Have you ever been in a situation with a family member where you keep running
into the same types of conflicts, the same old song and
dance? I certainly have. And one of those people is my
mother. And I know she's probably listening, but
my mother has a
personality that I can forget. She has this
personality where she's on the disc personality profile in
S. She doesn't like change. She doesn't like
surprises. She likes things to be orderly. And I can
be an I a spontaneous type person. So I trigger
a lot of fear and it's caused a lot of conflict over the years when
I remember to accept her and to handle it the right
way, which in this case ended up with a hug.
I do much better.
So this is the Decide youe Legacy podcast. Welcome. And
today we're going to talk about using the DISC personality assessment to improve
your relationships. Relationships are such
a big part of happiness in life and you can do some things that will
make a big difference. You're going to learn about this
wonderful tool that I believe is
sometimes misunderstood. We're going to give give you a lot of clarity
on how to use this effectively. So if you haven't already, give me a
rating and review on Apple or Spotify, subscribe, share it with your friends. That helps
the Decide youe Legacy podcast grow organically to
help more people. And that's what we do. And
I'm your host, Adam Gragg. I have been an executive
coach, legacy Coach for over 25 years,
Family Therapist for over 25 years. I founded Decide youe Legacy in
2012. We're a corporate development and executive
coaching firm and work with people all over the US
and sometimes in other countries as well. Our
purpose as an organization is to empower every
person and organization to live courageously. Let's
start with some courage here. I'm going to challenge you to
do courageous things during this episode and I'm going to share one
a courageous action I took recently to give you some inspiration.
So because nothing is more important to your mental health
than living with courage.
Okay, so I had
a. Well, I'll just reference that situation with my mom. I had a situation with
my mom and I wanted to have a conversation
about an important topic that I've been putting off
probably for couple months.
And then I prepared some for it. It
actually didn't go really well. It kind of blew up because I
didn't obviously prepare as well as I could have, but it went a lot better
than it would have. And it was a courageous. It's kind of the Kind of
conversation. You're like, I could do anything else but have this talk
right now. Like, I can wash dishes, I can go on your roof
and replace shingles. I can do anything you guys want me to do, I'm
willing to do, but I do not want to talk about this. You know, and
they didn't even know what I was going to talk about, but I had the
conversation, and it actually went a lot better the next day.
That night it didn't go very well, but the next day it actually went better.
So I'm glad I did it. So what is. You
start with an action right now, yourself. So who is somebody that you work with
or that you're related to or a friend or
somebody in your life that you tend to clash with a bit?
Okay, so you just have some trouble communicating with them. Think
about them as you listen to this podcast. You're going to get some
tools to make some progress.
And at the end of this podcast, you're going to
feel like, I have something I can do now with that
person that is difficult. Okay? So you're going to go to work
tomorrow or today, or you're going to see your buddy or
talk to someone in your family and say, I now can handle this situation
much better. So I'm a fan
of the disc assessment. I have experience
utilizing a lot of them. So the Myers Briggs
Personality Type Indicator. I have experience using
a number of others and training. And since I've
been a licensed therapist for a long time, I've utilized them
in many different settings. I mean, commonly with workplace
teams, commonly with families, with married couples,
so people can gain a better understanding of themselves. One of
the reasons I love the disc so much is there's four different categories and then
the history of the disc. So there's connection to Carl
Hume, who is somebody that I've been inspired by, a famous
psychiatrist, and there's even some connection to
the four temperaments, Socrates. It goes way back. Okay. It
was popularized more so in the early part of the 19th century,
after World War II. But it goes in waves where
it becomes more popular, and then people start forgetting about it. And then you see
it utilized in corporate development again. And I tend to like to
use this consistently. It becomes a language people can use,
and you also don't want to take it too seriously. So
if you do the assessment, which I'm going to give you a chance to take
our free disc assessment in the show notes, but you
want to look at your results and say, huh, okay,
this does seem like me versus the other four styles.
And you're gonna know as you talk to friends and family and you get
their opinion on it, as you get more experience
grasping the tool as well as you're gonna do as
you, as you will during this podcast, you're gonna start to say, yeah,
that's me. And then maybe you take some kind of assessment on the disc,
which, by the way, there's a lot of them out there. Cause it is public
domain, I believe. No, it is actually. So.
And you're going to look and say that, that as you get.
That doesn't resonate with me, you know, that that really isn't me right there. But
this disc style is, is, is me, you know. So I want you to get
a sense of, and I challenge most of my clients to get a
sense of what's their highest disc style and then what's their lowest. Because the lowest
is going to show some weaknesses, that they have some gaps, especially when they relate
to other people. So I'm a fan. That's some of the
history, briefly. And I am going to reference a book
called. Well, I actually forget the name of the book,
but I am going to reference a book. So keep listening and
you'll get the recommendation of a book that's really good on this topic for you
to read, to go deeper as well. And this is going to benefit
you in pretty much all of your relationships, your family,
your co workers. It's going to benefit you dealing with neighbors, people you don't know,
people you're just getting to know, people you're wanting to sell to,
new people that are customers that you're just getting to relate to.
And it's going to show you that you can tweak some aspects, like I
did with my mom, by laying out a plan and not
proposing too much change, but just a small change
rather than a big change, which helps her to decrease her anxiety,
not to go down the different path, which is the I path, which is
that enthusiasm and passion and some perceive as even
manipulation. But manipulation is not always bad. It can be a positive
thing to help some do things that are positive for them. You know, like encouraging
your child to exercise or eat healthy. You know, that can be
manipulating, encouraging them to go to their. Go to bed at 8:00 and
not 11:00 when they're in fourth grade. That can be, you know, that's a form
of manipulation. It's a good, healthy one. In fact, if you don't
manipulate people you care about and lead and are parents to
at times Then you're really not doing your job. So let me just go
over the four different styles of the
disc. So the D style, that is
a dominant driver type person. They're
decisive, they're tough, they're impatient,
they're strong willed, they're goal oriented, they're often
competitive, they are frequently come
across as being demanding and they're pretty
independent. A lot of your
typical quote unquote leadership CEO
type people can fit into this category. They're comfortable,
more comfortable than the average, than the other styles, with people
not liking them or resisting them because they are
very visionary. Often they have a big goal in mind, even
to the detriment of other people around them sometimes because it
can be too pushy, it can be too driven for other people around
them. So if you think of an animal that represents a D, I like
to think of a lion. You know, they're the king of the jungle.
They are at the top of the pecking order. They
tend to be, well, I mean,
they lie around all day, do nothing while other people serve them kind of thing.
You know, not that the D's do that. Come on. But
a D style, they, they don't
necessarily listen well. They're very direct.
Sometimes they're so direct it can be,
it can rub people the wrong way at times. But then there's the
I style, and this is my
style right here. So think an influencing type person,
extroverted and inspiring person. All right,
so an I style, they are social, they're often
talkative, they're open, they're more prone to gossip.
In fact. In fact, if you have some kind of gossipy person around you,
they may be an I style that just. They talk things
through their external processors. They like to
just hear their own voice and they become more comfortable. Not necessarily in a
bad way. I mean, that's just their comfort area. They're
persuasive, they're often more spontaneous than the other
styles. They're impulsive, can be impulsive,
it can struggle with time management. They can be emotional,
overly emotional at times, have trouble controlling their emotions, and
they can talk more than listen. So they're not always the best
question askers. That's probably why I try to
remember consistently to be curious, because I can tend to want to
make my point clear rather than understand other people's
perspective. So when you think of an animal that represents the eye style,
think of an otter. You know, that's really one of my favorite animals
as well. Just because of how playful they are. And you
know, they are very Social, Very good.
They just are fun. I wish I could have a pet otter. I mean, I
don't have someone probably does have a pet otter somewhere, but I don't have a
pet otter. But otter is the I style. So then there's the S
style, which is the style that I would say my mom would fall into the
category mom would fall into. And they're the steady, stable
people in your life. You know, they're calm, often, they're pretty
laid back. They are often
the glue in a family. You know, they may do all the cooking or the
planning. They are good at organizing
often. They can often come
across as pretty caring and patient and amiable, you
know, flexible. Although they're really the least flexible of the four styles.
They have the biggest challenge with change.
They're often modest, not flashy. They can be
indecisive, a very high level of trust,
and they're sensitive to a lack of trust in other
people. So they can be cautious with other people and often be
so cautious that they misread. So there are weaknesses to all of these.
And if you think of an animal that represents a. An
S, you know, which is probably my lowest area is a golden
retriever. I think a dog in general. I just love dogs
in general. So they're loyal,
you know, I mean, a puppy golden retriever would be more
like an eye, probably, but, you know, a golden retriever, over time, a mature
adult golden retriever. So. And because it's my lowest area, I can be kind
of negative towards S's. I kind of think of them as sloths.
They're so slow and, you know, because they are generally can be
slower on things because of that resistance to
change. But they're also very methodical about their change, you know, and
strategic about change. So then there's the final style of the disc, the
D, I, S, the C. Think of them as the correct,
compliant, careful person.
They are precise. They're exact. You know, they're very
analytical. They are logical and
systematic in their approach, often quiet. They
don't express a whole lot of emotions, strong emotions.
They're careful and formal. They don't have
trouble with being very formal in their approach. So they give
things presented in a logical order, in a systematic order. They do a lot of
research and they're good at doing research. They're
disciplined people. And hopefully,
as I share these different four styles, you're kind of resonating with one of them.
The D, the I, the S, or the C, and the
C. An animal that represent the sea would Be a beaver. You think
of what goes into building to
doing what beavers do. I mean, they're planning things
out. They're collecting all the resources to build the beaver
dam. And they're,
They're. I mean, as I view them, they would have a lot of.
I mean, I know a lot of it's. Is probably
instinctual, but they have a lot of thought put into what they do.
That's a beaver. So data. The C is
data driven. The D is
very decisive and direct. The eye is very
playful and outgoing. And the
S. We don't even want to talk about S's, but I guess
I have to. No, the. The S is going to be very steady, you know,
and stable. They're, they're, like I said, they're the glue. They're
very good at keeping things going. It's
just never at the pace that an I or a D wants it. I mean,
a C and you can think too like a C and an S. I find
them getting along pretty well. A D and, And A, and an I.
I find them getting along pretty well because they move at a faster pace.
Now, there's some clashes between an I
person and a C person because they're wanting to move more,
way faster than a. Than a C who's ca. Who's more cautious. You
know, there's clashes between a D and an S because a D
is Make a decision and an S is like decisions
are hard. You know, change is really hard. When a D can
be. Make two changes too fast, that actually causes a lot of
problems. So here's. Here's three major
benefits that will motivate you. By the end of this episode, you're gonna be motivated
to use these tools, to use this tool. So one of the major benefits is
that it's gonna help you understand yourself. And in the last
podcast episode called the Courage to be yourself, episode 143, which
we'll link to in the show notes, I go into this topic in more depth
and I reference actually the disc assessment in that podcast as well. So. And
I know understanding myself, if I remember that I am, and I
can identify that. Why I'm not dealing with stress
well right now or why I feel off today is because I am lacking
socialization. I haven't talked to people. And, you know, I
have a daughter and me and a dog, you know, so I am alone sometimes,
you know, but I have to go out and study in coffee shops. Even just
seeing people around me who I can talk to when I take a break or
when I'm working outside of the office, I have to go and work around other
people. So I'll go and work in a social setting like a Starbucks
or a, or a Barnes and Noble and get stuff done. And I just find
it triggers something in me to help me to actually be more productive
because I'm around other people and I know I can take a break and I'm
not alone. So I need to have spontaneity in my
life in order to actually be happy. If I don't go out and do some
stuff that I'm kind of listening to, anxiety, it's
telling me not to do and I go do it anyway, then I'm gonna fall
into this trap that can be a downward spiral for me. So it helps me
to understand myself when I know and I accept the fact that that is me.
I'm an I. I was working with a
team recently and there's some conflict between
a number of team members and another leader.
So, and all of them, except one were, were women are
women on this team. And I had them
actually at the beginning of my coaching with them and I've been meeting with
them on a consistent basis and having follow up
meetings, usually meet for like three or four hours. They
did this assessment on their own and they brought their results and had did a
little research and everything. And she came out as a very high D
and she was working with a whole bunch of
S's which that was a bad mix.
I mean you need all the styles on a good healthy team.
So you think of on a good healthy workplace team you're going to have
I style people who are the ones who go out and meet people
at social events and make connections that you wouldn't make through
any other means because they're the ones talking and bantering and
just understanding somebody at a way in a way where they're starting to
build a little level of trust. Now
you need D's on your team because you have to have people that are good
finishers and that push things forward and that are
focused and keeping their eye on the ball clearly so that things aren't
dropping off and they're even pushing and helping other people push through their fears
as well. You need C's on your team because you need people to process the
data and see where you might be going off track based
on metrics and the details. So they're doing the
research on where you should have your new office space or what kind of equipment
you should buy or what they're. The opportunities are in the marketplace or what's going
to work. And then you need S styles to be glue because they're the ones
that are planning the events and
recognizing, you know, where they're missing the mark with customers.
And they're recognizing where there's a lack in the
culture when it comes to building a solid team, the
soft skill stuff, because they're going to be very good one on one with people,
very good with building that trust as well, but in a different way
than an I style. They're a little deeper than an I style. And I style
is pretty good on the surface, Much better on the surface, and not necessarily when
you go deeper as well. So you have all these things you can
recognize as you, as you think about this for yourself
now. It's so fun to actually help
people understand on a team, a family, a
workplace team, a church team, a small group, whatever. It's so fun to understand
the different styles. And you start having these aha moments like, I know
now why we clash. You know, I know now why this is a difficult
relationship. And I can tweak some things here to make this better. And that's
taken your power back because you now know that, wow, this could really work. And
why not try it? Because a lot of the tweaks that you make are not
really costly. They're going to be awkward for you
because they're not your natural style. They're going to
potentially, at least if you're like me, you're going to feel like that's not really
going to help because I might be explaining their reactions to me based on
some kind of character issue when it's just a personality issue. And you know the
difference because there's no malice involved. There's
no, you know, it's a personality issue because they're not
intentionally trying to do something to get at you. They're just
going at a slower pace. Maybe they're not a C, where the C is going
to be on top of the details. When an eye like me, I may think
I'm a detailed person, which I have for years, but I know I'm not because
I missed the mark. And when I'm around detailed people like, who are
good at that and they are high Cs and I realized like my accountant and
my bookkeeper and even their graphic
designer, and I realize how little I know about
those things and how, how much they know and how much better they are
at that aspect of their profession than I am. So
I'm kind of dangerous. So if I know that's a weakness. And I can be
honest with myself and say that is not a strength. I should not go
there. I need people around me who can help me with that. That's why we
pay attorneys and graphic designers and
employees and contractors because of that.
So I like this activity is a fun
one where I take people through designing their
ideal space in their house or their dream vacation home.
It's one room that they get to set up just the way they want it.
And they have an unlimited budget. And the square footage
of the room is fairly unlimited as well. They can make it massive, the whole
basement or whatever. I guess it's not going to be like a warehouse or
anything like that. But then they get to design it according to their personality style.
So as I've done this with teams over the years, I find, like,
they come up with really creative ideas on what
that room would look like. You know, bookshelves, desks, gar lounge,
pool tables, hot tub, whatever. But then as they
describe it to the rest of the group, you really get to see how
their personality is reflected. And it's confirming because
it's confirming in how they describe it because a lot of times they've only just
recently been exposed to the disc. And they get to design this ideal room. Like,
oh, wow, this really aligns with that personality style. And then we get to
laugh and everything. So one guy recently, a couple weeks ago, he. We did this
activity with this. This group, it was a legacy group, actually, which we
have meet quarterly for a whole quarter. And his room was
massive and had a golf simulator in it. In fact, the
crazy part about it, he actually has this in his business. He actually has
it because he has this area which he's recently designed in
his office space. Multiple couches. You can fit like 15,
20 people in this thing. He's got, oh, I think
he has a bar in there with like his favorite
beers and all that. And he's got TVs up
in it and a poker table and. Pretty cool place. I have to
go check this thing out. It's actually in my local hometown, so I'm gonna go
check this thing out. But it was so cool to see. Like, that is exactly
what I would have, you know, the type of office I would have put as
an I style. And sure enough, he is a high I, you know, and this
guy does some crazy stuff like. And I've done this kind of thing too, but
this guy actually went to a.
We went to a Super bowl once and
somehow got special tickets to go to the after party with the
team that had actually won. And he got to meet all these cool people
at the super bowl and a number of other people in that
same legacy group. They were looking at him and I could just tell by the
reaction, saying, dude, I would never have done that because he, he said he hung
out there for like three or four hours, just meet, but he was by himself
meeting all these famous people that he
wasn't intimidated by it. He's like, yeah, dude, I got to have a beer with
the owner. And it was just so cool. And, and I'm like, and I can
just tell that some of the S's in this group, which there are a couple
were like, there's no way I would do that, you know, or I mean, I
would only do that with other people, first of all. And I would not do
that, you know, without just, I
mean, having a few beers at least, or, you know, like, it's like,
okay, they just wouldn't do that. So that's what you do. That's how you
kind of figure out, well, people are different. That's why this
book, like, I think it's a great title, Surrounded by Idiots, which I'm going to
reference in the show notes, it's by Thomas Erickson. And you get to learn all
about the disc styles here and you'll find that really helpful. It's
very, it's kind of, it's kind of, I don't
know, pretty detail oriented and stories and illustrations
too. So I think it really hits on all the different personality styles in this
actual book. So I'm sure the author probably tried to
gear his communication to all the different styles as well. So.
And that really, really brings me
to my next point here. And this is one of the other
benefits is when you understand the disc
styles, you're going to know what to do in your
communication with other people. So you're going to know how to
target the different personality styles as you pick up on that
in other people. And over time, I will guarantee
you if you make this a priority, you'll start to identify these fairly quickly and
other people as you get to know them. Because you're going to ask the types
of questions that reveal that you're going to see how they dress, you're going to
see how their office looks if you're doing business with them or how their business
looks. You're going to understand how they communicate and get a sense as to
whether they're a D style or an I style or an S style or a
C style based on how much detail they give you or how direct and firm
they are, or how decisive they are, or how impatient they are, which could
indicate that they're a D style. So you'll understand like I can interact with this
person differently and that's going to really help me to make progress in this
interaction. So you'll figure out what to
do and then you're going to figure out what not to do and so what
to do. You know why you'll figure out what you can do in this
situation. It's indicate it's probably making communication an issue.
And communication is key because it's going to make you
money. It's going to close sales as you communicate, it's
going to, you're going to sell differently to others. It's a brilliant thing.
I was just talking to someone at a real estate company about doing
some training, encouraging them to get some training on understanding the style
so that their agents can sell better
because they're going to pick up on how to interact with that specific type of
client. So a lot of people in real estate, they might need a lot more
detail and emails with metrics and sales information.
And someone else might need a lot of stories about the neighborhood and the schools.
And so that would be your I style. And someone else might need a lot
of, a lot of discussion
about the positive relationships they can make at the pool
and how social and networked this
community is and how friendly they are and how people have made best friends
for a lifetime in this neighborhood and they've made friends with other homeowners
in this neighborhood. That's the S style. It's going to really going to resonate with
that, that one on one connection. Or you may get a sense that they're a
real D style. So they just want to get to the point like what's the
price? What are the other hidden costs? How much am I going to pay a
month? What's the interest rate going to be? Let's just get them talking to their
mortgage broker, mortgage agent right away because they're a D style. Let's get it
done. Get her done. So the D,
it's like immediate feedback as well.
You concentrate with that person on the subject on the issue at
hand. They don't care about the soft stuff and the relationships. They just want a
deal or they just want to get the thing closed because they like this stinking
house. The results
oriented process right there.
So you know and think about these different styles.
Let me just give you what you want to do with the D Style, I
mean I KV already talked, I already talked about this a little bit, but give
immediate feedback. With the D style, that's what you want to do. Be quick with
them, concentrate on the subject at hand, that's what you
want to do. With the D style. Focus on the task, identify opportunities
and challenges quickly and help them
come up with solutions to those
you know that's crucial. Offer solutions, offer
alternatives, get to the point and then keep your
emotions out of it. With a D style they're not going to be
as moved by the emotional aspect, you know,
whether it's your boss and you want to share with them how you
know how stressed out you are with your job.
A D style is not going to be the right person. That's why D styles
are often not the best in my opinion. HR people, you know,
they're not the ones who show the most empathy at a lot of
times. So you want to, with a D
style, be fast, let them win or perceive that
they are winning. So you're not validating their opinions, you're not
invalidating, not with anybody, you don't want to do that. But especially with the D
style. With the D style you want to be, you want to move swiftly, get
to the point. So you come in with some bullet point highlights of
information that is going to get them seeing, understanding
that you have done the research and that you know what the results are going
to be and so they can take that and be more, even more decisive
and utilize that information to make a
good, better informed decision. That's how you're going to win them over. You know, it's
not that they won't listen. They have trouble listening because they've already in their
mind been so far down the path. They see the vision, they see where you
can go. But they need people like you, S styles and C styles and I
styles to actually help them to see a different perspective than
their own goal oriented one. What else is involved? What are the other benefits
involved? You want to communicate that to them. So now the I
style, that otter moving on from the D style, the I
style the otter be in. Show enthusiasm, that's something you want to do. Show
enthusiasm, smile, chat with them,
have that light hearted conversation, get to know them, have
fun, focus on the positive, make
it creative, let them talk and
listen and elicit more communication. So I'm
a fan of Southwest Airlines probably because I'm an I style and they're very eye
oriented. And on this last flight, the flight from
Las Vegas back to Wichita, one of the Flight attendants said,
hey, I want to just point out to you that there is a 97 year
old man on this flight. It's his very first flight in his life and
he's never flown before. And I just want us all to give a round
of applause to the captain of our
plane and then everybody. I thought that was really funny.
So if you're going to think of just two things
with an I style, you know, have fun, be fun
and be enthusiastic. You know, even if you're not
enthusiastic about their opportunity, show, try to manufacture
some level of enthusiasm that that is going to show them
that, that you care and that life can be fun
and lighthearted and that you don't have to take everything so seriously. They don't want.
They're the people that try to bring lightness to situations
and you can do that. I mean, they often need a lot of encouragement
as well because they can't get down on themselves pretty easily. They often need to
know that they have fuel behind them like their posse and to be reminded that
they have people behind them because they are social and that can
really help in those relationships. Now the S style with that person,
you want to slow down. And again, this is my mom. You want to take
your time, provide assurance along the
way. You're doing a great job. I really appreciate it. It is moving. We are
making progress. Provide them support. You know, what help do you need?
What would make your job easier so that they see that
you care? Because they are good at details. I find that S's are better at
details than the, than the D's and the I's
and, and almost as good as C's in many cases.
You want to involve them in the planning and relax around them.
So they like that one on one communication, not the ten on one communication
that an I may want. You want to secure their commitment step
by step, incrementally. They're planners, they
like to think things through. So if I'm thinking of two major things as
I communicate with the S style, the golden retriever, you
want to pet them. You want to just pet them and then comb their
hair. Just kidding. You want to be patient with
them. You really want to take the time to build trust
over time. Because a D style you
can build, I find you build trust with quicker
than with an S or a C style.
I find that they're more cautious because that
relationship could indicate change. So if they make a decision though, they're going to be
committed to it. So if that person in a sales setting makes a Decision
to buy a house. They've probably thought it through a lot. They probably done some
research on it. They've at least consulted with their C style
friends. They've looked at a lot of the
cultural or surrounding stuff related to that issue or that decision
they're going to make. And then when they make the decision,
it's like they're on board, they're on the team, they're going to go for it
at that point and then the C style for that
person want to give a lot of details. Okay, so that's something
you want to do. You want to give answers to questions, Answer their
questions patiently. And
you let them answer questions patiently because
they're thinking. So if you ask them a good question, give them time to think
it through. D styles, especially as you communicate with C styles, because you're not going
to want that. So a D style, it's really wonderful with an S or a
C when you communicate and say, hey, hey, will you research
this and then get back to me in a few days? And they're going to
have done it because that's just exactly the way they
function. Don't rush them, but delegate to them and then trust
them and they won't let you down because they
pride themselves on being thorough. Both of them, the C and the
S style, give them time to think and to decide, respect
their personal space. So I do find that they like to
have personal space that is well suited
to them. And you may have to even think about that as you set up
your offices. When you have C styles and S styles that, hey, they
are the ones who are going to value this at a higher level than other
people and be irritated by it at a higher level than others. When a D
style is like, just get her done, you know, I mean, I find some D
styles, although they may get the rap that it's like we got to have a
fancy office or whatever, they don't really care. I mean, they want to move the
ball forward. Maybe they do, but I mean that's not a lot of their
style. Sometimes they have more of a goal oriented approach and make it work.
Let's figure out how to make it work. So we have to work together on
that. So with the C style, respect their space.
Explain things carefully as well.
Examine things from all sides.
With a C style, try to look at it from
multiple perspectives, which can be hard if you're an I or a D.
Use proven ideas. So that's why the data comes into play. So if
they're buying a new car then they're going to resonate with like the mileage and
the repair record and they're going to look at whether it's been an accident and
what the car facts say when other people may not do that. In fact I
would think most people wouldn't care as much about that as a C
style or an S style, S styles will look at that too.
So if I think of two just major things or actually more than that. But
if you with a C style keep on task as well. But
two things would be be logical and use in your communication with them. So
in a sales call with supervising an employee, use data, be
logical makes a big, big
difference. So. So if you found this helpful, I would just highly
encourage you to hit the link to take our free
personality assessment and you're going to get a report, a brief one pager
on your results. You can read through and see how it resonates and that's going
to be really helpful to you and you can use it with your team. It's
all free, it's all simple. It takes you about five or 10 minutes to
complete, maybe five minutes to. But hit the link. You can get
that here and also on a link to a blog post as
well where I talk about these concepts. Working
with your workplace team. So it's ways to motivate your team
and one of those is the disc assessments. You can get some more details there
as well. So the third reason that I really encourage you to
get to utilize and understand this tool is because it's going to show you what
not to do with people. So your weakness in your low area is
a blind spot and it's going to indicate to you what not to do with
people based on their tendencies. It's going to show you some
very fundamental things that you might be doing that you got to stop doing.
And that's going to be really crucial. So let me go over all these
what not to do for each of these personality styles. For a D style relating
to a D style, what not to do is to
frustrate him or her their desire
to take action. So you can validate it. Like I want to move fast
on this as well or I can tell it seems
to me that you are ready to make a decision
quickly here or you want to make a decision quickly that's validating them and
their desire to move forward. You don't want to restrict
or hush their power,
his or her power. I mean plead and utilize the
fact that they have authority to help you. I know this is A big decision.
And I can tell you've made a lot of good decisions like this and I
want to help you make it a great decision here, you know, and so give
them that kind of respect and they'll, they'll thank you for that. They'll like that
in your life as, as you interact with them. So spend time,
do not spend time on non essential tasks like fluff stories
about this and stories about that. Like that's not how you sell a D.
Because they want to look at, they want to get factual information. They want to
keep the ball but moving. They don't want more information. This is kind of strange,
but they don't want information that's going to lead to them having to do more
research. You know, they may be, you may want to leave them with some of
that information. But as you're interacting with them, let's, let's stay on
track, let's be blunt, let's stay the
course. So one
major thing I would think of as I interact with the D's is do not
get distracted. You don't be distracted because they're going to pick
up on that. And do not be lazy, like push
through because they're gonna pick up on that too. And I'm not saying you are
lazy if you're an S or an I or a C, I'm not saying you
are, but a D is gonna pick up. I find, have more sensitivity to over
researching and overdoing things, to hesitating because of your
fear and not doing something that you
could be doing because you're overdoing it, you know. So
a great example of this is I played golf with my dad on last Wednesday
and at the turn at nine holes, I decided to use the bathroom. And it
was pretty crowded, not as crowded as you thought it was, but. And I
could, I went and I got a drink. And there was a window out of
the clubhouse area that showed where my dad was parked by
the 10th hole. And I could tell how irritated he was because there were other
people in line and I was just getting a snack at the turn and I
could just see his irritation growing. And my dad is a high D
person. And so I get out and I already knew what I was going to
get. He was going to give me a lecture about slowing other people down
and about slowing the other two people ahead of us down. And I was there
for like three or four minutes. I mean, I had to use the bathroom too.
And so I got out and I talked to my dad. He said, yeah, you're
holding everybody up. They might as well just go ahead of us and
our two playing partners, they've already gone. And I looked around and I said,
which I shouldn't have done because this has triggered them even more. I said,
you know, they're actually waiting to tee off, dad. And the people behind
us, they're actually in the clubhouse as well. But that
wasn't the right thing to do. It just irritated him more because, for one, I
was competing with him at that point on something that really wasn't
that important. And I was invalidating his
concern as well, when I could have easily said, yeah, I wanted to get a
snack, sorry for keeping you waiting, and then just moved on because I would have
owned it. And I would have said, no excuses. That's fine.
Not that big of a deal. And we move on and play golf. And he.
After a couple holes, he relaxed and let me off the hook. But it took
a while. He's a high D, so you don't want to do that. Don't put
down for an eye like me, their enthusiasm.
Like, if. If I'm really super excited about something, and
it may be a really bad idea because I have, like, 10 bad ideas to
every one decent idea, the best thing to do with me is
to say, like, somehow
show some enthusiasm. Like, that's good. That could be great in that
situation. That's really. I can tell you're excited about it. I can tell you're really
excited about it. Like, that. That, to me, is very helpful because it keeps the
fun alive in the situation. Like, I may say, like, this is the best book
ever. Everyone should read this book. And if you say, well, I don't think everyone
should read this book, that's putting down my enthusiasm. Now, if someone
says, well, Adam, there's a lot of good books there. That's a great book. And
maybe. And I can tell you're really excited about it. Maybe I should even. Maybe
I should even consider reading it myself. You're actually. You're validating
me in that interaction, which I need, because I'm
sensitive to that. So that's it. I mean, like, for an
eye, you. The big things with an eye is don't
be negative. And then do not. And
then do not. With an. With an eye. Don't be unemotional. Like.
Like, eyes will often read a lack of emotion as indifference or
invalidation. And that's so hard for a C and an S to know
how important that is. Just like it's so hard for an I oftentimes or a
D to know how important details can be and slowing down can be.
That's. I find this a real major blind spot. So don't be negative, don't be
unemotional. For an S. You want to
be some things that you, you
don't want to do is be restless. You're like we got to go now, we
got to make decision. We don't want to, we don't want to be pressured. Pressuring
them for action, to make sudden changes, to be
spontaneous. You don't want to fail to deliver
on your promises with an S because they remember what those promises
are more than a D and an I. And you can be
shocked sometimes at how much detail they will remember about something. So be very
careful because I's can make promises out of
enthusiasm that they don't deliver on or they
can speak so excitedly about a prospect or an opportunity that
they're convincing an S that they're much further down the road than they really are.
They're not doing that intentionally. But that's what you want to make sure you do
as an I or an S or a C is to make sure you are
communicating in a way where you're going to be able to follow through on that.
So just wait to communicate your enthusiasm or to make a promise. Unless you're going
to absolutely be able to carry out on it to the best of your ability.
Not perfectly, I'm not saying so. You don't want to go fast,
you don't want to be illogical with an S, you don't want to neglect the
relationship, the one on one aspect of the relationship. So things going on in their
life, things going on in their family's life, things going on in their personal life
that they reference because they're one on one relational. So a couple things, if
I was going to discount everything else, remember two things. It's with an S,
do not be controlling with them.
Now you have to have structure and everything. But to come across as
being controlling my way or the highway, that doesn't go well with an S.
And don't withhold information from them, like give them a lot of information because
they are slow and steady and they can take more of the
detail information like about the. I mean the soft skill, the soft information like the
cultural benefits, non data stuff. But communicate a lot
with them which actually works really good for an eye because they're pretty good at
communicating and they can over communicate way too much. So with a C,
things you do not want to do is keep information to yourself. You know,
be guarded in your information and your data and withhold. They'll perceive
that often as deception. And you may have to
manufacture some of that if you're a D or an I because you may feel
it's not necessary to share that information. So you over
communicate really over. Communicating with an S and a C can be very important for
an I or D. You don't want to for a C. Pressure for immediate
decisions. You can see similarities here with an S. Be too chatty.
They'll get annoyed. They'll get kind of restless with that talking
stuff. So there you can see the clash between an I and a C.
Don't be illogical. With a C they don't care
about the emotional part. They're not going to resonate with the stories, they're going to
resonate with the details and the factual information, the numbers.
Don't forget the quality of something
with a C as well because they are quality oriented. That's
why your Cs can become quality control people in their jobs. Your
Cs can become your accountants and your some types of attorneys
as well, your engineers, your architects and by
the way, an S often make. They often make very good therapists
and coaches and very good team player type
people. They're very good HR professionals because they can balance the relational
aspect with the rules as well. So
you don't want to bring up personal issues much with a C as well.
So two major things. Do not be vague with a C and
do not lack detail. Don't go
in lacking the details of that situation or
whatever you're trying to discuss. So let's go ahead and recap three major reasons why
you should grasp and understand the DISC Personality assessment. So
for one, it's going to help you understand yourself better, which helps you to relate
to people and be yourself and deal with stress and let go and relax. And
if you'll be able to be able to identify why you're stressed, if you're an
S, it's going to be change. If you're D, it's going to be that slow
processing stuff. If it's a C, it's because you don't have enough information. You know,
if it's an eye, it's, it's generally often when you're stressed it's it's because
things aren't moving, they're not social enough for you. So
you're gonna get those things and let them stick. So what
insight did you gain today by listening to this podcast?
What from today was most inspiring to you, by the end of the
day, act on that insight, talk to somebody about it,
process it with somebody, teach it to your kids. They will understand
even if they're six years old. When you
decide to do something, you're eliminating other options. You have all these different
options. And when you are focusing on your legacy, it's the impact that
your life has on other people. You decide your legacy. Nobody else gets to
decide that. I want you to remember that action
is 80% of change. Insight, which you're gaining today,
is only 20% or less. You have to take action to make it stick. A
good plan that you act on is a hundred times
better than a perfect plan that you do nothing with. Do me
a favor and share this episode with a friend. Share
it saying, you know, hey, it really helped me. This could help you and your
team or your family. And hit the link to shatterproof yourself. You know, this
is a course that you can go through and it's gonna have all kinds of
great information and worksheets and whiteboards that I've used with clients for 25
years. You can go through that at your own. Self paced,
your own. It's a self paced course and you get to let them
stick. You know, you do things, you write it down. It resonates with all the
personality styles to make the stuff stick. Hit the link. You can buy
that here. Share it with people. You know, I want to close today the way
I always do. Live the life today that you want to be
remembered for 10 years after you're gone. You decide your
legacy, nobody else. Here's the thing. Either you will
decide your legacy or by default, fear
will decide it for you. I appreciate you greatly and I'll see
you next time.