Carol Cox: Hear why I no longer teach from the stage,
and what I recommend instead on this episode
of the Speaking Your Brand podcast.
More and more women are making an impact by
starting businesses, running for office and
speaking up for what matters.
With my background as a TV political
analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I
interview and coach purpose driven women to
shape their brands, grow their companies,
and become recognized as influencers in
their field. This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
communicate your message to your audience.
Welcome to the Speaking Your Brand podcast.
I'm your host, Carol Cox.
We're continuing our new series called speak
With Confidence.
Last week's episode was all about claiming
your identity as a speaker, and the week
prior was on developing your impromptu
speaking skills. My goal with this series is
to get you to think differently about
speaking than you have, because I know you
want to be an impactful speaker, to share
your important message with your audiences,
and to attract clients for your business.
And we think that teaching and training is
what our audiences want.
Now, this is what I thought too, for a long
time, but I believe that there are trends
going on around us that are changing this,
changing this expectation from our
audiences. Because after all, we're all
swimming in information, all the podcasts
that we listen to, the online content that
we read from social media posts to videos to
news. And now with artificial intelligence,
we can have comprehensive answers to any
question that we have, whether it's simple
or complex in a matter of a few seconds.
This is why I no longer advocate what is
called teaching from the stage.
I'm going to share on this episode what I
recommend instead.
Now, I know that there are many of you out
there who enjoy teaching and training, and
if you're doing workshops, especially paid
workshops for a group, an organization or a
company, then absolutely you need to be
teaching and training to the attendees in
that audience. What I'm talking about here,
when I'm saying teaching from the stage and
switching, that is where you're doing lunch
and learns at a business group, you're doing
conference breakout sessions, you're doing
keynotes, and you're doing TEDx style talks.
Now, I know that so many of you like to
teach and train because our most popular
response and our speaker archetype quiz is
what I've called the Stellar Scholar.
The Stellar Scholar loves to get into all
the details about their topic.
They love to share what they know about
their topic with their audience.
And absolutely you should.
But I want you to rethink and reframe the
content that you're sharing with your
audience. I want you to think more about
thought leadership and less about teaching
and training. Now, if you're curious to find
out if you are the stellar scholar archetype
or if you're a different one of our four
speaker archetypes, you can take our free
quiz at Speaking your brand.com/quiz.
It's ten multiple choice questions.
It only takes a few minutes and you'll get
your results right away.
Again, that you can take our free quiz as
speaking your brand.com/quiz.
Now let's get on with the show.
When I started speaking to brand as a
business in 2015, the very first thing I did
as a revenue producing activity was I hosted
a half day workshop partnering with a local
women's entrepreneurship group.
So they marketed the workshop to their
audience, to their members, and then the
members registered and signed up and paid
for this half day workshop.
And during this workshop, I taught them this
idea of teaching from the stage instead of
selling from the stage.
Now, in that era, the 20 tens, this was an
excellent strategy.
Conferences were telling speakers that they
absolutely were not allowed to sell from the
stage. And you'll still hear that when you
submit to conferences, they'll tell you, no
selling from the stage. And I absolutely
understand why event organizers don't want
their speakers selling from the stage,
because speakers, a lot of speakers got to
the point where they were just pitching
their programs, their paid programs to the
audience instead of actually sharing
valuable information with them.
And so I started to think, okay, so if as
speakers, we can't sell from the stage, and
again, I agree, I don't I wouldn't want to
do that. How can we still stand out and
attract clients from the speaking
engagements that we're doing, especially
because a lot of speakers are doing speaking
for lead generation.
So by being the go to expert, by teaching
what you knew, that was the way to attract
clients. After all, event organizers always
say that they want tangible takeaways, that
they want their speakers to provide the
audience with tactical, strategic tips and
takeaways that they can use.
And as audiences, we're used to being
students with our notebooks, diligently
taking notes ready for the test at the end.
But of course, guess what?
There is no test at the end of a conference
breakout session or a business lunch and
learn. So as speakers, what exactly are we
doing there for our audiences now?
Interestingly, at this workshop that I
delivered back in 2015, I still have the
slides and I still have the workbook that I
had prepared for that.
And I went over at the time three act story
structure and storytelling.
So the core elements that I've been sharing
with you all in this podcast and the work
that we do with our clients, all those core
elements were there from the very beginning,
but my framing has changed.
How I see the purpose of our role as
speakers has changed, not only because of my
development as a speaking coach, but also
because of these trends that I see with all
of the online information and now artificial
intelligence that our audiences have.
So what exactly is wrong with this idea of
teaching from the stage?
As I mentioned earlier, if you're doing a
workshop that is that is the expectation and
that's the appropriate learning environment,
you generally have enough time, at least two
hours, sometimes four hours or an entire
day. So as the expert, you're teaching the
attendees at the workshop something in
particular, and you have the time and the
space to do that.
And the attendees know that that's what
they're showing up for. They're showing up
with their notebooks ready to take notes
because that's what they're there to learn.
But if you're presenting at a lunch and
learn, or at a 30 minute session, at a
monthly meeting of a business group, or
you're speaking at a conference breakout
session, and this is definitely the case for
a keynote, you're actually not there to
teach the audience.
Now, you most likely have 30 minutes, maybe
45 minutes with the audience.
That's really not enough time to teach them
something. You're there instead to introduce
something new, to get your audience to think
differently about the topic, and to spark
curiosity, to spark curiosity in the topic
that you're presenting, and also to spark
curiosity in you.
In you as that go to expert, in you as that
service provider that they can work with.
I think back to some recent podcast episodes
that I've done with clients.
Danielle Hayden was on the podcast this past
December talking about how when we work
together in a VIP day to create her new
signature talk, that we integrated thought
leadership and planting sales seeds into her
presentation. We completely reframe the
content away from teaching and training and
into thought leadership, and as a result,
she has attracted more clients for her
business than she ever has before.
I think back to Terry DeLuca, who was on the
podcast last summer of 2023, and the same
thing when we work together on the Thought
Leader Academy and her VIP day to create her
talks, we really focused on storytelling and
thought leadership. Instead of teaching and
training in these speaking engagements that
she's doing, and she's getting the best
feedback, paid speaking engagements and
attracting clients.
Let me give you an example from two of my
talks, and how I have reframed this idea of
teaching from the stage.
The first example is a 45 minute talk that I
gave at a women's event a couple of years
ago. The topic was this idea of shifting
from expert to thought leader, and during
that talk, I. Centered my thought leadership
framework. These layers that build your
thought leadership, your expertise is at the
bottom, then your big idea, then your
personal story, and then the emotional
courage to dig deep.
And as I explained in that talk and I've
explained here on the podcast, most of us
stop at the expertise.
Maybe we'll have a big idea, but most of us
do not go to the personal story.
And then definitely not digging really deep
into the things that reveal more about who
we are and by extension, then help the
audience to understand themselves better.
And that's what I was doing in that talk.
Helping the women in that audience
understand themselves better, understand
perhaps what was holding them back in their
business or their career, or what they
wanted to do as speakers because they
weren't stepping into thought leadership.
I had examples from clients.
I had cultural references.
I asked questions of the audience, I got
them participate. And really, my goal was to
get them to think differently.
And as a result of that talk, we got several
thought Leader Academy clients because my
talk sparked curiosity in them about this
idea of thought leadership.
And my talk sparked curiosity in me and the
work that we do.
Another example that comes to mind is the
marketing AI conference that I spoke at last
summer on Brand Voice and artificial
intelligence. Now, this was a jam packed
presentation about 45 minutes.
I think I had 60 slides, maybe more than
that. I do like slides, and so I show plenty
of examples of using ChatGPT to make sure
that it reflects your brand voice and how to
do that. But I didn't just do that.
So it wasn't just teaching them how to use
ChatGPT in that way, because really, again,
a conference session with over 100, 125
people in it where you only have 45 minutes,
is not the way to actually teach something
that they can go learn and apply.
Instead, I wanted to get them to think
differently about how artificial
intelligence number one is going to impact
our brand voice.
Number two, how they can leverage artificial
intelligence to actually understand their
brand voice better. So I, I took the bird's
eye view of this. In addition to giving them
specific examples, I also engaged the
audience a lot with questions.
I had props that were paddles.
One side had a human, a smile emoji, the
other side represented AI with the robot
emoji. So lots of engagement and the
feedback that I got from the attendees was
that it was such an energetic and engaging
presentation. They said it was excellent and
really one of the best there.
So I want you to think about for the
presentations that you're delivering, how
can you get the audience to think
differently about your topic?
What is your thought leadership message?
How can you spark curiosity in that topic
and in you? And I also want you to think
about what is the audience there for?
As I mentioned, if you are doing a workshop,
the attendees know they're showing up.
They're there to learn something in
particular. But if you're going to a
conference as an attendee, I don't know
about you, but at a conference, yes, I'm
there to learn new things, but I'm also
there to socialize, to network, to meet new
people, to kind of get the lay of the land.
Like, what are what are different people
doing related to that particular type of
conference? What is what is the what are the
industry trends?
What are the things that are on people's
minds? So we're there to socialize.
We're there to get the big picture.
And really we're also there to be
entertained at their all conferences should
be fun and we should be enjoying them as
well. So if we're not teaching from the
stage anymore, what is it that we should be
doing instead? And here's what I recommend.
And if you've been listening to this podcast
a while, this is not going to surprise you.
I want you to engage from the stage as a
speaker. You are a leader and you hold space
for the audience.
When we work with our clients and our
thought Leader Academy in the VIP days to
create their signature talk in act one of
our signature Talk Canvas framework, we
really dig in into what is the audience
want? What are their goals?
What's getting in the way that they see is
getting in their way? And what do you see as
the speaker, as the thought leader, as the
expert in your industry?
What do you see as really getting in the
way? And what you're doing there is you're
empathizing with your audience, you're
validating what they're experiencing, and
you're providing them with the belief and
the inspiration that the change that you're
presenting to them is possible.
As a speaker, you're also presenting your
idea. You're presenting your journey of
discovery. You're helping the audience see
and think about something differently and
understand something.
So understand your topic or understand
themselves in a new way.
You're also creating an emotional connection
with your audience.
When you think about engaging from the stage
instead of teaching from the stage, that
emotional connection comes from going deep
into your stories, going deep into those
personal experiences you've had that have
shaped who you are and why this topic, why
this message matters for you.
Right now, we're working with some faculty
members from the University of California to
help them craft their Ted style talks that
they're going to be delivering on their
academic research.
So they only have ten minutes.
And we know that they have to have a really
strong through line to convey their research
to a general audience.
And of course, as academics, they are so
well versed in their scholarship, in their
research. And as we're working with them, we
want to make sure that those key points come
across. But we're having them lead with
story. We're asking them questions like, why
does this topic matter to you?
Why did you pick this academic topic to
research and of all the different ones in
your field, and has been so fascinating to
hear their stories about why this topic
matters to them, and as soon as they answer
those questions in our workshop, and as soon
as they put that story into their outlines,
all of a sudden the research comes to life.
All of a sudden, as that general audience, I
feel a connection to their topic and I care
about their topic in a different way.
The other thing with engaging from the stage
is that it's really about being present with
your audience. They're in the moment.
It's not about memorizing your entire 30
minute or 45 minute talk, making sure that
you have every word and every turn of phrase
perfect. Instead, it's about a two way
conversation with your audience.
I really see speaking as a relationship
between the speaker and the audience.
I know this is kind of radical.
It's it's very different from what a lot of
speaking coaches and other people look at
speaking as.
But I really see this even me sharing this
podcast content with you, I really feel like
this is a two way conversation between me
and you as the listener, even though I can't
see you and we're not even doing this at the
same time. This is asynchronous
communication, but is a relationship because
I'm trying to understand what your goals
are, what your challenges are, and how I can
help you to get there.
This is why I share stories, and I bring on
our clients so that they can share their
stories and their journeys as well.
Now, thinking of speaking as a two way
conversation doesn't necessarily mean that
your audience is talking out loud back to
you. Now, of course they could.
If you have the time and the space and the
audience size is right and the venue is
right, then you can absolutely ask questions
and have the audience share back out loud.
But even if they're not talking out loud,
it's still a two way conversation.
Are you asking reflective questions along
the way? Are you having them pause and
reflect? Are you pausing and letting points
sink in? And are you shifting the mood as
needed for your audience?
Whether you need to add some humor to make
it a little bit lighter.
Maybe you need to bring the energy up
because people are getting a little bit
tired. Maybe you need to give a moment for
something that's a little bit heavier in
your content.
Are you truly listening and tuning in to the
audience and what they need?
That is your role as a speaker.
That's why it's so much more important that
you engage from the stage then that you
teach from the stage.
As I've worked with hundreds of women over
the years, I've seen that some of them are
reluctant to call themselves speakers, which
is what I talked about on last week's
episode. And I think part of this is because
they truly want conversations and
relationships. They don't want to be what's
called the sage on the stage, spouting
talking points and lecturing to their
audience. And I completely understand that.
I think back to this book from the 1990s by
Deborah Tannen is called You Just Don't
Understand Women and Men in Conversation,
and it was on the New York Times Best Seller
list for nearly four years.
And the reason I'm thinking about this is
because there was an article written after
the 2016 presidential election that talked
about Hillary Clinton's leadership style and
her speaking style.
And I'll include a link to this article in
the show notes. So a bit of reference
Deborah Tannen's work.
And in her work, Deborah Tannen found that
women tend to emphasize what she calls the
rapport dimension of communication.
Women want to know.
Did a particular conversation bring us
closer together or further apart?
Whereas men tend to emphasize what is called
the status dimension, did a conversation
raise my status compared to yours?
Now, of course, this is the broad brush
women and men, so you can think about
masculine and feminine qualities as well.
And so for men, talking is a way of changing
status. If you make a great point or set the
terms of the discussion, you win the
conversation. It's a competition.
Listening, on the other hand, is a way of
establishing rapport, of bringing people
closer together.
This is why I believe that we can give
audiences more of what they want, not what
we want. By making our talks a two way
conversation, we can lean into this idea
that we want to build rapport.
We want to build relationships with our
audiences, not that not have a status
competition where we're trying to seem like
we're better because we happen to be on the
stage, or we happen to be standing in front
of them. So as you think about your next
speaking engagements, whether it's in-person
or virtual, I want you to really think about
how can you truly engage the audience?
How can you be present for them?
How can you lead them?
How can you listen to them while you're
presenting your content to them?
I think this is really good to change the
relationship you have with yourself as a
speaker and the relationship that you have
with your audiences.
If you would like to work with us, you can
enroll in our Thought Leader Academy.
You can get all the details of speaking your
Brand.com slash Academy.
We also have a brand new live online
workshop that we're hosting all around.
Building your speaking confidence.
You can get the details for that as speaking
your Brand.com slash speaking workshop.
Again, that's speaking your
brand.com/speaking-workshop. And all of
these links are in the show notes, so you
can click on them there.
As a podcast listener you save $100 on this
workshop. Use the coupon code podcast 100.
That's all together. No Spaces Podcast 100.
During this online workshop, you're going to
learn how to use our signature Talk Canvas
framework to prepare for any presentation,
speech, or interview you have.
Whether you have five minutes or you have
five weeks to prepare, we really want you to
get comfortable with impromptu speaking as
well as prepared speaking.
You're also going to identify your key
stories and learn how to tell a great story.
That's really going to help you to engage
your audience and to connect with them in a
deeper way. We're also going to talk about
the best ways to practice and prepare to
lessen your nerves, and to deliver with
confidence. You'll get training, feedback,
and coaching from us so that you can quickly
develop your speaking skills.
Again, get all the details of speaking your
Brand.com slash speaking Dash workshop.
We're going to wrap up our speak with
confidence next week with a short meditation
and visualization I have for you that you
can listen to before your speaking
engagements. Until next time, thanks for
listening.