WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.985 --> 00:00:02.845 It is good to see the people of God. 2 00:00:02.955 --> 00:00:06.045 It's good to see the church of God in the place. 3 00:00:06.045 --> 00:00:07.325 Come on, let's stand to our feet. 4 00:00:07.325 --> 00:00:09.525 Those of you joining us online, welcome. 5 00:00:09.615 --> 00:00:11.845 We're gonna read from the book 6 00:00:11.845 --> 00:00:15.045 of Isaiah chapter 40 in verse six. 7 00:00:15.065 --> 00:00:19.565 It says this, A voice cries or a voice says cry. 8 00:00:19.665 --> 00:00:23.485 And I said, what shall I cry? All flesh is grass. 9 00:00:23.625 --> 00:00:25.965 And all its beauty is like the flower of the field. 10 00:00:26.945 --> 00:00:29.205 The grass withers, the flower fades. 11 00:00:29.435 --> 00:00:31.365 When the breath of the Lord blows on it, 12 00:00:31.745 --> 00:00:33.445 surely the people are grass. 13 00:00:34.395 --> 00:00:35.625 Verse eight is why we're here. 14 00:00:35.625 --> 00:00:39.265 It says, the grass withers and the flower fades. 15 00:00:39.845 --> 00:00:42.825 But the word of our God will stand forever. 16 00:00:43.565 --> 00:00:45.905 Can we thank the Lord that his word will stand forever? 17 00:00:47.195 --> 00:00:49.905 Jesus said that heaven and earth will pass away, 18 00:00:50.285 --> 00:00:52.345 but his words will never pass away. 19 00:00:52.685 --> 00:00:55.265 We celebrate that today. Come on. Hallelujah. 20 00:01:11.535 --> 00:01:11.915 We thank 21 00:03:42.065 --> 00:03:42.285 you, 22 00:03:42.385 --> 00:03:42.605 Set 23 00:03:58.705 --> 00:03:58.925 You 24 00:04:46.025 --> 00:04:47.965 If you said I'll. 25 00:04:51.505 --> 00:04:52.505 How Good. 26 00:05:45.335 --> 00:05:49.485 Hallelujah. Well, hey, 27 00:05:49.485 --> 00:05:52.045 before we go into the next song, why don't you turn to two 28 00:05:52.045 --> 00:05:55.605 or three people and welcome them to Hope Community Church. 29 00:05:55.865 --> 00:05:57.725 And if you're joining us online 30 00:05:57.825 --> 00:06:00.565 and you, it's your first time, hey, go in the chat. 31 00:06:00.865 --> 00:06:03.565 Let us know that you're new so that we can reach out to you. 32 00:06:03.865 --> 00:06:06.445 Let you know about all the things that are going on here at 33 00:06:06.445 --> 00:06:06.685 Hope 34 00:07:06.935 --> 00:07:10.895 Faithful. He's 35 00:07:11.375 --> 00:07:14.415 Faithful, church, Faithful, 36 00:07:17.995 --> 00:07:18.215 All 37 00:07:43.605 --> 00:07:44.605 Beautiful Savior. 38 00:09:24.165 --> 00:09:26.545 I'm glad we are declaring now that we are the kind 39 00:09:26.545 --> 00:09:29.985 of church that stands on the word of God. 40 00:09:30.165 --> 00:09:31.425 We stand on the Bible. 41 00:09:31.965 --> 00:09:35.705 It means we know his promises are true. Amen. Come on, I, 42 00:09:55.035 --> 00:09:55.255 My 43 00:10:12.475 --> 00:10:12.695 is, 44 00:12:13.335 --> 00:12:14.175 I don't want 45 00:13:07.245 --> 00:13:07.535 give. 46 00:15:27.345 --> 00:15:27.665 I don't 47 00:18:07.915 --> 00:18:12.695 see it again, the Earth, the 48 00:19:35.165 --> 00:19:36.215 Lord, you are great. 49 00:19:40.035 --> 00:19:41.335 We are thankful for time 50 00:19:41.955 --> 00:19:44.215 and space to express that to you today. 51 00:19:47.475 --> 00:19:49.695 Father, Whatever we have going on in our lives, 52 00:19:49.725 --> 00:19:51.015 when we never forget 53 00:19:52.845 --> 00:19:57.295 that you hold our victory in your hands, you are with us 54 00:19:58.395 --> 00:20:02.975 no matter what We give you praise for that today, 55 00:20:04.885 --> 00:20:06.295 fathers, we open your word. 56 00:20:06.315 --> 00:20:08.015 We ask that you speak to us. 57 00:20:10.305 --> 00:20:11.375 Speak To us today. 58 00:20:13.835 --> 00:20:15.935 Do a mighty work in each and every one of our lives. 59 00:20:18.675 --> 00:20:19.895 God, we give you this time. 60 00:20:21.555 --> 00:20:26.535 We love you in your precious and holy name we pray. Amen. 61 00:20:27.595 --> 00:20:29.575 Church, it's been wonderful worshiping together. 62 00:20:29.635 --> 00:20:30.635 Why don't you grab a seat? 63 00:20:39.085 --> 00:20:41.685 I love our times of worship. I love to worship Jesus. 64 00:20:42.835 --> 00:20:44.885 Even at times. I love to do it alone, 65 00:20:45.025 --> 00:20:48.485 but I never enjoy it alone as much as I do with the people 66 00:20:48.505 --> 00:20:50.125 of God, with the family of God. 67 00:20:51.315 --> 00:20:53.405 Well, welcome. My name is Doug. 68 00:20:53.405 --> 00:20:55.125 If we haven't had a chance to meet yet, 69 00:20:55.125 --> 00:20:57.245 and I want to welcome you to this gathering of Hope, 70 00:20:57.475 --> 00:20:58.525 hope Community Church. 71 00:20:58.785 --> 00:21:01.485 We are a family. We're a family who loves God, 72 00:21:01.485 --> 00:21:03.285 follows Jesus and shares hope. 73 00:21:04.345 --> 00:21:07.365 And we want you to be a part of this family. 74 00:21:07.505 --> 00:21:10.405 And if you are new, a very special welcome to you. 75 00:21:10.405 --> 00:21:12.045 If you're in the room at the end of the service, 76 00:21:12.145 --> 00:21:13.245 we would love for you to stop 77 00:21:13.245 --> 00:21:16.525 by our next steps area in the atrium so we can meet you 78 00:21:16.625 --> 00:21:18.485 and answer any questions that you have. 79 00:21:18.485 --> 00:21:21.005 And if you happen to be watching online, we just want 80 00:21:21.005 --> 00:21:23.685 to thank you for taking this time out of your schedule 81 00:21:24.145 --> 00:21:25.565 to join us online. 82 00:21:26.385 --> 00:21:28.165 And we pray that, that you feel 83 00:21:28.235 --> 00:21:29.645 engaged with what's happening. 84 00:21:29.645 --> 00:21:33.005 And if you're new, just go ahead in the text chat there 85 00:21:33.025 --> 00:21:34.045 and say, Hey, I'm new. 86 00:21:34.105 --> 00:21:36.565 And somebody will, will reach out to you 87 00:21:36.705 --> 00:21:38.245 and help you get connected. 88 00:21:38.825 --> 00:21:41.405 But last week we kicked into a brand new series 89 00:21:41.505 --> 00:21:44.725 of messages called Family of Families, 90 00:21:44.725 --> 00:21:48.125 where we're diving into all things family, from family 91 00:21:48.145 --> 00:21:50.845 of God to parenting, to marriage and everything in between. 92 00:21:51.385 --> 00:21:54.765 And today we are looking at God's design for marriage. 93 00:21:55.625 --> 00:21:59.085 But listen, this is not just a message for married couples. 94 00:21:59.585 --> 00:22:02.845 If you're hearing single, this is important for you 95 00:22:02.845 --> 00:22:06.285 to understand God's creation, God's design for marriage. 96 00:22:06.945 --> 00:22:10.925 If you were married and now divorced, if you were married 97 00:22:11.025 --> 00:22:14.765 and lost a spouse, this is still the truth of God's word. 98 00:22:15.105 --> 00:22:16.405 See, marriage is his creation. 99 00:22:16.775 --> 00:22:20.125 Never a social construct or a government's idea. 100 00:22:20.475 --> 00:22:23.445 It's God's idea. We're gonna see God's design today 101 00:22:23.505 --> 00:22:24.645 for the marriage relationship. 102 00:22:24.905 --> 00:22:27.405 But we wanted to let you know, particularly if your parents, 103 00:22:27.835 --> 00:22:30.765 that because of God's design for marriage, some 104 00:22:30.765 --> 00:22:33.645 of the things we may be talking about in this message may be 105 00:22:33.785 --> 00:22:35.125 of a sensitive nature. 106 00:22:35.585 --> 00:22:39.085 And so perhaps this is kind of a PG 13 message. 107 00:22:39.235 --> 00:22:40.405 Just wanted to let you know that. 108 00:22:41.465 --> 00:22:44.365 But also before we jump in, we've got an incredible story 109 00:22:44.385 --> 00:22:45.965 of life change to share with you. 110 00:22:45.965 --> 00:22:47.765 You're gonna see a story of Jeff, one 111 00:22:47.765 --> 00:22:49.565 of our members here at Our Hope family. 112 00:22:50.105 --> 00:22:52.205 And this year I was going into 2025. 113 00:22:52.235 --> 00:22:55.325 Jeff felt like this was gonna be a year of yes, saying yes 114 00:22:55.325 --> 00:22:57.845 to serving, saying yes to being all in with God. 115 00:22:57.985 --> 00:23:01.765 And one of those yeses Jeff made was to be baptized 116 00:23:02.305 --> 00:23:03.845 as a follower of Jesus Christ. 117 00:23:04.305 --> 00:23:06.525 And I would love for that to be a challenge for you 118 00:23:06.585 --> 00:23:09.445 or for you online if you have, if you're a follower of Jesus 119 00:23:09.585 --> 00:23:11.925 and you've never been baptized in water, we would love 120 00:23:11.925 --> 00:23:14.405 to celebrate that stuff of faith with you. 121 00:23:15.025 --> 00:23:17.445 And if you're interested in talking with us more about that, 122 00:23:17.445 --> 00:23:22.285 just simply text the word baptism to 7 2 9 8 9 right now. 123 00:23:22.935 --> 00:23:26.005 Let's check out what God has been doing in the life of Jeff. 124 00:23:32.035 --> 00:23:33.815 Hey, I'm Jeff Wallace. I volunteer. 125 00:23:34.155 --> 00:23:36.135 I'm a roadie every other weekend right now. 126 00:23:36.445 --> 00:23:38.855 I've made this year, the year of yes, in answering all 127 00:23:38.855 --> 00:23:43.495 of his calls, I need to live my life better and live day in 128 00:23:43.495 --> 00:23:46.285 and day out, uh, for Jesus following him 129 00:23:46.545 --> 00:23:49.965 and spreading the gospel and trying to be his hands 130 00:23:49.965 --> 00:23:52.125 and feet, join a small group, started serving 131 00:23:52.425 --> 00:23:54.445 and I've jumped, you know, both feet in 132 00:23:54.545 --> 00:23:56.325 and just yes to anything that he asked. 133 00:23:56.435 --> 00:23:59.245 This small group's just so amazing in that like they saw 134 00:23:59.245 --> 00:24:01.165 that the food pantry didn't have cereal 135 00:24:01.585 --> 00:24:03.965 and put it out in the, the group text. 136 00:24:04.065 --> 00:24:05.965 And within an hour, there's 110 boxes 137 00:24:06.025 --> 00:24:07.685 of cereal in the bins up front. 138 00:24:07.915 --> 00:24:09.365 It's just amazing to see what he does. 139 00:24:09.585 --> 00:24:11.365 We joke in the small group that, you know, 140 00:24:11.365 --> 00:24:13.245 you can't join our small group unless you serve. 141 00:24:13.525 --> 00:24:15.525 A lot of us are roadies. Some of us are in next steps. 142 00:24:15.665 --> 00:24:19.165 And it honestly brings me joy to be the first face 143 00:24:19.165 --> 00:24:21.605 that somebody sees when they walk in and, and greet them 144 00:24:21.725 --> 00:24:23.365 and good morning and, you know, 145 00:24:23.365 --> 00:24:24.725 help them find a parking spot 146 00:24:24.905 --> 00:24:26.205 and, you know, help them get 147 00:24:26.205 --> 00:24:27.285 in and find where they need to go. 148 00:24:27.505 --> 00:24:29.245 And it's just, it's, it's amazing. 149 00:24:29.355 --> 00:24:31.645 From the last, you know, six months to a year, 150 00:24:31.795 --> 00:24:35.805 I've fully immersed, got into small groups, decided 151 00:24:35.805 --> 00:24:37.525 to rededicate myself through baptism. 152 00:24:37.745 --> 00:24:39.045 My daughter asked to be baptized. 153 00:24:39.065 --> 00:24:42.125 She is, she was seven when she asked. She's eight now. 154 00:24:42.645 --> 00:24:43.925 Honestly, God just kind of laid it on my heart. 155 00:24:44.205 --> 00:24:46.445 I mean, without the journey that I've been on, like I, 156 00:24:46.685 --> 00:24:50.285 I don't feel like I would be nearly as close to God as I am. 157 00:24:50.545 --> 00:24:52.645 You know, you come in and what can church do for me? 158 00:24:52.665 --> 00:24:55.845 And I sit down and I listen to a sermon, to how can I serve? 159 00:24:56.265 --> 00:25:00.365 How can I spread the, the news of Jesus throughout my life, 160 00:25:00.365 --> 00:25:02.525 through just people I interact with every single day. 161 00:25:02.575 --> 00:25:04.565 Every week we're, we're bringing new guys in 162 00:25:04.865 --> 00:25:07.365 and, you know, trying to help them walk without that group, 163 00:25:07.425 --> 00:25:08.725 my journey wouldn't even be the same. 164 00:25:08.955 --> 00:25:12.245 Like, you need that core group of men that follow Jesus, 165 00:25:12.315 --> 00:25:14.205 that can support you in your walk 166 00:25:14.585 --> 00:25:15.965 and you support them in theirs. 167 00:25:16.185 --> 00:25:17.565 And that community keeps growing. 168 00:25:17.785 --> 00:25:19.285 The biggest encouragement I can get 169 00:25:19.285 --> 00:25:21.005 to anybody is just jump in. 170 00:25:21.315 --> 00:25:24.605 Just dive in, do it. I guarantee you that it'll be worth it. 171 00:25:34.535 --> 00:25:36.185 Well, I am grateful that Jeff 172 00:25:36.205 --> 00:25:39.145 and his family are part of our Apex Campus family. 173 00:25:39.365 --> 00:25:41.985 And, uh, it's just great to hear him share his story. 174 00:25:42.165 --> 00:25:44.945 And that story is actually the perfect setup for my sermon 175 00:25:44.945 --> 00:25:48.905 because you clear, you see his clear response to the gospel. 176 00:25:49.365 --> 00:25:51.905 And, and that's what we're talking about today, our response 177 00:25:51.925 --> 00:25:55.105 to the gospel, uh, as it pertains to marriage. 178 00:25:55.845 --> 00:26:00.745 And so speaking of marriage, if the first words 179 00:26:00.815 --> 00:26:03.185 that you hear your wife say are, Hey, 180 00:26:03.685 --> 00:26:05.505 are you even listening to me right now? 181 00:26:05.605 --> 00:26:08.265 And you think to yourself, well, that's a strange way 182 00:26:08.265 --> 00:26:11.305 to start the conversation, then, uh, you, 183 00:26:11.305 --> 00:26:12.505 you're already in trouble. 184 00:26:13.485 --> 00:26:15.345 You've got, as I see it, two options. 185 00:26:15.485 --> 00:26:16.505 One, you can just lie 186 00:26:16.505 --> 00:26:18.425 and say, yeah, of course honey, I'm listening to you. 187 00:26:18.525 --> 00:26:21.825 And, and just roll the dice and pretend that there is no, 188 00:26:22.085 --> 00:26:23.785 and pray that there is no follow up. 189 00:26:24.045 --> 00:26:26.145 That's, that's a really bad option. 190 00:26:26.175 --> 00:26:28.225 There's always going to be follow up. 191 00:26:28.285 --> 00:26:30.065 So I recommend option two. 192 00:26:30.065 --> 00:26:31.305 This is the option I choose 193 00:26:31.305 --> 00:26:34.185 after 23 years of marriage, when my wife asks me, 194 00:26:34.245 --> 00:26:35.425 are you even listening to me? 195 00:26:35.425 --> 00:26:39.265 Right, right now I just say, no, and I apologize. 196 00:26:39.725 --> 00:26:40.785 And she starts over. 197 00:26:41.285 --> 00:26:44.565 And, uh, I'm not even saying that that's right, 198 00:26:45.025 --> 00:26:46.725 but at least it's honest. 199 00:26:47.365 --> 00:26:49.565 I, I think my problem is I have whatever the 200 00:26:49.765 --> 00:26:50.845 opposite of a DD is. 201 00:26:50.965 --> 00:26:53.085 I can like focus on one thing 202 00:26:53.085 --> 00:26:56.045 and only one thing at a time with like crazy amount 203 00:26:56.045 --> 00:26:59.005 of concentration and I block out everything else around me. 204 00:26:59.005 --> 00:27:00.485 Does anybody else know anyone like that? 205 00:27:00.585 --> 00:27:02.205 Anyone married to someone like that? 206 00:27:02.605 --> 00:27:03.845 I don't think I'm the only one, 207 00:27:04.985 --> 00:27:08.925 but sadly what I'm thinking about mostly in 208 00:27:08.925 --> 00:27:10.125 those times is me. 209 00:27:10.275 --> 00:27:13.325 It's my things. It's my sermons, it's my meetings 210 00:27:13.325 --> 00:27:15.525 and lessons that I'm trying to, uh, prepare for. 211 00:27:15.995 --> 00:27:19.965 It's me. I have a selfish heart problem. 212 00:27:20.665 --> 00:27:22.285 And I tell you this because I don't stand 213 00:27:22.285 --> 00:27:25.325 before you today as the expert on all things marriage. 214 00:27:25.425 --> 00:27:27.725 I'm not the perfect example in all things marriage. 215 00:27:27.885 --> 00:27:29.045 I stand before you today 216 00:27:29.065 --> 00:27:31.205 as a co struggler among you in marriage. 217 00:27:32.185 --> 00:27:34.405 I'm part of the problem. I'm selfish. 218 00:27:34.865 --> 00:27:37.805 And to make matters worse, all of us have an enemy 219 00:27:37.905 --> 00:27:40.085 who knows about our selfish heart problem. 220 00:27:40.185 --> 00:27:41.445 And you see in scripture 221 00:27:41.475 --> 00:27:44.045 that the first thing Satan attacks is a married couple. 222 00:27:44.105 --> 00:27:45.885 And he's up to the same things today. 223 00:27:46.275 --> 00:27:48.045 It's what he's going after all the time. 224 00:27:48.105 --> 00:27:51.685 And he's actually having, uh, a, a, a pretty good run of it. 225 00:27:53.295 --> 00:27:54.835 As the marriage pastor of hope, 226 00:27:55.345 --> 00:27:59.595 perhaps more than anyone else on staff, I get to see a, a, 227 00:27:59.715 --> 00:28:02.195 a front row view of marriages that have busted 228 00:28:02.195 --> 00:28:04.315 through the guardrails and careened over the cliff 229 00:28:04.615 --> 00:28:05.995 and landed in despair. 230 00:28:06.235 --> 00:28:08.315 I, I I watch over 231 00:28:08.335 --> 00:28:11.235 and over the wake of destruction 232 00:28:11.255 --> 00:28:13.315 of broken marriages impacting generations. 233 00:28:14.955 --> 00:28:16.955 Honestly, it's, it's overwhelming. It's heartbreaking. 234 00:28:18.125 --> 00:28:20.055 There's times when I'm in my office 235 00:28:20.155 --> 00:28:22.535 and I just close the door and I weep 236 00:28:23.005 --> 00:28:25.255 because the voicemails keep coming. 237 00:28:25.315 --> 00:28:26.415 The emails keep coming. 238 00:28:26.675 --> 00:28:30.055 Uh, the prayer requests keep coming in from hurting couples. 239 00:28:30.055 --> 00:28:33.455 And sometimes as I sit with struggling couples, I think 240 00:28:33.455 --> 00:28:36.335 to myself, I, I wish we could have had this conversation 241 00:28:36.465 --> 00:28:40.375 years ago because God's truth could 242 00:28:40.375 --> 00:28:41.495 have changed everything. 243 00:28:43.775 --> 00:28:47.315 But also as the marriage pastor, I want you to know, 244 00:28:47.415 --> 00:28:48.475 not every day is like that. 245 00:28:49.235 --> 00:28:51.635 I also get a front row view of something else. 246 00:28:51.795 --> 00:28:54.275 I also get to see God do some incredible things 247 00:28:54.275 --> 00:28:56.315 that you might think are impossible. 248 00:28:56.385 --> 00:28:58.275 I've seen separated couples 249 00:28:58.375 --> 00:29:00.515 and even divorced couples get back together 250 00:29:00.935 --> 00:29:02.515 and begin to thrive in marriage. 251 00:29:02.625 --> 00:29:06.475 I've seen couples survive the devastation of infidelity 252 00:29:06.615 --> 00:29:09.035 or the tragedy of a lost child 253 00:29:09.415 --> 00:29:11.475 and then still find harmony in their marriage 254 00:29:11.535 --> 00:29:14.435 as they faithfully, uh, uh, as they stay faithful 255 00:29:14.435 --> 00:29:15.715 to each other and to God. 256 00:29:15.745 --> 00:29:19.435 I've seen angry, prideful, resentful husbands 257 00:29:19.435 --> 00:29:22.795 and wives exhausted and worn out. 258 00:29:23.025 --> 00:29:24.915 I've seen them fall on their knees 259 00:29:25.095 --> 00:29:27.355 and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. 260 00:29:27.455 --> 00:29:28.515 And later I've been able to, 261 00:29:28.535 --> 00:29:32.515 to perform their vow renewal ceremonies for all the days 262 00:29:32.515 --> 00:29:33.715 that I want to weep. 263 00:29:33.715 --> 00:29:35.875 There are just as many days where I just wanna 264 00:29:36.435 --> 00:29:38.595 sing about God's saving grace. 265 00:29:39.035 --> 00:29:42.725 'cause he is so good. You know what, all these stories, 266 00:29:42.725 --> 00:29:44.485 well, the good ones that I wanna sing about, you know 267 00:29:44.485 --> 00:29:45.485 what they all have in common? 268 00:29:45.895 --> 00:29:46.965 Every single one of them, 269 00:29:46.965 --> 00:29:49.565 these couples fell in love with Jesus. 270 00:29:50.305 --> 00:29:53.045 And importantly, they decided 271 00:29:53.185 --> 00:29:55.725 to follow his word even when it was heart. 272 00:29:56.745 --> 00:30:01.005 In other words, God's truth changed 273 00:30:01.005 --> 00:30:02.365 everything in their stories. 274 00:30:04.125 --> 00:30:05.125 I I want you to know, 275 00:30:05.285 --> 00:30:08.485 I have prayerfully agonized over this sermon 276 00:30:08.745 --> 00:30:09.845 in, in my preparation. 277 00:30:09.965 --> 00:30:11.845 I don't think I've, I've ever agonized more 278 00:30:12.065 --> 00:30:13.965 or any sermon I've ever, uh, prepared for. 279 00:30:14.045 --> 00:30:16.845 I, I feared that it might come across as too harsh 280 00:30:16.985 --> 00:30:18.885 or too judgy or I might lose the room 281 00:30:18.905 --> 00:30:20.925 or that I won't connect with one 282 00:30:20.925 --> 00:30:22.965 of the unique perspectives that you bring today. 283 00:30:22.965 --> 00:30:26.085 Maybe I'll miss someone who's single or dating or engaged 284 00:30:26.185 --> 00:30:27.805 or married or divorced 285 00:30:27.865 --> 00:30:29.565 or widowed, that I just might miss someone. 286 00:30:29.625 --> 00:30:31.845 Or, or as I'm sharing God's word with you, 287 00:30:31.845 --> 00:30:34.605 sharing God's truth that it might land in your lap like a 288 00:30:34.675 --> 00:30:36.005 grenade going off. 289 00:30:38.025 --> 00:30:39.405 But we need God's truth 290 00:30:39.915 --> 00:30:42.805 because we believe God's way is best. 291 00:30:44.515 --> 00:30:46.865 God's word is alive. It's living, it's active. 292 00:30:46.965 --> 00:30:49.105 It wouldn't be loving if I don't share it. 293 00:30:49.105 --> 00:30:51.465 So today I'm choosing to stand on this. 294 00:30:51.605 --> 00:30:53.865 I'm choosing to stand on God's word, 295 00:30:54.205 --> 00:30:57.265 but I pray that I will teach it as faithfully and accurately 296 00:30:57.265 --> 00:30:58.665 and as graciously as I can 297 00:30:58.665 --> 00:31:00.025 because we definitely need His grace. 298 00:31:01.875 --> 00:31:04.155 I believe the problem in marriage today 299 00:31:05.305 --> 00:31:07.125 is we've forgotten what his word says. 300 00:31:08.675 --> 00:31:10.225 Think about the state of marriage today 301 00:31:10.225 --> 00:31:11.905 that's contrary to God's design. 302 00:31:12.345 --> 00:31:14.865 Cohabitation before marriage is the norm. 303 00:31:15.565 --> 00:31:17.825 Sex before marriage is expected, 304 00:31:17.975 --> 00:31:21.865 it's assumed believers are dating and marrying unbelievers. 305 00:31:22.245 --> 00:31:24.065 We petition the government to legalize 306 00:31:24.175 --> 00:31:25.465 what he never designed. 307 00:31:25.645 --> 00:31:27.625 We, we, uh, are addicted 308 00:31:27.885 --> 00:31:30.345 to pornography rather than cultivating a sex 309 00:31:30.345 --> 00:31:31.385 life with our spouse. 310 00:31:32.015 --> 00:31:35.425 Divorce is always a valid option on the table as soon 311 00:31:35.425 --> 00:31:37.705 as our needs are no longer being met in marriage. 312 00:31:38.245 --> 00:31:41.025 And again, I'm not even talking about outside the church. 313 00:31:41.165 --> 00:31:42.185 I'm talking about right here. 314 00:31:43.455 --> 00:31:46.235 We say around here that we are a family 315 00:31:46.255 --> 00:31:47.435 of families and I love that. 316 00:31:47.855 --> 00:31:50.155 So married or single, this includes all of us. 317 00:31:50.295 --> 00:31:53.355 But a united church must have united marriages 318 00:31:53.895 --> 00:31:55.955 for our family of families. 319 00:31:55.955 --> 00:31:58.795 To be a healthy family of families, we have 320 00:31:58.795 --> 00:32:01.235 to have healthy individual families. 321 00:32:01.675 --> 00:32:04.355 I envision our church, like the name on each 322 00:32:04.355 --> 00:32:07.795 of our buildings, says as a beacon of hope for families, 323 00:32:08.105 --> 00:32:11.595 that we would be a refuge, that we would be a hospital 324 00:32:11.655 --> 00:32:13.595 for broken hearts and broken relationships. 325 00:32:13.595 --> 00:32:16.715 That we'd have an army of men and women that are equipped 326 00:32:16.735 --> 00:32:20.075 and committed to sharing God's gospel, his grace, 327 00:32:20.375 --> 00:32:22.835 and also the guardrails of God's truth with family. 328 00:32:22.975 --> 00:32:25.835 So that, that, that this would begin even in our own homes. 329 00:32:27.635 --> 00:32:29.455 But that whenever we gather and 330 00:32:29.895 --> 00:32:32.935 whenever we gather, that people would encounter right now 331 00:32:33.045 --> 00:32:35.495 real life encouragement from God's word 332 00:32:35.495 --> 00:32:37.815 that can reunite families back together 333 00:32:37.875 --> 00:32:41.525 and reunite them back to God, that, that families, 334 00:32:41.525 --> 00:32:43.045 that hope would be thriving. 335 00:32:44.785 --> 00:32:48.925 So I ask you today, what story 336 00:32:49.465 --> 00:32:51.205 do you want your marriage to tell? 337 00:32:52.715 --> 00:32:54.255 You can answer this even if you're single 338 00:32:54.255 --> 00:32:55.495 and one day want to be marriage. 339 00:32:55.495 --> 00:32:59.015 What, what story do you want your marriage to tell? 340 00:32:59.915 --> 00:33:02.295 And if you're married today, what story is your marriage 341 00:33:02.295 --> 00:33:04.095 telling right now? 342 00:33:05.045 --> 00:33:06.095 Well, here's some good news. 343 00:33:07.005 --> 00:33:08.455 It's not too late 344 00:33:08.475 --> 00:33:10.495 to change the story your marriage is telling. 345 00:33:10.545 --> 00:33:13.535 We're gonna find the instructions in God's word today, 346 00:33:13.815 --> 00:33:17.695 instructions that I've seen save hundreds of marriages when, 347 00:33:17.965 --> 00:33:19.655 because they followed what he says. 348 00:33:19.715 --> 00:33:21.015 And I'll save you the suspense. 349 00:33:21.015 --> 00:33:23.095 The instructions today are really, really hard. 350 00:33:23.645 --> 00:33:25.855 There's no quick, easy fix to this. 351 00:33:26.795 --> 00:33:29.735 But applying these truths to your marriage is nothing short 352 00:33:29.795 --> 00:33:31.775 of of earth shattering it. 353 00:33:32.315 --> 00:33:37.175 You can experience harmony, you can experience joy, 354 00:33:37.435 --> 00:33:40.775 and yes, you can experience pleasure in marriage. 355 00:33:40.835 --> 00:33:45.375 Do I have your attention? And it's all for the glory of God. 356 00:33:46.235 --> 00:33:48.655 God wants your marriage to thrive. 357 00:33:49.075 --> 00:33:50.975 So today we're looking at two stories, the gospel, 358 00:33:51.035 --> 00:33:52.175 and we're looking at marriage. 359 00:33:52.775 --> 00:33:56.095 'cause we will not think rightly about marriage 360 00:33:56.385 --> 00:33:58.215 until we think rightly about the gospel. 361 00:33:58.755 --> 00:34:00.335 So turn with me if you have your Bible 362 00:34:00.395 --> 00:34:02.255 to Ephesians chapter five. 363 00:34:02.265 --> 00:34:04.415 We're gonna start in verse 22. 364 00:34:04.875 --> 00:34:07.535 And I'm gonna read the entire passage in its entirety. 365 00:34:07.605 --> 00:34:09.295 It's, it's a little bit long, but we have 366 00:34:09.395 --> 00:34:11.575 to keep the entire passage in context. 367 00:34:11.715 --> 00:34:13.495 We can get in trouble if we take certain 368 00:34:13.505 --> 00:34:15.175 parts apart from the whole. 369 00:34:15.435 --> 00:34:17.535 And as I'm reading, what I want you to see is that no, 370 00:34:17.635 --> 00:34:20.815 not only are we talking about marriage, uh, but Paul 371 00:34:20.815 --> 00:34:23.375 and his passage is also talking about the gospel, 372 00:34:23.505 --> 00:34:25.055 about a relationship with God. 373 00:34:25.515 --> 00:34:27.655 So starting in verse 22, it says, wives submit 374 00:34:27.655 --> 00:34:29.655 to your own husbands as to the Lord. 375 00:34:30.315 --> 00:34:32.215 For the husband is the head of the wife, even 376 00:34:32.215 --> 00:34:34.095 as Christ is the head of the church's body 377 00:34:34.315 --> 00:34:36.295 and is himself its Savior now 378 00:34:36.295 --> 00:34:37.615 as the church submits to Christ. 379 00:34:37.715 --> 00:34:40.375 So also wives should submit in everything to their husbands, 380 00:34:41.055 --> 00:34:43.895 husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church 381 00:34:43.915 --> 00:34:46.495 and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify, 382 00:34:46.495 --> 00:34:50.095 having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so 383 00:34:50.095 --> 00:34:51.575 that he might present the church 384 00:34:51.575 --> 00:34:54.735 to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle 385 00:34:54.735 --> 00:34:56.895 or any such thing that she might be 386 00:34:56.895 --> 00:34:58.415 holy and without blemish. 387 00:34:58.875 --> 00:35:00.535 In the same way, husband should love their 388 00:35:00.545 --> 00:35:01.695 wives as their own bodies. 389 00:35:02.355 --> 00:35:04.615 He who loves his wife, loves himself 390 00:35:04.995 --> 00:35:07.335 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes 391 00:35:07.435 --> 00:35:10.375 and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, 392 00:35:10.605 --> 00:35:12.935 because we are members of his body. 393 00:35:13.445 --> 00:35:15.455 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother 394 00:35:15.455 --> 00:35:16.575 and hold fast to his wife, 395 00:35:16.575 --> 00:35:18.015 and the two shall become one flesh. 396 00:35:18.845 --> 00:35:20.615 This mystery is profound, 397 00:35:20.955 --> 00:35:23.255 and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 398 00:35:23.725 --> 00:35:27.215 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself 399 00:35:27.355 --> 00:35:30.175 and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 400 00:35:31.595 --> 00:35:32.815 You see, from Genesis 401 00:35:33.035 --> 00:35:35.535 to Revelation in this story in the Bible, we get 402 00:35:35.675 --> 00:35:38.805 to hear the love story of God as he works to redeem 403 00:35:38.865 --> 00:35:41.525 and to unite all things together in him. 404 00:35:42.765 --> 00:35:44.365 Marriage is a part of God's creation. 405 00:35:44.365 --> 00:35:46.365 In the beginning it was his design. 406 00:35:46.475 --> 00:35:47.925 It's not man's invention, 407 00:35:48.105 --> 00:35:50.325 but with the first married couple, instead 408 00:35:50.325 --> 00:35:52.445 of following God's instruction, 409 00:35:53.425 --> 00:35:55.565 the first married couple followed their selfish hearts, 410 00:35:55.595 --> 00:35:57.205 just like you and I do sometimes. 411 00:35:58.105 --> 00:36:00.645 And it comes with horrific consequences. 412 00:36:00.785 --> 00:36:02.485 We see it unfold in Genesis three, 413 00:36:02.485 --> 00:36:05.085 that shame is introduced for the first time. 414 00:36:05.135 --> 00:36:06.645 Death becomes a reality. 415 00:36:06.715 --> 00:36:09.725 Work becomes arduous, childbirth becomes painful. 416 00:36:10.105 --> 00:36:13.085 And look at the words that God says to Eve. 417 00:36:13.705 --> 00:36:16.645 He says, your desire shall be contrary to your husband, 418 00:36:17.225 --> 00:36:18.805 but he shall rule over you. 419 00:36:19.785 --> 00:36:23.125 In other words, sin is going to cause an ongoing struggle 420 00:36:23.225 --> 00:36:26.525 for leadership and control in marriage that instead of the, 421 00:36:26.665 --> 00:36:27.925 the harmony, the joy 422 00:36:27.985 --> 00:36:30.565 and the pleasure, all for God's glory, that we were designed 423 00:36:30.565 --> 00:36:33.085 to experience, that there's gonna be opposition. 424 00:36:33.315 --> 00:36:36.405 That husbands and wives will be fighting for their needs, 425 00:36:36.465 --> 00:36:37.845 for their independence, for their, 426 00:36:37.845 --> 00:36:39.245 their control and their freedom. 427 00:36:40.185 --> 00:36:43.405 And once sin is introduced into families in the story 428 00:36:43.405 --> 00:36:45.765 of the Bible, things get ugly quick. 429 00:36:46.435 --> 00:36:48.205 Like on the very next page, Adam 430 00:36:48.265 --> 00:36:50.805 and Eve's children start murdering each other. 431 00:36:51.665 --> 00:36:53.645 And the story sadly, is marked 432 00:36:53.745 --> 00:36:55.885 by repeated infidelity to God. 433 00:36:56.625 --> 00:36:58.605 But several times throughout the Old Testament, 434 00:36:58.605 --> 00:36:59.685 we see something remarkable. 435 00:37:00.265 --> 00:37:02.885 We see this shocking marriage proposal 436 00:37:03.435 --> 00:37:06.885 that God himself offers a covenantal relationship 437 00:37:06.885 --> 00:37:08.525 with his unfaithful bride. 438 00:37:08.525 --> 00:37:11.605 It's like God says, do you take me as your groom? 439 00:37:12.865 --> 00:37:16.725 And the people literally reply in Exodus 19 eight, we do. 440 00:37:18.125 --> 00:37:20.465 But there's a massive problem that's unaddressed. 441 00:37:21.725 --> 00:37:24.065 See, being the bride of a holy God requires 442 00:37:24.065 --> 00:37:25.585 that the bride is made holy 443 00:37:26.405 --> 00:37:30.585 and God's bride, God's people continue in infidelity. 444 00:37:32.295 --> 00:37:34.955 And despite our repeated infidelity, 445 00:37:36.215 --> 00:37:38.675 God never gives up on his bride. 446 00:37:39.425 --> 00:37:41.435 It's what makes this so beautiful is 447 00:37:41.435 --> 00:37:43.035 what makes the gospel so astonishing. 448 00:37:43.215 --> 00:37:44.955 Uh, out of his relentless love for us. 449 00:37:44.955 --> 00:37:49.395 The Father sends his only son, Jesus Christ, God himself, 450 00:37:49.695 --> 00:37:52.595 to be our bridegroom five times in the gospel 451 00:37:52.695 --> 00:37:54.875 as Jesus refers to himself as our bridegroom. 452 00:37:56.025 --> 00:38:00.685 And Jesus love. His story is completely different than ours. 453 00:38:00.905 --> 00:38:03.045 He tells a completely different story. 454 00:38:03.045 --> 00:38:04.405 Instead of selfishness, 455 00:38:04.895 --> 00:38:08.325 Jesus lives in constant submission to the Father. 456 00:38:08.825 --> 00:38:11.965 And, and he lives in self-sacrifice, 457 00:38:12.425 --> 00:38:14.205 self-sacrificing love for his bride. 458 00:38:14.605 --> 00:38:16.525 Remember those two things, submission 459 00:38:16.745 --> 00:38:18.125 to the father's instruction 460 00:38:18.425 --> 00:38:20.845 and self-sacrificing love for his bride. 461 00:38:21.935 --> 00:38:23.805 We're gonna come back to those two ingredients later. 462 00:38:24.185 --> 00:38:26.845 And then Jesus, he suffers the ultimate penalty 463 00:38:27.425 --> 00:38:31.405 on our behalf, pays the ultimate sacrifice going on a cross 464 00:38:31.405 --> 00:38:34.725 that you and I deserve, paying the penalty for our sin. 465 00:38:34.725 --> 00:38:38.965 And he dies. But Jesus does not stay dead. He's risen. 466 00:38:39.195 --> 00:38:41.565 He's alive today and he's ascended and 467 00:38:41.565 --> 00:38:43.445 and he's seated at the right hand of the Father. 468 00:38:43.465 --> 00:38:45.845 And he upholds the universe by the word of his power. 469 00:38:45.865 --> 00:38:47.765 And he doesn't even leave us by any 470 00:38:47.765 --> 00:38:48.765 who put their faith in him. 471 00:38:48.765 --> 00:38:51.045 He sends his Holy Spirit so he could be with us. 472 00:38:52.205 --> 00:38:53.865 But that's not even the end. You guys. 473 00:38:54.815 --> 00:38:57.145 Have you ever read like the very end of this? 474 00:38:57.145 --> 00:38:59.665 Have, do you know how the story ends? It's amazing. 475 00:39:01.275 --> 00:39:03.045 It's a wedding celebration. 476 00:39:05.375 --> 00:39:06.395 The bride of Jesus. 477 00:39:06.855 --> 00:39:11.315 The church is finally presented to the bridegroom, not 478 00:39:11.315 --> 00:39:13.115 as unfaithful, but as pure, 479 00:39:13.335 --> 00:39:15.315 as stunning dressed in dazzling white. 480 00:39:15.335 --> 00:39:16.555 You gotta read about it. You can, 481 00:39:16.655 --> 00:39:19.275 you can check it out in Revelation 19 through 22. 482 00:39:20.185 --> 00:39:23.915 It's the stunning conclusion of this, this ultimate marriage 483 00:39:23.915 --> 00:39:26.915 that unfolds, that gives every single one of us hope today. 484 00:39:29.185 --> 00:39:32.725 Now, we need to keep that gospel story in mind 485 00:39:33.025 --> 00:39:35.205 as we think about our marriage 486 00:39:36.075 --> 00:39:39.685 because it's that gospel story that has the power 487 00:39:39.825 --> 00:39:42.725 to change the story that our marriage is telling today. 488 00:39:44.205 --> 00:39:46.105 The entire section of scripture that, uh, 489 00:39:46.105 --> 00:39:47.785 we're looking at today is called the household, 490 00:39:47.885 --> 00:39:49.145 the household code. 491 00:39:49.405 --> 00:39:51.585 And Paul sets it up with the verse right before. 492 00:39:51.685 --> 00:39:53.225 So again, if you're, if you're, uh, 493 00:39:53.545 --> 00:39:56.305 tracking along in your Bible, if you look back to verse 21, 494 00:39:56.765 --> 00:39:58.785 it says this submitting to one another, 495 00:39:59.645 --> 00:40:01.745 and then Paul's gonna like break that down. 496 00:40:02.065 --> 00:40:04.705 Specifically what that means is submission means first wives 497 00:40:04.705 --> 00:40:06.265 to their husbands, then children to their parents, 498 00:40:06.445 --> 00:40:08.505 and then bond servants to their masters. 499 00:40:10.005 --> 00:40:13.065 And then in that same verse, he gives our motivation to this 500 00:40:14.265 --> 00:40:16.045 out of reverence to Christ. 501 00:40:17.755 --> 00:40:19.645 Like every single one of those stories 502 00:40:19.645 --> 00:40:22.685 that I I told you about that make me want to sing Jesus 503 00:40:23.265 --> 00:40:24.405 is the motivation. 504 00:40:25.065 --> 00:40:27.165 And keep in mind who he's talking to here, 505 00:40:27.315 --> 00:40:28.965 he's talking to Christians. 506 00:40:29.435 --> 00:40:31.085 This motivation would be meaningless 507 00:40:31.085 --> 00:40:32.685 to anyone who's an unbeliever. 508 00:40:32.785 --> 00:40:34.165 But that's not who he's talking to. 509 00:40:34.275 --> 00:40:37.125 He's talking to people that were once dead in their 510 00:40:37.285 --> 00:40:38.485 trespasses and sins 511 00:40:38.585 --> 00:40:40.925 and are now made alive together with him. 512 00:40:42.305 --> 00:40:45.935 In light of that good news, we can live in a new way 513 00:40:46.515 --> 00:40:48.655 and it can completely change the story 514 00:40:48.655 --> 00:40:49.775 that your marriage is telling. 515 00:40:49.915 --> 00:40:54.455 So again, what story do you want your marriage to tell? 516 00:40:55.945 --> 00:40:58.515 Well, I'll tell you, God's desire, his desire is 517 00:40:58.515 --> 00:41:01.715 that your marriage tells the story of the gospel. 518 00:41:02.745 --> 00:41:04.115 Because when it does, 519 00:41:05.055 --> 00:41:07.355 that's when your marriage is gonna begin to thrive. 520 00:41:07.455 --> 00:41:10.475 That's when you're gonna experience the harmony and the joy 521 00:41:10.535 --> 00:41:12.835 and the pleasure, all for the glory of God. 522 00:41:13.135 --> 00:41:14.915 So how do we do this? How do we accomplish this? 523 00:41:14.915 --> 00:41:16.915 Well, we gotta look at God's word for the answer 524 00:41:16.915 --> 00:41:18.235 and I'll, I'll save you the suspense. 525 00:41:18.385 --> 00:41:20.195 It's the opposite of selfishness. 526 00:41:21.385 --> 00:41:24.545 Remember those two ingredients we saw in Jesus submission 527 00:41:24.545 --> 00:41:27.945 to God's instruction and self-sacrificing love. 528 00:41:27.945 --> 00:41:30.425 Those, those are the two ingredients we're gonna see here, 529 00:41:30.635 --> 00:41:32.505 given to wives and to husbands. 530 00:41:32.885 --> 00:41:35.725 So as Paul begins his instructions to wives in verse 22, 531 00:41:35.845 --> 00:41:38.645 I want you to look how often he connects marriage again 532 00:41:39.345 --> 00:41:41.485 to the gospel, to our relationship with God. 533 00:41:42.025 --> 00:41:45.845 He says, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 534 00:41:46.265 --> 00:41:48.165 For the husband is the head of the wife, even 535 00:41:48.345 --> 00:41:51.485 as Christ is the head of the church, his body 536 00:41:51.505 --> 00:41:55.085 and is himself its Savior Now as the church submits 537 00:41:55.085 --> 00:41:57.405 to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything 538 00:41:57.405 --> 00:42:01.765 to their husbands wives, you are instructed 539 00:42:02.545 --> 00:42:04.725 to submit to your husband as to the Lord. 540 00:42:05.705 --> 00:42:09.725 Now, popular or not, it's not actually difficult language 541 00:42:09.725 --> 00:42:12.005 to understand here as to the Lord. 542 00:42:12.345 --> 00:42:14.125 It means that, uh, your attitude 543 00:42:14.145 --> 00:42:17.885 behind your submission should be as joyful as you coming in 544 00:42:18.025 --> 00:42:20.485 and and enjoying worship here today to God. 545 00:42:21.425 --> 00:42:24.325 In the word submit, it means to arrange under. 546 00:42:25.425 --> 00:42:26.685 But let's go right after it. 547 00:42:26.825 --> 00:42:28.005 Let, let's go right to the verse 548 00:42:28.005 --> 00:42:29.965 that you're hoping I would skip right over. 549 00:42:29.995 --> 00:42:31.285 Look back at verse 24. 550 00:42:31.305 --> 00:42:33.565 It says, wives should submit in 551 00:42:33.565 --> 00:42:35.565 everything to their husbands. 552 00:42:36.155 --> 00:42:38.245 Like, like in everything, everything. 553 00:42:38.345 --> 00:42:39.605 It it like, is he serious? 554 00:42:41.045 --> 00:42:44.445 I I feel like I probably should have had a joke ready here 555 00:42:44.685 --> 00:42:46.725 'cause I can, I can sense this is the moment the 556 00:42:46.725 --> 00:42:47.765 tension is, is building. 557 00:42:47.865 --> 00:42:51.765 But that that internal tension you feel is actually proof 558 00:42:51.765 --> 00:42:53.845 that Genesis three is true. 559 00:42:53.955 --> 00:42:56.565 That your desire will be contrary to your husband, 560 00:42:56.705 --> 00:42:58.125 but he will rule over you. 561 00:42:58.785 --> 00:43:00.245 But I wanna give you five helpful 562 00:43:00.245 --> 00:43:02.005 observations helpful for all of us. 563 00:43:02.265 --> 00:43:04.845 And husbands, I want you to pay specific instruction 564 00:43:04.845 --> 00:43:08.205 to these, uh, because many of them are addressed to you. 565 00:43:08.265 --> 00:43:10.725 So five helpful observations here about submission. 566 00:43:11.225 --> 00:43:15.405 Number one, it's not superiority or inferiority. 567 00:43:15.675 --> 00:43:19.885 Nowhere in these verses is Paul declaring wives inferior 568 00:43:20.155 --> 00:43:22.925 that man and woman are equal in dignity. 569 00:43:23.075 --> 00:43:24.605 That they're equal in redemption 570 00:43:24.765 --> 00:43:27.365 and they're equal as heirs of God's grace. 571 00:43:27.425 --> 00:43:29.005 You can look at one Peter three if you 572 00:43:29.005 --> 00:43:30.085 wanna find evidence of that. 573 00:43:30.545 --> 00:43:34.645 Two, it's not disregarding nowhere is Paul suggesting 574 00:43:34.645 --> 00:43:36.525 that we shouldn't listen to our wives. 575 00:43:36.675 --> 00:43:38.285 When I choose to ignore my wife. 576 00:43:38.335 --> 00:43:39.685 Trust me, it doesn't go well. 577 00:43:40.305 --> 00:43:41.685 We can be driving along in the car 578 00:43:41.685 --> 00:43:44.005 and she'll say, honey, your turn's coming up, don't forget. 579 00:43:44.005 --> 00:43:45.085 And I'm like, come on. 580 00:43:45.845 --> 00:43:47.805 I know my turn's coming up and what do I do? 581 00:43:48.165 --> 00:43:51.205 I I miss my turn. Of course it happens all the time. 582 00:43:51.985 --> 00:43:54.085 But it's not just the small things that I need 583 00:43:54.085 --> 00:43:55.125 to pay attention to her. 584 00:43:55.355 --> 00:43:57.285 It's, it's the big things that I lean on. 585 00:43:57.285 --> 00:44:00.245 Her wisdom, it's career decisions, it's parenting decisions, 586 00:44:00.605 --> 00:44:02.445 ministry decisions, financial decisions. 587 00:44:02.565 --> 00:44:04.885 I, I thank God for my wife's insights 588 00:44:04.885 --> 00:44:06.405 because she is a wise woman. 589 00:44:07.875 --> 00:44:10.545 Three, it's not abdicating responsibility. 590 00:44:10.765 --> 00:44:12.865 Paul's not suggesting even for a moment 591 00:44:12.895 --> 00:44:16.385 that a husband can just check out of his responsibilities 592 00:44:16.525 --> 00:44:18.345 and, and just, you know, sit on the couch 593 00:44:18.365 --> 00:44:19.545 and leave everything to his wife. 594 00:44:20.145 --> 00:44:23.585 Husbands, we need to reject passivity in our homes. 595 00:44:24.615 --> 00:44:26.825 Four, it's not demanded. 596 00:44:28.185 --> 00:44:30.865 I was meeting with a couple once, uh, husband and wife 597 00:44:31.345 --> 00:44:32.605 and they're sitting on my couch 598 00:44:32.625 --> 00:44:34.645 and the husband looks at me, looks right at me 599 00:44:34.645 --> 00:44:36.085 and he, his wife is sitting right there. 600 00:44:36.465 --> 00:44:38.965 He says, Dave, will you please tell her she 601 00:44:38.965 --> 00:44:40.045 needs to submit to me? 602 00:44:41.125 --> 00:44:44.675 I said, no, no, 603 00:44:44.755 --> 00:44:46.515 I will not tell her this poor woman. 604 00:44:47.305 --> 00:44:49.755 This is not what Paul is saying here. 605 00:44:49.755 --> 00:44:53.235 Nowhere in this passage is a husband given permission 606 00:44:53.255 --> 00:44:54.995 to demand submission. 607 00:44:55.455 --> 00:44:57.915 God is not setting up a tyranny here. 608 00:44:58.595 --> 00:45:00.595 A husband who verbally demands submission 609 00:45:00.595 --> 00:45:02.475 of his wife is already failing his wife. 610 00:45:02.815 --> 00:45:05.595 And the self-sacrificing love that God requires 611 00:45:05.615 --> 00:45:07.155 of him to his bride. 612 00:45:08.825 --> 00:45:12.515 Five, it's not unconditional obedience. 613 00:45:12.995 --> 00:45:15.035 I know it says submit in everything, 614 00:45:15.455 --> 00:45:18.155 but a wife should not submit to her husband 615 00:45:18.295 --> 00:45:21.795 as he disobeys God or he leads her or the family into sin. 616 00:45:22.535 --> 00:45:25.635 You can look at, uh, Peter's words in Acts 5 29. 617 00:45:25.935 --> 00:45:29.115 He says, we must obey God rather than men. 618 00:45:29.815 --> 00:45:31.315 And I wish I didn't have to say this, 619 00:45:33.675 --> 00:45:36.815 but a husband has no right to physical 620 00:45:36.835 --> 00:45:39.215 or sexual abuse over his wife 621 00:45:39.315 --> 00:45:41.255 by the misapplication of these verses. 622 00:45:41.995 --> 00:45:45.675 No, right. Quick time out 'cause it's getting heavy. 623 00:45:46.535 --> 00:45:47.955 Any brides to be in the room 624 00:45:47.975 --> 00:45:49.955 or any, any woman who's dating someone here, 625 00:45:51.595 --> 00:45:54.255 if you're not comfortable with the idea 626 00:45:54.395 --> 00:45:55.935 of one day submitting 627 00:45:55.935 --> 00:45:59.665 and everything to the man you're dating, do not marry him. 628 00:46:00.685 --> 00:46:02.645 Break up, run away. 629 00:46:03.535 --> 00:46:07.845 You are worth waiting for someone that you can trust, 630 00:46:08.235 --> 00:46:10.365 that you could confidently submit to 631 00:46:10.365 --> 00:46:13.605 because he's also committed to self-sacrificing love 632 00:46:13.825 --> 00:46:16.125 to you the way Jesus loves the church. 633 00:46:17.685 --> 00:46:19.825 So, question to wives as we wrap up this section. 634 00:46:21.875 --> 00:46:26.715 Wives ask, is my submission to my husband telling the story 635 00:46:27.055 --> 00:46:29.555 of the church joyfully submitting to Jesus? 636 00:46:31.775 --> 00:46:33.825 Alright, husbands, it's your turn, 637 00:46:35.655 --> 00:46:38.505 says in verse 25, husbands love your wives 638 00:46:38.605 --> 00:46:39.665 as Christ loved the church 639 00:46:39.665 --> 00:46:40.785 and gave himself up for her 640 00:46:40.785 --> 00:46:43.425 that he might sanctify having cleansed her by the washing 641 00:46:43.485 --> 00:46:44.785 of water with the word. 642 00:46:44.785 --> 00:46:46.105 So he might present the church 643 00:46:46.125 --> 00:46:49.105 to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle 644 00:46:49.245 --> 00:46:51.345 or any such thing that she might be 645 00:46:51.615 --> 00:46:53.065 holy and without blemish. 646 00:46:53.485 --> 00:46:54.865 In the same way, husbands should love 647 00:46:54.865 --> 00:46:55.945 their wives as their own bodies. 648 00:46:56.005 --> 00:46:57.985 He who loves his wife loves himself 649 00:46:58.205 --> 00:47:00.425 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes 650 00:47:00.565 --> 00:47:03.545 and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, 651 00:47:03.695 --> 00:47:06.065 because we are members of his body. 652 00:47:06.765 --> 00:47:10.025 See after the previous section to wives submitting 653 00:47:10.025 --> 00:47:12.105 to their husbands, you might assume that, okay, 654 00:47:12.165 --> 00:47:15.705 the instruction to husbands is gonna be to rule their wives. 655 00:47:15.935 --> 00:47:18.225 It's not husbands. 656 00:47:18.225 --> 00:47:23.115 You're not commanded to rule, you're commanded to love. 657 00:47:24.095 --> 00:47:27.275 And the the word that Paul uses here for love is agape. 658 00:47:27.295 --> 00:47:30.165 It means sacrificing love. 659 00:47:30.665 --> 00:47:33.285 So husbands, what you're commanded here is 660 00:47:33.285 --> 00:47:38.125 to sacrifice your agenda to set aside YY your desires 661 00:47:38.125 --> 00:47:39.765 to provide unceasing care 662 00:47:40.025 --> 00:47:42.685 and loving service to your wife's entire wellbeing. 663 00:47:43.945 --> 00:47:45.855 Agape love leaves no room for you 664 00:47:45.855 --> 00:47:47.455 to act in an overbearing fashion. 665 00:47:47.845 --> 00:47:51.295 It's it, it's patient, it's kind. It's not arrogant or rude. 666 00:47:51.315 --> 00:47:53.015 It doesn't insist on its own way. 667 00:47:53.205 --> 00:47:55.135 It's that every area of love 668 00:47:55.155 --> 00:47:58.935 for your wife would be characterized by self sacrifice, 669 00:47:59.855 --> 00:48:03.115 giving, serving, forgiving. 670 00:48:05.285 --> 00:48:07.575 Look at the words Paul uses in verse 29, 671 00:48:07.865 --> 00:48:10.655 nourishing cherishing as Christ does the church. 672 00:48:10.655 --> 00:48:11.695 These evoke an image 673 00:48:11.695 --> 00:48:14.135 of incredible tenderness and gentleness. 674 00:48:14.635 --> 00:48:17.455 God did not set you up as the dictator of your marriage. 675 00:48:17.815 --> 00:48:19.375 Husbands God set you up 676 00:48:19.595 --> 00:48:24.525 as the ultimate servant in your marriage, in the model. 677 00:48:24.545 --> 00:48:26.045 And the measuring stick he gives 678 00:48:26.045 --> 00:48:27.565 to husbands is Jesus himself. 679 00:48:28.835 --> 00:48:32.215 And Jesus went first in self-sacrificing love, didn't he? 680 00:48:33.225 --> 00:48:35.485 So husbands, you cannot wait 681 00:48:36.025 --> 00:48:37.485 for your wife to love you first. 682 00:48:37.765 --> 00:48:41.245 Husbands. You go first and the big decisions 683 00:48:41.245 --> 00:48:44.245 and an everyday decisions sacrifice your own interests 684 00:48:44.265 --> 00:48:46.445 to nourish and to cherish your wife. 685 00:48:46.675 --> 00:48:49.045 Just, just be a gentleman. Open the door for her. 686 00:48:49.355 --> 00:48:51.725 Kiss her when you come home for work. Tell her you love her. 687 00:48:51.725 --> 00:48:53.405 Wait for her to get her food 688 00:48:53.405 --> 00:48:55.405 before you start digging into your own food. 689 00:48:55.435 --> 00:48:56.685 Like a, like a savage. 690 00:48:57.895 --> 00:49:00.645 Don't stay late again and again and again at work. 691 00:49:00.695 --> 00:49:02.645 Don't spend every weekend on the golf course 692 00:49:02.665 --> 00:49:04.485 or on the boat away from your family. 693 00:49:04.905 --> 00:49:06.285 Prefer her over yourself. 694 00:49:06.815 --> 00:49:08.965 Watch the movie that she wants to watch 695 00:49:08.985 --> 00:49:11.525 and go to the restaurant that she wants to go to. 696 00:49:12.075 --> 00:49:13.605 Most of our date nights, they end up 697 00:49:13.605 --> 00:49:14.645 at the Mexican restaurant. 698 00:49:14.665 --> 00:49:18.165 You wanna know why? 'cause my wife loves steak tacos 699 00:49:18.425 --> 00:49:22.365 and quesadillas in an occasional margarita responsibly. 700 00:49:22.555 --> 00:49:24.325 Okay? That's why we end up there. 701 00:49:24.545 --> 00:49:25.605 And I know what you're thinking. 702 00:49:25.845 --> 00:49:29.085 I know, I know if only my wife would actually tell me 703 00:49:29.085 --> 00:49:30.765 where we want to go to eat when I ask her. 704 00:49:30.765 --> 00:49:32.125 Right. I I know. I feel you. 705 00:49:32.275 --> 00:49:33.765 Well husbands, you can step up 706 00:49:33.765 --> 00:49:35.005 and you can lead in this area. 707 00:49:35.155 --> 00:49:37.085 Pick a place that you know she will like 708 00:49:37.835 --> 00:49:39.925 otherwise, just come hang out 709 00:49:39.925 --> 00:49:41.325 and get tacos with Cindy and me. 710 00:49:41.325 --> 00:49:42.845 We'll make it a double date. Sound good? 711 00:49:44.265 --> 00:49:49.045 Um, look, husbands, in all seriousness, 712 00:49:49.545 --> 00:49:53.155 the weight of our responsibility is overwhelming. 713 00:49:54.015 --> 00:49:56.795 Not only are we to tend to tenderly care for a wise, 714 00:49:56.795 --> 00:49:59.475 physically and emotionally, we're also specifically 715 00:49:59.815 --> 00:50:02.475 and especially called to care for her spiritually. 716 00:50:02.905 --> 00:50:04.795 Look at the words that that are used 717 00:50:04.815 --> 00:50:06.475 to describe how Jesus loved. 718 00:50:06.535 --> 00:50:09.275 He cleansed her by his words so that she might be holy. 719 00:50:09.615 --> 00:50:12.035 He talks about sanctifying her husband's. 720 00:50:12.495 --> 00:50:14.595 We need a wake up call in this, in this regard. 721 00:50:16.175 --> 00:50:19.395 Uh, in the the last reengage, uh, class, I, uh, 722 00:50:19.495 --> 00:50:21.035 had asked every husband 723 00:50:21.135 --> 00:50:22.155 and wife separately 724 00:50:22.175 --> 00:50:24.275 to write out a prayer request for their marriage. 725 00:50:25.055 --> 00:50:28.365 And, um, they worked on this individually, 726 00:50:28.365 --> 00:50:30.045 they turned 'em into me and I committed to praying 727 00:50:30.045 --> 00:50:31.605 for those, for those prayer requests. 728 00:50:32.055 --> 00:50:34.725 About two thirds of the wives in that room 729 00:50:35.265 --> 00:50:37.685 prayed something like this, that my husband 730 00:50:38.295 --> 00:50:39.725 would lead me spiritually. 731 00:50:40.475 --> 00:50:44.805 It's heartbreaking. Husbands are, wives are yearning for us 732 00:50:44.805 --> 00:50:46.525 to lead them in this area. 733 00:50:48.115 --> 00:50:51.645 Note also, there is this sense of already, 734 00:50:52.185 --> 00:50:55.325 but not yet that's unfolding in this passage, especially 735 00:50:55.325 --> 00:50:59.925 to the husbands here, that Jesus already gave past tense. 736 00:50:59.985 --> 00:51:01.725 He already cleansed past tense so 737 00:51:01.725 --> 00:51:06.285 that he might one day future present his bride 738 00:51:06.285 --> 00:51:07.725 to himself in splendor. 739 00:51:09.555 --> 00:51:11.365 This is what literally moved me to tears. 740 00:51:14.115 --> 00:51:18.725 One day, Cindy is gonna stand before Jesus in eternity. 741 00:51:20.605 --> 00:51:22.145 And a couple years ago I thought that 742 00:51:22.145 --> 00:51:23.185 that day had come early. 743 00:51:25.745 --> 00:51:27.195 What the Bible is teaching us, 744 00:51:27.225 --> 00:51:30.235 what the Bible is teaching me is that I need to live 745 00:51:30.775 --> 00:51:33.635 my life, all of it as a husband in such a way 746 00:51:33.635 --> 00:51:36.235 that's preparing her for that moment when she stands 747 00:51:36.235 --> 00:51:40.915 before Jesus, oh, I how I failed her. 748 00:51:42.435 --> 00:51:47.065 Forgive me, Cindy, may I set aside my agenda, 749 00:51:47.445 --> 00:51:49.505 my selfishness and may, may the things 750 00:51:49.505 --> 00:51:50.585 that I talked to her about. 751 00:51:50.685 --> 00:51:55.335 The tenderness that I show her made the love of God's word 752 00:51:55.335 --> 00:51:58.055 that I share with her may the way that we, 753 00:51:58.115 --> 00:51:59.535 we spend time in prayer 754 00:51:59.715 --> 00:52:01.375 and in worship and in serving others. 755 00:52:01.435 --> 00:52:03.655 The times that we go for walks and we just pause 756 00:52:03.715 --> 00:52:07.455 and we look at the marvel of God's creation, may everything 757 00:52:07.455 --> 00:52:10.575 that I do prepare her for that moment where she stands 758 00:52:10.595 --> 00:52:12.255 before Jesus and gives an account. 759 00:52:13.845 --> 00:52:16.725 Husbands, we have a big role to fill. 760 00:52:17.865 --> 00:52:19.565 We are to play the role of the ultimate 761 00:52:19.565 --> 00:52:21.045 servant on behalf of our wife. 762 00:52:22.225 --> 00:52:26.565 So my question to husbands, does my self-sacrificing love 763 00:52:26.585 --> 00:52:29.685 for my wife tell the story of Jesus dying for the church? 764 00:52:32.545 --> 00:52:33.875 Well, Paul reminds us then 765 00:52:34.295 --> 00:52:36.155 of God's original design for marriage. 766 00:52:36.155 --> 00:52:37.675 He quotes Genesis 2 24. 767 00:52:37.675 --> 00:52:39.835 He says, therefore, man shall leave his father and mother 768 00:52:39.855 --> 00:52:41.115 and hold fast to his wife. 769 00:52:41.255 --> 00:52:43.115 And the two shall become one flesh. 770 00:52:43.785 --> 00:52:46.755 Some really important observations here, marriage 771 00:52:47.335 --> 00:52:50.315 by God's design includes one man and one woman. 772 00:52:50.425 --> 00:52:52.395 There's just no gray area in God's word. 773 00:52:52.395 --> 00:52:55.275 It's on page one and page two, marriage is meant 774 00:52:55.275 --> 00:52:58.275 to be lifelong and monogamous, one plus one. 775 00:52:59.375 --> 00:53:01.115 And note order matters. 776 00:53:01.905 --> 00:53:04.995 It's leave mom and dad, marry your wife 777 00:53:05.335 --> 00:53:07.075 and then become one flesh. 778 00:53:07.855 --> 00:53:10.955 In other words, we can't start the cleaving part 779 00:53:11.135 --> 00:53:12.755 and still until we've done the leaving 780 00:53:12.785 --> 00:53:13.835 part, you know what I'm saying? 781 00:53:15.095 --> 00:53:16.275 Let, let me make it real clear 782 00:53:16.475 --> 00:53:17.795 'cause you're looking at me like you're not tracking 783 00:53:17.865 --> 00:53:21.995 because sex is a gift from God 784 00:53:22.875 --> 00:53:24.595 designed exclusively for a husband 785 00:53:24.695 --> 00:53:26.325 and wife in a covenantal marriage 786 00:53:26.325 --> 00:53:28.865 relationship, God's way is best. 787 00:53:30.105 --> 00:53:32.065 I just want you to see the practicality of this. 788 00:53:33.105 --> 00:53:35.665 I would argue that the purpose of dating is evaluation. 789 00:53:35.665 --> 00:53:37.025 You're, you're evaluating everything. 790 00:53:37.045 --> 00:53:38.065 Am I ready to get married? 791 00:53:38.685 --> 00:53:41.585 Is that the person that I'm dating ready to get married? 792 00:53:41.765 --> 00:53:44.105 Are they the person that I want to join 793 00:53:44.285 --> 00:53:47.185 and vow my whole life together with those questions? 794 00:53:47.185 --> 00:53:51.465 They take time to answer. You need time to evaluate. 795 00:53:52.765 --> 00:53:54.545 But because sex is so powerful, 796 00:53:54.765 --> 00:53:56.985 it like bonds us physiologically. 797 00:53:56.985 --> 00:53:59.705 Like there are chemicals that release in our brains. 798 00:53:59.705 --> 00:54:02.345 The same chemicals that are released between a, 799 00:54:02.505 --> 00:54:05.505 a nursing mother and her infant child are the same chemicals 800 00:54:05.505 --> 00:54:09.505 that are released that bond, uh, uh, the person to 801 00:54:09.575 --> 00:54:10.785 that you're having sex with. 802 00:54:11.925 --> 00:54:13.695 This is a beautiful thing in marriage, 803 00:54:14.445 --> 00:54:15.935 like amazingly beautiful. 804 00:54:16.915 --> 00:54:20.975 And it's potentially really dangerous outside of marriage 805 00:54:21.405 --> 00:54:24.975 because you cannot objectively evaluate the 806 00:54:24.975 --> 00:54:26.175 person that you're sleeping with. 807 00:54:27.835 --> 00:54:30.335 If you want confidence that they're the one for you, 808 00:54:30.555 --> 00:54:31.895 try not sleeping with them. 809 00:54:32.075 --> 00:54:34.015 You might find you don't even like 'em. 810 00:54:35.365 --> 00:54:38.415 It's just so hard to stop the train Heading toward marriage 811 00:54:38.475 --> 00:54:40.895 is what I find that, that once you're living together 812 00:54:40.915 --> 00:54:42.775 and once you're sleeping together, that even when 813 00:54:42.775 --> 00:54:44.815 that evaluation part starts to go sideways 814 00:54:44.875 --> 00:54:46.575 and you're like, I don't know, A lot 815 00:54:46.575 --> 00:54:48.535 of couples just find it either too inconvenient 816 00:54:48.835 --> 00:54:51.655 or too expensive or too embarrassing to do anything else. 817 00:54:51.715 --> 00:54:53.615 So they figure we might as well get married. 818 00:54:54.195 --> 00:54:57.915 Now, watch it happen. So if you're dating today 819 00:54:59.095 --> 00:55:02.395 and you're sexually involved or you're living together 820 00:55:02.395 --> 00:55:04.755 before marriage out of reverence for Christ, 821 00:55:04.855 --> 00:55:07.075 it might be time for you to have a difficult conversation 822 00:55:07.075 --> 00:55:08.235 with your significant other. 823 00:55:09.095 --> 00:55:10.515 Let me know if I can help, or 824 00:55:10.515 --> 00:55:11.715 even if I could just pray for you. 825 00:55:12.495 --> 00:55:14.515 And then Paul sums up everything in verse 33. 826 00:55:14.515 --> 00:55:16.715 He says, however, let each one of you love his wife 827 00:55:16.715 --> 00:55:18.715 as himself and let the wife see 828 00:55:18.715 --> 00:55:20.035 that she respects her husband. 829 00:55:20.855 --> 00:55:23.675 You guys, this is your to-do list if you want 830 00:55:23.675 --> 00:55:24.875 to have a thriving marriage, 831 00:55:24.895 --> 00:55:26.755 Paul's summing it all up for you right here. 832 00:55:27.555 --> 00:55:31.435 Husbands love your wife with self-sacrificing love. 833 00:55:31.935 --> 00:55:33.835 Be the ultimate servant in your marriage. 834 00:55:35.055 --> 00:55:36.355 Notice in this part, 835 00:55:36.375 --> 00:55:38.235 he actually addresses the husbands first. 836 00:55:38.255 --> 00:55:39.395 And I think that's intentional. 837 00:55:39.615 --> 00:55:41.675 So husbands, you go first in leading the way 838 00:55:42.735 --> 00:55:46.835 and brides wives respect your husband's servant leadership 839 00:55:46.835 --> 00:55:48.115 with joyful submission. 840 00:55:49.055 --> 00:55:51.845 These are different instructions, different commands, 841 00:55:52.145 --> 00:55:55.925 but they both describe the same heart disposition 842 00:55:56.105 --> 00:55:59.445 to reject your own selfishness in marriage 843 00:55:59.585 --> 00:56:02.405 and to follow Jesus's example that he gave for us. 844 00:56:03.465 --> 00:56:05.965 But you know, what's painfully missing in all of this? 845 00:56:08.365 --> 00:56:10.175 What if my spouse never loves me back? 846 00:56:10.845 --> 00:56:14.865 What if my spouse never respects me in return? 847 00:56:15.335 --> 00:56:17.265 Well, you can look again. 848 00:56:17.265 --> 00:56:20.825 Nowhere in here does Paul say, as long as he loves you back 849 00:56:20.885 --> 00:56:24.045 or only if she submits to you, that that's just not there. 850 00:56:24.665 --> 00:56:25.725 And I know this is hard 851 00:56:25.725 --> 00:56:27.445 because I have these conversations all the time. 852 00:56:27.525 --> 00:56:29.605 I know there are countless people who say like, 853 00:56:29.805 --> 00:56:32.005 I am holding this thing together year after year 854 00:56:32.005 --> 00:56:33.485 and I'm worn out, I'm exhausted. 855 00:56:34.385 --> 00:56:36.285 If that describes your experience in marriage, 856 00:56:36.745 --> 00:56:39.525 it may be perhaps the hardest thing you ever face in this 857 00:56:39.525 --> 00:56:43.475 world, in this life culture will tell you, 858 00:56:43.505 --> 00:56:44.955 give up, kick 'em to the curb. 859 00:56:45.015 --> 00:56:47.195 You gotta fight for your so-called independence 860 00:56:47.195 --> 00:56:50.475 and freedom if your marriage is in a rough spot, 861 00:56:50.505 --> 00:56:53.235 what I'm not saying to you is to grit your teeth and, 862 00:56:53.255 --> 00:56:54.795 and just deal with it in misery. 863 00:56:54.895 --> 00:56:58.595 I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is get help. 864 00:57:00.455 --> 00:57:01.635 Invest in your marriage. 865 00:57:01.785 --> 00:57:04.395 Take a next step, make a change 866 00:57:04.455 --> 00:57:06.915 so you can get unstuck from the rut that you're in. 867 00:57:07.185 --> 00:57:10.635 Look, you cannot fix everything about your marriage today, 868 00:57:11.095 --> 00:57:14.875 but you can change the direction you're heading right now. 869 00:57:16.275 --> 00:57:18.735 In other words, the story that your marriage is telling 870 00:57:19.675 --> 00:57:24.135 can change and it can thrive when you follow these, uh, 871 00:57:24.135 --> 00:57:25.295 these words God gave us. 872 00:57:25.295 --> 00:57:27.255 So how do you do this? I have three quick action steps 873 00:57:27.365 --> 00:57:28.495 that I'll close with today. 874 00:57:28.495 --> 00:57:31.535 Number one, run to the father in dependent prayer. 875 00:57:31.785 --> 00:57:33.455 Every day before I leave work, Cindy 876 00:57:33.455 --> 00:57:35.095 and I hold hands and we pray together. 877 00:57:35.555 --> 00:57:36.695 We ask him for his help. 878 00:57:37.395 --> 00:57:39.335 And in doing this, holding hands 879 00:57:39.355 --> 00:57:40.775 and praying it, it, it gives us 880 00:57:40.775 --> 00:57:42.295 what we call course corrections. 881 00:57:43.125 --> 00:57:44.975 That if I had wronged her the day 882 00:57:44.975 --> 00:57:46.775 before, I'm not gonna just take her by the hands 883 00:57:46.795 --> 00:57:48.575 and pray with her like that. 884 00:57:48.595 --> 00:57:50.895 That's weird. I'm not gonna ignore it. I'm not. 885 00:57:50.995 --> 00:57:52.375 I'm gonna have to deal with that. I'm gonna have 886 00:57:52.375 --> 00:57:53.615 to ask her for forgiveness. 887 00:57:54.555 --> 00:57:56.375 And so as we pray together, 888 00:57:57.485 --> 00:57:59.695 what happens is every single day 889 00:58:00.115 --> 00:58:03.935 before I leave work, I have a fresh, clean slate 890 00:58:04.085 --> 00:58:08.215 with my wife and I have a fresh, clean slate with God. 891 00:58:09.085 --> 00:58:10.175 Guys, this is huge. 892 00:58:11.305 --> 00:58:13.975 Every day I leave for work and I know Cindy 893 00:58:13.995 --> 00:58:16.335 and I are okay Every day I leave for work. 894 00:58:16.355 --> 00:58:17.375 And our kids see this. 895 00:58:17.405 --> 00:58:19.655 They think, ah, mom and dad love each other. 896 00:58:19.955 --> 00:58:21.295 And that is huge. 897 00:58:23.635 --> 00:58:27.075 Husbands, I dare you take your wife 898 00:58:27.095 --> 00:58:29.355 by the hands today and pray for her. 899 00:58:29.565 --> 00:58:31.235 Trust me, she doesn't care if it's not fancy. 900 00:58:31.535 --> 00:58:34.155 In fact, neither does God. There's nothing more important 901 00:58:34.155 --> 00:58:36.635 than you can do then to turn to God 902 00:58:36.635 --> 00:58:38.275 and ask him for his help in your marriage. 903 00:58:39.775 --> 00:58:42.475 Two, find biblical community. 904 00:58:43.225 --> 00:58:45.315 There's lots of ways around hope you can find this. 905 00:58:45.335 --> 00:58:47.955 And, and look, sooner or later you need to take, re-engage. 906 00:58:47.955 --> 00:58:49.955 And, and I know it's full, it's wait listed 907 00:58:49.975 --> 00:58:52.315 and it's mean for for me to even bring it up right now. 908 00:58:52.495 --> 00:58:54.835 But re-engage goes beyond the theology 909 00:58:54.975 --> 00:58:57.715 to provide you like practical tools on communication 910 00:58:57.975 --> 00:59:00.075 and conflict and sexual intimacy. 911 00:59:00.075 --> 00:59:02.115 We talk about it all. You need to take that sooner 912 00:59:02.115 --> 00:59:04.795 or later if you're engaged. 913 00:59:04.935 --> 00:59:06.635 You need to sign up for our premar class. 914 00:59:06.705 --> 00:59:07.915 It's called Premar Prep. 915 00:59:07.915 --> 00:59:09.355 We've got a team of mentors that are ready 916 00:59:09.355 --> 00:59:12.035 to walk alongside you and help or call me. 917 00:59:12.175 --> 00:59:13.195 I'd love to get you started 918 00:59:14.055 --> 00:59:16.115 or join a men's group or a women's group. 919 00:59:16.115 --> 00:59:17.515 Like Jeff's story today, one 920 00:59:17.515 --> 00:59:19.155 of the best things you could do for your marriage. 921 00:59:19.675 --> 00:59:22.605 I can't imagine what my life would be like without the 922 00:59:22.805 --> 00:59:24.525 encouragement, without the accountability 923 00:59:24.745 --> 00:59:27.045 and the time that we spend together in God's word 924 00:59:27.045 --> 00:59:29.085 with the brothers that I've allowed into my life. 925 00:59:29.465 --> 00:59:31.725 My marriage is stronger because of it. 926 00:59:32.545 --> 00:59:35.365 And finally, remember his grace. 927 00:59:36.615 --> 00:59:37.745 Some of you're sitting here 928 00:59:37.745 --> 00:59:41.105 and by God's grace, your marriage is rock solid. 929 00:59:41.235 --> 00:59:44.425 We'll, praise God, you're experiencing the joy 930 00:59:44.525 --> 00:59:48.025 and the harmony and the pleasure that God designed 931 00:59:48.205 --> 00:59:49.545 for you to experience. 932 00:59:49.565 --> 00:59:50.905 Praise him for his grace. 933 00:59:51.765 --> 00:59:53.385 And some of you here today, you're single 934 00:59:53.805 --> 00:59:55.345 and you would do anything not to be. 935 00:59:56.705 --> 00:59:59.665 Remember His grace. Continue to remember that as you wait, 936 00:59:59.925 --> 01:00:01.265 as you ask him for patience. 937 01:00:03.655 --> 01:00:05.715 But some of you sit here today and you're heartbroken. 938 01:00:06.215 --> 01:00:07.435 And this has been a hard message. 939 01:00:08.515 --> 01:00:09.755 'cause the, the story your marriage 940 01:00:10.575 --> 01:00:11.955 is telling isn't a good one 941 01:00:12.655 --> 01:00:16.155 or perhaps the marriage story has already ended in divorce. 942 01:00:17.825 --> 01:00:22.065 Remember, God's story with us is not over. 943 01:00:22.685 --> 01:00:26.885 Remain faithful to him. Our God is a God of new beginnings. 944 01:00:27.875 --> 01:00:32.585 He's a God of reconciliation. He's a God of resurrection. 945 01:00:34.605 --> 01:00:37.055 Last week, uh, Jason, uh, had us closed 946 01:00:37.075 --> 01:00:38.175 by standing up and holding hands. 947 01:00:38.235 --> 01:00:40.335 I'm not gonna do that. But what I am gonna do, 948 01:00:40.675 --> 01:00:43.215 if you're married and you're here, husbands, if you're here 949 01:00:43.215 --> 01:00:45.815 with your wife, would you just kind of quietly take her 950 01:00:45.815 --> 01:00:47.575 by the hand as I close us in prayer? 951 01:00:48.465 --> 01:00:53.375 Let's pray together. Father God, we ask today 952 01:00:53.395 --> 01:00:57.445 for your help because we believe you are able. 953 01:01:00.025 --> 01:01:02.005 God forgive us for neglecting your truth. 954 01:01:04.545 --> 01:01:06.605 God, when we fail, would you remind us 955 01:01:06.625 --> 01:01:10.435 of your grace by your spirit? 956 01:01:11.085 --> 01:01:13.635 Would you strengthen us so that we can take 957 01:01:13.635 --> 01:01:16.675 that next step today toward the thriving marriage 958 01:01:16.675 --> 01:01:17.875 that you desire for us? 959 01:01:18.535 --> 01:01:20.835 We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. 960 01:01:29.505 --> 01:01:31.645 The story of the gospel is a beautiful story. 961 01:01:32.785 --> 01:01:36.645 It was God's idea. A marriage was God's idea. 962 01:01:37.465 --> 01:01:38.805 And it's a beautiful story. 963 01:01:39.785 --> 01:01:42.845 And our marriages and our lives, married 964 01:01:42.865 --> 01:01:45.605 or not fall woefully short of the gospel 965 01:01:46.865 --> 01:01:49.365 or depicting the gospel, playing out the gospel. 966 01:01:50.185 --> 01:01:54.445 We need Christ's help daily and we need each other's help. 967 01:01:54.865 --> 01:01:59.725 So if there's anything that we can do as your church family 968 01:02:00.505 --> 01:02:01.805 to help you take that step. 969 01:02:01.905 --> 01:02:03.005 If you are a married couple 970 01:02:03.745 --> 01:02:05.925 or if there's something that the Lord spoke to you, 971 01:02:06.415 --> 01:02:08.885 maybe it has nothing to do with a marriage relationship 972 01:02:09.165 --> 01:02:10.165 'cause that's not where you're at. 973 01:02:11.425 --> 01:02:13.685 But I believe that the Holy Spirit may have spoke a 974 01:02:13.685 --> 01:02:16.125 different truth, his truth to you. 975 01:02:16.395 --> 01:02:18.125 Like here's a change you need to make. 976 01:02:18.625 --> 01:02:21.485 We would love to help you take a step in your relationship 977 01:02:21.485 --> 01:02:22.765 with Jesus, whatever that is. 978 01:02:23.145 --> 01:02:25.085 If you're new, please stop by our next steps 979 01:02:25.145 --> 01:02:28.325 or tell us you're new online, we'd love to connect with you. 980 01:02:28.905 --> 01:02:31.725 Or if you're here and you want to talk to somebody about 981 01:02:31.795 --> 01:02:33.605 what that next step in your marriage, 982 01:02:33.655 --> 01:02:35.365 maybe go to next steps. 983 01:02:35.865 --> 01:02:38.365 If you want to take a step in your discipleship, 984 01:02:38.365 --> 01:02:40.725 you're following Jesus, go to next steps. 985 01:02:41.035 --> 01:02:42.205 Stop and talk to one of us. 986 01:02:43.225 --> 01:02:45.925 We want nothing more than for Jesus to be alive 987 01:02:45.945 --> 01:02:48.245 and well in our marriages and our relationships 988 01:02:48.345 --> 01:02:49.645 and in our church 989 01:02:49.785 --> 01:02:51.965 and to follow him with our hearts and lives. 990 01:02:51.965 --> 01:02:53.085 And let us know if there's anything 991 01:02:53.085 --> 01:02:54.205 we can do to help you do that. 992 01:02:55.365 --> 01:02:57.405 I wanna thank you again for being here together 993 01:02:57.405 --> 01:02:58.685 with us at this gathering, 994 01:02:58.785 --> 01:03:01.245 and I encourage you to come back next week 995 01:03:01.345 --> 01:03:03.685 as we continue on learning what it looks like 996 01:03:04.025 --> 01:03:06.245 to be a biblical family of families. 997 01:03:06.265 --> 01:03:07.525 God bless you. We'll see you next week. 998 01:03:17.385 --> 01:03:20.605 If it doesn't make sense right now, we.