Once the world was green and livin, then was the great nuke.
Death lived everywhere.
All were born sick and unclean, a livin curse from the Americans and commies.
Then one day, a baby was born, clean and clear, and the livin curse was over.
The child grew strong and beautiful, and she was called...
Woman taught her children to follow the tiara and obey the regs, and the earth lived again, but some disobeyed the regs, and from them came the children of darkness and disease.
Blow guts to be hunted and nuked till Negi are left!
Hello, folks, and welcome back again.
It's been a while.
This is The Cinema Beef Podcast.
I am one of your hosts, Gary Hill.
With me tonight is not the usual people, but people you know, I would hope by now, but some support from this show and other shows that I'm on.
They are the hosts with the mostest of The They Must Be Destroyed On Sight Podcast.
Lee Russell, how are you doing, sir?
I am doing fine.
How are you, Gary?
Oh, I am here.
Spring is sprung, so seasonal allergies are, you know, being a fucking asshole, but I'm alive, you know.
Man, oh man.
With us also is the lovely Lady Lee.
How are you doing, babe?
I am doing great.
I'm doing as good as I can be right now.
I am happy.
That's all that matters.
That's good.
Happiness is good.
And I'm glad you're with us and maybe very busy with school and, you know, moving or whatnot.
If you want to lay his address, just hit us up.
We'll tell you what it is, you know, for all the good news and good tomorrow.
Not really, but, you know, Oh, my gosh.
It's been so long, guys, but, you know, I'm going to kick it out the same way.
We always kick it off and say to the lady, what's she been watching lately?
Okay, so I've been in the middle of a move, so I haven't been watching much, but I've been binge watching Bob's Burgers, the series, because I'm absolutely obsessed with it.
And it's probably my favorite go-to, like, feel good, just put in the background TV series.
So for like the sixth or seventh time I watched the series, I've watched it so many times.
I finish it off and I'm like, okay, cool.
Let's start it again.
Yeah, they're in the wrong with that.
I enjoy Bob's Burgers as well, and I enjoy what it does sometimes, is it throws stuff out there that genre cinema fans may know through the references of.
I love the Hawk and Chick episode, and the almost shibita freaking sorcerer in one of the Christmas episodes.
It's the little stuff in there, you know.
Well, I may have to watch them.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Look, what's he in?
They have a lot of pop culture references, like surprisingly so many, like there's some that I catch on to and there's others that I don't, but I know they make reference to a lot of like just unusual things where you're like, oh, hey, I know that.
Oh, and the whole Italian western genre, when Bob has the episode where he's obsessed with a character called Banjo, instead of Django, it's Banjo, you know?
I think that, I think doesn't Sabata have a Banjo character in it though?
Yeah, Banjo is in Sabata.
Played by William Berger.
So it's like a whole, yeah, it's like a whole thing.
And there's a lot of little shit in Bob Berger's.
And again, like she says, the rewatchability is there.
And I think it has a lot to do with the writing and the voice actors, which she's also an archer, which I enjoy.
And apparently Bill Skarsgård's inner monologue in that boy kills everybody movie or whatever it's called, that action movie.
So I haven't seen it yet, but I'm there for it.
I'm there for it that way, you know, because he doesn't talk.
I guess the H.
John Benjamin doesn't talk for him throughout the whole film.
It's like his inner monologue.
I'm there for it.
But Mr.
Lee, what's your watch line, brother?
I'll just mention one thing, really.
I just watched this the other day.
It just popped up on Shutter.
It's Infested from 2023, directed by Sebastian Vanecek.
French language horror film, creature feature movie.
If people don't know the story of it, it's set in this tenement apartment in France.
And it's run down, and it's like, oh, lower class, poor people live there kind of thing.
Very much like the blocks in Attack the Block and stuff.
But instead of Britain, it's set in France.
So there's this one guy who's into rare bugs and stuff.
He lives in the apartment, and he's got dreams of being more and doing well by his family and his neighbors and stuff.
But he's just basically a petty criminal who sells stolen sneakers and shit like that to people.
But he's got a real thing for bugs and exotic animals and stuff like that.
He's got this whole vivarium kind of thing set up in his bedroom with all these rare creatures and shit in it.
He's going to buy a present for somebody, and it's from this shady guy who sells him a rare spider.
So he takes it home, but he doesn't keep it in a proper box.
The spider escapes, and it happens to be an incredibly aggressive, deadly version of like a species of recluse spider.
And the thing about the spider is the way it defends itself is it evolves and gets bigger and meaner.
So it starts multiplying immediately, starts having babies, and they infest the entire apartment building very quickly and start picking people off.
And then we get like a wreck situation where the police show up and basically quarantine the whole building and keep the people in.
And there's a sort of juxtaposition kind of thing.
There's this sort of allusion to, oh, he keeps bugs in his varvarium or whatever, and now the police are keeping people they consider pretty much bugs because they're lower class in sort of a similar situation.
And while that's happening, these spiders, some of them get bigger, but they don't get so big that it's completely unbelievable because you see something like eight-legged freaks or something like that.
And it's like there's no spider that can get that big because its exoskeleton would crush under the weight of it.
But these ones get about as big as spiders would have gotten in like prehistoric times with like more oxygen in the air and stuff like that.
They get pretty fucking big.
They get bigger than any spider you see in real life.
And it's a combination of CGI and some practical effects, I do believe.
It's very effectively done.
There's incredibly tense fucking sequences here set up, like foreshadowed beforehand because this cheap ass tenement building, it has like limited lighting in it.
So like if you go to a certain hallway where there's like, they usually keep the lights off.
There's like automatic lights, of course, where you have to like clap your hands, wave your arms, whatever to turn them on and then walk down the hallway kind of thing.
I think they just sent you.
I think the clap is a bit different.
Well, yeah, whatever.
I think the clapper because, you know, I grew up with the clapper, not the clap.
But there's also like, I don't know how these people don't have like flashlights with batteries and stuff like that.
Everyone in the building who has a flashlight seems to have one that's like a wind up one that has a charge.
And then the charge, you have to keep winding it to keep it lit.
And they also have like these light switches on the fucking walls that you wind it up and it gives you like a minute of light.
So there's a sequence where they have to go down this long corridor that's just infested with these fucking aggressive spiders.
And they got to keep the fucking light on and get down the corridor while the light's still on.
And it's really, really well done.
I won't spoil anything else, but I think it's probably, in my mind, the best horror movie of the year so far.
So it's really good.
It's like the lights in my old hallway.
Probably slightly better than the lights in your old hallway, but yeah.
Yeah, at least theirs worked.
Yeah, they at least turn on sometimes.
But yeah, that's the only thing I'll mention, I think.
Cool.
I watched a few things.
I'll mention a few.
I haven't been recording a long time about watching things since then.
Two things, Elwa Harold, one thing you guys talked about your show on great length was the Fallout series.
It's excellent.
Excellently casted.
Walton Goggins could do no wrong, in my opinion.
He was excellent on the show.
No surprise there of me.
Never played a video game in my life of this, but I went in blind and I said, I'm going to watch this because Walton Goggins and I enjoyed the whole thing.
You know, all the characters in the thing, even like random character actors show up in this.
I forget the actress's name, but she's been in tons of things.
She's the one that replaced the guy's leg when the guy lost his leg.
She plays Patty the daytime hooker.
My name is Earl, plus many, many other things, but you know, it's heartwarming.
I love when folks like that show up in things.
There's a lot of that going on here.
Chris Parnell shows up as a one-eyed person in this, and I just got to meet him, which was spectacular.
Yeah, just good.
It's a good watch, and I'm much like you guys looking forward to the next season, because it means it opened for something pretty big, and that and another Amazon product that I'll push because it's such a fucking cartoon.
The Roadhouse Redux, I will push people because don't go in the eyes of saying, I'm looking for a spiritual remake of the Patrick Swayze one, which is a film I love.
I'm wearing a sock clasp, and I'm out to some people, but I have to film my love.
This is like a cartoon version of that.
Sam Elliott, but with Conor McGregor, who rolls in there like a juggernaut, just knocks in the people and shit.
You get to about an hour in the movie, he shows up, and it's not a slog to get through, but once Conor shows up just to show you, hey, this is this unstoppable enemy, you're like, no, I've been doing it all the way now.
You know, that's the best way I could put it.
Didn't need to be two hours.
I will say that about the film, so nothing needs to be two hours.
I heard Jake Gyllenhaal was actually kind of like the weakest part of that entire film, that otherwise it was like...
It's a shame too, because I really like him as an actor in a lot of things, even not so much Donnie Darko.
People subscribe to Donnie Darko.
I'm not one of those people, but Nightcrawler, even something as heartwarming as Bubble Boy.
Because I haven't seen him forever.
I'm a Joe Johnston fan though, so I should really revisit October Sky.
That's why I missed him and I loved him.
I liked that.
No, it was good.
Yeah, I liked that time travel movie he did, the one where he's on the train or whatever, and he keeps, it's like Groundhog Day, but he keeps popping back in time and he's got to stop a terrorist on a train or something like that.
I can't remember the fucking name of it.
I don't know this.
I probably just stepped out.
Am I thinking the wrong goddamn thing?
No, no, I'm sure it's a thing.
I haven't seen everything.
You know, it's just, you got one that I follow.
I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna check this because I need to know.
No, you got it.
You got it, man.
Self Paws, another one that's underrated, I think, as far as he's, he got pretty ripped for that movie.
I think he got less ripped for Roadhouse, which is surprising.
And I mean, he was like super ripped for Self Paws.
Yeah, that's another one.
Prisoners.
I've never seen Brokeback Mountain.
It's just, Oh my God, I love it.
At the time, the actors did not appeal to me.
Zodiac.
So one day, one day, lady, I will say again.
Zodiac, of course, as well.
Oh yeah.
I keep mentioning things.
Source code, source code.
That's it.
From 20.
I've always seen the box.
I never picked it up.
It's one of those things.
It's just to watch it.
Yeah, like he.
I may have owned it before.
I don't know.
It's like they they time jump like his consciousness and other people's bodies on this train.
They keep like having to repeat it as he tries to like sort of suss out who the bomber is in this train.
He's got like eight minutes every time to try to figure it out.
It's a pretty neat little like Twilight Zoney kind of premise.
It's pretty cool.
Put that together with the Tom Cruise joints.
Oh, yeah.
I'm excited to and the edge of tomorrow, yes.
The women on my podcast hate Tom Cruise, but the last time I was at Suzanne's house, I made her watch Rock of Ages.
I said, I'm going to make you watch something really stupid that you're going to enjoy.
You know, at the end of the movie, she really enjoyed it.
So there's that.
It's hard to watch anything with him in it.
So I get it.
I mean, I'll watch I'll watch it just I have a hard time watching it in Rock of Ages.
He wears leather pants with a cod piece with a demon's tongue.
I'm guessing he made out some kind of Ruby coming out of his crotch area.
So there's that, you know, that kind of thing.
You just got to separate the crazy Scientologist from the actual actor who like who's in the sixties and still does crazy stunt work because he's a crazy person and no one can tell him no because he's so powerful in Hollywood.
Well, other actors who are older do their own stunt work.
So I'd rather watch them than him.
So I don't care whatever he wants to do.
X, I'm sorry, X, X-Men 97.
If you haven't yet, please do.
I never watched something that made me so excited and feel so tragic all at the same time in the parts of it, man.
The last episode they had, they dropped some pretty big bombs of things to come.
So yeah, that's my Wednesday, X-Men 97, watching it work.
So I'm looking forward to that.
I watched the first two episodes when they dropped, and then I had like, yeah, you know what?
I don't really have much nostalgia for this.
I'm probably not going to continue.
Well, I'll tell you, they get a lot right, what these big productions got wrong.
They got the bloodlines right, finally.
They haven't mentioned that Magneto and Juggernaut, they're brothers, I think, in the comic, I think, right?
No, it's Professor Xavier and Juggernaut are brothers in the comic, if I remember correctly.
Yeah, because he just shows up in this last episode, and this is spoilers, of course.
Magneto escapes and lets out a giant EMP, which frees a bunch of delightful villains that we all know and love.
And one of them is Dr.
Doom, so I'm getting ready for a shit storm to happen real soon.
I'd be so happy watching it.
That's all I'm saying about it.
I might get back into it.
It's excellent.
Oh, yeah, I recommend it.
And the usual TV shit, Dark Side of the Ring, if you haven't watched it, it's sensational.
I was just going to say very hit or miss season because there's a couple of people there.
It's like not really tragic lives like John Tinta didn't really like other than the fact that he died of cancer.
It's like, where's the Dark Side of the Ring part of that, though?
It's like he was a well loved performer who was like really good.
Yep.
Yeah.
It should have been biography material with that one, I think, because all the Russians I've met over the years and they all want to talk to me because I'm full.
You know, skullets with the long beard.
I don't know if you guys noticed, but I look a lot like the earthquake.
Oh, no, you don't say?
They tend to, no, I don't say.
So they tend to pull me aside.
Roddy was the best.
See, he's been Roddy Piper before.
He was full on, you know, a loving guy.
He would hug you with his whole body.
His whole body he would hug you with and, you know, he, and again, they all want to tell me earthquake stories, him, Ted DiBiase, anybody you can think of under the sun that I've met, they all want to tell me earthquake stories of what a nice guy he was.
So when that came out and it confirmed that he was this great family man and that he was, it was very loving and respectful to his coworkers, it was not a surprise to me at all that John Tendo was a great man that died too soon.
You know, it was, I was BS'ed certain ones.
I was just going to say like, and he's one of the ones who died too soon just from like cancer.
Oh, excuse me, from cancer.
Like it's, he's not like these other guys, like, you know, like Davey Boy Smith, who dies at like fucking 40, like at 40.
It's like I'm 46 now, I've lived six years longer than that fucker who is like in amazing shape otherwise, other than like all the steroids and drugs he did that fucking blew his heart out or whatever, you know.
But the fucking, yeah, it's crazy to think that like he died at 40, like Mr.
Perfect died at like 44 or something like that, like not much older and like all those guys kind of like popped off in their thirties and forties.
It's crazy.
Well, they are much rougher road schedule, much rougher road schedule back in those days than they did, you know, now, whereas those guys wrestle two times in a day and they go to the next city and wrestle two times again another day, you know, and it's a much rigorous work schedule back in those days because if you did work, you didn't eat.
It's not like these guys now where you see them and like Seth Rollins on Instagram taking his kid to Disneyland and shit, you know, you didn't see that stuff back in those days, you know.
Yeah.
Those sorts of things like time off if you're hot on TV, there's those sorts of things back in those days.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, the Sherry one was especially good.
I always enjoyed Sherry as a performer and as a ballet and I never knew a whole lot about her.
My, we talked about her friend Virgil off the air.
His mom was a wrestler and he was, my buddy Virgil was a second generation wrestler and she worked with Sherry, you know, stuff like that.
And they got into, you know, everybody talks about Moola because you kind of have to because she was the queen pin of women's wrestling for a long time.
She was the authority and Moola got paid.
So there's that, you know.
She was an abusive pimp is what she was, but.
Pretty much, you know, but without her, they didn't get booked.
So it's like, you know, you take the abuse, take the abuse of Moola or else she's at work, you know, especially.
Oh my gosh.
Nasty woman, you know, but.
Absolutely terrible.
Oh my gosh.
That's, that's about it for me, though, I'm sure that I'm forgetting, you know.
Lee's just like, I don't know, rewatches, I'm sure.
Lee's just like, what?
Say it again?
Lee's just like.
Well, if you want to watch it, go find a tough, go look up Moola and some Moola stories and it'll surprise the hell out of you.
You know, how tenacious she was there lately, well, smart businesswoman, I'll give it that.
But here, here, here today, tonight, we're treating the lady here to a feature that many leaders do together.
It's a beef out of the can episode, where we take two films in the studio that those crazy Israelis built, don't hold us politically correct to that.
I know there's a crisis going on in that area.
So just I'm just saying, guys, but they were two Israeli brothers who built a studio and built an empire really on trash and made a lot of money doing it.
And these two films we're gonna do tonight are post apocalyptic in nature.
One's a little more clear than the other one, America 3000, and we're doing The Apple, which I'm very excited about both these movies because I should be told I didn't have a bad time with them.
So I'm curious about what my co-hosts have to say about this and yeah, we'll get to that uh right now with America 3000 from 1986 after the trailer.
It is 900 years after the great nuke, and the roles of women have changed dramatically.
Much to the displeasure of men and mutants, for it's a new kind of war being fought, with a certain kick to it.
Meet Corvus, he's a scholar.
Horse.
He's a spy.
He's a man who falls back into the 20th century and lands the most important job in America.
Mr.
President.
Me for president.
Meet Vena, the virginal queen of the Thunder Warrior.
It is up to Corvus and Vena to bring a little civilization back into the world.
I'm a man.
Corvus and Vena.
Two love birds out to prove that love is the only thing worth nuking for.
America 3000, an outrageous post-nuke adventure.
America 3000 from 1986.
Yeah, this is a canon film.
So of course, plot synopsis is this.
In a post-apocalyptic wasteland where a tribe of women rule and all men are either ferals or slaves, one man, one, this is one man here, one man rises up to free the men.
Can they coexist in peace or will they have to die in war?
This is written and directed by David Engelbach, whose Canon credit is pretty much all Canon.
He was a writer on Death Wish 2, has a story credit on Over The Top, and I think not much more past that.
He did an episode of MacGyver and he also acted in Jaws.
He was just like a lab assistant.
Yeah, he was just like a lab assistant or something on Jaws.
And I think that was like the first thing he did in the industry.
And then he went on to work with Canon basically, that was it.
Well, it was good.
It was good employment there for a little while.
Oh yeah.
Till the empire kind of fell.
If you didn't blow all your money on cocaine and you saved a few bucks and you're fine.
There you go.
This starts Chuck Wagner as Corpus.
You may know him if you watched the early 80s series Auto Man.
I saw those on bootleg tapes a long ago.
And it is a reason why we're away so fast, but it is what it is.
Laureen Landon as Berna, William Wallace as Gruss, Sue Gloss as Maura.
I don't know all these names.
There's a lot of names here, but one of the most important characters in the whole film, Steve Malavick is already the awful because I love a guy in a goddamn suit.
So there's that, you know.
I should mention Laureen Landon.
So she's the big star in this basically other than Chuck Wagner.
She was in Hundra, and she actually had a couple other interesting credits.
She was in The Stuff and It's Alive 3 and Maniac Cop 1 and 2 as well.
So she had a little bit of a-
She worked with Larry Cohen, man.
Yeah, she had a little bit of a B-movie career going on there for a while.
Cool, brother.
I'm gonna get down to the meat and bones.
This is a post-apocalyptic joint.
I dug it more than some of these.
I'm gonna kick it to our male lead of the bunch here, Mr.
Lee Russell.
What do you think of America 3000, sir?
I'm glad we finally have a movie that talks about the real problem in society today, the matriarchy and all this wokeness that is ruining what real men are.
No, this is a movie where I think honestly, both the movies that we're gonna be talking about tonight are a perfect example of why Golan Globus should have stuck to their wheelhouse more often than not.
And they kind of did usually with Canon stuff.
And that's where they were most successful.
Whenever they tried to branch out from crime and action movies, they usually misread what brought people to those movies, I think, in some respects.
I will give them credit for this though.
This movie tries to do a little bit of everything that these sort of post-apocalyptic movies were doing at the time.
And they try to do a couple different things too, namely stuff like the soundtrack, which is very like 80s butt metal stuff, like stuff you'd hear in heavy metal parking lot and shit like that.
I was very surprised by that because you usually don't hear that.
You usually hear cheap synthesizer music in all these kind of thing.
But for the most part, a lot of this obviously was rewritten because I know this is a script that David Engelbach had kicking around since the 1970s that he'd wanted to get produced.
And so he obviously did some work for Golden Globus for a while until they gave him a deal like, we'll let you direct the film.
You've done some good work for us with like Death Wish and stuff like that.
We'll let you direct the film.
And then he directs this, but it's pretty obvious that Golden Globus or somebody under them had some input into what this eventually became, because a lot of this stuff feels like we've seen the Mad Max films now, and now we have to rewrite a bunch of shit.
Like this feels like it was probably a way different film in the 1970s if it had been made then as opposed to post Mad Max, where now it's like trying to do everything Mad Max was doing and throw in a guy in an ape costume and throw in a secret bomb shelter with the president's shit and his tin foil suit in it.
And this weird...
Lady Lee and I saw this really shitty Italian movie last year.
I can't remember the fucking...
When men were something and women were this.
Yeah, and it was like battle the sexes between male and female cavemen.
It feels like a lot of that in this fucking film too.
A lot of humor that really doesn't land.
But I didn't hate this.
It was an easy watch for the most part.
There was definitely some interesting stuff in it.
I just will get into it as we talk about it more in general, but I don't feel like it necessarily came together all that well, honestly.
I will say when we get into more discussion, but I do have some major problems with this that were really irritated the fuck out of me.
But that being said, I did not hate the film.
I was just kind of disappointed that it went certain directions.
I think I know what you're talking about there, at least one of those scenes.
I was going to call my, what was I going to call, if this was a They Must Be Destroyed On Sight Podcast, and I forget now.
It was certainly disgusting.
Oh yeah, it was about semen.
Lady Lee, it was about semen, yes it was.
Oh, something about a phrase they used being seated in this movie.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, that's what it was about.
I don't mean to laugh about that.
I'm sorry guys.
Lady Lee, what is your thoughts on America 3000?
I may have fallen asleep a couple of times trying to watch this movie.
I was tired though because I had just come after a shift and I didn't sleep well the night before.
So the problem is I was like, I had to watch on my bed because I had already packed up my TV and my laptop, so I only had the small TV in my bedroom.
So I was all cozy and comfy under my blanket with my cat.
So I fell asleep a couple of times trying to watch it.
But it was a little dry.
It seemed like it had this fun idea, but they tried too hard.
It was just, hey, we're going to try and be cool.
We want to be like this weird, initially seems like dystopian future that turns into like a utopia when women work together.
So it was very okay.
I think there was some really cool fight scenes.
And there was some really cool fight scenes.
But like, I don't know, I think it was a little bit, it was just too much.
It was like, it's like one of those parents that try to be hip using the lingo.
That's what it felt like.
Like as someone who's like trying to or going to school to be a teacher, they always talk about like, oh yeah, the kids coming up with the language.
I'm like, I just admit that I don't understand.
I don't force myself and try to make, to like sound like I understand it or I'm hip.
But that's exactly it.
It sounds like an adult who's trying to be hip with children.
Like that's, this whole movie, that's how it felt.
So it was like that cringy every time he used the word plastic.
Oh my God, stop now.
Are you saying you don't have the Riz?
I don't even know what the fuck that means.
No cap?
No, you don't know any of that Zoom or Alpha lingo shit?
No?
They said Sigma a lot.
I was like, that's so Sigma.
And I just wanted to be like, hey, that's a character that I played.
That's all I know.
I know Sigma was a name of a character in a movie that I did.
As far as my lingo goes.
Yeah, I get, you know, you know, there's not a whole lot to say about this film, but I think that as a whole, it's kind of like, it turns into like this battle of the sexes kind of thing.
Like we have a society of men here, because they're all men.
And we have a society of women here.
They're all women.
So, so, but one of us is right, one of us is wrong.
You know, one of us is going to be new with the other one.
And the whole idea of them playing, you know, communism in the play here, and you are in 1986, I'd imagine.
They think that communism is going to stick around for a very long time and, you know, be scared of Russia and all those other stuff and whatever.
It's America 3000.
I don't take it too seriously.
The stuff we'll take seriously, though, is it's not the acting that kept me in the movie.
It's the way it was filmed.
I think it was filmed very well.
I think it contributed to the stunt coordinator, and the fight coordinator, who I know his name, because he's Ernie Reyes Sr.
So a lot of the hand-to-hand stuff and the kicks and stuff looked very good.
And I think he had a big hand in that because he's a great martial artist, who's of course father of Ernie Reyes Jr.
who we may know from many more things besides his father.
But this is why I watch Serpent Ninja so much because you get to see Ernie Reyes Sr.
fight with his son in the movie.
And that's...
Oh, didn't Junior do all...
You don't get to see that in any other movie.
Didn't Junior work with all the PM Entertainment stuff?
I think so.
He was in Red Sonja, I know.
He was in Last Dragon when he was very young.
He did that TV show, I think, with Lee Van Cleef.
He was on that show.
Oh, The Master?
Maybe it was another show.
Yeah, I think it was another show.
He was on some TV show when he was very young.
It was his last show, right?
Lee Van Cleef's last thing he did before he died, The Master?
I think so.
I think he may have been on that show.
I'm not 100% sure, but he was on some other...
some show where he was a karate kicking kid on a show.
But it was always fun to watch him do things.
And again, I always go back to Serpent Ages because I get to see him and his father fight together.
And that's...
it's fun to watch where all that...
all those kicks came from.
And, you know...
But this film itself, you know...
You're right, though.
All the fights and the action stuff is actually pretty top notch.
It all looks really, really good, which makes it really stick out when comparing it to everything else that's going on in the film.
Especially when during the action scenes, everything gets very violent, like super violent.
And then the rest of the movie is played like a comedy, which I was kind of weirded out by.
I was like, totally, I felt like the film was kind of everywhere.
And also my biggest objection to this film is it's a film about sexy Amazon women who, you know, again, in the post-apocalypse have an endless supply, apparently.
Like they found some catch of like hairspray and makeup products because they're all done up like fucking hot chicks in like a 1980s music video.
And not at any time in this movie, do any of them get naked.
There was no nudity that I saw.
And I was watching pretty closely for that because I was like, come on, it's a canon film.
It's got sexy cave women.
Well, basically cave women.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if like this originally was like a caveman, cavewoman, like fucking movie that got turned into a post-apocalyptic.
But sexy fucking Amazon women tribe who keep men as sex slaves.
And yet we don't see a bit of sex.
We see a little bit of sexual tension where it's like maybe hinted that the rival Amazon tribe, you know, there's like this Amazon political thing going on that's like really boring.
But like the bad Amazon tribe is like it's hinted that like they're all like lesbians basically or whatever.
Because like there's some like little bit of flirtatious like, oh, the bad guys are making their plans.
And it's like hinted like after we take over, then we'll fuck and stuff like that.
But then they never fuck.
So it's like no payoff.
Lee wanted boobies.
Well, according to that one scene though, where they're like about to make out, but he doesn't know quite how to do it.
Yeah, it's like you can tell they have been together for a long time, men and women in that way, except for of course, you know, the seeding that happens in this movie.
We were talking about that though.
It's bad.
Yeah, basically we're breeding with each other forcefully and that's rape in every country, but it's in post-apocalyptic barbarian times, I guess it's just repopulating the earth, I guess.
I don't know.
I mean, that's a canon.
It's gross nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure that's like when like canon, if they had like a Bible for their films, like here's our filmmaking ethos, and this is what we think about certain subjects and certain topics.
I'm pretty sure that like, hey, if we're going to make a feminist movie, if women force men to have sex, that's just feminism and it's not rape.
That's probably what their stance was.
I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say that Golden Globes were the most enlightened people in the world, honestly.
Their movies, quite honestly, for the most part, pretty bad when it comes to stuff like that.
Well, if you think of a plot in which, in Hell Comes the Frog Town, they just take old Roddy Piper back to their camp and they just fucking milk him for all of his semen until he's tired and he can't give no more.
Because that's not really why before was this fucking semen.
Yeah.
You know, feminism in its finest.
Hey, what year was Hell Comes the Frog Town?
Wasn't that like a couple years later, pretty sure?
Right around the same time, I'd say.
I looked that up, you know.
I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say Hell Comes the Frog Town, you hack.
You ripped off America 3000.
All you added was giant frog people.
Yeah, so they are delightful and out of place in that movie, but he did go to Frog Town and Rory Calhoun is there and Sandal Birdman is there.
I will say there's no movie.
Yes, indeed.
There's no nudity in that movie either, is there?
I seem to recall.
No, but she was trying to get it, you know, in her undies, but, you know, he wasn't willing because he was kidnapped, you know, and was under false pretenses.
Yeah.
So this is given.
Yeah, these are just examples of like movie makers not reading their audience.
You know, more nudity in this movie, it probably would have been way better.
Sure, because that movie that we watched totally proved otherwise, by the way, just saying.
The men who play, men who play whatever, men who play ding-dongs and then something, something.
Well, that was an example of a movie being so bad that the nudity couldn't save it.
Plus the nudity and that one was like mostly a far away shot of like the women bathing on the mountainside or whatever the fuck it was.
It wasn't even like any close up or any sex scenes or anything like that.
So it's like a sex comedy without any close up nudity.
What's the point?
What is the point?
This was fun enough for me.
Like I said, the action held together, the stuff in between like you guys mentioned that didn't work so well.
I think America 3000 with better actors, I think a tighter script would work a lot better because they had a lot of the right key points in there.
I'm looking for the word.
I can't find the word.
But it held together.
I would say it has a beginning and a middle and an end.
I can say I have watched.
It was.
I'll say this for it.
It was a series of moving pictures at 24 frames a second.
So in that regard, it was definitely a movie.
You could watch other ones of these though and say, I didn't have a good time with it because the plot is literally worse in the fact that it's all over the place.
And the fight looks really shitty.
I mean, I love Lance Henriksen, but there's a film called Savage Dawn that features him, George Kennedy and Karen Black.
I forget who else, but he is doing some terrible white guy kung fu in that movie that these go away somewhere.
It's just locked in the vault somewhere.
And it looks real bad, but this film, I was going to say, I could appreciate a boombox that just never loses its energy.
And there's some good batteries.
And a variety of cassettes that they had that somehow had a crazy variety of music.
But I mean, honestly, I was just going to say, honestly, the biggest problem with this film is, aside from the lack of nudity, it is that slang.
It is that fucking narration.
It is that fucking narration, too.
Did not need the narration.
The narration I thought was really boring.
I thought it took away because I thought the person who was doing the narrating read it at a very lackluster level.
I thought I was watching like post-apocalyptic wonder years or some bullshit.
I was expecting it to be like Daniel Stern.
That's when I met Winnie Cooper and she was in Amazon.
I did not need that in this film.
That's a big problem with a lot of these films.
If you go into a post-apocalyptic movie, you know what the situation is.
You can organically do any story beats with the characters as they go through the script, as they act.
You don't need to set up a narration.
You don't need to talk about the oil wars or whatever bullshit.
You already know.
Shut up.
Everyone knows what fucking these movies are.
You don't need to explain them.
I think Cannon was trying too hard, like Lee was saying.
Like they were just like too over-zoomer, too ambitious, a little too like, we need to explain everything when you didn't.
You just need to put boobies in it.
That's all you need to do.
You could have cut all this other unnecessary shit out of it.
But Lee, I am man.
I am man.
You are woman.
Sure.
That's how peace is created.
Because the end is an ABC alphabet book that you find in the post-apocalyptic world.
It will bring peace.
That's the end.
Me, Carza, and you, Jane?
Yeah.
Oh, Lee, you know what the fuck?
And Gary won't get this because he hasn't played the games.
But you know what that book reminded me of?
It reminds me of like Fallout New Vegas where...
Or actually, it's in Fallout 3, too, I believe, and Fallout 4.
Like, where you read the little book, the little kid's book, and it gives you your skills.
It levels up your skills.
It miraculously levels up your skills.
It miraculously levels up this dude's speech, where he can now speak perfect English and like...
Totally understand everything.
He understands how to use a gun.
He's like, oh yeah, I read that ABC book.
I can read this incredibly complicated manual that has different languages, and I don't understand that there's such thing as different languages.
Yeah.
And it sounds like I'm like really shitting on this movie.
I'm just kind of like...
I'm kind of like puffing it up a little bit for entertainment value, but...
The dialogue has to...
No, go ahead, go ahead.
No, I said dialogue has got to go, like you guys mentioned before.
It's not like Clockwork Orange to where they created their own language.
He created the language in the book actually that the author.
Yes.
And you know, it works because of the visuals you have on screen.
It doesn't matter if you don't know what the fuck Alex DeLarge is saying to his friends.
With the visuals, you get the idea when he goes to two young new bottle girls in the record store and he says, hey, what do you got to play your fuzzy warbles on?
That's his way of saying, hey, go back to my place and fuck.
You get that.
Yes.
That's by the way he's acting in that movie.
And also, also Clockwork Orange, there's way more world building in that.
And that's why the language stuff and the slang and the gang culture and all that shit works better in Clockwork Orange because there's world building there.
There's no world building in this movie.
The world is already pre-built.
Like I said, everyone knows what these movies are.
Everyone knows exactly what they're getting into.
You add extra shit like slang and crap like that.
It just confuses the audience.
You don't need it.
It's so plastic.
You're plastic.
They saw those kids doing it in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdomes.
I guess they figured it was okay.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I feel like Thunderdome came out just before this, it must have, because that shit's obviously written into that after Mad Max Thunderdome.
It had to have been.
When was Thunderdome?
Thunderdome was 85?
Sure.
Sounds right, yeah.
I got to double check this shit.
You have to watch Thunderdome now, Lady Lee, because it's wonderful.
You've seen Thunderdome, haven't you, Lee?
I've seen Thunderdome.
I'm pretty sure I've seen Thunderdome.
I'm pretty sure I have seen Thunderdome.
There you go.
Yeah, 85.
So, yes, obviously, Golden Globe is like, hey, Engel Dink or whatever this guy's name is who directed this, Engel Bach, do you have any scripts that we can make into a movie?
I have this one that's like Stone Age Cave people, Battle of the Sexes.
Oh, that's fun.
Let's put Mad Max into that.
Let's put Thunderdome because I just saw Thunderdome and Thunderdome is popular.
So that feels like exactly what this is.
And oh, yeah.
And a guy in an ape suit.
Hey, the part where R was deodorant is one of the funniest things I've seen in a movie in my life.
He's just so happy, you know.
He definitely loved that boombox.
Yeah.
Well, if you put a random guy in an ape suit in a movie, I'm probably going to be there for it.
I'm just going to say it.
You know, it wasn't a bad ape suit.
I watched what I watched.
It was a Frank internet movie.
Was it Bikini Beach?
Bikini Beach, I think it was, where Keenan Wynn was trying to prove that a learned gorilla is smarter than the teenagers.
So you had a guy in a gorilla suit surfing.
You know what?
I was there for it, man.
But the beach party movies have something going on that this movie doesn't have.
They're fun.
That's the big difference.
The gorilla?
The man kind of made me laugh because he found the deodorant and knew what to do with it.
He's like, I understand that I'm stinky.
I need to put this under my armpits.
Yeah.
Even though he's like, asks what they're doing is covering up his style, not washing, but whatever.
I don't think anyone's going to notice.
Showering does not, I mean, deodorant does not replace showering.
It's a very important message to everybody out there.
Yeah, I'll use Zoomers out there to say it.
And millennials and whatever else, every fucking human being out there.
Not just the generations that have come after my generation.
You kidding me?
No.
Gen X cleanest generation.
Aquin is real too, people.
Even in a post-apocalyptic world.
Oh my God.
A fucking nuclear blast couldn't knock those hairdos down, dude.
Okay, I do have to say though, their hairdos are somewhat realistic, it's easier to elevate, so truthfully, that was more messy, post-apocalyptic hair looks than the long hair that looks sleek and perfect.
So I can leave those hairdos because when your hair is all gross and disgusting and whatever, it's so much easier to style and work with.
When the bombs fell, finally fall, Lee, and we both survive, I'm looking forward to about three months in the post-apocalypse when your hair looks like you're a backup dancer for a Motley Crue video in the 80s.
Most likely, versus the usual you see with the hair that's just down and looks really pretty.
Yeah, it's a lot more believable.
I'm not saying we'd be perfectly up like that, but definitely a lot more believable, like just realistically be entirely matted and disgusting, which agreed, I mean accepted that I will not survive.
I am a nearsighted person who's almost passing my prime as a female, so my ovaries are useless and my genetics are useless.
So why would people want to reproduce with me anyway?
Survivalistically, if you're joined by genes, it would be a dumb choice.
Well, ovaries aside, I'm sure, you know, I don't want to talk about how fertile.
Only if it's post-pocalyptic.
I love the things that I have.
I don't want to re-learn how to live.
So I think I would just enjoy the rest of my life as much as I could and be like, I'm good, I'm not going to try and survive.
I've watched Survivor Man, I know how to boil my own pee and drink it.
I watched it too and I had no interest.
None of those people looked happy during the process of trying to survive.
So I'm very happy with just enjoying what little life I would have left instead of being miserable and the rest of my life.
Yeah, no, you're right.
I'd leave the world to, I'd hope I'd die right away.
So we can just leave the world to the preppers and have them die within about three or four months because they're all failures too.
Exactly.
All right, I'm going to wrap this here and I'm going to ask the lady, anything else you'd like to say about America 3000?
I think I said what I need to say.
I guess I saw it as like, I don't know, it's one of those movies where they always like tell you like, oh, but you do need men.
You can't hate men.
How dare you hate men?
And that's just kind of how I felt with this one.
It just, like, just, they seem to just, I don't know.
It was like this show of like, why feminists are bad, because you have to have men.
And if you have women that are anti-men, they just go against each other and go against men.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Either way, wasn't a huge fan.
Fair enough.
Surely, my brother, we think.
If you're interested in endless narration, if you're interested in a bunch of hapless men building the worst base they could hope to build out of like, old ammo boxes and pipes stacked in a way that are made to obviously fall over instantly if the female tribe attacks, if you like post-apocalyptic women with really teased up hairsprayed hair and makeup without a smudge of dirt on them, who don't get naked at all in the film when they should, this might be the movie for you.
It was not for me.
I didn't hate it, but it was just like when you're rating this as far as like the post-apocalyptic stuff that came out in the 80s, this is like a sub tier, like Mad Max ripoff that's been kind of, you know, something else that's been recycled into a Mad Max ripoff and it's not a great one.
It doesn't know whether it wants to be a comedy or wants to be a serious movie because the action stuff is really good.
Like honestly, it is really, really good and it needed more of that but the tone of the rest of the movie is like dynamically opposed to the viciousness and the actual action scenes but it's not a terrible watch.
It's just like one that's so scatterbrained and weird narration and bad slang and the guy in the ape suit doesn't get to do anything really cool other than hold a boombox and throw a person around into like a pit at one point and that was kind of funny but yeah, no I can't recommend it.
I'd say it's like if you're completest of like these 1980s post-apocalyptic stuff, then definitely see it but otherwise you could skip it, honestly.
Yeah, I liked it for what it was.
It wasn't the best thing to watch all week.
Like I said, yeah, there's been worse ones of these.
I think we kept you in it.
It was the great fight choreography in the action scenes, right down to the horse, the way they're riding the horses.
You can tell they're properly trained how to ride these horses.
They look like, you know, look like shit.
But yeah, as a whole in the film, you know, guy in Ape Suicide, it was, it wasn't the best one of these.
It borrowed a lot from other things, like Lee said.
But I would give it a recommend for a Tubi watch.
It's on Tubi right now to check out.
Does it deserve all the slander it got in the Electric Boogaloo documentary?
I don't think so.
It's just not, it's just not good.
And the parts needs to be really, really good.
Like we mentioned, didn't know if it wanted to be a comedy or not.
There's a way to do that.
And they did another canon film, the Alan Corman movies, to where you were able to have this action adventure movie and with some comedy thrown in.
And it worked a lot better than this movie.
But yeah, that's about it for this.
Next up, we're going to join the Bim Revolution people.
And we're going to discuss The Apple from the Year of My Birth 1980 right after this trailer.
In 1994, the world is controlled by one power.
The Apple is success.
I want you to release Bibi from her contract.
Where is she?
The apple is the temptation.
The apple is the experience.
The apple is the forbidden fruit.
Now, a special experience in movie-going entertainment, The Apple.
The Apple, from 1980.
Your plot synopsis is this.
In 1994, a young couple enters the world of music, of the music industry, and subsequently the world of drugs.
That's not really fair, but yeah.
This is written and mostly, it's directed and mostly written by Menachem Golan, the man himself, the stars, the still beautiful Catherine Mary Stewart as Bibi, George Gilmore, I'm sorry, you may know her from None of the Comet, the underrated punk comedy, Western Dudes, if you check that out, but maybe one day.
She's in a bunch of, Last Starfighter, she's in some good stuff.
Yeah, Beach Girl, Weekend of the Mornings.
George Gilmore as her, yes, there's a lot of good stuff.
George Gilmore as Alfie.
I should say that a lot of these guys didn't do anything much past The Apple.
And he's one of those folks that didn't do anything past The Apple.
Yeah, Gilmore was, he was in a Scottish rock group, the Bow Weevils, like he was just brought in because he was a singer, I guess, more than anything else.
Like he did theater work, but he didn't really have a movie career.
Yeah, Grace Kennedy as Pandy.
I like that character quite a bit because she, y'all get into it.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Did you?
I did not.
Do you recognize?
Okay, Alan Love.
I was looking at him and it's like, I know this guy from somewhere.
And so then I checked his IMDB and it's like, oh, I know where I know him from.
He was in an episode of Kitchen Nightmares because he went on to open a restaurant that was failing called Love's Fish Restaurant.
And Gordon Ramsay quote unquote saved it until of course it went out of business a few years later.
But he was this-
Oh yeah.
At the point of his restaurant, he was this like out of touch guy who owned a fish restaurant who didn't eat fish.
So that tells you right there how good that was gonna go.
But yeah.
Apparently he played himself in Rockula.
Oh really, okay.
So yeah, starting to grow the great Dean Cameron in Rockula.
Vladik Shabal as Bugolo, the evil record producer.
Wasn't some stuff, some stuff, please probably seen from Russia With Love.
He was in that for a hot second.
Yeah, he's the chess master from Russia With Love.
Yeah, the Russian chess guy.
He's in a shit ton.
He's probably the most like seasoned actor in this because he's in that.
He's in the original Shogun mini series with Richard Chamberlain.
He's in Red Dawn.
He was in stuff like The Fearless Vampire Killers.
Like look at his credits.
It's crazy.
There's tons of shit he was in.
Yeah, Josh Ackland is Mr.
Topps.
You know who Josh Ackland is.
You probably do.
He introduced to me as Hans from The Mighty Ducks, the guy that was a skate shop, but also played the bad guy in The Weapon 2.
Diplomatic community, that guy.
And Denomalous, the evil bad, gym teacher bad guy from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.
He's hunt for red October.
He's been tons of stuff over the years, Josh Ackerman.
Just lost him recently, I think.
Not many years ago.
Ray Shell, who is an actor.
I like to find more stuff that he's in.
He's in Velvet Goldmine, apparently.
I've seen that film.
Didn't do a ton.
Last thing he did was in 2021, the United States versus Billie Holiday, which I've seen that before.
I did look for this person though, but he plays like the number two to Boogaloo, a man called Shake.
Miriam Margolis, who's been in tons of stuff over the years, plays Alfie's landlady in this movie.
She shows up in different parts.
I love the fact that there's these dog face people in this movie that are like the muscle for Boogaloo.
Dared Dead Man playing Bulldog, and Gunther Notham as Fat Dog, our fanged muscle in this movie.
There's more, there's a lot to unpack in this movie.
The story goes that Menachem wanted to make his version of Ken Russell's Tommy, and this is what he got.
And I'm not too mad at this movie in most ways.
So first time watch for me, I will say that, because I've always had the reputation, never watched a movie, but I'm gonna kick it to our male friendly first and say, Lee, what do you think of The Apple?
I think it was a valiant try by Golan Globus.
This is what, like, you hear stories like how, I don't know how much truth there is to this, but like initially when this was first released and it was kind of laughed out at theaters and stuff like that, that Globus was almost like ready to kill himself over what a failure this ended up being.
Like it does feel like it was a legit passion project for him because there's a lot of really good work in this film.
Like there's a lot to this film that you don't expect from a canon produced thing.
It's very, I think on the downside of this, it's very derivative of better films that do the same thing.
I find this way more enjoyable than like say, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band, which I feel is also quite similar to this.
It's definitely not better than Tommy.
Tommy is probably the king of these sort of things at this period.
But this feels like more of a mashup of Phantom of the Paradise and Rock and Rule to me.
Just the way it looks, the way it flows, feels very much like those two stories, like elements of those two stories is put together in one movie.
I feel like Phantom of the Paradise and Rock and Rule do it way better, but I think this is pretty fun for what it is.
It's the story is all over the fucking place.
Like I think the biggest problem is our leads are just fucking sad sacks that are not interesting.
Like as much as I like Katherine Mary Stewart, I don't think she does much in this film to endear herself as an interesting lead.
I feel like fucking George Gilmore is just a cute guy of an accent.
That's more likely than he is.
And their music sucks.
Like their music sucks.
And this whole story is about like them like changing and you know, selling out basically.
Like the whole story is like she sells out to become popular and he stays true to his sappy love ballots that are really terrible.
And you know, if he was actually a good musician and the songs were good, that would make this story a lot stronger, but he is terrible.
His songs are terrible.
And even when fucking Catherine Mary Stewart switches to like this more slutty ish pop star, her songs still aren't all that much better, honestly.
They're kind of like subpar, like rock stuff from Phantom of the Paradise, like something that one of the bands in Phantom of the Paradise would do as a B-side and not mention ever again.
But the real joy here is Vladik Shabal as Mr.
Boogaloo.
His fucking character is great.
And he just acts up a storm and he just acts like around everybody and like steals every scene he's in.
And that kind of saves the movie for me because I don't like musicals where like they just break in the song without any real reason.
And they do that quite often in this.
And a lot of the songs aren't all that good, even though they do like every style available.
Like there's like fucking, there's like ballads, there's rock, there's disco, there's tap dancing, there's reggae at one point, not all of it fucking lands, but like the good performances in this kind of save it.
And also I kind of appreciate how fucking gay this movie is.
Like it's so incredibly flamboyantly gay and it's not a shame to be that way.
Like it's just very openly, like we're vibing on like how fucking spectacular we are.
Like there's the like the sidekick, the Mr.
Boogaloo, who's got like the fucking glitter lipstick and glitter eye shadow and shit like that.
And just running around with that shit on, it's like gay or straight.
If you're that dedicated to wearing glitter, I got to like that, I got to give you some credit because that must have been terrible to like out of your clothes and off your body, like months and-
That's just fucking-
It's not that difficult.
It wasn't that much.
I don't know, this guy was like 50% glitter in this movie.
I think I wear more on a Saturday night than he did.
Okay, stop bragging, enough Lee.
But yeah, no, I kind of really enjoyed a lot of this.
I feel like maybe it could have cut a few musical numbers and it needed better leads, but for the most part, this does not match the reputation it gets as like one of the worst movies of all time.
It's like, brother, I just saw America 3000 and that was way worse than The Apple.
So like, let's just like slow your roll a little bit before you start mouthing off about The Apple, okay?
That's it.
Let's go to your initial thoughts there.
I think Lee enjoyed it a lot more than I did.
I gotta say, it was really boring.
The first 10 minutes, the first 10 minutes I was like, oh, hey, I kinda like this.
It's got this whole weird, like, what's the word for it?
Oh my God, I can't think of the word now.
Anyways, it has this play on with the not caring about gender.
You just do what you want and you really don't care.
And I always love that.
That's a big thing.
And I was joking, I messaged Lee, I'd be like, total recall you have.
Because the main guy totally reminded me of the main guy in total recall.
Yeah, so when I was watching it, I kind of got the sense, for whatever reason, I don't know if it was the songs, I don't know how it was, but it felt to me like it was trying too hard.
Because yeah, I was trying too hard because it reminded me of androgynous.
My God, that's what I was thinking of androgynous.
There was a lot of androgyny in this movie and I enjoyed that.
Anyways, it reminded me of Rocky Horror Picture Show for whatever reason.
I don't know why.
Oh no, yeah.
It's also very much in the same vein as that.
But the problem is like Rocky Horror Picture Show was very much classic.
Say when you mentioned Tommy was very much classic.
I think this one was just trying to run on the coattails of some other amazing musicals, while this one just, I don't know.
I think they tried to have an idea about the god and the devil fighting against each other.
But my issue was that there was no plot against the devil.
There was no real reason why you should hate the devil.
Yeah, he was, and I don't understand why people, there wasn't a reason for them to be miserable, right?
It wasn't a forced haunt.
There wasn't anything that was built on that.
This almost reminds me of the documentary Wild Wild Country.
The whole town was against the Russianish, even though they worked very well together.
Yes, they knew it was a cult.
Yes, they knew all that kind of stuff.
But the thing is, they actually worked really well together to create this community that helped each other out.
And they got hated on because it was a mockery of God, essentially.
This is kind of that side it reminds me of, where God comes to save the day to bring the modern thing, but there was, I don't know what he was being saved from.
I don't see...
You're right.
He's not, I mean, he's supposed to represent the devil, but he's not depicted as being like super evil.
He's kind of a shrewd businessman, and he's kind of like, you know, as about as crooked as any like record producer of the time.
But that's about it, other than the fact that like, this is a dystopian future where for some reason, the record company is the government, and they have like, kind of like thought moral police that like go around policing people and making sure they have a BIM sticker on their face or whatever the fuck, but otherwise...
Which by the way is a sticker.
Yeah, but you know, otherwise not necessarily the super oppressive evil regime that you would think it would be if he was like, really a bad guy.
But that's, I think that's what bothered me.
There wasn't enough to make the devil quotations.
The bad guy seemed like the devil.
It didn't push on those elements of her falling into any sort of...
I don't know, hitting any sort of wall or anything.
It just seemed like she had a good life.
She was celebrated.
She got lots of attention.
She was a fucking handsome guy.
Oh, and once we get past, once we get to Gary and his thoughts and we get into talking about this, I'll go into another point with her.
But also, God in this, he's a fucking hippie.
And it's like, are we supposed to...
This is like the point when people are starting to turn against hippies and shit in the culture.
It's like, oh, hippies are starting to grow up to become like fucking accountants and save up for their 401Ks and vote for Reagan and shit.
Are we gonna throw some love towards the hippies at this point?
I don't think so.
These disco hippies, it just seems like a globus misreading of what that culture was and what it represented, I think.
And also, I feel like it's kind of like Golan, he's putting a little bit, he's writing a little bit into this, but this is like from a previously written, like it was supposed to be like a stage performance thing from the other two co-writers.
And they actually star in this in bit parts too.
Who are they here?
Kobe and Iris, Wrecked or Rich, maybe Wrecked, whatever.
They're trying to get this off and running for years is like a stage performance, like Broadway kind of thing, musical or whatever.
And they never came to fruition, so they made it into a film.
And it's obviously that there's some more, you know, in and rewrites going on in here and it feels like it made it more of a mess than it probably was originally.
It didn't, the movie to me didn't feel very genuine, like first a musical, like it just felt like somebody who had the opportunity to do something did it versus like taking the opinions on anybody.
Like it just seemed like there was an idea here and people probably were like trying to give them feedback, but they're like, no, no, it's my idea, fuck you.
Because I just feel like there's a lot missing to make it something.
Like you were saying, the music's not that great.
I love musicals.
Actually, it's funny, I just thought of it.
I just watched Mamma Mia the other day or yesterday.
And while it is a stupid, silly movie, some of the songs are extremely catchy and how they do them.
And that's what gets you hooked on musicals.
Like there's always that one or two songs that like gets stuck in your head and you're singing them.
This one, I don't remember any of the songs.
Like it's just a very mediocre music.
Even the dancing elements, there were some good times, like some parts where there was some good dancing, but for a musical, like it kind of lacked that choreography feel too.
And yeah, like I didn't, I just didn't care for the fight, like the fight against what?
Like I didn't get that rage, I didn't get that anger.
Like I wanted something more for like the climax.
Like I just kind of then left disappointed.
It was just a little lackluster storytelling in general.
I think it just missed the mark on so many different levels.
I did find it funny that the maximum heart rate for people of excitement is 151, which means that like they're right, all 69 in the crowd.
I think that's the math, if you do it correctly.
Anyway, kind of funny.
Like, oh my God, their heart rates are reaching 151.
Okay, is that supposed to be intense?
I don't know.
Like, if you want them peaking, pretty sure like 20 year olds should be peaking at 200, but okay, 150 sounds exciting.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, this is The Apple.
This is the first time watching me.
It's like what you mentioned, I was going to mention this too, but Lee, the punch there about this feeling, like things are better than it is.
Like it feels like Phantom Paradise.
It feels like rock and roll, like a mash together, where if you ever see these films, my lady, you should watch these films, especially Phantom and rock and roll is animated.
It's just still very, very fun, but they had a lot more thunder behind the lyrics and the voices behind it.
And this film, I don't want to call it an excuse, but they tried to play this thing and imagine it's a playoff of the Eurovision contest that happens every year to where, I think where ABBA got discovered and all this other stuff.
We just started to watch it in this country.
Like last year, I think, we started watching, not voting, but actually watching the Eurovision contest and wanted to watch it.
But apparently it's a very big deal in a lot of countries to know what they're playing off for this movie.
But it doesn't matter because they kind of say, hey, we found this act that we're going to exploit because they surprisingly sang this somber love song and people were digging it.
We'll make her a star and we'll dump this dude other places, I guess.
That's what they do.
They turn BB into a star, because one line, I'd have to find it, or something along the lines of it, which basically is the whole canon model of, you know, you sell the idea, and then you make the music, or you make the song.
Yeah, you sell the album, and then you make it, is what they said.
It's like, yeah, we're going into the studio next week to record the album, but we've already sold it or whatever.
It's like, what?
Oh, yeah.
It's the same thing as what Canon would make the poster for the movie first to sell it to people before they even made the movie.
Well, not just him.
Charlie Band did that to a lot of those guys.
They made the poster first to sell the movie.
Roger Corman.
They made the movie.
Roger Corman, too.
Yeah, it was a big, big, big sell amongst independent filmmakers.
Make the poster first and sell the movie.
I said it was very interesting.
They threw that in there to say, hey, yeah, that is the Canon Business Model land.
And just say, hey, we'll make this promotional material and say, let's sell, sell, sell the movie.
And that that was all the Apple.
Yeah.
And that and that prevailed into the VHS market when that became prominent in the mid to late 80s, where it's like you go into a VHS rental place and you see all these enticing covers for movies, you know, that were the where the movie art on the cover looks amazing.
And you buy that movie and it's like it's promising so much.
And then like nine times out of 10, it's just incredibly disappointing.
If this is fine, like you guys said, okay, I'm sorry.
I was going to say.
But Lee, I'm sorry.
For Lee, there used to be places called rental shops where you could rent VHS tapes.
No, VHS tapes, you don't realize they were analog, not digital, and you had to rent them.
Because I know I did that on the weekend with my family and friends.
They were made out of plastic.
Thank you for answering VHS for me.
Like you guys said, though, the songs weren't all that great.
You know, they were what they were.
I could see why, how these guys were trying to turn into a stage play, because that's what I was thinking the whole time.
Like, you know, with the proper tweaking, this could become a stage play.
But it definitely needs some work.
I love the fact you live in a world that at four o'clock, you're mandatorily supposed to dance and exercise, no matter what you're doing.
So they're stopping a fire they're trying to put out.
They take the guy off a life support because it's four o'clock and they got to dance for the bim.
You know, I love the fact.
That was probably the one good joke in the film, honestly.
Like I was like, okay, that's like a Monty Python sketch there.
Like there's something going on there that's funny.
A lot of stuff was out of place.
Oh, no, no, that's like the big thing.
And the only thing I really liked was the Oogalo.
Like Vicki said, that kind of was the same grace because his performance was just phenomenal.
Like he was fucking hilarious the whole time.
He was on point from beginning to end.
Like he never lost character even at the end when like they had this such a, like, I don't know, most disappointing ending ever.
Like it was just so drab and like, oh, here, we're just gonna end with a sad song where she comes back and they're gonna see her a year later.
She has a kid, the boyfriend has a beard now and she owes money to Bugalo and God says no.
Oh shit, his face the whole entire time.
Well, this scene was extremely boring to watch.
I was looking for him because he still made the funniest fucking faces.
He was still background acting and he was fucking awesome.
And God's the real shit here.
Just saying, every instance, God's kind of shitty.
But in this movie, he fucking interferes with a legit contract that she had with Bugalo that was doing very well for both of them.
And she skipped out of her contract.
Legally, Bugalo, as head of state basically, has every right to go after her.
It's not like they were beating these hippies or shooting them or anything like that.
They were just like, hey, we're coming to take her away because she didn't live up to her side of the contract.
I'm sorry, a contract is a contract.
Unless she's going to pay out, then she can't get out of the contract.
I'm kind of on the devil's side in this.
He kind of got screwed.
I think the devil's life was a lot more entertaining than the baby making side.
I don't know, if you're supposed to make me turn to God in this movie, I definitely turn to the devil.
Also, what's with this ending where everyone gets raptured?
That's the ending, the good guys get raptured and go to heaven?
What?
It becomes like...
Joss Ackland, Jesus, rolls up in his pimp car out of the clouds and then says, Hey, all are welcome in my pimp car.
I'm waiting for fucking Kevin Sorbo to remake this because it's got a rapture in it.
So it would interest him to fucking...
Let's get the wokeness out of Hollywood.
We'll make the really straight version of The Apple with none of that gay stuff in it.
And we'll rapture all the...
In this case, we'll rapture all the fascists.
The gay stuff was supposed to be bad because that was part of the devil.
All the normal nuclear family shit was...
Oh, yeah, they were all hippies.
They were all hippies, yeah.
So realistically, when you think about the whole movie, they were supposed to be anti-the-gay stuff and anti-the-androgynous stuff and all that stuff, whatever.
And you're supposed to be, yes, man, woman, fall in love, have baby, live in harmony and peace.
Are we going to look past the fact that our male lead, and this gets date-raped basically in this movie?
He gets drugged and raped.
Well, I was going to bring up the plot point there that Alfie's dick can save the world because you know what?
He went into an orgy under false pretense.
He was drugged, yes, but he plowed peony, you know, in the I'm Coming number in the movie.
Not obvious at all.
And she had a change of heart, you know, just by getting some Alfie dick there.
Oh, yeah, that's how it is.
Women just lives are changed by men's penises yet again in another fucking movie.
I still don't know.
Here's the thing, though.
I still don't understand why BB does a face turn all of a sudden and goes back to Alfie just because Pansy.
I dream about him.
That's where it's like really weak, right?
Like that's where it's just like it rushes to an ending that makes no sense because there's no reason.
There's no reason for her to turn.
She's got a good thing going with the with the with Boogaloo and BM music and all that shit.
So it's like and like Andy sucks.
Like he writes bad songs.
He's a bum living on the street now.
He sucks.
I mean, he really doesn't.
He doesn't even have the decency to become a drug.
He grabbed his landlady boobies.
I don't even see the purpose of that.
I don't understand why he did it.
I don't understand why it was in the movie.
Like, why?
Everyone loves Mariam Margolis.
That's why.
It doesn't matter.
You don't just randomly grab a lady's boobies.
She put lavender in her bra like that lady in the movie.
Yes, she smelled so good.
And they were firm.
She does not give consent to grab a person's boobies, even if they smell good.
It does in the dystopian future of The Apple.
I do enjoy how we had a post-apocalyptic kind of dystopian movie.
This is more of a totalitarian.
Well, I mean, technically this, so like the first movie is just post-apocalyptic.
This is technically dystopian because it's like a police state, right?
It's like a totalitarian dystopian.
Yeah, exactly.
That is what I was saying, Lee.
You're so plastic.
Is it really that bad though?
Because Boogaloo really wants to be distracted, but not by much at the fact that, you know, hey, you're going to get some entertainment.
You know what?
You're going to get exercise every day at four o'clock.
So in a way, he's helping with the cardio up.
He's helping them be more outstanding citizens.
That was funny.
Supposed to be a little more docile, enjoying some food.
I mean, I would ask you this, Gary.
Does this society look better or worse than the one in Demolition Man?
And you know how much I dislike Demolition Man and how I thought the politics and that were so fucked up.
Here it seems like, yes, it's kind of a police state, but it's a super soft one.
And it seems like people can kind of just be themselves and do whatever the fuck they want because Boogaloo doesn't seem like he enforces much of anything other than the four o'clock BMI moment or whatever the fuck it is.
IM whatever, BMI, bell moment.
Sure.
I mean, that's part of it.
It's an exercise thing.
You got to keep on that.
But yeah, no, it's just the movie doesn't push into that political stuff to any serious degree.
And it has no need to in the first place.
It feels like that that kind of stuff is written in maybe by by Golden Globus.
And it's just it doesn't match with the rest of it.
Even then, he's not really a villain.
He's kind of like saying, you know, hey, I'm entertaining people and distract them from all this other shit that's going on.
Because even when they move in on the hippies camp, they basically tell them, hey, you've been told before, you can't stay here between this time and this time.
Like any other time, they're welcome to stay there, but go back to your hippie cave, you know, like Jesus Christ Superstar intended.
And, you know, stay there until you come out again, you know.
Another musical that was better than this one.
I'm not even a huge person on the Jesus thing, but I love Jesus Christ Superstar.
It's definitely a better musical.
But, you know, again, I don't want to damn this movie because I feel like it's unfairly shit upon.
I think there's a lot of fun stuff in it.
I think in general, there's so many...
Yeah, but there's so many people in this, like, actually doing their best and, like, really trying.
And, you know, the material's just not there to bring it all together.
But it's a valiant effort, and it's definitely not one of the worst movies of all time.
Like, that's just fucking hyperbole beyond any reasonable fucking take from anybody.
Like, that's a take from people who don't watch a lot of movies.
Because I have seen way fucking worse than this.
There are...
Okay, but there's the argument of, like, way worse and still saying that this one's bad.
Like, I get that there's worse.
I'm just saying, like, I've seen a lot worse, too, but this one's still bad.
But there's enough in this that's fun that I can enjoy.
As a complete package, it doesn't work, but there's still fun stuff, whereas I've seen movies where everything is across the board is fucking terrible.
Would you watch this again?
I would watch this again, yeah.
I would definitely watch this again just to, like, talk on someone else's podcast about it, for sure.
No, without reason.
Just watch it again.
Oh, no, probably not, but I'd say that about, like, 99% of the movies I watch, even if I like them.
So that just throws your theory right out the window, Miss Thing, and take your phone call unprofessionally, live on the air.
I will kick it to the lady and ask her who's not.
I forgot to mention our lead characters are from Boosterhaw, Saskatchewan.
Oh, yeah.
So they're like fucking, they must be fucking some real yokels coming in to play this fucking music festival thing.
Anyway, Lady Lee, what are your final thoughts on this movie, please?
My final move?
Okay, so I didn't like it.
There were like the, like you said, the devil.
He did an amazing job.
He was like the key component to this movie that made it like somewhat entertaining.
But I got to the point where a lot of the songs were so boring that I was like skipping through them because I'm like, oh my fucking God, this song is taking way too long.
I couldn't sit down and watch this from beginning to end without wanting to just go do something else.
It just did not keep me interested.
It did not keep me entertained.
And like I said, it just lacked any sort of like real kind of conflict.
There was no real conflict.
It just seemed like just because it was the devil, he's bad.
I get that it's supposed to be like, oh, well, he's taking over everything.
I'm like, OK, but if everything else is better, then everyone's happy.
I don't see it as being as much of a problem.
Like I really wanted to, you hate him.
You got to hate the bad guy.
But I was rooting for him because he was the only good part of the movie.
Yeah, good.
Mr.
Lee, what do you think, sir?
Like I said, I feel like there's a lot of hyperbole going around that kind of damns this movie right at the gate.
And a lot of people just hear it from its reputation and go, well, I'll skip it.
I'd say watch this one.
I'm not going to tell you it's the greatest movie ever or anything like that because it's definitely not.
Like I said, Phantom of the Paradise, Rock and Rule, both way better versions kind of this to watch.
But if you like that kind of stuff and you kind of want to watch something that has some of those elements and it's still kind of fun.
And there's, like I said, if you're a person who likes going into a movie and finding like fun performances and fun elements and even bad movies, then there's a lot of that stuff in here that you can dig into and have fun, at least for one watch.
I'm not saying this is going to become an all time classic on your shelf or anything like that because it probably won't.
But I think, you know, there's enough in this to give sort of a base recommendation of, hey, this isn't terrible.
This is not the failure that everyone says it is.
It is not.
It's fine.
It's totally fine.
It's totally harmless.
It's fine.
It's just boring.
It's pointless.
There's nothing about it that's giving any excitement or reason to watch it.
All right.
I dug the future clothes.
I dug the Battlestar Galactica fall collection that everyone was wearing.
I like the hippie disco glam concert.
I like a lot of stuff in this.
I like Mr.
Boogaloo.
He's great.
I like that this is set in 1994.
The distant future of 1994.
If this had better leads, I think it would be a whole different story too.
If you had really good lead heroes that could really carry a movie, I think this would be a much different movie.
But they're both not good.
Their characters are bad and they're miscast.
The story is also...
Yeah, this is the thing, right?
There's no story there to like...
And the music's bad.
Some of the music's bad.
Some of it's okay, but there's a lot of bad too.
And it pops up in weird places.
That's the big problem.
But yeah.
And the ending is very meh.
Well, yeah, they have no ending.
I'm still not going to change my opinion as much as you...
You don't have to.
I'm just making sure whoever listens, if they decide to watch, that they had someone who did, and recommended to watch it.
And on the other side, who didn't.
I know what you're doing.
No, I'm just...
You're trying to lead me across the fence to you negatively.
No, you can enjoy it.
I just want to make sure that our listeners, for this episode, have a good understanding of someone who does say watch it, and someone who doesn't.
And they can make their own.
Let's just say this.
This movie was no America 3000.
Thankfully.
Because that was really hard to watch two of those in a row.
Like I said, this is the first time watching me, and it was a good watch.
I will say that as far as like it did what I guess was set out to do, you know, to do those movies you mentioned on a budget.
And it just, it's not as good as other movies.
So if we weren't to mention, you're still watching those.
I still watch those.
I think we covered them all on one show where another rock and roll fan of The Paradise and Tommy at some point in time.
But yeah, the songs were okay.
But like Lee said, the leads, they needed to sell a lot more than they did.
And they really didn't.
But I will say that Captain Mary Stewart found her teeth not long after this.
So she must have really took some acting lessons and perk herself up.
And she would go and make some pretty decent genre stuff.
And I think that Dudes is one of the most underrated things she's ever done.
So maybe I'll come on your show.
We'll do Dudes one time.
I think the lady would enjoy it.
I think she would.
That might be a good idea, yeah.
It's a punk rock western there lately.
Yeah, this is fine.
It's not like what you said.
It's not something to be dumped on automatically because other folks say you should dump on it.
I think you should go check it out for yourself.
And yeah, make your own decision on The Apple because I hear folks saying, you know, comments saying, oh, it's like the best worst movie there ever was.
I can't say that with confidence.
But, you know, as far as like, I want to like, you know, go smoke a blunt or something and share on something random.
I think The Apple Festival, you know.
It's available in many places, though.
Pluto TV for free, though.
I want to watch this for free.
Pluto TV has it for free.
I imagine on demand.
Yeah, there's a there's a site I use a lot called F movies that there's a lot of stuff on there, and that's where I grabbed the apple from.
That's where you got the apple from?
A bite to it?
I did.
I wanted knowledge.
The apple that God didn't want me to have.
I enjoyed that though.
I thought that was fun.
Yeah, the song where they're in hell.
That was good.
I like that one.
And the first song, the coming song, the coming song was fun.
The apple and the first song that had nothing to do with the actual movie, except for like showing or sorry, winning the concert.
You need to calm.
Every movie has like a good thing about it.
So I can't say it's not trash.
Yeah, every movie has one thing.
One thing that I'll compliment.
All right.
She said enough.
She's not running an Amazonian tribe in the future wasteland.
Let's cut this show off, Gary.
Let's get this done.
Thank you, everybody.
Good night.
No, we'll come back.
We'll close out the show.
Hello, this is the Doom Show.
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Wow.
All right, folks.
That's the end of this journey into the Canada Universe.
Not the end.
I'm sure we'll do more of these because there's lots, lots more to choose from.
Thank you guys for coming on.
And I'm not sure what you guys have coming up on.
They Must Be Destroyed On Sight.
If you're not a subscriber, go to your local pod catcher and please hit that subscribe button and check out these two, these two and their bander.
And Daniel sometime comes on the show and he'll leave by himself.
And Lee puts on funky soundtrack playlists, you know, and yeah, all that good shit.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Yeah.
There's a lot of Gary on that show, too.
But sometimes when I can show up, when I say I'm going to show up and then I cancel because, you know, I'm a terrible person, you know, but that's a no.
We missed the two good episodes.
Yeah, no, there's, yeah, true.
But I mean, there's three people right now in this hangout who have had like the worst personal schedules in the like last year and a half or so anyway.
So it's like, you know, shit happens.
We've all we all had stuff going on in my real lives.
I'm actually surprised I get any podcasts out right now.
So my schedule was crazy.
Are you kidding me?
No, I was the easiest to work with.
But I'm hoping to get more content out to you guys at a faster pace because my little buddy, my little brother Lee, I have to mention right now, has a movie that's coming out soon.
He's going to be the killer known as Meathead in a film called Slasher Size.
It's had its premiere this month actually.
So look for that.
That stars him as the killer.
He gets to kill Joe Bob Briggs in Darts and the Mail Girl and Tiffany Shepis is in that movie, getting killed, Felicia Rose.
A lot of horror names you know.
My friend Phil did this job and he worked at a haunted house for like 10 years and he's excited to be in this movie and excited to, he's a bass player.
He's been a bass player for a long time and he may be, may or may not be, and I want to announce that it's for sure the permanent bass player for a band called Bisto Blanco.
If you want to know who that is, that includes Alice Cooper's daughter Calico as the singer in that band.
So go download some Bisto Blanco and enjoy that shit because go support fledgling bands or whatnot too, as well as us.
Oh yeah, if you want to support a cool metal band right now, Castle Rat.
Hey, that sounds amazing.
It's great.
I don't know how good the music is.
It's very good.
It's fucking, it's all D&D kind of stuff.
It's fucking like Black Sabbath meets Coven, or Coven from the 1970s.
Beats Coven.
Yeah.
But no, it's really good.
Hot, hot, redhead female lead singer, which was the immediate draw for me.
But you know, music's really good.
Nice.
Yeah, more content, I hope.
You know, we may or may not be recording a new last call, Tortoises, next week.
This is all going to be released out of order.
Yeah, I have stuff in the can that needs to be edited.
The next week, we're going to record, me and the ladies doing, what do we call it?
Damn.
I forget now.
But it involves undead people in California coastal towns.
We're doing Dead and Buried in another film that I cannot remember the name of right now.
Dead and Buried is one of those movies.
Dead and Buried and, oh, and I'm blanking, but I think I know.
Oh, it's an Italian movie?
I just watched.
I just watched the episode on Bob's Burgers where Tina starts writing her zombie erotic fiction.
It always involves butts.
Okay.
I think that's not how the duplications pass with butts.
I'll figure it later, but it's that movie, another movie that are going to go together and the ladies are very excited to do it and get back together again, do something.
And again, more content for you guys and more personal therapy for myself.
That's all those people, is therapy for myself.
Is it Messiah of Evil you're doing?
Yes, that is the other one.
Two great movies you're doing on that podcast.
Yeah.
But thank you, thank you all for coming on and joining me.
It felt good.
And it's not just the beer talking.
It feels good.
But that is the end.
This has been The Sin of Beef Podcast, where if you've got beef, we've got the grinder.
See you all next time.
Cheers.
Bye.