Carol Cox: How can you become a better speaker?
Here are top takeaways from some of the
women who attended our recent in-person
speaking workshop, on this episode of the
Speaking Your Brand podcast.
More and more women are making an impact by
starting businesses, running for office, and
speaking up for what matters.
With my background as a TV political
analyst, entrepreneur, and speaker, I
interview and coach purpose driven women to
shape their brands, grow their companies,
and become recognized as influencers in
their field. This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
communicate your message to your audience.
Hi there and welcome to backstage with
Speaking Your Brand.
I'm your host, Carol Cox.
Today we are live on LinkedIn, in YouTube
with two women who recently attended our one
day speaking workshop in Orlando, Florida.
I wanted to have them on to share what they
learned, how much they progressed just from
the morning to the afternoon sessions, and
the main takeaways for being a better
speaker and storyteller on stage, so that
you too can benefit from that if you're
listening to this on the podcast.
So nice to have you.
You can watch the video as well.
The link is in the show notes, so you can
watch us on video, or you can just continue
to listen to us.
Today we have with us Wendy McManus and Tara
Lassiter. You may recognize Wendy's name.
She was also on the podcast not too long ago
for another LinkedIn live that we did when
she graduated from the Thought Leader
Academy, where she shared a ten minute
version of the signature talk that she
worked on with us.
Well, she got to take those storytelling
skills to our stage with our workshop.
Wendy. Tara, so nice to have you here.
Tara Lassiter: So nice to be here.
Thank you.
Wendy McManus: Thanks for having us, Carol.
Carol Cox: Oh, you are so welcome, Wendy, thank you so
much for taking the time to be here.
I so often say that the best way to get
better at speaking is to actually put the
reps in. So the more speaking you do, the
better that you'll get if you only do
something once in a while, whether it's
speaking or going on TV or, I don't know,
riding a horse, you're not.
It's going to you're going to feel nervous
and it's not going to feel good if you only
do it once a year or so.
But if you're speaking every week or every
month, you really get into the habit because
you're putting those reps in.
But even better than just speaking is
getting coaching and feedback in the moment.
So you know what is working, what's not, and
what are things that you can tweak and
adjust to make it even better?
So that's what I want to dive in with you
today. Tara, I'll start with you first.
Tell us a little bit about what it is that
you do in your business and why you decided
to attend our workshop.
Tara Lassiter: Okay, so my background, I'm a brand
strategist and ghostwriter story behind it.
I spent a decade on air at QVC as a model,
and throughout that experience, I was
fortunate enough to live through the time
when we went from all of the models being a
size two to having plus size models and
petite models and different ages.
And really, there was an explosion of
diversity that helped everyone see and feel
representation on screen.
Well, I want to do the same thing for the
business world. I want everyone to have
their own version of a business Barbie that
they can look up to.
That is their version of hey, I can do that.
And also that has a story that they can
really relate to so that we can break those
glass ceilings together.
Carol Cox: And why did you decide to attend our speaking
workshop?
Tara Lassiter: So word of mouth.
I had a previous client I was working with.
She spoke really highly of you.
I looked you up. I'm like, she's here.
And then I was fortunate enough to meet you
at a networking event that was August,
September like last month.
So you really made me feel safe.
And that's something that's like one of my
values. It's as a woman, you know, a woman
in business, we're not always safe.
We don't always feel safe.
So I knew that I could trust you when I
wanted to step back into the spotlight.
I had been writing behind the scenes.
I was very comfortable hiding, and I knew I
had to step back into my media, my host, my
acting background. I needed to, you know,
use those skills again.
And you provided a safe space for me to do
that so that I could remember.
Oh, yeah, you do this like you love this.
This is where you want to be.
But it was a safe environment.
And also, like you said, that instant
feedback because I wanted to make sure that
if there was anything that I needed to fix,
if there was something I forgot, that
someone could point it out.
Because you don't know what you don't know,
but you gave that to me.
Carol Cox: Oh, I love hearing that.
Tara. I'm so glad you feel that.
You felt like this was a safe and supportive
environment. I can imagine it would feel a
little intimidating and vulnerable to stand
up in front of a group of women that you
don't know and in front of coaches, and have
yourself, and you know that we are so kind
with our feedback and we'll get into that.
But I'm so glad that you felt that right
from the beginning, even before you showed
up with us in person.
Wendy, tell us a little bit about what you
do with your work and why you decided to
attend our in-person workshop.
Wendy McManus: Yeah. Thanks, Carol.
I'm Wendy McManus.
I'm a leadership coach.
I work one on one with senior leaders.
I facilitate with teams and help build
culture and communication.
But my real passion is around working with
newer people, leaders, folks that have made
that shift from individual contributors into
being people managers.
Um, and as part of that, I'm getting out and
doing more speaking.
I love speaking, I love being on stage.
And the reason that I wanted to attend the
one day workshop is because, first of all, I
participated in Thought Leader Academy,
which was an eight week journey.
That was amazing.
I've done some of your online workshops on
zoom. Everything I've done with you in Diane
has been amazing, and I've always come out
feeling like I took a big growth spurt.
So just, you know, Carol and Diane are up to
something like, yeah, let me go check it out
for sure. But this one in particular was the
opportunity to get on stage in person.
Most of my work right now is still on zoom,
and it's nice and safe and comfortable, and
I needed to get out of that safe zone and
get out there in person, in front of people
with no notes in hand, and just be in the
moment and speak.
So it was a great opportunity for that.
Carol Cox: It is I again, I love zoom, it brings women
to us from all over the country and all over
the world, but there's really nothing like
being in person.
I really feel it feels like it accelerates
learning in a way that being on zoom can't
do that in in that same fashion, in that
same timeline.
All right, Tara, let's go back to you
thinking about back to that time that you
spent with us that day.
Was there anything in particular that
surprised you about any of the activities
that we did or your.
I'm going to call it a performance on stage.
Well, you did do a little bit of performance
and we'll come back to that in just a
moment. But anything in particular that
surprised you?
Tara Lassiter: I was fidgety and I went from not being able
to fidget like I had to be Vanna White for a
decade. And so to notice that I was playing
with my hair and rocking back and forth, I
was like, who? Like, who are you?
Like, where did you learn these things?
So it was great that I had, like I said,
that safe environment because I had no idea
how I was going to show up on stage and on
camera again. And so it gave me the
opportunity to get back into my body and to
like, stand up a little taller and to
remember all of those skills that I hadn't
used since I've been on camera, because the
last time I was on air was 20, 20.
So four years was enough time for me to
learn some bad habits.
So I was really surprised because that was
the part I thought I would be great at.
I thought I was like, I know how to be a
mannequin. I thought it was going to be the
speaking, but the stories came out well.
It was the standing in.
It was the posture that I needed to practice
again.
Carol Cox: And we all have things that we do that we
don't realize that we do, that are
subconscious. Some of them are verbal tics.
So words that we say, some of them are
physical tics, like playing with our hair or
rocking side to side, or the way that we
maybe hold our hands.
And the only way to discover those is to
have someone watch you who's looking for
them, or to record yourself on video and be
willing to watch it, which I know is not
always easy. Wendy, what about you?
What surprised you about the day that we
spent together?
Wendy McManus: What was most surprising wasn't when I was on
stage. It happened when we were doing the
exercises as a group.
You all made us do improv.
Improv exercises.
So talk about getting out of my comfort
zone. That is way out of my comfort zone.
But it was fun.
And you all, you and Diane made it okay for
us to be silly and not feel like we needed
to do it the right way.
You just you made it really fun.
And I feel like that got us all loosened up.
We did some of that before anybody got up on
stage or any of the participants got up on
stage, and I felt really loose and
comfortable with the other women in the
room, in particular, having all sort of made
fools of ourselves, doing the improv
exercises, crawling around on the floor and
just being silly and goofy and, and, uh, you
know, feeling very unprofessional, like in,
in our professional clothing, but just
having fun. That was great.
Carol Cox: I'm glad you brought that up, Wendy, because
as listeners know, Diane and I have a love
hate relationship with improv.
We love to hate it, but we also know how
incredibly helpful it has been to us.
And so we do it with you and we show you we
like we definitely don't do it perfect at
all, but we're willing just to be silly and
get down on the floor and to act things out,
because we also know that it's us opening
ourselves up to that level of vulnerability
hopefully opens up all of you, and then the
entire room and the space that we're
creating. Tara, I mentioned that a little
bit of the performance aspect you had
because you actually led us in a cheer,
because you did a cheer on stage for one
part of your story. I was like, oh, wait,
hold on a minute. We gotta all do this cheer
again to loosen ourselves up.
So what did how did you feel about some of
the improv exercises that we did?
Tara Lassiter: So I actually love improv, not because I'm
good at it or anything, but I like that it
it doesn't allow me to be in my head that
you have to go with whatever your first
instinct is. You can't judge it.
You can't overthink it. Like, I think that's
a great exercise for everybody because we're
so like, you want to be right and you want
to be perfect and you want to look good and
you want to sound good. But the best stuff
comes from when, like the best, our best
content, our best productions are off the
cuff because we don't know what's inside of
us until we we let it free.
And sometimes we overthink the magic and it
loses that special, special touch.
So I was happy I got to do that cheer.
I should not have kicked my leg that high
because I did not stretch beforehand, so I
paid for that the next day.
It reminded me how old I am, but I was
really happy that again I got inside my
body, I had fun, I didn't care how I looked,
I didn't, I wasn't able to overthink it.
I was able to be in the moment and really
like connect with all of the other women
there. Like, I, we, we were we had a shared
experience that brought us all together.
And you were able to do that in such a like
that was within the first hour.
So I was really, really impressed with how
you were able just to transform that
environment and make it productive.
Carol Cox: Yeah. Well, thank you all for going with it
too, and for being willing to to do all the
things that we asked you to do, whether it's
dance parties or cheers or improv exercises.
Wendy, let's talk about what I call active
storytelling in presentations, in talks, you
know that we emphasize stories because
stories are what connect us to the audience
and what they usually are going to remember.
The most of any talk is the story.
And so there's a way to tell a story where
you just kind of go through, okay, here's
what happened. But then there's active
storytelling where you actually are using
your body and you're using the stage.
So when can you tell us a little bit about
what that process was like for you and what
you learned?
Wendy McManus: I think the biggest takeaway so so two things
are standing out for me, Carol.
One is about moving around on the stage that
the movement needs to be intentional.
It's not just movement for movement's sake,
because as we saw, you know, myself and some
other, uh, participants in the workshop, we
would be sort of nervously rocking or kind
of moving, you know, almost looking like we
were wandering around the stage.
And so that was one thing that I really took
away is that being purposeful when I think
about though, the, the, the, the embodiment
of the speaking, it's also for me about
using my voice more intentionally And one of
the the big pieces of feedback that you all
gave me after the first time that I told my
story was about like adding some variety and
and I was a little bit, but I needed to
build to more of a crescendo.
I needed to have more variety in the energy
and the volume and the pacing add more
deliberate pauses.
And what was interesting was when I started
incorporating that, then I started moving
more intentionally as well.
Like, I started moving intentionally to this
side and then pausing physically, pausing
and pausing my delivery before I started
moving again and started speaking again.
So it was interesting to see how the two
kind of wove together.
Carol Cox: Yes, well, our minds and bodies are
connected, and so it's almost like what Tara
was saying about improv is that we like to
improv gets us to not think so much or
overthink. And I feel like as speakers,
oftentimes we want to overthink what we're
going to do, but if we sometimes just let
our bodies do what it would naturally do in
the moment when we're telling a story like
we know if we're like, it's a heavier part
of the story. If we were telling that to a
friend, we probably would take a beat, take
a breath, maybe look at the friend, check in
on them, and then continue.
But we forget when we're on stage speaking
to an audience that the same, the same
elements apply. That alignment still needs
to be there. Tara, what about you?
Tell us a little bit about your storytelling
and what you learned from from doing that
with us on the stage.
Tara Lassiter: So I am like a lifelong storyteller.
I love writing, I love words, I love telling
stories. Um, the thing that stood out to me,
to me most about telling my story, was that
the stories that I should tell are the
stories that I'm most reluctant to tell.
And so that's why I made it a point to tell
stories. Well, the first story was one that
I wasn't necessarily proud of, but to show
that, hey, we all make mistakes and not
everybody had a perfect upbringing.
Not everyone has a perfect upbringing, uh,
background. So sometimes we do things that
we're not proud of, but how do we turn it
around? That says something about our
character, and it says something about our
potential. And I think that's something that
our audience is really wanting because
they've seen us be polished, they've seen us
be perfect. And if we can tell those hard
stories, whether they're business stories or
personal stories, but if we can share in a
way that's vulnerable but still relatable,
right? Like we're not sharing for the sake
of sharing, but we're sharing to show how
we've overcome it creates space for them to
overcome as well.
Carol Cox: And Tara, I remember the opening of the
story, the five minute story that you were
practicing, which was can you share the
opening with us? It was really a lot of fun.
Tara Lassiter: So in middle school, I was a cheerleader.
I think the prompt you gave us was tell us
when you used your voice as a child.
Right. That was what it was.
Carol Cox: Well, I'm thinking of the one with the guy
with the Ferrari.
Tara Lassiter: Oh.
That story. See, we told lots of stories that
day. Okay, so I asked, this is, you know, I
like to ask because when I think of a show
off, I think of a guy.
He's driving a Ferrari.
He, like, revs his engine.
Vroom vroom vroom. And I picture him, like,
into valet.
Right? He just cuts everybody off.
He gets out the car, he leaves the door
open. He doesn't talk to the valet.
He throws the keys at him and his shoulders
are back. And he's looking around and like
he just owns the place, right?
That's a show off. Everybody look at me.
Not giving any energy back to anyone else.
And I use that because I want to contrast
when I was called a show off and I wasn't
anything like that, but that's a like I know
a lot of people have been said, you're doing
too much. You're showing off.
You are.
You are trying to steal all of the shine in
this situation. And that's not that wasn't
my intention. And typically when that's set
to other people, that wasn't their intention
either. They just were doing great.
And instead of being commended, a lot of
times we're reprimanded.
So I knew that was like a universal
experience that a lot of us could relate to.
So I wanted to really contrast, hey, when
you're when someone tells you that you're
showing off, are you really showing off
because that's showing off or are you just
standing in your greatness?
Carol Cox: Oh, I love that, Tara.
And for those of you who are listening to
the podcast, you should come watch the video
at this part because you'll see Tara as she
was doing the Ferrari and the guy getting
out of the car and throwing the keys.
She acts, she pantomimes that.
She acts it out in her facial expressions
and the way she moves her shoulders.
It really brings so much life to the story,
and that's what makes it memorable.
It's the combination of the words and the
delivery at the same time.
So I want to ask you now, Wendy, so of the
think about all the women who were there and
listening to their story.
So you all practice your main story one time
in the morning, got the feedback, and then
you practice it again in the afternoon.
And I bet both of you can remember every
single woman's story. At least you could
kind of summarize to yourself, okay, Sandy,
talk about this. Melanie talked about this
and go down the list.
Think about going to a conference and
thinking about all the speakers that you see
at a conference. And how much could you
remember of what they presented versus what
you heard when you hear stories?
Wendy McManus: Yeah. And let me I wanted to throw this in.
So, you know, when we tell a story, we
usually have a particular, um, lesson or a
message that we're trying to convey through
the story. And the stories are so amazing.
They help the lesson or the lesson or the
message stick, as you were saying, Carol,
they make it so much more memorable.
I had an experience yesterday.
I was speaking with a vendor who was in the
room with us and during the workshop, and we
were talking a little bit, she was, you
know, giving me some praise.
It was lovely. Oh, I loved the way you did
this. I loved the way you did that.
And she said, and you know, when you told
that story about.
And then she talked about what message she
got, it wasn't the message I intended to
deliver. It was the message she needed to
internalize based on what was going on for
her or based on her experience.
It wasn't the wrong message.
It was still an accurate message, but it was
a different message.
And to me, it just brought home that power
of story that we create space for.
The listener almost becomes a character in
the story as they're listening.
And I just wanted to share that because it
really, in that moment, kind of expanded my
understanding of the power of story.
Carol Cox: That's a beautiful example, Wendy, I'm so
glad you shared that, because it goes to
show that a presentation I call this the
Expert Trap, where we just give the audience
a bunch of information, a bunch of bullet
points, do these five things and you're
going to be successful.
There's no room for them in that versus the
story like you just described.
They become the main character even in your
story, even though that particular thing
didn't happen to them in the way that it
happened to you.
And then I think about reading novels, and
I've read since I was a young child, and
I'll go back and read books again that I
read before.
And I'm not the only one I know, because I
hear this from other readers, that the first
time they read it, they got a certain thing
from that novel, but then they read it again
at a different stage in their life, and they
get a totally different thing from that
novel, because that is the power of
storytelling. We get what we need in that
moment.
Wendy McManus: Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Carol Cox: Tara, so let's go back to you.
So thinking also to the speaking that
you're, you're set to do you're this was, I
think kind of like your your launch back
into the speaking world.
It sounds like. So what do you have on the
horizon. What are you most excited to be
doing next?
Tara Lassiter: So I'm starting with a podcast tour, and I'm
really, really excited about who I'm in
talks with now because so podcasts to me are
like stages that are I'll use that word safe
again. They're like safe stages because it's
a it's a 2 to 1, even though we have a large
audience that can hear in that moment, it's
just you and who you're speaking with.
And that's similar to what my experience was
on QVC, because there might have been
millions of people watching, but it was just
us and the host and, you know, the
production staff. So it was it was a closed
space that made it easier for us to
experience, experiment and have fun.
So I'm starting with podcasts, and I'm just
excited to share those stories and also
reach audiences of women that I wouldn't be
able to on my own.
So because there's only 365 days in a year.
So if I try to one by one touch all of these
women, I would run out of time before my
mission was complete.
So I love the way that podcasts are able to.
It's like exponential messaging.
And it makes me think too, because like you
said, our stories like we own the stories,
but we don't own the takeaways.
So when we multiply our stories and multiply
the stages that we speak on or the podcasts
that we speak on, we're multiplying those
takeaways. So we have no idea how.
We're just affecting all these different
people. And I love when I receive messages
and they're like, I listen to you on this
podcast and this helped me with XYZ.
I'm just like, this is what I do this for
because I want that connection, but I don't
know who it will land with.
We don't know how it'll land with the
stories, mind, but the takeaway is for for
the listener. So I'm excited to receive
feedback and to tell those stories and to
spread the word.
Carol Cox: Oh, I love that, Tara. And for those of you
listening, if you host a podcast and you
think Tara would make a fantastic guest
based on your audience and the type of
content that you typically have on your
podcast, reach out to Tara for sure.
And I'm sure that she would love that
connection. Wendy, what about you?
What is next for you? I know I planted a
seed for you on Friday about a potential
other talk that you have besides the
signature talk that you work with us on and
the Thought Leader Academy.
Wendy McManus: You did that one still in the ground.
Um, so.
So the thought leader Academy.
I worked on a signature talk.
It's very much about the journey that newer
people, managers go through when they step
into this role, because, you know, you're
really good at the job and you get noticed
and you get that tap on the shoulder.
But too often you get into the role.
And now part of your responsibility is to be
a manager of other people, a leader of other
people. And very few companies are doing a
good job of preparing people, and it's an
entirely different skill set.
So the signature talk that I developed in
Thought Leader Academy was focused on that.
So my next work is to, you know, be looking
for opportunities to speak there.
I do have in my thriving Leader Circle
program, which is a coaching and leadership
training program for those newer people
managers. I'm starting to bring in more
storytelling in the pre-recorded modules and
in the integration sessions, the live calls
that I have starting to give myself
permission to bring in more of my stories
and recognize how powerful that is.
The seed that that Carol just referenced is
that, you know, these things that I'm
talking about are all, you know, very much
in that professional space, the business
space. We were encouraged in the workshop
last Friday to tell a personal story.
And so I stepped out of my comfort zone and
told a very personal story, and was really
surprised by how strongly people reacted to
it. Before I even came off stage the first
time, both Carol and Diane were saying,
that's a keynote.
That's the foundation for a keynote.
So I'm just I'm letting it marinate for
right now. Carol, I might be back for
another VIP day to figure out how to
structure this keynote, but I need to I need
to figure out if it's too much of a of a
distraction from the main focus of my
business, or if it's something that I'm
really feeling called to do, and it might be
something that I'm called to do, just not
right now. But it's the seed is planted and
we're going to see if it sprouts into
something that's perfect.
Carol Cox: I love that, and that is really also the
power of literally saying things out loud to
an audience. I have had light bulb moments
in the middle of speaking to an audience
where something all of a sudden gelled for
me as the words were coming out of my mouth
that was unplanned and I had never did not
anticipate that. So it does happen and I'm
glad that it happened for you.
Wendy, make sure to connect with both Tara
and Wendy on LinkedIn.
The links to their profiles are in the show
notes, and for those of you listening and
watching, if you would like to join us, we
have our next One Day speaking workshop
happening in downtown Orlando, Florida at
the Citrus Club on February 27th, 2025
February 27th, 2025.
Coming up in just a few months, super early
bird pricing is on now for a limited time.
We would love to have you there so that you
can practice your storytelling and your
speaking and have a lot of fun.
As I reminded the women there, we if we're
not having fun, if we're not playing, if we
don't have these moments of being silly,
like we're so serious all the time and for
good reason, we have to run our businesses
and do our and do our work and do well at
it. But it's also fun just to come together
and play, but really get get.
It's like productive play.
It's for it's for a greater purpose for both
personal and professional growth.
So you can get all the details about our
workshop and sign up as speaking your
Brand.com slash workshop.
Again, that's speaking your
brand.com/workshop. Tara.
Wendy, thank you so much for taking the time
to chat with us today.
Tara Lassiter: Thank you, thank you.
This was great. And anybody who's listening,
please do that workshop.
It's if a zoom gets you ten x, a workshop
will get you 100 x. Like you will not regret
that in-person experience and you're in the
best hands. You will leave a better speaker
than you arrived in the morning.
Carol Cox: Well thank you.
Wendy McManus: I have I have nothing more to add because
Tara just literally took the words out of my
mouth. I'm a very big proponent of speaking
your brand and the work that they do.
If this is something you're interested in,
just go ahead and do it.
You will be surprised at what you get out of
it, that it's probably far exceeds even what
you intended when you signed up.
And thanks very much, Carol, for having me
on.
Carol Cox: Well, thank you again so much.
Until next time, thanks for listening.