WEBVTT 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:16.645 This is the Sandals Church Podcast, a place for real people with real struggles learning to follow Jesus. Wherever you are right now, driving, working, or trying to make it through the day, we are really glad you're here. Let's get into today's message. 00:00:21.605 --> 00:00:34.660 Let me ask you a question. What are you like when you really want something? Do you know what you're like? A couple weeks ago, I stopped to charge my car. I was out and about running some errands. 00:00:34.900 --> 00:00:43.795 And that has become like some me time, honestly. Like, I get a snack. I pull in. I charge. I just watch a show, listen to a podcast, kinda check out for a minute. 00:00:43.795 --> 00:01:07.900 And as I'm sitting there just enjoying my alone time, I look up to see there's a line of cars that have converged, but they haven't really made a line. It's kinda like this chaotic mess of cars waiting for us to finish charging. And so I see something that I've never seen before. I see a woman get out of her car and stand there like this, looking at all the cars charging. And I'm like, just eat my chicken nugget in peace. 00:01:09.625 --> 00:01:18.905 And there's all these cars waiting. I didn't know who got there first. And the next thing I know, the guy next to me is done. So he gets out to unplug his car and she comes up. She goes, Are you done? 00:01:18.985 --> 00:01:37.510 He goes, Yeah. And she just moves out of the way just a little bit for him to get his car through. And then, guys, I'm not making this up, she gets into the parking space and starts directing traffic. She, like, puts her hands up to the other cars. She tells the girl in her car to get around to the driver's side, motions her into the spot. 00:01:37.510 --> 00:01:48.925 And I see this other guy looking at him like, I'm about to finish this nugget and get out. There's about to be a full on bra at the charging station. But why did she do that? Because she wanted it. She wanted the spot. 00:01:48.925 --> 00:02:09.385 She wanted to go first. Now before before I get too judgmental, a couple weeks prior to that, I was waiting to charge. I did the right thing. I made a line, and people did the right thing by getting in line. And I was next, and I watch a car finish, move out, and a girl zooms past the line, goes to pull in. 00:02:09.385 --> 00:02:22.090 A what? I didn't get out of my car. I didn't, like, make a scene. I just drove up and said, did you see the line that we were all waiting to charge? She's like, No, I'm so sorry. 00:02:22.090 --> 00:02:26.490 I just need five minutes. Can I have five minutes? I was like, No. No, I didn't. I didn't. 00:02:26.970 --> 00:02:34.410 I was like, Yeah, take your five minutes. Right? But why was I mad? Why was I irritated? Because I wanted it. 00:02:34.905 --> 00:02:54.950 What are you like when you really want something? Have you ever wanted something so badly that you surprised yourself how you acted to get it? Is there a version of you that only comes out when you really want something? Have you ever looked back and thought, why did I act like that? Here's the thing. 00:02:55.030 --> 00:03:03.510 We all want something. We all want things. And they go deeper than wanting to charge your car. We want relationships. We want financial security. 00:03:03.510 --> 00:03:19.675 We want opportunities, success. We want good things for the people that we love. Listen, wanting something isn't inherently wrong. But our desires have a way of revealing what's really going on inside of us. Sometimes we want something we shouldn't. 00:03:20.450 --> 00:03:46.955 Other times we want something good, but it begins to have an unhealthy influence over us. And maybe when this happens, we begin to believe something that can be subtle but very significant. Here's what it is. I need more to be okay. Have you ever convinced yourself that if you could just get that one thing, you'd finally be happy, you'd finally be content, you'd be good, you'd be grateful? 00:03:48.155 --> 00:04:08.965 God has a lot to say about what we want and who we become when we want something. So why should you care about this? Because God cares. And it's so important that he introduces this idea to us as one of the 10 commandments. The 10 commandments reveal a lot about who God is and about how God thinks we should live our lives. 00:04:08.965 --> 00:04:28.290 So what does God say about our wants? We get through the list of the 10 commandments and we get to number 10. Exodus twenty seventeen says this, you must not covet. That means to want something that is not rightfully yours to have, your neighbor's house. And then God, like, goes a little deeper. 00:04:28.290 --> 00:04:44.475 You must not covet your neighbor's wife, their male or female servant, ox or donkey. Don't be wanting their donkey. Okay? Or anything else that belongs to your neighbor. There's this observation I have when I was reading this. 00:04:44.475 --> 00:04:51.690 Do not do this. Do not have other gods before me. Do not take my name in vain. Do not commit adultery. Do all of these things. 00:04:51.690 --> 00:05:08.845 And then we get to number 10 and here's what we see. God does not just care about what we do. He cares about what we desire. Desire and coveting, this can all be happening inside of us. God cares about what's happening inside of us even when nobody else sees. 00:05:09.725 --> 00:05:30.835 Coveting and greed are very similar. So look at what Jesus says when we get to the New Testament. This is God himself, Jesus, talking to us. He says, It is what comes from inside that defiles you. For from within, out of a person's heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery. 00:05:30.835 --> 00:05:48.830 Here's the word, greed. This has the idea of grasping desire for what one does not rightfully possess. There's a longer list there. Wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these things, what? 00:05:48.830 --> 00:06:07.605 They come from within. They are what defile you. Here's what I want you to hear today. God is not asking us to live without desires, but he does want to teach us what to do with them. At the heart of coveting in greed is something I'm calling disordered desire. 00:06:09.125 --> 00:06:28.545 Wanting something we shouldn't or wanting something more than we should. Simply put, it's a desire that has gotten out of its rightful place. It's out of order. There's a joke in my house that when mom gets home, everybody jumps up and starts tidying up, putting stuff away. These fools can live in chaos and clutter. 00:06:28.545 --> 00:06:43.780 I can't. I want everything in order. This clutter and chaos in my house, God is saying, But what about your heart? What makes a desire disordered? Well, first, it can be disordered because of what we want. 00:06:44.180 --> 00:07:05.175 We want something that isn't ours to have. We want something that requires us to violate what we know is right. It can also be disordered because of who we become when we want it. We want something good, but it becomes too important. It begins to define our worth, our happiness, our security, our identity. 00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:15.840 We allow it to influence in ways it shouldn't. Some examples. Is it wrong to want a husband? No. But is it wrong to want her husband? 00:07:15.840 --> 00:07:29.515 Yes. Just to make that clear. When Adam and I were newly engaged, I was sitting down with a friend. I was, like, talking. I was so excited to be a wife, to be Adam's wife, to plan a wedding. 00:07:29.515 --> 00:07:40.340 And she sort of zoned out for a minute. Was like, it's like, yeah, it's gonna be awesome to be married to Adam. Started like... And I was like, hey, sis, fall back. Only one of us is about to figure out what that's like. 00:07:40.340 --> 00:07:50.825 Okay? Is it wrong to want a better job? No. Is it wrong to make yourself sound like Elon Musk while you're applying? Well, you build rockets. 00:07:50.825 --> 00:07:58.345 We're just looking for someone to cover the night shift. You know? Like, we don't... Is it wrong to want a little extra money? No. 00:07:58.985 --> 00:08:22.375 But it's probably not a righteous prayer to pray for grandma might have passed a little earlier so you can get it. That's a problem. These things well up inside of us. Why does God care? Listen, because what if the things that God tells us not to do aren't simply things he wants to keep us from, but things he knows can keep us from him. 00:08:22.375 --> 00:08:39.350 Amen. What we allow ourselves to desire can have a greater impact on us than we realize. Here is what disorder desires can do. They can affect our decisions. They can compromise our character. 00:08:40.470 --> 00:09:01.455 What are you willing to do to get what you want? Listen to James one fourteen-fifteen. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. 00:09:01.455 --> 00:09:19.460 What are you willing to do to get what you want? When I took Addison, my daughter, to the store one day, she was about three or four. And they're against us as parents at the store because you're checking out and all the candy is at their eye level. So she hadn't been good that day. She wasn't getting a treat. 00:09:19.620 --> 00:09:28.145 I'm putting the groceries on the conveyor belt. She's like, Mom, can I get some candy? I said, Not today. We're gonna get home, dinner, bath, peace out. That's what we're doing today. 00:09:28.145 --> 00:09:40.910 So she was quiet. So loaded her right... You know, she was like in the little car, loaded her in, went out to the car, put my... Put her in a car seat, put my groceries in the back, get in the driver's seat, turn around. She's eating candy. 00:09:41.070 --> 00:09:54.925 I said, where did you get that? The store. I said, you you you stole that? You you took that? Why did you do that? 00:09:54.925 --> 00:10:12.450 She looked right at me and said, because I wanted it. I had this moment where I'm like, I'm not looking at my toddler. I'm looking at, like, she's in an orange jumpsuit doing, like, doing 20 to life for Grand Theft Auto. I I was shook. Right? 00:10:12.450 --> 00:10:41.410 She wanted it. That's what that looks like at four, but what about 40? A disordered desire can lead us toward temptation. That desire can lead us to make a terrible decision, and that can lead to something devastating, which is why Proverbs four twenty three says, Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. How are we doing guarding our hearts? 00:10:41.970 --> 00:11:23.365 Let me tell you, in twenty five years of being in ministry, the hardest conversations are when I'm sitting with a person in the aftermath of devastating circumstances, them wondering how they got there and often tracing it back to a desire that had gotten out of its rightful place. So let me ask, is there a desire in your life right now that's influencing decisions you know aren't right? And where do you need to do a better job at guarding your heart? Here's the thing. Sometimes our desires can affect the decisions we make. 00:11:24.325 --> 00:11:44.545 Other times they can change how we see the things that we already have. The second thing that disordered desires can do is they can create discontentment. They can make me greedy, not grateful. We become so focused on what we don't have that we lose gratitude for what we do. Listen. 00:11:44.545 --> 00:12:03.230 Have you ever gotten something you really wanted only to realize there was an even better version? I grew up on the East Coast. Okay? And you can only use a pool on the East Coast for, like, three months out the year, minus all the rain you get in the summer on the East Coast. Okay? 00:12:03.310 --> 00:12:16.695 And so anybody that had a pool to me was rich. If you had a pool, you were rich because you can only use this thing three months out of the year. And so I... I'm never gonna have a pool. 36 years old, we move out to California. 00:12:17.495 --> 00:12:24.540 A couple years after that, we get a house. It has a pool. I am as giddy as a kid on Christmas day. I'm like, I have a pool. I have a pool. 00:12:24.540 --> 00:12:41.205 It's small, but it's like, I have a pool. I was so excited. And then I started visiting some friends and I was like, wow, their pool's really big. And they have a spa with their pool. I actually said to my husband one day, whoever built our pool was an idiot. 00:12:41.205 --> 00:12:50.005 That... Because why didn't they build a spot? Everybody else here has a spot. All of a sudden, my pool wasn't enough. I needed a pool with bubbles. 00:12:53.470 --> 00:13:10.105 It goes back to what do I need to be okay. I was no longer grateful for what I had. I was greedy for what I didn't have, for what I thought I finally needed to be content. This is what greed or disordered desires do. It leads us to live with conditional contentment. 00:13:10.105 --> 00:13:22.745 I'll be grateful when I get... When I just reach this. As soon as we have... And listen to what happens. More becomes the perpetual goal. 00:13:22.745 --> 00:13:31.430 Just a little more. Just a little more. That's all I need. Can you please remember this? When more becomes the goal, enough becomes impossible. 00:13:31.430 --> 00:13:52.845 It's what Jesus says in Luke twelve fifteen, beware. There's that word again, guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own. You know why Jesus is telling us this? Because the abundance of possessions doesn't produce greater satisfaction. 00:13:53.880 --> 00:14:26.790 And don't we don't we know this? I'm convinced that one of the reasons why through the Old Testament, God says, remember, remember, remember, remember, is because we're so good at forgetting. Psalm one zero three two says this, let all that I am praise the Lord. May I never forget the good things he does for me. Are we spending more time remembering what God has given us or resenting what he hasn't? 00:14:27.830 --> 00:14:55.370 Because here's the thing, gratitude remembers what we have and greed resents what we don't. Sing with God, writing this message. I wrote this in my journal. Melody, when was the last time you thanked God for something you used to pray for? The danger of disordered desires isn't just that we stop appreciating what God has given us. 00:14:57.050 --> 00:15:20.560 It's that we can start loving what he's given us more than we love him. Disorder desires can change our devotion. They can turn my good into my God. Someone looked at your life. What would they say you're devoted to? 00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:37.075 What I mean is what what has your heart? I grew up a Kentucky basketball fan. My dad was born in Southern Ohio, lots of family in Northern Kentucky. I was just born into the blue. That's what we do. 00:15:37.075 --> 00:15:45.420 We are Wildcat fans. There was no option. There was no other choice. It's what we are. And we were fans, my family. 00:15:45.420 --> 00:15:52.380 My dad coached basketball. I played basketball. Yet, they need short people in basketball, too. Okay? It's called a point guard. 00:15:52.380 --> 00:16:01.055 They're much needed. And so we loved it. We played. Then we watched our team. And we were fans, but we had some distant relatives that were fanatics. 00:16:01.295 --> 00:16:15.080 Like, I'd go to family reunions and everybody was in blue. My dad would try to like, my dad's a pastor try to talk to people. Hey, any prayer requests? Pray for the cats. Not like their cat, like the wild cats, the basketball team. 00:16:15.640 --> 00:16:26.440 Let's pray for them. Alright? Their salvation or a winning season, what are talking about? And you guys, the devotion ran so deep. This is this is no lie. 00:16:26.825 --> 00:16:42.585 That I have a distant cousin. He's an only child. His dad was a season ticket holder to the the the Wildcats. And he got married on the day of a Wildcats game and his dad did not go to his wedding. No. 00:16:43.120 --> 00:17:01.705 He didn't go. And I thought to myself, that's some kind of level of devotion. But this is what our disordered desires can do. They can turn good things into God things. And we would never say we're worshiping them. 00:17:02.345 --> 00:17:28.240 But I want you to see what Paul says about greed. Colossians three:five, he says, Don't be greedy for a greedy person is an idolater. Worshiping the things of this world. The message says that's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. Paul identifies greed and covetousness as an idolatry. 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:57.290 You know what we learn here? Coveting is not just a desire problem, it's a worship problem. Augustine, one of the early church's most influential theologians, he taught about something called Ordo Amoris, the proper ordering of our loves. And his idea was that sometimes our problem isn't that we love the wrong things. It's that we love good things in the wrong order. 00:17:59.835 --> 00:18:32.745 And when we give something a place in our hearts that was only ever meant for God, a good thing can begin pulling us away from him. This can be so subtle. It happens over time we don't even realize it. But there have been times where I have prayed with a couple begging God to give them a child. They've faced infertility, their road has been long, and God blesses them with a child. 00:18:33.305 --> 00:18:51.600 He gives them this good gift. And that child becomes the center of their orbit. And not too many years after the child comes into the world, this child's calendar now dominates their life. They're in travel ball. They're in ballet. 00:18:51.600 --> 00:19:13.420 They had a science experiment. They're at a sleepover. And we don't go to church anymore, but we watch online when we can because she's just so busy. Single ladies, you pray for a godly man. God, give me a man that loves you, that loves your word, that loves your house, loves your people. 00:19:13.900 --> 00:19:41.760 And you pray and you pray and you wait and then God sends you, he sends you a good man. Maybe he's fine. And all of a sudden, you're together all the time. You're falling asleep on FaceTime because you wanna wake up with your boo. But now, you don't open your Bible. 00:19:44.320 --> 00:20:21.510 You pray for a better job. God, if I just had a better job, the things I could do for my family, the ways that I could serve you, the ways that I could be more generous, if I just had a better job and then God gives you what you prayed for and all of a sudden, every waking hour is consumed by your work. Where has your good become your God? Could the very thing that you once begged God for now be the thing keeping you from Him? Let me, let me just say something. 00:20:21.510 --> 00:20:33.665 Having children, working hard, enjoying relationships, those things are not wrong. The issue is the place that they occupy in our hearts. Amen. Our Amen. Disordered desires can change our devotion. 00:20:33.665 --> 00:21:11.930 And here's the irony. Anything we have that's good is from God. James one seventeen says, Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father who created all the lights in the heavens. What happens when we become so captivated with the gift that we forget the giver? Last Christmas, I was scrolling and I came across this video and it marked me. 00:21:13.370 --> 00:21:33.255 It was a family kind of on Christmas morning. And what you could tell from the video was that they were a simple family, A small family room. There were a few gifts. Just a very modest family enjoying the remnants of Christmas morning. They had a son about nine or 10 years old, daughter about three or four. 00:21:33.495 --> 00:21:48.150 And they're on the floor just grateful for what they got, playing. The son's playing with his Legos. The mom's recording on her phone and she says, I think we forgot a gift. And the son looks up. He's kind of like curious and she sends the dad to the garage. 00:21:48.845 --> 00:22:00.605 And so the dad comes out, big dude. He's got a big box in his hands. And she tells her son, that gift's got your name on it. And he's looking surprised. And so they set it down in front of him. 00:22:01.960 --> 00:22:17.125 And this little boy opens up that wrapping paper. And after a few seconds, he realizes it's a PS5. Now let me tell you something. As a mom with people who play video games in my house, them things cost a lot of money. Okay? 00:22:18.005 --> 00:22:24.245 I got grown sons. I'm like, you want to play? Buy it yourself. Okay? That's what that paycheck is for, son. 00:22:24.245 --> 00:22:38.400 This little boy is awestruck. I mean, his face. He's it's like he can't believe it. You're watching in real time as he's holding it like this. And he's like, For me? 00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:51.035 He's he's overjoyed. The mom, you can hear behind the phone, she's starting to like tear up. She's like, It's for you, baby. It's yours. The dad, big dude over there, he's pinching the bridge of his nose because he's trying not to cry. 00:22:51.035 --> 00:23:11.205 But I'm thinking to myself, what did they do, you know, to provide this for their son? Overtime, hard work, savings, like something went... Some kind of effort went into giving him this gift. And the little boy is so overcome, he picks up the box. It's like his eyes glaze over and he just starts walking to his bedroom. 00:23:11.205 --> 00:23:21.445 Like he... He's just undone. Okay. He's just holding it. And he's getting ready to turn the corner to walk down the hallway and it's like something snaps. 00:23:22.430 --> 00:23:40.135 And he sets it down. And, man, he runs back to his mom and he's crying. And he just, she's holding the phone, so she just kinda falls back. He bear hugs. He wraps his arms around his mom. 00:23:40.135 --> 00:23:47.255 And he's like, mom, thank you so much. Thank you so much. He... The dad walks over. He gets his dad to death. 00:23:47.310 --> 00:23:54.270 And the dad's like, I love you, son. I mean, look at me now. I'm just... I'm a mess. It was so beautiful. 00:23:56.670 --> 00:23:58.110 But I thought about that as I 00:23:58.110 --> 00:24:24.450 was writing this message and I said, you know what this little boy did? That is the exact thing some of us need to do today? He remembered the giver, which led him to gratitude. God gives us good gifts. He wants us to enjoy them with gratitude, but the gifts were never meant to take his place. 00:24:25.810 --> 00:24:38.185 And you want to know why? Because they can't. Here's what God wants you to know today. Here's what he wants me to know today. The greatest thing he offers us is not what he can give it to himself. 00:24:40.585 --> 00:25:10.595 That we could get to a place where with David in Psalms 60 three:five, we could say these words, you satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I wonder if we could take a moment and sort of examine our own hearts and our lives. Where have our desires become disordered? What about your decisions? 00:25:11.950 --> 00:25:36.565 Is there something that you want that is causing you to compromise what you know is right? Has it created discontentment? Have you become so focused on what you don't have that you've lost gratitude for what you do? What about your devotion? Has something good become more important than God? 00:25:36.565 --> 00:26:00.025 Here's what I want to tell you today. The answer to our disordered desires, it's not learning to want less. It's learning to want Jesus more. To want him more because he alone can satisfy. He is the giver of good gifts and the greatest gift he gives is the gift of himself. 00:26:00.025 --> 00:26:30.115 So wonder if you would take a moment from wherever you're watching from. Would you just bow your head and close your eyes for a moment? Because maybe after sort of zooming out and thinking about where you are, maybe there's something you need to confess. Maybe right now God is saying that's the thing. That's what it is. 00:26:32.275 --> 00:27:02.345 And whatever He's bringing to your mind, I invite you to confess it. God, this is where it's become a desire that's out of its rightful place. And maybe right now, as you're thinking about it, some of you are thinking, I need to make a change. This has become way too important to me. Maybe some of you right now, you're sitting in this thing of, I don't know when's the last time I practiced gratitude. 00:27:02.345 --> 00:27:24.395 I feel grateful. But I don't know when's the last time I sat with God or with someone else in my life and just practiced gratitude for all that God has given me. Here's the truth. We don't need more to be okay. We need more of him to be okay. 00:27:24.395 --> 00:27:46.460 Amen. Amen. Jesus, would you teach us to treasure you above everything else? Would you right here, right now, bring to our hearts and minds where our desires have become disordered? And God, as we allow you to reorder our desires, we continue on this way of gratitude. 00:27:46.725 --> 00:28:23.765 Keep us from the way of greed, May nothing good in our life ever take your place. May we remain a people so humbled, so undone by your goodness that we would be like that little boy on Christmas day. That we would be a people who run back to you, tears flowing down, our faces saying to you, thank you, God. Thank you, God, for all that you have given me. May you always keep your rightful place in our hearts and in our minds. 00:28:24.245 --> 00:28:26.165 In Jesus' name. Amen. 00:28:31.460 --> 00:29:06.150 Thank you for leading us in that, and thank you for joining us today. If this message has encouraged you, challenged you, as I know it's challenged me, we just want to invite you to continue to be a part of what God is doing in and through the ministry of Sandals Church. One way that you can do that is by going to sandalschurch.com support if you'd like to have this message continue to go out around the world. Thank you for joining us today. I pray that you would experience the goodness of God, the giver of all good things, and have a great week. 00:29:06.390 --> 00:29:07.030 Cut.