 00:15:33,795 --> 00:15:33,885 Yeah. 484 00:15:33,885 --> 00:15:35,834 When someone, you know, when things don't go your way 485 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,564 because you were being honest, your coworker comes to you or 486 00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:41,415 something that your employee, let's say, comes to you and 487 00:15:41,415 --> 00:15:43,574 said, I'm really struggling with how things are going. 488 00:15:43,574 --> 00:15:45,255 I'm really unhappy with, with my role, you know, 489 00:15:45,555 --> 00:15:46,935 whatever their concern is. 490 00:15:46,964 --> 00:15:47,295 Okay. 491 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,125 And you've got a couple different ways you 492 00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:50,055 can go with it, right? 493 00:15:50,474 --> 00:15:53,265 One is you can say, you know, honestly, you should probably 494 00:15:53,265 --> 00:15:54,165 be looking for another job. 495 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:58,740 You could just be dead honest and, and I'm sure there's 496 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:00,810 folks that would do that and, and I bet the folks that are 497 00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:03,600 doing that go home and tell their spouse that's exactly 498 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,470 what they needed to hear. 499 00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,210 Probably not by the way. 500 00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:10,230 You know, I think that's one of the, I think that's one 501 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,350 of the easy traps too, which is that there's this sense 502 00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:15,930 that by saying that, like, oh, I got that off my chest. 503 00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:16,080 Right. 504 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,610 I handled that as cleanly as I could have. 505 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:18,240 Yep. 506 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,230 For you. 507 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:23,340 However, person on the other side, it's, I think we, we 508 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:25,050 always have to be careful and this maybe this is simple and 509 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,510 easy litmus test as you're thinking about how it's gonna 510 00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:30,300 be received, if your honesty is gonna make you feel lighter. 511 00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:32,655 Your team, your investors, whoever, whoever the, 512 00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:33,585 the recipient's gonna be. 513 00:16:33,585 --> 00:16:34,275 Feel heavier. 514 00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:36,795 It's probably not great leadership. 515 00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:38,235 Probably not what was needed at 516 00:16:38,235 --> 00:16:38,295 the 517 00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:38,505 moment. 518 00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:41,505 You know, something that's really funny about everything 519 00:16:41,505 --> 00:16:44,985 we talk about here is that none of it is new. 520 00:16:45,225 --> 00:16:47,805 Everything you're dealing with right now has been done a 521 00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:51,645 thousand times before you, which means the answer already exists. 522 00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:52,665 You may just not know it. 523 00:16:52,730 --> 00:16:53,510 But that's okay. 524 00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:55,700 That's kind of what we're here to do. 525 00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:58,340 We talk about this stuff on the show, but we actually 526 00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:02,480 solve these problems all dayLong@groups.startups.com. 527 00:17:02,540 --> 00:17:05,839 So if any of this sounds familiar, stop guessing 528 00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:08,870 about what to do, let us just give you the answers to the 529 00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:10,220 test and be done with it. 530 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:13,560 Brian, I don't think a lot of people, just as humans really 531 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,790 understand that balance or, or that transaction, right? 532 00:17:17,790 --> 00:17:20,129 So, for example, I see a lot of this. 533 00:17:20,159 --> 00:17:23,520 I see, well, I said what was honest, I said how I felt, 534 00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:25,649 but they responded poorly. 535 00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:27,720 And I'm like, well, hold on a second. 536 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,899 Um, you're pretending as if your honesty was gonna 537 00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:32,250 have no impact, right? 538 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:33,540 To your point, it made you feel better. 539 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,300 It made you feel better, but you're pretending 540 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,340 like that there was gonna be no consequence 541 00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:39,209 to what you just said. 542 00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:40,709 Yeah, and I see this all the time. 543 00:17:40,709 --> 00:17:42,389 I see this like in, you know, marriages and stuff where, 544 00:17:42,389 --> 00:17:45,360 where I, I see people going back and forth and they're 545 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,969 like, well, you know, he or she doesn't understand, 546 00:17:48,149 --> 00:17:48,899 doesn't understand me. 547 00:17:48,899 --> 00:17:50,219 I was like, it's because you haven't listened 548 00:17:50,219 --> 00:17:50,504 to them whatsoever. 549 00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:53,155 Or you've just been shitty. 550 00:17:53,755 --> 00:17:56,995 And, and I always think about, and I ask people, I say, if 551 00:17:56,995 --> 00:17:59,425 you were them, how would you be processing that situation? 552 00:17:59,815 --> 00:18:01,435 Time and time again, they're like, I have no idea. 553 00:18:01,945 --> 00:18:02,095 Yeah. 554 00:18:02,155 --> 00:18:03,175 I'm like, I like boom. 555 00:18:03,385 --> 00:18:04,405 Probably you exercise zero. 556 00:18:04,405 --> 00:18:04,705 Empathy. 557 00:18:05,635 --> 00:18:06,475 I'm the opposite. 558 00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:10,555 Like, I process every situation by how the 559 00:18:10,555 --> 00:18:11,665 other person processes it. 560 00:18:11,665 --> 00:18:13,975 Like that's, that is my first instinct on everything. 561 00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:16,675 And, and that's not always the right way to approach either. 562 00:18:16,765 --> 00:18:18,865 My, my wife will tell me, I'll, I'll come home and she's like. 563 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,550 You should have said something different. 564 00:18:20,610 --> 00:18:20,760 Right? 565 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,920 I was like, ah, I would, I'd hurt their feelings or whatever. 566 00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:25,440 And she's like, yeah, but you didn't get your point across. 567 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:26,125 I'm like, yeah, that's fair. 568 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:26,970 Yeah. 569 00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:29,160 But again, that's, that's the, I think we've gotten so 570 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,240 used to self-edit editing. 571 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:30,810 Mm-hmm. 572 00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:34,920 Um, again, it's that, that 96% of the time, or 94% of 573 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,490 the time where, you know, we are, we are not saying 574 00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:40,770 exactly what's on our mind, and we are, we're constantly 575 00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:42,300 considering the audience, and we've talked about this in 576 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,040 a number of different ways, but I, I keep seeing it come 577 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,130 back to the forefront, which is that, especially early on. 578 00:18:47,534 --> 00:18:52,004 Founders are constantly in pitch mode that it's easy 579 00:18:52,004 --> 00:18:55,544 to lose sight of the, the fact that we are kind of 580 00:18:55,544 --> 00:18:58,064 constantly editing, constantly worrying about the reactions 581 00:18:58,064 --> 00:19:00,945 to things, and it can go, it can go way too far, right? 582 00:19:00,945 --> 00:19:03,585 Like if you, if you're a hundred percent edited all the time, 583 00:19:04,274 --> 00:19:08,024 probably an ingredient we forgot to list into our recipe for 584 00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:09,855 epic burnout a couple weeks ago. 585 00:19:09,855 --> 00:19:11,560 But it's definitely, yeah, it can go the other direction too. 586 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:15,510 For a lot of people, it's hard to express how they feel or, or 587 00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:17,909 you know, they don't have the confidence to express, like I 588 00:19:17,909 --> 00:19:21,270 have the confidence to express it, but I also have the filter 589 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,340 to be able to say, what is the cost of that expression? 590 00:19:23,610 --> 00:19:23,850 Yeah, 591 00:19:23,939 --> 00:19:24,270 right. 592 00:19:24,570 --> 00:19:26,399 Somebody's behind on a deadline, I'm just making some up. 593 00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:29,189 Somebody's behind on a deadline and I just run the calculus. 594 00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:32,280 I say, is my reaction proportionate to how this 595 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:32,824 will affect the outcome? 596 00:19:33,495 --> 00:19:33,885 Right. 597 00:19:34,035 --> 00:19:36,045 In other words, if I blow up, but we've already 598 00:19:36,045 --> 00:19:37,965 missed the deadline, what am I really achieving? 599 00:19:38,025 --> 00:19:38,325 Yeah. 600 00:19:38,355 --> 00:19:39,075 What's happening, right? 601 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:39,260 Yeah. 602 00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:39,435 Yeah. 603 00:19:39,435 --> 00:19:39,585 Like, 604 00:19:39,585 --> 00:19:43,215 I'll feel better, but like, I haven't fixed the problem. 605 00:19:43,695 --> 00:19:45,495 And a lot of people don't have, don't even have 606 00:19:45,495 --> 00:19:46,485 that, that calculus. 607 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:46,754 Right? 608 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,045 They're just like, I'll feel better. 609 00:19:48,045 --> 00:19:48,900 That's, that's, 610 00:19:49,335 --> 00:19:49,665 that's it. 611 00:19:49,665 --> 00:19:49,935 Yeah. 612 00:19:50,235 --> 00:19:51,555 So I think that's, that's important. 613 00:19:51,645 --> 00:19:51,825 Right? 614 00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:54,345 I think if we, if we zoom out a little bit, what, what 615 00:19:54,345 --> 00:19:56,685 you just said, if I pair it back to you, it's something 616 00:19:56,685 --> 00:19:59,535 like, these are kinda like the, the filter checks a 617 00:19:59,535 --> 00:20:01,004 against the 6% time, right? 618 00:20:01,004 --> 00:20:01,695 Should I be honest? 619 00:20:02,175 --> 00:20:06,285 It would be something like what are the stakes, right? 620 00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:08,535 Is this a values or a character moment, right? 621 00:20:08,535 --> 00:20:10,845 Is there enough on the line that honesty really, 622 00:20:10,845 --> 00:20:11,775 really matters here, right? 623 00:20:12,285 --> 00:20:13,155 Who's the audience? 624 00:20:13,485 --> 00:20:15,615 Can they carry the weight of the honesty? 625 00:20:15,645 --> 00:20:17,265 'cause we have to consider that too. 626 00:20:17,685 --> 00:20:19,245 And then finally, the outcome, right? 627 00:20:19,245 --> 00:20:22,515 And will, we'll, saying this with honesty to this 628 00:20:22,515 --> 00:20:26,295 particular audience actually have a measurable positive 629 00:20:26,295 --> 00:20:30,465 impact or will blowing up just dishearten them even more. 630 00:20:30,975 --> 00:20:33,044 Knowing that we still have to go fix whatever 631 00:20:33,044 --> 00:20:33,970 we screwed up, right? 632 00:20:33,975 --> 00:20:34,095 Right. 633 00:20:34,095 --> 00:20:35,055 We missed the deadline. 634 00:20:35,205 --> 00:20:37,905 Now I'm gonna completely demotivate my team by, 635 00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:40,575 by harping about it and the deadline's gonna 636 00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:41,205 stretch even further. 637 00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:41,475 Right? 638 00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:43,845 So I think this is one of those things where like having 639 00:20:43,845 --> 00:20:46,514 a little bit of a framework, even just a quick mental model 640 00:20:46,514 --> 00:20:49,514 where you can jump through that and say like, is it time? 641 00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,195 Is this, is this a 6% moment? 642 00:20:51,254 --> 00:20:52,995 And the answer's 94% of the time? 643 00:20:52,995 --> 00:20:53,235 No. 644 00:20:53,534 --> 00:20:55,365 But I think you do need some way of measuring it. 645 00:20:55,725 --> 00:20:57,794 I think you'll appreciate this as a child of the 646 00:20:57,794 --> 00:21:00,405 eighties, every single time this moment comes up. 647 00:21:00,764 --> 00:21:03,975 I revert back to Arnold Schwartzenegger in Terminator. 648 00:21:04,455 --> 00:21:06,795 There's this scene where he, I, you know, you 649 00:21:06,795 --> 00:21:07,455 know what it is, right? 650 00:21:07,455 --> 00:21:08,715 And, and people are listening. 651 00:21:08,805 --> 00:21:09,945 They, they've gotta know what this is. 652 00:21:10,004 --> 00:21:10,425 Uh, yep. 653 00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:12,675 Where Schwartzenegger, the Terminator is sitting like 654 00:21:12,675 --> 00:21:15,225 in this derelict department and like, you know, the, the 655 00:21:15,285 --> 00:21:17,504 landlord knocks on the door and he's like, are you coming home? 656 00:21:17,955 --> 00:21:21,345 And the one of the best movie moments, he turns his 657 00:21:21,345 --> 00:21:24,050 head and they cut to what the Terminator is seeing. 658 00:21:24,395 --> 00:21:24,485 Right? 659 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:24,935 Yes. 660 00:21:25,264 --> 00:21:26,945 So they cut the terminator, it's like a terminal 661 00:21:26,945 --> 00:21:30,245 view, and it shows like six possible responses. 662 00:21:30,514 --> 00:21:30,754 Uhhuh, right? 663 00:21:31,145 --> 00:21:33,514 And it's like, yes, no, please come back later. 664 00:21:33,845 --> 00:21:35,795 And then the bottom one is, fuck you, asshole. 665 00:21:36,035 --> 00:21:36,275 Right? 666 00:21:37,264 --> 00:21:39,035 He just cursors down to that one. 667 00:21:39,035 --> 00:21:39,365 Right. 668 00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:40,355 And goes with that. 669 00:21:40,355 --> 00:21:40,625 Yeah. 670 00:21:41,045 --> 00:21:43,145 And I always think about that moment. 671 00:21:43,475 --> 00:21:43,565 Yeah. 672 00:21:43,565 --> 00:21:46,385 When this kind of situation comes and like all of a sudden 673 00:21:46,385 --> 00:21:49,565 my terminal pops up and I have five possible responses. 674 00:21:49,739 --> 00:21:50,070 Right. 675 00:21:50,489 --> 00:21:51,330 I never get to choose. 676 00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:52,229 Fuck you asshole, by the way. 677 00:21:52,590 --> 00:21:52,889 Yeah. 678 00:21:52,889 --> 00:21:55,560 Look, I think when you're Arnold Schwartzenegger as the 679 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,489 Terminator, I think you probably shift to at least like a 64. 680 00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:02,489 You can be honest, pretty much most of the time, not all the 681 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:03,330 time, but most of the time, 682 00:22:03,810 --> 00:22:05,669 am I returning to an Android from the future? 683 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,080 Uh, my, my decision tree will be different. 684 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,719 But I always think about that moment, whereas like, 685 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:12,689 okay, all of these choose your own adventure answers 686 00:22:12,689 --> 00:22:13,469 to what just happened. 687 00:22:14,010 --> 00:22:17,040 All have like, you know, consequences attached to 'em. 688 00:22:17,850 --> 00:22:20,850 And I just basically do a sort and I say, which one 689 00:22:20,850 --> 00:22:23,490 has the, the, uh, least likely consequence or the 690 00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:24,750 most beneficial consequence? 691 00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:28,199 And, and again, and by the way, like there's, uh, actually 692 00:22:28,199 --> 00:22:31,139 no, we have some folks that are actual therapists in our 693 00:22:31,139 --> 00:22:33,360 audience and they'll say, will you do not wanna do that? 694 00:22:33,570 --> 00:22:35,969 You're sacrificing a lot of your own wellbeing, you know, 695 00:22:36,179 --> 00:22:37,379 for the situation, et cetera. 696 00:22:38,129 --> 00:22:39,389 Welcome to the founder Life, baby. 697 00:22:39,389 --> 00:22:39,719 Yeah. 698 00:22:40,585 --> 00:22:43,345 Like, I'm kind of willing to, but it's been interesting 699 00:22:43,345 --> 00:22:47,125 because when I look back at, you know, just a million moments 700 00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:50,335 where I've had that decision tree, I don't look back at a 701 00:22:50,335 --> 00:22:54,595 moment or very rarely where I say to myself, I wish I had 702 00:22:54,595 --> 00:22:55,915 been more, more authentic. 703 00:22:56,185 --> 00:22:58,675 Now when I say that, it's because I was 704 00:22:58,675 --> 00:23:01,190 probably too authentic and it bit me in the ass. 705 00:23:01,925 --> 00:23:02,165 Right. 706 00:23:02,165 --> 00:23:04,264 Like in other words, like I almost go the other. 707 00:23:04,294 --> 00:23:06,304 If you have authentic on one side where you just say 708 00:23:06,304 --> 00:23:08,524 whatever the fuck you want, you have diplomatic on the 709 00:23:08,524 --> 00:23:10,475 other where you just give like the most party line 710 00:23:10,475 --> 00:23:11,465 answer you possibly could. 711 00:23:11,465 --> 00:23:11,524 Yeah. 712 00:23:12,064 --> 00:23:14,915 I wish in more of those occasions I had gone more 713 00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:18,635 diplomatic than authentic, even with that filter, because 714 00:23:18,635 --> 00:23:20,885 again, my default is kind of to say what's on my mind, you. 715 00:23:21,945 --> 00:23:23,385 Uh, lived with me for a long time. 716 00:23:23,774 --> 00:23:24,014 Yes. 717 00:23:24,014 --> 00:23:26,925 You know, that, and, and I kind of wish I'd gone the other way. 718 00:23:26,925 --> 00:23:30,074 And over time I'm starting to try to like push my, 719 00:23:30,104 --> 00:23:33,854 my dial toward that more diplomatic side and just be 720 00:23:33,854 --> 00:23:35,834 like, look what I have to say. 721 00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:39,735 Uh, what, what authentic response I have probably 722 00:23:39,735 --> 00:23:40,754 isn't the right response. 723 00:23:41,054 --> 00:23:42,435 And frankly, no one wants to hear it. 724 00:23:43,260 --> 00:23:44,280 That's the thing, man. 725 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:45,630 You start to realize like my, 726 00:23:45,690 --> 00:23:48,330 my inside voice, my inner voice needs an NDA, right? 727 00:23:49,110 --> 00:23:53,070 Like, it, it, it has to have some filtration. 728 00:23:53,070 --> 00:23:54,600 It's funny, man, I get, I get the comment. 729 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,660 I'm sure you get this too, because we, we do deliver a 730 00:23:57,660 --> 00:23:59,160 lot of hard truths to founders. 731 00:23:59,190 --> 00:23:59,850 Yeah, we do. 732 00:23:59,850 --> 00:24:02,790 And once a week-ish, I hear somebody say, you 733 00:24:02,790 --> 00:24:03,600 know what I like about you? 734 00:24:04,350 --> 00:24:05,280 Just give it to me straight. 735 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:06,690 There's no filter, there's no bullshit. 736 00:24:06,690 --> 00:24:10,200 And inside I'm thinking, oh, if only you knew, right? 737 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,270 If you turn that filter off, you, you would hang 738 00:24:12,270 --> 00:24:13,020 up the phone immediately. 739 00:24:13,020 --> 00:24:14,730 Give an unvarnished version of my opinion there. 740 00:24:14,730 --> 00:24:16,530 I, I definitely dialed it up a bit. 741 00:24:16,530 --> 00:24:19,080 I put a little grit in the sand, uh, or a little grit, 742 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,160 more grit on the sandpaper. 743 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,040 But like, that was not as rough as that could have been. 744 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,900 But because people don't want it, right? 745 00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:27,090 Yes, they want honest feedback, but they don't wanna be 746 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:28,080 punched in the face with it. 747 00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:30,210 They don't wanna be made to feel badly because of it. 748 00:24:30,750 --> 00:24:33,780 Um, you know, I think somebody said something along the 749 00:24:33,780 --> 00:24:38,190 lines of once it was draft in rage, ship in revision. 750 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:39,000 Right. 751 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,380 Which I thought was hysterical. 752 00:24:40,530 --> 00:24:40,890 Right. 753 00:24:40,890 --> 00:24:43,770 And, and, and it's, it's perfect for me because 754 00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:45,060 I do have a temper. 755 00:24:45,210 --> 00:24:45,480 Right? 756 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,640 I do, I do emotionally react to stuff. 757 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:47,880 Right. 758 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,160 It part of what I like about me in a lot of ways, like 759 00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:51,540 I'm, because it's, I react. 760 00:24:52,064 --> 00:24:53,115 Emotionally happy as well. 761 00:24:53,115 --> 00:24:55,064 It's not always just like I'm pissed, right? 762 00:24:55,064 --> 00:24:59,625 I, I'm, I'm a very ragey bear and so for me, I, I loved the 763 00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:03,014 idea that it's like I don't have to just shut that emotion down. 764 00:25:03,629 --> 00:25:05,760 Again, I can be that person, right? 765 00:25:05,909 --> 00:25:09,360 I just can't unfiltered share that version with the 766 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:10,740 person who's gonna receive that communication because 767 00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:11,429 it's not gonna land well. 768 00:25:11,699 --> 00:25:12,000 Right? 769 00:25:12,449 --> 00:25:14,909 Uh, unfiltered for coffee time, not, not for your 770 00:25:14,909 --> 00:25:15,870 corporate communications. 771 00:25:16,290 --> 00:25:19,740 This happened to me yesterday and I slipped and I said 772 00:25:19,740 --> 00:25:20,730 what I actually meant. 773 00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:23,940 And it was hilarious how badly it went that I had 774 00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:24,870 to recover immediately. 775 00:25:25,139 --> 00:25:26,700 Wait, dude, are you talking about when you said 776 00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,290 nice job on that, Ryan? 777 00:25:30,060 --> 00:25:31,230 I'm looking at it right now. 778 00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:32,129 In the Slack channel? 779 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,050 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 780 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:34,260 Uh, erase. 781 00:25:34,325 --> 00:25:36,629 I, I was talking to a founder and we're reviewing a pitch 782 00:25:36,629 --> 00:25:39,600 deck and they said, okay, so current version I've got, 783 00:25:39,659 --> 00:25:42,060 which they spent a lot of time on, how would you rank it? 784 00:25:42,210 --> 00:25:44,490 And I said, well, on a scale of one to 10, I would give 785 00:25:44,490 --> 00:25:45,659 it a solid negative 10. 786 00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:49,725 Oh, now, now, now that's actually how I felt. 787 00:25:50,324 --> 00:25:50,595 Right? 788 00:25:50,655 --> 00:25:52,125 You were like, option five. 789 00:25:52,574 --> 00:25:53,179 Fuck you asshole. 790 00:25:53,179 --> 00:25:53,419 Exactly. 791 00:25:53,425 --> 00:25:53,985 Fuck you asshole. 792 00:25:54,945 --> 00:25:57,975 Soon as I said it, and I was kidding, but 793 00:25:57,975 --> 00:25:58,784 I was honest, right? 794 00:25:58,784 --> 00:26:00,179 Like I like, and I was laughing when I said it. 795 00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:03,780 And were they No silent? 796 00:26:03,780 --> 00:26:03,840 Yeah. 797 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,070 Just went like dead silent. 798 00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:06,480 They did not, I was like, whoa, shit. 799 00:26:06,780 --> 00:26:07,770 And I said, I'm kidding. 800 00:26:07,890 --> 00:26:08,820 It's probably a five. 801 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,670 And that, that also wasn't like, that was me recovering. 802 00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:13,170 And that also wasn't the number they were looking for 803 00:26:13,170 --> 00:26:15,000 the, the, and I thought it was like a seven or eight 804 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,650 and I had to spend all the rest of the time trying to 805 00:26:16,650 --> 00:26:19,020 explain why I was giving the, the grade that it did. 806 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:24,270 But it was funny that like I mistakenly was honest, right? 807 00:26:24,270 --> 00:26:24,330 Yeah. 808 00:26:24,330 --> 00:26:27,420 Like that founder, there was nothing gained by me 809 00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,379 saying it's a negative 10. 810 00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:32,700 And, and again, I was kidding when I said it, but it, it 811 00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:34,020 was a negative 10, right? 812 00:26:34,350 --> 00:26:35,130 It was a negative 10. 813 00:26:35,130 --> 00:26:37,200 As in you have to rewrite the whole goddamn thing. 814 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:37,380 Yeah. 815 00:26:37,410 --> 00:26:37,705 There's a lot. 816 00:26:37,975 --> 00:26:39,450 There's nothing salvageable here. 817 00:26:39,810 --> 00:26:41,970 Now, I would normally never say that to a founder, but I'm 818 00:26:41,970 --> 00:26:44,940 going back to what you said a moment ago, which is the founder 819 00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:47,520 wants me to be, you know, uh, uh, the hard truth get, get. 820 00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:49,200 They don't, no one wants that. 821 00:26:49,395 --> 00:26:49,875 Right. 822 00:26:50,085 --> 00:26:52,275 They wanna believe they're getting the hard truth, 823 00:26:52,455 --> 00:26:54,345 but they don't actually want the hard truth. 824 00:26:54,345 --> 00:26:55,935 It's you when you walk into an authentic 825 00:26:55,935 --> 00:26:58,935 Thai restaurant and you're like, I like spicy food. 826 00:26:58,935 --> 00:27:00,254 And they're like, do you really? 827 00:27:00,254 --> 00:27:01,514 And you're like, I think I do. 828 00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:02,685 You're like your version of 829 00:27:02,685 --> 00:27:03,555 spicy food, right? 830 00:27:03,555 --> 00:27:03,885 Yeah. 831 00:27:03,889 --> 00:27:03,940 Yeah. 832 00:27:04,335 --> 00:27:06,075 So net of it, uh, I had to recover. 833 00:27:06,315 --> 00:27:08,805 But again, this is, this is something small and I, I 834 00:27:08,805 --> 00:27:10,340 always say that if I had to. 835 00:27:10,950 --> 00:27:13,350 Say everything that was on my mind, I took that, you 836 00:27:13,350 --> 00:27:14,820 know, five option filter off. 837 00:27:14,820 --> 00:27:14,830 Yeah. 838 00:27:14,830 --> 00:27:14,880 Yeah. 839 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,890 And I could just say exactly how I felt about things. 840 00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:19,050 I would have no friends by the end of the week. 841 00:27:19,290 --> 00:27:21,420 That's not because I'm repressing these things, or I 842 00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:22,530 have all these evil thoughts. 843 00:27:22,650 --> 00:27:22,965 Yeah, yeah. 844 00:27:23,310 --> 00:27:27,510 It's because there is a certain diplomacy with delivering 845 00:27:27,510 --> 00:27:29,220 any kind of message, right. 846 00:27:29,460 --> 00:27:30,780 When someone says, how do I look? 847 00:27:30,780 --> 00:27:32,430 And you say, you look like hell, you've actually looked better. 848 00:27:32,430 --> 00:27:33,510 You've gained a lot of weight, blah, blah. 849 00:27:33,540 --> 00:27:35,190 Like no one wants to hear. 850 00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:36,600 That is Yes, that's absolutely true. 851 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:37,860 No one wants to hear that. 852 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:38,130 Right. 853 00:27:38,130 --> 00:27:39,480 That's why I don't comment on Facebook. 854 00:27:39,780 --> 00:27:39,960 Yeah. 855 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,020 I mean, what they wanna hear is that's, that's 856 00:27:43,020 --> 00:27:43,890 a great shirt, right? 857 00:27:43,890 --> 00:27:44,010 Yeah. 858 00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:44,700 Or whatever, right? 859 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:48,600 Like no one says, how do I look as in please berate me. 860 00:27:49,410 --> 00:27:49,620 Yeah. 861 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,020 That's, I dunno where that question comes from. 862 00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:52,530 Anyway. 863 00:27:52,890 --> 00:27:55,950 I think where, where this gets interesting is we all 864 00:27:55,950 --> 00:27:57,540 have to look inward, right? 865 00:27:57,780 --> 00:28:00,510 We all have to look inward and, and say, how much of my 866 00:28:00,510 --> 00:28:02,100 authenticity is a benefit? 867 00:28:02,595 --> 00:28:05,805 And I, I think what you're gonna find, Ryan, is not that 868 00:28:05,805 --> 00:28:10,365 much, I can't think of a lot of cases where like, I wish that 869 00:28:10,365 --> 00:28:13,455 person when they said something shitty was even more shitty. 870 00:28:13,875 --> 00:28:14,295 You know what I mean? 871 00:28:14,295 --> 00:28:14,850 Like, I, 872 00:28:15,375 --> 00:28:15,915 I don't see it. 873 00:28:16,245 --> 00:28:16,395 Yeah. 874 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,055 I, I don't either. 875 00:28:17,055 --> 00:28:19,004 Generally speaking, I think there's a, there's another 876 00:28:19,004 --> 00:28:22,635 little litmus test that I do around, like the channel I'm 877 00:28:22,635 --> 00:28:23,985 using to communicate, right? 878 00:28:24,045 --> 00:28:24,315 Yeah. 879 00:28:24,315 --> 00:28:25,754 Is it hot, warm, or cold? 880 00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:27,120 Oh, good point. 881 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:27,270 Yeah. 882 00:28:27,270 --> 00:28:28,919 So hot, like one-on-one. 883 00:28:28,919 --> 00:28:31,379 We're live, we're we're sitting in the same room or we're on 884 00:28:31,379 --> 00:28:32,399 a video call or something. 885 00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:35,250 This is where I can, I can use it, you know, 886 00:28:35,310 --> 00:28:36,060 some, a bit of honesty. 887 00:28:36,060 --> 00:28:38,370 For, for emotion or, or for correction. 888 00:28:38,460 --> 00:28:40,830 Uh, if it's needed, if it's a warm environment. 889 00:28:40,889 --> 00:28:41,159 Right. 890 00:28:41,159 --> 00:28:42,000 Like team meet. 891 00:28:42,550 --> 00:28:44,290 Like our, our, our biweekly meeting. 892 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,480 I think a little honesty there for direction 893 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:47,950 and for context, right? 894 00:28:47,950 --> 00:28:49,899 I think people always love a little bit of the, you know, 895 00:28:49,899 --> 00:28:52,000 when, when we're making big, sweeping product changes and 896 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,679 we give a little bit of the why behind that, it makes 897 00:28:53,679 --> 00:28:55,899 people feel like, okay, there, there's some reason for this. 898 00:28:55,899 --> 00:28:57,610 Like there's a little bit of more and more audience, right? 899 00:28:57,610 --> 00:28:58,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 900 00:28:58,540 --> 00:29:02,590 And then if it's cold like Slack or email. 901 00:29:03,014 --> 00:29:06,045 There's gonna be very little of that honesty because Yep. 902 00:29:06,045 --> 00:29:09,615 Without the context, without that ability to kind of see 903 00:29:09,615 --> 00:29:11,895 what's behind, like short of, you know, stacking up some 904 00:29:11,895 --> 00:29:14,295 emojis so that people can be very clear exactly what 905 00:29:14,295 --> 00:29:15,254 I'm trying to convey there. 906 00:29:15,585 --> 00:29:16,965 That can just be so misconstrued. 907 00:29:16,965 --> 00:29:19,545 And so I think that for me, I'm always. 908 00:29:20,055 --> 00:29:21,915 Really thinking about like, based on the medium where I'm 909 00:29:21,915 --> 00:29:25,605 gonna share this information, how open to misinterpretation? 910 00:29:25,635 --> 00:29:27,195 Is it the story you were telling? 911 00:29:27,405 --> 00:29:28,875 How quickly can I course correct? 912 00:29:29,145 --> 00:29:29,385 Right. 913 00:29:29,385 --> 00:29:32,805 How, how can I recover because find if I, you know, etch 914 00:29:32,805 --> 00:29:35,055 this into a plaque and then staple it to the front of 915 00:29:35,055 --> 00:29:36,225 our, our business, right? 916 00:29:36,225 --> 00:29:36,945 Like our, our motto. 917 00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:37,155 Yeah. 918 00:29:37,455 --> 00:29:37,905 Right. 919 00:29:37,905 --> 00:29:40,155 Uh, money first customers will always be there. 920 00:29:40,515 --> 00:29:40,875 Right. 921 00:29:41,565 --> 00:29:43,065 That's probably not a great thing because 922 00:29:43,065 --> 00:29:43,695 I can't change that. 923 00:29:43,695 --> 00:29:45,255 I don't get to choose how people react to it. 924 00:29:45,255 --> 00:29:45,345 Right. 925 00:29:45,345 --> 00:29:47,085 But if I say something in a meeting and I can 926 00:29:47,085 --> 00:29:48,000 see someone's reaction. 927 00:29:48,635 --> 00:29:50,525 And I can go, Ooh, that didn't land quite like, 928 00:29:50,675 --> 00:29:51,425 like I thought it would. 929 00:29:51,425 --> 00:29:52,264 A little too honest. 930 00:29:52,504 --> 00:29:54,185 We've got some ability to to recover. 931 00:29:54,185 --> 00:29:55,925 So I think that's an important consideration too. 932 00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:58,590 I think the real lesson for a lot of folks, and I 933 00:29:58,590 --> 00:30:00,150 think what you and I have learned over time, over 934 00:30:00,150 --> 00:30:02,820 decades of kind of trying to practice this diplomacy, 935 00:30:03,150 --> 00:30:06,720 is our job isn't to be the real self, authentic self. 936 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,040 That's actually not our job. 937 00:30:08,070 --> 00:30:08,220 No. 938 00:30:08,250 --> 00:30:11,460 That may be who we wanna be as people, but our job has a 939 00:30:11,460 --> 00:30:15,420 consequence, a consequence that we have to take very seriously. 940 00:30:15,660 --> 00:30:17,850 And that consequence is what we're managing toward when we 941 00:30:17,850 --> 00:30:20,820 show up and, and we're that that person that is the CEO, the 942 00:30:20,820 --> 00:30:24,840 founder, the leader or whatever that person has to have. 943 00:30:25,045 --> 00:30:26,215 Consequence in mind. 944 00:30:26,485 --> 00:30:29,545 And, and with that outcome in mind, every single thing 945 00:30:29,545 --> 00:30:32,215 out of your mouth should be what will maximize outcome? 946 00:30:32,485 --> 00:30:33,565 What will maximize outcome? 947 00:30:33,565 --> 00:30:37,135 My authenticity, my true self comes second to consequence, 948 00:30:37,285 --> 00:30:38,515 comes second to outcome. 949 00:30:38,665 --> 00:30:42,965 And at which point you realize that outcome is actually what, 950 00:30:43,195 --> 00:30:47,125 what you're moving toward, then that real self probably 951 00:30:47,125 --> 00:30:48,685 applies 6% of the time. 952 00:30:48,775 --> 00:30:51,295 And that's just fine so long as the outcome is there. 953 00:30:51,295 --> 00:30:53,425 Who you are matches perfectly. 954 00:30:54,419 --> 00:30:56,280 Overthinking your startup because you're going it alone. 955 00:30:56,669 --> 00:30:59,520 You don't have to, and honestly, you shouldn't because instead, 956 00:30:59,580 --> 00:31:02,669 you can learn directly from peers who've been in your shoes. 957 00:31:02,729 --> 00:31:05,070 Connect with bootstrap founders and the advisors 958 00:31:05,070 --> 00:31:07,500 helping them win in the startups.com community. 959 00:31:07,679 --> 00:31:12,300 Check out the startups.com community@www.startups.com 960 00:31:12,389 --> 00:31:13,320 to see if it's for you. 961 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,639 Could be just the thing you need. 962 00:31:14,850 --> 00:31:15,810 I hope to see you inside.