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Listen to Bonnie Ragan share her experience of working through betrayal trauma in her life and marriage so that she can now lead other wives and through their husband's lustful behaviour.
Show Notes
Make a tangible difference for FREE by joining the Action Squad at www.restoredministries.ca/actionsquad.
Welcome to episode #17! In this week's episode, Bonnie Ragan leads us through the process that wives go through when their husbands are engaged in porn so that both wives and husbands can understand the process from the wife's perspective.
Setting up a Marriage for Trouble
Bonnie was pregnant when she and Brian got married. During her pregnancy, Brian lied about an encounter he had with another woman, but came clean a year into marriage when the Lord convicted him to share. They didn't know of anywhere or anyone to go to for help, so they buried it for 20 years by never actively addressing the pain it caused and a path for healing. Bonnie was left with many unanswered questions about why he did it, whether or not she was good enough, and if she even knew the man she hard married.
The Grief-Filled Process is real - and takes time
There is a process of grief that a women will usually experience when finding out she's gotten 'Betrayal Trauma' stemming from her husband's porn use. Knowing the process can put her more at ease with what she's feeling and the questions she's asking herself. A wife will almost always feel that she is not good enough for her husband when finding out he's been engaging in sexual outlets outside of the marriage covenant.
You have to TALK!
When the husband is the one with the issue, it's easy for everyone to think he needs to work on things, but ignore the pain that the wife is experiencing from the sexual betrayal. Wives, find someone trustworthy to talk to. They don't have to have gone through the same trauma, though it might be advantageous to you if they have. Don't bottle it up. Lean into the Lord and talk to Him about your feelings as well. Tell Him all of your feelings and thoughts - no matter how irrational or crazy they may seem.
There is hope!
Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden share the not-so-dirty details of what God deems 'good' in the marriage bed.
Resources
Fight 4 Love Ministries: A biblical plan to get porn out of your marriage
Article on FamilyLifeCanada.com: Getting porn out of your life and marriage
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
There is a process of grief that a women will usually experience when finding out she's gotten 'Betrayal Trauma' stemming from her husband's porn use. Knowing the process can put her more at ease with what she's feeling and the questions she's asking herself. A wife will almost always feel that she is not good enough for her husband when finding out he's been engaging in sexual outlets outside of the marriage covenant.
You have to TALK!
When the husband is the one with the issue, it's easy for everyone to think he needs to work on things, but ignore the pain that the wife is experiencing from the sexual betrayal. Wives, find someone trustworthy to talk to. They don't have to have gone through the same trauma, though it might be advantageous to you if they have. Don't bottle it up. Lean into the Lord and talk to Him about your feelings as well. Tell Him all of your feelings and thoughts - no matter how irrational or crazy they may seem.
There is hope!
Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden share the not-so-dirty details of what God deems 'good' in the marriage bed.
Resources
Fight 4 Love Ministries: A biblical plan to get porn out of your marriage
Article on FamilyLifeCanada.com: Getting porn out of your life and marriage
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Article on restoredministries.ca - The Impact of Porn on Wives (And What To Do About It)
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
Creators & Guests
Host
Host
Matt Cline
Matt Cline is the founder and director of Restored Ministries, focused on leading men and women out of sexual bondage and into a life of impact and freedom in Christ. He is a leading speaker and coach in Canada on the topic of sexual brokenness and has seen countless lives radically changed all around the world. You can learn more about Restored Ministries at www.restoredministries.ca.
What is Pure Victory Podcast?
Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.