WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:23.705 Welcome back to Excuse My Grandma. It's Kim and my cohost. Grandma Gail. Grandma, we're talking dating today. Okay. 00:00:23.705 --> 00:00:24.745 As we usually do. 00:00:24.745 --> 00:00:25.385 As we do. 00:00:25.385 --> 00:00:32.900 You've always had advice for me, often unsolicited. One out of 10, how much do you think I have listened to your dating advice? 00:00:33.700 --> 00:00:36.660 Not that much. Maybe maybe 50%. 00:00:37.220 --> 00:00:39.540 50? Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. About half. 00:00:39.540 --> 00:00:54.935 So five. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've always loved having your, like, older, wiser female perspective whether or not I listened. But I think sometimes you just need the male perspective on dating and relationships and not from like dad or Poppy. 00:00:54.935 --> 00:00:56.215 Like from a real expert. 00:00:56.215 --> 00:00:59.175 From a real person? Not your father or your grandfather? 00:00:59.175 --> 00:01:09.680 No. Today's guest is number three time on the podcast. We need that helpful male perspective, and we have questions for him. 00:01:09.680 --> 00:01:11.520 So Very funny guy who we love. 00:01:11.520 --> 00:01:19.865 Yeah. Jared Freid. He also just came out with his book, Walking Red Flag, Dating Advice from Your Favorite Guy Friend, and he's here to help us. 00:01:20.105 --> 00:01:21.785 Out till next week. Well, but this 00:01:21.785 --> 00:01:22.665 is gonna come out next 00:01:22.665 --> 00:01:24.185 week. Okay. Disregard that. 00:01:24.185 --> 00:01:26.665 Okay. Jared, welcome back to 00:01:26.665 --> 00:01:27.145 the It's 00:01:27.145 --> 00:01:33.010 pleasure to be back here. I love hanging out with you guys. First time in person. First time in person. That's the weirdest thing. 00:01:33.010 --> 00:01:37.250 Yeah. Know. Feel like I like, Grandma Gail, I don't know if we've ever been in the same room together. 00:01:37.250 --> 00:01:44.755 No. And I got four years older. So did I. We started out. I mean, we started out a young young young, 00:01:44.755 --> 00:01:46.995 young, old. And now we're We're here. 00:01:46.995 --> 00:01:48.915 We're free. And now we're all snowbird. 00:01:48.915 --> 00:01:50.595 We're away from No. I'm not a snowbird. 00:01:50.595 --> 00:01:51.315 Oh, you fully live? 00:01:51.315 --> 00:01:55.475 I fully live in Delray Beach, Florida. I am So beautiful. Love it. 00:01:55.475 --> 00:01:58.630 Best pizza in the world in Delray. 00:01:58.630 --> 00:02:00.150 Where do you get pizza? I'll tell 00:02:00.150 --> 00:02:03.350 you afterwards because I have to get the name for my daughter. She oh my god. 00:02:03.350 --> 00:02:03.830 We went there. 00:02:04.070 --> 00:02:04.870 Don't know the name. Well, no. 00:02:04.870 --> 00:02:06.470 Because I don't pizza, or is it like a 00:02:06.470 --> 00:02:10.630 pizza Pizza, but in a pizza place. Not fancy one. 00:02:10.630 --> 00:02:12.310 There's one place I'm thinking of maybe 00:02:12.550 --> 00:02:17.325 But on Atlantic Avenue, there's a whole group of there's a Mediterranean restaurant there that's so good. 00:02:17.325 --> 00:02:27.060 Atlantic Avenue, the thing that happens, and you probably know this, grandma Gail and Kim, you probably know this a little bit as well, but Delray Beach is that place where someone up here is like, ugh. It's all old people. 00:02:27.060 --> 00:02:27.700 It's not. 00:02:27.700 --> 00:02:29.940 And then people in Florida go, Ugh, it's too young. 00:02:29.940 --> 00:02:30.900 Too young. So true. 00:02:31.940 --> 00:02:32.340 It's a mix. 00:02:32.340 --> 00:02:43.405 It's a really good mix. I love living there. I love that it's like a cool, kitschy beach town. If you're from the West Coast, it reminds me of Manhattan Beach in LA, where it's like off to the side. It's not Boca. 00:02:43.405 --> 00:02:47.885 It's not West Palm. It is its own weird thing. No. It's great. It's a great town. 00:02:47.885 --> 00:02:56.900 I love being there. I moved about a year ago, June 1. Right. If any IRS tax people ask me. I moved on May 3. 00:02:56.900 --> 00:02:59.700 And we have no taxes down there. We're in a tax free state. 00:02:59.700 --> 00:03:00.660 I Listen. This 00:03:00.660 --> 00:03:02.020 is amazing. It's amazing. 00:03:02.100 --> 00:03:04.500 Into my business. I gotta make sure I can sell this book. 00:03:04.500 --> 00:03:05.540 And That's right. 00:03:05.540 --> 00:03:08.820 So this has been it's been wonderful. My parents live in Boca. 00:03:08.820 --> 00:03:09.140 Right. 00:03:09.140 --> 00:03:15.265 So, like, I could be closer to away. Fifty twenty them? Probably Once a week? Than that. Okay. 00:03:15.265 --> 00:03:16.945 I go for dinner on Mondays when I'm home. 00:03:16.945 --> 00:03:18.865 Gallagher's open there. I haven't got there. 00:03:18.865 --> 00:03:19.825 You haven't gone to Gallagher's? 00:03:19.825 --> 00:03:21.025 No. My her parents would 00:03:21.025 --> 00:03:21.265 But I 00:03:21.585 --> 00:03:22.945 it. I might've. You might've also 00:03:23.105 --> 00:03:23.825 Gallagher's is wonderful. 00:03:23.985 --> 00:03:24.625 Said it was fabulous. 00:03:24.740 --> 00:03:31.700 Wonderful. I mean, shout out to Gallagher's. Right. Rest in peace. My my good friend, Bobby Joe, he used to go there all the time and get us in. 00:03:31.700 --> 00:03:32.660 He would help get us a spot. 00:03:32.660 --> 00:03:34.100 Oh, it's a hard rest. 00:03:34.180 --> 00:03:35.060 The most difficult. 00:03:35.060 --> 00:03:35.940 Very difficult to 00:03:35.940 --> 00:03:36.900 go. I don't think I did go. 00:03:36.900 --> 00:03:39.380 You didn't go. Great steakhouse. Yeah. Yeah. Great. 00:03:39.460 --> 00:03:43.245 Wow. Loved it. Okay. So you're like me. You, like, see your family multiple times. 00:03:43.245 --> 00:03:49.565 Oh, I'm with them all the time now. I can't get enough of them. I I go hang out at the at the club. I go to sushi night. Anytime. 00:03:49.725 --> 00:03:54.925 I can I love it down there? I yeah. They're all characters. They don't know their characters, which is, like, the best type of character. 00:03:55.530 --> 00:03:57.050 The We're best life. 00:03:57.050 --> 00:03:57.370 The best. 00:03:57.610 --> 00:04:12.345 People are in good health. Florida is such a wonderful place because it's almost good weather except for July and August, and then you sort of have to stay in the air conditioning. But you know what? It you go out later in the day and take a walk. Eight to 05:00, it's beautiful. 00:04:12.345 --> 00:04:13.225 Or early in the morning? 00:04:13.225 --> 00:04:18.825 Or early in the morning. Right. My husband says even in the winter, he always goes out before eight, and he's walked all over the place. 00:04:18.825 --> 00:04:23.040 Him and I both. I love it. My dad plays golf before Right. 8AM. Oh, yeah. 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:23.520 Like, he's like 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:24.480 Yeah. He does too. 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:27.200 So I'm very happy in Okay. Good. L. Ray. Good. 00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:29.280 Like coming up here too. Like, this isn't a 00:04:29.440 --> 00:04:31.040 It's fun to visit back and forth. 00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:35.520 Right. I don't love chocolate and hate vanilla. Like, I I love both for different things. 00:04:35.520 --> 00:04:36.320 For different reasons. 00:04:36.635 --> 00:04:37.355 Yeah. And 00:04:37.595 --> 00:04:40.635 And what else has changed last three years? Relationship status? 00:04:40.635 --> 00:04:49.675 I'm I have a girlfriend now. Thank you. I have a girlfriend. She and I were dating years ago and then reconnected. 00:04:49.995 --> 00:04:50.635 An act. Oh. 00:04:50.635 --> 00:04:51.595 Got back together. 00:04:52.130 --> 00:04:56.210 I remember when you said you had a girlfriend for a while there and then something happened. 00:04:56.210 --> 00:04:57.250 Wait. Is that the same per 00:04:57.330 --> 00:05:14.865 I don't know. Might have been. Yeah. Well, I, you know, I get what I would get into were, like especially because there was a point where I was like, and again, this is, like, the whole nature of the book is, like, you're hearing kind of the vulnerabilities of a straight guy, which kinda get we kinda get spoken for. You know? 00:05:14.865 --> 00:05:19.680 Like, you're you're hearing from your dad and grandpa of, like, a male voice, but, like 00:05:20.080 --> 00:05:21.040 It's not your voice. 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:31.285 It's not you know, I'm I'm kind of, like, the the I've always tried to speak for, like, the everyday guy who's, like, does say they wanna be in a relationship, gets to the point and goes, I got a tummy ache. 00:05:31.285 --> 00:05:31.845 I don't know if this 00:05:31.845 --> 00:05:33.765 is it. Treatment And issues. 00:05:33.765 --> 00:05:34.885 Right. And it's like 00:05:35.125 --> 00:05:36.805 But I think that's your generation. 00:05:37.045 --> 00:05:44.980 It's probably generational. I Really do. I think, well, you know, and it's it's just I don't think it's a bad thing. 00:05:44.980 --> 00:05:59.415 No, I don't think it's a bad thing. I think dating has just changed. So I think in the last fifteen, twenty years, people no longer just date and say, all right, I've dated six, three months, and now I'm getting engaged or I'm getting married. Right. It's that on both sides, by by the way. 00:05:59.415 --> 00:06:00.615 I think females as well You would 00:06:00.615 --> 00:06:04.615 have never got back with an ex. And you would have never let me get back 00:06:04.615 --> 00:06:08.295 with an ex. Well, not if the ex was horrible. But yeah. No. 00:06:08.295 --> 00:06:09.175 If they all send 00:06:09.415 --> 00:06:09.815 depended them. 00:06:09.815 --> 00:06:19.160 Yeah. I have to tell you. I think sometimes an ex when you're 24, 25 was probably the right person, but at the wrong time. Yeah. And I think a lot of it is timing. 00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:43.350 If you had met the same person five years later when you're ready to have a permanent relationship, I think now you all are thinking about careers much more than when certainly when I was going out, there were no careers. There were a few people who had became a doctor or lawyer. Mhmm. But most people got married young and had their families before 30. Now most people don't even wanna think about steady relationships till they're in their late twenties or early thirties. 00:06:43.350 --> 00:06:54.295 Right. It's it's it's very difficult. You know, I've been in all places. I've been the young you know, been in my twenties and dating and and and dating. I'd have girlfriends and, you know, hey, maybe this could be it. 00:06:54.295 --> 00:07:16.740 And then it not being And then I was single in my thirties for a lot a large part of it, and I was like, you know, you you start to the problem becomes you get comfortable. You know, you know you can there's a point in your life where you go, Oh, I've got it good. Like, I know I can afford my rent, I can pay my bills, I can live well. I love my family, I love my friends. Why would I mess it up with my partner? 00:07:16.875 --> 00:07:17.915 Why do we complicate? 00:07:17.915 --> 00:07:19.995 Well, that's what I think happened. That's the hardest part. 00:07:19.995 --> 00:07:28.235 You see, that's the hardest part. When we got married, we didn't even we didn't have 2¢ together. Right. But somebody had a job, and you ended up making go of it. You had children. 00:07:28.235 --> 00:07:38.370 You still didn't have any money, but you somehow managed. So I think it's a mindset. And, also, the longer you're single, the harder it is to have a to have a permanent partner. 00:07:38.370 --> 00:07:38.770 Well, the harder 00:07:38.770 --> 00:07:40.690 it Plus, you know, you want certain things out of 00:07:40.690 --> 00:07:56.775 it. Right. You become more set in your way. Right. And and not even badly set in your way, but it's a bad reputation, but, like, you know, I even noticed it myself where I was like, you know, I was like, I guess I have for for me to find a partner, I'd have to find my best friend, so to speak. 00:07:56.775 --> 00:07:57.480 Right. And then you go 00:07:57.640 --> 00:07:58.120 It's not easy. 00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:02.440 I don't even I've never made a new friend in a decade. Right. Well, I'm being delusional. 00:08:02.440 --> 00:08:09.720 Well, that's what I always say to Kim. You can't you can't put the bar so high. It's ridiculous. You have to find someone. I feel like I'm not relating to 00:08:09.720 --> 00:08:16.125 this at all, by the way. Like, I feel like as a girl, mean, or at least I can just speak from my own experience. Woman. Woman. Whatever. 00:08:16.605 --> 00:08:17.405 A woman 00:08:17.405 --> 00:08:22.525 in in the in the entertainment industry. Exactly. Prime of her life doing well. Okay. 00:08:22.685 --> 00:08:38.600 I feel like I or and I see with my friends, like, we're stressed until we find some partner that we can relax. Like, you're saying you're at this, like, relaxed state, and then it would be over complicated. I feel like everyone's over complicating. Like, how do I find someone? And there's this rush. 00:08:38.600 --> 00:08:39.080 And then there's 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:52.545 this Well, that's later on. I think when you're early twenties, don't think about it. As you get closer to your thirties and 35, there's a biological clock for women, which is unlike for men. So that becomes an added pressure for women. Sure. 00:08:52.545 --> 00:08:53.425 That's the 00:08:54.065 --> 00:08:55.185 hard part about dating is 00:08:55.265 --> 00:08:55.505 Right. 00:08:55.560 --> 00:09:08.215 I I think for a lot of women, the the women that I hear from is they're dealing with a a participant that doesn't care. Right. You know, like, I don't care about dating. I don't think most men care. Right. 00:09:08.215 --> 00:09:11.175 They find it fun. That's right. It is an extracurricular activity. 00:09:11.175 --> 00:09:11.655 Exactly. 00:09:11.655 --> 00:09:17.335 I think men do care about relationships. Right. So it's like, it's weird. They don't care about dating, but they do care about relations. Yeah. 00:09:17.335 --> 00:09:27.070 So it's like, those first three months when you're maybe stressing it out, he's having the best time of his life. This this is all in his free time. This is fun. There's no responsibility. Then it's, hey. 00:09:27.070 --> 00:09:28.590 Do you want this to be a responsibility? 00:09:28.590 --> 00:09:29.470 Right. They haven't even 00:09:29.470 --> 00:09:41.085 thought about that until then. Right. So I I I think, you know, a lot of the times I speak for that where I give empathy to that that people don't wanna hear. Right. You know, like it's hard to have empathy for someone that's like having fun. 00:09:42.125 --> 00:09:55.990 Especially, yeah, absolutely, and I can understand it. Well, that's why so many people, you know, when they get married young, don't have all the same issues. Of course, all of a sudden they wake up at 35 and say, Why am I married to this person? That's another criteria. 00:09:55.990 --> 00:10:12.205 Well, that goes both ways, too. I was on a flight to New Zealand to do shows. I'm living my dream. I'm on a first class, live flat seat to New Zealand to do shows for people who know who I am, and I'm turning 40 going, What did I build here? What's this all for? 00:10:12.205 --> 00:10:21.405 Am I happy? Do I like this? I think people do that in all forms of Whatever their they tied onto themselves in their twenties, and then they go, And I think men, forties, they're 30. 00:10:21.710 --> 00:10:24.750 I was just gonna say men are always ten years behind the women. You think 00:10:24.750 --> 00:10:27.390 10? Yeah. Think 40 is 30. Yeah. Like, if Exactly. 00:10:27.390 --> 00:10:31.950 Because you've never seen a bigger birthday party than single woman turning 30. 00:10:31.950 --> 00:10:35.150 Exact well, you know that. Come together. That, Kim. Right. 00:10:35.150 --> 00:10:39.885 Yeah. I put so much I did a tea at the Carlyle, and, grandma, how much I was talking about it for, like 00:10:39.885 --> 00:10:42.845 We all had to wear as you were. And we all had to wear stupid hats. 00:10:42.845 --> 00:10:44.605 Yeah. I saw the TikToks 00:10:44.605 --> 00:10:46.045 and I saw it. I saw 00:10:46.045 --> 00:10:47.245 it. What's it called? Cigarette. 00:10:47.245 --> 00:10:48.125 The cigarette thing. 00:10:48.125 --> 00:10:49.245 The trend with the for 00:10:49.245 --> 00:10:50.020 the cigarette thing thing 00:10:50.020 --> 00:10:52.340 from for my birthday. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. We're caught up. 00:10:52.420 --> 00:10:54.180 The whole thing. It was a disaster. 00:10:54.340 --> 00:11:00.580 Well, that's the thing. Like, a woman turning 30, and Right. She's already also done all these favors for her friends who got married before her. 00:11:00.580 --> 00:11:01.140 So Exactly. 00:11:01.140 --> 00:11:07.295 They all go, we gotta really cut it back. We gotta do this. They they're put they're like, oh, 30. Oh my god. Everyone's gotten married. 00:11:07.295 --> 00:11:12.175 Everyone's gotten engaged. That's To me, when I didn't get married or engaged at 30, no one I didn't care. My parents didn't care. 00:11:12.175 --> 00:11:12.975 The guys don't care. 00:11:12.975 --> 00:11:16.895 You don't care if It's just to be, do I have a career? Right. Do I 00:11:16.895 --> 00:11:18.960 have a Where is my life going? 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:30.640 Right. And I, you know, I was thinking a lot about it even before that. But 40 was definitely a bit of a vibe change. And, you know, it wasn't, you know, it wasn't even that I had to find someone. Was just like 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:33.855 I don't wanna be an old, old father either. Right? By the time 00:11:33.855 --> 00:11:35.855 you're dad I'm already gonna be an old dad. 00:11:35.855 --> 00:11:40.815 But not a real old dad. It's you don't wanna wait till you're 50 and 60 to have a baby. 00:11:40.815 --> 00:11:46.175 Not the ones that are your friends No. That are your kid now. Yeah. You know those people. There's people in Florida that 00:11:46.175 --> 00:11:53.170 you don't know. Oh, yeah. They're old, but not but not the woman there. Was just gonna say that's a third wife coming in there with the big jewelry. Yeah. 00:11:53.170 --> 00:12:05.405 So that's that's a different set of things. A guy can have a baby anytime for the most part. It's the woman who's not after 40, it's very, very hard. So I think it's a it's a different it becomes a different mindset for both sets. 00:12:05.405 --> 00:12:17.630 Well, also, the one thing that's hard for our generation, the younger generation, is my life when I'm older will not reflect the life I have with my parents now. Right. Most likely. 00:12:17.630 --> 00:12:18.510 No, it's It's 00:12:18.510 --> 00:12:21.630 really hard to untether in your brain. 00:12:21.630 --> 00:12:22.990 Because they got married earlier. 00:12:22.990 --> 00:12:29.790 Got married earlier. But even, like, my career why would I think but I do like, my career's a weird career. I go on the road. 00:12:29.790 --> 00:12:31.025 It's already super different. 00:12:31.025 --> 00:12:34.545 It's so different, I still yearn for this thing that I do. 00:12:34.545 --> 00:12:37.105 Solidarity and and, yes, at home. 00:12:37.185 --> 00:12:39.585 Right. How am I gonna have, like, a suburban lifestyle? 00:12:39.585 --> 00:12:42.225 I hope to. But you're already having partial suburban. 00:12:42.225 --> 00:12:42.930 I'm on my way. 00:12:42.930 --> 00:12:43.650 You're on your way. 00:12:43.650 --> 00:12:52.050 So but I was saying, like, I think for a lot of people around that age, you go, you have to untether yourself from, like, here's how I grew up. Does it have to be exactly the same way? 00:12:52.050 --> 00:12:55.330 It shouldn't be, really. I mean, hopefully hopefully, we we You're 00:12:55.330 --> 00:13:00.345 saying that, but I feel like you, I mean, you and mom have very similar 00:13:00.585 --> 00:13:11.065 Well, I think you would've been lucky to have our lives. I don't think it's as easy now to have the life that your mom or I had. We had a very I don't know. I feel that in all respects. Didn't careers. 00:13:12.200 --> 00:13:14.200 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which you have. Yeah. 00:13:14.280 --> 00:13:36.055 So that was and then never came into wanting careers. So we had family and lived through our families. We liked that. But, you know, when you when you say you want a career, that puts an extra pressure, especially for a woman. Men always had a career, and they used to leave the door and go to work and come home and whatever, and the food was on the table and the baby was washed up, and the daddy would kiss him around, and that would be our lives. 00:13:36.055 --> 00:13:41.670 That's different today. Now the men are just as involved in many cases with raising the children. 00:13:41.910 --> 00:14:20.565 But I would argue that the men also still feel the pressure of your value is through could I do what my dad did? It's like that's hard to, again, you have to untether yourself to being helped by your wife when I grew up in a one income household. So I have to go I have to basically you hear about, like, the male loneliness, but it's really a male ego thing. Like, you know, you have to how you build yourself up and how your ego is is is affected, it's really not fair to do to yourself, like, oh, I'm gonna like, I to me, when I was looking to date and marry, and part of my thought process wasn't, oh, well, this other earner's gonna come in the house. That was never 00:14:20.565 --> 00:14:24.805 my thought. Hopefully, that's the case because that never Right. Hopefully. 00:14:24.805 --> 00:14:25.845 But that's okay. But if 00:14:25.845 --> 00:14:40.240 that if that really is the case, it's never gonna work. If if by any chance the the woman brings in the income too or the man, then you share things fine, but it better not be based on that because that'll be because what happens if one loses their job? 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:48.575 Totally. Well, if anyone Disaster. That's a person dating desperately. You know? Like, if anyone did that, I hope this other income comes in and makes up so I can live the lifestyle. 00:14:48.575 --> 00:14:49.455 Exactly. But 00:14:49.455 --> 00:15:02.350 I so I never had that thought of, like so which is good, but also, like, that puts pressure on it. Like, especially when you're trying to figure out your own life, and then how do you bring someone in? Am I ready for the responsibility of someone else? 00:15:02.350 --> 00:15:05.070 You have to finally just put your foot in and say I'm gonna do it. 00:15:05.070 --> 00:15:06.830 But I wanna ask you something. 00:15:06.990 --> 00:15:08.510 Is your girlfriend work? 00:15:08.990 --> 00:15:10.030 No. She does nothing. 00:15:10.030 --> 00:15:14.115 No. I Don't say that. I'm sure she's fashion. 00:15:14.115 --> 00:15:16.195 No. She's amazing. She does wealth management. She's got 00:15:16.195 --> 00:15:20.115 a promotion. So she's doing her own thing. She's doing her own thing. 00:15:20.115 --> 00:15:24.835 She was living so I we were dated, and I could never get over this, like, three month hump. 00:15:25.150 --> 00:15:25.470 Okay. 00:15:25.470 --> 00:15:29.150 And I don't know. You know, a mix of not ready and not right and all those things. 00:15:29.150 --> 00:15:31.630 Probably wasn't then. Now, and hopefully it is. 00:15:31.630 --> 00:15:41.975 She came back into my life, and I had been thinking about her. It was kind of this weird Right. You know, a, know, cosmic thing, and now we've been dating, it's been 00:15:41.975 --> 00:15:43.655 pretty Now does she also live in Florida? 00:15:43.655 --> 00:15:46.455 So she's gonna move down. Perfect. Yeah. So I'm excited she's move 00:15:46.455 --> 00:15:47.255 That's perfect. 00:15:47.335 --> 00:15:49.655 Perfect. Yeah, I'm excited for all 00:15:49.890 --> 00:15:52.610 I also feel like now just do it. 00:15:52.610 --> 00:15:54.370 Now just do it. That's right. Now you 00:15:54.370 --> 00:16:00.850 can't sit and wait for four years till you decide if you like the oatmeal together. Just get the goddamn ring on her finger and 00:16:00.850 --> 00:16:08.375 just go on, go ahead. I'm with you. I I think that I knew that when I found someone that I was I wanted to be excited about it. I think most people wanna be excited 00:16:08.375 --> 00:16:09.255 about sure. That's true. 00:16:09.255 --> 00:16:09.815 Days of life. 00:16:09.815 --> 00:16:10.375 Like That's true. 00:16:10.455 --> 00:16:14.935 Nothing is worse to me than, like, you'd have that friend that's like, well, I guess we get married now. Right. No. 00:16:14.935 --> 00:16:17.770 That's scary. To think that that could be your future. 00:16:17.770 --> 00:16:22.170 Oh my god. And you hear it all the time. You have someone make a comment like that. You're like, I don't wanna make that comment. 00:16:22.170 --> 00:16:28.730 No. Yeah. No. I'm so glad. I had that similar experience where I feel like I was putting distance 00:16:29.130 --> 00:16:29.290 or 00:16:29.290 --> 00:16:51.640 not putting distance, my relationship literally was long distance until two months ago when we moved in together. And it was just easier to kind of commit that way to be like, okay, I can still have my independence. But then also there's this relationship that's going on and I could put thought toward it when we're in the same place. And then eventually, you get comfortable with that, and, like, now it's full. 00:16:51.640 --> 00:17:04.415 But like grandma Gail's saying, at a certain point, you have you know, relationships are like this this this, you know, smoothie. Sponge. It's a well, sponge it's like a smoothie of, like, logical and logical. Like, have to be a little romantic. You gotta be a Yeah. 00:17:04.415 --> 00:17:04.655 Little bit 00:17:04.895 --> 00:17:07.215 Yeah. Yeah. Logically. You gotta figure it out. 00:17:07.295 --> 00:17:12.495 But you right. And so, like, for you moving, he had to move across the country. Right? Yeah. Move across the country. 00:17:12.495 --> 00:17:17.370 That's it. Someone go, what? The the facts don't make sense. Then it's like, but we have to be crazy. Yeah. 00:17:17.370 --> 00:17:18.890 You know, we gotta be crazy at some point. 00:17:18.890 --> 00:17:20.810 Okay. So I feel like you've done a lot of reflection 00:17:21.050 --> 00:17:21.290 Okay. 00:17:21.370 --> 00:17:25.850 When we're having these conversations. Like, do you think you put that into the book? 00:17:26.250 --> 00:17:34.705 Oh, it's all reflection. So what happened was I got asked to write a book. I've never read read a book, I and was asked to write a book. Okay. The special came out. 00:17:34.705 --> 00:17:39.825 They're like, you're a guy talking about dating. It's kinda hard to find straight men. 00:17:39.825 --> 00:17:42.625 Tell everybody who doesn't know about this your specials were on. 00:17:42.625 --> 00:17:43.265 We talked about it on our 00:17:43.265 --> 00:17:44.065 last episode. 00:17:44.065 --> 00:17:46.065 You guys were very nice. Thank you so much for 00:17:46.065 --> 00:17:47.890 saying that today. Anything. I 00:17:48.450 --> 00:17:57.330 have a news special coming out. It's called the family plan. It's coming on Netflix, and it's all about going to beach with my parents. Is, like, the workout for a lot of stuff. They'll love it. 00:17:57.330 --> 00:18:29.125 It's all about my parents and me and our relationship, and my dad asked me how much I weighed while we were at the beach in Delray, and it's all about that. And it's coming out of Netflix in the fall. So the book is kind of just this different thing that came along, and I was asked to write it. You know, what the way it worked out, I had a ghostwriter, which thank goodness. And Taylor and I, she's a comic, and I was like, I need a woman who's a comic who who's like, need someone funny, comic, write she writes for John Oliver. 00:18:29.125 --> 00:18:31.605 Like, there's nobody smarter in the world than the writers for John Oliver. 00:18:31.605 --> 00:18:32.405 Right. Okay. 00:18:32.405 --> 00:18:44.140 And Taylor and I, I basically told her, was like, send me an we did the the Get me illiterate. Write it. Go ahead. See you. I'll see I had an outline made, and that with the book, you have to make this very thorough outline. 00:18:44.140 --> 00:18:52.700 So you have, like, every chapter spelled out. Right. And I go, here's the outline. Send me an email every night asking me a question, because I'm really good at answering questions, and maybe you'll open up doors in my brain. K. 00:18:52.700 --> 00:18:56.415 She kept asking me these questions, and I had stories for everything. Okay. 00:18:56.415 --> 00:18:57.935 I just remembered stories. 00:18:57.935 --> 00:19:05.295 Yeah. It was just like, oh, did you ever meet someone's friends? What was it like to get brought as a date to a wedding? Right. What made you wanna date someone on a All 00:19:05.295 --> 00:19:07.250 the single questions that people have. 00:19:07.250 --> 00:19:19.570 All of them. And I had personal stories for everything. And it's different than stand up because stand up, you want an immediate reaction. So I'd be sitting in coffee shops doing it on my phone. I wrote the whole thing on my phone. 00:19:19.570 --> 00:19:38.560 In an email every morning just being like and crying, like, having these, like rethinking these stories. It turned out that I had, like you know, so then my girlfriend and I, when we reconnected Right. I was like, oh, also she goes she knew about the book way back when. She goes, is it happening? She goes, I go, actually, you're, like, in the book. 00:19:38.560 --> 00:19:44.560 Uh-oh. Uh-oh. And you're right. Imagine how she felt. And she they were stories about things that I look back on. 00:19:44.560 --> 00:20:03.565 Like, when I tell people, like, I you know, my story, your story, our stories aren't ones to, like I can't tell someone to find the same thing. I can't say, you can't repeat my story with my girlfriend for yourself. Right. But I would say, look. If you wanna repeat, you have to ask a guy you dated to go write a book about dating, and then maybe he'll be a better boyfriend. 00:20:03.565 --> 00:20:05.325 Like, I I don't know. I feel like I'm in my second marriage. 00:20:05.580 --> 00:20:09.420 Just ideas. It's ideas of how different people date and perceive things. 00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:34.420 Right. And I think what the book is is you're gonna find out perspective. You're gonna well, you're also gonna hear a guy speak honestly, vulnerably, and it's not and I think for people, you're not gonna I think what I hope people get from it is they're gonna laugh because that was my only goal is, like, make me you know, mess around with a topic like dating. Mhmm. But, also, what I've got the feedback I've gotten is, like, you can be a more confident dater because it's, like, you're gonna realize it doesn't matter. 00:20:34.820 --> 00:20:45.780 The guy on the other side isn't thinking that deeply, he's not thinking about you. It's not personal. Right. You gotta do your own work. You gotta be your own best self, and you gotta be okay losing And 00:20:45.780 --> 00:20:48.420 when you are your best self, then you usually find the best partner. 00:20:48.545 --> 00:20:52.705 Totally. And I'm so really a believer. Is all personal stories. It's all fun. It's That'd 00:20:52.705 --> 00:20:53.185 be great. 00:20:53.185 --> 00:20:56.385 I'm excited about it. It's it's yeah. You can buy it wherever you wanna buy it. But I 00:20:56.385 --> 00:20:57.825 did the audiobook. It's coming out. 00:20:57.825 --> 00:21:06.520 It's coming out June 9, so you can get the audiobook. You can get it, like, right now. You can go on audio Kindle, the Kindle. I did the audiobook, so you can if you love this voice. 00:21:06.600 --> 00:21:11.640 I love it. So are you the walking red flag, or you're warning women about other walkways? 00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:12.600 I'm the walking red flag. 00:21:12.600 --> 00:21:13.320 It wouldn't 00:21:13.320 --> 00:21:22.165 work. This is the problem with most male dating advice. It's them talking shit about other men without saying that it's stuff 00:21:22.165 --> 00:21:22.485 that you 00:21:22.485 --> 00:21:23.605 do. It's really 00:21:23.845 --> 00:21:37.070 all good everybody's husband that has a beautiful Instagram caption that talks about how wonderful they are, There's another woman out there going, he ain't shit. That sucked. Right. He ghosted me. He was a loser. 00:21:37.070 --> 00:21:47.725 He couldn't do anything for me. That is something for that that that's the most relatable thing in the world. If I can't say that I'm not a red flag to someone, but, like, these are all, like, reflections on 00:21:47.725 --> 00:21:47.885 Yeah. 00:21:47.965 --> 00:21:51.645 Why I would do things as a red flag, why I avoided people. 00:21:51.805 --> 00:21:52.845 Right. It wasn't because I 00:21:52.845 --> 00:21:59.550 didn't like them. You know? It wasn't because I didn't wanna date them or date someone like them. Mhmm. It was me going through my own thing. 00:21:59.550 --> 00:22:00.270 Your own stuff. 00:22:00.270 --> 00:22:00.910 You know? Right. 00:22:00.910 --> 00:22:04.030 Grandma, would you take advice from a man who said he was a walking red flag? 00:22:04.110 --> 00:22:20.295 I think it would be interesting to read it and get their perspective. Yeah. Because I always love to hear what the man's male side because, you know, in the days of when I was young, not even dating, but even younger, the men wouldn't talk that much about their failings. You know? It wasn't macho enough. 00:22:20.295 --> 00:22:20.935 Right. 00:22:21.255 --> 00:22:34.930 You know? And so I think what's good about today, one of the few things that I think have changed now is that men and women are much more open about their relationships and about their feelings about relationships. Know, we went in there blind. 00:22:35.010 --> 00:22:40.210 I also I have never said that I I think the one thing that I've never said I'm not an expert. 00:22:40.935 --> 00:22:47.975 No. We all say that. We're not psychologists or psychiatrists either. This is our take on. 00:22:47.975 --> 00:22:55.020 Well, that's why when I do the book and when I talk on a dating podcast, when we talk about dating, I just say how I feel. 00:22:55.020 --> 00:22:56.380 I'm telling 00:22:56.460 --> 00:23:11.585 at can tell you how I would do things. The way I set up the book is, like, I'm not that extraordinary. Bell curve exists. We're all within 10% of each other, so if I'm feeling 00:23:11.585 --> 00:23:13.825 a certain way I'm sure other people are as well. 00:23:13.825 --> 00:23:18.465 He's not a 100% different than me. Maybe he's 10. Right. Yeah. At a maximum. 00:23:18.465 --> 00:23:19.025 I agree. 00:23:19.025 --> 00:23:25.370 So I I think that's, like, when it comes to, like, would you take advice? I'm not asking for anyone to take advice. 00:23:25.370 --> 00:23:25.850 Yeah. Yeah. 00:23:25.850 --> 00:23:40.605 I'm asking them for to listen to a perspective that might inform them to feel better about maybe sending the text they wouldn't have sent, making a dating profile that's a little bit more them than it would have been. Right? You know? 00:23:40.605 --> 00:23:47.405 Exactly. Yeah. Well, that's what we do for the post. We give our we give our advice. Tell them right off the the top. 00:23:47.405 --> 00:23:50.780 Right. We're not doctors. We're not psychologists. This is our take 00:23:50.780 --> 00:24:02.140 When on our you listen to other people and how they would, I guess, go through an experience, it does help you figure out whether they agree with you or not. 00:24:02.140 --> 00:24:10.035 I have people calling me all the time for advice. I do. But I think and I love that. It helps support their It's another voice. 00:24:10.035 --> 00:24:10.675 Yeah. That's what 00:24:10.675 --> 00:24:18.915 he's saying. Think also, especially for a podcast, like, defend, like, a dating podcast like this one. Right. Because it's easy to be like, what do they know? That's the easiest thing in the world. 00:24:18.915 --> 00:24:36.605 That's like a miserable person. Yeah. But to say someone can write an email where they can get it out of their system, and then here are three people who have no bias towards them. We only know what they wrote. We only know you know, it's hard to talk to a friend and then not think of the friend you know and also 00:24:36.605 --> 00:24:39.085 parents and and they know where they're coming from and all that. 00:24:39.085 --> 00:24:46.525 Totally. And it's hard also for the person to take your mixes and looking at you going Right. What the hell do you know? I saw you passed out on a fraternity floor once. 00:24:46.525 --> 00:24:47.965 Oh, that's that's right. 00:24:47.965 --> 00:24:54.480 That's exactly right. Yeah. Well, also, I I know you talk about in the book, like, that dating is crazy right now. 00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:55.040 Right. 00:24:55.040 --> 00:24:56.000 Why do you think it is 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:56.960 so There's 00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:05.855 a lot of noise. You know, dating's crazy because there's a lot you know, you can date so many different like, grandma Gail, like, when you dated 00:25:05.855 --> 00:25:08.895 No. We date we dated, but it was nothing we didn't have sex. 00:25:08.895 --> 00:25:09.935 If someone also That's 00:25:09.935 --> 00:25:12.335 a very big difference in the dating composition now. 00:25:12.335 --> 00:25:16.095 But wouldn't you also say that, like, your dating was word-of-mouth? Mhmm. 00:25:16.095 --> 00:25:35.135 You know? We met we didn't go we didn't work naturally, we didn't have apps, but we we dated within a small group of friends. We dated either within the church, the synagogue, your high school, your college, and that's who you knew and that's who you so you didn't stray that far out unless you went to a university or a college that was in a different location. 00:25:35.135 --> 00:25:37.135 And the way you communicated was either 00:25:37.135 --> 00:25:39.055 in person or on the phone. On the phone. 00:25:39.055 --> 00:25:44.655 Two choices. Now you can communicate Exactly. Instagram, Snapchat And the dating app, text. 00:25:44.655 --> 00:25:46.335 And they can make up such stories. 00:25:46.335 --> 00:26:00.480 Right. And and everyone writes stories about themselves. People write scripts that they would like to be, right? Like, oh, I get to be this tough talking awesome person over text, but then you have to cash that check. So I think that's the crazy part. 00:26:01.195 --> 00:26:02.315 It's different. It's And 00:26:02.315 --> 00:26:09.995 very I looking at someone's Instagram story, and they're like, Why didn't they tell me they were at this place? And why aren't they texting me? And he watched my age. 00:26:09.995 --> 00:26:28.210 Don't go that far. You know, it was really This is a much more prolonged You guys dated for many, many more months and years than we would've done. We just wouldn't have done it. It wasn't the norm. So until the 80s, this was not We can't even have a conversation about dating prior to the 80s because that was a different thing. 00:26:28.210 --> 00:26:37.015 You dated to get married, or you dated to have a partner, and if you were not getting married. Sorry to interrupt, because 00:26:37.015 --> 00:26:44.775 even a big difference is, like I saw dating is too expensive for people. The idea that dating could be like 00:26:44.960 --> 00:26:45.680 A pizza. 00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:52.880 Well, right. Dating is is is right. It's not dating used to be considered, I would think, as a normal good. Like, a But 00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:58.480 we used go to a movie. We used to go to a movie for a dollar or whatever. Was an episode and share popcorn. 00:26:58.480 --> 00:26:58.800 Right. 00:26:58.800 --> 00:27:01.165 But now that's very different. And the thing is, 00:27:01.165 --> 00:27:05.165 but even beyond that, dating was a survival technique. Yes. 00:27:05.325 --> 00:27:09.165 Well, was no. The technique was to get married and have children. 00:27:09.165 --> 00:27:09.325 Right. 00:27:09.325 --> 00:27:10.125 There was no question 00:27:10.125 --> 00:27:18.270 And there was that that's something wrong with you if you didn't. But now it's like, you think of like the Alex Earle is single, she's having a problem. And she's like, score the 00:27:18.270 --> 00:27:22.750 intensity festival. That's very atypical. No. It's not like people still I don't believe that. 00:27:22.750 --> 00:27:31.485 But I I was single for a long time. I don't consider myself as, like, having a problem. But you would have been like, oh, she's been single for five years. What's wrong with her? 00:27:31.805 --> 00:27:33.645 Well, a lot of people might think that. Yeah. 00:27:33.645 --> 00:27:36.045 Yeah. I I think that's also something women do to 00:27:36.045 --> 00:27:38.445 each other. I think women are more likely to do it than for men. 00:27:38.445 --> 00:27:44.060 Right. I would never if someone said that you know, the idea that if I dated someone and they haven't had like, I hear that all the time. 00:27:44.060 --> 00:27:44.460 Interesting. 00:27:44.460 --> 00:27:47.580 Oh, I've been single for five years. What will a guy think? Nothing. 00:27:47.580 --> 00:27:49.420 Nothing. Nothing. Do they 00:27:49.420 --> 00:27:50.460 think you're hot? That's all that matters. 00:27:50.460 --> 00:27:51.500 Right. Guys don't go on 00:27:51.500 --> 00:27:56.125 dates with women they're not attracted to. Right. First and foremost. Right. So it's like, am I attracted? 00:27:56.125 --> 00:27:57.085 Then the rest matters. 00:27:57.085 --> 00:27:58.525 So everybody is attracted to things. 00:27:58.525 --> 00:28:00.205 Treat each other better. Jesus. 00:28:00.205 --> 00:28:10.260 I think everybody's attracted to different things. So that's it's not necessarily on first sight, it may be physical, but then I think it's maybe somebody who makes you laugh, somebody that you enjoy But 00:28:10.260 --> 00:28:13.620 no man's gonna go on a date with a woman that he's not attracted to physically. Correct. Like, that's 00:28:13.620 --> 00:28:14.420 just way or the other. 00:28:14.420 --> 00:28:17.380 Right. I I I think you started that, and then you go, and she's fun. 00:28:17.380 --> 00:28:19.540 And she's fun. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. 00:28:19.540 --> 00:28:22.420 And she's funny. Oh my And she's got a cool personality. Right. 00:28:22.420 --> 00:28:24.535 Oh, not first date. I absolutely agree. 00:28:24.535 --> 00:28:29.255 That can be seen as a negative, or it can be seen as a positive. For women, you're on a date with a guy who's attracted you. Right. 00:28:29.255 --> 00:28:33.415 Right. Well, that's why women spend so much time getting ready for a first date. Care about this. 00:28:33.415 --> 00:28:39.540 Yeah. They don't even need to, though. If you met on the app, he already knows. Men see women like bees do. Mhmm. 00:28:39.540 --> 00:28:43.700 I I just see the outline of a woman. I just go, okay. I get the gist. 00:28:43.700 --> 00:28:45.620 She looks good. She looks good. Right. 00:28:45.620 --> 00:28:48.900 And I think girls will go on dates with guys they find unattractive. 00:28:48.900 --> 00:28:52.015 Of course. Because they're checking off so many other things. 00:28:52.015 --> 00:28:58.015 Yeah. Checking off the bank account. If they he's head of a company, hype you that would be first on my list. 00:28:58.015 --> 00:28:59.775 I know it's first on your list. 00:28:59.775 --> 00:29:01.535 First on my First on my list. 00:29:01.535 --> 00:29:15.130 What is you know? Oh, all those things. Will I get you know, attraction is just I mean, honestly, like, I don't know. Do you know? I the the idea that I I think that's, like, you know, a good thing for to be warned about. 00:29:15.130 --> 00:29:20.295 Right. A good for a woman, like, you're on a date. He knows he's attracted you. That's the only thing he knows. Right. 00:29:20.295 --> 00:29:26.295 I think for a lot of guys, I think it would be you know, well, of course, she thinks I'm hot. No. No. She doesn't. Your mom thinks you're handsome. 00:29:26.295 --> 00:29:26.855 Exactly. 00:29:27.175 --> 00:29:41.890 You know? Like I also feel like on the dating app topic, like, it's obviously supposed to make dating, like, easier and better for a lot of people. I don't I haven't been on them in a while, but, like, I feel like it made everyone kind of worse at dating generally. That's just my opinion. As popular. 00:29:41.890 --> 00:29:48.475 That Well, I don't know if that's, like Oh. Is that true? Yeah. Like, because I feel like guys will I was never approached at a bar. Like 00:29:48.795 --> 00:29:52.555 Right. Well, it's if you have the crutch, you use it. Right. You know, 00:29:52.555 --> 00:29:52.795 it's Even like 00:29:52.955 --> 00:29:53.595 if you need it. 00:29:53.595 --> 00:29:57.410 Well, even if you don't need it. I've been at bars while I At the bar. 00:29:57.410 --> 00:29:58.690 But now we're talking about the apps. 00:29:58.690 --> 00:30:03.010 No. But I am talking about the apps. Oh. I've been at a bar Yeah. While on a dating app. 00:30:03.010 --> 00:30:03.890 Isn't that crazy? 00:30:03.890 --> 00:30:05.330 Yeah. Dinner. I just yeah. 00:30:05.330 --> 00:30:09.970 At the thing that I should be going and meeting people Yeah. Using the dating app. 00:30:09.970 --> 00:30:10.290 Yeah. 00:30:10.290 --> 00:30:15.755 And and and I'm saying, you might go, well, that's crazy. I'm 10% away from most guys. 00:30:15.755 --> 00:30:16.075 Right. 00:30:16.075 --> 00:30:19.355 But is it because you're afraid or just, like, easier? 00:30:19.675 --> 00:30:22.715 These apps were created by male nerds 00:30:22.795 --> 00:30:23.195 Right. 00:30:23.195 --> 00:30:24.475 Who couldn't talk to women 00:30:24.715 --> 00:30:25.115 That's true. 00:30:25.115 --> 00:30:33.410 To as a solution. So if you think of, Mark Zuckerberg, okay, wasn't going up to women in bars and, hey, toots, how you doing No. 00:30:33.410 --> 00:30:35.890 He married his college sweetheart. Right. 00:30:35.890 --> 00:30:46.915 He created He's doing an app with her. He created Correct. A hammer to fix a hammer problem he had. Uh-huh. So it's low personality guys who can't go up to women Right. 00:30:46.915 --> 00:30:55.140 Created an app to fix their problem. Mhmm. And now people with personalities, people with ability on it. They use them too because Yeah. 00:30:55.140 --> 00:31:06.985 Older women need it. I I would say for an older generation, more so than even for the 20, 30, and 40 year olds, for the 60 and 70 and 80 people who really want a companion again. Yeah. They're going on it. That I know for sure. 00:31:06.985 --> 00:31:07.785 Yeah. I know that too. 00:31:07.785 --> 00:31:11.465 I know that Florida, there's a very busy activity of 70 and 80 year old 00:31:11.465 --> 00:31:12.265 with Oh, they're going 00:31:12.425 --> 00:31:24.860 widows, and and they're lonely. And what and and they're not dating, you know, coup they're not cougars, but they're dating men actually the same age or even a little older. Totally. And they are looking for because people can't connect. They don't have a way to 00:31:24.860 --> 00:31:27.820 How do find it in? Exactly. Right. You find it through word-of-mouth. 00:31:27.820 --> 00:31:28.220 That's good thing. 00:31:28.220 --> 00:31:34.485 Which is the problem with dating apps. It's, it's not a dating apps is just more, It's not better. It's just more. 00:31:34.485 --> 00:31:35.765 It's just another facet. 00:31:36.245 --> 00:31:51.700 The problem people have is they get so involved with dating apps that they forget about the other things and then they go, Well, that's harder. Dating apps are you know, putting sweet and low in your coffee. It's just more. It tastes sweeter. Then you go out to a bar, you don't talk to anyone. 00:31:51.700 --> 00:31:58.985 You go, well, I'm a failure. No. Compared to the dating apps, you're a failure because you can meet 30,000,000,000 people. In a bar, you have one shot. Exactly. 00:31:58.985 --> 00:32:04.185 Like, these women that are living in Florida that are looking companionship, they might have one friend who has a friend. 00:32:04.185 --> 00:32:04.825 Friend. That's not 00:32:04.905 --> 00:32:06.585 it's not easy. To open up my world. 00:32:06.585 --> 00:32:12.440 That's why you go to the restaurants down there, and there are a whole bunch of women going out. Hop. And the bars are all busy with their 00:32:12.440 --> 00:32:15.960 own and tell you about, like, their night? Well, some of 00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:20.360 them, though. Some of the women I've discussed it with. Then, you know, it's and it's worked with a couple of my friends. 00:32:20.360 --> 00:32:21.720 You know, I was in 00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:23.320 their late sixties and early seventies. 00:32:23.320 --> 00:32:24.600 And they say they met someone at the bar. 00:32:25.025 --> 00:32:29.585 I didn't ask them. They met in a restaurant. I don't ask exactly. You know, you're, like, too particular. 00:32:29.585 --> 00:32:30.785 I don't want the story. 00:32:30.785 --> 00:32:32.385 No. I don't know. Go to the next 00:32:32.465 --> 00:32:34.385 bar when they you know, the meeting in a bar thing 00:32:34.545 --> 00:32:35.905 That, think, is for 20 year 00:32:35.905 --> 00:32:39.425 old. People don't go up to people in bars. Exactly. I think it's, like, overblown. 00:32:39.425 --> 00:32:39.665 Exactly. 00:32:39.665 --> 00:32:47.480 I I do think that is, like, based on, you know, one going out at night and One romcom. 00:32:47.480 --> 00:32:48.920 One romcom movie. 00:32:48.920 --> 00:33:12.940 It it it I I've been my summer dating challenge, if I was, like, a single woman right now and I was to, like, do something to improve my life, I would make plans with 12 of my friends to go on one walk a week. Right. And then when you go on that walk, invite their spouse. Oh. Because everyone complains that my friends' spouses don't fix me up, but they've never hung out with their friend's spouse. 00:33:12.940 --> 00:33:13.260 Right. 00:33:13.260 --> 00:33:15.180 Why would they fix someone up they don't know? 00:33:15.180 --> 00:33:15.900 That's so fair. 00:33:15.900 --> 00:33:29.095 And here's the best you're gonna get. And I'm speaking for men, so I don't know what the women will do, but I will say, you're the male spouse, the husband, your boyfriend, the best you'll get out of him is, yeah, she's cool. Right. She's cool. Yeah. 00:33:29.095 --> 00:33:37.895 I'd go out with her. She's hot. I'd go out with her. That's all you want. You wanna be the first name your friends think of when they think of single woman. 00:33:37.895 --> 00:33:42.420 Right. Mhmm. Not in a bad way. They want and and then what's their association with? It's like Coca Cola. 00:33:42.420 --> 00:33:51.460 Why does Coca Cola have commercials? Because they wanna be the first drink you think of when you're thirsty. Right. So when your friends think of single person that's fun, they don't wanna be single person that's miserable. 00:33:51.865 --> 00:33:56.185 Oh, yeah. Right. Because those both have Everybody's miserable. That's right. They don't want more misery. 00:33:56.185 --> 00:34:00.425 Right. So I think if you're gonna do anything this summer, you have twelve weeks 00:34:00.585 --> 00:34:00.825 Right. 00:34:00.825 --> 00:34:03.545 12 friends, 12 walks, 5,000 steps. 00:34:03.800 --> 00:34:05.560 I love that plan. That's okay. I love that plan. 00:34:05.560 --> 00:34:05.960 Very nice. 00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:12.760 Do you have, like, a note in your phone of single people to set up or, like, a mental note? No. So do you never set people up? 00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:14.920 I've set people up. I have two I have two friends. 00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:16.520 Nobody's as organized as you guys. 00:34:16.520 --> 00:34:17.240 I'm I'm very tight. 00:34:17.445 --> 00:34:21.685 Right. Well, this is the thing. Most though, women have a list of all the bars they wanna go 00:34:21.685 --> 00:34:22.085 to Yeah. 00:34:22.085 --> 00:34:22.325 Yeah. Yeah. 00:34:22.405 --> 00:34:30.850 Of all the friends they wanna fix up. I'm just saying a lot of the like, I think a single woman's best friend is their friend's husband. Husband. And they don't even and 00:34:30.850 --> 00:34:33.890 they best friend their friend's husband. Okay. 00:34:33.890 --> 00:34:37.890 And they don't use it because they go, well, they haven't thought of me. Why would we think of you? 00:34:37.890 --> 00:34:40.290 Right. Why would we marry I've been thinking of a job and 00:34:40.290 --> 00:34:41.330 big today. Right. 00:34:41.330 --> 00:34:41.890 Give a fuck about 00:34:41.890 --> 00:34:45.135 you. Interesting. They have a friend that you'll be on their first 00:34:45.135 --> 00:34:52.175 If the friend if a guy ever opened up to a guy and was like, yeah. I'm single, and I'm just kinda out there dating. The datings are tough. 00:34:52.175 --> 00:34:56.015 Oh, Kim. Got a girl. Exactly. I got a girl for you. 00:34:56.015 --> 00:35:05.230 That's the best you're gonna get out of that guy. So why not have fun with friends? Why not get to know the guy that they love? They should you should get along with them if you get along with your friend. Yeah. 00:35:05.230 --> 00:35:18.785 There's a lot of shit talking about the husbands of. Right. And I think that is the key to every single woman's problem. And they're avoiding that person because they don't want the embarrassment. They don't wanna get asked how to go with that person. 00:35:18.785 --> 00:35:19.905 I like the follow-up. 00:35:19.905 --> 00:35:25.345 More risk, more reward. Right. Yeah. There's no risk on a dating app. That's why there's little reward. 00:35:25.345 --> 00:35:32.180 Yeah. I don't think it's embarrassing to, like, ask your friend's husband, do you have anyone to set me up with? 00:35:32.180 --> 00:35:34.580 But that's a question that never gets a good answer. 00:35:34.580 --> 00:35:34.820 Right. 00:35:34.820 --> 00:35:35.460 Because he's gonna be like, 00:35:35.460 --> 00:35:35.780 I don't know. 00:35:35.780 --> 00:35:36.500 He's gonna go, I don't know. 00:35:36.500 --> 00:35:36.900 I don't know. 00:35:36.900 --> 00:35:41.845 You I think it's a better strategy is have fun with your friend's husband and be the wonderful person 00:35:41.845 --> 00:35:42.245