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Welcome everyone to Faith
and Purpose Podcast.

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Each episode of this podcast contains the
personal testimony of an ordinary person

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transformed by an extraordinary guide.

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My name is Kaylyn, and I'm
here to introduce this podcast

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for my friend Jesse Duke.

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Jesse is a husband, father,
author, life recovery guide, lay

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counselor, and small group leader.

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But his most important role is
disciple as a disciple of Jesus.

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Jesse created this podcast to help other
believers tell their faith stories.

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We'll be hearing the personal
testimonies of all sorts of people

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who have one thing in common.

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Jesus has transformed their lives.

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as we listen to how God has worked in
others' lives, we find encouragement

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and inspiration for our own faith walk.

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Whether you are already a believer or
just a curious seeker, we believe that

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as you listen to these stories, you will
be encouraged on your own faith journey.

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We are sure that God can speak to you
through one of these episodes and that

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you will see that our Heavenly Father
truly works all things together for our

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good when we simply love and trust him.

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If you are currently going through a
trial, we believe that you will come

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to see that your troubles, heartbreaks
and failures are not gravestones, but

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stepping stones into new life in Christ.

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Here's Jesse with today's guest.

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Jesse Duke: Welcome everybody to
Faith and Purpose Podcast  today.

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I'm very excited to have my friend
Carlos Serrano, to tell his story.

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How you doing, Carlos?

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I'm doing great, Jesse.

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Great.

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Thank you for having me here
and, for this, time that

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we're gonna spend together.

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So start at the beginning or tell
us about your childhood, your

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growing up, and how the Lord has
brought you to where you are today.

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Well, Jesse, it's been
really, uh, a journey.

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I, if I may say so.

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but like you already mentioned,
my name is, Carlos Serrano.

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I was born in Puerto Rico back in
51, so that makes me 74 years old.

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And, um.

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Tell you a little bit of, my  childhood.

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Um,

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my  father's name was Carlos, of course.

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I am Carlos Serrano.

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Um, name after him.

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My mother's name was, is Mercedeses.

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my father, he was a fisherman.

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He, you can say he was
jack of res in Puerto Rico.

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And my mother, she was a housewife.

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my father, a great man, a good man.

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but he had a weakness
and that was alcohol.

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he would drink and he would get
violent, and, so that caused

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problems in the marriage.

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My mother, of course, she was
a housewife, a, a woman that

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Live with, Christian parents.

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And she, and when she married my
father, and, so after four or five

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years, after five years, the problem
of my father's drinking caused, a

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separation where my mother, was afraid.

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He never, never touched her, never,
abused her, but she was a woman that

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was, afraid that, one day that my
father would hurt, you know, her in

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some kind of way or either or me.

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she decided to leave him and,
she, left from New Jersey.

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I'm sorry, she left from Puerto Rico
to New Jersey where she had a sister.

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And, and that was the, I guess that
was the beginning of my nightmare.

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I.

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Because I love my
father, I love my mother.

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And next thing I knew, I was in
a plane heading to Philadelphia,

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to a land that I had no idea.

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so we went to New Jersey, and my mother,
she settled there with her sister.

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And of course, the moment my father
heard about it, which, my father

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wasn't in Puerto Rico at that time
because my father was a freshman

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man, he worked, a different job.

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But there was a time where there wasn't,
there was no work in Puerto Rico.

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So he would fly to Brooklyn and he would
work there for a season, and of course he

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would send my mother money and all that to
keep us going until he would return until

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there would be work again in the island.

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so he was, he happened that, he
was in New York at that time when

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my mother went to New Jersey.

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So as soon as he heard about it.

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He, went to Jersey to see
her and to talk to her.

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But now she was even more afraid
that, what would he do if she went

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back with him after she did what
she did that, left the way she did.

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So she was really afraid.

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And then, of course, influence people
talking, saying things, but anyway,

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to make a long story short, my mother
decided not to go back with my father.

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And, I was caught up in the middle
because I wanted to be with my father.

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I wanted to be with my
mother, and it was difficult.

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So my father would, try to come
from New York every, couple weeks,

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and he would come to the school
where they put me in, See me.

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So he would wait for me after school and,
we would be together for a couple hours

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and then he would go back to New York.

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So that was working in me.

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And then of course, I didn't know the
language, it was very hard for me.

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I was in, in a situation where I
didn't understand the teachers.

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I didn't understand, what was going on.

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So I was, dealing with a lot, the bullying
in school because I didn't speak English.

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the lack of not being able
to communicate with people.

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So it was a rough time for me at that age.

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I had to be about six or seven years old.

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so anyway, one day my father
came to see me and I told my

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father that I wanted to leave.

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I wanted to be with
him, not with my mother.

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And my father's, he just,
he said, you want to go?

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let's go.

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And, I left with him just like that.

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My mother, of course, she
couldn't do nothing about it.

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she didn't know how to speak English.

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She didn't know how to anything.

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She didn't know how to call
the police or whatever.

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so anyway, I went to New York
with my father and things were

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not like what I thought they were
gonna be because, my father was

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working and now I wasn't in school.

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it was hard for him to keep me.

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he end up sending me to,
Puerto Rico to my grandparents.

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House to his mom and my
grandfather, his dad.

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And they were all already, they were old.

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They were really old.

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But anyway, they took me in
and, they put me in school.

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So there, even though I missed my mother
and my father, because he stayed in

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New York, my mother was in New Jersey.

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So now I was living with my grandparents,
and at least I was back in my environment.

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I was in school for a little while.

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But, like I said, they were old.

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they could not help me like with
my homework or anything like that.

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So my grandmother used to like,
get some, some of the kids in the

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neighborhood to help me with, my school,
work, homework and stuff like that.

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so after a while, my parents, my
grandparents could not keep me no longer,

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so they sent me back to my mother.

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So now when I went back to my mother, It
so happened that she had met somebody,

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I figured a couple years had gone
by, or a year or so I met somebody.

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And I was there with her for a
while and the person that she had

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met now, seems to really love her.

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But, at first he showed, that he liked
me, but then he married my mother,

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and then once he married my mother,
he showed his true colors that I

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wasn't part of the picture, so we
haven't, we started having problems.

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it seems like everything that I
did in the house, it bothered him.

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If I open the refrigerator, bother him.

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If I turn the TV on, bother him if
I go outside and play, bother him.

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just about everything.

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So we created an environment where,
was strive all the time between.

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My mother, him, and me.

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So my mother end up sending me to my
grandmother's house on my mother's side.

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So I was with them, they were
old, like again, neither one

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knew had a read or right.

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And it was difficult, very
difficult living with this

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grandmother on my mother's side.

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So she kept me for a while and next thing
I know they sent me back to my mother.

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Now my mother, already started,
having started a family.

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I have, three brothers and one
sister, and so I was there.

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Things really got rough.

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Really, really got rough.

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because now I was a little, I was a
little bit older and, and I could, we

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had confrontations between him and me.

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And, so one time we really
went at it in such a way, I

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had to be about 14 years old.

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And we really had it, you know,
I mean, it was really rough.

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So my mother decided that, this was not
gonna work, this and that and the other.

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So I, I was sent to Puerto Rico again.

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So I spent from the age of six years
old to about 14, just going back and

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forth from one, one place to another.

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Then I came, I went to
back to Puerto Rico.

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I was there for a while.

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And, an uncle of mine who I admire.

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He was like, my God, this good
looking guy, nice dressed nice,

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the nice car, he had it all.

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And I always looked up to him.

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And, so it so happened that
when I was in Puerto Rico, he

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came to visit my grandmother.

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and, I actually begged him, please take
me, which you want, take me with you,

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I don't want to be here in Puerto Rico.

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So he said, if you can convince
your father, I'll take you.

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I, yeah, begged my father to please let
me go, because I, at least I had a better

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opportunity here in the States then I,
in Puerto Rico, over there at that time

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where you have a sugar cane, you either
gonna end up cutting sugar cane or

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fishing, because that was the industry,
that was what's going on over there.

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So my father, he, because of his love for
me, he allowed me to come with my uncle.

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And, so I live with my uncle in,
in Camden, New Jersey, little town.

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And I was there with him for,
a while and there was, a little

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problem between him and his wife.

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And we end up both in the streets.

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So, uh, uh, uh, in other words, I between
the age of, I would say six years old.

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I was 15, 16.

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I lived here.

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I lived here, there and everywhere.

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I live with grandmothers and my mother's
side, my grandparents on my father's side,

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I live with uncles, cousins, you name it.

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But then eventually around
I was 15, 6, 15 and a half.

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I would say my uncle, rented me a room
in this house where they rented rooms.

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it was something they did
back in the days, and I.

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I was happy there.

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I had this little room, it wasn't much,
but that, I felt comfortable there.

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It was the first time I had
my own bed and all that.

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So I would, live in my room.

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I would get up in the morning.

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I would go to school.

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Nobody was making me get up.

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I would go, in, go to
school, come from school.

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I had gotten working papers or
permits to work, the school where

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I was going to, they hired me to
do janitorial work after school.

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So here, the stuff I used to write
on the walls, now I have to be clean.

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So I didn't like that.

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And I would tell my buddies, say,
don't be writing on the walls, man.

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don't be writing that
stuff about you and Linda.

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You love Linda.

00:12:03.529 --> 00:12:05.684
Linda loves you because
I gotta clean that up.

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So that's when they did it the most,
because they knew I had to clean it.

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So it was, uh, it was challenging.

00:12:11.864 --> 00:12:14.184
So, uh, I did that, for a long time.

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I worked, came from school.

00:12:15.824 --> 00:12:20.234
I would change my clothes and I would
go to work and I come outta work.

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I would take my shower and I
would sit down and do my homework.

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sometimes, I'd be up to midnight doing
my homework and to take to school.

00:12:29.844 --> 00:12:36.684
so I, my, my goal was to join
the Air Force and just disappear.

00:12:37.554 --> 00:12:39.114
I, I felt abandoned.

00:12:39.564 --> 00:12:40.374
By my mother.

00:12:40.374 --> 00:12:44.224
I felt, I was carrying a lot
of, a lot of grief, hatred,

00:12:44.314 --> 00:12:46.344
anger, bitterness, you name it.

00:12:47.464 --> 00:12:52.239
because of how my, because the time that
I lived with my stepfather, the treatment,

00:12:52.839 --> 00:12:58.129
how he treated me, my mother felt that she
was more on his side than on my side, that

00:12:58.129 --> 00:12:59.629
She chose him over me.

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So there was a lot inside of me.

00:13:02.499 --> 00:13:07.554
so I, a purpose to, I was gonna join
the Air Force and just disappear.

00:13:07.744 --> 00:13:11.734
I wasn't gonna look back, but then,
you can make all kind of plans,

00:13:11.734 --> 00:13:13.834
but doesn't mean they, they're
gonna turn out the way you want.

00:13:14.594 --> 00:13:16.604
as I was going out, I was doing good.

00:13:16.604 --> 00:13:19.844
I was keeping my nose out
of trouble, this and that.

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But along the way, a friend,
uh, introduced me to, drugs.

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Um.

00:13:27.704 --> 00:13:31.764
You know, I used to drink a beer,
as a young kid, kids do crazy stuff.

00:13:31.764 --> 00:13:34.114
Teenagers, drink a beer or
smoke a cigarette, whatever.

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But I had a friend who, was on
my back, come on, man, let's do

00:13:37.884 --> 00:13:41.364
this, man, just one time, And,
you're gonna see, how good it is.

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and, but he just kept on me, on my back.

00:13:44.894 --> 00:13:48.294
And one day I got so fed up, I figured
that, to get him off my back, I'm

00:13:48.294 --> 00:13:50.054
gonna go ahead and do this, one time.

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And by then he would leave me alone.

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And I was introduced to hard drugs.

00:13:55.394 --> 00:13:59.484
and that one time, cost
me 20 years of my life.

00:13:59.874 --> 00:14:02.964
Because for 20 years of my life,
I trying to find that first high.

00:14:04.164 --> 00:14:07.704
So I was in a constant
search and didn't realize it.

00:14:07.824 --> 00:14:11.304
And, as every day went by and I got deep.

00:14:11.724 --> 00:14:15.774
And more deep and deep into this,
drug thing without realizing it.

00:14:15.824 --> 00:14:17.954
and then after a while, you
start lying to yourself.

00:14:17.954 --> 00:14:19.484
You start saying that, I can quit.

00:14:19.544 --> 00:14:21.044
I can stop any time I want.

00:14:21.044 --> 00:14:22.094
It's like cigarettes.

00:14:22.314 --> 00:14:25.884
you smoke for so many years, and then,
people tell you, why don't you stop?

00:14:25.884 --> 00:14:29.224
And you tell the people, oh,
I, I can stop whenever I want.

00:14:29.294 --> 00:14:31.724
why don't you do it right then and
there and throw the secrets away?

00:14:32.054 --> 00:14:35.774
So I found myself, for 20
years dealing with this.

00:14:35.824 --> 00:14:37.024
I was self denial.

00:14:37.714 --> 00:14:41.314
in and out relationships, uh,
hurt more, hurt more pain.

00:14:41.974 --> 00:14:43.024
so a lot of things happened.

00:14:43.024 --> 00:14:47.429
Those 20 years, my life could have been
taken away because I have found myself

00:14:47.479 --> 00:14:51.784
in situations where I had guns pointed
at my face and I was so tired of living

00:14:51.834 --> 00:14:55.494
that I, the guy that was holding the
gun, I said, pull the trigger, man.

00:14:55.644 --> 00:14:58.584
And for some reason he didn't
have the gut, so it wasn't God's

00:14:58.584 --> 00:15:00.324
will that, that he would do that.

00:15:01.254 --> 00:15:03.424
And I was just, I didn't know my rope.

00:15:04.414 --> 00:15:10.394
And I was about 37 years old now
because I got, I got, involved

00:15:10.394 --> 00:15:12.044
with drugs when I was about six.

00:15:12.074 --> 00:15:16.959
in 1967 is when I first got
involved with the drug habit.

00:15:16.959 --> 00:15:20.919
That's when you know hippies and let's
make love and not war and all that

00:15:20.919 --> 00:15:22.809
kind of stuff, or, I was proud of that.

00:15:23.989 --> 00:15:31.589
anyway, trying to make a long story short,
in, in, 87, I was already with my wife now

00:15:31.799 --> 00:15:36.069
who's we have been together, for 45 years.

00:15:36.459 --> 00:15:37.449
Praise God for that.

00:15:38.179 --> 00:15:40.219
God has used her in a might powerful way.

00:15:40.624 --> 00:15:41.374
When we got together.

00:15:41.374 --> 00:15:42.574
She didn't know who I was.

00:15:43.234 --> 00:15:46.764
You know, you always put your best
foot forward, but then, when she

00:15:46.764 --> 00:15:51.014
realized who I was and what was
controlling my life, I guess she

00:15:51.014 --> 00:15:52.364
already had fallen in love with me.

00:15:52.364 --> 00:15:56.564
And it's, it was hard for her to,
walk away from the relationship.

00:15:57.614 --> 00:15:59.864
And I had my first son.

00:16:00.664 --> 00:16:03.304
and that made it even harder.

00:16:03.734 --> 00:16:06.164
even though people told her to leave me.

00:16:06.194 --> 00:16:08.684
'cause I wasn't gonna amount to
nothing, you know, I was going,

00:16:08.734 --> 00:16:11.554
But, she saw something in me
that I didn't see, in myself.

00:16:12.034 --> 00:16:16.134
But being in New Jersey, being,
living the kind of life I was living,

00:16:16.134 --> 00:16:18.054
my life was hanging by a threat.

00:16:18.864 --> 00:16:24.764
and, anyway, I used her to bring
me to Florida where I, came.

00:16:25.979 --> 00:16:29.219
It was like she's saying, she was
saying to me, this is your last chance.

00:16:29.319 --> 00:16:32.289
we have a family and you need
to change and you can keep

00:16:32.499 --> 00:16:33.819
going like the way you're going.

00:16:33.869 --> 00:16:38.809
So we came to a place called
Fort Myers and there, I started

00:16:38.809 --> 00:16:40.429
working as an electrician.

00:16:41.869 --> 00:16:43.549
I got hired as an electricians helper.

00:16:43.639 --> 00:16:45.379
'cause I didn't even know
how to change the light bulb.

00:16:46.369 --> 00:16:50.679
But it was a, this was guy
already working, in my life.

00:16:50.779 --> 00:16:54.469
I knew there was something inside of me,
but I didn't know there was a hunger.

00:16:54.469 --> 00:16:57.689
There was a thirst, there was
a emptiness, there was a void.

00:16:58.169 --> 00:17:01.049
And I trying to feel
that void with liquor.

00:17:01.049 --> 00:17:02.669
I trying to feel that void with drugs.

00:17:02.669 --> 00:17:04.669
I trying to feel that void
with the things of the world.

00:17:04.719 --> 00:17:08.679
I thought that partying and doing all
this stuff that you do, that was it.

00:17:08.679 --> 00:17:12.319
But I realized, the time came
when I realized that, really that

00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:18.729
was nothing, Anyway, when I was
in Fort Myers, I started working

00:17:18.729 --> 00:17:20.199
with, with an electrical company.

00:17:20.199 --> 00:17:23.584
they hired me as the electricians
helper, so they're willing

00:17:23.584 --> 00:17:24.784
to train me and all that.

00:17:25.594 --> 00:17:31.474
And got already had a plant where
he put me to work with a man.

00:17:31.694 --> 00:17:32.984
his name is Russ White.

00:17:33.224 --> 00:17:38.834
And I praise God for his life, his family,
because this guy, he, he was like my,

00:17:38.894 --> 00:17:41.934
my, my leader, my lead man, a foreman.

00:17:43.134 --> 00:17:45.114
And he invited me to church one, one day.

00:17:45.114 --> 00:17:49.679
I, after us working together, and
when he told me to, you know, when

00:17:49.684 --> 00:17:52.234
he asked me, I told him where to go.

00:17:52.624 --> 00:17:53.838
I said, I don't wanna hear about, church.

00:17:53.838 --> 00:17:56.798
I don't want hear about none of
that stuff, so don't you know, I

00:17:56.798 --> 00:18:00.248
will work with you side by side from
seven o'clock in the morning until.

00:18:00.743 --> 00:18:03.803
Because there were times that we
worked to 11 o'clock at night from

00:18:03.803 --> 00:18:06.053
seven o'clock, we worked 12, 13 hours.

00:18:07.343 --> 00:18:08.843
I said, I work with you, no problem.

00:18:08.843 --> 00:18:12.773
I do whatever you tell me to do, but
do not talk to me about religion.

00:18:13.313 --> 00:18:14.363
And he said, oh, I'm sorry.

00:18:14.363 --> 00:18:15.023
I apologize.

00:18:15.023 --> 00:18:16.073
I said, no, it's okay.

00:18:16.553 --> 00:18:20.093
But the guys working around me,
they came up to me and said,

00:18:20.093 --> 00:18:21.563
Carlos, don't talk to him like that.

00:18:21.993 --> 00:18:23.013
he's not like us.

00:18:23.553 --> 00:18:24.723
He's the real deal.

00:18:25.323 --> 00:18:27.363
So you need to show him some respect.

00:18:27.993 --> 00:18:28.743
I said, really?

00:18:29.373 --> 00:18:32.343
So that challenged me that,
that was like a homework for me.

00:18:32.343 --> 00:18:34.143
I'm gonna bust this guy,
I'm gonna show this.

00:18:34.143 --> 00:18:37.263
So you know, I'm gonna show this
guy that he's not working, you know?

00:18:38.073 --> 00:18:42.613
But to my amazement, we were
doing a high riser, in, by

00:18:42.613 --> 00:18:45.313
the beach in Naples, Florida.

00:18:46.453 --> 00:18:48.913
And we be working.

00:18:49.873 --> 00:18:55.693
And when you hear a lot of whistling,
that means there was a woman on the beach.

00:18:56.353 --> 00:19:00.283
So all the guys would run to
the balcony, Hey baby, hey.

00:19:00.283 --> 00:19:02.593
And this, some of those girls were crazy.

00:19:02.953 --> 00:19:07.783
They did some crazy junk, so we were
there whistling, hey, and instead

00:19:07.783 --> 00:19:10.553
of, of course I'm gonna be honest,
I would go look real quick, because

00:19:10.593 --> 00:19:11.448
I like to see what's going on.

00:19:11.568 --> 00:19:14.448
Then I would run back into the unit,
and when I say unit, I'm talking

00:19:14.448 --> 00:19:17.328
about apartments that we were
doing a million dollar apartments.

00:19:17.958 --> 00:19:20.988
I would run to look for him to
see where was, what was he doing?

00:19:21.408 --> 00:19:23.808
And to my amazement, he
would just stay working.

00:19:24.258 --> 00:19:28.428
He didn't run that day, you know, the
loss of the eye, you know, that is,

00:19:28.478 --> 00:19:30.488
and now that blew my mind, like man.

00:19:30.768 --> 00:19:32.478
because this man, I got to know him.

00:19:32.478 --> 00:19:33.918
He had a wife just like I did.

00:19:34.248 --> 00:19:36.168
He had two sons, just like I did.

00:19:36.168 --> 00:19:37.668
He had two daughters just like I did.

00:19:37.668 --> 00:19:39.798
So I knew that he was a straight shooter.

00:19:40.428 --> 00:19:41.178
I said, wow.

00:19:42.228 --> 00:19:42.378
Hmm.

00:19:42.918 --> 00:19:44.598
So that, that caught my attention.

00:19:45.318 --> 00:19:49.938
And okay, the guy, I saw that when
we were having conversations, that it

00:19:49.938 --> 00:19:53.338
were not so pretty, he would walk away.

00:19:53.338 --> 00:19:57.338
He didn't take part in the conversations
or the jokes that we were, sharing.

00:19:57.968 --> 00:19:59.828
And I, you know, I'm paying attention.

00:19:59.828 --> 00:20:00.878
I'm looking, I say, wow.

00:20:01.238 --> 00:20:04.478
And then every time we finish one of
those units, our boss would give us a

00:20:04.598 --> 00:20:09.773
big old party, so there was the whiskey,
the beer, the food and all that.

00:20:09.823 --> 00:20:10.843
That was another thing.

00:20:10.843 --> 00:20:14.293
I would grab my plate and I would start
looking for him, see where he's at.

00:20:14.653 --> 00:20:19.613
So he would be somewhere by himself with
his little plate, with drumstick, with

00:20:19.613 --> 00:20:25.693
some mashed potatoes called slaw and a
coat versus us, we had all kind of stuff.

00:20:26.203 --> 00:20:27.583
So that caught my attention.

00:20:28.213 --> 00:20:32.683
And then I think the thing that really,
really worked in me was that one night we

00:20:32.683 --> 00:20:38.023
worked till about 10 o'clock at night and
we came outta there out of the job site.

00:20:38.863 --> 00:20:41.763
And somebody had done something
that, that really bothered me.

00:20:41.763 --> 00:20:45.663
They had taken a trash can full
of trash and emptied on his seat.

00:20:47.193 --> 00:20:50.223
And when we came outta there,
I was tired, I was hungry.

00:20:50.223 --> 00:20:51.243
I wanted to go home.

00:20:51.753 --> 00:20:55.083
And we opened the van and all this
trash and we knew who'd done it.

00:20:56.323 --> 00:21:00.793
and you gotta understand, Russ is
about, he looks like a linebacker.

00:21:01.743 --> 00:21:02.283
big guy.

00:21:03.813 --> 00:21:06.243
200 and something about six something.

00:21:06.723 --> 00:21:11.373
And I looked at him and I said, Russ,
what are you gonna do about this?

00:21:12.483 --> 00:21:15.183
And well, he said, uh,
don't worry about it.

00:21:15.543 --> 00:21:16.653
God's gonna take care of it.

00:21:17.973 --> 00:21:21.483
I looked at him, I said, God, I'm not
God, but I'm gonna take care of it.

00:21:22.233 --> 00:21:26.103
So I was ready to go in there
and have it out with this guy.

00:21:27.423 --> 00:21:32.663
And the way he reacted to that, it just
blew my mind, that I said, man, this

00:21:32.663 --> 00:21:36.323
guy has such peace, such self-control.

00:21:37.163 --> 00:21:38.063
I want some of that.

00:21:39.438 --> 00:21:43.638
And of course, he used to talk to me,
but he really didn't try to push any kind

00:21:43.638 --> 00:21:46.098
of religion or anything like that on me.

00:21:46.108 --> 00:21:49.018
he didn't try to drown me with,
oh God, if you don't accept

00:21:49.018 --> 00:21:50.248
God, you're gonna go to hell.

00:21:50.248 --> 00:21:51.268
And he never did that.

00:21:51.808 --> 00:21:55.858
So that took me to a place where
one day we were working and out

00:21:55.858 --> 00:21:57.328
of the blues, I said, Hey Russ.

00:21:57.673 --> 00:21:58.423
I wanna talk to you.

00:21:58.423 --> 00:21:59.683
And he asked, and he said, what?

00:21:59.983 --> 00:22:02.413
I said, first of all, I
wanna apologize to you.

00:22:02.983 --> 00:22:03.703
And he said, for what?

00:22:03.913 --> 00:22:07.993
So I said, the first time you invited me
to church, you, I answered you in a very

00:22:08.293 --> 00:22:10.093
bad way, so I wanna apologize for that.

00:22:10.093 --> 00:22:14.783
So he said, don't worry about that, Then
I said, does that invitation still stands?

00:22:15.473 --> 00:22:16.973
And he said, of course.

00:22:17.023 --> 00:22:20.653
as a matter of fact, we having
a revival in our church.

00:22:21.553 --> 00:22:23.733
And I said, first of all, I
didn't know what a revival was.

00:22:23.763 --> 00:22:24.423
That's number one.

00:22:24.693 --> 00:22:27.993
Number two, I said, yeah,
I'll go, come and pick me up.

00:22:27.993 --> 00:22:29.373
Because I just wanted
to get outta the house.

00:22:29.373 --> 00:22:32.273
I was bored, I was new in, in Fort Myers.

00:22:32.273 --> 00:22:34.223
I didn't know my way around.

00:22:34.793 --> 00:22:36.263
I was starting from scratch.

00:22:36.293 --> 00:22:38.723
we have been through a lot.

00:22:38.813 --> 00:22:42.533
When I came from Jersey over
here, I had three kids and a

00:22:42.533 --> 00:22:43.613
hundred dollars in my pocket.

00:22:45.293 --> 00:22:46.133
That's how we started.

00:22:46.793 --> 00:22:48.513
And, he said, sure, I'll pick you up.

00:22:49.233 --> 00:22:53.393
So we, he came by the house, that
evening and picked me up, took me

00:22:53.393 --> 00:22:59.353
to the church, and there, the first
thing that I think impacted in my life

00:22:59.353 --> 00:23:02.023
was the person that was at the door.

00:23:02.803 --> 00:23:08.653
And, you know, everything in the ministry,
it is a ministry, even the person that's

00:23:08.653 --> 00:23:14.683
at the door, because that person, first
of all, God put Russ in my life to, to

00:23:14.683 --> 00:23:21.213
show me that there are people that you
know, that you can look at them and see

00:23:21.783 --> 00:23:25.803
the presence, and you can see the power
of God here on this earth because people

00:23:25.803 --> 00:23:28.683
are looking for signs they wanna see,
you know, they want to feel, be able to

00:23:28.683 --> 00:23:33.628
touch or see with their eyes, you know,
God's presence or whatever, because

00:23:33.898 --> 00:23:35.518
they're looking for signs in miracles.

00:23:35.518 --> 00:23:37.078
I guess that's the word I can use.

00:23:38.158 --> 00:23:43.308
So first God puts Russ in my, in
my life so I can go to church.

00:23:43.308 --> 00:23:46.968
And the reason why I didn't, I
had not gone to church before.

00:23:47.028 --> 00:23:50.148
Well, I had visited churches,
but, you know, just, just for

00:23:50.148 --> 00:23:51.678
the heck of it, let's be honest.

00:23:51.918 --> 00:23:56.168
I would go to church, like for Mother's
Day, I would go, even though my mom and

00:23:56.168 --> 00:24:02.173
me were not, you know, uh, anyway, I
would go see her Mother's day and then

00:24:02.173 --> 00:24:05.383
of course I would go to church with her
'cause she has always been in church,

00:24:06.083 --> 00:24:08.123
or for funerals, things like that.

00:24:08.123 --> 00:24:12.603
But, and the services that I went
to, I never paid no attention

00:24:12.873 --> 00:24:14.283
and I never heard anything.

00:24:14.733 --> 00:24:19.803
And the reason for that is because the
people that had invited me to church

00:24:19.833 --> 00:24:24.153
before Russ was people that were doing
the same things that I was doing.

00:24:25.683 --> 00:24:27.963
So how can you invite me to church?

00:24:29.163 --> 00:24:32.733
And you are sitting at the bar
with me with a beer in your hands

00:24:32.733 --> 00:24:33.603
and a drink in front of you.

00:24:34.623 --> 00:24:38.073
How can you tell me, Hey, why don't
you come to church with me tomorrow?

00:24:38.703 --> 00:24:41.493
And when you leave the bar,
instead of going home to your wife,

00:24:41.493 --> 00:24:44.003
you're going to go see your honey.

00:24:44.138 --> 00:24:48.523
You know that you have, So these are the
people that used to invite me to church.

00:24:48.523 --> 00:24:50.563
So of course I like,
I don't need your guy.

00:24:51.823 --> 00:24:52.453
I don't need your God.

00:24:52.453 --> 00:24:54.683
Why would I wanna, go to church?

00:24:55.283 --> 00:24:56.423
But this man is different.

00:24:56.423 --> 00:25:00.933
This man has shown me that man, there's
something real and truth, there's

00:25:00.933 --> 00:25:02.943
some truth about the things of God.

00:25:02.993 --> 00:25:07.113
so that's the first thing that
got put in my in, in front of me.

00:25:07.323 --> 00:25:10.853
The second thing was when I went
to the church, the lady Ruth Ann,

00:25:11.033 --> 00:25:12.233
never gonna forget that lady.

00:25:13.703 --> 00:25:16.313
She welcomed me in such a
way that I felt that love.

00:25:16.838 --> 00:25:18.818
It wasn't something,
this is what I gotta do.

00:25:19.088 --> 00:25:20.468
Hey brother, how are you?

00:25:20.468 --> 00:25:21.278
Good to see you.

00:25:21.278 --> 00:25:22.328
Welcome to our church.

00:25:22.378 --> 00:25:24.478
Now this lady grabbed me and
she hugged me and she said,

00:25:24.478 --> 00:25:25.768
man, it's so good to see you.

00:25:26.188 --> 00:25:28.138
Never seen me in my life.

00:25:29.218 --> 00:25:30.208
And I felt that love.

00:25:30.208 --> 00:25:31.138
I felt that connection.

00:25:31.318 --> 00:25:34.468
And in my mind I said, does
this woman know who she hugging?

00:25:35.698 --> 00:25:36.718
This woman crazy.

00:25:36.928 --> 00:25:39.678
She don't know me, but
that, that touch him.

00:25:40.138 --> 00:25:43.678
and of course, I went in and I sat
all the, in the back, like always,

00:25:43.728 --> 00:25:47.738
And, I just stood looking around,
scoping the place, scoping the people

00:25:47.738 --> 00:25:48.998
that were coming into that church.

00:25:50.558 --> 00:25:53.818
And, the service started and
they had a pastor that, that was

00:25:53.818 --> 00:25:59.298
visiting and this pastor preached
about, how much God, cares for us.

00:26:00.078 --> 00:26:03.498
And then for the first time, I can say
I was, 37 years old and I heard the

00:26:03.498 --> 00:26:04.938
gospel for the first time in my life.

00:26:05.988 --> 00:26:10.683
He called my attention, woke up
something in me and I was like, wow.

00:26:10.743 --> 00:26:13.533
And I never heard this before
and I never heard this before.

00:26:14.193 --> 00:26:17.913
So I went to work the next day
and all day long I was asking Russ

00:26:18.243 --> 00:26:20.733
questions about this and about that.

00:26:21.093 --> 00:26:24.753
And he had the answers
now his own answers.

00:26:24.753 --> 00:26:27.543
But because he had read the
Bible, he had studied the Bible.

00:26:27.933 --> 00:26:32.433
So he gave me not his own opinion,
but what was in the Bible, even

00:26:32.433 --> 00:26:35.533
though I didn't understand, when you
said to me, when he said to me about

00:26:35.533 --> 00:26:40.573
Matthew or John or Luke or Mark or
whatever, I'm like, who are those guys?

00:26:40.623 --> 00:26:42.333
I didn't know nothing.

00:26:42.903 --> 00:26:47.663
So anyway, this, all day long I
was asking him questions and then I

00:26:47.663 --> 00:26:49.283
asked him, is this thing going on?

00:26:49.583 --> 00:26:50.243
tonight again?

00:26:50.243 --> 00:26:52.193
He said, yeah, it's
gonna be a three nighter.

00:26:52.283 --> 00:26:53.953
I said, oh man, come and pick me up.

00:26:54.733 --> 00:26:55.723
So I went the second night.

00:26:56.503 --> 00:26:58.663
The second night I was not a happy camper.

00:26:59.773 --> 00:27:03.733
Because the second night, this man,
I mean, he was like, the only thing

00:27:03.733 --> 00:27:05.923
missing in his message was my name.

00:27:06.973 --> 00:27:07.393
My name.

00:27:07.813 --> 00:27:08.623
I was the only thing missing.

00:27:08.923 --> 00:27:09.043
Mm-hmm.

00:27:10.093 --> 00:27:13.123
That man shared.

00:27:13.123 --> 00:27:17.353
He talked like he knew my life inside out.

00:27:17.893 --> 00:27:26.293
He talked about my anger, my bitterness,
my pain, my suffering, my loneliness.

00:27:26.393 --> 00:27:28.913
I was like, what the heck?

00:27:29.513 --> 00:27:29.963
You know?

00:27:30.593 --> 00:27:33.053
And I just, I just came outta there.

00:27:33.053 --> 00:27:34.643
I was so confused.

00:27:34.643 --> 00:27:37.513
I was Conviction regrets.

00:27:37.603 --> 00:27:37.993
I don't know.

00:27:37.993 --> 00:27:40.798
it was a crazy night for me that night.

00:27:41.098 --> 00:27:42.478
It was so crazy that I went home.

00:27:42.868 --> 00:27:43.588
When I got home.

00:27:44.158 --> 00:27:48.178
I hate to admit it, I grabbed my wife
by, by, by her shoulders, and I shook

00:27:48.178 --> 00:27:52.948
her and I said, why in the world who told
you to call that church and tell 'em our

00:27:52.948 --> 00:27:55.438
personal business, our personal life?

00:27:56.158 --> 00:27:57.838
And my wife, she's strong spirit.

00:27:57.838 --> 00:28:01.948
She looked at me and said, first of,
I don't believe you was in church.

00:28:02.038 --> 00:28:02.788
That's number one.

00:28:03.868 --> 00:28:08.098
Secondly, I don't know, I don't have no
idea what you're talking about, so you

00:28:08.098 --> 00:28:09.563
better get your answer for me before.

00:28:10.288 --> 00:28:12.408
And, so I'm like, now I'm confused.

00:28:12.408 --> 00:28:13.308
I'm really messed up.

00:28:13.968 --> 00:28:20.378
So I go back to work the next
day and I'm really asking Russ

00:28:20.408 --> 00:28:22.118
questions, but I'm rough this time.

00:28:22.118 --> 00:28:23.758
Like, why did the pastor say that?

00:28:24.058 --> 00:28:25.993
Why did this pastor say
that, why he said this?

00:28:26.218 --> 00:28:26.998
And then the other.

00:28:27.343 --> 00:28:30.593
And he said, well, Carlos, you gotta
understand, God speaks through people,

00:28:31.433 --> 00:28:35.713
so God, whatever, whatever he says,
because that was God talking to you.

00:28:37.003 --> 00:28:40.423
And I'm like, because a lot of the
things that he said, only I knew them.

00:28:42.823 --> 00:28:44.173
This man had never seen me.

00:28:44.173 --> 00:28:45.223
I don't know this man.

00:28:45.223 --> 00:28:51.423
And we don't know each other, So I, I
was mad, I was angry, I was hurt, but

00:28:51.663 --> 00:28:53.463
there was a lot of truth in what he said.

00:28:54.123 --> 00:28:58.333
So I asked him again, and this thing
going on tonight now, And he said,

00:28:58.333 --> 00:28:59.473
yeah, tonight's the last night.

00:28:59.653 --> 00:29:01.183
So I said, come and pick me up, man.

00:29:01.183 --> 00:29:01.693
I wanna go.

00:29:02.293 --> 00:29:03.853
So this was in 87.

00:29:05.353 --> 00:29:10.323
So he picked me up and I went, and
man, he preached about the love

00:29:10.323 --> 00:29:15.753
of God for Gospel of the world,
that he gave his only grandson.

00:29:16.293 --> 00:29:18.303
Man, that, that hit me so hard.

00:29:19.503 --> 00:29:23.793
And the way he broke it down, you
know how God wants to heal you.

00:29:23.793 --> 00:29:25.293
He wants to forgive.

00:29:25.293 --> 00:29:27.213
First of all, God wants
to forgive your sins.

00:29:28.113 --> 00:29:29.763
He wants to transform your life.

00:29:29.763 --> 00:29:34.273
He wants to bring healing, mentally,
physically, spiritually, emotion.

00:29:34.273 --> 00:29:37.963
You know, I mean, it was like
everything that I needed was

00:29:37.963 --> 00:29:38.953
right there in the package.

00:29:39.043 --> 00:29:40.613
And, I'm like, wow.

00:29:40.613 --> 00:29:44.063
You know, so I, I wasn't
used to all this stuff.

00:29:44.123 --> 00:29:45.683
I wasn't familiar with all of this stuff.

00:29:46.453 --> 00:29:48.508
I used, I, every night.

00:29:48.968 --> 00:29:54.328
those, he would, after he finished
his, message, he would make

00:29:54.328 --> 00:29:56.758
the altar call, which I didn't
understand what that was all about.

00:29:57.118 --> 00:30:04.558
And I used to see, he would say, those
who, need to come to the altar do so those

00:30:04.708 --> 00:30:07.828
who need to go home, please leave quietly.

00:30:07.828 --> 00:30:09.028
And those who want to help.

00:30:09.958 --> 00:30:13.028
To pray over the ones that
come to the altar, please come.

00:30:13.898 --> 00:30:16.148
And I would see the crowd, see
all kind of people go up there.

00:30:16.148 --> 00:30:19.638
I used to, hear people crying
and all that, I'd be watching.

00:30:19.638 --> 00:30:25.608
I'm like, So that last night that he did
that, I was in the back, and I'm wrestling

00:30:25.608 --> 00:30:27.468
now with three nights of this man.

00:30:27.768 --> 00:30:28.878
what he had shared with us.

00:30:29.748 --> 00:30:36.468
And so I'm standing looking, everybody's
got their heads down, their eyes closed.

00:30:37.158 --> 00:30:38.478
He made the call.

00:30:38.628 --> 00:30:39.558
People, boom.

00:30:39.558 --> 00:30:40.488
Went to the front.

00:30:41.508 --> 00:30:46.608
He's up there on the altar
and I'm wrestling with myself.

00:30:47.358 --> 00:30:49.068
It was like I had two people inside of me.

00:30:50.988 --> 00:30:54.978
One person was telling me, go,

00:30:56.988 --> 00:30:59.958
the other one was telling
me, that's not for you, man.

00:31:01.143 --> 00:31:01.863
That's not for you.

00:31:02.463 --> 00:31:03.273
You're strong.

00:31:03.813 --> 00:31:04.803
You're not like those weak.

00:31:05.043 --> 00:31:06.273
Look at those people crying.

00:31:07.563 --> 00:31:08.763
They should be embarrassed.

00:31:10.413 --> 00:31:14.718
And the other boys would tell me, what
was, how, when your father, when your

00:31:14.718 --> 00:31:17.088
stepfather was abusing you, where was God?

00:31:17.808 --> 00:31:18.828
Where was God when?

00:31:18.918 --> 00:31:21.588
When your mother chose
your stepfather over you?

00:31:22.128 --> 00:31:25.478
Where was God when you know your
father was drunk somewhere and you

00:31:25.478 --> 00:31:26.918
were somewhere, he didn't know.

00:31:27.103 --> 00:31:28.573
Had no earth idea where you were.

00:31:28.813 --> 00:31:31.093
Where was God when you walk in
the streets of Canada, New Jersey

00:31:31.093 --> 00:31:32.143
at three o'clock in the morning?

00:31:32.473 --> 00:31:34.433
No place to, where was
God when you asked him?

00:31:34.613 --> 00:31:37.643
'cause I remember one time that I was
walking, I don't know, two, three o'clock

00:31:37.643 --> 00:31:39.203
in the morning, I was so devastated.

00:31:39.203 --> 00:31:41.963
I look up to the heavens and I
say, God, why you hate me so much?

00:31:42.143 --> 00:31:42.803
You hate me so much.

00:31:42.803 --> 00:31:44.513
Why don't you just kill me, destroy me.

00:31:44.873 --> 00:31:45.503
Get it over with.

00:31:47.423 --> 00:31:50.873
But see, but we don't know the purposes of
God that plans that God has for our lives.

00:31:52.118 --> 00:31:56.528
So, you know, all the stuff was coming,
you know, I mean, the list had no ending.

00:31:57.698 --> 00:31:59.348
and I did say, God, where were you?

00:31:59.738 --> 00:32:00.428
Where were you dad?

00:32:01.568 --> 00:32:04.688
And the other voice inside
of me was like, just go.

00:32:05.108 --> 00:32:05.528
Just go.

00:32:07.058 --> 00:32:10.718
And then I see the pastor, he
came down from the altar and

00:32:10.868 --> 00:32:12.128
he started praying for people.

00:32:13.208 --> 00:32:15.908
And while I'm there, you
know, I'm looking, I got one

00:32:15.908 --> 00:32:17.738
eye closed and one eye open.

00:32:17.738 --> 00:32:19.268
And I'm watching through the crowd.

00:32:20.048 --> 00:32:24.128
And I said, God, if it's true, if it's
true, if it's true what this man preach

00:32:24.158 --> 00:32:28.663
about your love, about your healing,
about transformation, redemption, if

00:32:28.668 --> 00:32:32.978
all that stuff that this man mentioned
is true, let this man make an alter

00:32:32.978 --> 00:32:34.748
call and I will give you my life.

00:32:35.738 --> 00:32:38.500
And I said that because I knew it
wasn't gonna happen, and I, and I,

00:32:38.543 --> 00:32:43.548
in, in my own inside of me, I said,
well, I guess I have been a loser of my

00:32:43.548 --> 00:32:45.168
life and I will continue to be a lose.

00:32:46.338 --> 00:32:47.575
That's what the devil put in, in, in me.

00:32:47.598 --> 00:32:47.748
Mm-hmm.

00:32:48.318 --> 00:32:49.098
You're elusive buddy.

00:32:49.098 --> 00:32:50.268
And you always gonna be elusive.

00:32:51.258 --> 00:32:52.598
'cause that's like a curse.

00:32:53.348 --> 00:32:56.858
Because I remember one of my, one
of my grandfathers say, you are

00:32:56.858 --> 00:32:57.998
never gonna amount to nothing.

00:32:58.928 --> 00:33:00.188
You're gonna be just like your father.

00:33:00.938 --> 00:33:02.858
Your father said drunk, you're
gonna be worse than here.

00:33:05.228 --> 00:33:09.308
So all those things, it is amazing how
your mind can work and it's act, it's not

00:33:09.308 --> 00:33:13.148
actually your mind is, you know, the Bible
says that we worship against not flesh

00:33:13.148 --> 00:33:15.068
and blood, but against principalities.

00:33:15.068 --> 00:33:15.608
You know what I mean?

00:33:15.608 --> 00:33:19.258
So here, all this stuff is coming at
one time, So I'm saying, I guess I've

00:33:19.258 --> 00:33:22.438
been a loser of my life because of the
life that I had lived up to this moment.

00:33:22.438 --> 00:33:26.058
So I imagine I'm gonna continue to
be a loser and, but I say, God, if

00:33:26.058 --> 00:33:30.258
it's true, let this man make an altar
call and I will give you my life.

00:33:31.128 --> 00:33:33.848
So to my amazement, I'm
looking, I'm watching.

00:33:34.778 --> 00:33:36.398
This man is spraying over somebody.

00:33:36.608 --> 00:33:43.208
He has his hands over this person's
head and he stops and he looks up like

00:33:43.208 --> 00:33:45.218
he's listening to a voice or something.

00:33:45.308 --> 00:33:47.258
And I'm looking, I'm
saying to myself, no way.

00:33:47.618 --> 00:33:49.748
There's no way this could be happening.

00:33:50.558 --> 00:33:54.518
And this man, hesitated for about, I
don't know, minute, a couple minutes.

00:33:54.998 --> 00:34:00.188
Then he gets back up from his knees,
gets back in the altar, he gets behind

00:34:00.188 --> 00:34:02.048
that pule and he hits real hard.

00:34:02.588 --> 00:34:03.068
Bam.

00:34:03.458 --> 00:34:07.148
Everybody say, went up
and he said, loud voice.

00:34:07.148 --> 00:34:11.948
He said, the Holy Spirit had just
shown me that there's one more

00:34:11.948 --> 00:34:16.538
person here that needs to come to
the front and you know who you are.

00:34:16.958 --> 00:34:20.918
That's all he said, man, Jesse,
I'm gonna tell you something.

00:34:21.388 --> 00:34:24.633
Normally, if I'm gonna go by you and
you on my way, I will say, excuse me.

00:34:24.633 --> 00:34:26.793
Pardon me, man.

00:34:27.093 --> 00:34:31.233
I walk away people, I mean,
I push people out of my way.

00:34:31.413 --> 00:34:32.433
I didn't say, excuse me.

00:34:32.433 --> 00:34:32.853
Pardon me.

00:34:32.853 --> 00:34:33.183
I just.

00:34:33.528 --> 00:34:36.588
I just came outta my seat, ran
to the front of the altar and he

00:34:36.588 --> 00:34:40.128
was standing there and he looked
at me and he said, you the one?

00:34:40.488 --> 00:34:41.448
I said, yes, sir.

00:34:41.868 --> 00:34:43.308
He said, well, talk to Jesus.

00:34:44.028 --> 00:34:44.778
That's what he told me.

00:34:44.778 --> 00:34:45.498
Talk to Jesus.

00:34:46.548 --> 00:34:49.008
And he went back about his
business, what he was doing.

00:34:49.338 --> 00:34:53.748
I dropped to my knees, and I'm
gonna tell you, I seen my life.

00:34:54.078 --> 00:34:59.538
I seen all my hurt, my pain, anger,
my bitterness, I mean everything.

00:35:00.888 --> 00:35:03.438
And I don't think I ever had cried.

00:35:03.438 --> 00:35:07.938
Like I cried that, that night,
that was November 22nd, 1987.

00:35:08.748 --> 00:35:12.138
It was like this big load
sticking off my shoulders.

00:35:12.978 --> 00:35:18.708
And when I finished asking God to
forgive me to then I said to God,

00:35:18.708 --> 00:35:20.688
I said, God, I don't know if you
can use somebody like me, but I.

00:35:21.318 --> 00:35:21.888
Here am I?

00:35:22.098 --> 00:35:23.388
That's what I say to God, here am I.

00:35:24.378 --> 00:35:27.528
And when I got out from there,
people came and hugged me and

00:35:27.528 --> 00:35:29.568
they, oh, you have been born again.

00:35:29.568 --> 00:35:31.938
I had no idea what that meant, you know?

00:35:32.058 --> 00:35:32.568
No idea.

00:35:33.588 --> 00:35:40.038
But anyway, after that, it was
a process from 87 to 89, I,

00:35:40.038 --> 00:35:41.268
got involved in the church.

00:35:41.548 --> 00:35:45.648
I was confused because I started
reading out, here one day.

00:35:46.398 --> 00:35:51.758
I gave my life to Christ, the week before
I was the one in, in, in, at my job

00:35:51.818 --> 00:35:53.198
that, hey, better be careful with that.

00:35:53.198 --> 00:35:54.128
Crazy Puerto Rican.

00:35:54.488 --> 00:35:56.948
I was the one drinking, I was
the one cussing, I was the

00:35:56.948 --> 00:35:58.258
one that, don't mess with me.

00:35:58.288 --> 00:36:00.818
'cause you're gonna get in the
world trouble, And, it was crazy.

00:36:00.818 --> 00:36:02.918
Now I gotta go back and say I'm safe.

00:36:03.968 --> 00:36:05.618
So my buddies, it was hard.

00:36:05.648 --> 00:36:06.338
It was rough.

00:36:06.368 --> 00:36:07.898
It was, it was a process.

00:36:08.363 --> 00:36:12.163
It was a process because my buddies
there were making fun of me, oh,

00:36:12.163 --> 00:36:13.393
so you're not gonna smoke no more.

00:36:13.393 --> 00:36:14.323
You're not gonna drink no more.

00:36:14.323 --> 00:36:15.703
I said, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

00:36:16.193 --> 00:36:16.703
I don't know.

00:36:17.103 --> 00:36:21.303
and, so they used to make bits to
see how long this was gonna last.

00:36:21.903 --> 00:36:25.693
I had a little pocket Bible, so I'm
trying to read, because, trying to learn.

00:36:25.993 --> 00:36:29.323
So I would read Matthew and then
I go to Mark and I would get all

00:36:29.323 --> 00:36:33.073
confused why I'm reading the same
thing that's in, in Matthew, mark.

00:36:33.523 --> 00:36:36.553
Then I would read Luke and
like, what is going on here?

00:36:36.553 --> 00:36:38.263
Why did they keep repeating this stuff?

00:36:38.263 --> 00:36:41.413
And then I go to John and I
mean, I was messed up 'cause

00:36:41.413 --> 00:36:42.463
I was on my own, you know?

00:36:44.212 --> 00:36:48.947
And then eventually got put somebody in
my life that started guiding me, through

00:36:48.947 --> 00:36:51.267
the Bible, helping me to understand.

00:36:52.227 --> 00:36:54.927
But for two years, it was a process.

00:36:55.967 --> 00:36:56.417
and.

00:36:56.927 --> 00:37:03.717
The best way I can put it is you can
go to retreats because people do go to

00:37:03.717 --> 00:37:07.977
retreats for spiritual retreats, but
it's not until you have an encounter,

00:37:08.517 --> 00:37:13.437
a personal encounter with Jesus that
really would transform your life.

00:37:14.187 --> 00:37:21.372
Because from 87 to 89, I, I did
what I could in my own strength

00:37:21.612 --> 00:37:24.162
to please God, but I always fell.

00:37:24.942 --> 00:37:25.692
You know what I mean?

00:37:25.692 --> 00:37:29.556
I, I was still, during the week, I
was sneak and I'm not saying that

00:37:31.176 --> 00:37:33.531
everything is a personal conviction.

00:37:33.591 --> 00:37:37.026
If you are there and you smoking
or drinking or whatever, everything

00:37:37.026 --> 00:37:38.106
is a personal conviction.

00:37:39.646 --> 00:37:41.146
it's what God puts in your heart.

00:37:41.396 --> 00:37:42.656
I used to smoke.

00:37:42.656 --> 00:37:44.756
I used to drink, I used to do drugs.

00:37:44.756 --> 00:37:46.676
I used to do just about
everything there is.

00:37:46.676 --> 00:37:46.736
I.

00:37:48.266 --> 00:37:53.521
And I separated myself from that because,
not because my pastor, not because of the

00:37:53.731 --> 00:37:55.591
church and because of the Holy Spirit.

00:37:55.621 --> 00:37:56.071
Mm-hmm.

00:37:56.311 --> 00:37:57.421
He brought healing to me.

00:37:58.861 --> 00:38:04.711
He, you know, he just gave
me, removed that, those

00:38:04.711 --> 00:38:06.361
desires, let's put it that way.

00:38:07.091 --> 00:38:08.081
I don't judge nobody.

00:38:08.081 --> 00:38:11.831
I don't condemn nobody for whatever
they do, because that's a personal

00:38:11.831 --> 00:38:13.211
thing between you and the Lord.

00:38:14.201 --> 00:38:16.941
So, from 87 to 89.

00:38:17.391 --> 00:38:17.751
Okay?

00:38:17.751 --> 00:38:24.141
So during the week, I would get a week
and I went and bought a beer first.

00:38:24.141 --> 00:38:27.021
All I knew I shouldn't do it
because I wanted to serve God.

00:38:27.021 --> 00:38:29.091
I didn't wanna be a bench warmer.

00:38:29.091 --> 00:38:31.971
I don't wanna, I didn't wanna be like,
I used to call people a hypocrite.

00:38:32.001 --> 00:38:33.051
I wanted to be the real thing I.

00:38:33.366 --> 00:38:34.066
You know what I'm saying?

00:38:34.066 --> 00:38:34.346
Yeah.

00:38:34.566 --> 00:38:37.236
I used to judge people and
say, oh, people are hypocrites.

00:38:37.386 --> 00:38:39.636
they go to church, but look,
they smoke and oh, they go to

00:38:39.636 --> 00:38:40.566
church and they're drinking.

00:38:40.816 --> 00:38:43.516
here I found myself in
their, in, in their place.

00:38:44.026 --> 00:38:47.536
So I would go get outta work, four or
five o'clock in the afternoon drive.

00:38:47.836 --> 00:38:50.506
It was a hour drive from
the job to my house.

00:38:50.506 --> 00:38:54.646
So I would see a seven 11 or a Circle K,
and I'm like, I'm gonna go get a Gatorade.

00:38:55.426 --> 00:38:56.296
Go in there.

00:38:57.496 --> 00:38:59.536
They put the getaway next to the beer.

00:39:00.286 --> 00:39:04.306
So I look, I stand there, I look at
the Gatorade, I look at the beer,

00:39:04.786 --> 00:39:06.406
I look at the 16 ounce can of bull.

00:39:07.096 --> 00:39:08.146
I look at the getaway.

00:39:08.146 --> 00:39:12.556
Then I look around to see anybody
in there knew me, or I knew anybody.

00:39:12.931 --> 00:39:17.441
So I would grab that 16 ounce can of
Budweiser, and I walk to the ca, and

00:39:17.441 --> 00:39:22.501
I'd be like, if I was carrying 10 pounds
of heroin or cocaine, go to the cash

00:39:22.501 --> 00:39:26.341
register and listen, put this in the
bag and, and pay for it and take it.

00:39:26.701 --> 00:39:31.621
And I, I would go way outta my way in
the woods, and I would drink that beer.

00:39:32.611 --> 00:39:35.281
And it felt so good because
it was hot, you know?

00:39:35.731 --> 00:39:39.481
But as soon as I finished drinking that
beer man conviction would come over me.

00:39:39.481 --> 00:39:45.271
And I start crying and crying and crying
and crying and asking God for forgiveness.

00:39:45.271 --> 00:39:46.771
And God, why don't you destroy me?

00:39:46.771 --> 00:39:48.271
Why don't you just get rid of me?

00:39:48.491 --> 00:39:49.421
I'm worthless.

00:39:49.421 --> 00:39:50.261
I'm useless.

00:39:50.311 --> 00:39:51.841
it was a constant battle.

00:39:52.501 --> 00:39:54.741
And, Then I buy some gum, and go home.

00:39:54.741 --> 00:39:57.681
And I walk through the door and my
wife would see me chewing gum and she

00:39:57.681 --> 00:39:58.791
said, you've been drinking again, huh?

00:39:59.121 --> 00:40:02.001
And then I would go off on
why I can't chew gum now.

00:40:02.871 --> 00:40:04.491
Who you think you're the Holy Spirit?

00:40:04.641 --> 00:40:05.811
Because it was a conviction.

00:40:05.991 --> 00:40:09.156
But let me see, let me show you
what I mean by what I just said.

00:40:09.606 --> 00:40:10.956
I'm read something, if you don't mind.

00:40:11.196 --> 00:40:11.616
Yeah, go ahead.

00:40:11.616 --> 00:40:12.246
Real quick.

00:40:12.696 --> 00:40:16.546
Because a lot of us, a lot of us,
and I'm talking about, you know,

00:40:16.546 --> 00:40:20.466
Christians that, that have been
serving God for a long, long time,

00:40:20.856 --> 00:40:22.566
they find themselves struggling.

00:40:23.206 --> 00:40:27.846
and let's be honest, there's things
that still the enemy uses against

00:40:27.846 --> 00:40:30.006
us sometimes it is not big things.

00:40:30.186 --> 00:40:33.996
I thought that by being delivered
from the booze and the drugs and all

00:40:33.996 --> 00:40:36.076
that was, that was gonna set me free.

00:40:36.076 --> 00:40:37.456
But sometimes the little things.

00:40:38.026 --> 00:40:40.456
You know that, that keep us in bondage.

00:40:41.116 --> 00:40:42.046
And look what Paul said.

00:40:42.046 --> 00:40:43.006
That's why I love Paul.

00:40:43.036 --> 00:40:46.171
This is the, I'm gonna read this out
of the living Bible now, He says,

00:40:46.441 --> 00:40:48.421
I don't understand myself at all.

00:40:48.511 --> 00:40:49.621
This is Paul's talking.

00:40:50.611 --> 00:40:53.401
I really want to do what is right.

00:40:53.521 --> 00:40:54.241
That was me.

00:40:54.391 --> 00:40:58.831
You know, I come outta work,
you know, but I cannot do what

00:40:58.831 --> 00:41:01.471
I don't want to do, what I hate.

00:41:02.011 --> 00:41:08.461
I know perfectly well that what I am
doing is wrong, and my bad conscious

00:41:08.461 --> 00:41:13.921
proves that I agree with this law I
am breaking, but I cannot help myself

00:41:13.921 --> 00:41:15.871
because I am no longer doing it.

00:41:16.321 --> 00:41:19.651
It is sin inside me that
it is stronger than I am.

00:41:19.921 --> 00:41:21.841
That makes me do these things.

00:41:21.871 --> 00:41:24.691
I know I am rotten through and through.

00:41:24.811 --> 00:41:30.361
So, so far as my all sinful nature
is concerned, no matter which way I

00:41:30.361 --> 00:41:32.611
turn, I cannot make myself do right.

00:41:32.866 --> 00:41:34.066
I want to, but I can't.

00:41:34.456 --> 00:41:35.656
And I want to do good.

00:41:35.896 --> 00:41:40.146
I don't, and when I try not
to do wrong, I do it anyway.

00:41:40.446 --> 00:41:45.786
Now, if I am doing what I'm, I
don't wanna do it is playing.

00:41:45.786 --> 00:41:51.216
Where the trouble is, sin
still has me in is evil grasp.

00:41:51.606 --> 00:41:52.866
That was me for two years.

00:41:52.956 --> 00:41:53.046
Mm-hmm.

00:41:53.826 --> 00:42:00.426
Because, here I am on Sunday
in church, holy Spirit moving.

00:42:00.656 --> 00:42:02.576
we just preaching God.

00:42:02.576 --> 00:42:09.026
We just, I mean, oh, what a what
wonderful, you know, uh, environment.

00:42:09.026 --> 00:42:11.546
You can feel the presence in such a way.

00:42:11.636 --> 00:42:14.246
And when I had my hands up in the
air, you know, that enemy me will

00:42:14.246 --> 00:42:17.396
whisper in my ear, Hey, remember
that beer you drank on the Tuesday?

00:42:19.646 --> 00:42:22.016
And man, the fire will go right out of me.

00:42:22.021 --> 00:42:22.311
Mm-hmm.

00:42:22.391 --> 00:42:26.516
So a lot of, you know, so it
was a struggle for two years.

00:42:26.576 --> 00:42:30.656
Though I was in church, I would
go to church every Sunday.

00:42:30.656 --> 00:42:31.976
I would go to church every Wednesday.

00:42:32.286 --> 00:42:35.376
I tithe, I served, I did
many things in church.

00:42:35.586 --> 00:42:37.291
But yeah, there was a struggle in me.

00:42:37.801 --> 00:42:41.771
But then in 89, one night,
one day, I was home.

00:42:42.191 --> 00:42:48.701
And that's why I mean about a retreat and
having an encounter of Christ, I was home.

00:42:48.701 --> 00:42:52.061
I need my own business
watching Wide World Sports.

00:42:52.841 --> 00:42:56.201
And to be honest with you,
I had a beer next to me.

00:42:56.201 --> 00:42:59.831
I had, and I, and so I'm
watching the World Sports.

00:42:59.831 --> 00:43:00.521
I'm by myself.

00:43:00.521 --> 00:43:06.731
My, my wife had gone out with the kids
and I heard a voice and the voice says

00:43:06.731 --> 00:43:09.851
to me, you cannot serve two masters.

00:43:11.561 --> 00:43:13.001
When I heard that, it blew my mind.

00:43:13.901 --> 00:43:19.301
First of all, it took maybe 12
beers for me to feel anything.

00:43:19.631 --> 00:43:23.801
'cause I was so used to drinking,
So I wasn't, drunk or I wasn't,

00:43:24.341 --> 00:43:27.731
you know, to me one kind of beer
was like drinking a glass of water.

00:43:29.621 --> 00:43:31.721
So when I heard that
voice, it paralyzed me.

00:43:32.231 --> 00:43:34.581
'cause I knew this wasn't,
this wasn't natural.

00:43:35.781 --> 00:43:38.001
I knew that I was, something was going on.

00:43:38.091 --> 00:43:42.591
And when I heard that
voice, I felt a conviction.

00:43:42.591 --> 00:43:47.486
I knew that was the Lord
speaking to me because of the

00:43:47.486 --> 00:43:48.866
double life that I was living.

00:43:51.176 --> 00:43:55.616
And I said to the Lord, I
said, Lord, what's wrong with

00:43:56.006 --> 00:43:57.986
me being here in my house?

00:43:57.986 --> 00:43:59.216
The privacy of my home?

00:43:59.231 --> 00:44:04.101
I'm drinking a beer, I work
long hours, you know that I

00:44:04.101 --> 00:44:06.251
work those panels and who knows?

00:44:06.251 --> 00:44:08.886
One these day I'm gonna stick my
hands in one of those panels, and

00:44:09.186 --> 00:44:10.356
that's going to be the end of me.

00:44:11.676 --> 00:44:12.576
So what's wrong with me?

00:44:12.636 --> 00:44:13.446
I'm, I'm here.

00:44:13.446 --> 00:44:14.466
I'm not hurting nobody.

00:44:14.466 --> 00:44:15.306
I'm not in a bar.

00:44:15.346 --> 00:44:16.211
I'm not doing nothing.

00:44:16.211 --> 00:44:19.121
I'm just trying to relax,
enjoy the day, this and that.

00:44:19.851 --> 00:44:22.011
I was like, Perry Mason fighting the case.

00:44:22.011 --> 00:44:22.551
You know what I mean?

00:44:23.161 --> 00:44:29.251
and I did that out of fear because
I knew this was something spiritual.

00:44:29.251 --> 00:44:30.961
this, this was nothing normal.

00:44:31.981 --> 00:44:37.711
So after, out of fear, I'm
fighting my case, and I told

00:44:37.711 --> 00:44:38.851
the Lord, all these things.

00:44:39.151 --> 00:44:43.081
And then there was a silence
for a while, and in my mind I

00:44:43.081 --> 00:44:44.581
said, I must have won this case.

00:44:46.171 --> 00:44:46.321
Yeah.

00:44:46.321 --> 00:44:49.191
That's why I said, man, I did
a good job defending my cause.

00:44:49.881 --> 00:44:53.384
And the voice came back and said to
me, well,  if you're not with me.

00:44:53.759 --> 00:44:54.479
You're against me.

00:44:55.256 --> 00:44:55.796
That's simple.

00:44:56.336 --> 00:44:56.786
That's simple.

00:44:57.686 --> 00:44:59.156
When he said that, I don't know.

00:44:59.156 --> 00:45:02.396
I just dropped right there where I was.

00:45:02.396 --> 00:45:03.386
I dropped to the floor.

00:45:03.386 --> 00:45:09.266
I started crying, shaking, scared,
because I realized that I had been

00:45:09.266 --> 00:45:11.666
committing spiritual adultery.

00:45:14.156 --> 00:45:16.076
I had never seen it like
that before, you know?

00:45:16.076 --> 00:45:16.166
Mm-hmm.

00:45:16.736 --> 00:45:20.756
And it so happened that while I was
on the floor asking God to forgive me,

00:45:21.596 --> 00:45:23.396
forgive me, Lord, forgive me, forgive me.

00:45:23.816 --> 00:45:29.816
That the Holy Spirit reminded me that we
had a new pastor had came from Kentucky.

00:45:29.876 --> 00:45:34.466
This a young man, and this man was, I
mean, the anointing of Kawa on this man's

00:45:34.466 --> 00:45:37.436
lives, I mean, in such a powerful way.

00:45:37.496 --> 00:45:39.296
His name is Pastor Scott Krogers.

00:45:40.286 --> 00:45:43.156
And, He had started something in
the church called the Hour Power.

00:45:43.156 --> 00:45:48.086
So every Saturday, those who wanted
to attend, they could go from like six

00:45:48.086 --> 00:45:53.636
to seven or seven to eight at seven to
eight, and you just went and you pray.

00:45:53.876 --> 00:45:57.536
You pray for the Sunday service,
you pray for your own needs, you

00:45:57.566 --> 00:46:00.576
pray for the community, you pray
for whatever God put in your spirit.

00:46:01.536 --> 00:46:05.076
So I wasn't part of it because like
I say, I was going through a process.

00:46:05.826 --> 00:46:07.716
Um, so I wasn't part of that.

00:46:07.716 --> 00:46:11.006
But at that moment in time, the
Holy Spirit brought that to my

00:46:11.006 --> 00:46:16.416
heart and I said, Lord, if you
help me to get to church, if you

00:46:16.416 --> 00:46:19.386
help me make it to the church, I
don't know why I had to get there.

00:46:19.386 --> 00:46:22.171
But I said, if you help me,
we're gonna stay at the school.

00:46:23.371 --> 00:46:28.051
So now my wife had gone out,
she had the car, I had all

00:46:28.051 --> 00:46:29.431
beat up truck in the backyard.

00:46:29.431 --> 00:46:30.451
I've been sitting there forever.

00:46:31.816 --> 00:46:34.216
And the Holy Spirit put that in my mind.

00:46:34.456 --> 00:46:35.686
Hey, you got that truck back there.

00:46:36.196 --> 00:46:39.406
So I get out from the
floor, I run to the bedroom.

00:46:39.406 --> 00:46:43.066
I'm looking for the keys everywhere
I finally find the keys, then I

00:46:43.066 --> 00:46:46.786
don't know if the battery's good,
the truck is gonna start or not, has

00:46:46.786 --> 00:46:48.556
no tags, no insurance has nothing.

00:46:50.176 --> 00:46:50.806
But I'm desperate.

00:46:50.806 --> 00:46:53.346
I'm like a man who's desperate,
who's, they know his rope.

00:46:54.066 --> 00:46:55.596
So I ran into the truck.

00:46:55.866 --> 00:46:56.316
Boom.

00:46:56.496 --> 00:46:57.926
The truck, starts.

00:46:58.436 --> 00:47:00.076
I, I run to the church.

00:47:00.646 --> 00:47:04.216
I get to church, I walk inside the church.

00:47:04.366 --> 00:47:10.826
And as I walk towards the, i the
altar, the pastor, pastor Scott,

00:47:10.856 --> 00:47:17.656
his wife Kathy, his, father-in-law,
Gordon, his mother-in-law, Joanna,

00:47:18.526 --> 00:47:21.946
Catherine, and Raymond, six people.

00:47:22.351 --> 00:47:24.271
On the left side of the altar.

00:47:24.331 --> 00:47:26.821
And when I walked in,
I could hear my name.

00:47:27.721 --> 00:47:28.471
They were praying for me.

00:47:30.451 --> 00:47:35.311
I walked to the altar and I went to the
right side of the altar away from there.

00:47:35.791 --> 00:47:38.461
And I got on my knees and
I said, God, this is it.

00:47:40.291 --> 00:47:44.461
You either take all of
me or let me go, man.

00:47:44.461 --> 00:47:49.231
I broke down in such a way and
in such something supernatural

00:47:49.231 --> 00:47:50.251
happened right there.

00:47:50.911 --> 00:47:52.771
I had a special time with the Lord.

00:47:53.581 --> 00:47:56.701
I'm not gonna tell you what
happened, but something,

00:47:58.921 --> 00:48:03.721
I mean, it was something very special when
I got up from there, I felt so different.

00:48:03.721 --> 00:48:04.351
I felt

00:48:06.361 --> 00:48:06.541
it.

00:48:07.051 --> 00:48:07.831
It's hard to explain.

00:48:08.561 --> 00:48:12.141
my pastor at that time, pastor
Scott Crowler was my pastor and

00:48:12.141 --> 00:48:13.371
all that, and they all came and I.

00:48:13.866 --> 00:48:14.946
Asked me, you alright, Carlos?

00:48:14.946 --> 00:48:15.606
I said, I'm fine.

00:48:15.646 --> 00:48:16.186
I'm great.

00:48:17.626 --> 00:48:20.456
So I went home and, when I got
home, my wife was telling me,

00:48:20.456 --> 00:48:21.476
she asked me, where were you?

00:48:21.536 --> 00:48:22.736
And I said, I was at church.

00:48:22.976 --> 00:48:23.756
She said, really?

00:48:23.846 --> 00:48:24.326
I said, yeah.

00:48:24.326 --> 00:48:27.836
And I says, you know what, hun, from
this day on, I'm never gonna drink again.

00:48:28.496 --> 00:48:29.516
I'm never gonna smoke again.

00:48:29.846 --> 00:48:30.386
I gonna do none.

00:48:30.386 --> 00:48:31.286
This things again.

00:48:32.576 --> 00:48:34.196
And she looked at me like, oh.

00:48:34.196 --> 00:48:35.606
She said, you are right.

00:48:36.956 --> 00:48:38.186
My word had no power.

00:48:38.186 --> 00:48:40.596
My word, because I have
made so many promises.

00:48:40.896 --> 00:48:42.186
We have been together by now.

00:48:42.186 --> 00:48:45.336
We have been together for seven
years and for seven years I've been

00:48:45.966 --> 00:48:47.766
breaking promises, one after the other.

00:48:48.336 --> 00:48:50.826
So now I have, the time has
come, I have to prove to her

00:48:51.066 --> 00:48:52.836
that God has transformed my life.

00:48:53.526 --> 00:48:59.406
So, uh, I, uh, the beer that I had,
I took that beer and I emptied out

00:48:59.406 --> 00:49:04.536
the sink, pour me a glass of milk
that replaced the beer, cigarettes.

00:49:04.536 --> 00:49:05.976
I had a brand new pack of cigarettes.

00:49:05.976 --> 00:49:07.566
I had, I still had.

00:49:08.046 --> 00:49:09.276
Doubts are hidden.

00:49:09.276 --> 00:49:10.051
Be I, hi.

00:49:10.056 --> 00:49:15.486
I went and hired a cigarette behind
the washing machine, and I went to work

00:49:15.636 --> 00:49:19.386
and I'm still struggling with, with
the job, with the guys and all that.

00:49:20.056 --> 00:49:23.506
a few days went by and I realized that,
wow, I haven't picked up a cigarette.

00:49:23.506 --> 00:49:24.316
what's going on?

00:49:24.916 --> 00:49:26.356
So one day I got home early.

00:49:26.356 --> 00:49:31.386
My, my wife wasn't, say I wasn't home,
so I, went back there, got moved the

00:49:31.386 --> 00:49:34.466
washing machine, got the pack out,
went all the way to, in the backyard.

00:49:34.466 --> 00:49:35.486
I had a lot of orange trees.

00:49:35.486 --> 00:49:37.366
I went all in the back, way back.

00:49:38.476 --> 00:49:41.626
And I had my lighter and I had my
cigarette, and I took one cigarette

00:49:41.626 --> 00:49:44.446
and I lit it and I took that big puff.

00:49:44.446 --> 00:49:49.956
Oh, when, as soon as I inhaled, man,
I started throwing up and throwing up.

00:49:50.261 --> 00:49:51.786
I thought I was gonna throw out my socks.

00:49:52.296 --> 00:49:53.106
That's how bad.

00:49:53.886 --> 00:49:57.276
And right there, I started praising
God because he had healed me.

00:49:58.191 --> 00:49:58.701
Mm.

00:49:58.881 --> 00:50:02.061
He had healed me, you know, and
I had been smoking for 20 years.

00:50:02.121 --> 00:50:02.151
Mm.

00:50:02.691 --> 00:50:03.531
So this is what I'm saying.

00:50:03.536 --> 00:50:07.216
I don't condemn nobody or judge nobody
or criticize anybody for anything

00:50:07.606 --> 00:50:09.376
because it's guy who does the work.

00:50:09.826 --> 00:50:10.726
So it's been a process.

00:50:13.018 --> 00:50:16.658
after that, God putting my
heart after living 10 years in

00:50:16.658 --> 00:50:20.548
fort marriage to come here to,
Jacksonville and I had no idea why.

00:50:21.098 --> 00:50:27.448
because at that time we finally,
in, 97, we were, we reached that

00:50:27.448 --> 00:50:29.218
place where we were comfortable.

00:50:29.398 --> 00:50:31.258
We had the house that we wanted.

00:50:31.258 --> 00:50:32.068
We worked very hard.

00:50:32.068 --> 00:50:35.898
My wife and I worked very hard to
accomplish what we had accomplished.

00:50:36.288 --> 00:50:40.938
I had brought my mother from New Jersey
to live with us, my brothers who were

00:50:40.938 --> 00:50:43.098
living with us, I had a good job.

00:50:43.098 --> 00:50:44.088
My wife had a good job.

00:50:44.168 --> 00:50:48.308
we seemed to have everything,
but it seemed like.

00:50:48.968 --> 00:50:52.778
One day I was sitting on my porch and
I looked around at all the things that

00:50:52.778 --> 00:50:56.168
God had given me and I contemplated.

00:50:56.168 --> 00:51:00.578
And I said, and you can ask
my son, because he heard me.

00:51:00.938 --> 00:51:04.138
I was thinking out loud and
I said, God, you know what?

00:51:04.498 --> 00:51:08.248
all this that you had given me, I'm
willing to give it up for more of you.

00:51:09.658 --> 00:51:11.578
And Carlos Alito was walking.

00:51:11.668 --> 00:51:12.418
He was kicking.

00:51:12.478 --> 00:51:13.498
He didn't walk at that time.

00:51:13.498 --> 00:51:15.418
He just kicked the soccer
ball over the house.

00:51:15.868 --> 00:51:17.128
Drive me crazy with that.

00:51:17.998 --> 00:51:19.908
And, he said, what you say, dad?

00:51:20.038 --> 00:51:22.768
because he thought I was talking
to him and I said, I know, son.

00:51:22.768 --> 00:51:23.668
I was just talking to God.

00:51:23.668 --> 00:51:28.348
I told God that I give up all this
for more of him, and to my amazement,

00:51:29.278 --> 00:51:33.508
a place that I thought I would never
leave, I end up leaving, got put in

00:51:33.628 --> 00:51:36.068
my hearts to move, to Jacksonville.

00:51:37.238 --> 00:51:41.038
Didn't know why, but, sometimes
being obedient is hard.

00:51:41.038 --> 00:51:41.638
It's not easy.

00:51:42.553 --> 00:51:45.823
Because we look at things in the
natural, not in the spiritual, and

00:51:45.823 --> 00:51:47.293
we don't know what the future holds.

00:51:47.293 --> 00:51:51.953
And sometimes that can bring fear,
leaving you being comfortable

00:51:51.953 --> 00:51:53.663
and then to leave, like we did.

00:51:53.693 --> 00:51:55.763
when we came to Jacksonville,
we didn't know nobody.

00:51:55.763 --> 00:51:56.783
I had no job.

00:51:56.823 --> 00:51:57.423
it was hard.

00:51:58.023 --> 00:52:03.903
But through prayer and fasting, we, came
and visited a friend in Jacksonville.

00:52:04.363 --> 00:52:04.753
here.

00:52:04.753 --> 00:52:07.923
I went to church, to the Potter's
House, which I've been now a

00:52:07.923 --> 00:52:10.323
member for the past 27 years.

00:52:11.043 --> 00:52:12.183
And God spoke to me.

00:52:12.183 --> 00:52:13.113
There I was.

00:52:13.163 --> 00:52:17.513
when, we came here, it so happened
that I had just broken my right hand.

00:52:18.053 --> 00:52:19.073
So I was in a cache.

00:52:19.073 --> 00:52:20.003
I was outta work.

00:52:20.003 --> 00:52:21.353
I was in, disability.

00:52:22.163 --> 00:52:26.453
So we came to visit a friend
that we had, in Fort Myers.

00:52:27.083 --> 00:52:28.973
And that friend took us
to the palace's house.

00:52:28.973 --> 00:52:34.983
And in that service, God spoke to me and
he, he said, ask me whatever you want.

00:52:35.658 --> 00:52:37.608
And I will give it to you right now.

00:52:38.628 --> 00:52:41.228
And, my hands were hop in the air.

00:52:41.318 --> 00:52:42.008
I was crying.

00:52:42.008 --> 00:52:43.178
The spirit was moving.

00:52:43.238 --> 00:52:46.778
I mean, there was such a, an anointing
in that sermon that was something

00:52:46.778 --> 00:52:48.038
I had never experienced before.

00:52:48.668 --> 00:52:51.158
And I said, well, God, I know
if I ask you for healing, I know

00:52:51.158 --> 00:52:52.448
you will heal my hand right now.

00:52:52.598 --> 00:52:53.348
Right now I know it.

00:52:53.708 --> 00:52:54.758
'cause I had that kind of faith.

00:52:55.958 --> 00:52:59.438
if I ask you for money, I know
you would give it to me right now.

00:52:59.438 --> 00:53:01.268
Somebody will walk up
to me and gimme a check.

00:53:01.268 --> 00:53:02.108
I know you would do that.

00:53:03.343 --> 00:53:05.738
You know, I got what
I want is more of you.

00:53:05.918 --> 00:53:09.248
So I repeated the same thing
that I re I said in, in Fort

00:53:09.248 --> 00:53:10.718
Myers, I said it in Jacksonville.

00:53:11.408 --> 00:53:13.568
And he said, open your eyes.

00:53:14.108 --> 00:53:16.928
And I opened my eyes and
he said, look at the altar.

00:53:16.928 --> 00:53:20.438
And I looked at the altar and my
pastor now, he was standing there,

00:53:20.438 --> 00:53:22.598
he said, that's gonna be your pastor.

00:53:22.808 --> 00:53:23.798
That's gonna be your mentor.

00:53:24.308 --> 00:53:25.658
That's who you're gonna
submit yourself to.

00:53:26.558 --> 00:53:27.638
And I just looked and I.

00:53:28.673 --> 00:53:29.393
It's impossible.

00:53:29.423 --> 00:53:32.393
'cause I live in Fort Myers,
seven hours from here.

00:53:32.393 --> 00:53:34.793
So, alright.

00:53:36.286 --> 00:53:41.326
Everything ended, we drove from
Jacksonville to Fort Myers and

00:53:41.326 --> 00:53:43.066
not one word was said in that car.

00:53:44.176 --> 00:53:47.476
My wife was like, we were
like in different dimensions.

00:53:47.476 --> 00:53:48.586
The kids were quiet.

00:53:48.586 --> 00:53:52.696
Something you never see, Carlos and
everybody was like, what happened?

00:53:53.116 --> 00:53:57.286
Or, he had been, it was like we had
been in the, in, in the presence

00:53:57.286 --> 00:54:00.656
of God in such a way that his glory
just took her, just took over.

00:54:00.866 --> 00:54:01.076
Yeah.

00:54:01.106 --> 00:54:04.646
So from that moment on, we used to come
every weekend, every other weekend.

00:54:04.646 --> 00:54:05.966
I'm sorry, every other weekend.

00:54:05.966 --> 00:54:09.296
We used to come from Fort Myers
to Jacksonville to go to church.

00:54:09.391 --> 00:54:10.531
how long did that take?

00:54:10.681 --> 00:54:12.091
Six and a half hours.

00:54:12.091 --> 00:54:13.111
Oh man.

00:54:14.161 --> 00:54:16.291
And some people don't go to
church and they live around

00:54:16.291 --> 00:54:17.761
the corner because it's cloudy.

00:54:20.371 --> 00:54:21.001
It's cloudy.

00:54:21.001 --> 00:54:21.211
Oh.

00:54:21.631 --> 00:54:22.831
I don't feel like going this.

00:54:23.101 --> 00:54:25.201
We used to drive six and a half hours.

00:54:25.201 --> 00:54:27.661
We come on a Friday, I get
outta work, said I would get

00:54:27.661 --> 00:54:29.671
outta work and we rush home.

00:54:29.671 --> 00:54:32.041
We already had the bags
ready and all that.

00:54:32.461 --> 00:54:36.001
And we, you know, little cooler with
the little stuff for the kids because,

00:54:36.493 --> 00:54:41.143
and we hit that road and drive and
we'd get out, we would stay, get off

00:54:41.143 --> 00:54:44.743
on hundred third Street and stay at one
of those hotels or motels, whatever.

00:54:45.163 --> 00:54:47.683
So we'd be here Saturday, we
would see our friend, and then

00:54:47.683 --> 00:54:49.153
Sunday we would go to church.

00:54:49.213 --> 00:54:51.763
And then after church we would
have lunch and head back.

00:54:52.633 --> 00:54:56.893
And then the, the fire, the
anointing of the Holy Spirit.

00:54:57.073 --> 00:55:01.123
I will share with my church over there
on that Sunday, 'cause I would call one

00:55:01.123 --> 00:55:03.613
Sunday here and one Sunday over there.

00:55:04.273 --> 00:55:07.783
And, so then the, the call, I
felt the call that I had to come

00:55:07.783 --> 00:55:09.643
over here after God spoke to me.

00:55:09.853 --> 00:55:13.063
So now I needed the courage to
do it because we had it all.

00:55:13.063 --> 00:55:13.843
We were comfortable.

00:55:14.413 --> 00:55:18.253
And I started praying and fasting,
praying and fasting and asking, God,

00:55:18.253 --> 00:55:23.923
please, that this is not something that
is, you know, uh, controlled by emotions.

00:55:24.253 --> 00:55:24.733
You know what I mean?

00:55:25.003 --> 00:55:26.383
Because you can get confused.

00:55:26.443 --> 00:55:26.893
You know what I mean?

00:55:26.893 --> 00:55:28.693
Feelings and emotions can betray you.

00:55:29.563 --> 00:55:34.783
And one night the Holy Spirit woke me
up about two o'clock in the morning

00:55:35.233 --> 00:55:38.323
and said, go grab your Bible, which
he was by my nightstand next to me.

00:55:38.323 --> 00:55:40.993
Grab your Bible, go to the dining
room and I'm gonna show you.

00:55:41.473 --> 00:55:42.343
And I got up.

00:55:42.738 --> 00:55:46.818
got my Bible, went to the dining room,
sat down and said, open your Bible.

00:55:47.028 --> 00:55:51.078
Genesis chapter 12, if you know the
stories where God spoke to Abraham

00:55:51.078 --> 00:55:54.868
and told him to live, actually live
your family, live your comfortable

00:55:54.868 --> 00:55:59.818
life and all these crazy gods that
you're following and follow me.

00:56:00.118 --> 00:56:00.703
And I will bless.

00:56:01.623 --> 00:56:04.588
I will bless those who bless you
and curse those who curse you.

00:56:04.638 --> 00:56:07.848
and you'll see will be like
the stars in the heaven and

00:56:07.848 --> 00:56:09.738
the sand in the, and the shore.

00:56:10.338 --> 00:56:12.253
And I read that, and I
read that, and I read that.

00:56:12.253 --> 00:56:16.453
And there I got my confirmation, I got
the strength, the courage that I needed.

00:56:16.963 --> 00:56:21.013
The next morning when I said I got up
that I went to talk to her, she said to

00:56:21.013 --> 00:56:22.753
me, the Holy Spirit already spoke to me.

00:56:24.043 --> 00:56:24.673
Let's go.

00:56:25.123 --> 00:56:25.513
Mm-hmm.

00:56:26.113 --> 00:56:30.088
And so we, from that moment on, we
started, I put, I, I told my job I

00:56:30.088 --> 00:56:33.298
was leaving and they're like, wait
a minute, Carlos, where you going?

00:56:33.298 --> 00:56:33.958
What's going on?

00:56:33.988 --> 00:56:34.228
This?

00:56:34.228 --> 00:56:35.338
And that said, I gotta leave.

00:56:35.428 --> 00:56:35.908
Said Why?

00:56:35.958 --> 00:56:36.378
I don't know.

00:56:36.378 --> 00:56:36.963
I just gotta go.

00:56:37.503 --> 00:56:38.373
What is it about money?

00:56:38.373 --> 00:56:39.513
look, don't tell nobody.

00:56:39.543 --> 00:56:39.843
Okay?

00:56:40.623 --> 00:56:41.823
We ain't giving no worries about it.

00:56:41.823 --> 00:56:44.553
We're gonna make an except, but
you promise me you we gonna give.

00:56:44.703 --> 00:56:45.783
I said it's not about money.

00:56:46.173 --> 00:56:46.893
It's not about money.

00:56:47.613 --> 00:56:50.373
I wish you would've said
that before, but be a race.

00:56:50.373 --> 00:56:51.273
But not now.

00:56:51.273 --> 00:56:53.903
I ain't, and say that the
same way they offer her money.

00:56:53.903 --> 00:56:58.433
My pastor, my Sunday school
teacher, they all came to my house

00:56:58.433 --> 00:57:00.263
and say, why are you doing this?

00:57:00.413 --> 00:57:01.823
And my answer was, I don't know.

00:57:02.333 --> 00:57:05.813
That was my answer said that used
to tell me, you don't sound too

00:57:05.933 --> 00:57:08.643
educated when you tell people that,
I said, what you want me to do?

00:57:08.643 --> 00:57:09.843
Lie, I don't know.

00:57:10.083 --> 00:57:11.103
We are just doing this.

00:57:11.493 --> 00:57:12.123
Gotta do it.

00:57:12.783 --> 00:57:13.833
There's no turning back.

00:57:14.163 --> 00:57:18.303
So we saw what we could or we gave
away whatever, and we saw whatever.

00:57:18.393 --> 00:57:23.913
And then whatever we had left over, we
put in the U-Haul truck and drove now

00:57:23.913 --> 00:57:29.643
looking back and we drove to uh, hundred
third Street, we got the apartment through

00:57:29.643 --> 00:57:31.383
the internet, never seen it before.

00:57:31.383 --> 00:57:34.803
Door backed that up to the door.

00:57:35.868 --> 00:57:38.178
Opened that door, stood and looked.

00:57:38.868 --> 00:57:40.068
Now we left a house.

00:57:40.068 --> 00:57:44.418
I have four bedrooms, two car
garage, huge backyard, huge

00:57:44.418 --> 00:57:46.488
front yard, beautiful neighbors.

00:57:46.878 --> 00:57:50.238
It was about seven, eight
of us in that neighborhood.

00:57:50.418 --> 00:57:51.468
We looked out for each other.

00:57:51.468 --> 00:57:55.463
If I was gonna go on vacation, I would
tell my, my, my neighbor, Hey, I'm going.

00:57:55.793 --> 00:57:56.993
So don't worry about it, Carlos.

00:57:57.593 --> 00:58:00.053
And if anybody stop in
front of my house, boom.

00:58:00.263 --> 00:58:00.998
He'd be over there.

00:58:01.588 --> 00:58:03.833
He'd be, in front of, asking, who are you?

00:58:03.833 --> 00:58:04.598
What you doing here?

00:58:04.598 --> 00:58:05.333
What you looking for?

00:58:05.753 --> 00:58:06.563
And the same.

00:58:06.683 --> 00:58:07.493
His name was Ike.

00:58:07.493 --> 00:58:10.823
And the same way me, somebody was
stop by his house when he was away.

00:58:10.823 --> 00:58:14.093
I get out, go out there, can I help you?

00:58:14.423 --> 00:58:16.973
You know, that's the kind of
neighborhood that I was living in.

00:58:17.483 --> 00:58:18.773
So we left all that.

00:58:19.853 --> 00:58:24.014
and I opened the door to the apartment
here in hundred third Street.

00:58:26.144 --> 00:58:27.254
My wife looked at it.

00:58:27.734 --> 00:58:33.014
I looked at Joy, which is
my youngest boy said, mommy.

00:58:34.004 --> 00:58:35.144
She said, what son?

00:58:35.594 --> 00:58:36.374
Are we poor?

00:58:39.494 --> 00:58:43.424
I started, are we poor now
mommy and man say that.

00:58:43.424 --> 00:58:44.189
She like, ah.

00:58:44.934 --> 00:58:47.484
She said, don't open
the door to that truck.

00:58:47.844 --> 00:58:48.444
Don't unload.

00:58:48.954 --> 00:58:49.734
Not one thing.

00:58:49.764 --> 00:58:51.054
We are going back home.

00:58:51.474 --> 00:58:53.184
We are going back home right now.

00:58:53.934 --> 00:58:55.134
And she took on running.

00:58:55.554 --> 00:58:56.844
I said, what's wrong with this woman?

00:58:56.844 --> 00:58:57.144
You know?

00:58:57.744 --> 00:59:01.274
And I went inside and I looked and I
got on my face and I started praying.

00:59:01.274 --> 00:59:04.574
I said, God, I know, you know, you
don't make mistakes if you call us here.

00:59:04.574 --> 00:59:05.564
You know what?

00:59:06.314 --> 00:59:07.724
Anyways, got a job.

00:59:08.774 --> 00:59:12.464
We didn't know our way around, how
to go, find my way around, got a job

00:59:12.464 --> 00:59:14.534
making half of what I used to make.

00:59:14.744 --> 00:59:14.864
Mm-hmm.

00:59:15.824 --> 00:59:19.694
Um, and um, it was rough the first year.

00:59:19.694 --> 00:59:21.494
It was so rough and all I kept saying.

00:59:22.079 --> 00:59:24.749
Encouraging myself was God
does not make mistakes.

00:59:24.959 --> 00:59:29.339
I know I heard God, I heard his voice,
and I know this is what he wants.

00:59:29.389 --> 00:59:32.719
you know, even though it don't make sense
to me, 'cause he did leaving all that,

00:59:32.809 --> 00:59:37.539
that I had to come to this to, you know,
and, but while, but, while I was working

00:59:37.539 --> 00:59:44.499
there, my job, gave me a li liberty, I
guess freedom where the church I was going

00:59:44.499 --> 00:59:48.649
to, I, bumped into my pastor one day.

00:59:48.889 --> 00:59:49.519
He didn't know me.

00:59:49.519 --> 00:59:50.209
I didn't know him.

00:59:50.449 --> 00:59:53.719
I used to go to the service, but
you're talking about a crowd of 5,000

00:59:53.719 --> 00:59:57.554
people, and one day we bumped in
the hallway and we started talking.

00:59:57.554 --> 00:59:58.424
He asked me who I was.

00:59:58.424 --> 01:00:01.934
I told him who I was and he
asked me what was I doing here?

01:00:01.934 --> 01:00:04.014
And I shared my testimony with him.

01:00:04.014 --> 01:00:04.074
I.

01:00:04.509 --> 01:00:05.709
And he said, what's the purpose?

01:00:06.069 --> 01:00:07.329
And I said, I'll be honest with you.

01:00:07.384 --> 01:00:10.824
I wanted to go to school, but I can,
because not only do I have my four

01:00:10.824 --> 01:00:16.134
kids, but I had adopt two grandkids
because in, when I was out there crazy,

01:00:16.134 --> 01:00:18.044
I had a relationship with somebody.

01:00:18.044 --> 01:00:24.284
So I had a daughter, and my daughter
got, was got a little bit crazy and

01:00:24.284 --> 01:00:26.264
the state took the kids from her.

01:00:26.504 --> 01:00:28.904
So the judge gave me custody of them.

01:00:29.144 --> 01:00:32.384
So now I have my four
plus my two grandkids.

01:00:32.384 --> 01:00:33.284
So I had six.

01:00:34.034 --> 01:00:37.664
So I told my pastor, I said, yeah, I
like to, I would love to go to school

01:00:38.084 --> 01:00:40.214
even though I, put it advancing age.

01:00:40.214 --> 01:00:41.654
I was like 50 something years old.

01:00:42.704 --> 01:00:46.155
But I came because I got this
family, blah, blah, blah, blah,

01:00:46.160 --> 01:00:47.954
blah, So I explained to him,
he said, okay, no problem.

01:00:48.044 --> 01:00:48.344
He left.

01:00:48.554 --> 01:00:49.769
I left it, we left it at that.

01:00:49.769 --> 01:00:53.099
So I went back to work this and
that, because what I would do is.

01:00:53.619 --> 01:00:57.669
I would get outta work when I got,
when I got outta work early, I would

01:00:57.669 --> 01:01:01.019
go by the church and see, how could
I help in any kind of way, you know?

01:01:01.409 --> 01:01:04.959
And it so happened that at that time they
were doing an addition to the church.

01:01:05.499 --> 01:01:09.849
So whenever I got out, got outta
work at three 30, I would go straight

01:01:09.849 --> 01:01:13.189
to the church and help, electrical
work, whatever they needed to do.

01:01:13.189 --> 01:01:14.659
So I was doing that for them.

01:01:15.619 --> 01:01:21.499
So one day I got a letter from Logos
Christian College saying to, you know,

01:01:21.499 --> 01:01:23.329
with an appointment date and time.

01:01:23.329 --> 01:01:24.769
And I'm like, what's this all about?

01:01:25.669 --> 01:01:25.939
You know?

01:01:25.939 --> 01:01:28.669
So I said, maybe they made
a mistake or whatever.

01:01:29.179 --> 01:01:31.249
So I called, they say, no, come on in.

01:01:31.759 --> 01:01:32.299
Alright.

01:01:32.959 --> 01:01:38.169
So I went and they sat me down and
they say, okay, this is, are the

01:01:38.169 --> 01:01:39.729
classes that we offer, this and that?

01:01:39.729 --> 01:01:41.309
And I say, what's the cost?

01:01:41.849 --> 01:01:43.499
He said, no, somebody
already took care of that.

01:01:43.769 --> 01:01:45.149
So you have to pay for the books.

01:01:45.479 --> 01:01:45.809
That's all.

01:01:47.414 --> 01:01:52.784
So here is where everything comes
in is where, I was going to school.

01:01:52.904 --> 01:01:54.344
They asked me what I wanted to take.

01:01:54.584 --> 01:01:59.264
So my point was I wanted to
know what the Bible said.

01:02:00.194 --> 01:02:00.554
Okay.

01:02:01.694 --> 01:02:06.254
I praise God that I came from the
streets straight to Jesus arms.

01:02:07.694 --> 01:02:07.994
Okay?

01:02:08.594 --> 01:02:10.874
I didn't come from the
streets to religion.

01:02:12.314 --> 01:02:17.224
It's a big difference because there's
such thing as the law or the first truth.

01:02:17.854 --> 01:02:20.844
What you first learn is hard
to You see what I'm saying?

01:02:20.849 --> 01:02:20.969
Mm-hmm.

01:02:21.309 --> 01:02:27.264
So I knew a little bit about God that
I learned from my grandparents because

01:02:27.264 --> 01:02:31.524
both of my grandmothers were, I guess I
can say Christians, they went to church.

01:02:32.274 --> 01:02:35.244
But you gotta understand who
taught them what they knew.

01:02:36.234 --> 01:02:37.074
See what mean.

01:02:37.644 --> 01:02:39.414
So my grandfather also.

01:02:40.089 --> 01:02:44.439
so I had learned from them and
then I had watched people and how

01:02:44.439 --> 01:02:48.329
people would tell me one thing and
somebody else would tell me something

01:02:48.329 --> 01:02:50.009
different about the same thing.

01:02:50.969 --> 01:02:55.169
So when I went to school, I, I said to
the guidance counselor, I said, I wanna

01:02:55.169 --> 01:03:02.349
learn, what the bible's all about, what
the teachings and that, you know, just

01:03:02.559 --> 01:03:05.369
to be just, concentrated on one subject.

01:03:05.549 --> 01:03:07.459
So he said, you need to
take general ministry.

01:03:07.459 --> 01:03:10.099
That means that you're gonna
study the life of David.

01:03:10.219 --> 01:03:14.019
You gonna study, just different subjects,
and then, after you do all that, then

01:03:14.019 --> 01:03:16.029
you decide what you wanna focus on.

01:03:16.399 --> 01:03:17.629
I said, that sounds good to me.

01:03:18.269 --> 01:03:20.519
so one of the, so for four years.

01:03:21.029 --> 01:03:23.789
I got my associates and I
got my bachelor's degree.

01:03:24.209 --> 01:03:30.869
And those four years always, they offer
how to be a pastor, how to, govern

01:03:30.869 --> 01:03:34.979
a church, how to build a church, how
to, you know, that kind of stuff.

01:03:35.489 --> 01:03:36.659
Finances and all that.

01:03:36.659 --> 01:03:41.189
But to me, I never took none of those
classes for the simple reason that

01:03:41.459 --> 01:03:43.469
I just wanted to learn the Bible.

01:03:43.739 --> 01:03:43.829
Hmm.

01:03:44.069 --> 01:03:47.729
I wanted to learn what God was
saying through his prophets,

01:03:47.729 --> 01:03:51.669
what Jesus was saying when he,
put before us his teachings.

01:03:52.179 --> 01:03:55.834
And so people used to ask me,
why are you going to college?

01:03:56.194 --> 01:03:57.424
I said, 'cause I wanna learn.

01:03:58.354 --> 01:04:02.854
Learn what the Bible for what for myself.

01:04:04.054 --> 01:04:08.404
And never enough once in my life that
I wanted, that had any other purpose I.

01:04:09.229 --> 01:04:13.309
So, you know, I did my first two
years when we started, man, it

01:04:13.309 --> 01:04:14.869
was, I mean, such a big group.

01:04:15.589 --> 01:04:20.929
And by the second year when I got my
associates, half of that group was going.

01:04:21.829 --> 01:04:26.969
And then, four years later, when it was
graduation time, only two of us graduated.

01:04:26.969 --> 01:04:27.509
Wow.

01:04:27.749 --> 01:04:28.154
Two of us.

01:04:28.624 --> 01:04:33.149
They felt so good getting out there
and this other person and me, we looked

01:04:33.149 --> 01:04:34.679
at each other and we said, we made it.

01:04:35.009 --> 01:04:35.849
We made it.

01:04:36.149 --> 01:04:39.429
And when they gave us that diploma,
I was like, wow, you know what?

01:04:39.429 --> 01:04:40.239
Accomplishment.

01:04:40.419 --> 01:04:44.289
And still, I still nothing.

01:04:44.829 --> 01:04:49.869
I was glad I learned, I felt good
about the experiences that I had, the

01:04:49.869 --> 01:04:55.719
lessons that I had learned, the clarity
that I have now in my soul concerning

01:04:55.719 --> 01:04:57.579
the word of God, which way to go.

01:04:58.029 --> 01:05:00.729
I'm not saying that I'm perfect,
that I know everything, but I

01:05:00.729 --> 01:05:05.679
know in enough to have a great
and personal and relationship.

01:05:06.414 --> 01:05:09.204
God, I know that when I pray you hears me.

01:05:09.534 --> 01:05:13.834
I have the faith to believe I have
the type of faith that, to get out.

01:05:13.834 --> 01:05:17.434
I get out of the boat and walk on
water and know to keep my eyes on Jesus

01:05:17.484 --> 01:05:19.254
and not turn my eyes away from me.

01:05:19.254 --> 01:05:21.444
'cause that's how I got hit by faith.

01:05:22.144 --> 01:05:23.824
well, let me interrupt for a second.

01:05:23.824 --> 01:05:30.514
Do you, so you did this four years
of Bible school, of college while

01:05:30.514 --> 01:05:34.684
you were working full time and
had six kids and a wife at home.

01:05:35.344 --> 01:05:36.154
Yes, I did.

01:05:36.154 --> 01:05:40.794
I, I, and that's why, what I mean
about the job I, the beginning,

01:05:41.544 --> 01:05:42.894
I wasn't crazy about it.

01:05:43.079 --> 01:05:47.379
I, in front of the guy that hired me,
when he offered me, how much he's gonna

01:05:47.379 --> 01:05:50.349
pay me, I looked at him and then I
looked to the side and I'm like, holy

01:05:50.349 --> 01:05:54.039
Spirit, I'm not who the, who this guy
think I am, And the guy's looking at me

01:05:54.039 --> 01:05:55.599
like, why is he looking at this ceiling?

01:05:55.599 --> 01:05:56.939
Why is he like mumbling?

01:05:57.419 --> 01:05:59.879
And the Holy Spirit said,
take the job, take the job.

01:06:01.289 --> 01:06:04.389
So I looked at the guy and I said,
okay, I'm gonna take the job.

01:06:04.479 --> 01:06:07.209
He said, you really, he
was surprised, really?

01:06:07.899 --> 01:06:08.709
You wanna take the job?

01:06:08.709 --> 01:06:11.109
I had my own tools, I had the
experience, I had everything.

01:06:11.709 --> 01:06:14.589
And he said, let me give you the address
so you can go take the drug test.

01:06:14.619 --> 01:06:15.339
I said, of course.

01:06:15.849 --> 01:06:17.559
So I had to find my way.

01:06:17.559 --> 01:06:20.469
I took the drug test and
I passed it immediately.

01:06:20.469 --> 01:06:27.069
They sent me to work because God had
planned already that this job, because I

01:06:27.069 --> 01:06:30.699
was gonna go to school, they would have
to gimme the freedom to go to school

01:06:30.939 --> 01:06:35.539
because we had times where, it was
the end of the job and we had to work

01:06:35.929 --> 01:06:39.379
to 12 midnight because we had to end.

01:06:39.709 --> 01:06:42.479
'cause they had a contract and
they had to be, job had to be done.

01:06:42.959 --> 01:06:44.684
But with me it was different.

01:06:45.434 --> 01:06:49.724
Hey, I go to school, so this day I cannot,
you know, so they had to excuse me.

01:06:49.724 --> 01:06:49.814
Mm-hmm.

01:06:50.054 --> 01:06:51.194
You know, they went too crazy about it.

01:06:51.194 --> 01:06:53.014
But this, this was part of it.

01:06:53.674 --> 01:06:56.729
And eventually I worked my way
up the ranks, making the money.

01:06:57.119 --> 01:06:59.254
So, yeah, I went to school.

01:07:00.364 --> 01:07:04.234
A lot of times I would leave
school, go straight to the, to, I

01:07:04.234 --> 01:07:07.834
would leave my job, go straight to
school, I'd be dirty, I'd be hungry.

01:07:08.194 --> 01:07:09.214
I sat in that classroom.

01:07:09.214 --> 01:07:12.694
I always had a little tape recorder
and I'd be staring at the teacher.

01:07:12.694 --> 01:07:16.354
So he probably thought that, man,
this guy really concentrated, focused.

01:07:16.564 --> 01:07:20.134
He didn't know I, I was
sleeping my eyes open.

01:07:21.484 --> 01:07:26.344
So what I would do is when I got out outta
the classroom, on my way home, I turn

01:07:26.344 --> 01:07:28.444
that tape recorder on and I'd be driving.

01:07:28.444 --> 01:07:32.074
Now I can focus and concentrate because
I be driving, but I'll be listening to

01:07:32.284 --> 01:07:34.384
the lesson, the homework and all that.

01:07:34.414 --> 01:07:39.414
And I'm like, wow, I didn't know he talked
about that, And, so I'll go home and.

01:07:40.869 --> 01:07:43.389
Take a shower, sit down
and do my homework.

01:07:43.389 --> 01:07:47.319
Sometimes two, three o'clock in the
morning I'd be typing, reading because

01:07:47.319 --> 01:07:52.039
I had do, all kind of book work and,
had to read a lesson or I had to read a

01:07:52.039 --> 01:07:55.519
book and then write what I read and what
was about and all that kind of stuff.

01:07:55.879 --> 01:07:56.239
Mm-hmm.

01:07:56.629 --> 01:07:58.249
And, so I did that for four years.

01:07:59.179 --> 01:08:00.589
and, but it was a challenge.

01:08:00.589 --> 01:08:03.619
And then I graduated and here's
where the crazy part comes in.

01:08:04.519 --> 01:08:10.744
So before I graduated the church, which
I be, I was part of, for 10 years,

01:08:11.444 --> 01:08:17.074
in Fort Myers called me and, they
told me that, hey, I, we understand

01:08:17.074 --> 01:08:19.494
that you are graduating soon.

01:08:19.974 --> 01:08:20.664
I said, yes.

01:08:20.994 --> 01:08:24.214
He said, well, how about,
coming down here, being staff.

01:08:25.039 --> 01:08:30.599
We're gonna give you salary,
transportation, housing, insurance.

01:08:30.749 --> 01:08:33.689
We're gonna give you, you
know, and you come down here.

01:08:34.139 --> 01:08:35.309
And I said, wow.

01:08:36.089 --> 01:08:39.949
So I said, let me pray
about it and let me fast.

01:08:40.549 --> 01:08:43.939
And the pastor over there
said, oh, okay, no problem.

01:08:44.509 --> 01:08:46.519
So I had not graduated yet.

01:08:46.639 --> 01:08:48.969
So I, started fasting
and praying about it.

01:08:49.719 --> 01:08:52.089
And of course, Sada got
all excited about it.

01:08:52.089 --> 01:08:55.749
The kids got excited because really
we thought we were gonna go back.

01:08:56.109 --> 01:08:57.789
Our harsh were over there.

01:08:58.809 --> 01:09:00.669
We just thought this was temporary.

01:09:00.669 --> 01:09:05.259
This, you know, this, that I came here
for whatever reason, we don't, we didn't

01:09:05.259 --> 01:09:07.389
even know why, but we were gonna go back.

01:09:07.479 --> 01:09:10.509
'cause that's where our hearts,
our family, our friends,

01:09:10.569 --> 01:09:11.679
our church, everything.

01:09:12.639 --> 01:09:15.869
And, after prayer and
fasting, the Lord said no.

01:09:16.649 --> 01:09:17.609
I say, wow.

01:09:17.714 --> 01:09:19.274
I said, all right, go.

01:09:19.994 --> 01:09:23.384
So I went in and then I told
Seth, I said, Seth, guess what?

01:09:23.654 --> 01:09:24.404
The Lord said?

01:09:24.404 --> 01:09:24.674
No.

01:09:24.884 --> 01:09:25.334
What?

01:09:25.334 --> 01:09:26.384
we not gonna go back.

01:09:26.384 --> 01:09:27.704
I said, no, sweetie, I'm sorry.

01:09:27.704 --> 01:09:28.994
The kids were disappointed.

01:09:29.534 --> 01:09:31.004
I was disappointed, to be honest with you.

01:09:32.174 --> 01:09:33.044
So I left it at that.

01:09:33.044 --> 01:09:34.790
I, kept working, kept going to school.

01:09:35.480 --> 01:09:41.240
Then I had a little problem in
my job, and I wasn't working.

01:09:42.020 --> 01:09:43.700
And I just graduated.

01:09:44.420 --> 01:09:49.640
And I get, this is like six months
later, and I get another call from Fort

01:09:49.640 --> 01:09:55.490
Myers, and the pastor says to me, uh,
listen, you have people that really love

01:09:55.490 --> 01:09:59.530
you down here, really appreciate you,
and we had another meeting concerning

01:09:59.530 --> 01:10:02.020
you, and this is what we're gonna do.

01:10:02.020 --> 01:10:02.230
Now.

01:10:03.130 --> 01:10:06.640
This, we are going to give, give
you everything that we offer before.

01:10:07.690 --> 01:10:10.415
Plus now we want to put Sada.

01:10:11.245 --> 01:10:15.755
in our books too, she's gonna be
working, she's gonna be getting a salary.

01:10:15.755 --> 01:10:18.965
And so then in my mind
I said, oh, praise God.

01:10:18.965 --> 01:10:22.475
That's why God said no the first time,
because he wants to bless her too.

01:10:22.625 --> 01:10:22.865
Mm-hmm.

01:10:23.855 --> 01:10:25.595
So, but I didn't say yes right away.

01:10:25.595 --> 01:10:30.125
I said to the pastor, pastor, you know I
gotta pray and I gotta fast this and that.

01:10:30.215 --> 01:10:33.160
So he was funny because he said,
well, here we are because I need you.

01:10:33.520 --> 01:10:33.920
I here.

01:10:34.625 --> 01:10:37.265
I said, okay, alright, whatever.

01:10:37.655 --> 01:10:42.935
So anyway, I went, into prayer again
and fasting and after a while, the Lord

01:10:42.935 --> 01:10:47.605
answered me and said, he said, listen,
I already told you no the first time,

01:10:49.435 --> 01:10:50.875
and you come back the second time.

01:10:51.905 --> 01:10:53.855
what I'm gonna do is I'm
gonna leave it in your hands.

01:10:54.575 --> 01:10:57.248
You decide you can go.

01:10:57.785 --> 01:11:03.635
Back to Fort Myers and you can
have all those goodies, you know,

01:11:04.535 --> 01:11:11.075
salary, you can have the vacation,
uh, retreats, whatever, you know.

01:11:11.105 --> 01:11:13.610
'cause the church, this church
was big and they had a lot, lot

01:11:13.615 --> 01:11:19.475
of, lot of bed plan, sabbatical.

01:11:21.815 --> 01:11:23.015
You can have all those things.

01:11:24.185 --> 01:11:30.515
Belittle of me, or you can roll
up your sleeves and get your hands

01:11:30.515 --> 01:11:33.485
dirty here and have much of me.

01:11:34.025 --> 01:11:34.355
Hmm.

01:11:34.445 --> 01:11:35.195
You decide.

01:11:36.875 --> 01:11:39.545
That's it, man.

01:11:39.545 --> 01:11:46.835
I, uh, it didn't take me much to decide
what to do because my prayer has always

01:11:46.835 --> 01:11:49.505
been, Lord, I want more of you in my life.

01:11:50.255 --> 01:11:50.705
So.

01:11:51.305 --> 01:11:54.365
I went to say, well, I
went, I called the pastor.

01:11:54.365 --> 01:11:56.795
I said, pastor, I wanted,
first of all, thank you.

01:11:56.795 --> 01:12:02.135
And, and all those who were at the
meeting who think so highly of me

01:12:02.135 --> 01:12:04.265
tell 'em that I really appreciate it.

01:12:04.325 --> 01:12:06.695
I don't know who they are,
but tell 'em that I love 'em.

01:12:07.085 --> 01:12:08.015
I appreciate it.

01:12:08.555 --> 01:12:12.575
And I, I don't have no words
how to explain it, but I'm

01:12:12.575 --> 01:12:13.655
so grateful to you guys.

01:12:13.655 --> 01:12:20.130
But I can't, God spoke to my heart and
he has told me that I have to stay here.

01:12:20.370 --> 01:12:21.780
I don't even know the reason why.

01:12:24.150 --> 01:12:27.730
He said, wow, Carlos, I'm sorry to
hear that, thank you, this and that.

01:12:27.730 --> 01:12:29.590
So I go tell them.

01:12:29.800 --> 01:12:32.780
So anyway, my wife wasn't too happy.

01:12:32.780 --> 01:12:33.920
My kids weren't too happy.

01:12:33.980 --> 01:12:35.310
And, so no problem.

01:12:36.660 --> 01:12:39.310
So we let that, go and, we stay here.

01:12:40.030 --> 01:12:43.855
So then I, Working at the
pilot's house where I belong now.

01:12:44.815 --> 01:12:51.020
And one day the pastor calls me to his
office and I'm wondering, what's going on?

01:12:51.020 --> 01:12:52.460
Did I do something or whatever?

01:12:52.460 --> 01:12:55.280
Because I, like I told you, I
was working around the building,

01:12:55.330 --> 01:12:56.650
fixing and doing whatever.

01:12:57.550 --> 01:13:01.500
So it was a interesting conversation
because he asked me, Carlos, how do

01:13:01.500 --> 01:13:03.780
you see yourself in the ministry?

01:13:04.860 --> 01:13:07.950
Because up to this moment I was
involved in, prison ministry.

01:13:07.950 --> 01:13:13.670
I was a, five years visiting, a start
where they had the maximum security.

01:13:14.180 --> 01:13:16.820
And that was like, oh, I love doing that.

01:13:16.820 --> 01:13:22.420
You know, I was, not preaching,
just talking to, inmates, you know,

01:13:22.570 --> 01:13:27.730
guys doing double live, doing one,
live, doing 65 years, 45 years.

01:13:28.540 --> 01:13:33.400
But God's grace and favorable, was upon
my life in such a way, is anointing that

01:13:33.400 --> 01:13:38.740
these people appreciated me going in there
and just listening to them, listening

01:13:38.740 --> 01:13:40.660
to their, their needs and whatever.

01:13:40.660 --> 01:13:45.640
And I was able to relay, because a lot
of them had gone through the same thing

01:13:45.640 --> 01:13:47.845
that I lived, that had been rejected.

01:13:47.845 --> 01:13:51.385
They had been abused, and that's
why they became who they became.

01:13:51.435 --> 01:13:56.645
and I used to tell them, don't let
my suit jacket or my suit or my tie,

01:13:56.675 --> 01:14:00.165
you know, don't let my, the way I'm
dressed fool you, because it's only

01:14:00.165 --> 01:14:03.195
by the grace of God I wasn't on the
other side of those bars, you know?

01:14:03.200 --> 01:14:05.275
And I, and I guess they saw my sincerity.

01:14:05.605 --> 01:14:07.305
They saw that, I cry with them.

01:14:07.365 --> 01:14:10.605
You're talking about these guys,
man, you know, murderers and I cry

01:14:10.605 --> 01:14:14.725
with them, you know, so that ministry
was beautiful and I loved it.

01:14:15.625 --> 01:14:17.965
I had a passion, great passion for it.

01:14:18.565 --> 01:14:21.685
and I didn't realize how that
guy was using me in there.

01:14:22.045 --> 01:14:25.355
I didn't realize that everything
that I had gone through up to, now,

01:14:25.355 --> 01:14:30.635
God was using his glory and honor
to help somebody else that I can.

01:14:31.550 --> 01:14:34.220
Look at that man's eyes
and say, I understand.

01:14:34.220 --> 01:14:38.240
I feel your pain because I was abused,
or I was mistreated by my stepfather.

01:14:38.420 --> 01:14:39.920
I was abandoned by my mother.

01:14:40.100 --> 01:14:41.870
I was in this and that relationship.

01:14:41.870 --> 01:14:45.830
And and so they, they understood
when I, when they talked, they knew.

01:14:46.160 --> 01:14:48.870
And when I talked, they knew,
we could bond, you know?

01:14:48.875 --> 01:14:49.055
Mm-hmm.

01:14:49.200 --> 01:14:50.190
So that was great.

01:14:50.400 --> 01:14:54.570
So anyway, getting back to talking
to my pastor, I'm in his office.

01:14:54.810 --> 01:14:57.300
I'm standing, he's sitting, he's
looking at me and he say, how do

01:14:57.300 --> 01:14:58.890
you see yourself in the ministry?

01:14:59.280 --> 01:15:04.320
And I said, well, you know, um,
wherever somebody needs me for

01:15:04.320 --> 01:15:06.750
that, I can share my testimony.

01:15:06.750 --> 01:15:12.830
You know, or God can take a drunk and, or
a drug addict or whatever, and transform

01:15:12.830 --> 01:15:16.500
his life, and I can help in some kind
of way with, that's how I see myself.

01:15:16.770 --> 01:15:18.360
So he's standing there.

01:15:18.410 --> 01:15:22.040
he's sitting there looking, but he
is looking through me and he says

01:15:22.040 --> 01:15:23.570
to me, Carlos, you know what I see?

01:15:24.230 --> 01:15:25.070
I see.

01:15:25.250 --> 01:15:26.060
So I say, what?

01:15:26.180 --> 01:15:30.290
He said, I see you
preaching to many nations.

01:15:32.120 --> 01:15:35.705
And I, in my head, I, I'm thinking,
I said, I don't preaching.

01:15:35.705 --> 01:15:35.945
Yeah.

01:15:36.395 --> 01:15:41.625
You gotta understand that up to this
point now, I've been, saved, I've been

01:15:41.625 --> 01:15:44.955
serving for about 15 years in the church.

01:15:45.225 --> 01:15:47.025
I had never been to Spanish service.

01:15:49.035 --> 01:15:51.215
Spanish churches was not my cup of tea.

01:15:52.835 --> 01:15:56.045
So when he said that, I
said, well, who knows?

01:15:56.075 --> 01:15:56.435
You know?

01:15:56.765 --> 01:16:01.560
But then when he said, I see you
preaching to many nations in Spanish.

01:16:02.205 --> 01:16:04.335
That's when I said, oh
man, this guy glory.

01:16:04.635 --> 01:16:08.745
My confidence in him just
dropped at me like a hot potato.

01:16:09.075 --> 01:16:12.345
I said, oh man, I was looking
up to the sky so much.

01:16:12.345 --> 01:16:13.995
I thought he was, a prophet.

01:16:13.995 --> 01:16:16.635
I thought this guy, because he
did a lot of things before that

01:16:16.635 --> 01:16:18.185
moment that's why I was there.

01:16:18.185 --> 01:16:18.305
Yeah.

01:16:18.305 --> 01:16:19.865
I saw the glory of God.

01:16:19.865 --> 01:16:26.345
I saw how God spoke to me through him, but
this time I said, nah, he blew this one.

01:16:27.280 --> 01:16:28.180
he struck out.

01:16:28.450 --> 01:16:29.710
He struck out big time.

01:16:30.040 --> 01:16:30.850
So I just looked at him.

01:16:30.850 --> 01:16:33.190
I didn't say nothing, and he
just said that, that's all.

01:16:33.760 --> 01:16:37.360
And then we talked about whatever
I had to do, but that's, that stuck

01:16:37.360 --> 01:16:39.580
with me and I was disappointed.

01:16:39.580 --> 01:16:41.925
I came home and I said, man, I
told, I said, man, you know what

01:16:42.705 --> 01:16:44.625
our pastor said, you know what?

01:16:44.625 --> 01:16:47.055
And I told her, because
we didn't speak Spanish.

01:16:47.085 --> 01:16:48.615
My Spanish, forget it.

01:16:48.620 --> 01:16:51.735
It was street Spanish, and in
the house we don't speak Spanish.

01:16:52.110 --> 01:16:55.530
Or we do mix it with Spanish
and English, but mostly English.

01:16:56.280 --> 01:17:02.520
so, all right, so to my amazement,
about seven, eight months later, I

01:17:02.550 --> 01:17:04.710
preached my first Spanish message.

01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:09.530
I graduated from, college.

01:17:09.560 --> 01:17:10.850
I got my bachelor's degree.

01:17:11.420 --> 01:17:17.690
I came to, Amelia Island because there
were no Spanish churches here in Adeena.

01:17:18.380 --> 01:17:23.150
because somebody asked if the
church that I belonged to, they

01:17:23.150 --> 01:17:24.590
could send a Spanish pastor.

01:17:25.470 --> 01:17:30.000
and the, and my pastor sent me
to look to, to scout the area.

01:17:30.090 --> 01:17:31.590
And sure enough, there was not one.

01:17:32.280 --> 01:17:36.510
So I went back and I told him
about it, and he had two pastors.

01:17:36.720 --> 01:17:38.430
One was from Venezuela.

01:17:38.775 --> 01:17:44.325
And he had one from New York that held s
services there, which I had never been to.

01:17:44.325 --> 01:17:47.085
They asked me several times and
I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:47.145 --> 01:17:52.125
But I never went to, so I told the,
my pastor, I said, listen, yeah,

01:17:52.125 --> 01:17:54.615
there's no Spanish church, Jose.

01:17:54.975 --> 01:17:56.395
Oh, the other, the other pastor.

01:17:56.995 --> 01:17:58.315
And he said, no, I saying you.

01:17:59.515 --> 01:18:01.645
I said, Nope, no can do.

01:18:02.245 --> 01:18:03.145
I told him straight up.

01:18:03.385 --> 01:18:04.915
I said, nah, I can't go.

01:18:05.245 --> 01:18:06.495
And he said, why?

01:18:07.215 --> 01:18:09.585
And I said, well, there's several reasons.

01:18:10.185 --> 01:18:14.145
He said, well, I said, number
one, I don't speak Spanish.

01:18:14.685 --> 01:18:16.485
He say, ain't you a Puerto Rican?

01:18:17.055 --> 01:18:22.760
I say, I sure am a hundred percent, but
I don't, you know, my Spanish is not a

01:18:22.760 --> 01:18:26.300
Spanish that I can use behind a pule.

01:18:27.565 --> 01:18:30.985
And, and I've never been to Spanish
churches, so that's not my cup of tea.

01:18:31.765 --> 01:18:37.285
So he said, well, you're going, uh,
I'm gonna give you a dictionary.

01:18:38.515 --> 01:18:41.545
I have it up there somewhere,
Uhhuh, I'm gonna give you a

01:18:41.725 --> 01:18:44.305
translator two, translator three.

01:18:44.365 --> 01:18:46.375
I have it in my somewhere.

01:18:47.035 --> 01:18:51.145
And you had the most important
tool, which is your Bible.

01:18:51.655 --> 01:18:52.435
So you going?

01:18:53.695 --> 01:18:54.655
I said, wow.

01:18:55.765 --> 01:19:03.415
So anyway, seven month later, I
preached my first Spanish service.

01:19:04.825 --> 01:19:11.095
I preached my first Spanish message at
the church to a small group of people.

01:19:11.425 --> 01:19:15.855
And I had like an out experience
because I was standing behind myself.

01:19:16.230 --> 01:19:23.670
Watching myself preach, which I didn't
know what I was saying in Spanish, and I'm

01:19:23.670 --> 01:19:26.010
saying to myself, oh my God, look at me.

01:19:26.010 --> 01:19:28.530
I am preaching in Spanish.

01:19:29.670 --> 01:19:32.120
But, that was one of the
experience that blew my mind.

01:19:32.810 --> 01:19:37.400
And then of course, I came over here to
the island and I started meeting people.

01:19:37.770 --> 01:19:41.220
the Hope House was a place
that they allowed me to use.

01:19:41.400 --> 01:19:46.140
People used to go to the Hope House to
get clothes, get food, and there I would

01:19:46.140 --> 01:19:49.230
meet Spanish people and I would talk to
them and try to find out their needs.

01:19:49.230 --> 01:19:53.610
And I started helping them, taking them
to doctors, paying for the doctor's visit,

01:19:53.850 --> 01:19:57.910
paying for the medication, taking them
when they had to go to court, translating

01:19:57.910 --> 01:20:01.150
for them when they had to go to the
hospitals, translating for them and

01:20:01.150 --> 01:20:02.830
doing whatever, you know, to help 'em.

01:20:03.400 --> 01:20:06.190
And they started calling me Pastor,
and I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

01:20:06.220 --> 01:20:06.670
Back off.

01:20:06.730 --> 01:20:07.510
Oh, hold.

01:20:07.900 --> 01:20:09.220
You know, I not, no pastor.

01:20:09.470 --> 01:20:13.460
you can call me Carlos, and
they're like, no, brother.

01:20:13.460 --> 01:20:15.380
I said, yeah, call me brother,
but don't call me pastor.

01:20:16.070 --> 01:20:24.310
So then I re, I go back to my pastor and
I go to see him and, I walk to his office.

01:20:24.310 --> 01:20:25.180
He is cracking up.

01:20:25.240 --> 01:20:26.740
He's laughing and laughing.

01:20:26.740 --> 01:20:28.450
I'm like, what is wrong with him?

01:20:28.990 --> 01:20:32.380
And without me opening my mouth,
he says, I know why you here.

01:20:34.090 --> 01:20:35.410
I said, why am I here?

01:20:35.590 --> 01:20:38.130
I said, you here because you are
under conviction because over

01:20:38.130 --> 01:20:39.240
there they calling you pastor.

01:20:40.590 --> 01:20:42.060
I mean, I froze.

01:20:42.180 --> 01:20:44.280
I looked at him and I froze.

01:20:45.660 --> 01:20:46.380
I said, what?

01:20:47.115 --> 01:20:49.860
He said, you are under conviction
because they calling you pastor and

01:20:49.860 --> 01:20:51.450
you're not, and you're not a pastor.

01:20:52.200 --> 01:20:53.160
Am I right or wrong?

01:20:53.485 --> 01:20:55.835
I couldn't even answer that, he said.

01:20:55.835 --> 01:20:59.920
But anyway, I already in my calendar,
I got a, I have a, I have your name and

01:20:59.920 --> 01:21:02.800
I have it set up where we gonna have a.

01:21:03.730 --> 01:21:08.770
A Presbyterian meeting where all these
bishops and all these big people are

01:21:08.770 --> 01:21:13.610
gonna come because they all the, men
and women who are requesting they wanna

01:21:13.610 --> 01:21:16.140
be, licensed and ordained and all that.

01:21:16.140 --> 01:21:18.600
And I got your name on
day, so you such a day.

01:21:18.930 --> 01:21:20.640
I'm like, alright.

01:21:21.240 --> 01:21:23.760
So, uh, went to the meeting.

01:21:24.450 --> 01:21:27.480
It was something that,
it was out of this world.

01:21:27.480 --> 01:21:32.580
You walked into that room and you know,
you was walking into a holy sanctified.

01:21:33.300 --> 01:21:35.040
I mean, it was incredible.

01:21:35.850 --> 01:21:35.910
Yeah.

01:21:35.910 --> 01:21:42.810
I walked in there long table, all these
bishops from different denominations and

01:21:43.680 --> 01:21:46.950
I mean, the anointing and the presence
of the Holy Spirit was so powerful

01:21:46.950 --> 01:21:53.370
that she just, so I went and sat to
my place where I was supposed to sit.

01:21:53.850 --> 01:21:57.920
So they started going around asking
each pastor, they would like.

01:21:58.925 --> 01:22:03.125
20, 30 minutes asking personal
questions about their marriage,

01:22:03.125 --> 01:22:08.015
their family, finances, you name
it, relationships in the church.

01:22:08.345 --> 01:22:10.795
And I was like, oh my God.

01:22:10.945 --> 01:22:15.925
So some of them were turned
down like, you don't belong, you

01:22:15.925 --> 01:22:17.155
shouldn't even have a church.

01:22:17.935 --> 01:22:18.115
Yeah.

01:22:18.115 --> 01:22:20.360
they, I'm gonna tell you, they
were not holding nothing back.

01:22:20.360 --> 01:22:20.375
Nothing back.

01:22:21.595 --> 01:22:23.635
They were like, boom, to the point.

01:22:24.725 --> 01:22:28.415
they had, I remember one that she
was a female and she was going all

01:22:28.415 --> 01:22:30.635
over, evangelizing and this and that.

01:22:30.635 --> 01:22:36.955
and so one of the, bishops asked her, you
be telling her that you do this revivals

01:22:36.955 --> 01:22:40.375
and you go here and you go there and
now that now you wanna build a church

01:22:40.375 --> 01:22:42.505
because it's a big following, in all this.

01:22:42.505 --> 01:22:43.165
Where's your husband?

01:22:43.825 --> 01:22:44.215
Oh no.

01:22:44.215 --> 01:22:44.905
I go with elder.

01:22:44.910 --> 01:22:46.945
So and so what's your relationship
between you and elder?

01:22:47.325 --> 01:22:48.985
So and do you sleep in the same bed?

01:22:48.985 --> 01:22:50.005
Do you stay in the same room?

01:22:50.530 --> 01:22:51.310
Oh my God.

01:22:51.310 --> 01:22:56.440
When I heard that, I said, oh Jesus,
this guy gonna cut me up in pieces.

01:22:56.440 --> 01:22:57.070
You know what I mean?

01:22:57.250 --> 01:23:01.030
Which I don't have nothing to hide, but
man, that's how it's intense was Yeah,

01:23:01.360 --> 01:23:03.700
because this guy's going to ordain you.

01:23:04.210 --> 01:23:08.680
They gonna license you, their
name's gonna be in that certificate.

01:23:10.643 --> 01:23:16.973
So, uh, after they, they went around the
table and they came up to me, I'm shaking.

01:23:17.033 --> 01:23:19.403
I'm like, God, holy Spirit help me.

01:23:20.333 --> 01:23:23.093
My pastor gets up and he
said, this is Carlos Serrano.

01:23:23.093 --> 01:23:29.383
And, he left everything that he
had in Fort Myers to come here.

01:23:29.803 --> 01:23:31.213
He's been serving here.

01:23:31.783 --> 01:23:33.973
He, he's part of the prison ministry.

01:23:34.353 --> 01:23:35.968
and I mean, he just went on and on and on.

01:23:36.633 --> 01:23:38.913
And, when he finished he
said, any questions for him?

01:23:39.468 --> 01:23:43.248
Nobody, not one person
asked or said anything.

01:23:44.058 --> 01:23:46.213
I said, praise almighty.

01:23:46.213 --> 01:23:47.388
Praise that almighty.

01:23:47.718 --> 01:23:52.738
So anyway, I, in front of about, I
would say 5,000 people, I was, ordained.

01:23:52.768 --> 01:23:57.328
They, had this big ceremony and
couple of the other pastors, I

01:23:57.328 --> 01:24:03.678
and my pastor took a chart of, uh,
oil and just poured over my head.

01:24:04.128 --> 01:24:08.838
And all those other pastors, they put
their hands on, on, on me, and they pray.

01:24:09.348 --> 01:24:15.288
It was something that I can't explain
it because when I, when, I don't know, I

01:24:15.288 --> 01:24:16.938
can't explain the Gloria, God was there.

01:24:17.928 --> 01:24:22.398
And when that ceremony was over,
then my pastor licensed me.

01:24:22.998 --> 01:24:28.658
And before I knew it,
here I was in, Ferna.

01:24:28.658 --> 01:24:30.783
Since I've been here since, 2002.

01:24:31.718 --> 01:24:37.328
as a pastor of the Promised Land
Church, helping people, the people

01:24:37.328 --> 01:24:40.778
that I minister to, they're the
ones that taught me Spanish.

01:24:40.778 --> 01:24:46.193
I have people from Colombia,
Venezuela, Puerto Rico, Cuba, El

01:24:46.193 --> 01:24:48.428
Salvador, Mexico, you name it.

01:24:48.818 --> 01:24:53.708
So I have to kind of mix their
Spanish because some words may

01:24:53.708 --> 01:24:58.068
be offensive to, I, to me may not
be offensive, but to them may be.

01:24:58.073 --> 01:24:58.453
Mm-hmm.

01:24:58.533 --> 01:25:00.618
And so it's, it's, it's, it's crazy.

01:25:00.978 --> 01:25:06.248
But what I'm trying to say, Jesse,
is that, I know it sound like

01:25:06.248 --> 01:25:09.458
cliche, but we have to learn to
let go and let God trust God.

01:25:09.728 --> 01:25:10.058
You know?

01:25:10.058 --> 01:25:13.238
Oh, I didn't know that at the beginning.

01:25:13.238 --> 01:25:16.838
I didn't know that faith was,
was a gift for the Holy Spirit.

01:25:17.318 --> 01:25:17.768
Mm-hmm.

01:25:18.308 --> 01:25:22.238
Uh, like I said, a lot of people,
everybody told me that I was

01:25:22.238 --> 01:25:26.078
crazy when I left everything
over there to come over here.

01:25:27.728 --> 01:25:31.628
And what kept me going was
like, I kept saying to myself,

01:25:31.628 --> 01:25:32.798
God, you don't make mistakes.

01:25:32.798 --> 01:25:37.088
And I know that you spoke to me to
let go and let you handle everything.

01:25:37.928 --> 01:25:39.218
And now, here it is.

01:25:39.318 --> 01:25:41.568
yes, I have a church building.

01:25:42.588 --> 01:25:44.628
Yes, I have a comfortable home.

01:25:45.228 --> 01:25:46.758
Yes, I have transportation.

01:25:47.898 --> 01:25:49.368
Yes, I don't like for nothing.

01:25:50.118 --> 01:25:54.588
But that's not, it is a blessing,
but that's not the real blessing.

01:25:55.158 --> 01:25:58.728
The real blessing in my life is the
relationship that I have with God.

01:25:58.733 --> 01:25:58.903
Mm-hmm.

01:25:59.358 --> 01:26:02.028
Because what I know and what
I have learned, I didn't

01:26:02.028 --> 01:26:03.228
learn it in the classroom.

01:26:03.408 --> 01:26:04.128
I learned it.

01:26:04.128 --> 01:26:05.628
I experienced, yeah.

01:26:05.718 --> 01:26:10.668
What I had going through, definitely
my family death of my father was one of

01:26:10.668 --> 01:26:15.978
the biggest trials in my life where a
lot of people who served God had left.

01:26:17.013 --> 01:26:23.568
Stop following Jesus because somebody
in their life, a father or mother or

01:26:23.568 --> 01:26:26.423
a wife or a husband or a child, die.

01:26:26.903 --> 01:26:28.463
And then you blame God for it.

01:26:28.463 --> 01:26:30.093
You say, oh God, why you allow this?

01:26:30.463 --> 01:26:32.863
I love you and I serve you
and I've been faithful to you.

01:26:32.863 --> 01:26:35.303
But yeah, you allow this, to happen.

01:26:36.183 --> 01:26:40.983
and we have to understand that, you
know, in my prayer and every day that I

01:26:40.983 --> 01:26:46.323
pray, I always end my prayer with God or
we will be done, whatever that may be.

01:26:46.623 --> 01:26:51.843
And I also ask God to gimme the grace and
the strength to face and deal and accept

01:26:51.843 --> 01:26:54.523
whatever his will, for our lives is.

01:26:54.913 --> 01:26:59.173
'cause we don't know, you've seen,
especially with my wife's health, seems

01:26:59.173 --> 01:27:01.333
like something constantly happening.

01:27:01.648 --> 01:27:06.208
Um, the last time she looked like she
was having a heart attack and when

01:27:06.208 --> 01:27:10.688
she called me and say, pray for me, of
course, in our hearts we pray for healing.

01:27:10.988 --> 01:27:14.288
That's the first thing that come, well,
you know, you know, I pray God heal my,

01:27:14.688 --> 01:27:16.548
my wife Lord, this, that and the other.

01:27:17.058 --> 01:27:18.978
But then I had to say,
God, let your will be done.

01:27:19.248 --> 01:27:21.798
I didn't know what was gonna happen
between here and the hospital.

01:27:22.458 --> 01:27:24.228
I didn't know whether she
was gonna make it or not.

01:27:24.478 --> 01:27:30.568
I didn't know nothing, but I surrender her
in his hands and hope for the very best.

01:27:30.568 --> 01:27:37.068
And God, he can see our hearts, he can see
our faith, and, and He's, you know, he's

01:27:37.068 --> 01:27:40.248
gonna give us the greatest strength that
we need to endure when it comes our way.

01:27:40.818 --> 01:27:40.908
Yeah.

01:27:41.388 --> 01:27:42.798
So I'm so grateful.

01:27:43.138 --> 01:27:46.828
I never, never wanted,
or never asked for, I.

01:27:47.393 --> 01:27:48.353
to be a pastor.

01:27:48.443 --> 01:27:52.943
I've been a pastor now for 23 years, but
I have been serving God for 38 years.

01:27:53.543 --> 01:27:57.953
And when I gave my life to him
in 1987, I remember those words.

01:27:57.953 --> 01:28:02.813
I say, God, I don't know if you can
use somebody like me, but here am I.

01:28:03.443 --> 01:28:08.093
And it has been a process ever since, and
always be a process because there always

01:28:08.213 --> 01:28:13.233
room to grow, to learn, And the closer you
get to God, you're gonna realize that he's

01:28:13.233 --> 01:28:16.773
much bigger than what you think, because
he gives you illumination, he gives you

01:28:16.773 --> 01:28:23.013
understanding, he allows you to see more
and more, and, you, and you get to see

01:28:23.133 --> 01:28:25.173
how big he is and how little you are.

01:28:25.233 --> 01:28:25.923
Mm-hmm.

01:28:26.163 --> 01:28:30.393
Um, but the, I think the hardest
part that we deal with is

01:28:30.398 --> 01:28:34.388
that trust, you know, bringing
something to the feet of Jesus, I.

01:28:34.928 --> 01:28:35.978
And leaving it there.

01:28:36.248 --> 01:28:40.378
Most of us, we go to an altar or
whatever and we say, God, here it is.

01:28:40.588 --> 01:28:42.458
Here's this, whatever it may be.

01:28:42.758 --> 01:28:46.118
But then when we get up and walk
away, we drag that thing again

01:28:46.118 --> 01:28:50.768
with us, and we find ourselves
in the same spot, same situation.

01:28:50.768 --> 01:28:52.238
And the devil is loving it.

01:28:52.403 --> 01:28:52.693
Yeah.

01:28:52.783 --> 01:28:53.493
he's loving it.

01:28:54.033 --> 01:28:54.633
He's loving.

01:28:55.053 --> 01:28:57.963
But when we take it to Christ and
leave it there, walk away, and

01:28:57.963 --> 01:28:59.553
I know that was gonna come over.

01:28:59.553 --> 01:29:00.603
What kind of person are you?

01:29:00.783 --> 01:29:01.653
Don't you care?

01:29:01.773 --> 01:29:02.733
Don't you worry?

01:29:02.883 --> 01:29:03.753
Oh my God.

01:29:03.753 --> 01:29:04.203
You know what I mean?

01:29:04.383 --> 01:29:05.283
But wait a minute, hold it.

01:29:05.283 --> 01:29:08.793
If I gave it, if I gave it to Jesus,
then why am I worrying about it?

01:29:08.843 --> 01:29:11.183
We, oh, we have to do is wait.

01:29:11.573 --> 01:29:13.943
And that's the problem that we don't wait.

01:29:14.363 --> 01:29:19.788
We anxious, we want God to answer our
prayers or, our needs immediately there.

01:29:19.788 --> 01:29:21.888
There's still things that I'm waiting
for that I've been praying for a

01:29:21.888 --> 01:29:25.128
long time, but I know God is gonna
do it in his time, not my time.

01:29:25.638 --> 01:29:25.908
Yeah.

01:29:26.825 --> 01:29:30.701
Well, I was gonna,  ask you if you
had any advice, but I think you just

01:29:30.701 --> 01:29:35.181
gave it, when you turn something over
to God, leave it there, you know,

01:29:35.231 --> 01:29:36.701
you want to add anything to that?

01:29:36.751 --> 01:29:40.686
I, the reason why I said that, and if
we got a couple minutes, the reason

01:29:40.686 --> 01:29:43.646
why I say that, 'cause I learned
that a long time ago when my oldest

01:29:43.646 --> 01:29:49.296
daughter, she left to go to school,
never showed up the school call.

01:29:49.866 --> 01:29:53.166
And from nine o'clock in the
morning to 10 o'clock at night.

01:29:53.766 --> 01:29:54.756
I was going crazy.

01:29:54.786 --> 01:29:59.406
We had the sheriff, we had helicopters,
we had everybody looking for her.

01:30:00.156 --> 01:30:03.756
Somebody had said that they had seen
a white van early in the morning,

01:30:03.806 --> 01:30:05.006
driving around the neighborhood.

01:30:05.606 --> 01:30:06.476
So we were scared.

01:30:06.531 --> 01:30:10.311
we were afraid that somebody maybe
had kidnapped her or whatever.

01:30:10.311 --> 01:30:10.761
We didn't know.

01:30:11.451 --> 01:30:16.281
But all day long I was praying,
Lord, I put this matter in your hand.

01:30:16.371 --> 01:30:17.631
Protect my daughter Lord.

01:30:17.811 --> 01:30:21.561
You know, I mean, you just kept praying
and praying and, but every time I would

01:30:21.561 --> 01:30:25.371
say, surrender this to you, I would pick
up the phone and make another phone call.

01:30:25.521 --> 01:30:28.161
I would go to somebody's house
and knock on another door.

01:30:28.341 --> 01:30:31.371
And I mean, this went on from nine o'clock
in the morning to 10 o'clock at night.

01:30:32.091 --> 01:30:33.051
At 10 o'clock at night.

01:30:33.051 --> 01:30:35.691
I'm sitting on my back
porch and I'm praying again.

01:30:36.711 --> 01:30:41.451
And the Holy Spirit said to me, you
know, all day long, all day long, you

01:30:41.451 --> 01:30:43.461
be saying, I surrendered this to you.

01:30:43.761 --> 01:30:44.961
I turned this over to you.

01:30:45.201 --> 01:30:46.611
You ain't calling Trump.

01:30:47.106 --> 01:30:50.766
But then you go and run around and
go knock on more door, this and that.

01:30:50.826 --> 01:30:52.206
So where's the trust?

01:30:52.266 --> 01:30:52.986
Where's their belief?

01:30:53.016 --> 01:30:53.796
Where's their faith?

01:30:55.446 --> 01:30:56.496
Are you gonna surrender away?

01:30:56.496 --> 01:30:58.056
And I said, oh my God.

01:30:58.386 --> 01:31:01.026
So right then, and then
I realized my mistake.

01:31:01.416 --> 01:31:04.326
It wasn't God that got, God
doesn't have the power or

01:31:04.326 --> 01:31:05.736
that he didn't hear my prayer.

01:31:06.006 --> 01:31:06.666
It was me.

01:31:06.906 --> 01:31:07.596
It wasn't God.

01:31:07.596 --> 01:31:08.376
It was me.

01:31:08.916 --> 01:31:10.716
So right there, I asked God to forgive me.

01:31:11.466 --> 01:31:15.156
I said, Lord, sorry,
now it's in your hands.

01:31:15.636 --> 01:31:16.266
Whatever.

01:31:16.296 --> 01:31:16.656
Whatever.

01:31:18.096 --> 01:31:19.296
I got out from my back porch.

01:31:19.296 --> 01:31:20.286
I went inside the house.

01:31:20.496 --> 01:31:21.876
I still had my work clothes on.

01:31:21.876 --> 01:31:25.006
I started taking my work
boots off my wife went crazy.

01:31:25.006 --> 01:31:27.286
First of all, whatcha doing?

01:31:27.736 --> 01:31:28.906
I mean, she wasn't ballistic.

01:31:28.936 --> 01:31:29.506
Whatcha are doing?

01:31:29.506 --> 01:31:31.006
So I'm going to bed tired.

01:31:31.546 --> 01:31:32.686
No, you can't go to bed.

01:31:32.686 --> 01:31:33.886
You, how you gonna go to bed?

01:31:33.886 --> 01:31:34.786
We don't know where she's at.

01:31:34.816 --> 01:31:35.806
We don't know if she's alive.

01:31:36.446 --> 01:31:38.966
I said I understand, but I had it.

01:31:38.966 --> 01:31:39.566
I'm tired.

01:31:40.376 --> 01:31:41.606
I got to take a one book.

01:31:41.636 --> 01:31:44.366
When the phone rang, say hello.

01:31:45.056 --> 01:31:47.306
She was my daughter, dad is me.

01:31:48.236 --> 01:31:48.356
Really?

01:31:48.356 --> 01:31:49.286
I said, are you okay?

01:31:49.976 --> 01:31:50.726
Said I'm fine.

01:31:51.116 --> 01:31:51.806
Where you at?

01:31:51.806 --> 01:31:56.306
At Friend's house said, oh, what happened?

01:31:56.306 --> 01:31:58.166
She left the house.

01:31:58.166 --> 01:31:59.606
She left to go to school.

01:31:59.606 --> 01:32:04.286
She got together with a couple
little friend of hers who the parents

01:32:04.736 --> 01:32:08.876
didn't care, you know, what their
daughters were doing 'cause they

01:32:08.876 --> 01:32:10.766
were too busy doing other things.

01:32:11.126 --> 01:32:14.186
So she went from our house.

01:32:14.186 --> 01:32:17.126
Instead of catching the bus to go to
school, she went to the mall, she went

01:32:17.126 --> 01:32:20.366
to the movies, she went this, she went
there all day, had a great time, but she

01:32:20.366 --> 01:32:23.186
forgot what you gonna, what you got dark?

01:32:23.546 --> 01:32:26.606
The girls that she was hanging
with, she said, I gotta go home.

01:32:26.966 --> 01:32:27.566
What you going to do?

01:32:28.226 --> 01:32:31.966
So now she came to realize
whoa, I gotta go home too.

01:32:33.526 --> 01:32:36.496
And she realized that when she got
home, I was gonna be waiting for her.

01:32:36.496 --> 01:32:36.526
Oh.

01:32:38.146 --> 01:32:40.066
She realized that
something was gonna happen.

01:32:41.071 --> 01:32:45.001
So anyway, to make a, make a long story
short, she came home, she was fine.

01:32:45.001 --> 01:32:46.531
Nothing bad happened to her.

01:32:46.831 --> 01:32:52.086
She was just, hanging with a little
group bad influence because they had,

01:32:52.086 --> 01:32:56.926
their parents didn't had, no, they were,
those girls were doing just crazy stuff

01:32:56.926 --> 01:33:02.176
by the praise God that, my daughter,
after we had a little time together

01:33:02.176 --> 01:33:07.966
after she came home, she separated
herself from that kind of bad influence.

01:33:08.326 --> 01:33:12.681
But yeah, we gotta learn to trust
God and, and I think be, we need

01:33:12.681 --> 01:33:13.791
to be honest with ourselves.

01:33:13.791 --> 01:33:18.711
Look, search ourselves, examine ourselves,
and whatever weakness we have to look

01:33:18.711 --> 01:33:23.901
at them and confess 'em to God and
help God and ask God to help us with

01:33:23.901 --> 01:33:25.756
our weaknesses, whatever that may be.

01:33:26.256 --> 01:33:27.936
Of course we, it is a two-way street.

01:33:28.026 --> 01:33:32.661
We cannot ask God to, you know,
cleanse you or do this or do that

01:33:32.661 --> 01:33:35.241
for you if you don't do something.

01:33:35.241 --> 01:33:40.311
Also, you cannot sit back in your sofa,
comfortable with your arms crossed and

01:33:40.311 --> 01:33:42.321
say, okay, God, do this in my life.

01:33:42.771 --> 01:33:45.561
because here, I've been
saved for, what, 38 years?

01:33:45.561 --> 01:33:46.251
39 years.

01:33:46.791 --> 01:33:52.971
I'm still being tempted in many ways,
but through the years, every time a

01:33:52.971 --> 01:33:56.721
temptation came because the devil, he's,
you know, he don't have no new tricks.

01:33:56.721 --> 01:33:58.341
He just the same old junk.

01:33:58.731 --> 01:34:03.441
So, um, through the years,
every weak point that I had

01:34:03.441 --> 01:34:05.421
in my life, I focus on that.

01:34:05.751 --> 01:34:10.321
I pray and I faster I pray, and I faster
until I conquer that through the power

01:34:10.321 --> 01:34:11.881
of the Holy Spirit, not my own power.

01:34:12.451 --> 01:34:15.386
Because you know we are gonna mess
up, you know, so through the powder

01:34:15.386 --> 01:34:18.266
Holy Spirit, I was able to conquer
that and then move to the next one.

01:34:18.716 --> 01:34:22.036
And which when you move to the
next one, then the demons that

01:34:22.036 --> 01:34:23.326
come against you are bigger.

01:34:24.491 --> 01:34:28.591
So then you focus on that one and to
the powder Holy Spirit, you defeat

01:34:28.621 --> 01:34:30.541
that and then you move to the next one.

01:34:30.541 --> 01:34:32.341
So that's why I say it's a process.

01:34:32.441 --> 01:34:35.721
Nowadays, now the devil doesn't
take me with cigarettes,

01:34:36.061 --> 01:34:37.081
he is be wasting his time.

01:34:37.261 --> 01:34:39.061
I'm around people that smoke all day long.

01:34:39.601 --> 01:34:40.831
Don't bother me smoke.

01:34:41.371 --> 01:34:42.481
it's your health, your problem.

01:34:42.871 --> 01:34:44.011
I'm around people that drink.

01:34:44.491 --> 01:34:45.661
Don't bother bothers them.

01:34:45.811 --> 01:34:47.036
Oh, pastor, no man.

01:34:47.036 --> 01:34:47.936
Drink what you want.

01:34:48.926 --> 01:34:49.616
It's show life.

01:34:49.746 --> 01:34:50.796
don't hide from me.

01:34:50.886 --> 01:34:51.726
I'm not God.

01:34:51.786 --> 01:34:53.526
I don't have a heaven
or a hell to put you in.

01:34:54.126 --> 01:34:54.336
You know?

01:34:54.396 --> 01:34:58.416
That's a personal, that's a personal
thing between you and the Lord.

01:34:58.626 --> 01:35:00.276
I don't judge nobody 'cause I was there.

01:35:00.456 --> 01:35:00.576
Yeah.

01:35:00.576 --> 01:35:01.416
And I know how it is.

01:35:01.866 --> 01:35:07.206
I, when I go to Jersey to visit my
family and friends, talk about drugs.

01:35:08.706 --> 01:35:09.666
S everywhere.

01:35:10.416 --> 01:35:12.816
Cocaine, heroin don't bother me.

01:35:13.116 --> 01:35:14.646
Say, Hey man, let me say hi.

01:35:14.646 --> 01:35:15.096
How you doing?

01:35:15.246 --> 01:35:15.876
I see you.

01:35:15.876 --> 01:35:16.326
Bye.

01:35:16.506 --> 01:35:17.466
Because I don't wanna be there.

01:35:17.556 --> 01:35:18.306
Is there's a raid.

01:35:18.306 --> 01:35:20.106
I don't wanna get caught
up in that kind of stuff.

01:35:20.286 --> 01:35:20.556
Yeah.

01:35:21.006 --> 01:35:23.166
But they respect me and
they, they respect me.

01:35:23.216 --> 01:35:26.841
and some of them that, you know, old
friends, I like, man, let's go out,

01:35:26.841 --> 01:35:29.721
eat, but you clean, you don't have
nothing in your pocket, this and that.

01:35:29.961 --> 01:35:32.121
Let's go have a sandwich
somewhere away from here.

01:35:32.631 --> 01:35:35.821
'cause I, you know, what I'm trying
to say with that is that those

01:35:35.821 --> 01:35:37.321
things don't affect me no more.

01:35:38.651 --> 01:35:41.411
because of the power of
the Holy Spirit in me.

01:35:42.281 --> 01:35:45.401
And I don't judge nobody when I
see those guys, whether, whatever

01:35:45.401 --> 01:35:46.661
you doing, I say you can change.

01:35:46.661 --> 01:35:50.471
Just like I changed my life
20 years I was a slave.

01:35:50.501 --> 01:35:52.451
and then let me, lemme take a step back.

01:35:52.901 --> 01:35:56.471
It's not about the drugs or
the boost or the alcohol, I.

01:35:57.026 --> 01:35:58.046
It's about other things.

01:35:58.106 --> 01:35:59.186
Unforgiving spirit.

01:35:59.546 --> 01:36:00.986
Oh, you don't know what he did to me?

01:36:01.236 --> 01:36:02.556
I forgave my stepfather.

01:36:02.796 --> 01:36:05.876
It's because of him at the
age of 15, I hit the streets.

01:36:06.866 --> 01:36:07.706
It's because of him.

01:36:07.706 --> 01:36:10.376
I didn't have a, that
relationship with my mother.

01:36:10.856 --> 01:36:14.661
I don't have no good memories
of my mother and my father.

01:36:15.681 --> 01:36:16.641
I didn't have a childhood.

01:36:16.911 --> 01:36:18.801
I was from one hand to the other.

01:36:18.801 --> 01:36:22.701
I never, I slept in kitchens and
I slept in living rooms in a co

01:36:25.131 --> 01:36:26.301
I never had that love.

01:36:26.451 --> 01:36:30.921
You know, I, I, I look, you
know, my wife, for instance, uh,

01:36:30.951 --> 01:36:32.626
four sisters and eight brothers.

01:36:32.806 --> 01:36:34.366
How tight, how close they are.

01:36:35.326 --> 01:36:38.076
I remember when her mother
and father were alive, Wow.

01:36:38.076 --> 01:36:40.596
And I look at that and I say,
wow, I wish I could have had that.

01:36:41.926 --> 01:36:45.131
I, so a lot of people are carrying a
lot of stuff, a lot of being, being

01:36:45.131 --> 01:36:49.411
abused, by family members and all
that, and they cannot get over that.

01:36:49.921 --> 01:36:51.991
What I'm trying to say is
that God can heal all wounds.

01:36:53.446 --> 01:36:56.566
Mentally, physically, spiritually,
emotionally, whatever.

01:36:57.296 --> 01:36:59.336
if we only believe he healed me.

01:36:59.906 --> 01:37:04.736
I used to be full of hatred towards
my stepfather, anger towards my

01:37:04.736 --> 01:37:10.496
mother, bitterness, so many things
that were inside of me, but praise

01:37:10.496 --> 01:37:14.426
God for his mercy, his goodness
that, uh, you know, he had healed me.

01:37:14.846 --> 01:37:20.106
And now, all those things that
I went through, I didn't realize

01:37:20.106 --> 01:37:22.626
why I thought that all that
stuff was because God hated me.

01:37:23.076 --> 01:37:23.466
No.

01:37:24.306 --> 01:37:30.096
All those things that I went through,
now, God is using it for His glory and

01:37:30.096 --> 01:37:34.026
to bless suce because when somebody
walks into my office and pastor, you

01:37:34.026 --> 01:37:35.386
don't know what I'm going through, I.

01:37:36.076 --> 01:37:40.426
Somebody, did this to me or told
somebody talked about me or they

01:37:40.426 --> 01:37:42.736
back stabbed me, or I mean whatever.

01:37:42.856 --> 01:37:43.246
You know?

01:37:43.576 --> 01:37:47.386
Uh, I deal with people who are
separation and, you know, kind

01:37:47.386 --> 01:37:49.326
of, dilemmas and things like that.

01:37:49.806 --> 01:37:53.706
I can look at that person and understand
exactly what they're going through.

01:37:53.946 --> 01:37:54.036
Mm-hmm.

01:37:54.186 --> 01:37:57.396
How many people do I cry with
them and they're surprised, like,

01:37:57.396 --> 01:37:59.106
why the pastor crying with me?

01:37:59.376 --> 01:37:59.766
Help me.

01:37:59.766 --> 01:38:01.176
You know, because they start crying.

01:38:01.176 --> 01:38:05.426
I feel their pain, and now I see why
God allow all those things in my life.

01:38:06.026 --> 01:38:08.936
Because now through those
suffers that I went through, all

01:38:08.936 --> 01:38:10.166
the people are being blessed.

01:38:10.196 --> 01:38:13.286
Now I can talk to people and
know what I'm talking about.

01:38:13.586 --> 01:38:16.696
It is not that I'm telling
somebody something that I read

01:38:16.746 --> 01:38:20.616
in a life magazine or whatever,
or repeating somebody's story.

01:38:21.261 --> 01:38:23.991
I'm telling you what I live, what I
experienced, what I've been through,

01:38:24.231 --> 01:38:29.521
and how God helped me conquer those
things so that, you know, if he did

01:38:29.521 --> 01:38:32.681
it for me, he do it for anybody.

01:38:32.771 --> 01:38:33.071
Mm-hmm.

01:38:33.072 --> 01:38:35.861
I don't give you a drunk
drug addict prostitute.

01:38:35.951 --> 01:38:37.871
A thief matter who you are.

01:38:38.441 --> 01:38:40.751
No matter who you are
or what you have done.

01:38:40.901 --> 01:38:43.141
Because a lot of people think,
oh, you don't know my past.

01:38:43.141 --> 01:38:43.591
That's right.

01:38:43.591 --> 01:38:46.081
I don't know your past and I
don't need to know your past.

01:38:46.801 --> 01:38:48.481
God's not concerned about your past.

01:38:48.481 --> 01:38:51.691
God is concerned about your present
and your future, or he can do with you.

01:38:51.696 --> 01:38:51.996
Mm-hmm.

01:38:52.381 --> 01:38:53.341
He knows your past.

01:38:53.371 --> 01:38:55.231
He was there when you
was committing that sin.

01:38:55.711 --> 01:38:56.731
He was there, he saw it.

01:38:57.151 --> 01:38:57.961
I think he's hidden.

01:38:58.531 --> 01:39:02.201
So now he's concerned about, okay,
you come to me, give your life to me.

01:39:02.456 --> 01:39:05.826
you gonna, I'm gonna shock you what
I'm gonna, what I can do in you

01:39:05.826 --> 01:39:08.586
and through you, because that's,
I look at myself when I'm praying.

01:39:08.586 --> 01:39:10.596
I say, Lord, he's incredible.

01:39:10.646 --> 01:39:11.306
how you can.

01:39:11.786 --> 01:39:15.566
Show so much mercy and do so much
in the life of a person like me,

01:39:16.176 --> 01:39:20.316
the transformation in the inside, on
the other side, I still look old and

01:39:20.376 --> 01:39:22.001
ugly and all that, but on the inside,

01:39:24.101 --> 01:39:26.396
in the inside, it's a
totally different story.

01:39:26.876 --> 01:39:30.296
So I just, you know, whoever
listening or whoever hears this,

01:39:32.936 --> 01:39:35.736
I just pray that, it would be a
blessing that will help with them.

01:39:35.736 --> 01:39:36.666
It will strengthen them.

01:39:39.106 --> 01:39:40.606
Well, thank you Carlos.

01:39:40.726 --> 01:39:41.506
That's beautiful.

01:39:41.506 --> 01:39:43.606
Thank you so much for doing this.

01:39:44.146 --> 01:39:47.621
I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of
people who are blessed by your story.

01:39:48.821 --> 01:39:52.151
Would you mind praying for us,
praying for the listeners out there?

01:39:53.217 --> 01:39:53.802
Jesse Duke: Let's pray.

01:39:54.162 --> 01:39:57.972
I, heavenly Father, we thank you for
this time that you allow us to have.

01:39:59.032 --> 01:40:03.512
thank you for speaking, through me,
Lord, because, those words, Lord,

01:40:03.512 --> 01:40:06.832
came from deep down in my heart, Lord,
because You know, my desire, Lord,

01:40:06.952 --> 01:40:11.542
and my desire is to help those who may
be dealing with different situations,

01:40:11.602 --> 01:40:14.642
temptations, challenges in their life.

01:40:14.642 --> 01:40:19.102
They, might be somebody that,
is in church and they love you.

01:40:19.132 --> 01:40:20.602
They really love you.

01:40:20.602 --> 01:40:21.712
They want to serve you.

01:40:22.132 --> 01:40:25.702
They want to give everything
that they have to honor you.

01:40:26.392 --> 01:40:31.762
But sometimes the little things
sometimes could be a unforgiving spirit.

01:40:31.972 --> 01:40:35.002
You sometimes could be a hurt pain.

01:40:36.562 --> 01:40:38.682
And we know how the enemy, works.

01:40:38.682 --> 01:40:45.032
He always, tries his very best to plant
seeds, negative seeds in our minds.

01:40:46.382 --> 01:40:50.262
And that's how, he can, do his
work, when we allow those things

01:40:50.262 --> 01:40:53.712
to come into our minds, because
that's what the battle begins.

01:40:55.297 --> 01:40:57.487
we need, we need to surrender everything.

01:40:57.487 --> 01:41:00.487
When those temptations, when
those negative thoughts come into

01:41:00.487 --> 01:41:03.877
our mind, we need to turn them
over immediately to Jesus Christ.

01:41:04.447 --> 01:41:08.487
We need to plead the blood of Jesus
immediately of ourselves and ask God

01:41:08.487 --> 01:41:10.857
for of strength and for guidance.

01:41:11.637 --> 01:41:14.582
We don't need to entertain
those pains or sufferings or

01:41:14.582 --> 01:41:16.292
whatever the situation may be.

01:41:17.882 --> 01:41:21.182
So we pray, Lord, in the name of
Jesus, and by the power of your Holy

01:41:21.182 --> 01:41:24.992
Spirit, that you give us the strength
that we need, the courage that we need

01:41:24.992 --> 01:41:27.092
to just surrender everything to you.

01:41:27.602 --> 01:41:31.802
Whether it's a husband, a wife, a
child, a son, a daughter, a mother,

01:41:31.802 --> 01:41:36.002
father, grandparents, brother,
sisters, whoever the coworker.

01:41:36.992 --> 01:41:41.142
Because the enemy, like the word said,
we wrestle against principalities.

01:41:41.142 --> 01:41:46.492
And it's not people, it's those evil and
unclean spirits that, that constantly

01:41:46.492 --> 01:41:48.357
are, they are working against us.

01:41:48.777 --> 01:41:50.427
'cause the devil wants to destroy us.

01:41:50.427 --> 01:41:54.087
They wanna destroy our families
want, the devil wants to destroy our

01:41:54.087 --> 01:41:56.967
marriages, our finances, our health.

01:41:57.507 --> 01:41:58.527
It's a battle going on.

01:42:00.477 --> 01:42:01.557
We can see it through our eyes.

01:42:03.147 --> 01:42:05.397
It's going on, it's happening.

01:42:06.447 --> 01:42:10.257
We can see how the world is
just, is turned upside down.

01:42:11.007 --> 01:42:17.337
So Father, I just pray, Lord, that
if one word that, that I spoke

01:42:19.767 --> 01:42:23.217
would touch somebody, would help,
somebody would bring healing, will

01:42:23.217 --> 01:42:26.277
bring strength, will bring illumination.

01:42:26.277 --> 01:42:29.517
Understanding Lord, it's
for your glory and honor.

01:42:30.567 --> 01:42:32.092
It's not for me because I.

01:42:33.307 --> 01:42:34.867
Lord, you have been so good to me.

01:42:36.232 --> 01:42:40.987
I'm not who I used to be, but
yet I'm not who I am going to be

01:42:41.167 --> 01:42:42.307
'cause you're still working in me.

01:42:44.317 --> 01:42:45.217
It's a process.

01:42:47.197 --> 01:42:50.647
And Lord, like always my prayer is
that I want more and more of you

01:42:51.337 --> 01:42:52.777
because I want to be used by you.

01:42:52.927 --> 01:42:57.517
I want to be an instrument for building
your kingdom, reaching out and touching

01:42:58.027 --> 01:43:03.517
the hearts and souls and lives of people
for your glory, not for my glory, not

01:43:03.517 --> 01:43:06.427
for me, not for a ministry, but for you.

01:43:06.427 --> 01:43:08.077
That Jesus will be exalted.

01:43:10.207 --> 01:43:11.287
So Father, we love you.

01:43:11.287 --> 01:43:12.187
We thank you.

01:43:12.847 --> 01:43:16.417
We thank you for my brother
because he's not a friend.

01:43:16.417 --> 01:43:21.157
He's a brother, Jesse, for bringing
us together, for needing a heart,

01:43:21.727 --> 01:43:23.617
for allowing us to work side by side.

01:43:23.617 --> 01:43:23.857
Lord,

01:43:28.537 --> 01:43:29.497
love you, Lord.

01:43:29.497 --> 01:43:29.557
I.

01:43:31.147 --> 01:43:36.187
Words cannot express our gratitude
for what you have done in spite

01:43:36.187 --> 01:43:37.867
of what we have been through.

01:43:39.517 --> 01:43:43.987
We excited about the future 'cause
I know you have great things for us.

01:43:44.857 --> 01:43:48.487
I know you're gonna do great things
through us because it's for you,

01:43:48.487 --> 01:43:54.277
father, to glorify you and to bless your
people, your children, your creation.

01:43:55.117 --> 01:43:58.747
So Father, to you, be all the glory
and the honor in Jesus' name, by

01:43:58.747 --> 01:43:59.917
the power of your Holy Spirit.

01:44:00.367 --> 01:44:01.687
Amen and amen.

01:44:02.707 --> 01:44:03.397
Amen.

01:44:07.247 --> 01:44:09.437
Cailin: We hope you've been
blessed by today's story.

01:44:09.867 --> 01:44:14.037
if you've heard something that you think
could help someone you know, please share

01:44:14.037 --> 01:44:15.927
it using the link in the show notes.

01:44:16.737 --> 01:44:21.087
Also, if you will give Faith and purpose a
positive review on your podcast platform,

01:44:21.507 --> 01:44:23.157
you could help more people find it.

01:44:23.757 --> 01:44:26.577
You'll probably never know
how that small effort.

01:44:26.952 --> 01:44:31.392
Can make a big difference in someone's
life, but our Heavenly Father knows.

01:44:31.842 --> 01:44:36.702
Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus
follower with a story to tell, please send

01:44:36.702 --> 01:44:39.132
them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.

01:44:39.552 --> 01:44:41.712
It may encourage them to tell their story.

01:44:42.162 --> 01:44:43.752
That person may even be you.

01:44:44.202 --> 01:44:47.322
Our only criteria is
that Jesus be glorified.

01:44:48.132 --> 01:44:51.642
Most Christians don't share their
faith because they mistakenly think

01:44:51.642 --> 01:44:53.952
their story is not interesting enough.

01:44:54.327 --> 01:44:58.377
Or that it's self-centered to talk
about themselves or that they are

01:44:58.437 --> 01:45:02.757
not competent to explain the gospel
correctly, but none of that is relevant.

01:45:03.117 --> 01:45:06.597
If Jesus has changed your
life, you have a story to tell.

01:45:07.497 --> 01:45:12.267
No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone

01:45:12.267 --> 01:45:14.217
else through telling your experience.

01:45:14.542 --> 01:45:17.062
no one can disagree with your experience.

01:45:17.962 --> 01:45:22.102
When we tell what Jesus has done in
our lives, we are being obedient to his

01:45:22.102 --> 01:45:26.332
command to go into all the world and
preach the gospel to every creature.

01:45:26.752 --> 01:45:30.622
It's not about theology and it's not
about how interesting or special you are.

01:45:30.952 --> 01:45:32.752
It's all about Jesus.

01:45:33.322 --> 01:45:36.742
So when you are ready to tell
how Jesus has impacted your life,

01:45:37.162 --> 01:45:41.512
you can let Jesse know at his
ministry website, jesse duke.net.

01:45:42.112 --> 01:45:45.292
There you can download guidelines
that will make it easy to

01:45:45.292 --> 01:45:46.822
prepare to tell your story.

01:45:47.362 --> 01:45:49.912
Thank you for listening today and shalom.