Richard: Yeah, up yours.
Dan: Up yours.
Intro: Up yours.
Intro: Everything is ready, my darling.
Richard: Hello and welcome to Hello This Is The Doom Show.
Richard: I am Richard.
Richard: Folks, I'm not important.
Richard: What's important is Dan.
Richard: Dan is here.
Richard: Hello.
Dan: It's me, Dan.
Richard: Welcome back, dude.
Richard: We haven't talked since we were both deranged.
Dan: Yeah, on here anyway.
Dan: You were a guest on our show.
Richard: Yeah, I was a guest on Corrupted Youth.
Richard: And it was frickin amazing.
Dan: Yeah, we talked Seventh Curse.
Richard: Oh, God, man, folks, go watch the Seventh Curse.
Richard: Go listen to Corrupted Youth.
Richard: It is a fine show.
Richard: But yeah, we did deranged like, like over 100 episodes ago.
Richard: It was forever.
Richard: And it was great.
Richard: That was back when your internet made you sound like you were on Neptune.
Richard: I was so relieved you could record your side of the audio.
Richard: And so when I got it, I was so shocked by how like, deep and rich and beautiful your voice is.
Richard: Because I was like, all I could hear was like walkie talkie, Dan, it was awesome.
Dan: Well, I'm glad that worked out because, oh man, I thought it wasn't going to work out because I drank all those scotch ales during the recording.
Richard: Oh my God.
Richard: Well, that's how anyone deals with me.
Richard: You know, need a need a little stiffer there, a little stiffener.
Dan: I don't I don't really do that anymore.
Dan: It's making it a lot better to edit.
Richard: I bet it is.
Richard: Yeah, I've drank on this show, maybe five times, maybe five times, but yeah, I just don't even bother anymore.
Richard: It's like, no, I need all the I need all the control I can get because otherwise I end up in a Bloody Movie, which is what we're talking about.
Dan: Oh, yeah.
Richard: We're talking about Terror Night, AKA Bloody Movie.
Richard: This was Dan's choice.
Richard: And boy, oh, boy, you have made a life choice.
Richard: This isn't this is a commitment.
Dan: I can't go back now.
Richard: Bloody Movie is directed by Nick Moreno, who was a producer on something very important, a little movie called Zombie Death House.
Richard: I want to rewatch, but I think Bloody Movie is better, to be honest.
Richard: He also produced Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, which has been avoiding me for many years.
Richard: I need to see that.
Richard: This was written by Kenneth J.
Richard: Hall, who was a special effects guy.
Richard: But he wrote, he was a writer on Nightmare Sisters and Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout.
Richard: And he contributed part of the story to Puppet Master.
Richard: So yeah, of course, he was one of the effects guys on Puppet Master.
Richard: And then for some reason, this had three other writers.
Richard: Dan, this took four writers.
Dan: Can you believe it?
Richard: No, I can't.
Richard: I mean, I mean, I mean, there's moments where I could see these overlapping personalities trying to get something across and failing.
Dan: well, I think it has four different ideas that are simultaneously going at the.
Richard: Here's a trailer for Terror Night AKA Bloody Movie.
Richard: It's quite wonderful.
Richard: And it sounds like this.
Trailer: Is this the first time you took part in the satanic ritual?
Trailer: What are you talking about?
Trailer: Of course.
Trailer: Neither of you knew that the grounds of the Hayward Estate is being used for satanic rituals.
Trailer: No, we didn't.
Trailer: John Ireland, Cameron Mitchell, Alan Hale, I said, who's out there?
Trailer: Aldo Ray, Daniel Haggerty, and Sam the Wonder Dog.
Trailer: In the terror of the night, some came to steal.
Trailer: Some came to worship.
Trailer: Wonderful.
Trailer: Yes, I'm great.
Richard: And because the internet is a kind, kind person, especially whoever used to run vhscollector.com, there is a glorious fricking tape here, which I will send to Dan, so he can take a look at it if he so chooses.
Richard: It's wonderful.
Richard: And it says on the front, it says, Lance Hayward's acting career may be over, but he's still knocking them dead.
Richard: On the back, it says, in Hollywood, real estate isn't cheap.
Richard: It will cost you an arm and a leg.
Richard: Lance Hayward, famous movie star of yesteryear, hasn't been seen or heard for over 15 years.
Richard: And now his dilapidated mansion is handed over to a property developer.
Richard: But there's more than a simple surprise in store for anyone who ventures onto his estate.
Richard: Lance is back and ready to live out the murderous screen roles he once portrayed.
Richard: Welcome to Terror Night.
Dan: Fantastic.
Richard: 81 minutes before we jump into this plot.
Richard: And when I warn you folks, this is spoiler country.
Richard: I say this a lot.
Richard: Yeah, this is a movie where we could spoil every single thing that happens, but you have to see it.
Richard: You have to see this shit to believe it.
Richard: It's not like a giallo or something we're going to reveal the killer.
Richard: This shit's just crazy.
Dan: Do you have the I have it on DVD?
Richard: Yes, I have the very same DVD.
Richard: I think you have.
Dan: Yes.
Richard: Retro media man.
Dan: The sleaziness of this DVD from the front of where it says from the producer of Dude, Where's My Car?
Richard: Yes, I kept reading that and I read that so many times that it went over my head.
Richard: I didn't write down even which producer produced Dude, Where's My Car?
Richard: That's incredible.
Richard: I have no idea.
Richard: We'll have to do a cast and crew comparison to find that.
Dan: I did figure out which one it was.
Richard: Oh, good.
Richard: OK.
Dan: This Nancy Paloan.
Richard: Yeah, that's how I would pronounce it, too, because she produced Zombie Death House as well.
Richard: And another choice film that Simon and I want to cover.
Richard: One of these days called Girlfriend from Hell, which is a magical little movie.
Richard: But yeah, dude, that's so funny.
Richard: I liked Dude, Where's My Car when it came out.
Richard: I remember laughing at the scene where they both got tattoos on the backs on their backs and they were telling each other what the tattoo was.
Richard: And they kept yelling louder and louder at each other.
Richard: It was very funny.
Dan: Dude, what does mine say?
Trailer: What about mine?
Trailer: Dude, what does mine say?
Dan: Not my jam.
Dan: I've never seen it.
Richard: It's it's real dumb.
Richard: I mean, as you probably imagine, it's really stupid.
Richard: Yeah.
Dan: So also on the on the back of this DVD where it says, See these faded stars die a horrible death.
Dan: Yeah, that's trashy.
Richard: That's very trashy.
Richard: Thank you for catching that.
Richard: And also, technically, Alan Hale doesn't actually die on camera, if I recall correctly.
Dan: Neither does one other actor.
Richard: Was it Aldo Rey?
Richard: Maybe.
Richard: Folks, that's the other thing about this movie is we I don't know about you, but I watched this last night.
Richard: And even with two pages and notes, I barely remember.
Richard: And so much.
Richard: This movie is so much.
Dan: I watched it last night and today.
Richard: Holy shit.
Richard: So you're you're like, what happened to my brain?
Dan: I think I know less than you do.
Richard: We'll guide each other through this.
Richard: I totally you know, we have a system on the show now where we do 10 key scenes to keep the plot stuff down to a minimum.
Richard: And I swear, if we went scene by scene, this would be a two parter or three hour episode.
Richard: This is this movie.
Richard: It's just so much and nothing is happening.
Richard: It's wonderful.
Richard: But we'll get to that when we get to that cast.
Richard: We'll go with the IMDb order of the cast here.
Richard: I won't go through everybody.
Richard: Thankfully, a few people in this movie didn't do anything else.
Richard: I was very happy for that.
Richard: So we got John Ireland.
Richard: He's one of those old school dudes, over 200 frickin film credits.
Richard: He was, you know, old school Hollywood.
Richard: I just went ahead and picked my one thing I've seen with him, which was Lucio Fulci's one on top of the other.
Richard: So there you go, I brought it back to Giallo for you guys.
Richard: He's going to be our villain, Lance Hayward, although he's played by two other actors.
Richard: So this this Lance Hayward is like three different people.
Richard: And four, when you count who plays him in the flashbacks to the movies from his career.
Richard: And so we'll get to that when we get to that.
Dan: I'll say this about it, too.
Dan: You'll never notice.
Richard: Seamless.
Dan: It's movie magic.
Richard: Oh, we're so impressed.
Richard: Cameron Mitchell, sweaty Cameron Mitchell.
Richard: I am so every time he is in a movie, he's a gift.
Richard: I love, you know, unpacking a sweaty cam.
Richard: He plays Detective Sanders, who I forgot was supposed to be in this.
Dan: Oh, yeah, that was a selling point for me.
Dan: It's like if he if he hasn't seen this movie yet, he's got to see it.
Dan: And then five minutes in, I forgot all about him, dude.
Richard: And then there he was, there he was making one of his most classic appearances ever.
Richard: But we'll get to that when we get to that.
Richard: Alan Hale Jr.
Richard: He played the skipper on freaking Gilligan's Island.
Richard: For those of you who are in their nineties, we'll remember that show.
Richard: 232 credits for him.
Richard: Oh, my God.
Richard: He plays Jake Nelson, the security guard.
Richard: I can't believe he has a first and last name and not just security guard.
Richard: So cute.
Richard: Next up is Aldo Ray, who has 114 credits for our purposes here.
Richard: He was in Don't Go Near the Park and Biohazard.
Richard: He plays Captain Ned, a drunken vagrant guy who lives outside of this house.
Richard: Yeah, I kept I kept forgetting it was a mansion.
Richard: I kept thinking it was a movie studio because this this set is so confusing and they never they never show people going inside the mansion.
Richard: They only show people going in through a, quote unquote, window.
Dan: There's never an establishing shot of the mansion.
Dan: No, like just show us a picture of a mansion.
Dan: There's with the amount of stock footage in this movie.
Dan: You think they could have found even just two seconds worth of just stock footage of a mansion.
Richard: No, yeah.
Richard: So we also have Dan Haggerty, who was Grizzly Adams.
Richard: He has he plays a character who shows up, complains about shit and gets murdered named Ted Michaels.
Richard: But bad movie fans, excuse me, misunderstood classics fans will recognize him from Elves.
Dan: Oh, yeah.
Richard: Which I am still shocked for a little while there.
Richard: You could get the record of the soundtrack.
Richard: And yet everybody either has the old tape or they have the same VHS rip of the old tape that everybody else has with the tracking problems.
Richard: I would love for Elves to get justice finally.
Richard: We got a Friday the 13th alumnus here with Stacey Greeson, which I think is a hilarious last name.
Richard: It is.
Richard: It's beautiful.
Richard: She plays Kathy.
Richard: And folks, I'm going to apologize now.
Richard: I am going to struggle with the the teen quote unquote teen characters.
Richard: I believe they're supposed to be college aged characters.
Richard: But yes, Kathy is she ends up being our final girl, much to our surprise.
Richard: We've got William Butler, who plays Chip, our computer nerd.
Richard: And man, I can't believe how much shit I've seen this guy in.
Richard: Spellcaster.
Richard: He was also a Friday the 13th new blood.
Richard: So he's another F13 alumnus.
Richard: He was in the Night of the Living Dead remake.
Richard: And he was in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 Leatherface.
Richard: For friend of the show, Katie of the Night, he is the director of Baby Oopsie, which is a infamous killer doll movie that's on Tubi, which you guys should check out.
Dan: I want to see that.
Dan: After looking up his credits, I was like, what is this Baby Oopsie?
Richard: I've still never seen it, much to my shame.
Richard: And I recommend it just because Katie, it is her comfort movie, if I recall correctly.
Richard: So she's seen it probably over five or six times, maybe more.
Richard: She talks about it all the time.
Richard: I want to say she bought one of them, one of the Baby Oopsies, or she made it.
Richard: But yeah, she loves Baby Oopsies.
Richard: So I'm very excited to finally get to Baby Oopsie.
Dan: Did you see any of his other credits on there for like all the movies he's directed?
Richard: Yeah, it got crazy.
Richard: He really, really leaned into the freaking, is it all?
Richard: Most of it horror, right?
Dan: Yeah, and there's a he's got like three reanimator knockoffs.
Dan: Re re re resonator.
Dan: There it is.
Dan: Because it's just like the first one just rips off from beyond shit, which I mean, I guess HP Lovecraft, like all that's public domain.
Dan: But right, man, the similarities are ridiculous.
Richard: Oh, man.
Richard: But yeah, what a career.
Richard: And he did direct Baby Oopsy 2 as well.
Dan: Some Disney credits on there, too.
Richard: Wow.
Richard: Anyway, Michelle Bauer, a wonderful scream queen here.
Richard: She was in one of my all time favorites, Sorority Babes and the Slimeball Bolorama.
Richard: She was also in Demon Warp, among many other great things.
Richard: We're going to get to see all of Michelle Bauer in this one.
Richard: She plays Joe, the the rocker chick, I believe.
Richard: Yes.
Richard: OK, thank you.
Richard: Because again, folks, I know who Michelle Bauer is.
Richard: But as soon as this movie was over, I'm like, where the hell did she do in this movie other than get naked?
Richard: We get to see Michelle's Bauer.
Richard: That's how that's how naked she gets.
Richard: We got Timothy Elwell, who plays Angel, her boyfriend, the rocker guy.
Richard: I didn't recognize him from other things, but got to mention him because he's a key figure in this movie.
Richard: But next, we got Carla B AKA Carla Baron.
Richard: I did not realize how many films I'd seen this lady in.
Richard: I recognized her immediately from Hacko Lantern, which a masterpiece.
Richard: She was also in Sorority Babes and the Slime Bowl, Bolarama.
Richard: Forgot she was in it.
Richard: She was in something called Necromancer, which is a weird, scuzzy little movie.
Richard: But she plays Lorraine.
Richard: She is Chip's first love interest in the movie.
Richard: Somehow he ends up with more than one.
Richard: Yeah, although one of them is more complicated than the Lorraine.
Richard: He and Lorraine are just like whatever.
Richard: So we got a guy named Ken Abraham, who his name is Greg in the movie.
Richard: God help me.
Richard: I don't know.
Richard: I think was he the drunk jerk?
Dan: Yeah, he has the the guy who has the face.
Dan: It looks like it's like stuffed with potatoes.
Richard: He spills beer on himself and pouts.
Richard: Yeah, that's great.
Dan: I also thought his name was Frank for a good portion of this movie because it sounded like Frank to me.
Dan: So in all my notes, I have like Frank, Frank, Frank.
Richard: Frank.
Dan: And I was trying to look up who played Frank.
Dan: And then I was like, who's this?
Dan: There is no who's Greg.
Dan: I don't know who Greg is.
Dan: And I have Frank is Greg or was Greg Greg?
Richard: Call him Freg or Grank.
Richard: I'm Grank.
Richard: But this guy was in Creeper Zoids and Hobgoblins, which I've still never seen Hobgoblins.
Richard: I've had people warn me not to watch Hobgoblins.
Richard: And then other people tell me, Oh, just watch the MST 3K one or whatever.
Richard: I'm like, Oh boy, this sounds complicated.
Richard: So I'll get to Hobgoblins when I get to it.
Richard: But this guy sold out.
Richard: Okay, he didn't sell out anything.
Richard: You got to make money in this world.
Richard: He sold his soul.
Richard: He has been editing reality TV shows for like the entirety of reality TV shows.
Richard: His list of frickin shame is insane.
Richard: But hey, if that's how you want to make money, that's cool.
Richard: You've only ruined American television.
Richard: No problem.
Dan: I also don't think he was necessarily acting in this movie either.
Dan: No, he just showed up and they just had cameras on him.
Richard: It's frag.
Richard: This is Frank.
Richard: We got John Stuart Wildman, who plays our almost hero named Todd.
Richard: He was also in Sorority Babes and the Slimeball Ballerama.
Richard: Man, I'm going to say that name a lot.
Richard: He was also in the less great but kind of fun Deadly Weapon, which is one of those movies where I thought I was going crazy.
Richard: I was staring at my TV as hard as I can because it was a...
Richard: I've seen the VHS tape and you could almost not hear the dialogue in the VHS tape.
Richard: And then when I got the Vinegar Syndrome TV Blu-ray, I was staring and anger at my TV because I still couldn't understand what he was saying.
Richard: Not realizing that this is like one of my first Vinegar Syndrome purchases, they have subtitles.
Richard: So I didn't know.
Richard: So now I got to revisit Murder Weapon.
Richard: It's basically a splatter movie.
Richard: That is, it's a slasher splatter movie with some very impressive, cheap effects that are cool.
Richard: But man, they had sound problems, bad sound problems with that movie.
Richard: It's like they were speaking of potatoes.
Richard: They're recording the dialogue with one.
Richard: Jamie Summers.
Richard: She's another actress who gets naked in this.
Richard: She plays Sherry and she was the adult film star.
Richard: So you've got if you want to see more of Jamie Summers, boy howdy, you got a couple thousand hours.
Richard: So first stuff you can do.
Richard: And last but most least is someone named John Henry Richardson.
Richard: Plays Phantom Number One.
Richard: So I'm assuming he's one of the guys playing Lance Hayward.
Richard: I think he was in a shit ton of movies like Evil Spawn, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Slash Dance, etc.
Richard: He was in everything.
Richard: Look up his list of horror credits is bonkers.
Richard: And I don't want to go over any more of the cast folks.
Richard: There's so everybody did something that I like in some way.
Richard: Luckily, the two policemen didn't do anything else.
Richard: Thank God.
Dan: Well, they don't do anything in this either.
Richard: So they sit in front of that house like it's nobody's business.
Richard: All right, folks, we're going to jump into this plot.
Richard: This starts with a house in flames and a reverb voice talking about his star, his fans.
Richard: It's a it's a 1920s intro that it's like very much a throwback to the 1920s, which we'll get to as well.
Richard: I'll go ahead and talk about this.
Richard: Now, the clips that they show to illustrate this Lance Hayward's career are from old films.
Richard: We've got clips from The Thief of Baghdad, 1924.
Richard: The Black Pirate, 1926.
Richard: The Gaucho, 1927.
Richard: And all three of those movies star the fourth person who plays, who doesn't know they were playing it, that plays Lance Hayward, which is Douglas Fairbanks.
Richard: Douglas Fairbanks was in all of those three movies.
Richard: So he's the common guy that they wanted to use his public domain features in or whatever, or they just stole him.
Richard: Using Douglas Fairbanks clips from him to make us believe in the power and the magic of actor Lance Hayward.
Richard: But supposedly his mansion's on fire, and he's going to do one of those, let me start at the beginning moments.
Richard: So the movie rewinds to the evening of said fire.
Richard: And I've already written in my notes what's going on.
Richard: Because it's so hard to tell what's going on.
Richard: But the first key scene is a Hollywood executive is wandering around the grounds.
Richard: And he's being stalked by a Dick Tracy villain.
Richard: And he's talking about selling this property, negotiating this old mansion with somebody on his car phone.
Richard: And then he goes to a, I think it's supposed to be an abandoned tennis court, and he's playing with a ball.
Richard: And then a rando dog, who will come back later, steals his ball.
Dan: Yeah, I remember thinking, like, where the hell did this dog come from?
Dan: It's just out of nowhere.
Richard: I can't complain.
Richard: That dog's cute as hell.
Richard: But he ends up getting knocked out and then tied to a tree with the thinnest rope you could imagine and then ripped in half when the killer ties the other end of the rope to his old timey car.
Richard: And he very easily rips this guy in half.
Richard: And Liet and I were talking about what would actually happen if you did that with a rope that thin?
Richard: My theory was that it would just break every bone in your foot.
Richard: It would probably pull your hip out, your leg out of the joint.
Richard: But instead of ripping you in half, I think your feet or foot would just be broken.
Richard: Like every bone would just be instantly broken and the rope would slide down your leg very painfully.
Dan: Boy, it sounds like you don't love the magic of cinema.
Dan: And that's what this movie is all about.
Dan: The magic of cinema.
Richard: I'm so cynical, Dan.
Richard: Why am I like this?
Dan: It's a fun effect, though.
Richard: I love it.
Richard: Oh, yeah, no, definitely not complaining.
Richard: Absolutely not complaining.
Richard: You know, picking apart things is not a slam on this movie at all because I mean, yeah, no worries, no worries.
Richard: So Dan Haggerty, real quick, he shows up, complains about the woes of property tax, gets shot, gets killed with an arrow or excuse me, he gets killed with a spear, I think.
Dan: Yeah, Grizzly Adams gets kabobbed.
Richard: Fastest cameo in the West.
Richard: So next up is Dan, you need to tell me about the Fun Time Gang.
Richard: Now, you know, we call them Good Time Charlies, but what would you call a group of Good Time Charlies?
Richard: I think we're going to call them a Fun Time Gang with the best sound ever.
Richard: Tell me about this scene.
Dan: You know, I really wanted to write down Good Time Charlies, but it's like, oh, that's not my thing.
Richard: You can have it.
Richard: That's a Brad thing.
Richard: I'm sure he'll little lend it out to you.
Dan: Yeah.
Dan: Oh, I see.
Dan: And this is when I knew that we're going to get something magical with this movie, because I love a good apartment scene where it's just nothing but echo.
Dan: We're either they are just filming in an apartment like the director's apartment, perhaps.
Dan: The scene also has these cuts back and forth between everybody meeting up at the apartment to go out for a fun time and a couple having a tubby together.
Dan: So it's just like suds and bods, and it'll just randomly there's no rhyme or reason to it.
Dan: It'll just cut to them fondling each other in a tub.
Richard: And you don't want that those soapy bubbles in certain erogenous zones.
Richard: That's not good for your body.
Richard: So I hope they've rinsed thoroughly afterwards.
Dan: Yeah.
Dan: And inside the tub, that's where you have that's Grank.
Dan: Grank and Sherry are in the tub.
Richard: Oh, man, what a fun time.
Dan: But yeah, Chip shows up and he's supposed to be Mark, but Mark couldn't make it, so we get Chip instead.
Richard: And I have no clue.
Dan: It's like I can't tell if what are their names?
Dan: Kathy and Lorraine.
Dan: I can't tell if they're they seem simultaneously repulsed by Chip and horny for him.
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: He seems really smart.
Richard: But then they're like, my favorite icebreaker is Chip sits down and looks at the looks at Kathy and goes, Do you like computers?
Richard: And she goes, excuse me, just gets up and leaves.
Richard: Oh, my God.
Richard: So once the whole gang is together, when everyone bathtub time is over and everything, and I think they're waiting on Todd, Todd shows up to and then out of nowhere, someone suggests, hey, let's go to the Hayward estate.
Richard: It's in the news that it's that they finally stop paying the land taxes, which later when you find out what secret Lance Hayward, the ghost or whatever he is won't say now, whatever he's hiding, when you find out what it is, you're like, pay your fucking taxes, asshole.
Dan: So Chip and Kathy are also Lance Hayward super fans.
Richard: Yes, that's right.
Richard: Thank you.
Richard: Which is where they know every movie he was ever in.
Dan: So I was like, oh, well, we know who's getting together in this movie now.
Richard: But they make us wait for it.
Richard: Exactly.
Richard: Keep us on our toes.
Richard: So they head out to the house AKA plot of land slash filming location.
Richard: That may or may not be connected at all.
Richard: And while they're sneaking around the place trying to find a way in, that's when they meet Captain Ned and his vague exposition.
Richard: He apparently witnessed somebody being killed.
Richard: And he mentions that someone was wiggling like a marlin on a harpoon.
Richard: And I love that.
Richard: I thought that was I thought that was freaking great.
Trailer: You go now, you probably missed the best part.
Trailer: We'll take our chances.
Trailer: Well, just so nothing happens to you like happened to those other two fellas.
Trailer: What are you talking about?
Trailer: A real mess up here.
Trailer: One of them was one of them was all over the place.
Trailer: His stomach, his kidneys, his intestines.
Trailer: The other one, he just stood there and just wiggled like a marlin on a harpoon.
Trailer: Well, they're all gone now.
Trailer: I'll be seeing you.
Richard: So they get inside.
Richard: My favorite effect is they break a window.
Richard: I'm putting that in quotes.
Richard: And by break a window, I mean there's a curtain and they threw something against it.
Richard: And then they added the sound of glass breaking later.
Richard: And then they all crawl in through the quote unquote broken window.
Richard: I love this.
Richard: Did the Rockers get there before them or did they get there at the same time?
Dan: The Rockers were there ahead of time.
Richard: Okay, so we have a couple I almost didn't introduce.
Richard: I sort of introduced them.
Richard: It's Joe and Angel AKA Rocker and Rocker Babe.
Richard: Even though he's supposed to be too drunk to fuck, we'll find out that's not true.
Richard: She's probably okay if she wasn't with him, but he is the worst character in the movie.
Richard: He is so horrible and unlikable, and she's just all over him, and their relationship is mostly them drunkenly fighting over what looks like some rot gut.
Dan: I like how they get the idea to go to the mansion because while getting drunk by a motorcycle, they're just listening to the news on the radio.
Richard: Yes.
Dan: Because that's what you do when you're a rocker like that.
Dan: You're just like, yeah, baby, let's get drunk and listen to the news.
Richard: Yeah, turn off that mega death.
Richard: I want to be more informed.
Richard: I want to be...
Richard: They're political.
Richard: They'd be really proud of me if they knew I checked out the headlines, bruh.
Richard: I love them.
Richard: So everybody is in this mansion now, and they find much to Sherry's delight.
Richard: They find the costumes.
Richard: This is like a huge stash of costumes because, of course, our killer, Lance, has been dressing up as his old characters and running around and causing shenanigans.
Richard: He also has some ladies' costumes too, and Sherry dresses up like a harem girl dancer.
Richard: And it's like the most revealing outfit for someone I've already seen naked.
Richard: And I'm like, she's sexier with clothes on.
Richard: I love it.
Dan: It's amazing that it was exactly her size too.
Richard: Well, you know, Hollywood, they always had one size lady.
Richard: It wasn't the clothes, it was the ladies.
Richard: They're all the same size.
Dan: The magic of cinema.
Richard: She runs around dressed in this wonderful outfit, and she's seen by Joe who's doing some pills and booze.
Richard: And she thinks that Sherry's a ghost, and then Sherry becomes a ghost when she gets beheaded.
Richard: And man, I love this beheading.
Richard: This is actress has her head through the wall, and then they have the fake severed neck and then the mannequin body underneath.
Richard: They chop the neck and the body falls, and the actress goes, it's so cute.
Richard: It's a good man.
Richard: I love it.
Richard: I mean, it worked for what was that movie?
Richard: The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance, the old like one of those rickety Giallo films ever made.
Richard: And yes, Jeffrey and I once covered it on this very show.
Richard: You can check the archives for that one.
Richard: That was actually not as well done as this one is.
Richard: So if you want to see this effect done worse, then check out that movie.
Richard: Also, don't watch that movie.
Richard: It's fucking terrible.
Richard: And then they find the vault, the ever important vault.
Richard: This is the the Big MacGuffin or just, you know, cold hard cash that our pal Lance Award has been hiding.
Richard: We don't know there's money in it.
Richard: We just see all the old films and that's going to become a key scene momentarily.
Richard: Before that, our pal Lorraine says my favorite line in the movie when they hear someone making love, they think it is Greg and Sherry making out or getting it on somewhere.
Richard: She tells Chip I'm going to go surprise them and he goes, Oh, you shouldn't do that.
Richard: And she's like, my middle name is coitus interruptus.
Richard: I would have a talk with my parents if that was what.
Richard: But yes, so the rocker and his lady are doing something.
Richard: I think they're making the sex act.
Richard: What happens when Lorraine goes running in there?
Dan: Oh, man.
Dan: So I don't know.
Dan: Would you describe this as Keystone Cops shenanigans?
Dan: Yes, because absolutely the the jumping up and just the it's wacky.
Dan: That's the only way you can really describe it is like, this is the wacky comedy scene.
Dan: Because Joe's running around like yelling at them, but also freaking out because she's naked at the same time.
Dan: And Rocker Guy, we get to see him put his bikini underwear on in real time.
Dan: We get some buns.
Dan: Thank you, Movie, for having the cojones to show some male nudity.
Richard: Yeah, well, we didn't get his his his little his little angel.
Richard: We didn't get his his dangler, but at least we got some male buns.
Richard: But yeah, dude, like, I mean, Michelle Bauer, she is fearless.
Richard: I have never seen her in a movie where she didn't get naked.
Richard: And this one, she's just extra nude.
Richard: She's like, I know what I must do.
Richard: This is my path.
Dan: It's funny because I complained.
Dan: We just recently did Play Force on Corrupted Youth, and I complained about the nudity in that movie.
Dan: It was just it was too much.
Dan: There wasn't any point to it.
Dan: And I am completely unoffended by the nudity in this movie.
Richard: Of course.
Richard: What movie did you say?
Richard: I missed it.
Dan: Life Force.
Richard: Oh, yes.
Richard: Life Force.
Richard: Yes, that is very gratuitous.
Richard: That is ridiculously gratuitous.
Richard: Good call.
Richard: I haven't seen that in years.
Dan: Yeah, but this one, I was completely okay with it because it made sense according to the plot.
Richard: So after our fun coitus interruptus, that's when Todd unfortunately gets to meet Angel the Rocker, but they bust open the film vault to see what goodies are inside and what happens when they get in there.
Dan: So when they get in there, Angel tries to spark up a cigarette and they're like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.
Dan: These are nitrate prints, and they're highly combustible.
Dan: It's just going to explode, especially in this small room.
Dan: So then Angel and Joe kind of realize that there could be something of value here.
Dan: So they decide to play it cool with the good time gang and kind of join forces to get money off of the stuff.
Dan: But then there has like the spark of the wildest fight ever.
Dan: And this is where I thought that this movie was definitely made by somebody who just really believed in the magic of cinema.
Dan: Because who was it?
Dan: Kathy insults Angel by saying that, I bet you, you don't know who this actor is because he wasn't on your television.
Dan: And then he just goes, well, fuck you, bitch.
Dan: And that starts a fight in this room where Todd suddenly knows that, hey, here's just a glass of chemicals I'm going to threaten Angel with.
Dan: And then Angel's like, whoa, I don't know what that stuff is, man.
Dan: You win.
Dan: I'm going to go put my clothes on.
Richard: It could have been tap water.
Richard: I don't even know.
Richard: That moment was like Todd is like, this guy's going to pull a switchblade on me, motherfucker's going to pull a switchblade on me.
Dan: And when I say fight, that that that term is used very loosely.
Richard: Yes, yes.
Richard: It's a choreography is shove guy down, put hand on throat and then threaten to pour.
Richard: Things get serious as our friend Lance Hayward starts to pick off these fools one at a time.
Richard: One of my favorite moments in the entire film is when he, I believe, he pushes Joe down the stairs.
Richard: Oh, yes.
Richard: I think it's Joe.
Richard: And to make it look more intense, they fast forward it.
Richard: And it's so cute.
Dan: It is Munster's level of fast motion.
Dan: And it is so good.
Richard: That was the moment why this movie was I was like, yeah, this is a keeper.
Richard: Like, as if I wasn't like freaking convinced enough.
Richard: This is when shit really started to click for me.
Dan: And you may realize at this point in the movie that you're about an hour in and you go, how is Cameron Mitchell going to be in this movie?
Richard: I wish I'd had that thought you were more you had more presence of mind than I did.
Richard: I was like, wow, movie magic working.
Richard: So, finally, we're getting down to just to Chip and Kathy.
Richard: Everybody's been dispatched.
Richard: Todd has a very impressive hand severing moment that I love.
Dan: Yeah, that was fun.
Richard: What was what happens when the our pal Lance Hayward finally confronts Chip and Kathy?
Richard: What happens here?
Dan: Well, we are back in the film vault because fun.
Dan: And definitely, the spitting image of Mr.
Dan: Ireland, who plays Lance, confronts them in a somehow echoey, Scooby-Doo voiceover voice.
Richard: Yes, I want to talk about that.
Dan: Where he sounds like it's just like ethereal, spooky effect on it for some reason.
Richard: It cracked me up, because every time that we heard from Lance Hayward, you hear this echoey voice, so you think he's narrating.
Richard: You think that this is his internal, you know, his internal voice.
Richard: But then when he meets up with fucking Chip and Kathy, that's just how he talks.
Dan: Like, what?
Richard: What's happening?
Dan: Why?
Trailer: I was protecting what was mine.
Trailer: I did return to claim this close to twenty million dollars right under your very noses.
Trailer: Please let us go.
Trailer: No one is to know Lance Hayward is still alive.
Trailer: We shall endure even while I take on many different identities.
Dan: And then he reveals that besides the films in there, he's like, you dumbasses, I have twenty million dollars just chilling in here.
Richard: You could have taken it and left, which is crazy why he owes money on land taxes and is losing the house.
Richard: Was it more than twenty million dollars?
Richard: I don't think so, unless unless he's just really upset about not having a tax shelter for whatever.
Dan: They just like chuck the whatever fluid was in that glass on his face.
Dan: We're assuming it's some type of acid.
Dan: And then they start the room on fire and everything just goes up in flames.
Dan: And I'm like, oh, we're now we're in and this movie just unexpectedly ended.
Dan: That's it.
Dan: That's the end of the movie.
Richard: One of the funniest things is this fire that they keep showing the clip of is it's a real house fire and it looks more like a church or it looks more like a building from the I mean, it could be from the 30s or 20s, like they're going for, but it doesn't look like a mansion at all.
Richard: No, it just looks like the film crew had film in the camera and heard there was a fire.
Richard: They ran over and filmed it and held on to that little can of gold for years.
Dan: It's just like an upstairs window.
Dan: The entire mansion.
Richard: It's crazy.
Richard: Our heroes here have survived.
Richard: Our final boy and final girl have survived for now.
Richard: And what is either the next night or two years later, they're at Chip's house, presumably Chip's house and their relationship is based on she's scared to be alone.
Richard: But we'll you know, we don't I don't want to look into it too deeply.
Richard: I'm sure romance will bloom normally eventually, but absolutely.
Dan: And he's comforting her with some sad cake.
Richard: Oh my god, the cake like it's so cute.
Richard: He brings her this cake that was probably left over from some fucking party the crew had.
Dan: Oh, this is definitely a movie where I get grossed out by the sight of any type of food.
Dan: And it's just like the seat in this house and I'm like, I just I just feel gross.
Richard: I'm such a garbage person that can't look good to me.
Richard: So what happens when they have a knock at the door?
Richard: Who's at the door, Dan?
Dan: Hey, it's Cameron Mitchell.
Richard: Oh, he's in this, okay.
Dan: Yeah, Detective, whatever his name is.
Richard: My notes claim that he's Detective Sanders.
Richard: He's the Colonel.
Dan: Wow, he's definitely not Chicken.
Dan: I love it.
Dan: Yeah, because right before he comes in, the lights go out in the house.
Trailer: Yep.
Dan: Because there's an old man dressed like a priest with the dog.
Richard: Thank you.
Richard: Yes, our pal, our pal Bofo the dog or whatever the fuck his dog's name is.
Dan: So this man's also breaking into the house at the same time, like into the garage.
Dan: And when he's climbing through the window and almost knocks over just a cardboard box full of spray paint, it's so great.
Richard: Oh my God, it's so good.
Dan: Cause he's like, Oh God, I can't knock this over.
Richard: Whoa, whoops, I'm a bad killer.
Richard: So yes, Detective Sanders is there to interrogate these two survivors.
Dan: Oh, he doesn't question them at all.
Dan: This is a straight up interrogation.
Richard: Dude, it's my favorite is like, what are you two sitting in the dark?
Richard: What are you hiding from?
Richard: And they're like, I don't know, the lights went out, dude.
Dan: Yeah, but how he just turns on them and starts accusing them of performing satanic rituals in the house.
Richard: Oh my God.
Dan: It was like a bizarre satanic panic.
Dan: Like he's just framing them for being satanists out of nowhere.
Dan: But let me tell you though, his performance though, amazing.
Richard: He ain't doing no second take.
Richard: He don't give a fuck.
Richard: He flubs his line and they keep on rolling like nothing happened.
Richard: It's great.
Richard: And also he's just like, he may be reading off his sheet of paper that he's got in front of him.
Richard: I don't know.
Richard: But man, I just, Cameron Mitchell always delivers.
Richard: I never, I've never seen him show up in a movie and half-ass it.
Dan: Did you see-
Dan: Did you see him on Magnum PI?
Richard: You know, I think I've seen an episode, but I can't remember.
Dan: So he's on this episode of Magnum PI.
Dan: It looks like he made the decision to give himself a shiny coat of milk chocolate.
Dan: He's like, I'm like, is he doing some type of weird brown face in this?
Dan: It's so bizarre.
Richard: Oh, it was a bad, it was bad tan, bad spray tan, maybe.
Dan: I don't know.
Dan: It is, it is fantastic.
Dan: And he's just glossy, but he's-
Dan: Oh Lord.
Dan: Not so glossy in this.
Dan: He's not sweaty in this.
Richard: I'm looking at his TV stuff and I'm seeing like The Fall Guy and I'm seeing like Hardcastle and McCormick, Knight Rider.
Richard: I don't think he did what he should have done.
Richard: I just, I just saw it.
Richard: He was on fucking Murder, She Wrote.
Richard: That's the one I'm thinking of.
Richard: I almost denied my own reality.
Richard: He played Dr.
Richard: Aaron Kramer on an episode of Murder, She Wrote.
Richard: Woo.
Richard: So aside from Cameron Mitchell flubbing his line, there's another great Cameron Mitchell moment where he gets gotten by the killer, by Lance Hayward just playing the role of John Ireland rethinking his career.
Richard: And the first movie flub, because this movie has been kind of tongue in cheek, but some of the cracks started to show, you know, this movie, they were definitely, their grasp outreached their grasper.
Richard: You know what I mean?
Richard: So Cameron Mitchell gets killed by Lance Hayward.
Richard: You get strangled.
Richard: And then they show him hanging from the ceiling, which they had to blur out.
Richard: Did you notice this?
Dan: Yes.
Richard: So they have Cameron Mitchell on one of those rigs where you make it look like he's hanging from the ceiling, but they had to blur something out because it looked bad, I'm assuming.
Richard: There's another little boner like that later, which makes me laugh really hard.
Richard: But then Lance Hayward just goes after Chip, throws his ass out the window.
Richard: Chip lands on the spiky white picket fence and he gets impaled.
Richard: So much for our final boy.
Richard: Very sad.
Dan: He's softer than he would have thought.
Richard: He's not a final man.
Richard: This is crazy to me.
Richard: It goes into a fantasy sequence where we see inside Lance Hayward's mind and he finally does the one thing he's always wanted to do, speaking, covering yourself in brown face.
Richard: John Ireland gets to do his Othello and good old Kathy is now his Desdemona.
Richard: Is that the character?
Richard: Oh man, my Shakespeare's a little rusty.
Richard: Let's see, Othello and Desdemona.
Richard: Hey, look at that.
Dan: This part's weird because up until this point, we just get around when he's killing or going to kill or in the process, the stock footage clips of custom made movie posters, photographs, it reminds me of when they have the clips from the movies.
Dan: It's like the Vietnam flashback trope where somebody just throws over stock footage as they zone out.
Dan: And yeah, so now, like you said, we get to get into his head and see him actually living out his fantasy.
Richard: So here's where this movie makes me totally baffled with this choice to do this.
Richard: So they're doing these scenes where it re-notes its destiny from the play that Othel is going to kill Desdemona, the whole play.
Richard: And he is strangling her, she's trying to talk him out of it, strangling her.
Richard: And then they get artsy, and they start doing a pan back, and they pump out the smoke machines, and they do the Wayne's World, doodle-do, doodle-do, fade out thing where the screen gets all distorted and weird.
Richard: But then they turn it off real quick.
Richard: So they started to put that effect in the wrong spot, and then turn it off, and the camera keeps panning back, and then it does that effect.
Richard: So you get this trippy effect, and then suddenly it turns off like a switch, and then they do it again.
Richard: And then you can see the top of the stage where the reality of the set is exposed.
Richard: So even in his own mind, he's on a stage.
Dan: I think that that effect might happen twice.
Dan: I think.
Richard: Yeah, they really were proud of this moment.
Richard: I feel like this was the crux of the movie, but because they couldn't get John Ireland through the whole movie, they had to just do it all in one go.
Richard: I would love, love to see this movie get beyond its retro media.
Richard: I mean, I love retro media, but I would love for them because they are also make flicks.
Richard: I don't know if you ever bought anything from make flicks.
Richard: But they are putting out decent blu-rays of these movies, like Jacko from 1995, Halloween horror movie with Linnea Quigley is very fun.
Richard: They put out a blu-ray of Lurking.
Richard: I think it's no haunting fear.
Richard: I always want to say lurking fear with Brink Stevens.
Richard: Those are fun and those are good blu-rays.
Richard: Those are fine.
Richard: But yeah, that's who retro media is now.
Richard: So I would love if they would do this film from the producer of Dude, Where's My Car?
Richard: But also this is tailor made for A Vinegar Syndrome too, because I thought that vinegar syndrome had put this out years ago.
Richard: But no, I was mixing this up with Night Train to Terror and I was mixing it up with Frightmare, which is Frightmare is another horror movie actor, not a classical Hollywood actor, but a horror movie actor who kills people.
Richard: So that's probably why it was confusing.
Dan: Yeah, and I was thinking about Frightmare when watching this.
Dan: Frightmare is probably a little bit better constructed.
Richard: Yeah, exactly.
Richard: But the whole thing is I want background.
Richard: I want to know more about this insanity.
Richard: This is insane.
Richard: I didn't even talk about Andrew de Toth, the co-director.
Richard: I think I've skipped that.
Richard: Andrew de Toth was another old school Hollywood guy who worked on this too.
Richard: And he directed freaking the original House of Wax from 53.
Richard: Like what?
Richard: So he may have lent some of this old Hollywood style to this movie, but the final result is completely crazy.
Richard: But anyway, our pal Cathy gets kissed to death.
Dan: Yeah, it was really uncomfortable.
Richard: It was.
Richard: I hope John Ireland was very professional.
Richard: I hope he wasn't like tongue like tongues out like going for it.
Richard: I hope he was just, all right, let's do this fucking scene and apologize to her for his old man mouth.
Dan: I wonder if he's just like, I'll do the scene, but I won't rape her.
Trailer: I'm nude under my costume.
Trailer: Don't think about my dick.
Richard: But I am thinking about your dick, John Ireland.
Richard: Can't stop myself.
Richard: Hello, Dan, did you leave?
Richard: So yeah, so he gets away.
Richard: We will the overly long shot of him walking away and going around a corner.
Richard: But because the DVD is so dark, you're like, is he walking away or they just forget to stop recording?
Dan: Yeah, it was only when he like passes by like an area where like there's a streetlight or something around the corner.
Dan: So it's like, was this it?
Dan: Is the movie stop?
Dan: And then it's like, oh, no, he's still walking.
Richard: Then we get another one of those weirdo Hollywood songs, talking about the dark side of Hollywood or whatever bullshit.
Richard: That's it.
Dan: I mean, having a great time with Hollywood.
Richard: As mentioned, this is produced by Nancy Poloian, and also a guy named Barry Gottheimer, also Zombie Death House, which I mean, folks, I'm sorry if you watch it because I said it so many times.
Richard: I didn't recognize the music, the people who did the music is Bruce Hannafan and Ian Whitcomb.
Richard: I do know they had that setting on their keyboard that goes, BOW, WOW, which everyone in 1989 download, oh, they don't download things in 1989, everyone bought the same disc with the same digital synthesizer cues on it.
Richard: So pretty much every Italian horror movie in 1989 had this BOW, WOW sound to it.
Richard: So they got that disc too.
Richard: But the weird thing is this also has the songs, the weird like 1920s, 1930s, silly songs about Hollywood that were definitely custom for this movie.
Dan: Yes.
Dan: And one is over a black screen for 40 seconds at the beginning of the movie.
Richard: Yes.
Richard: So that's who Ian Whitcomb is.
Richard: Ian Whitcomb is the guy who wrote those songs.
Richard: Thank you IMDB.
Richard: And we've also got a punk song by a band called The Indifference and a metal song by Surgical Steel called Crank It Up, which sounded like, because they say crank it up a thousand times, it sounds like they're saying break it up.
Richard: They didn't enunciate so good.
Dan: Yeah.
Dan: I wasn't really noticing the music in that scene.
Dan: There's just, there was, there was a whole lot of Joe.
Richard: There's a whole lot of Joe, a lot of Joe.
Richard: Cinematography is where I will stop reading off names.
Richard: I promise folks.
Richard: We got John F Fonte.
Richard: He was an FX guy.
Richard: His biggest claim to fame was he was a cinematographer on a little movie called Hardware Wars.
Richard: Dan, you're a, I believe you're a Star Wars fan.
Richard: Can I say that on here?
Dan: Yeah.
Richard: Have you seen Hardware Wars?
Dan: I have not seen Hardware Wars.
Richard: Holy shit.
Richard: It is a short film made like a year after Star Wars.
Richard: That is one of my earliest memories of watching television, especially watching cable television.
Richard: Back when HBO was was experimental and they were like, you know, letting people try it for super cheap.
Richard: My parents tried it for like a weekend.
Richard: And one of the things I saw was a magical parody called Hardware Wars.
Richard: Just to give you an example, the Millennium Falcon is an old beat up waffle iron.
Richard: Chewbacca is clearly a Jim Henson inspired muppet.
Richard: And everyone looks everyone has big 70s hair.
Richard: And everyone is just so perfectly cast and it's great.
Richard: So Hardware Wars, check it out.
Dan: Okay, so I'm looking up pictures of it.
Dan: And I've seen these pictures.
Richard: So you got to watch it.
Richard: It's real stupid, but it's like it's like sub SCTV level humor.
Richard: So it's like we know this isn't funny, but we're going to lean into it.
Richard: I love it.
Dan: Is it on the level of like Saturday the 14th type humor?
Dan: Where it doesn't quite land, but it was funny to somebody.
Richard: It was funny.
Richard: It was brilliant at the time.
Richard: It's like a novelty record that comes out of that perfect moment.
Richard: Like if you heard something that was like, oh man, that's really relevant to today's interests.
Richard: LOL.
Richard: How good is Hardware Wars now?
Richard: I have no idea.
Dan: It's only 13 minutes.
Richard: Can't go wrong there.
Richard: He also was a cinematographer on Zombie Death House.
Richard: Snuck it in one more time.
Richard: We got cinematographer R.
Richard: Michael Stringer who shot Deadly Games, which I highly recommend and Double Exposure, which is also a movie.
Richard: And then last, the last guy, and I swear I'm gonna stop talking about this crew, Howard Wexler.
Richard: This dude was Andy Sedaris' regular go to cinematographer.
Richard: I'm talking Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Picasso Trigger, Malibu Express, all like almost all of Andy Sedaris' fricking booby gun movies have the same guy shooting it and it is Howard Wexler.
Richard: He also shot two horror movies, Dream Maniac and he shot Blood Nasty.
Richard: Damn, those two credits alone are impressive.
Richard: The fact that he shot all those Andy Sedaris movies is nuts.
Dan: Yeah, that's pretty bonkers, but he definitely knows his way around the body, I guess.
Richard: Oh, boy, boy, howdy.
Richard: Does this have any trivia on?
Richard: So there's some trivia here.
Richard: His movie was shot in 87 and then didn't technically come out for two years.
Richard: It sat on a shelf for 20 years before they get its quote unquote badly transferred DVD release.
Richard: I mean, it's not great, but I've seen worse.
Dan: For sure.
Richard: Says there were copyright issues with the older movie footage used in the film, which isn't really a surprise.
Richard: And that supposedly there were rumors that this was produced with mob money, which I mean, that's just Hollywood, right?
Dan: Right.
Dan: I mean, come on.
Dan: They're legitimate businessmen.
Dan: OK.
Dan: And if they want to invest in some films, let them.
Richard: Hey, so maybe a truck full of cigarettes disappears.
Richard: So what?
Dan: I don't know where all these TVs came from.
Trailer: You're going to get your fucking movie.
Richard: All right.
Richard: Linnea Quigley was supposed to be in this, but dropped out.
Richard: I'm sure Michelle Bauer was more than happy to be like, now, man, I'll meet you on Wednesday.
Richard: We'll do some other fucking movie together.
Richard: I love it.
Richard: And yes, Douglas, of course, Lance Hayward is an analog of either Douglas Fairbanks or Errol Flynn.
Richard: Yeah, that's all the trivia.
Richard: I feel like there's got to be more.
Dan: I think I have one more bit of trivia.
Richard: Dude, drop it.
Richard: What do you got?
Dan: Because there's definitely like nowhere lists this additional cast member that I can find like on IMDB or Letterboxd or anything.
Dan: It's white cheats.
Dan: White cheats are definitely an actor in this movie because they are everywhere.
Dan: They're like every scene.
Richard: My brain was like, is that one of the bands that made the songs white sheets?
Richard: I've never heard white cheats.
Richard: That's a terrible band name.
Richard: Everyone's going to think you're a frickin KKK member.
Richard: Then I realized you're talking about the frickin drape, the sheets that are draped all over every set.
Dan: Yeah, it'll just be like, here's kind of a room where we took a hutch and we just put a sheet on it and it's just kind of awkwardly placed in the kind of in the center of the room just to take up more space.
Richard: There's a plot point where the killer is hiding under a sheet standing under a stairwell.
Dan: That's true.
Dan: Which that was kind of spooky.
Dan: That was, I'll admit that scene was a little spooky.
Richard: I don't.
Richard: Yeah, I'm sorry.
Richard: I wouldn't walk anywhere near that shit.
Richard: I'm like, if that's not a statue, we're in trouble.
Richard: So Dan, you picked this film for us and I hope we're one of the very few podcasts who have ever touched this movie.
Richard: But how do you like this one?
Dan: You know what?
Dan: I like it a lot.
Dan: I just kind of wish it was a little more solid.
Dan: It has its moments, but then like that whole, it just ends after an hour and then you get this tacked on, you know, killer.
Dan: I was so confused.
Dan: I didn't understand what was going on in that last chunk where he shows up at the house.
Dan: I didn't realize that the cop was initially outside there for protection because they never explain anything until like your balls deep in it.
Dan: And then you go, oh, OK.
Dan: Like one line of dialogue could have just made it smooth out so much better.
Dan: But it's got really good ideas, but just doesn't really capitalize all the time.
Dan: But all the mansion stuff is a lot of fun.
Richard: Yeah, totally.
Richard: I was relieved they did that tact on ending because one of the issues I have with a lot of movies like this is and this is this is I'm speaking not as myself here as a bad person who would download a movie.
Richard: It is always terrifying to me when I go to quote unquote download a movie and they have the screenshots to give you an idea of what you're looking at here.
Richard: All of the screenshots are in the same location with the same lighting for like 40 or 50 percent of the film.
Richard: That's when I get worried.
Richard: Is that drab over doing this for an hour and a half?
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: So I was glad we had the stuff outside and I was really glad we had the tact on ending because it just gave my eyes something else to look at.
Richard: They made good use of the space, especially with those sheets.
Richard: But I had seen this before.
Richard: I had forgotten about this movie.
Richard: I remember buying this because it was like $6 same DVD many, many, many, many years ago and not liking this at all.
Richard: But that was probably what year did this freaking DVD come out?
Richard: Oh my God, 2004.
Richard: So you got to think I haven't seen this in like probably 12 years, 14 years, maybe more.
Richard: So I knew this was not going to be something I disliked.
Richard: So when you picked it and I was like on your list of stuff, I said, yes, yes, let's do this because I knew I was going to enjoy it this time and I'll be damned if I didn't.
Richard: This was really fun.
Richard: There's too many characters, but I'm glad they're here because if we had like a crew of like four kids who ran around and yelled at each other, that would also be terrible.
Dan: It's not boring.
Richard: Not at all.
Richard: It's goofy.
Richard: It's disjointed.
Richard: There's a lot of cinematic bric-a-brac in the awesome art design.
Richard: Like they went all out to make these little posters for movies that didn't exist.
Richard: And the, you know, the people who are playing Lance Hayward have like 12 costumes.
Richard: Like he kills several people with a costume you never see again.
Richard: The bikers are the literal worst.
Richard: They're so obnoxious, but they're funny obnoxious.
Dan: I think they might have actually been drunk.
Richard: Yeah, why not?
Richard: Fuck it.
Richard: Why?
Richard: Why wouldn't you be on a movie like this?
Dan: For real?
Dan: Yeah.
Richard: So yeah, I really enjoyed this.
Richard: I'm not sure if I loved it, but I definitely had a good time and I will be revisiting it later.
Richard: I want to put this on for a normie.
Richard: Like I want to put this on for a new friend and not tell them that this isn't supposed to be a great film.
Richard: Like, oh man, we could watch like the original Halloween.
Richard: Maybe we could watch Blade Runner or like Bloody Movie and then like put on Bloody Movie and just keep a straight face and let them figure out that you've pulled a fast one on them.
Richard: Because this would be a movie that people, even me in like 2006 didn't appreciate.
Richard: And I was already watching crazy movies like this.
Richard: Like a fine wine, Dan, just like you and me.
Dan: We have aged well.
Richard: Oh my God.
Richard: Look at us.
Richard: Right at us.
Richard: Before I let you escape this podcast place, I ask every guest co-host that I talk to, to pick a film that they've recently seen and loved.
Richard: It can be an old favorite or it can be something you've never seen before.
Richard: You just happened to watch recently, but you love it.
Dan: I recently watched Cobweb and I just I really enjoyed it.
Dan: It was very much in line with just being a modern fairy tale.
Dan: You know where the movie is going the whole time when you watch it, but it's just the way it looks and feels is so nice.
Dan: Nice.
Dan: And I just really got a kick out of it.
Dan: Like I said, I wasn't surprised by anything in it whatsoever, but it just it all worked.
Dan: The cast was good.
Dan: The cinematography was great.
Richard: Well, I definitely heard about it when it came out.
Richard: I will watch the shit out of it.
Dan: I was kind of surprised.
Dan: I just kind of went in it with a whim.
Richard: You whim into it.
Dan: I was hoping to go see Late Night with the Devil.
Dan: Yeah, because that looks pretty amazing.
Richard: Same here.
Richard: I bought a ticket to see it.
Richard: And then something came up and I didn't go.
Richard: This happened literally last night.
Richard: I bought my ticket and then realized I couldn't go.
Richard: And it was like, I'm not refunding.
Richard: I'm not getting a refund.
Richard: I let Late Night with the Devil have my money.
Richard: I just said, fuck it.
Richard: That's the kind of kind, wonderful person I am.
Richard: I'll feel the sting when I go to rent it later.
Richard: Oh, I just paid for this twice.
Dan: This better be fucking good.
Dan: It's going to be on Shutter next month.
Richard: There you go.
Richard: I probably shouldn't have canceled my Shutter subscription.
Richard: Speaking of channels I wasn't using, I mean, I really enjoyed Shutter, but then I was like, how much is it a month?
Richard: When was the last time I watched anything on it?
Richard: Yeah, I'm going to focus on my movie collection.
Dan: I'm locked in on some because I signed up for it pretty quick.
Dan: So I got locked in on like a pretty good deal for a while.
Dan: And I think when it's been raised, it hasn't been raised much.
Dan: And it's the most affordable streaming I have currently.
Dan: And I'm like, well, I'll just keep it because it's just there when I want it.
Richard: They've helped me check off so many things from my, I don't want to buy this, but it was like I had a lot of list of shame.
Richard: I've been able to knock off a lot of my list of shame with Shutter.
Richard: So it definitely served its purpose for a long time.
Richard: My recently seen and loved is a movie that I picked up based on the trailer and based on I really love this Blu-ray company.
Richard: It's called Top Line, 1988.
Richard: This is available on Cauldron Films.
Richard: And it's supposed to be action adventure sci-fi from a director named Nello Rosati, who directed a few things I've seen before, like The Cat in Heat, a couple other little weird gems that he's done.
Richard: But this is Franco Nero starring.
Richard: We got William Berger, a hilarious, speaking of crazy cameos, George Kennedy.
Richard: Please.
Richard: George Kennedy plays a Nazi.
Richard: It's crazy as shit.
Richard: What?
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: Top Line is very special.
Richard: It is an adventure film with some thriller aspects for over an hour.
Richard: And then all of a sudden, in the last 20 minutes, it goes ape shit.
Richard: I'll give you a hint.
Richard: I'll give you two hints.
Richard: It's not listed as horror, but I think it turns into a horror movie.
Richard: And also its alternate title is Alien Terminator.
Richard: Oh, if you're a Franco Nero fan, he's great in it.
Richard: He's having so much fun.
Richard: And George Kennedy is, oh, my God.
Richard: George Kennedy, he was a respected actor.
Richard: And then by the time the 80s rolled around, he was George.
Richard: Fuck it.
Richard: I'm doing this.
Richard: Kennedy like everything George Kennedy did in the in the 80s is crazy.
Richard: Him and Alex Kord together on the uninvited that Killer Mutant Cat movie.
Richard: You've never seen anything like that, folks.
Richard: If you haven't seen the uninvited yet, it's fucking insane.
Richard: Oh, I just made a weird sound.
Richard: I made it twice.
Dan: So you don't even the effects anymore.
Richard: Yeah, it's another thing.
Richard: I have my own sound effects, but I want to do something vaguely orgasmic so we could talk about Dan.
Richard: Thank you so much for being here.
Richard: Will you please tell folks how they can find your podcast and your art and more, whatever you got?
Richard: Let's hear about it.
Dan: So if you want to check out any of my art stuff, go to Danbiesel.com.
Dan: It's Biesel spelled like gas, the gas, but with a B.
Richard: Oh, high octane.
Dan: Not much going on there.
Dan: Normally I go to conventions and stuff, but I don't have anything lined up.
Dan: It's kind of nice.
Dan: Just taking a little break.
Dan: A lot of the art stuff, just kind of letting things trickle in a little bit.
Dan: But if you want to check some of it out, that's where you go.
Dan: And I'm also hosting Corrupted Youth Podcast with my son Brennan.
Dan: And we talk about the latest blockbusters and shocky Golden Age VHS rental store flicks.
Dan: And it's pretty fun.
Dan: It's a great way to spend some time with my kid and talk about things like Stallone snow holes.
Richard: Folks, seriously, Corrupted Youth is so much fun.
Richard: It's like you always worry when you think about, well, I forgot to have kids.
Richard: So this isn't this is mainly I just introduce my cats to movies.
Richard: Like the worry would be like, oh, my kid's not going to be into what I'm into.
Richard: They won't.
Richard: They don't care about movies.
Richard: They won't care about music.
Richard: They don't care about whatever, you know, because kids rebel as they do and they like they love the opposite of whatever you do.
Richard: But you have found this magical way to to like engage with your son over several years and just like watch great stuff with them.
Richard: I mean, the fact that I got to talk about the seventh curse with you and your son was very awesome.
Richard: That was so fun because, you know, that's like that's like just a baffling movie for anyone to watch, much less expose their kid to it.
Dan: Yeah.
Dan: And I mean, I don't recommend nobody, no podcast person really recommends their early episodes.
Dan: But you can literally hear him grow up on the show because he was just a squeaky little boy at 13 when we started.
Dan: And he's going to be 21.
Dan: In May.
Richard: And it's been so long.
Dan: So it's it's been a fun adventure with them.
Dan: I don't know how long we're going to go.
Dan: But definitely this year, every summer we do summer slasher camp.
Dan: And that's usually where people in our Facebook group, the Dongle Dun, usually will have people kind of submit suggestions for slashers.
Dan: And then we watch like one each month over the summer.
Dan: And we have a little criteria of what is it a slasher or is it not.
Dan: Because there was a little controversy one time, and I won't even...
Dan: Not much of a controversy, but you know, there was debate.
Dan: Well, is that actually a slasher or not?
Dan: So we're like, fine, we'll just make a checklist.
Dan: We each got our own.
Dan: We've been talking about changing it up this year, possibly hitting the road and actually recording in person with our fans.
Richard: Oh, man.
Dan: So I don't know if we'll be able to pull it off or not, but it'd be great if we could just road trip and maybe record us on the road trip and our wacky shenanigans.
Dan: You know, here's Dan snoring again.
Dan: And, you know, how many diarrhea stops do we have to have?
Dan: Who knows?
Richard: That's how you make memories right there.
Richard: Those diarrhea stops.
Richard: Well, yeah, folks, please check out the podcast, check out Dan's awesome art.
Richard: You're a talented dude.
Richard: And I cannot draw, so I'm always enamored with my buds who can translate their worldview onto paper without making it more of a nightmare like I do when I draw.
Richard: Like, oh, wow.
Richard: My mom said, you draw really good for a 10 year old.
Richard: Oh, and then when I was 13, she said, oh, you draw really good for a 10 year old.
Richard: So I quit drawing.
Richard: Folks, thanks for listening.
Richard: Dan, thank you for being here.
Dan: It was a pleasure.
Richard: And you are you.
Richard: We're having you for pleasure.
Dan: Hopefully my head doesn't end up on a platter.
Richard: Oh, no, you're definitely going to have you the reverbed voice for this whole episode.
Richard: I'm going to do that effect to you the whole time.
Dan: Just my severed head under the platter talking.
Richard: Bye, folks.
Richard: Folks, thanks so much for listening to this episode.
Richard: If you'd like to write into the show, send an email to DoomedMovieThon at Gmail, or hit us up at DoomedMovieThon on Instagram, or at DoomedMovieThon on Twitter, or at DoomedMovieThon at Discord, or go to Hello This Is The Doom Show on Facebook and message us there.
Richard: If you want more Hello This Is The Doom Show, go to doomedmoviethon.com and click the podcast button for the archive, or go to YouTube and look up DoomedMovieThon and you'll find the classic episodes of Hello This Is The Doom Show.
Richard: And if that's still not enough, I have written some books, you know, about my love of movies over on amazon.com.
Richard: Just look up Richard Glenn Schmidt and you'll find Giala Meltdown, A MovieThon Diary, Giala Meltdown 2, Cinema Somnambulist or Doomed MovieThon, The Book.
Richard: Hello This Is The Doom Show is a proud member of the Legion Podcast Network.
Richard: Go to legionpodcasts.com and check out the other great shows over there.