[upbeat music] the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
All righty, we are here. It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I am Victor Wilt.
So I've been trying to sell these, uh, three particular books on Facebook Marketplace for the-
What are they?
-past, like, week. The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.
Oh, my goodness.
[laughing]
You know what's funny is, as you said that, I'm sitting here scrolling, trying to find content, and instead, I was on Facebook Marketplace looking at books.
Yeah, back when I was, uh, single, I was trying to impress this one girl by reading those three books.
[laughing]
I got, like, 40 pages into the first one and went, "Yikes," [laughing] and just
shelved it immediately.
[laughing]
So then I, uh-
Oh, that's funny
... said, "You know what? Now that, you know, I'm no longer that way," I s- I, I listed them on Facebook Marketplace a couple, uh, weeks back. Sure enough, this lady, uh, she was the most annoying person to deal with so far.
Yeah?
She was the... She would be the type like, "Hey, are you available tonight?" I'm like, "It's 10:00 PM on a Sunday."
[laughing] No!
And then sure enough, I'd be like, "Hey, I'm, I'm home now. Can you come by and pick it up?"
Yeah.
She says, "Sure." Couple hours pass, "Sorry, I'm still caught up at work. Hold on."
I hate that when that happens.
And then kept, kept doing that for, like, a couple weeks straight, so I gave her, like, a two-star review after she finally showed up.
[laughing]
I had to hit her with the, "Okay, last call before I throw these away."
[laughing]
And then so that happens. The sale happens at my place. I walk back to my front door, and my... Aubrey got me this, this heart wreath for Valentine's Day.
Uh-huh.
It's, it's [laughing] hung on my front door, so-
A heart wreath
... It's a giant heart with a bunch of hearts on it for Valentine's Day.
Okay.
And so, yeah, I have that hung up on my front door, and, well, there's a, uh... all of a sudden a note-
A note?
-on that wreath.
A note on the wreath.
And it says, it says, "Peaches, this is the cable guy. I heart you."
[laughing] What?
Or something like that. I'm like-
Did your girlfriend do it?
No. I, I analyzed her handwriting in her scrapbook-
[laughing]
-that she has at my place. I'm comparing the two. I have the note with the, [laughing] with the scrapbook next to it. I'm like, "Those P's look a little different."
Huh!
So that's not the case, and there's a rose.
And a flower.
There's a rose in the wreath now.
Okay.
So I'm thinking, I'm like, "Did Becca do this as a joke, like you and Becca team up to prank me?"
[laughing]
I'm thinking, "Did Maddie team up to prank... Maddie with her girl team up to prank me? What happened?"
I don't know, Peaches.
'Cause I'm like, [laughing] it just says cable guy.
[laughing] It says a cable guy?
It says... I, did, did Becca write it?
[laughing]
You're kind of making this face that you're-
[laughing]
Victor, you're laughing right now.
[laughing] It was Becca, wasn't it?
I was trying to keep a straight face, but yeah, that- well, that was me and Becca.
That's what I figured.
[laughing] We... Last night after we went to Fred Meyer, [laughing] we, we stopped by your house 'cause we, you know, we were coming down Garfield, coming back from that way.
[laughing]
And I'm like: Oh, there's Peaches' place. Let's bother him. You know, he won't be expecting it. So we showed up.
I'm glad- [laughing] I'm glad you didn't hear me scream anything profane on my PC that I was d-
[laughing]
I was playing a, a Far Cry 4.
Were you home last night?
Yeah! You could have just knocked. [laughing]
We did. All the lights were off and stuff.
Yeah, 'cause I'm in the back room with the PC.
Oh, okay.
Like, all the lights are off in the front. I turn the lights off when I get out of the room.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah. We just assumed you weren't home. Your car was there, so I was like-
Yeah, so-
... "He must be out with Aubrey."
No, I was there.
So then, like, 'cause I had... We had bought some flowers at Fred Meyer, and she- we saw the big heart wreath and were laughing, so we went back to [laughing] the car.
Isn't it funny?
Yeah, and we went back to the car, and then we were just gonna put a flower in it, and then Becca thought it would be funny to leave the note. [laughing] So-
I could tell it was sort of like her handwriting.
I was waiting this morning when you first came in. I was gonna see if you said anything, so I messaged her. I'm like, "He hasn't said anything about [laughing] the note on his door."
I, I could tell it was like the way that she talks, too.
Ah, yeah.
Like, no cable guy is gonna write like that and then put, like, a, a heart that shape on a I. [laughing]
Yeah, it was, uh, like a quote from the Cable Guy movie or something. Something like that.
It was on, like, a guest check, too. I'm like, "She's a bartender."
[laughing]
And I was thinking, like... I was, I was, I was full-on Detective Peach.
[laughing]
'Cause I, I've had a, a, a DoorDasher, uh, be a listener in the past-
Uh-huh
... and he, he knows where I live, but I'm like, "Nobody else knows where I'm at."
Yeah. Th- that, that's a decent point, if nobody knows where you live. But, uh, yeah, we were just showing up to bother you real quick 'cause we happened to be driving by.
Yeah, you could have knocked.
I did! Or maybe... Do you have a doorbell?
Yeah.
Maybe I rang the doorbell. I know we knocked, though.
Oh.
We... 'Cause I was like, "You know, maybe he is here. We- he just, just must not have heard us."
Oh, that sucks.
So, yeah.
Could've seen my dump the place, the PC setup and everything.
I know, yeah. We were just gonna
stop by for a few on the way home.
[laughing]
So. [laughing] I, I-
I, I had a feeling it was, it was you-
[laughing]
... 'cause I'm like, "Jade wouldn't do something like this. Josh doesn't really know what exact place that I'm in, uh, in the building," type of thing.
[laughing]
I had a feeling.
[laughing] Yeah, but-
That's funny
... on- once we saw the big heart, we're like, "Okay, this is funny." And then I'm like, "Well, what if his girlfriend sees this note, and then she gets mad?"
No, she's not the jealous type.
[laughing]
I'm way more the jealous type.
[laughing] Yeah.
If I see, like, her, uh, coworker who doesn't, uh, play for that team text her sometimes, I'll be like, "Who's that?
[laughing]
"Who's that guy?" [upbeat music] So Victor, I was, uh, scrolling Reddit, the, uh, liberal site, and, uh, found this whole question: "What is a city that is globally romanticized but you detest?"
Okay, that's a pretty decent question.
Obviously, the big answer is Dubai-
Dubai
... for a lot of people. Yeah.
Yeah, that always tends to pop up on those lists of, uh, places that sucks to visit. Um, I bet, what, Paris is on there?
Yeah.
Bet you're gonna see some Paris on there.
Because of the smell-
Mm
... and just the overall attitude of people.
Yeah. Do they have New York City on there?
Uh, let me see.
... 'cause, um-
Oh, should I s- should I sort it by controversial?
Yeah! 'Cause, I mean, I like New York. I thought it was a really cool city. I loved how the blocks were in, like, Manhattan, were really, like, short. You know, it's not like being in Salt Lake, where you're like, "Oh, we gotta walk five blocks," and it'd take you an hour, you know?
That was a big confusing thing when we, when we went on vacation to Boston. It was like, "Oh, you can just walk to the restaurant," and w- we- it took us, like, 30 minutes to get there.
Yeah.
'Cause they thought it was w- within walking distance, 'cause nobody really walks out there in the New England area. [chuckles]
Yeah.
I mean, nobody really drives out there in New England area.
Yeah, yeah, in New York it was, uh... It was amazing, 'cause I'm looking at the map, and I'm like, "Oh, that's- you know, that place is, like, five blocks away," and it was like, oh, that's
different than-
Right
... some of the blocks out- 'cause Salt Lake, the blocks are ridiculous. They are so long, so long. It's crazy. Like, don't ever look at a map of Salt Lake and think you're walking somewhere. Jade, Jade, who's like, "Yeah, it's within walking distance," hour, hour and a half. Nobody wanna walk that long.
[laughing]
Get out of here.
So I sorted it by controversial. It says, "London, even with all the Tube access, the nice areas you'd actually wanna go as a tourist are choked up by cars. It has great things in it, but as a city to just exist and move around in, it's a miserable place."
Okay. I'd, I'd still like to visit it.
Oh, there's New York right there, number two.
There's New York.
Yeah.
See, I, I mean, I think New York's a really awesome city. You know? I-
I hated it.
You didn't like it?
No, I, I liked the scenery and all that, but living there would absolutely suck.
Oh, it would be horrible to live there.
'Cause if there, if there's one thing I absolutely hate, 'cause this is gonna be completely contro- not, not controversial, this is gonna... Like, I love when listeners come up to me and say hello, but I also hate when people come up to me and try selling me something-
Oh, yeah
... or asking for something.
Mm-hmm.
B- like, uh, when, when we were in the subway, it was, uh, some r- it was a whole bunch of random people coming up, "Hey, do you have a bite to eat?" Like, "Yeah, sure. I got a whole- got this whole sandwich for you right here." [laughing]
[chuckles] "Let me reach in my pocket."
It's like, "No, leave me alone."
[laughing]
Or they do that stupid thing where they go, like, "Oh, hey, I'm deaf. I'm raising money for this"-
Mm-hmm
... and they hand you a piece of paper that you can give them five bucks or something like that.
See, I was only there for, like, a part of a day, and I didn't go on the subway. I was in the touristy area, you know, uh, Times Square, and, uh, I d- I, I don't think I got bothered by anybody.
Yeah, I was there for, like, a whole week.
Ah, see, and that, that might change your perspective on it, for sure. I... And I just saw the touristy area, went and saw, uh, a couple Broadway shows.
Did you see where John Lennon got shot?
No.
I was there.
I, I did not go to that spot. Um, but I, I liked the city. You know, it's kinda like LA. You know, a lot of people hate LA-
[laughing]
... but, um, I really like LA, even though it's like the opposite. You gotta drive everywhere, you know, to, to get anywhere.
Yeah. A- A- Aubrey was, uh, saying LA was, uh... It smelt bad, and there's a whole lot of homeless. I'm like, "That's, that's LA for you."
I, I guess I got lucky when I went there. I don't remember it smelling bad, but, um-
Well, she got lucky, too, 'cause it, the-
Hollywood Boulevard smelled bad.
Yeah, there's not too many, um, homeless people out there. I mean, there's n- I think they are cleaning it up for the Olympics.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's what the... They're kind of in the preparing stages for that. I think it's gonna get a whole lot better soon enough, and then all of, all of a sudden, sure, right after the Olympics are done, boom! Everything's trashy again.
Oh, yeah, that's, that's what tends to happen.
But the smells are awful.
Yeah.
It's just you get these people that just talk to themselves, or they're laughing to themselves or laying on the ground with no shoes on.
[laughing]
You're like, "What's going through that person's head?"
Uh, drugs-
Right
... Peaches.
Yeah. [chuckles]
Drugs-
I guess
... are going through their head. [upbeat music]
Well, it's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I'm Victor Wilt. And Peaches brought up something that was filling up my, uh, Facebook feed and Reddit feed. I didn't talk about it on the morning show, but that, that Boston post is pretty funny, and w- what we're talking about is the new Melania documentary.
Documentary. Yeah.
Yeah, about, uh, you know, the, uh, president's wife, and, um, I guess they're struggling with ticket sales.
[exhales]
And I don't know if this post from Boston is somebody trolling or if it's real, but it was posted in Gigs, like, you know-
Yeah
... temporary work.
It says, "Event Gigs. Boston Event Gigs. Attend Melania documentary, free tickets plus $50. Attend Melania documentary at any Boston area theater during opening weekend, this upcoming weekend, free tickets plus $50 per seat occupied. Rust- must remain in seats for entirety of film."
Okay. It, I- it's gotta be what? An hour and a half long?
I guess.
Something like that?
Yeah, I, I didn't know there was even a documentary about her till literally last night when people were making fun of it.
Yeah.
Let's see it. Melania movie.
Like, how long is it?
Uh, it doesn't give me a length.
Okay.
The budget was $40 million. Oh, they're showing it at Regal Edwards Grand Teton, um, at 2:20 PM, 5:20 PM, 8:25 PM. They're showing it at the Blackfoot Movie Mill as well. [chuckles]
Will they pay us to go?
I, um, we should ask them. We should call them right now. [chuckles]
'Cause, dude... Okay, for 50 bucks, and you don't have to pay for the tickets, I'd probably sit through just about any movie.
50 bucks?
The 50 bucks is 50 bucks.
It's an hour and 44 minutes.
That's not that bad.
No, it's great!
I mean, it's not the greatest hourly wage.
If it was like Oppenheimer, I'd, I'd say, "Screw it. No, I'm not doing it."
Oh, see? But that's a good movie.
Eh.
I'd sit through a three-hour movie for 50 bucks.
I, I really don't care what the subject matter is, I'll never watch a three-hour-long movie.
But you know how I work at the movie theater, Peaches. They didn't say you had to stay awake in your seat.
Oh!
[chuckles] See? So I could go in, I'm all tired today, and I get 50 bucks, and I just crash out for the movie and wake up with the credits.
It says, "Focuses on the 20 days leading up to the 2025 presidential inauguration, featuring behind-the-scenes footage and private conversations." [chuckles]
Sounds so exciting.
I bet those private conversations are like, uh, what he approved-
Oh, dude, yeah, I'm sure
... and, and all that. 'Cause he'll probably sue if you said, you know, some top-tier secret stuff.
Yeah. No, no, I'm sure it's all, you know, a, a very, very, um, or- organized... I don't know what word I'm looking for.
Organizedrated?
... very well orchestrated, yeah. Um, but yeah, if, if they're gonna pay 50 bucks locally, count me in. I need-
Sure!
I need the money. [laughs]
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see any movie for 50 bucks.
I'll, I'll put it-
We'll pay it
... towards the, uh, go home fund.
There you go!
I, I have this, uh, particular thing. I'm like, "Oh, okay, I gotta put up m- as much money as I can for a vacation for the next time around, so that way I can get even- can rent an even better minivan."
Heck yeah!
Something like that. You know?
Heck yeah. So, uh, if anyone who works at, uh, Blackfoot Movie Mill or Regal Cinemas [laughs] is aware of anybody offering 50 bucks-
Oh, my... It's being shown at Paramount 5 in Rexburg tonight as well, and then also in Chubbuck at the AMC Classic Pine Ridge 11-
Yes
... this afternoon.
All right. Well, I don't know if I'm gonna drive all the way to Poky, 'cause that would probably, you know, cost just about as much in gas as my truck is getting the 50 bucks. But, yeah.
Well, I'll be in Rexburg tonight, and there's a showing at 4:20.
[laughs]
So we can watch it and then go to Fat Cats for the watch party.
Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Uh, uh-
The watch party of Lieutenant Crane's Family Feud.
Yes. I did see some clips online. I watched, uh... I shouldn't have watched one of the clips on the Family Feud YouTube channel, 'cause it was the end of one of the episodes. You know, when they do the-
Yes
... can you win all the cash?
Yeah, yeah.
So I watched that segment. I won't, I won't spoil it.
Should we record some of those clips for Traffic School on Friday so we can make fun of them?
Uh, maybe. Maybe, you know.
Like, if there's some really bad answers, we can put it with the, uh, "Name a yellow fruit." "Orange."
[laughs] Yeah, exactly.
That whole thing. Or what was that one thing?
[laughs]
"Name a name that starts with the letter J." "Jose." [laughs]
[laughs]
But not a J, it was a H. It was H, yeah.
Ah.
"A name, [laughs] a name that starts with the letter H. Jose." [laughs]
There's some dumb answers that pop up on Fal- or on Family Feud sometimes, so-
There was even one for, like, uh, "Name a name that starts with the letter K," and some guy just said Kentucky Fried Chicken. [laughs]
[laughs] [upbeat music]
Victor, I found this, uh, subreddit that reminded me of those listeners that sometimes they'll just, uh, ask, like, "Hey, what was that song that played at this specific time-
Mm-hmm
... this specific day?"
Yeah.
And people are more than welcome to ask that. We're always glad to help.
Yeah.
But, uh, I found this, uh, subreddit dedicated to that type of thing, r/What'sThisSong?
Oh! Okay, and people kind of describe the song-
Yeah
... and people will figure it out?
This one says, "Psychedelic/heavy rock song that starts with footsteps and a door opening."
Is it, uh... Well, he said psychedelic heavy rock song, 'cause I'm thinking of that one song of, about the, the clowns, you know, that we play during Halloween season. Uh, The Damned, These Hands.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. That starts off that way, but I wouldn't call it heavy.
Well-
But it's psychedelic.
He goes on to say, "I'm trying to find a song my grandfather used to listen to in his youth. From what he has told me, it sounds similar to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin, so it's likely a psychedelic, progressive rock or heavy rock, and probably from the '60s to the '80s."
Okay, maybe that's it.
But-
Maybe that's it. Has anyone responded?
Yeah, tons of people have responded.
Okay.
I'm trying to see if we have... We don't have that song in the system.
Yeah, we do.
Um, the top... No, the top one is Pink Floyd, Welcome to the Machine.
Yeah.
You know what that could be?
We don't have that in the system? Let me pull it up on, uh, the old, the old cursed Spotify.
Oh, I can put it on.
Oh, do we got Spotify fired up on that computer?
Yeah, I'm just trying to... I'm hoping it-
That'll work better than me putting my phone up to it. I was actually listening to the Wish You Were Here album the other day, which, uh, is where you can find Welcome to the Machine.
All right, here we go. Here's the be- here's the beginning part.
Okay. [upbeat music]
Sort of like a build-up.
I don't hear footsteps.
Not yet.
I heard the door.
This is the one thing I hate about Pink Floyd.
[laughs]
It's just, it's-
It, it's gonna build up for a while
... it's a bunch of noise, and it's a bunch of just-
[upbeat music] Another door
... such a terrible band. [laughs]
Pink Floyd is one of the greatest bands of all time.
[laughs]
You get... [laughs] Yeah, I listened to this, uh, I, I think the whole album the other day when I was just sitting in my office.
Yeah, you're sitting in your office listening to the wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
[laughs] It's good-
Nah.
It's good stuff for when you're working on clocks. I can't listen to, like, really chaotic music. It's gotta be mellow. [upbeat music] I, I don't think this is it. What other answers did they give? Fire up that song in the system, These Hands.
Okay.
'Cause I swear it starts with a door opening and footsteps, but I might be tripping.
Here's the intro. [upbeat music]
Well, I guess it, it doesn't.
[laughs]
It just goes straight circus. [laughs]
Um-
Maybe it's the end of the song that has the, the footsteps.
I, I, I did see a wave that sort of looked like that. Um, but should we move on to another, uh, song here, or-
Yeah.
Um, it says, "I think Queensryche concept album Operation: Mindcrime opens with footsteps or has a song that opens with footsteps."
There's a lot of songs that have footsteps at the beginning. I think Opeth, but that's pretty new. Opeth's latest album-
[laughs]
... I think, starts with footsteps.
You know what I'm thinking of every single time I, I hear, um, the whole, like, door opening and footsteps is, uh... [upbeat music] There's the door. Footsteps.
Yeah. What is this?
You'll know in a second. [upbeat music]
[laughs] Is it Thriller?
Yeah. [laughs]
That's what it was.
[laughs]
Psychedelic hard rock. [laughs]
[laughs] I thought it was Thriller. Um-
Has the original poster responded, and like, "Yeah! That was the song," or p-
Uh, uh... No, he's like... Uh, uh, one guy said, "One of my turns, question mark?" And he says, "I'll definitely keep it in mind, since it also matches another very vague description he once gave me."
Hmm. Well, that's, that's a fun subreddit-
[laughs]
... 'cause listeners will call me sometimes and describe songs, and I'm like-... Googling lyrics and things like that, and generally I'm like, "I don't know! You're asking the wrong guy." [laughing] I don't pay close enough attention to what they're saying.
There was a- there was one listener that had me puzzled for a little while there, 'cause he's like, "You guys play this short, heavy song that keeps screaming out, 'Freak of Nature.'"
Freak of Nature?
Something like that. And so it took me a, a second to realize what he was talking about, because he, he, he meant this track. [metal music]
Shut the [censored] up, do me a favor!
Violent nature.
Of a violent nature, not freak of nature.
You're a sick mother [censored] with a violent nature! [screaming]
Yeah.
That part came out pretty well.
Violent nature, not freak of nature.
[laughing]
Okay. Yeah,
I, I've, I've had those kind of calls, too, so.
That could make for a great giveaway.
Yeah!
Just, uh, what's this song?
That... It's a pretty dang good giveaway.
And we just kind of-
Describe a song?
Yeah, and have, maybe have AI help us out. Give us a vague description, like, let's talk about... Let's, let's try doing this with, uh, Tools. Uh, what, what's a very weird Tool song?
Um, I don't know. Try just Schism.
Okay. ChatGPT, vaguely describe Tool's Schism to me as if I were a 12-year-old.
[laughing] There you go.
What's it gonna do? Okay, imagine this:
It's a, a song about two people or two sides of something that used to be really in sync, like best friends, a band, or even your brain and your feelings, but now they're totally not on the same page anymore.
Huh!
The, the music sounds uneasy on purpose. It's like walking down stairs where one step is randomly taller than the others. You never feel fully comfortable, and that's the point.
[laughing]
It keeps stopping, starting, twisting, and changing, like the song itself can't agree with itself.
Hmm. I, I wouldn't be able to guess that was Schism-
Yeah
... based on that description.
We'd probably have to give it a different prompt, but-
Yeah
... but, or maybe we can just write it ourselves.
It's, it's a good idea for a upcoming giveaway.
Yeah.
We'll have to think about that one and see what we can come up with.
Speaking of an upcoming giveaway, we have one getting announced tomorrow morning.
Ooh, for the metalheads.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah.
I, I, I kind of want to go to that show, just to say I experienced it.
They're a great live band, the headliner.
I can tell you-
They're excellent
... the mosh pit is just gonna be a bunch of, uh, people my dad's age trying to push each other. [laughing]
It'll be a circle pit. It'll be old school. [laughing]
Nice. [laughing]
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]