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Hi and welcome to another episode of the Crucible Conversations for the Curious.

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This episode we are talking to Juliana.

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This is a trigger warning because this conversation is hard.

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We talk about rape, we talk about sexual abuse, we talk about violence and we talk about
people trafficking.

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And at the end she tells us of her story of how she overcame it, how she made sense of
things.

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It is a remarkable story.

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It is an uncomfortable story.

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If you have been triggered by anything in this podcast,

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there is all sorts of information and helpful links at the end of this recording.

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Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of The Crucible.

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Now we've got something rather special for you today.

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Juliana is one of these remarkable people who has faced life on life's terms and she has
got a beautiful story.

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Sit down, hold on because it's quite a roller coaster.

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Juliana, thank you for turning up today.

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Thank you Hamish for inviting me.

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Thank you so much.

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Let's leap in.

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The stage is yours.

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Tell us your story.

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Share with us your magic.

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Thank you so much.

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And yes, before to start everything, as you say, sit down, take a breath, because I really
feel this like a Pandora box opening in many senses.

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So starting my story, it's so to say this or my story that I have been overcome is so much
related with this patterns of hopelessness of

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being in a mode of surviving.

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that's the, so to say, the base of my experience.

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But I will start here because it's very important from where I, how I grow up, where I
grow up and where that takes me.

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Because as a children, we take everything in from the environment, what we see, what we
feel, what we, so we take that as our own reality.

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So

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I was growing up in Moldova, Republica Moldova is a small country between Romanian and
Ukraine.

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the Moldova is quite a poor country, to say, still suppress it in so many ways, even the,
I feel the government suppressing the humanity, the people living in the country.

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So I was grow up in a poor country where my parents have think,

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and have shared their love with me by taking care of me, send me to school, feed me,
having warmth and so on, so strict necessary things as a human being.

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And I also grew up in a family where my father was having problem with alcohol.

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And it was weekly, a circus in the house, so to say.

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My mom was beaten every time.

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Every time when he was coming home, we was shaking because I have two more brothers.

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We as a children was shaking because we don't know what is to happen this time, you know?

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So I grew up in this environment where

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I saw my mom hiding herself under the table, under the things, in some other places from
my father because she was beaten.

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So I was seeing it, this, power of a man abusing a woman physically and verbally.

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So I grew up with this idea or with this, yes, with this idea that we as a woman are just

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not so important.

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We are just as is this so to say human beings that make children, make food, take care of
home and the kids and do a job here and there and strictly about this.

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So I have grown up this belief that as a woman we are not important.

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We are, we don't have a voice.

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We cannot say what we think and what we feel because the man is empowered, the man is in
charge to all that.

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So going through all this, I got to a point where I start to university and I was meeting
a guy online from Romania, which is just a neighbor country and I was super excited.

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my God.

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It's like, look, a guy, look at me.

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He wants to come in Moldova to see me.

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Like, wow.

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So I was really excited being in the university, having this age of 18, 19, like, you know
how we all are.

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And guess what?

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He's coming with a Luxus car, with a lot of this, you know, showing that he has.

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So of course, my mind, I was just taking over, you know, like, wow, he's looking at me.

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Look what he has.

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And he still look at me.

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So long story short, helped me with the money to make a visa to go to Romania, so to move
to his place.

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But here was a situation where there was a conversation where it put me in a place where
my brain was like, no, I cannot do this.

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where he actually told me that, you know, nicely, you know, try to sneak in that in order
for me or to be with him or to create something together, I have to go to sell my body.

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And in that moment, I was shocked.

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I don't know, my brain could not get it.

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you see it?

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I was crying because I don't know what it is.

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I don't want it with men.

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like, like, I cannot, you know, and through all this and manipulation and coming with
another friend of her with him, coming with a friend, which was a lady.

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So try her to put me to convince me.

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So I go to a place where one year, one year, one year, it's okay.

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I think I can do it, you know?

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So all this in the same time.

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was another like how to get out from Moldova.

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It was also for me, I escaped for me personally to get out from country because I sense
and I felt it.

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I don't have a future there.

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I don't relate to those people.

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I don't have a future.

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So through tears and fears and my brain was all over the place.

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I say yes to that.

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I don't know what I'm doing, but

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the so to say the This feeling of I want to get out from that country has really put me in
this place to say yes to something that I was Really like whoa.

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Whoa.

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Whoa.

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I don't know.

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How what is this?

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so anyway, I Realized in the end that that was not the love That was not love.

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That was just poor game

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mind game to make up something to make me to feel like, I have, I'm supporting, I've been
taking care, but actually I was trough traffic.

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You know, I wasn't to this area where, I saw like human trafficking, what is going on in
more legal way, because then we get married and for my own, my reality on my world, was

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like, this is a marriage.

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He's my husband.

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I have a relationship.

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I never had a relationship before in my life.

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So that was new and get it married.

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So I accept all this because I felt this.

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I felt so hopeless because of based on what I saw growing up, sawing and this in my
family, I create this belief that.

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I need someone else.

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so I can survive.

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need somebody by my side so I can go on in life.

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Like this fear of not knowing if I can do the things alone and seeing that a Moldovian
woman cannot manage life when they are alone.

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After divorce, it's chaos, it's mess, it goes down to the road.

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So all this, you know, put me in this place of saying...

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Yes to something that deep inside me was a big no, but was so covered that I could not
really trust that, but I could fall into this area where.

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where a woman is so suppressed, where a woman is so plate in the mind that she herself is
not totally aware.

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I was being raped, but so to say my husband that time when he was coming to visit me in
Moldova, he was practically raped me.

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And I was in a place like, this is how to make love.

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I don't know what's mean to be loved by a man.

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I don't know what's mean to really make love coming from that place.

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So I was raped today thinking, looking back, I realized that was not love.

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That was just rape.

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So anyway, this experience, being this with men, being in this area where the woman is

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sexually enslaved.

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The woman is just a tool to make money.

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The woman is just the bank for a man so he can spend the money how he wants.

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I have been experienced abused mentally, physically, emotionally.

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I even have been so good played that I cut off the connection with my family.

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slowly, slowly, totally take distance.

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I don't talk so much.

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So everything what was was him and his mother and father, him.

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That was the whole, what I was new.

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So it has put me myself in a box that this is my life.

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Even though I was not able.

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I was not able to understand that I have no personality.

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I was just like a baby doll.

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Take it from here, put it there, take it from there, do there, whatever what we say.

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Yes, sir, I'm done, I'm doing.

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And then I was like, it's so nice.

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He told me I'm so good.

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So this period of...

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I can call it madness.

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Poor madness because I never experienced love and that connection.

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was just a poor tool to be used for his own needs and for being put out there for others
needs, but also for him to have an income.

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this experience.

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has made me to believe that I am nothing.

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I have no voice.

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I am not matter and that I am not and I cannot survive alone in this life.

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I was so mentally say raped that I have even I don't even have clear memories with my
childhood because I realized how good he have been scratched the surface of what I have

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been experienced home.

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And the way he plays with my mind tells me that my real family actually have never loved
me.

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So really, really engage me and put me in this book of no escape, that he is the only
savior and his family love me and they show so much love to me and all this manipulation

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and mind games.

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I was nothing.

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I wasn't so much fear because his words was a command for me.

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And if I was not executed for whatever reason, I was having fears because I knew there
would come the violence.

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I knew I would be beaten even from trying to speak something that I feel was right with
me.

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I was not allowed because immediately

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Something was flying towards me.

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This experience put me in a place where...

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I don't know, going really down.

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into a place where I could not see hope in life.

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I could really not see hope.

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I tried to kill myself.

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but I'm here happily because not that was meant to be.

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But I wanted to do it because I was like, I don't know what to do.

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Like what to do with my life, where to go?

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How can I put my life together?

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Because I always have somebody there to tell me you have to go there, you have to do this,
you have to come back, you have to give me this.

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So there was not a sense of self.

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It was empty.

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It was nothing.

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But deep inside me, I will always feel that this has not felt right with me.

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This is not feels right.

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But because not knowing better, because feeling so hopeless and leaving from a place of
surviving instead of living life, I have accepted all this abuse.

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and I

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till something has to crack open.

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So I meet another person which was my savior so to say, which become my second husband.

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He was a really savior for me.

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I was...

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We was, I don't know, we're so good connecting and just really soulmates, you know, being
good to be around and really taking care, not having any needs of something or doing

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something because, I expect she will something else, you know, poorly just giving.

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And that's helped me to take a decision to say no more to that.

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No.

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And I was so afraid that day because I was separate.

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He was in Romania.

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I was in another country doing that, sending money there.

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And there was something going on where

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So I need to put this, the last time when I saw him was the, so to say, the person that
put me down into this place.

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It was, he was smoking so much joint to a period where I was, of course, don't say to him
what to do.

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He knows the best, but that him going over smoking, overdoing, he go to a place of
psychos, of

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craziness where I was like holy crap what to do now I'm in a country where I don't know
anybody I don't know the language it's me myself like what to do you start to open the

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doors the windows everything and get the darkness out and then speaking to me craziness
and and I was so afraid because okay this is crazy I don't know what to do I jump out of

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the window because if I was take the door out he will stop me I knew it

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So I just jump out of the window because I think I don't know where to go.

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In meantime, I called the landlord that time and he said, better call the police and call
the police.

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Hey, the thing is eliminated that.

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But that was the time when I realized, when I realized like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
that's too much.

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Like that's not what I want to live.

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And in this episode, exactly in this time of episode, when he have this episode was three
days, what I was beaten every day.

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A major things to say, snuck, a small thing, whatever I could say and was against his
whatever feeling thing.

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I was beaten down because they say, shut up.

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I was not allowed to speak.

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I remember I was talking a beer glass of bottle was empty and I was smash it in my head
because I was like, I want to die.

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I want to end this.

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Like it's too horrible.

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Like where is going?

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So I want to, I just smash myself with that glass of bottle because I was like, maybe I
fall down here on that end and, I'm, I'm, I'm free, you know, anyway.

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But that was ended.

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And I meet this guy, which is my second husband, that he was a savior with his help,
support, and opened up my eyes.

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I remember because I wasn't this, should I go back?

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know, is this feeling of familiarity?

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Of you know it what it is?

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And even though you know what it is, you better go there because you know it.

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So I was in a place living with being in the same apartment, living with the second
husband, you know, boyfriend at that time.

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And there was a period where I say to him, like, I was so afraid being there with him
because it was new.

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And I say to him, like, I think I want to go back to Romania.

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And he was looking at me and...

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listening, I was crying and in that moment he said okay go to your fucking shitty life and
that I will never forget it and that moment

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I was shaking and super crying because I realized like, yes, that's a freaking shitty
life.

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I know I will be beat again.

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I know I'll be put down again.

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I know I will be doing stuff.

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I know I cannot be allowed to speak something, to say something.

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My words was not matter.

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My, my, my meaning in life, it was zero.

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So in that moment, I was afraid because staying with him, it was also fearful.

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I wasn't a country.

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I don't know the culture.

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00:20:38,261 --> 00:20:39,662
I don't know the language.

217
00:20:39,662 --> 00:20:42,583
even I don't know him so good.

218
00:20:42,603 --> 00:20:47,786
So all these fears and all this, I think, OK, I do it.

219
00:20:47,786 --> 00:20:53,670
I'm staying here because I don't knew I don't knew what will happening in my life if I
stay.

220
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,911
But I knew so good if I will go.

221
00:20:55,911 --> 00:21:03,791
So that's why a part of me wants to run back because it's new, new that I know what will
happen.

222
00:21:03,791 --> 00:21:05,873
but I don't know what will happen here.

223
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:19,570
So that decision was the most precious decision that I could ever could take in my life,
like the most, because my life changed.

224
00:21:20,672 --> 00:21:23,255
I learned I was in an environment where...

225
00:21:25,999 --> 00:21:37,664
This man have loved me in his way, have offered me the wholeness, what he could give me,
want me to take me to connect, to learn to connect with other people.

226
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:40,696
When I was always looking down, I could not connect.

227
00:21:40,696 --> 00:21:42,476
I could not talk to strange people.

228
00:21:42,476 --> 00:21:45,458
I was like, I want to be myself.

229
00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:48,449
I was so not connectable.

230
00:21:48,449 --> 00:21:51,570
Like I could not look in people's eyes.

231
00:21:51,771 --> 00:21:52,851
I could not.

232
00:21:52,995 --> 00:21:55,267
have a conversation with somebody that I don't know.

233
00:21:55,267 --> 00:21:56,428
I don't know where to take it.

234
00:21:56,428 --> 00:21:57,679
Like, what is this?

235
00:21:57,679 --> 00:22:04,565
So he really tried to, let's say, integrate me in life.

236
00:22:06,168 --> 00:22:10,692
Teach me that I have a voice, I can use it.

237
00:22:10,692 --> 00:22:14,555
I can connect and have friends because I never had friends.

238
00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:21,572
And also at the same time he tried to open my mind to kind of...

239
00:22:21,572 --> 00:22:23,443
I speak openly what I go through.

240
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:34,696
So he really tried to open my mind to take me out from that victimhood mentality and from
that slavery that I was in.

241
00:22:34,696 --> 00:22:42,458
And I still was carrying with me that hopelessness, that nothingness.

242
00:22:42,458 --> 00:22:45,379
So he teach me that...

243
00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:48,363
Life is something else.

244
00:22:48,363 --> 00:22:56,865
That there is life that I was never knew that it's possible to have.

245
00:22:59,035 --> 00:23:05,698
So this relationship really, really bring me to a place where...

246
00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:11,402
where my time was come to awaken.

247
00:23:11,402 --> 00:23:14,813
So I had this experience that really twisted my life.

248
00:23:16,274 --> 00:23:20,636
I go to a point where I think like, I don't know anything about spirituality.

249
00:23:20,636 --> 00:23:27,138
Like, I don't know what it is, what is eating with, like meditating, my gosh, I cannot
even put my mind in, you know.

250
00:23:27,579 --> 00:23:29,039
But one evening.

251
00:23:33,339 --> 00:23:35,560
I was saying to myself, let's meditate by phone.

252
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:36,551
I don't know what it is.

253
00:23:36,551 --> 00:23:40,183
Put some music, go on bed, chill out, lie down, you know.

254
00:23:40,183 --> 00:23:46,446
But of course, there was a period when, you know, I know I'm a little bit jumping, I need
to come back.

255
00:23:46,446 --> 00:24:01,845
Being with this man, wonderful man, my ex -husband, second husband, he actually, I need to
put this, he actually not only opened my mind, showed me that how love may feel some looks

256
00:24:01,845 --> 00:24:02,565
like.

257
00:24:02,565 --> 00:24:06,976
But also he say, go and train Kramaga.

258
00:24:06,976 --> 00:24:11,817
So there will not be any man who'll ever touch you.

259
00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:17,659
So I was training Kramaga for myself, which is self -defense, Australian self -defense.

260
00:24:17,719 --> 00:24:20,880
After three years, I become an instructor.

261
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,280
I love it.

262
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,321
I love it so much.

263
00:24:24,321 --> 00:24:27,672
It's like it was in my body, the way I was fighting.

264
00:24:27,672 --> 00:24:31,543
It's like it was made for me.

265
00:24:32,099 --> 00:24:44,789
Going there actually has helped me to get more confidence in myself and being an
instructor actually has helped me to stand front of a bunch of people tall, low, men,

266
00:24:44,789 --> 00:24:53,615
women, muscle, fit guys, no fit guys, street guys, no street guys, all this combination
and I am as a lady

267
00:24:56,865 --> 00:25:00,498
to stand there to teach Tim how to fight.

268
00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:07,503
This was really, really a life lessons where I could build the confidence in myself.

269
00:25:08,444 --> 00:25:10,146
So everything was wonderful.

270
00:25:10,146 --> 00:25:12,428
I was having a job, normally job.

271
00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:14,229
I was having a husband.

272
00:25:14,229 --> 00:25:18,672
was doing, I was teaching Kramagoa what I love it to do.

273
00:25:19,213 --> 00:25:20,644
My life was wonderful.

274
00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:26,789
So I was in another loop where I was working, go to teach, come back.

275
00:25:26,789 --> 00:25:34,581
take a joint and I was going in this loop and every evening end up with a joint, chill
out, sleep, wake up and again and again and again.

276
00:25:34,581 --> 00:25:37,922
So again, I was jumping on a secret where it was like repeating.

277
00:25:38,182 --> 00:25:42,863
So one of the evening I say to myself after smoking, I go to meditate.

278
00:25:43,023 --> 00:25:44,944
Like, I don't know what it is, I just try.

279
00:25:44,944 --> 00:25:52,766
So I lie down, I put some music and then sound like here, you are one of a kind.

280
00:25:52,766 --> 00:25:54,746
And then I felt love.

281
00:25:55,227 --> 00:25:56,917
I felt love.

282
00:25:57,157 --> 00:26:00,529
But I could never felt it.

283
00:26:00,529 --> 00:26:02,910
It was never giving to me to feel.

284
00:26:02,910 --> 00:26:04,750
And then I start to compare it.

285
00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:06,191
This is mother love.

286
00:26:06,191 --> 00:26:06,771
No.

287
00:26:06,771 --> 00:26:07,552
Father, no.

288
00:26:07,552 --> 00:26:08,202
Sister, no.

289
00:26:08,202 --> 00:26:09,422
Lover, husband, no.

290
00:26:09,422 --> 00:26:11,343
It's like, what is this?

291
00:26:11,343 --> 00:26:18,677
And then I was like, I felt like, okay, if I kill another human being, I will be loved the
same.

292
00:26:18,677 --> 00:26:24,599
And that really hit me because I was like, this is God's love.

293
00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:27,933
This is unconditional love.

294
00:26:28,534 --> 00:26:35,538
And then immediately my dog was jumping on the bed and I felt my body a gelatin.

295
00:26:35,538 --> 00:26:37,089
Like really I have no bones.

296
00:26:37,089 --> 00:26:38,590
I was something just hanging there.

297
00:26:38,590 --> 00:26:40,832
I was like, wow, that's weird.

298
00:26:40,832 --> 00:26:42,022
What is this?

299
00:26:43,124 --> 00:26:48,667
And then my husband that time called me and I was aware that I could hear, but I could not
move.

300
00:26:48,767 --> 00:26:50,208
I was like, whoa, what was this?

301
00:26:50,208 --> 00:26:53,070
And then slowly, okay, I come back.

302
00:26:53,391 --> 00:26:54,491
But now...

303
00:26:54,587 --> 00:27:07,938
speaking I realized I was being experiencing my own Andromedan body, my soul, who I am,
where I come from and why I'm here.

304
00:27:07,938 --> 00:27:15,063
So I have experienced this Andromedan body, you know, which is so different than a human
body.

305
00:27:17,881 --> 00:27:34,320
And that was the moment when I could not stop myself searching because that was something
that I knew it and I feel in my bones and soul that life is more, is more than I could

306
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,542
ever experience until that moment.

307
00:27:37,542 --> 00:27:42,275
So I searched what is that more in life going on Google, right?

308
00:27:42,275 --> 00:27:44,166
What's mean to feel love?

309
00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:46,331
So, so...

310
00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:51,633
primitive mentally, I don't know what's mean to give them to me to feel this love.

311
00:27:51,633 --> 00:27:52,633
What's that mean?

312
00:27:52,633 --> 00:27:53,233
Why?

313
00:27:53,233 --> 00:27:58,035
You know, and this guides and spirit, you are one of a kind.

314
00:27:58,035 --> 00:27:59,695
What is all this?

315
00:27:59,695 --> 00:28:03,026
To jump over Google Lightworkers, star seats.

316
00:28:03,026 --> 00:28:04,947
And I was like, this is crazy.

317
00:28:04,947 --> 00:28:07,478
Like, what crazy is this?

318
00:28:07,498 --> 00:28:11,129
I was could not resonate because I could not understand it.

319
00:28:13,167 --> 00:28:22,891
But that was the key and I give in search and I start to read books and I was, and there
was start my transformation till my husband that time say, what's going on?

320
00:28:22,891 --> 00:28:24,992
You just sit by yourself reading books.

321
00:28:24,992 --> 00:28:26,272
You're not anymore.

322
00:28:26,272 --> 00:28:29,814
But I was so into it because I knew it.

323
00:28:29,814 --> 00:28:31,955
That's so important for me.

324
00:28:31,955 --> 00:28:33,475
One year later.

325
00:28:35,237 --> 00:28:37,548
because that was the path of transformation.

326
00:28:37,548 --> 00:28:41,549
Of course, after this was the dark nights of the soul, I was crying.

327
00:28:41,549 --> 00:28:42,479
I don't know why.

328
00:28:42,479 --> 00:28:46,030
I was screaming with myself in bed, I'm dying.

329
00:28:46,030 --> 00:28:53,773
And I don't know why, but I was feeling dying because it was just the transformation of
it.

330
00:28:54,053 --> 00:28:57,094
One year later, everything was beautiful.

331
00:28:57,094 --> 00:29:01,029
I was, my God, you know, we are so...

332
00:29:01,029 --> 00:29:14,919
beautiful everybody's beautiful the humans are beautiful there are no awful people there
are no bad people you know jumping in this another realm of pink and love and light and so

333
00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:29,599
on so what's wonderful but it's kicking crying i could not stop then it's got to a point
where in me have changed my emotions towards my husband

334
00:29:30,733 --> 00:29:33,044
So I needed to take a decision.

335
00:29:33,044 --> 00:29:34,134
I knew it.

336
00:29:34,134 --> 00:29:39,065
I have to take a decision to leave the connection to divorce.

337
00:29:39,206 --> 00:29:43,507
For two weeks I was in my mind to grasp it.

338
00:29:43,507 --> 00:29:44,567
Why?

339
00:29:44,567 --> 00:29:45,828
To understand it.

340
00:29:45,828 --> 00:29:47,028
Why?

341
00:29:47,748 --> 00:29:49,508
Nothing is wrong.

342
00:29:49,509 --> 00:29:50,809
I'm good.

343
00:29:50,809 --> 00:29:52,189
I have the whole.

344
00:29:52,189 --> 00:29:53,090
Why?

345
00:29:53,090 --> 00:29:57,837
So two weeks I was in my mind to a point where I had a breakdown.

346
00:29:57,837 --> 00:30:08,909
like really a breakdown when I was screaming out of my mind was really going nuts because
I was like what I'm doing here I don't understand it what's going on

347
00:30:10,531 --> 00:30:11,877
So that was.

348
00:30:13,861 --> 00:30:18,672
the second step because I was fighting with my mind.

349
00:30:18,672 --> 00:30:22,033
My soul told me I have to move on.

350
00:30:22,033 --> 00:30:24,194
My mind say you are okay.

351
00:30:24,194 --> 00:30:25,764
You have all that you need.

352
00:30:25,764 --> 00:30:28,105
You have a husband and a job and a hobby.

353
00:30:28,105 --> 00:30:29,476
Everything is perfect.

354
00:30:29,476 --> 00:30:32,687
But inside me was screaming you have to leave.

355
00:30:32,687 --> 00:30:34,217
You have to move on.

356
00:30:34,217 --> 00:30:41,279
So I was in this battle to comprehend why it's nothing wrong.

357
00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:53,214
But that was my soul because my wanted more and I was in a box.

358
00:30:53,214 --> 00:30:57,056
So I need to level up and I was loved.

359
00:30:57,056 --> 00:31:01,559
I received all that I need, but still was a box for my soul.

360
00:31:03,631 --> 00:31:15,984
So that decision to go into the unknown, to take decisions that are not logical, everybody
say like, are you crazy?

361
00:31:15,984 --> 00:31:16,784
What are you doing?

362
00:31:16,784 --> 00:31:17,885
Why?

363
00:31:18,186 --> 00:31:23,531
But that was the decision that liberate me as a human being.

364
00:31:25,699 --> 00:31:27,469
So with this said,

365
00:31:32,077 --> 00:31:42,369
I have been experiencing a human life, unknowing who I am.

366
00:31:44,241 --> 00:31:47,638
and realizing what I am.

367
00:31:49,637 --> 00:31:50,517
This

368
00:31:52,731 --> 00:31:54,307
going into this.

369
00:31:55,951 --> 00:31:58,178
period or suppression.

370
00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:01,060
Violence.

371
00:32:01,863 --> 00:32:04,217
Feeling I'm being a slave.

372
00:32:07,547 --> 00:32:19,555
has enriched me with the wisdom of what is the power of sexual energy.

373
00:32:21,785 --> 00:32:30,641
because we as a soul, we are energy and in our body we call it Kundalini.

374
00:32:30,901 --> 00:32:33,743
Kundalini is just a life force.

375
00:32:33,823 --> 00:32:47,492
Life force is our essence, is the soul, but it's dormant and not many, there are many, but
it's dormant and there are people who awaken this, know, it's pleasure.

376
00:32:48,153 --> 00:32:50,634
And people confuse it because,

377
00:32:51,001 --> 00:32:52,176
I'm aroused.

378
00:32:52,176 --> 00:32:57,045
my God, let's do this because it's your soul who is awakened.

379
00:32:59,599 --> 00:33:00,478
So.

380
00:33:06,105 --> 00:33:13,079
going through this, grow up to see my mom, me myself choosing the same path.

381
00:33:15,225 --> 00:33:25,898
unconscious, then taking the fearful decision known to choose something else, I don't know
what it is, has actually elevate me to awaken.

382
00:33:26,558 --> 00:33:44,463
What I learned from my own experience is the power that women are carrying in their own
beingness and women are not aware of what are they.

383
00:33:44,463 --> 00:33:46,892
Here we in themself.

384
00:33:48,953 --> 00:33:53,385
That's why prostitution is man -made.

385
00:33:53,385 --> 00:34:11,392
That's why men use women to sell their bodies, to suppress their own essence, to be
suppressed their own sexual energy, that their own essence, because humanity is sleeping

386
00:34:11,392 --> 00:34:19,085
because women are suppressed and nobody can comprehend this because the women

387
00:34:19,297 --> 00:34:21,709
is the gate to the divine.

388
00:34:21,709 --> 00:34:24,772
She is more open to the divinity.

389
00:34:24,772 --> 00:34:35,180
She's carrying the force life, the healing energy, the sexual energy that have nothing,
nothing to do with sex.

390
00:34:35,180 --> 00:34:36,621
Nothing at all.

391
00:34:37,182 --> 00:34:41,325
People feel it in the body, they think, I'm aroused.

392
00:34:41,325 --> 00:34:43,397
I want to have some fun time.

393
00:34:43,397 --> 00:34:46,610
No, this is you.

394
00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:48,941
This is you waking up.

395
00:34:49,775 --> 00:34:53,861
This is your soul waking experience.

396
00:34:53,861 --> 00:34:59,430
are waking in a carnal physical body, in a human body on earth.

397
00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:00,731
This is you.

398
00:35:04,015 --> 00:35:18,937
this experience and I feel that I have experienced this on behalf of all women that are
there, lost, fearful, unafraid.

399
00:35:21,135 --> 00:35:32,741
This is an sister trauma that so many women go into it unaware and think that this is the
life.

400
00:35:32,741 --> 00:35:33,941
This is what should be.

401
00:35:33,941 --> 00:35:37,742
This is, this is and there is nothing else.

402
00:35:39,493 --> 00:35:43,766
This is the archetype of prostitute and I realized that

403
00:35:47,023 --> 00:35:52,848
We as human beings, we do that in our life, men or women.

404
00:35:53,429 --> 00:36:09,403
We are prostitutes ourselves for not saying no for things that we don't want, but just
accepting the things just because we want something, money or being with that person even

405
00:36:09,403 --> 00:36:14,457
though shit happens, it's not good, relationship, skrt, skrt, but...

406
00:36:14,457 --> 00:36:26,192
I'm so attached, I still love, you Is this suppressing your own truth for choosing your
mind because it's a safe place?

407
00:36:27,232 --> 00:36:33,805
That is what unconscious we as a human are doing.

408
00:36:35,717 --> 00:36:55,392
This story, this experience, because it's a life story for me, it's my story, have given
to me the gift of understanding what is sexual energy, why it's so important to take

409
00:36:55,392 --> 00:37:05,015
responsibility, special being a woman, to take responsibility of who you share your body.

410
00:37:06,241 --> 00:37:07,213
with?

411
00:37:08,019 --> 00:37:11,541
Is there love or is there physical attraction?

412
00:37:17,861 --> 00:37:22,364
This is, I liberate it.

413
00:37:22,364 --> 00:37:23,747
How can I say it?

414
00:37:25,477 --> 00:37:33,131
This is a liberation of a soul when we are so suppressed.

415
00:37:34,787 --> 00:37:52,121
not knowing anything, taking decision with so much fear because those decision put me in a
place of unknown that we are all of us, we are so freaking aware of not knowing to predict

416
00:37:52,182 --> 00:37:53,222
things.

417
00:37:53,984 --> 00:38:02,991
And doing this one, two, three times has helped me to open, to open, to open where today

418
00:38:04,663 --> 00:38:24,728
I use my own sexual energy for my own healing, for working with energies, for transmuting
heavy energy, and for assisting others to liberate their own channel from this blockage of

419
00:38:25,169 --> 00:38:32,050
trauma energies that will carry even consciousness that is attached of our own beingness.

420
00:38:32,691 --> 00:38:34,821
Here is a message that I want

421
00:38:34,821 --> 00:38:36,796
to send, to give to the woman.

422
00:38:36,796 --> 00:38:38,598
then I will.

423
00:38:40,419 --> 00:38:42,594
My dear beautiful woman.

424
00:38:45,881 --> 00:38:47,371
I ask you.

425
00:38:49,179 --> 00:39:11,208
to go deep into your own heart, to connect with your own essence, to recognize the divine
spark that you are, to wake up and to say no to everything that is not aligned with your

426
00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:17,631
own truth, with your own authenticity and

427
00:39:17,851 --> 00:39:30,675
could do your best to awaken your own soul by taking care of your body, your body and your
sexual energy.

428
00:39:31,795 --> 00:39:44,059
And know that by this doing it, you help humanity to awaken to their own essence of
beingness.

429
00:39:47,491 --> 00:39:56,429
And because I go through so, and I saw so much, and I felt so many, I also want to give a
message to men.

430
00:39:58,317 --> 00:39:59,268
Termin.

431
00:40:02,811 --> 00:40:13,655
come home into your heart and know that the woman is a divine, is a beingness that has to
be respected.

432
00:40:14,255 --> 00:40:24,279
And sex, how you call it, is a sacred ritual, is only shared with the one that you love
from your heart.

433
00:40:26,875 --> 00:40:35,819
The woman is the key so you can be able to unlock your own divine spark.

434
00:40:35,819 --> 00:40:46,823
She is the key to assist you and to bring you into a place where you never know have been
existed.

435
00:40:46,823 --> 00:40:51,045
It's your essence, it's your soul, it's divine in you.

436
00:40:52,025 --> 00:40:55,086
Don't underestimate a woman.

437
00:40:56,357 --> 00:40:57,509
Put her down.

438
00:40:57,509 --> 00:40:59,453
Don't look at her down.

439
00:40:59,453 --> 00:41:05,123
Don't mistreat her and don't abuse her because what are you doing?

440
00:41:07,705 --> 00:41:09,836
You play with divine force.

441
00:41:10,678 --> 00:41:14,721
You put that down unconscious.

442
00:41:15,902 --> 00:41:17,133
I beg you.

443
00:41:19,301 --> 00:41:24,127
to respect yourself by respecting that woman.

444
00:41:28,623 --> 00:41:30,154
That's it.

445
00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:30,784
I...

446
00:41:31,865 --> 00:41:35,267
Yes.

447
00:41:35,668 --> 00:41:37,348
I'm so taken.

448
00:41:40,971 --> 00:41:41,951
Yes.

449
00:41:42,012 --> 00:41:46,855
So with this said, Hamish, this is a...

450
00:41:47,996 --> 00:41:49,917
This is an experience.

451
00:41:50,638 --> 00:41:51,978
How to...

452
00:41:54,811 --> 00:41:57,551
heal the ancestor lineage.

453
00:41:57,551 --> 00:42:14,611
If we look back in years and years how women were suppressed, put down, even not today,
even not today 2024, they are equal with men in the same place.

454
00:42:14,671 --> 00:42:17,011
Let's say a job, they are not equal.

455
00:42:19,643 --> 00:42:36,414
to allow to your spirit to birth itself in a human body, you have to overcome the patterns
that we have been created by the experience we had.

456
00:42:36,575 --> 00:42:48,195
It's not just in a mental level, I am worthy, I am love, this will not help you with
anything because in the end of the day, you will go on the same circle.

457
00:42:48,195 --> 00:42:52,259
choosing the same because you come from the same place.

458
00:42:52,259 --> 00:42:56,201
It's not something in the mind to comprehend.

459
00:42:57,183 --> 00:43:11,575
It's something in the body to feel it because when you clean that consciousness, when you
felt and heal that trauma, that pain, that what it was, you make space for more light, for

460
00:43:11,575 --> 00:43:13,096
more of you.

461
00:43:13,697 --> 00:43:17,049
So in this way you give more space to be

462
00:43:22,756 --> 00:43:27,178
Because the trauma, the story will always be there.

463
00:43:27,178 --> 00:43:30,500
But we put in a place where we are aware of it.

464
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:33,511
So say like, whoa, no, no, no, no, this is not me.

465
00:43:33,511 --> 00:43:36,423
This is who I was, but this is not me.

466
00:43:36,963 --> 00:43:39,905
So overcome it.

467
00:43:39,945 --> 00:43:41,786
It's not reading books.

468
00:43:42,226 --> 00:43:44,567
And I don't know.

469
00:43:44,728 --> 00:43:47,489
It's really going here.

470
00:43:47,829 --> 00:43:49,170
Make space here.

471
00:43:49,170 --> 00:43:51,397
So divine have space.

472
00:43:51,397 --> 00:43:54,710
to be more in home, in this body.

473
00:43:58,447 --> 00:43:59,641
This is

474
00:44:02,105 --> 00:44:03,370
This is the

475
00:44:08,325 --> 00:44:14,278
This is a life what a woman is living on earth, conscious or unconscious.

476
00:44:15,619 --> 00:44:19,081
I also observe many women are raped in silence.

477
00:44:19,081 --> 00:44:22,403
And when I say this, they are not aware.

478
00:44:22,484 --> 00:44:24,855
They are so mind manipulated.

479
00:44:24,855 --> 00:44:28,907
They are not aware what is going on.

480
00:44:30,435 --> 00:44:46,196
I also observe this prostitution archetype is existing a marriage couple when the woman
she don't feel there are moments when it's so busy and women don't feel to have an

481
00:44:46,196 --> 00:44:58,795
intimacy with her husband because it's so much going on but then she say to herself yeah I
will make my duty I am his wife it's okay I'm his wife but have you asked yourself what

482
00:44:58,795 --> 00:44:59,885
you feel

483
00:44:59,973 --> 00:45:02,664
Do you are able to open up to that?

484
00:45:02,784 --> 00:45:07,525
Because our sexuality is the most vulnerable place.

485
00:45:07,525 --> 00:45:11,006
It's like soul connecting with a soul.

486
00:45:11,146 --> 00:45:13,487
That's what it is, sexuality.

487
00:45:14,307 --> 00:45:23,930
It's not something to be shared because of, you know, I'm a little bit high today and
let's finish this party good.

488
00:45:24,251 --> 00:45:25,451
No, no.

489
00:45:27,455 --> 00:45:37,017
sexuality that's why it's so vulnerable for men and women to even open up to that area
because it's the key.

490
00:45:37,378 --> 00:45:55,283
Many hold have so much or they are being driven by the lower chakra which is the blocked
energy sexual that they are being ordered to have this physical contact to release all

491
00:45:55,283 --> 00:45:56,997
these energies because

492
00:45:56,997 --> 00:46:11,077
they're coming from the place of trauma root chakra which is all about I need I need I
need once you released and you are in this place you go to a point where you don't need

493
00:46:11,077 --> 00:46:25,359
that you only choose you go to a place where you feel and understand I will never ever
share my body for a half hour of pleasure never

494
00:46:25,359 --> 00:46:29,547
And if I will be alone my whole life, so let it be!

495
00:46:29,547 --> 00:46:34,425
Because I am enough and whole with this, now.

496
00:46:36,143 --> 00:46:42,288
then you realize you are home because you are not coming from a place of need.

497
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:52,398
This is so much how we are being programmed, what we see, how we grow up, what we was
going through.

498
00:46:52,539 --> 00:46:53,369
So.

499
00:46:57,913 --> 00:47:05,713
Yes, Hamish, I let you put a question if you have some question or whatever.

500
00:47:05,713 --> 00:47:07,826
Yeah.

501
00:47:12,605 --> 00:47:13,603
Thank you.

502
00:47:15,243 --> 00:47:16,290
Thank you.

503
00:47:16,563 --> 00:47:18,895
There is very little I can say.

504
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,615
Thank you for everything.

505
00:47:25,615 --> 00:47:28,688
Thank you for sharing that.

506
00:47:29,370 --> 00:47:33,995
Thank you for feeling safe in this space this man has given you to...

507
00:47:37,479 --> 00:47:41,923
change my perception, to make me see things I had never considered.

508
00:47:41,923 --> 00:48:00,498
Yeah, you're heard, you're seen, I can feel it, I can sense it and I am really, really
honoured that you were able to tell me, share with me, share with everybody what you did

509
00:48:00,498 --> 00:48:01,208
today.

510
00:48:06,205 --> 00:48:10,267
I am, yeah, gobsmacked, obviously.

511
00:48:10,328 --> 00:48:11,459
So thank you for that.

512
00:48:11,459 --> 00:48:14,761
Trying to think what I want to ask you.

513
00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:17,032
All I can really think of is how.

514
00:48:21,065 --> 00:48:24,907
Were you able to forgive your first husband?

515
00:48:25,668 --> 00:48:38,215
Not from what he did, but were you able to make sense of how you found yourself there and
how you got yourself out of there?

516
00:48:38,215 --> 00:48:40,226
I think it was not even how do you forgive him.

517
00:48:40,226 --> 00:48:42,977
Have you understood?

518
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:50,103
why you found yourself in that place because it's not about him this is all about you.

519
00:48:50,283 --> 00:48:51,563
Exactly.

520
00:48:52,144 --> 00:49:02,548
Yes, how I end up to be there is because I was believed and I felt the hopelessness in me.

521
00:49:02,728 --> 00:49:19,609
So this hopelessness, this surviving being in Moldova and feeling that I have no future
there and I need to do something to survive has really pushed me somehow into this way of

522
00:49:19,609 --> 00:49:33,759
saying yes to his and going to that path because of the patterns of seeing my mom abused
and understanding that we are hopeless, we cannot do anything by ourselves, we need that

523
00:49:33,759 --> 00:49:35,350
guy, we need that man, we need...

524
00:49:35,350 --> 00:49:48,461
So that's really pushed me into this because the mentality that we have in Moldova, what
that is there, it's really a poor mentality spiritually.

525
00:49:48,461 --> 00:49:59,409
It's so poor, even though people are so believing in God and go to the church and put
candles, it's such an emptiness as a spiritual being.

526
00:49:59,409 --> 00:50:01,391
It's so much emptiness.

527
00:50:03,405 --> 00:50:19,719
Living in those conditions pushed me to choose this madness as a door for me, seeing it as
a surviving, as actually do something in my life, taking a path that will take me

528
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,150
somewhere.

529
00:50:21,531 --> 00:50:27,085
That was how I end up there, believing that

530
00:50:28,783 --> 00:50:29,674
I need a savior.

531
00:50:29,674 --> 00:50:31,657
I need a savior.

532
00:50:31,657 --> 00:50:33,909
I cannot do it alone.

533
00:50:35,211 --> 00:50:36,052
How?

534
00:50:36,052 --> 00:50:38,794
And I understand why I have to be there.

535
00:50:39,937 --> 00:50:41,918
Speaking from here today.

536
00:50:46,395 --> 00:50:49,677
to heal the ancestor lineage.

537
00:50:51,019 --> 00:51:05,551
Because recently, I got from my guides, from divine colleagues, I got inside of the truth
of how I was coming in this world and I have no clue about it.

538
00:51:06,812 --> 00:51:11,216
But when I was small, I was feeling, I was felt like I'm not part of this family.

539
00:51:11,216 --> 00:51:11,936
What's going on?

540
00:51:11,936 --> 00:51:13,948
Even I say to my mom, have you adopted me?

541
00:51:13,948 --> 00:51:15,119
What's going on?

542
00:51:15,119 --> 00:51:18,080
because I felt something is not right.

543
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:35,365
So last year I got from my guides this clear vision, feeling in my beingness that I have
been chosen to come on this world, my mom being raped and I am the fruit of that rape.

544
00:51:36,085 --> 00:51:42,891
And for me makes so much sense how I ended up, what I ended up because I could carry all
that with me from a.

545
00:51:42,891 --> 00:51:45,086
even small tiny things.

546
00:51:45,086 --> 00:51:47,094
I carry all that with me.

547
00:51:49,401 --> 00:51:56,117
I come here on earth to heal the ancestor lineage of a woman.

548
00:51:57,625 --> 00:52:08,039
I have to go so low, so low down because my mind has no comprehension of that there is a
better life.

549
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:14,072
In Moldova, women are so suppressed, incapable to understand.

550
00:52:14,072 --> 00:52:22,205
A woman can be beaten by her husband in of the police officer because it's their family
issue, we don't blend ourselves in.

551
00:52:22,205 --> 00:52:24,065
How dare you!

552
00:52:25,206 --> 00:52:27,397
How can you let a man

553
00:52:27,397 --> 00:52:28,788
beat a woman.

554
00:52:28,788 --> 00:52:32,450
How can you compare that power?

555
00:52:33,551 --> 00:52:36,132
That's how I grew up, that's where I come from.

556
00:52:36,132 --> 00:52:39,033
My mind could not see better.

557
00:52:39,514 --> 00:52:47,318
All what I take in was suppression, slavery, hopelessness and surviving.

558
00:52:47,318 --> 00:52:52,321
Surviving to whatever way to take in life, just to survive somehow.

559
00:52:52,321 --> 00:52:55,843
And that's why I was on my way to survive.

560
00:52:56,037 --> 00:53:01,112
So that's what my madness has to go through so I can survive.

561
00:53:03,077 --> 00:53:04,378
how I go out from there.

562
00:53:04,378 --> 00:53:16,562
I was asking myself how I did it, how you did it and I realized I took the most fearful
decision that put me in a place of unknown.

563
00:53:17,383 --> 00:53:21,197
That is how I get out from something.

564
00:53:25,376 --> 00:53:36,162
that I was believe that life is and that is and there is no comment and there is nothing
to add this how it is boom boom boom you have no way to say to do to think this how it is

565
00:53:36,402 --> 00:53:53,331
so taking the decision being in a place of not knowingness of unknown that's how it's take
me to the next so that's helped me to let go to see something else that was my

566
00:53:54,105 --> 00:54:01,642
my strength I can guess to say yes to something that I don't know what is taking me and
it's so freaking me out.

567
00:54:02,784 --> 00:54:07,709
But good I take it because that's take me out totally.

568
00:54:08,310 --> 00:54:13,305
So I see it as I have been chosen the way I come on this earth.

569
00:54:15,191 --> 00:54:18,993
also to go through this madness.

570
00:54:18,993 --> 00:54:31,398
I have been chosen to the soul level because of the strength of my soul, of what I am and
why I come here on earth.

571
00:54:32,218 --> 00:54:34,699
I'm speaking on behalf of woman.

572
00:54:37,019 --> 00:54:38,067
.

573
00:54:39,963 --> 00:54:41,900
still try to find their voice.

574
00:54:44,513 --> 00:54:49,173
I know I choose that because I know my purpose in life.

575
00:54:49,173 --> 00:54:50,765
I know why come here.

576
00:54:53,263 --> 00:55:00,408
This is, I sign out to liberate the suppressed feminine.

577
00:55:00,429 --> 00:55:19,675
I sign up to go so low down so I can liberate that suppression so I can know it, I can
feel it, I can taste it and touch it and see how madness can feel, what that can be, how

578
00:55:19,675 --> 00:55:22,489
that, because we...

579
00:55:22,489 --> 00:55:24,379
It's so easy to judge.

580
00:55:24,380 --> 00:55:27,140
but you never know that lady why she's doing.

581
00:55:27,140 --> 00:55:28,781
Do you think she love it?

582
00:55:30,141 --> 00:55:33,142
Do you think she do it because she have fun?

583
00:55:33,302 --> 00:55:40,464
Maybe some do, but most of them are having another guy behind the other end of the phone.

584
00:55:40,624 --> 00:55:46,336
Most of them, they're afraid they will mask a face and, it's good.

585
00:55:46,336 --> 00:55:51,467
No, no, It's so much dark.

586
00:55:51,543 --> 00:56:05,859
and so much rooted in that we are not aware when we have these patterns that the life is
this or is we cannot see we are blinded we cannot sense and feel in ourselves

587
00:56:07,641 --> 00:56:14,256
So I really choose this to a soul level to do that.

588
00:56:14,597 --> 00:56:16,317
I forgive myself.

589
00:56:16,479 --> 00:56:20,062
I forgive myself because I know this is my power.

590
00:56:20,062 --> 00:56:22,083
This is my strength.

591
00:56:22,424 --> 00:56:36,525
Yes, was horrible, was painful, was the lowest of the lowest, but that was and it is my
strength because this is give me the gasoline to really push further in life.

592
00:56:37,561 --> 00:56:40,372
I forgive myself because I realized this.

593
00:56:40,412 --> 00:56:41,892
I forgive him.

594
00:56:42,753 --> 00:56:44,273
I was forced.

595
00:56:44,653 --> 00:56:45,593
How?

596
00:56:46,534 --> 00:56:54,396
Being with my second husband that time, I was experiencing this for a flash of seconds.

597
00:56:54,396 --> 00:57:05,799
got so many images of how I have been experienced with the ex -Romanian guy, what I go
through, and it's hit me a fee, a pain in my heart that immediately I...

598
00:57:06,051 --> 00:57:12,917
I fall down on my knees and I start to cry and I realize and I say it out loud, I forgive
him.

599
00:57:12,917 --> 00:57:14,107
I forgive him.

600
00:57:14,107 --> 00:57:20,424
Please take this pain away because I realized I was carrying this anger towards him.

601
00:57:20,424 --> 00:57:22,104
How dare he could do that.

602
00:57:22,104 --> 00:57:27,389
But I was forced to see it, to feel it and to understand.

603
00:57:27,470 --> 00:57:29,431
Don't hold on pain.

604
00:57:29,772 --> 00:57:32,714
There was a lesson for your soul to grow.

605
00:57:32,714 --> 00:57:33,835
There was.

606
00:57:33,835 --> 00:57:47,421
your exam and test to go through, to grow, to liberate the essence of a feminine, to let
her to shine out from you.

607
00:57:47,421 --> 00:57:50,582
was what is needed.

608
00:57:50,982 --> 00:57:55,524
What else can be more powerful than this?

609
00:57:55,964 --> 00:58:02,407
To be so suppressed, so down, not knowing, being empty.

610
00:58:02,796 --> 00:58:12,892
And still, listen, having this little voice through so many fears and take a small step
and choose the unknown.

611
00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:17,496
Choose the other path that changed our life.

612
00:58:17,996 --> 00:58:20,598
So yes, I forgive him.

613
00:58:20,918 --> 00:58:22,499
I forgive myself.

614
00:58:24,403 --> 00:58:43,361
And I see this experience that I had as I examine as my life's biggest takeaway because
the wisdom and understanding, it's much precious that I could ever imagine.

615
00:58:45,253 --> 00:58:45,983
Yeah.

616
00:58:50,856 --> 00:58:51,715
Wow.

617
00:58:54,973 --> 00:58:57,314
See, you chose to make sense of it.

618
00:58:57,314 --> 00:59:03,586
You chose to understand that, as you said, it was a test.

619
00:59:03,586 --> 00:59:08,898
I want to come back to that in a second, but you realised, as you said, shit happens.

620
00:59:08,979 --> 00:59:11,239
Completely desensitise it for second.

621
00:59:11,239 --> 00:59:15,101
Shit happens and you chose to get over it.

622
00:59:15,921 --> 00:59:17,452
I'm not belittling anything.

623
00:59:17,452 --> 00:59:19,742
I'm just simplifying it down to that.

624
00:59:24,059 --> 00:59:25,432
It happens, it happened.

625
00:59:25,432 --> 00:59:28,838
And then you've gone, what did I learn from it?

626
00:59:29,541 --> 00:59:31,645
How can I use this to help other people?

627
00:59:31,645 --> 00:59:33,468
How can I make sense of it?

628
00:59:38,441 --> 00:59:40,554
Totally spectacular, I mean...

629
00:59:43,249 --> 00:59:45,120
I have no idea how you managed to do that.

630
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:49,531
I mean, you've explained it, but it's still, can't, I can't begin to wrap my head around
that.

631
00:59:52,132 --> 00:59:56,893
let's go back to how you made sense of it as a test.

632
00:59:56,893 --> 00:59:58,943
Cause you you've alluded to coming here.

633
00:59:58,943 --> 01:00:00,694
This was your purpose.

634
01:00:00,754 --> 01:00:10,157
So let's take that back a little bit because you're, you're bringing into this a really
interesting conversation about what we are.

635
01:00:10,157 --> 01:00:12,237
You know, I'm not just a meat sack.

636
01:00:12,253 --> 01:00:21,678
So I think this is really important because not everybody knows what you're talking about
and there certainly there may be a bit of confusion because what you're about to

637
01:00:21,678 --> 01:00:25,253
articulate took me a long time to get my around my head.

638
01:00:25,253 --> 01:00:27,757
So tell me a bit about that.

639
01:00:29,411 --> 01:00:31,820
What we are and who we are.

640
01:00:34,299 --> 01:00:35,022
Thanks

641
01:00:38,339 --> 01:00:41,367
We are a fractal of divinity.

642
01:00:41,367 --> 01:00:45,256
We are a spark of light.

643
01:00:45,256 --> 01:00:46,819
That is our soul.

644
01:00:48,367 --> 01:00:58,014
We have been chosen to come on Earth to graduate because the Earth is the school of the
universe.

645
01:00:58,515 --> 01:01:09,323
Because only here on Earth can see so many, can experience so many varieties of feelings
and so on.

646
01:01:11,651 --> 01:01:21,433
We are a soul that knows only the sovereignty, compassion, and conditioned love.

647
01:01:23,675 --> 01:01:34,164
And that soul, once it's coming on earth, it's having this filter of forgetting.

648
01:01:34,164 --> 01:01:37,766
Don't remember anything, who they are, what they are.

649
01:01:38,187 --> 01:01:41,869
They're just, it's taking off this remembering.

650
01:01:42,450 --> 01:01:47,494
So then we go in life as a human being.

651
01:01:47,494 --> 01:01:53,759
So what we are is divine in a human body, how you can feel that.

652
01:01:55,171 --> 01:02:04,348
You can feel it by connecting with yourself because as summation that's Kundalini that you
feel is you in a physical body.

653
01:02:04,348 --> 01:02:11,142
That's how you experience being in a physical body is that pleasure that all talk about
and run after it.

654
01:02:11,142 --> 01:02:15,656
It's you feeling yourself in a human body.

655
01:02:15,656 --> 01:02:18,067
Of course, it's place, please.

656
01:02:18,067 --> 01:02:20,159
Of course, it's wonderful.

657
01:02:20,159 --> 01:02:23,791
I saw has a body.

658
01:02:24,141 --> 01:02:27,352
It doesn't matter where this you saw.

659
01:02:27,352 --> 01:02:28,833
So that's what we are.

660
01:02:28,833 --> 01:02:30,994
It's not what we see in the mirror.

661
01:02:31,874 --> 01:02:36,036
It's something what we feel deep inside ourselves.

662
01:02:36,976 --> 01:02:40,878
That's who we are, divine in a human body.

663
01:02:40,938 --> 01:02:49,862
But we forget and we create and we are on this programming or autopilot based on the
patterns that we carry, based on the trauma.

664
01:02:49,862 --> 01:02:53,123
And then we create the personality and then we make

665
01:02:53,669 --> 01:02:54,740
problems over problems.

666
01:02:54,740 --> 01:03:03,052
And then we end up in a corner where there is the end for some of them, also the end
because there is no way to get out.

667
01:03:03,052 --> 01:03:08,759
So down on the low because it's on the programming, on the pattern, on the trauma.

668
01:03:11,001 --> 01:03:24,592
So some of us it's luckily to have so much strength to be, to feel in the bigness that
there is something more.

669
01:03:24,592 --> 01:03:33,890
I don't know what is, but there's something more for me was getting in touch with this
unconditioned love that I was like, I don't know.

670
01:03:33,890 --> 01:03:39,675
It's like, it's like, I get, I get crazy on find it out.

671
01:03:39,675 --> 01:03:40,187
I get

672
01:03:40,187 --> 01:03:44,631
crazy on reading for months to understand what is that.

673
01:03:44,631 --> 01:03:45,682
That's me.

674
01:03:45,682 --> 01:03:51,597
I felt myself, the love that I am, the unconditioned love.

675
01:03:51,597 --> 01:03:55,820
I felt my body that I am have another.

676
01:03:56,201 --> 01:03:59,825
As a soul being, we are also multi -dimensional.

677
01:03:59,825 --> 01:04:03,248
We are also traveling constellation to constellation.

678
01:04:03,248 --> 01:04:07,031
Then we pump here because we need to help humanity is another story.

679
01:04:07,031 --> 01:04:07,691
But

680
01:04:08,805 --> 01:04:16,521
for me is given to have the experience of having this Andromedan body myself on another
Andromedan.

681
01:04:16,521 --> 01:04:19,343
I felt this Andromeda body.

682
01:04:19,343 --> 01:04:29,169
some people have this trait that we hold, it's helping us to move, to wake up, to choose
something.

683
01:04:29,190 --> 01:04:32,151
We are, you cannot see what we are.

684
01:04:32,172 --> 01:04:33,632
We can feel it.

685
01:04:34,253 --> 01:04:37,165
We can see it maybe through our expression.

686
01:04:38,095 --> 01:04:43,978
to our personality after we deal with our own wounds and problems.

687
01:04:43,978 --> 01:04:47,940
We will always do, we will always go to healing and healing process.

688
01:04:47,940 --> 01:04:51,382
There is a generation, we have a lineage to heal.

689
01:04:51,382 --> 01:04:54,704
But at least you are on a point where I am aware.

690
01:04:56,465 --> 01:04:57,586
that's a pattern.

691
01:04:57,586 --> 01:04:59,707
okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, I take other.

692
01:04:59,707 --> 01:05:07,417
So we are aware that we are two in one, the darkness, the light in Yin and Yang, that's
who we are here.

693
01:05:07,417 --> 01:05:10,229
and it's up to us who we are feeding.

694
01:05:11,171 --> 01:05:12,812
So that's what we are.

695
01:05:12,812 --> 01:05:28,426
We are a polarity in oneness, but it's up to our awareness to choose that spark, that
unconditioned love, that compassion.

696
01:05:29,708 --> 01:05:33,931
And yeah, the universe that we are, that yeah, it's.

697
01:05:34,725 --> 01:05:36,996
To speak about soul is so much more.

698
01:05:36,996 --> 01:05:41,117
I can talk days and nights because I'm so fascinated.

699
01:05:42,137 --> 01:05:52,100
You see, we are on Earth right now and where the time is to graduate, to graduate to a
soul level.

700
01:05:52,100 --> 01:05:57,841
We are so aware that there will be a mass living this planet.

701
01:05:57,841 --> 01:06:04,743
We are so aware that there will be few left because there is no

702
01:06:06,267 --> 01:06:20,547
space when you don't raise your own vibration that means deal with your own trauma raise
your vibration make space for the light in your body make space for your own cells more

703
01:06:20,547 --> 01:06:34,307
because it's like we garbage 24 7 it's our patterns it's our trauma that's our garbage and
how can you make space for light in the middle of the garbage there is no way so you have

704
01:06:34,307 --> 01:06:34,747
to

705
01:06:34,747 --> 01:06:41,850
throw out the trash, clean up, silence, and then you make more and more and take
decisions.

706
01:06:41,850 --> 01:06:46,672
More fearful they are, more to the right direction is taking you.

707
01:06:47,453 --> 01:06:54,555
We are fearful as a being, but we are afraid because of this, because we have a human
brain.

708
01:06:54,816 --> 01:06:59,177
But what is here, the brain, have no capacity to comprehend.

709
01:06:59,658 --> 01:07:02,899
And what is here, it's so much huge.

710
01:07:04,495 --> 01:07:08,977
Don't even the human brain can put something together.

711
01:07:08,977 --> 01:07:11,638
It's so much huge.

712
01:07:11,818 --> 01:07:15,399
So I'm you, you are me.

713
01:07:15,399 --> 01:07:21,502
We are together because coming from the same place, we carry the same value.

714
01:07:21,542 --> 01:07:25,703
Love, compassion, unity, consciousness.

715
01:07:26,844 --> 01:07:28,605
This is who we are.

716
01:07:28,605 --> 01:07:34,305
There is no separation and there is no what we are separating from being here on earth.

717
01:07:34,305 --> 01:07:38,482
our personality, the way we think, our values and so on.

718
01:07:38,482 --> 01:07:42,288
And again, it's not a separation, but it's making us more different.

719
01:07:42,288 --> 01:07:47,545
This is you and this is me, you see, but in reality there is no difference.

720
01:07:49,741 --> 01:08:01,034
So when two people come together and they see each other from the soul level, that human
aspect of who we are disappears.

721
01:08:01,034 --> 01:08:03,455
Because then we talk just soul to soul.

722
01:08:03,455 --> 01:08:12,697
And then we may even make fun about our own trauma because you are a soul, you realize,
you understand it.

723
01:08:13,498 --> 01:08:19,039
So then it's coming this comprehension.

724
01:08:19,551 --> 01:08:25,501
my god, I come on this on planet earth, holy moly, like what?

725
01:08:26,084 --> 01:08:27,665
You see what?

726
01:08:28,147 --> 01:08:30,731
Yeah, it's almost my words are.

727
01:08:34,021 --> 01:08:38,693
So that's what we are, divine in a human body.

728
01:08:39,074 --> 01:08:51,110
But the one thing to take is to remember always that woman, woman, only woman, divine
feminine, the feminine energy, again, we don't speak again more agenda, but let's say the

729
01:08:51,110 --> 01:08:57,363
divine feminine, the feminine energy is the one that is.

730
01:08:59,437 --> 01:09:08,832
opened the gauge to divinity, to the spirituality and who can assist men to that road.

731
01:09:09,833 --> 01:09:17,156
So she is the leader in the new age because she is that divine.

732
01:09:17,156 --> 01:09:22,669
She is more aware of her beingness and what she is and why she come here on earth.

733
01:09:25,913 --> 01:09:26,689
Yeah.

734
01:09:27,847 --> 01:09:29,488
Wow, thank you.

735
01:09:32,989 --> 01:09:34,509
We could talk all day.

736
01:09:34,770 --> 01:09:35,430
really could.

737
01:09:35,430 --> 01:09:41,272
And I think you've touched on some really fascinating things.

738
01:09:41,633 --> 01:09:48,275
I still think something around the soul.

739
01:09:48,296 --> 01:09:55,438
we are here in a human existence to learn, to experience.

740
01:09:56,419 --> 01:09:58,900
Why do we have to forget?

741
01:09:58,900 --> 01:10:01,071
Why do we have to forget that

742
01:10:01,565 --> 01:10:03,887
this love, this connection.

743
01:10:05,930 --> 01:10:08,714
That sounds kind of, let's say perverse.

744
01:10:08,714 --> 01:10:10,736
It sounds kind of really strange.

745
01:10:10,736 --> 01:10:13,760
So there is a reason for it, but why are we doing that?

746
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:15,171
Why does that happen?

747
01:10:16,293 --> 01:10:19,044
How can you know your strength?

748
01:10:19,484 --> 01:10:33,550
How can you know your own inner power if not you forgetting, walking blind, going through
hell and back and then remembering who you are?

749
01:10:33,910 --> 01:10:42,774
That's why we forget because it's up to us to remember and to bring that life.

750
01:10:43,934 --> 01:10:45,795
Yes, it seems so

751
01:10:45,901 --> 01:10:59,967
psychopath like why should we go through so much hell it's because we have to remember
this new generation by the way you saw it they're so open because the veil is thinner and

752
01:10:59,967 --> 01:11:15,123
they're more open but the leaders or the beginners or the front line you know it's it's it
has because that's the power what it stands in forgetting walking blind to pain

753
01:11:15,629 --> 01:11:33,910
choosing to get and to overcome that and then remembering is only after you go through and
finish that you get a but after you go out but that is the fascinating and the same time

754
01:11:33,910 --> 01:11:43,545
from the human perspective like boom like that's nuts why do you ever like who will put
their children in such a way you know who will

755
01:11:43,791 --> 01:11:48,558
But it's because of our strength, delight that we carry.

756
01:11:48,558 --> 01:11:56,809
That's why delight forgets that is a light and is walking blind in the darkness and it
thinks.

757
01:11:57,151 --> 01:12:00,494
But there is sense, the power, if this makes sense.

758
01:12:02,254 --> 01:12:03,974
That's why we forget.

759
01:12:04,215 --> 01:12:10,277
Because if we know what we are and how we are, we will just, no, no, there will not be
lesson.

760
01:12:10,277 --> 01:12:12,797
There will not be lessons.

761
01:12:12,898 --> 01:12:20,160
You will not experience a human life or human experience because you know who you are and
you will cut the bullshit immediately.

762
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:24,562
You will put boundaries for you three years old that you are saying, no, I don't want
this.

763
01:12:24,562 --> 01:12:26,362
Close the door, get out.

764
01:12:26,382 --> 01:12:28,823
So there is nothing to learn.

765
01:12:31,451 --> 01:12:37,633
So we have to go to pain because another trick, only pain awakens the soul.

766
01:12:39,673 --> 01:12:42,464
We have to go to pain to awaken the soul.

767
01:12:44,933 --> 01:13:04,759
So that's why we go to this forgetting to remember, to graduate and to after graduating to
mastering that of who we are here on earth in this physical body, mastering and share it.

768
01:13:07,862 --> 01:13:13,806
I love that because it takes away the pain.

769
01:13:14,747 --> 01:13:16,769
It takes away all that pain.

770
01:13:16,769 --> 01:13:24,436
I cannot comprehend what you chose to put yourself through.

771
01:13:24,436 --> 01:13:27,157
Let's use that language.

772
01:13:27,438 --> 01:13:35,965
Because that's what you chose and what has come out the other side is one of the more
beautiful

773
01:13:36,361 --> 01:13:36,961
powerful.

774
01:13:36,961 --> 01:13:39,003
mean, I can feel your energy.

775
01:13:39,003 --> 01:13:41,364
You you've you've you've gone, yeah, done that.

776
01:13:41,364 --> 01:13:42,165
Been there, done that.

777
01:13:42,165 --> 01:13:44,807
Got the scars, the wounds, the trauma.

778
01:13:44,807 --> 01:13:46,308
And then you've just shaken that off.

779
01:13:46,308 --> 01:13:53,673
And now you're saying, hey, daughter, hey, sister, hey, mother, you can get through this.

780
01:13:53,673 --> 01:13:58,356
You know, you're empowered and you're also going, hey, men, you stop it.

781
01:13:58,356 --> 01:14:05,991
And that that is remarkable, because what you've shared with me today, I need to look at
my life and how I treat women.

782
01:14:05,991 --> 01:14:12,816
and I thought I was quite good and probably not as good as I should have been and
certainly my past.

783
01:14:16,445 --> 01:14:17,325
Yeah.

784
01:14:17,345 --> 01:14:23,108
And, you know, my, my journey, somebody asked me, you know, why were you an addict?

785
01:14:23,108 --> 01:14:25,349
And I just said, so I could help people.

786
01:14:25,850 --> 01:14:32,713
And then all the hackles, you know, the hairs on the back of my neck, because yeah, I went
through that, not comparing, I went through that.

787
01:14:32,713 --> 01:14:35,934
So I've got an understanding of what that shit is like.

788
01:14:37,595 --> 01:14:42,097
now I'm running this podcast, having incredible conversations.

789
01:14:42,489 --> 01:14:43,979
Yes, that's why...

790
01:14:43,979 --> 01:14:45,722
yeah, sorry.

791
01:14:45,722 --> 01:14:46,333
that's all right.

792
01:14:46,333 --> 01:14:47,714
No.

793
01:14:47,714 --> 01:15:06,887
So we choose, then we forget, then we suffer, then we choose not to suffer, and we learn
from it, and the hurt goes away, and then we can help other people make sense of it.

794
01:15:08,495 --> 01:15:16,844
Yeah, because now you are the light that has to shine, so will shine upon others, so
others will remember.

795
01:15:16,844 --> 01:15:23,771
So you are the light for others, so others will see you as the example that you...

796
01:15:24,192 --> 01:15:27,075
So if He could do it, I can too.

797
01:15:27,075 --> 01:15:31,459
So now you are that assistance for others.

798
01:15:34,245 --> 01:15:35,326
Utterly beautiful.

799
01:15:35,326 --> 01:15:36,636
And that's what you've done here.

800
01:15:36,636 --> 01:15:44,030
You have shared the most harrowing story I've heard and you're not bitter.

801
01:15:44,351 --> 01:15:46,312
You're not.

802
01:15:46,312 --> 01:15:49,434
It's patently obvious.

803
01:15:50,095 --> 01:15:55,157
I mean, I wondered whether I should ask, should you forgive a man because of the
conversation?

804
01:15:56,098 --> 01:16:00,580
And you just said yes, because it's helped you understand.

805
01:16:02,804 --> 01:16:03,905
Exactly.

806
01:16:04,506 --> 01:16:09,460
And again, about I don't want people to feel bad about themselves.

807
01:16:09,460 --> 01:16:12,752
my gosh, what I did like, it's a lesson.

808
01:16:12,752 --> 01:16:14,794
Like, okay, I did a mess.

809
01:16:14,794 --> 01:16:16,235
I don't know better.

810
01:16:16,235 --> 01:16:18,087
I don't know that I have to do this.

811
01:16:18,087 --> 01:16:18,807
Who teach?

812
01:16:18,807 --> 01:16:19,738
Who told us?

813
01:16:19,738 --> 01:16:23,361
Like who could tell us, hey, have another behavior?

814
01:16:23,361 --> 01:16:25,162
No, we learn now.

815
01:16:25,203 --> 01:16:30,991
But we have to go to do the bullshit to realize like, that's not nice.

816
01:16:30,991 --> 01:16:31,991
Ouch!

817
01:16:33,133 --> 01:16:43,319
okay, okay, then this is another, there is another way we have to go to because otherwise
you, you will not have it as an experience, you know, on your own physical body to

818
01:16:43,319 --> 01:16:45,240
understand, to feel it.

819
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:47,562
Only put your feet there.

820
01:16:47,562 --> 01:16:55,687
You have the experience because only through the experience we learn, not from reading the
books.

821
01:16:57,409 --> 01:17:13,479
only when you body was put in that only then you comprehend so as you said you are here to
assist others overcoming the addiction i also feel i come here to assist the woman to

822
01:17:13,479 --> 01:17:27,105
raise up from the mud from the from this forgetting band i see like i see like humans have
this band on the eyes and they're just walking through the life

823
01:17:27,105 --> 01:17:32,398
so unaware of each other, of itself.

824
01:17:32,658 --> 01:17:43,944
So I'm here to assist him to remember to men and women what we are, who we are, and to
choose differently.

825
01:17:43,944 --> 01:17:46,506
Now that you know, choose differently.

826
01:17:46,506 --> 01:17:51,268
It's okay you don't knew, it's okay you did what you did because you don't knew it.

827
01:17:51,268 --> 01:17:52,809
How couldn't you knew it?

828
01:17:52,809 --> 01:17:56,311
But now that you know, choose differently.

829
01:18:00,745 --> 01:18:02,045
Please help men.

830
01:18:02,446 --> 01:18:12,231
How can, how can us men learn from your wisdom and what you're sharing?

831
01:18:12,231 --> 01:18:25,098
Because as I said, I've, I'm going to sit down and with this new awareness, realise what
I, how I have negatively impacted my female friends and relationships.

832
01:18:25,098 --> 01:18:30,421
So how can I start to, how can we start to understand

833
01:18:32,189 --> 01:18:42,154
Let's just say it, the value of the feminine because it's a girlfriend, it's a partner,
it's a wife, it's a she, it, she is what I mean.

834
01:18:42,495 --> 01:18:46,947
That is a person and being the male, yes, we have that.

835
01:18:46,947 --> 01:18:50,019
There is that hierarchy, that patriarchy.

836
01:18:50,019 --> 01:19:01,955
How can I start to equalize or even, yes, how can I start to equalize and understand the
value, the beauty of the divine feminine?

837
01:19:04,485 --> 01:19:10,137
First, come close to yourself as a man.

838
01:19:12,301 --> 01:19:21,266
Once you come close to yourself, you will have more glimpse of understanding who is the
other person close to you.

839
01:19:25,251 --> 01:19:33,557
One man, it's time for men to come home and to their hearts because there's so much here.

840
01:19:34,438 --> 01:19:39,061
Because men function from this place, which is that's how it's built.

841
01:19:39,081 --> 01:19:41,523
But then everything is going here.

842
01:19:41,523 --> 01:19:52,921
It's time to drop down into the heart because then there, there is the answers for each
individual and their own each individual experience.

843
01:19:54,639 --> 01:20:00,404
You have to understand that you was not here on earth if a woman was not making you.

844
01:20:00,404 --> 01:20:07,329
If a woman don't give you birth, you could not stand in this physical body with this feet
on earth.

845
01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:14,615
That's the first sign to understand that, whoa, if my mom was not here, I was not here
either.

846
01:20:15,476 --> 01:20:23,759
So from there to comprehend the gift, because a woman giving birth to souls,

847
01:20:23,759 --> 01:20:26,483
not to humans, to souls.

848
01:20:27,787 --> 01:20:30,241
So from there you have to pay attention.

849
01:20:32,385 --> 01:20:39,858
once a man is dropping into his heart is having this emotional intelligence

850
01:20:41,765 --> 01:20:45,138
then they know how to deal with their own...

851
01:20:46,019 --> 01:20:47,200
...gabridge.

852
01:20:48,041 --> 01:20:49,382
Solve that.

853
01:20:50,083 --> 01:20:58,701
And then they can open themselves to communicate because not many know to communicate what
they feel.

854
01:21:00,271 --> 01:21:03,272
So that's the problem as well as communication.

855
01:21:03,272 --> 01:21:07,674
But first you have to have your emotional intelligence.

856
01:21:08,154 --> 01:21:14,236
If that is not there, you cannot come close to our awakened woman.

857
01:21:14,276 --> 01:21:15,977
It's not possible.

858
01:21:16,396 --> 01:21:18,218
She will feel you from afar.

859
01:21:18,218 --> 01:21:21,849
She will say, thank you, nice to meet you, hi, hi.

860
01:21:23,437 --> 01:21:30,970
So, but that's true because the women in tune with themselves, they just smile from a
while like, whoa, get away.

861
01:21:30,970 --> 01:21:33,113
It's just feeling so much.

862
01:21:35,075 --> 01:21:37,068
Now another thing for men.

863
01:21:39,351 --> 01:21:52,153
engaging with a woman it's so important first of all to be friends i hear like you cannot
be a couple after you was a friend but only in a friendship relationship you can be more

864
01:21:52,153 --> 01:22:05,807
of yourself than jumping immediately in a connection here's my boyfriend i need to be nice
i need to then then then then you hide yourself so it's good before to jump in that

865
01:22:05,807 --> 01:22:13,734
place of intimacy and sharing both energies, learn to know each other as a friend.

866
01:22:13,854 --> 01:22:14,635
Yeah, I love you.

867
01:22:14,635 --> 01:22:19,539
I like, but learn and then something else is opening.

868
01:22:19,780 --> 01:22:32,240
I see this as a future connection where people will just be friends, communicating,
feeling, knowing that they are meant for each other, but still keep apart because they

869
01:22:32,240 --> 01:22:33,191
know

870
01:22:33,829 --> 01:22:41,463
jumping to the next level is just only breaking the relationship so fast, it's really
breaking it.

871
01:22:41,463 --> 01:22:43,924
It's twisted but it's really breaking it.

872
01:22:43,984 --> 01:22:47,746
Knowing each other in a friendship you can be more yourself.

873
01:22:48,566 --> 01:22:58,111
And then when you feel ready, when woman, when woman is ready, she will tell you, not men
asking.

874
01:22:58,111 --> 01:23:02,582
and try to play with the mind and sneaky nice words.

875
01:23:02,582 --> 01:23:04,933
it's okay come on just a little bit.

876
01:23:04,973 --> 01:23:06,203
Yeah exactly.

877
01:23:06,203 --> 01:23:18,036
Woman has to let you in not you force the door and kick into the door as if you have to go
in as if this is your place.

878
01:23:18,036 --> 01:23:22,437
She has to let you so have to talk to her.

879
01:23:23,158 --> 01:23:28,091
Ask woman she knows connecting being connected with herself.

880
01:23:28,091 --> 01:23:32,571
She knows, dear men, please come home.

881
01:23:32,631 --> 01:23:35,991
Come home into your heart.

882
01:23:36,951 --> 01:23:49,531
Connect with your own emotions so you will understand the woman by your side, so she can
feel safe to open more of herself.

883
01:23:50,211 --> 01:23:56,461
We live in a world where 90 % or 95 % of the connections

884
01:23:56,461 --> 01:24:06,637
are so surface -based, just needs to care just that, but their deepnesses is not there.

885
01:24:06,817 --> 01:24:14,142
And again, it's just forgetting and then going with life because we all have like, this is
the life, what can I do?

886
01:24:14,142 --> 01:24:15,562
I cannot break it.

887
01:24:15,963 --> 01:24:22,967
It's again our own patterns and belief systems that are we stuck in and that's sitting in
our body.

888
01:24:25,433 --> 01:24:30,665
So come home, I can say, come home.

889
01:24:34,065 --> 01:24:35,696
I think that is, that's just beautiful.

890
01:24:35,696 --> 01:24:35,947
Yeah.

891
01:24:35,947 --> 01:24:36,900
Come home.

892
01:24:37,977 --> 01:24:43,430
Really, the women all that they need, they need a man to be home.

893
01:24:44,031 --> 01:24:44,691
That's all.

894
01:24:44,691 --> 01:24:46,732
And then now she knows what to do.

895
01:24:46,732 --> 01:24:49,594
Just you be home and she knows what to do.

896
01:24:49,594 --> 01:24:50,955
Just be home.

897
01:24:51,015 --> 01:24:53,036
Be present, be there.

898
01:24:53,176 --> 01:24:54,997
Feel, feel her.

899
01:24:55,538 --> 01:24:58,119
Don't so much listen, feel her.

900
01:25:01,455 --> 01:25:09,551
And then you also will know when you are connecting with your own feelings and your own
intelligence, you will feel her, you will know.

901
01:25:09,551 --> 01:25:14,937
And that, that's what makes beauty in a relationship.

902
01:25:20,233 --> 01:25:21,113
Thank you.

903
01:25:22,885 --> 01:25:23,752
Thank

904
01:25:29,181 --> 01:25:32,565
That was just beautiful.

905
01:25:34,108 --> 01:25:38,132
I really have no, I cannot add anything to that.

906
01:25:39,535 --> 01:25:46,003
Dare I ask you what your superpower is from overcoming hell?

907
01:25:50,907 --> 01:25:52,920
My superpower is the...

908
01:25:54,861 --> 01:26:00,117
energetic generator, if I can call it that, that I carry.

909
01:26:00,799 --> 01:26:02,600
That's my superpower.

910
01:26:02,661 --> 01:26:06,305
It's my own sexual energy.

911
01:26:07,407 --> 01:26:08,909
That's my superpower.

912
01:26:08,909 --> 01:26:11,191
Again, we don't talk about sex.

913
01:26:11,873 --> 01:26:14,055
We talk about the essence.

914
01:26:15,951 --> 01:26:20,534
That's my superpower because with that I can heal myself.

915
01:26:21,156 --> 01:26:29,182
I can assist others to energetically work to help others, assist others in their own
process.

916
01:26:29,182 --> 01:26:31,364
I need those energies.

917
01:26:32,625 --> 01:26:34,197
That is the superpower.

918
01:26:34,197 --> 01:26:39,771
We need that because that's our unlimited tank of resource.

919
01:26:41,957 --> 01:26:44,892
So that's my superpower today.

920
01:26:44,933 --> 01:26:46,275
Without that...

921
01:26:51,129 --> 01:26:53,060
Yeah, it's the...

922
01:26:53,781 --> 01:27:04,910
You see, you see, it's like, you know, when a ball is pulled down, down into the water and
down and more down and more down and suddenly your card is boom!

923
01:27:04,910 --> 01:27:09,634
It goes so high, almost like, whoa, where are you get lost?

924
01:27:10,195 --> 01:27:16,319
So I want to remember more painful experience you have go through.

925
01:27:17,241 --> 01:27:20,833
More power and light you hold.

926
01:27:22,267 --> 01:27:30,185
The more down in this life you were unfilled, the more strong soul you are.

927
01:27:35,237 --> 01:27:36,402
That's who we are.

928
01:27:38,313 --> 01:27:39,119
Thank you.

929
01:27:44,745 --> 01:27:45,597
Thank you, Juliana.

930
01:27:45,597 --> 01:27:46,488
was...

931
01:27:47,311 --> 01:27:48,763
Yeah, thank you.

932
01:27:49,275 --> 01:27:50,640
Thank you, Hamish.

933
01:27:51,510 --> 01:27:52,844
Thank you so much.

934
01:27:54,649 --> 01:27:55,521
Yeah.

935
01:27:56,530 --> 01:28:00,890
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Crucible: Conversations for the Curious.

936
01:28:00,890 --> 01:28:09,530
If these powerful stories of transformation resonated with you, be sure to like, subscribe
and share this show with anyone who you think could do with a dose of inspiration for

937
01:28:09,530 --> 01:28:10,470
their own journey.

938
01:28:10,470 --> 01:28:17,050
I would really appreciate it if you could make any comments on your favourite podcast
platform as well, that helps me reach more people.

939
01:28:17,050 --> 01:28:20,510
All the important links and information are in the show notes below.

940
01:28:20,510 --> 01:28:23,594
Thank you very much for listening and catch up with you soon.