1 00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:03,080 Carol Cox: Hear why I no longer teach from the stage, 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,720 and what I recommend instead on this episode 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,580 of the Speaking Your Brand podcast. 4 00:00:12,110 --> 00:00:14,810 More and more women are making an impact by 5 00:00:14,810 --> 00:00:17,540 starting businesses, running for office and 6 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:19,550 speaking up for what matters. 7 00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:21,800 With my background as a TV political 8 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,650 analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I 9 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,140 interview and coach purpose driven women to 10 00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:29,630 shape their brands, grow their companies, 11 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,300 and become recognized as influencers in 12 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:35,660 their field. This is speaking your brand, 13 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,150 your place to learn how to persuasively 14 00:00:38,150 --> 00:00:41,510 communicate your message to your audience. 15 00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:44,120 Welcome to the Speaking Your Brand podcast. 16 00:00:44,150 --> 00:00:45,500 I'm your host, Carol Cox. 17 00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:48,320 We're continuing our new series called speak 18 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:49,370 With Confidence. 19 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,010 Last week's episode was all about claiming 20 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,470 your identity as a speaker, and the week 21 00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:56,990 prior was on developing your impromptu 22 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,600 speaking skills. My goal with this series is 23 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,700 to get you to think differently about 24 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:04,400 speaking than you have, because I know you 25 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,290 want to be an impactful speaker, to share 26 00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:08,120 your important message with your audiences, 27 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,760 and to attract clients for your business. 28 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,700 And we think that teaching and training is 29 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,530 what our audiences want. 30 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,110 Now, this is what I thought too, for a long 31 00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:20,630 time, but I believe that there are trends 32 00:01:20,630 --> 00:01:23,240 going on around us that are changing this, 33 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,460 changing this expectation from our 34 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,040 audiences. Because after all, we're all 35 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,280 swimming in information, all the podcasts 36 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,190 that we listen to, the online content that 37 00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:37,280 we read from social media posts to videos to 38 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,950 news. And now with artificial intelligence, 39 00:01:39,950 --> 00:01:43,370 we can have comprehensive answers to any 40 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,170 question that we have, whether it's simple 41 00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:48,470 or complex in a matter of a few seconds. 42 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,320 This is why I no longer advocate what is 43 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,150 called teaching from the stage. 44 00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:55,130 I'm going to share on this episode what I 45 00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:56,510 recommend instead. 46 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:59,000 Now, I know that there are many of you out 47 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,700 there who enjoy teaching and training, and 48 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,770 if you're doing workshops, especially paid 49 00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:06,620 workshops for a group, an organization or a 50 00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:09,020 company, then absolutely you need to be 51 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:11,570 teaching and training to the attendees in 52 00:02:11,570 --> 00:02:13,700 that audience. What I'm talking about here, 53 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,800 when I'm saying teaching from the stage and 54 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,530 switching, that is where you're doing lunch 55 00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:20,420 and learns at a business group, you're doing 56 00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:22,670 conference breakout sessions, you're doing 57 00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:25,190 keynotes, and you're doing TEDx style talks. 58 00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:27,470 Now, I know that so many of you like to 59 00:02:27,470 --> 00:02:29,750 teach and train because our most popular 60 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,720 response and our speaker archetype quiz is 61 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,150 what I've called the Stellar Scholar. 62 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:38,240 The Stellar Scholar loves to get into all 63 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,980 the details about their topic. 64 00:02:39,980 --> 00:02:42,470 They love to share what they know about 65 00:02:42,470 --> 00:02:44,210 their topic with their audience. 66 00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:45,410 And absolutely you should. 67 00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:48,530 But I want you to rethink and reframe the 68 00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:50,390 content that you're sharing with your 69 00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:52,550 audience. I want you to think more about 70 00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:55,040 thought leadership and less about teaching 71 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,320 and training. Now, if you're curious to find 72 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,050 out if you are the stellar scholar archetype 73 00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:02,000 or if you're a different one of our four 74 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,250 speaker archetypes, you can take our free 75 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,340 quiz at Speaking your brand.com/quiz. 76 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:09,050 It's ten multiple choice questions. 77 00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:10,820 It only takes a few minutes and you'll get 78 00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:12,410 your results right away. 79 00:03:12,410 --> 00:03:14,390 Again, that you can take our free quiz as 80 00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:17,000 speaking your brand.com/quiz. 81 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,980 Now let's get on with the show. 82 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,560 When I started speaking to brand as a 83 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,500 business in 2015, the very first thing I did 84 00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:27,290 as a revenue producing activity was I hosted 85 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,290 a half day workshop partnering with a local 86 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,120 women's entrepreneurship group. 87 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,880 So they marketed the workshop to their 88 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,710 audience, to their members, and then the 89 00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:38,720 members registered and signed up and paid 90 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,130 for this half day workshop. 91 00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:42,440 And during this workshop, I taught them this 92 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,350 idea of teaching from the stage instead of 93 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,760 selling from the stage. 94 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,300 Now, in that era, the 20 tens, this was an 95 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,980 excellent strategy. 96 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:54,530 Conferences were telling speakers that they 97 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:57,470 absolutely were not allowed to sell from the 98 00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,240 stage. And you'll still hear that when you 99 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,490 submit to conferences, they'll tell you, no 100 00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,020 selling from the stage. And I absolutely 101 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,600 understand why event organizers don't want 102 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,100 their speakers selling from the stage, 103 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,530 because speakers, a lot of speakers got to 104 00:04:09,530 --> 00:04:11,120 the point where they were just pitching 105 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,130 their programs, their paid programs to the 106 00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:15,110 audience instead of actually sharing 107 00:04:15,110 --> 00:04:17,300 valuable information with them. 108 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,370 And so I started to think, okay, so if as 109 00:04:19,370 --> 00:04:21,380 speakers, we can't sell from the stage, and 110 00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,000 again, I agree, I don't I wouldn't want to 111 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,130 do that. How can we still stand out and 112 00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,750 attract clients from the speaking 113 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:28,700 engagements that we're doing, especially 114 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:31,070 because a lot of speakers are doing speaking 115 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,270 for lead generation. 116 00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:34,820 So by being the go to expert, by teaching 117 00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:37,130 what you knew, that was the way to attract 118 00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:40,040 clients. After all, event organizers always 119 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,920 say that they want tangible takeaways, that 120 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,530 they want their speakers to provide the 121 00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:49,220 audience with tactical, strategic tips and 122 00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:50,690 takeaways that they can use. 123 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:53,360 And as audiences, we're used to being 124 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,790 students with our notebooks, diligently 125 00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:58,910 taking notes ready for the test at the end. 126 00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:00,140 But of course, guess what? 127 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:02,510 There is no test at the end of a conference 128 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,850 breakout session or a business lunch and 129 00:05:04,850 --> 00:05:08,300 learn. So as speakers, what exactly are we 130 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,910 doing there for our audiences now? 131 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:13,070 Interestingly, at this workshop that I 132 00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:15,500 delivered back in 2015, I still have the 133 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,720 slides and I still have the workbook that I 134 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,040 had prepared for that. 135 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:22,460 And I went over at the time three act story 136 00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:24,260 structure and storytelling. 137 00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:26,960 So the core elements that I've been sharing 138 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,730 with you all in this podcast and the work 139 00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:30,980 that we do with our clients, all those core 140 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,380 elements were there from the very beginning, 141 00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:35,450 but my framing has changed. 142 00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:37,970 How I see the purpose of our role as 143 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,850 speakers has changed, not only because of my 144 00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:42,950 development as a speaking coach, but also 145 00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:45,620 because of these trends that I see with all 146 00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:47,930 of the online information and now artificial 147 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,390 intelligence that our audiences have. 148 00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:52,820 So what exactly is wrong with this idea of 149 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,440 teaching from the stage? 150 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,480 As I mentioned earlier, if you're doing a 151 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,450 workshop that is that is the expectation and 152 00:05:59,450 --> 00:06:02,180 that's the appropriate learning environment, 153 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:04,590 you generally have enough time, at least two 154 00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:06,890 hours, sometimes four hours or an entire 155 00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:10,220 day. So as the expert, you're teaching the 156 00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:12,380 attendees at the workshop something in 157 00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:14,540 particular, and you have the time and the 158 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,830 space to do that. 159 00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:17,660 And the attendees know that that's what 160 00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,280 they're showing up for. They're showing up 161 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,770 with their notebooks ready to take notes 162 00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:23,420 because that's what they're there to learn. 163 00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,940 But if you're presenting at a lunch and 164 00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:28,760 learn, or at a 30 minute session, at a 165 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,130 monthly meeting of a business group, or 166 00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:33,140 you're speaking at a conference breakout 167 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,300 session, and this is definitely the case for 168 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:38,480 a keynote, you're actually not there to 169 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:39,740 teach the audience. 170 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:43,010 Now, you most likely have 30 minutes, maybe 171 00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:44,960 45 minutes with the audience. 172 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,450 That's really not enough time to teach them 173 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:51,170 something. You're there instead to introduce 174 00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:54,170 something new, to get your audience to think 175 00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:57,260 differently about the topic, and to spark 176 00:06:57,260 --> 00:07:00,740 curiosity, to spark curiosity in the topic 177 00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:03,290 that you're presenting, and also to spark 178 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,150 curiosity in you. 179 00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:08,180 In you as that go to expert, in you as that 180 00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:10,640 service provider that they can work with. 181 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,310 I think back to some recent podcast episodes 182 00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:14,720 that I've done with clients. 183 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,420 Danielle Hayden was on the podcast this past 184 00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,880 December talking about how when we work 185 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,100 together in a VIP day to create her new 186 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:25,310 signature talk, that we integrated thought 187 00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:28,580 leadership and planting sales seeds into her 188 00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:30,710 presentation. We completely reframe the 189 00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:32,810 content away from teaching and training and 190 00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:35,360 into thought leadership, and as a result, 191 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,580 she has attracted more clients for her 192 00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:39,470 business than she ever has before. 193 00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:42,080 I think back to Terry DeLuca, who was on the 194 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,590 podcast last summer of 2023, and the same 195 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,030 thing when we work together on the Thought 196 00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:49,580 Leader Academy and her VIP day to create her 197 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:52,490 talks, we really focused on storytelling and 198 00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:54,350 thought leadership. Instead of teaching and 199 00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:56,600 training in these speaking engagements that 200 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,940 she's doing, and she's getting the best 201 00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,400 feedback, paid speaking engagements and 202 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,630 attracting clients. 203 00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:04,850 Let me give you an example from two of my 204 00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:07,310 talks, and how I have reframed this idea of 205 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:08,600 teaching from the stage. 206 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,300 The first example is a 45 minute talk that I 207 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,250 gave at a women's event a couple of years 208 00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:16,040 ago. The topic was this idea of shifting 209 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,440 from expert to thought leader, and during 210 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,690 that talk, I. Centered my thought leadership 211 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:23,420 framework. These layers that build your 212 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,220 thought leadership, your expertise is at the 213 00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:27,440 bottom, then your big idea, then your 214 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,150 personal story, and then the emotional 215 00:08:29,150 --> 00:08:30,260 courage to dig deep. 216 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,970 And as I explained in that talk and I've 217 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,310 explained here on the podcast, most of us 218 00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:35,660 stop at the expertise. 219 00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:38,120 Maybe we'll have a big idea, but most of us 220 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,400 do not go to the personal story. 221 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,500 And then definitely not digging really deep 222 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,440 into the things that reveal more about who 223 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,180 we are and by extension, then help the 224 00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:49,100 audience to understand themselves better. 225 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,350 And that's what I was doing in that talk. 226 00:08:51,350 --> 00:08:53,240 Helping the women in that audience 227 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,760 understand themselves better, understand 228 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,590 perhaps what was holding them back in their 229 00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:59,840 business or their career, or what they 230 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,760 wanted to do as speakers because they 231 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,860 weren't stepping into thought leadership. 232 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:06,350 I had examples from clients. 233 00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:08,240 I had cultural references. 234 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,250 I asked questions of the audience, I got 235 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,290 them participate. And really, my goal was to 236 00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,120 get them to think differently. 237 00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:16,610 And as a result of that talk, we got several 238 00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:18,710 thought Leader Academy clients because my 239 00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:21,350 talk sparked curiosity in them about this 240 00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:22,610 idea of thought leadership. 241 00:09:22,610 --> 00:09:25,610 And my talk sparked curiosity in me and the 242 00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:26,720 work that we do. 243 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,030 Another example that comes to mind is the 244 00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,280 marketing AI conference that I spoke at last 245 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,010 summer on Brand Voice and artificial 246 00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:37,070 intelligence. Now, this was a jam packed 247 00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:38,930 presentation about 45 minutes. 248 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,750 I think I had 60 slides, maybe more than 249 00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:44,720 that. I do like slides, and so I show plenty 250 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,080 of examples of using ChatGPT to make sure 251 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,090 that it reflects your brand voice and how to 252 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,460 do that. But I didn't just do that. 253 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:55,040 So it wasn't just teaching them how to use 254 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,130 ChatGPT in that way, because really, again, 255 00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:01,220 a conference session with over 100, 125 256 00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:04,160 people in it where you only have 45 minutes, 257 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,530 is not the way to actually teach something 258 00:10:06,530 --> 00:10:08,750 that they can go learn and apply. 259 00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:11,150 Instead, I wanted to get them to think 260 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,460 differently about how artificial 261 00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,980 intelligence number one is going to impact 262 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,120 our brand voice. 263 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,340 Number two, how they can leverage artificial 264 00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:21,500 intelligence to actually understand their 265 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,260 brand voice better. So I, I took the bird's 266 00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,870 eye view of this. In addition to giving them 267 00:10:26,870 --> 00:10:29,720 specific examples, I also engaged the 268 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,340 audience a lot with questions. 269 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,380 I had props that were paddles. 270 00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:36,080 One side had a human, a smile emoji, the 271 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,480 other side represented AI with the robot 272 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,880 emoji. So lots of engagement and the 273 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,100 feedback that I got from the attendees was 274 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,550 that it was such an energetic and engaging 275 00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:49,040 presentation. They said it was excellent and 276 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,420 really one of the best there. 277 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,830 So I want you to think about for the 278 00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:53,930 presentations that you're delivering, how 279 00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:55,250 can you get the audience to think 280 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,840 differently about your topic? 281 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,730 What is your thought leadership message? 282 00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:01,700 How can you spark curiosity in that topic 283 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,670 and in you? And I also want you to think 284 00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:07,550 about what is the audience there for? 285 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:10,250 As I mentioned, if you are doing a workshop, 286 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,930 the attendees know they're showing up. 287 00:11:11,930 --> 00:11:13,190 They're there to learn something in 288 00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:14,960 particular. But if you're going to a 289 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,480 conference as an attendee, I don't know 290 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,790 about you, but at a conference, yes, I'm 291 00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:21,470 there to learn new things, but I'm also 292 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:24,680 there to socialize, to network, to meet new 293 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,690 people, to kind of get the lay of the land. 294 00:11:26,690 --> 00:11:28,940 Like, what are what are different people 295 00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:31,190 doing related to that particular type of 296 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,830 conference? What is what is the what are the 297 00:11:33,830 --> 00:11:34,910 industry trends? 298 00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:36,560 What are the things that are on people's 299 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,620 minds? So we're there to socialize. 300 00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:41,570 We're there to get the big picture. 301 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,310 And really we're also there to be 302 00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:45,050 entertained at their all conferences should 303 00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:47,180 be fun and we should be enjoying them as 304 00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:49,340 well. So if we're not teaching from the 305 00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:52,070 stage anymore, what is it that we should be 306 00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:54,740 doing instead? And here's what I recommend. 307 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,330 And if you've been listening to this podcast 308 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,640 a while, this is not going to surprise you. 309 00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:03,260 I want you to engage from the stage as a 310 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:05,990 speaker. You are a leader and you hold space 311 00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:07,310 for the audience. 312 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:09,110 When we work with our clients and our 313 00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:11,180 thought Leader Academy in the VIP days to 314 00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:13,970 create their signature talk in act one of 315 00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:16,430 our signature Talk Canvas framework, we 316 00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:19,970 really dig in into what is the audience 317 00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:21,260 want? What are their goals? 318 00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:23,750 What's getting in the way that they see is 319 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:26,060 getting in their way? And what do you see as 320 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:27,950 the speaker, as the thought leader, as the 321 00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,600 expert in your industry? 322 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,400 What do you see as really getting in the 323 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,590 way? And what you're doing there is you're 324 00:12:33,590 --> 00:12:35,690 empathizing with your audience, you're 325 00:12:35,690 --> 00:12:38,840 validating what they're experiencing, and 326 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,390 you're providing them with the belief and 327 00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:43,970 the inspiration that the change that you're 328 00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:46,010 presenting to them is possible. 329 00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,650 As a speaker, you're also presenting your 330 00:12:48,650 --> 00:12:50,810 idea. You're presenting your journey of 331 00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:52,700 discovery. You're helping the audience see 332 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,650 and think about something differently and 333 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:55,850 understand something. 334 00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,860 So understand your topic or understand 335 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,840 themselves in a new way. 336 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,840 You're also creating an emotional connection 337 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:03,920 with your audience. 338 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,590 When you think about engaging from the stage 339 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,440 instead of teaching from the stage, that 340 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,590 emotional connection comes from going deep 341 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:15,470 into your stories, going deep into those 342 00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,540 personal experiences you've had that have 343 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:21,170 shaped who you are and why this topic, why 344 00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:23,180 this message matters for you. 345 00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:25,490 Right now, we're working with some faculty 346 00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:28,130 members from the University of California to 347 00:13:28,130 --> 00:13:30,920 help them craft their Ted style talks that 348 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,900 they're going to be delivering on their 349 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,190 academic research. 350 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,780 So they only have ten minutes. 351 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,850 And we know that they have to have a really 352 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:40,850 strong through line to convey their research 353 00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,410 to a general audience. 354 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:44,600 And of course, as academics, they are so 355 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,730 well versed in their scholarship, in their 356 00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:48,860 research. And as we're working with them, we 357 00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,660 want to make sure that those key points come 358 00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:53,000 across. But we're having them lead with 359 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,000 story. We're asking them questions like, why 360 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,590 does this topic matter to you? 361 00:13:57,590 --> 00:14:00,170 Why did you pick this academic topic to 362 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:02,780 research and of all the different ones in 363 00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:05,360 your field, and has been so fascinating to 364 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,310 hear their stories about why this topic 365 00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:09,440 matters to them, and as soon as they answer 366 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,270 those questions in our workshop, and as soon 367 00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:14,180 as they put that story into their outlines, 368 00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:17,420 all of a sudden the research comes to life. 369 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:21,050 All of a sudden, as that general audience, I 370 00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:23,240 feel a connection to their topic and I care 371 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,760 about their topic in a different way. 372 00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:28,310 The other thing with engaging from the stage 373 00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:31,220 is that it's really about being present with 374 00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,290 your audience. They're in the moment. 375 00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,880 It's not about memorizing your entire 30 376 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,600 minute or 45 minute talk, making sure that 377 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,120 you have every word and every turn of phrase 378 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,640 perfect. Instead, it's about a two way 379 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,710 conversation with your audience. 380 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:49,070 I really see speaking as a relationship 381 00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:50,780 between the speaker and the audience. 382 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,340 I know this is kind of radical. 383 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:54,980 It's it's very different from what a lot of 384 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:57,770 speaking coaches and other people look at 385 00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:58,820 speaking as. 386 00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:02,180 But I really see this even me sharing this 387 00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,970 podcast content with you, I really feel like 388 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:07,880 this is a two way conversation between me 389 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,820 and you as the listener, even though I can't 390 00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:12,980 see you and we're not even doing this at the 391 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,510 same time. This is asynchronous 392 00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:17,870 communication, but is a relationship because 393 00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:20,240 I'm trying to understand what your goals 394 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,640 are, what your challenges are, and how I can 395 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:23,810 help you to get there. 396 00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,210 This is why I share stories, and I bring on 397 00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:28,340 our clients so that they can share their 398 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:30,200 stories and their journeys as well. 399 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,400 Now, thinking of speaking as a two way 400 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,490 conversation doesn't necessarily mean that 401 00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:38,590 your audience is talking out loud back to 402 00:15:38,590 --> 00:15:39,850 you. Now, of course they could. 403 00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:42,700 If you have the time and the space and the 404 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,530 audience size is right and the venue is 405 00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:46,840 right, then you can absolutely ask questions 406 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,000 and have the audience share back out loud. 407 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,390 But even if they're not talking out loud, 408 00:15:52,390 --> 00:15:54,400 it's still a two way conversation. 409 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,670 Are you asking reflective questions along 410 00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:03,410 the way? Are you having them pause and 411 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:07,720 reflect? Are you pausing and letting points 412 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,050 sink in? And are you shifting the mood as 413 00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:12,760 needed for your audience? 414 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,300 Whether you need to add some humor to make 415 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,440 it a little bit lighter. 416 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,630 Maybe you need to bring the energy up 417 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,490 because people are getting a little bit 418 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,730 tired. Maybe you need to give a moment for 419 00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:26,530 something that's a little bit heavier in 420 00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:27,550 your content. 421 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,510 Are you truly listening and tuning in to the 422 00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:33,820 audience and what they need? 423 00:16:33,850 --> 00:16:35,920 That is your role as a speaker. 424 00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:38,680 That's why it's so much more important that 425 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,110 you engage from the stage then that you 426 00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:42,610 teach from the stage. 427 00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:45,580 As I've worked with hundreds of women over 428 00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,100 the years, I've seen that some of them are 429 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:50,890 reluctant to call themselves speakers, which 430 00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:52,420 is what I talked about on last week's 431 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:56,410 episode. And I think part of this is because 432 00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:59,050 they truly want conversations and 433 00:16:59,050 --> 00:17:01,450 relationships. They don't want to be what's 434 00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:04,480 called the sage on the stage, spouting 435 00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:07,060 talking points and lecturing to their 436 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,880 audience. And I completely understand that. 437 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:14,500 I think back to this book from the 1990s by 438 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,300 Deborah Tannen is called You Just Don't 439 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,700 Understand Women and Men in Conversation, 440 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,440 and it was on the New York Times Best Seller 441 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,690 list for nearly four years. 442 00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:24,580 And the reason I'm thinking about this is 443 00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:26,620 because there was an article written after 444 00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:29,800 the 2016 presidential election that talked 445 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,890 about Hillary Clinton's leadership style and 446 00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:34,270 her speaking style. 447 00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,640 And I'll include a link to this article in 448 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,200 the show notes. So a bit of reference 449 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,640 Deborah Tannen's work. 450 00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:43,220 And in her work, Deborah Tannen found that 451 00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,800 women tend to emphasize what she calls the 452 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,530 rapport dimension of communication. 453 00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,400 Women want to know. 454 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,350 Did a particular conversation bring us 455 00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:54,900 closer together or further apart? 456 00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:58,080 Whereas men tend to emphasize what is called 457 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,380 the status dimension, did a conversation 458 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:04,290 raise my status compared to yours? 459 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,360 Now, of course, this is the broad brush 460 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:07,860 women and men, so you can think about 461 00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:10,020 masculine and feminine qualities as well. 462 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:13,150 And so for men, talking is a way of changing 463 00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:15,220 status. If you make a great point or set the 464 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,470 terms of the discussion, you win the 465 00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:19,330 conversation. It's a competition. 466 00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:21,850 Listening, on the other hand, is a way of 467 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,370 establishing rapport, of bringing people 468 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,930 closer together. 469 00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:28,150 This is why I believe that we can give 470 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:31,300 audiences more of what they want, not what 471 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:34,330 we want. By making our talks a two way 472 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,570 conversation, we can lean into this idea 473 00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:39,220 that we want to build rapport. 474 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:41,770 We want to build relationships with our 475 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:44,350 audiences, not that not have a status 476 00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,180 competition where we're trying to seem like 477 00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:48,310 we're better because we happen to be on the 478 00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:49,930 stage, or we happen to be standing in front 479 00:18:49,930 --> 00:18:51,790 of them. So as you think about your next 480 00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:54,190 speaking engagements, whether it's in-person 481 00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:56,710 or virtual, I want you to really think about 482 00:18:56,710 --> 00:18:59,200 how can you truly engage the audience? 483 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,090 How can you be present for them? 484 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,560 How can you lead them? 485 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,170 How can you listen to them while you're 486 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:06,880 presenting your content to them? 487 00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:09,580 I think this is really good to change the 488 00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:11,860 relationship you have with yourself as a 489 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:14,170 speaker and the relationship that you have 490 00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:15,520 with your audiences. 491 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:17,860 If you would like to work with us, you can 492 00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:19,720 enroll in our Thought Leader Academy. 493 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,460 You can get all the details of speaking your 494 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,560 Brand.com slash Academy. 495 00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:26,320 We also have a brand new live online 496 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,990 workshop that we're hosting all around. 497 00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,970 Building your speaking confidence. 498 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,430 You can get the details for that as speaking 499 00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:37,060 your Brand.com slash speaking workshop. 500 00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:37,930 Again, that's speaking your 501 00:19:37,930 --> 00:19:41,200 brand.com/speaking-workshop. And all of 502 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,850 these links are in the show notes, so you 503 00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:44,200 can click on them there. 504 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,680 As a podcast listener you save $100 on this 505 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,970 workshop. Use the coupon code podcast 100. 506 00:19:51,970 --> 00:19:56,110 That's all together. No Spaces Podcast 100. 507 00:19:56,110 --> 00:19:58,570 During this online workshop, you're going to 508 00:19:58,570 --> 00:20:00,670 learn how to use our signature Talk Canvas 509 00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:03,670 framework to prepare for any presentation, 510 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,500 speech, or interview you have. 511 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,420 Whether you have five minutes or you have 512 00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,880 five weeks to prepare, we really want you to 513 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,160 get comfortable with impromptu speaking as 514 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,540 well as prepared speaking. 515 00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,760 You're also going to identify your key 516 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,220 stories and learn how to tell a great story. 517 00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:20,320 That's really going to help you to engage 518 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,480 your audience and to connect with them in a 519 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,520 deeper way. We're also going to talk about 520 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,890 the best ways to practice and prepare to 521 00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:29,290 lessen your nerves, and to deliver with 522 00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:32,050 confidence. You'll get training, feedback, 523 00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:34,240 and coaching from us so that you can quickly 524 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,040 develop your speaking skills. 525 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,960 Again, get all the details of speaking your 526 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:44,960 Brand.com slash speaking Dash workshop. 527 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,370 We're going to wrap up our speak with 528 00:20:48,370 --> 00:20:51,790 confidence next week with a short meditation 529 00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:54,220 and visualization I have for you that you 530 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:56,080 can listen to before your speaking 531 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,660 engagements. Until next time, thanks for 532 00:20:58,660 --> 00:20:59,380 listening.