Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

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What makes for a loving relationship that lasts? For over 40 years Drs. John and Julie Gottman have devoted their life to answering this question with the research and practice of fostering healthy, long-lasting relationships. Through studying thousands of couples, publishing over 200 academic articles, more than 40 books on the topic and co-founding the Gottman’s Institute, John and Julie have created interventions to change the way that couples relate to each other to help people succeed in the future of their relationships. In the conversation, John and Julie give me a masterclass in everything there is to know about building long lasting relationships, we cover the four key reasons why relationships fail, communication strategies, rituals to cultivate deeper connection and their latest book The Seven Day Love Prescription which distills their work into a seven-day action plan for deeper intimacy. Enjoy :)

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📚Check out my New York Times Bestselling book Feel-Good Productivity!
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(00:00) Intro
(02:06) Why do we need research about love and relationships?
(04:37) Research methodology for analysing couples
(06:42) What are the things that predict a relationship will be happy?
(07:52) The 4 reasons why relationships fail
(16:04) Strategies to overcome anger
(18:35) What can people do to overcome conflict in relationships
(24:30) Why logic vs emotion is a false dichotomy
(33:10) Common mistakes men make in relationships
(38:12) Your research into LGBTQ+ relationships
(40:18) The biggest difference between men and women in relationships
(43:40) Decision making in relationships
(48:01) Rituals of connection
(51:01) Relationship reviews
(56:35) What is the function of marriage?
(01:07:31) Is there an ideal age gap?
(01:10:44) Relationships therapy and pre-commitment counselling
(01:14:12) The love prescription formula
(01:26:06) Book writing

🔗 CONNECT WITH JOHN AND JULIE

📕 The Seven Day Love Prescription
📱 The Gottman Card Decks App
💻 Website
🐦 Twitter
📸 Instagram

🔗 CONNECT WITH ALI

📚 Download my FREE 100 Books To Live Your Best Life Reading List
🎥 YouTube Channel
💻 Website
📸  Instagram
🐦  Twitter
👥 Linkedin

Find the show notes and the transcript on the website: https://aliabdaal.com/podcast/

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Creators & Guests

Host
Ali Abdaal
Producer
Amber Baxter-Clarke

What is Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal ?

Dr Ali Abdaal is the world’s most followed productivity expert and author of Feel-Good Productivity, the brand new book that reveals why the secret to productivity isn’t discipline, it’s joy. In his podcast, Deep Dive, Ali sits down with inspiring creators, thinkers, entrepreneurs and high performers to help listeners build lives that they love.

Ali’s cheerful style, positive approach, and well-researched content have made him a trusted voice when it comes to productivity. The internet means that we have access to more knowledge and information than ever before - but it can also be overwhelming. So, Ali and his expert guests focus on simple, scientifically proven, and actionable steps you can take to make real changes in your life.

Ali’s a firm believer that happiness isn’t the result of success - in fact, happiness is the key to success in the first place. Ali made this discovery while working as a doctor in a chaotic hospital ward. In the past, hard work had been the answer to every obstacle in his life. But no amount of hard work was going to combat panic and burnout.

So, Ali dedicated himself to figuring out a new approach to productivity - one that focuses on enjoying the journey and working towards truly meaningful goals. Deep Dive, with its authentic and engaging conversations, will give you all the insights you need to do just that.