well
hello all you beautiful people
you know what time it is
ladies and gents
guys and dolls and everyone in between
gather round
get you something real nice to sip on
and comfy to slip on
because it's time
for smut club
here's your hosts chelsea and hannah
hello and welcome to smut club hey
everybody hope you're having a good day
um we're here to talk about smutty books
we sure are i'm hannah i'm chelsea we
are both therapists and we
read a lot of smut
um well so
like we're
we're still in january in 2022 when
we're recording this episode um
the end it's like
february starts next week how many books
have you already read this year and how
many of them were smut
i mean all of them were smart valid um
31 books this year holy [ __ ] hannah
you like you have read a book a day and
we
over a book a day
to be totally fair
i was already like three quarters of the
way through three books at the start um
that'll do it yeah you know so that
really put me over the top well i mean i
thought i was doing pretty good and i'm
at 19 books for the year that is pretty
good what did you set for your reading
goal on goodreads 300.
so here's the thing i've read over 200
the past two years but i also don't like
to put that pressure on myself because
i'm like i feel like then when you're
like oh you're behind schedule then i
get stressed out and feel like i need to
read quicker and then i'm like not
actually reading for enjoyment and i'm
just reading because i'm stressed out
and have this goal to meet yep
so last year i had set my goal is 52
books and so i was like okay a book a
week feels very reasonable and then i
read like 204 books
and so this year i set my goal to 150
books knowing that i would probably
still go over but just like
not stressing myself out about it in the
process
so
well i set my goal for 200 books last
year and then wound up reading like
330 something so i was like let's just
go with 300. if i don't meet it that's
fine that's still a [ __ ] ton of books
right
and i like honestly my husband says that
all the time i'm like i'm behind on
books and he's like
the [ __ ] you mean you're behind on books
behind who right especially like when i
like i have to keep it in perspective
like i look at my friends reading
challenges on goodreads and i'm like
cool they said 12 books they were
shooting for one a month and i'm sitting
here and i'm like i'm i've only read 19
books in january and my husband's like
you need to get the [ __ ] over yourself
because probably this is not a problem
so that said today we are going to
review
neighbors
by stylo phantom phantom bless you
yeah honestly i've always read her last
name i'd love to know how to i mean the
e on the end has always made me say
fantome um
it's a fun name could be fantomy
oh fancy i know fantomy
i i don't think i'm gonna say fantomy
like that's not what i'm gonna default
to sure
to be fair i don't really know if i need
to mention it again but probably not
stylo
phantom
so that feels like i don't know i don't
remember the word for it but you know
where
you have a bunch of letters and then you
make up words from those letters anagram
maybe it feels like one of those like
her name is actually like stacy
fit
phipps or something i know none of those
letters don't really match but we can
definitely
have a dedicated episode where we look
into this and see some more okay um all
right so this is the book is neighbors
and this is a love triangle book we
haven't we haven't had a fun love
triangle yet okay also it's kind of a
love triangle it's kind of not a love
triangle you'll understand as we go
through this journey so
the three main characters we need to
familiarize ourselves with you have
katya
she's the main love interest she's 23
she's a professional baker because you
know
she's like i went to culinary school and
like then i like had this internship and
now i'm like in charge of their bakery
and
i
am like a small celebrity baker in san
francisco and there's like at least a
several month waiting list to get my
baked goods
not a euphemism but it also can be
sure we'll we'll get there then we have
liam he also goes by eden his last name
is edenhof and people call him eden well
that's really confusing right so you
have liam
katya calls him liam but everyone else
pretty much calls him edam
and then you have
woofrickstone
we all know y'all i struggle saying woof
i really love wool frick
wool frick stone i nailed it and if you
want me to say it that slowly every time
i i think i can properly pronounce it oh
just okay so say wool
whoa
well
y'all legitimately so i have to drive a
little over an hour to get to chelsea's
house and the whole way here i was
trying to think of ways to coach sure to
say the word wolf so that we could get
through this without me dying i think
we're just having to commit to me saying
woof or you're we're gonna have to
commit to me going
wool every time i say it and that's
going to be a process so
woof
rick
woofrick stone carry um
he's a real estate mogul
so you have katya she's a professional
baker woof is a
real estate mogul i forgot to mention
liam is a sex club owner naturally um
it's called the garden
his last name is eden
you see where we were all so clever um
and we will learn more about them as we
go so
we we open up and katy is like i'm
single i need to make a dating profile
i'm sad i don't know i just like need
some
whatever is happening in my life so she
like makes a dating profile on eros the
dating site
and
it's kind of like is this what my life
has come to
and mind you like i feel like this this
book
i i need to check the publication date
but i feel like it was
pretty
as common as online dating is now and
like the way we all like view online
dating now like hell i met my husband on
bumble and i feel like
that's a common tale these days like no
one yeah it doesn't feel like it's like
a a spicy detail anymore when you're
like oh i'm at my i met my husband or i
met my partner online you're just like
oh yeah like everyone meets online these
days we're in a [ __ ] pandemic how
else are you going to meet people to be
fair i married my husband several years
before the pandemic so that's not why we
met on bumble but we did still meet on a
dating app
i met my husband in rehab because we
were both working there well you were
both working there but lest we forget
that your husband thought you were a
patient he did he did it was my first
day and i didn't know where to go
and he asked me who my therapist was and
i was like i am one i am the therapist
and he was like oh you're the new girl
and that is how i met my husband
what a love story i know it's really
magical for everybody okay so
you all met and it was magical and you
weren't a patient because that would
have been
a lot of ethical issues
a lot of them yes correct yes so
katya makes this profile and then it's
like what does my life come to shuts her
computer her roommate is like i'm going
to be helpful and so she opens her
computer and updates her dating profile
to be like i love strip aerobics and
pole dancing and like really makes her
sound like more of a party girl i mean
she is is any of that true is she in
dystrophics no she wears a lot of chinos
and donna karen chinos a 23 year old
girl wearing chinos and like white ivory
cashmere sweaters is kind of like she's
like very like buttoned up yes very
buttoned up very conservative so
this profile is not congruent with who
she is as a human
so
liam
sees her profile and he's like oh
i live in their the her apartment
building there there are two apartment
buildings that are identical
and she lives in one he lives in the
other and he's seen her in the lobby and
he's like holy [ __ ] that's my neighbor
and he's sitting there with his business
partner
richard stone who's like
no wait richard richard mason is the
business partner so he's sitting there
with richard mason who he calls ricky
throughout the book
and he's like holy [ __ ] look at this
girl look how hot she is and he's like
yeah cool fine like whatever she's a hot
girl like
tell me if it's worth it i don't give a
damn it doesn't yeah yes
so
liam then like waits until he sees katya
in the lobby and like asks her out and
is like oh like i saw your dating
profile and like honestly i probably
like i thought you were cute but i
wouldn't have asked you out before then
because like you just kind of seem
buttoned up with your like pearls and
cardigans and
she knows sure so then she's like
what do you mean like don't
underestimate me so like yes like let's
go out on a date even though like at the
same time she's like i don't do strip
aerobics i could kill my roommate for
updating my profile but then like every
time he's like yeah i wasn't gonna ask
you out because like you don't seem like
the kind of girl who's into the [ __ ] i'm
into she's like don't underestimate me
and so she agrees to go out with him
and then when she's getting ready for
the date her roommate is straight up
like is that what you're wearing and she
goes it's donna karen so like that's our
energy yikes so she goes and meets liam
in the lobby and he's like i own a club
and so she's like okay like i'll go to
the i like i want to see your club and
she's like is it like a book club is it
like a dancing club is it like a
discotheque like what's happening at
this club and he's like
i own a sex club
oh my stars right and she's like and
he's like is that is that too much for
you
and she's like don't underestimate me so
i just want to
i just want to be clear chelsea has some
notes for this book open on the table
right now in front of her
and in all
no no no you'll ruin it you can't get
there yet i can't well i'm already there
you're already there but just get no one
else okay well so they like
she goes to the sex club with liam and
then like pretty much every few minutes
he's like we get it like you proved it
like you're you're cooler than like i
gave you credit for like you don't have
to commit to this and she's like
what do you mean commit to this i just
like want to experience all these things
and so then
he's like showing her around his sex
club and they start like going at it in
one of the booths and he's like why
don't we go into my office and i can
like have someone bring us drinks and
she's like no i want to stay out on the
floor here
and so
then
she's like he's stripping her and he
like pulls the partitions closed and the
sex booth of the sex club also for the
record
they're only allowed it's a it's a
multi-floor club it's two floors they're
only allowed to bring one alcoholic
beverage down from the upper floor so
there's only water
served in the sex club so everyone can
make
appropriate decisions right which is is
accurate yes it is accurate and i
actually really appreciated that but
like he pulls out he's like oh here's
like my my bottle of tequila like i keep
down here that's mine's like but like he
does ask he's like so like how much have
you had to drink like on a scale of one
to ten how do you feel she's like four
i'm like pleasantly tipsy and he's like
okay so like you aren't gonna like
regret all of this tomorrow or like not
remember any of it right well that's
nice right so like there is like i'm
like there is some consent conversations
which i really appreciate
we love consent we do love consent so
they're going at it they bone in this
booth and then like somehow her ass
gets involved
hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up
i could have worded that better but i
also could have worded it worse
that's not an accident
i mean so i feel like every
every girl who has hooked up with a guy
in college has experienced them telling
you that it's an accident it's not a
[ __ ] accident so no but she like her
like i forget if like
he mentioned her ass or if like she
mentioned her ass but like at some point
they were like oh like that'd be like a
future date and she's like you don't
know unless you try and like so then
suddenly this girl
who's a prude and has she's like i've
had sex with two men and sexual
experiences with four men total in my
life um
is getting railed in the ass
by liam
edenhoff
the garden of eden at the sex club
called the garden
and that is what is in all caps in
chelsea's notes it just says anal with
an exclamation point in all caps in in
all caps i felt like it was important
and i needed to remember to mention it
and it takes up like three lines of text
like it's okay it's a dotted page
it is not like three full lines it is
three full lines those would be some
small ass lines that would be smaller
than college print paper
oh well then it's fine carry on it's
like two and a half lines of college
print that just says anal with a giant
exclamation point okay so there is that
so then like the next morning
katya wakes up at liam's place and like
they like went back to his place kept
[ __ ]
she is
hungover still a little drunk whatever
he like kisses her goodbye like it's
like let's like we'll i'll see you when
i see you kind of kind of energy
right like let's do this again kiss kiss
bye yes yeah and so then like the next
scene is kind of like the next few
scenes are like
katya kind of processing and like liam
processings like tattoos kind of like
talking to a roommate and being like oh
like what what's am i into this like i
can't believe like this is so out of
character for me but i also was really
into it so like is this really out of
character for me do i need new clothes
that aren't on a karen to represent who
i am as a human
and then like liam is talking to ricky
and like they're like how did the date
go
and liam's like yeah like i think i like
want to see her again
obviously one would hope
right like
well and there's also this whole dynamic
where like
he will keep making comments and she's
like stop underestimating me but then
like she'll like make slightly
self-deprecating comments and he's like
stop putting yourself down i'm like but
also like you kind of keep
unintentionally putting her down by like
all of these assumptions you've made
about her as a human without
conversation but that's you know
a tangent i just like
i don't know i felt kind of strongly
about it when i was reading it because
like there's really she's like stop
underestimating me and he's like i
couldn't believe how like
effortlessly sexy she was
but then like she'll make comments and
then like so are you under are you only
underestimating her sexually
like
i think that's what i was really trying
to figure out but that's that's not
really gonna we aren't gonna do the full
review on that thought process
so
then
katya is telling her roommate about the
sexual experience with liam over the
phone while she's at work at the bakery
sure that is the place to talk about
having accidental anal in a sex club
yes your first time having anal
on like a kind of date with a stranger
like it really just seemed like a dare
more than a date
so while she's working while katy is
working the bakery like the
the door chime sounds and then in walks
in
her childhood neighbor
woof
woof rick stone
rick
stone
nailed that [ __ ] you really did i'm
really proud of you thank you i really
appreciate that you're welcome so he
walks in but it's kind of like
he's like on his phone and not fully
paying attention and like she sees him
and it's like holy [ __ ] this is like my
childhood neighbor who like i had a
crush on like i used to like creep out
my window when he was swimming in his
pool because i thought he was like the
hot older guy and he's like six years
older than her
but like he's not fully engaged when
he's there and then he's like oh like i
like need to
place an order and she's like cool well
like we have a wait list so
if it's like my like my waitlist is at
least three months out and he's like
wait what like well i guess our event is
actually in five months so that's fine
but like kind of seemed like surprised
by that
but like doesn't really acknowledge that
he knows her at all like she recognizes
him and then it's like getting more and
more frustrated because he's kind of
being like flippant and dismissive
so
woof
because that's his name
wolf like they like place the order they
leave
and then his assistant walks back in
with like a business card and it's like
be here at 7pm and she's like what and
like is this about the order and the
assistant was like no this isn't about
the cupcakes
meet him here at 7pm and so she's like
okay why wouldn't i
so um because of all the true crime
documentaries that have ever been
created that's why right i'm like
i really she's a little too trusting
yeah
i don't think it's related to her donna
care and apparel i don't know if they're
not related though
so that's what i'm considering fair
point
i'm sure it's no surprise she shows up
to the bar at 7 pm to see him and like
once again like he's like kind of
engaged with her and it's like he'll
like put his hand on her thigh but then
like he's like on his phone and like
kind of looking around like seems bored
when she's talking and like not really
into the date
honestly he's like loki a dick
throughout the date but she's just like
i could feel my panties getting wet like
she's like they're just like this like
tension building between us and i'm like
really because like you
it seems like he's like
not that into it even though he's the
one instigating all of this so it's a
little bit confusing
it sounds like some like low-key
gaslighting
like a little like it's not i wouldn't
say it's like bully romance at all but
it's like definitely this like weird
dichotomy where you're like
he's just a dick to you why are you so
into this
so then he
drives her home and just like drops her
off and she's like okay well like what
what the [ __ ] was that because she's
like why are we here what are we doing
and he's like well like this is
most people would call this a date when
they like eat food and she's like i
thought this was about a bakery order
like you didn't even acknowledge that
you knew me
how was i supposed to know that this was
a date
so he like drops her off very quickly
and then she's like telling her roommate
about it and then suddenly there's a
knock on her door and like woof is there
and like kisses her
and they're like okay
let's go like
how how awesome is that but then she's
like oh no there's two guys what am i
doing
and so then the next day she's
leaving her apartment and down in the
lobby liam is waiting there
and liam has been waiting for her for a
while because he never got her phone
number whoops that feels like an
oversight on his part so much so and
then he's like
let's go for tacos
and
he's like really into tacos like liam's
whole energy he's obviously really into
tacos among other things
i see what you did there thank you thank
you very much well so like
here's like liam's energy throughout the
entire book is like
so we also find out he owns the
apartment buildings that they live in
like they have worse they'd previously
been owned by his aunt or someone and
like they were like left to him and he
is a twin brother or some [ __ ] his
brother is a doctor and isn't in the
picture
well not until future books there is a
book about his twin brother
um
so
yeah
like he like owns these buildings that
he kind of like happened into then like
had money then like he'd been working at
the sex club then he wanted to own it so
he got like ricky to invest and so then
he has a business partner but like
his entire like energy the entire time
is like 32 year old
slacker
surfer bro who just wants to eat tacos
and get stoned every day like not really
aspiring too much happens to have a ton
of money because he inherited this and
owns the sex club exactly right right
right
so liam asks her out for tacos and then
wolf is like
hey
you're like we're going out again and
like meet me on saturday and then she's
like oh no what do i do like i said yes
to both of them in my head i'm like you
could say no to one of them
or you could say yes to both of them
babe like you have not committed to
either one exactly i'm like i really
feel like you're putting a lot of
pressure on yourself you like if you
don't want to to say yes to both of them
don't and if you do
don't put this pressure on yourself
you don't owe either of them anything
like you are in a relationship with
either of them sure you had anal in the
sex club the first time you met liam you
don't owe him a relationship you don't
owe anyone anything so your wild oats
babe like do your thing
so while she's hanging out with liam on
their like taco date she like says like
hey like i'm seeing someone else like i
just like wanted to let you know like
it's it's super new
we've only gone out like
once
we're going out again but like it's
super new and then like he's like cool
so what do you want to bone and she's
like well like i like feel like
conflicted about this because
there's this other guy and then he's
like i'll keep it strictly vag
you know the true gentleman
that he is
so thoughtful yeah he's like i'll keep a
strictly badge like we don't need to go
anal again
i'm like so then it's fine what a
generous offer
but he seems like a generous lover to be
totally honest right yeah yeah so she's
like thanks but i i i think we'll pass
this time
so then she goes out on the date
with with woof
and like once again he's like he's kind
of a dick like it feels like he's like
nugging her throughout this date like
i'm kind of like
what is this like passionate romantic
tension between y'all that like
you like he just kind of seems mean yeah
but you also seem into it so
live your life i am not here to judge
people that's degradation kink you know
what i'm saying like if you're into that
you're into that but like that needs to
be
a conversation
and i think that's like the thing about
a lot of these books it's like it's not
a full
conversation and they do even say like
katya mentions in this book like later
on she's like
oh liam always like
is hesitant to touch me and you like
whenever like he's about to do something
like he like makes eye contact with me
like asking for permission and she's
like wolf just kind of like takes what
like he's like
what is
his
and so yeah like there's like kind of
that relationship
and so like she mentions that like
there's another guy as well that she's
been sleeping with because she's trying
to be upfront with both of them
and then
honestly i don't really fully remember
all of the details she
he like makes a comment and then like
she goes into the bathroom and then
she's like i'm like i want him and i
just i'm feeling the sexual tension with
him so she takes off her panties in the
bathroom
okay yep and then she walks out of the
bathroom and like hands him her panties
and is like these are yours like i'm i'm
into this and so that's one way to do it
but also it's it's like the restaurant
in the
ground floor of the office building he
owns that his offices are in like
getting there was very little effort for
him not that it needs to be effort i
just wanted to make note of that like he
just went downstairs from his office
yes but he tells like the
gm of the restaurant like hey we need
the room for 10 minutes
for 10 minutes
yeah i specifically remember noting for
10 minutes we need the room for 10
minutes i'm like well that's a little
bit of an insult
well yeah i'm like okay so
so we've already established that
apparently liam is a generous lover and
wolf here is like give me a cool tin
he's
to his credit he's still generous
just more efficient
well when i think of hot sweaty sex i
think of efficiency so
well yeah because it's like a high
intensity workout you get that heart
rate up quickly
we're into hiit thank you
so
then he's like all your like she like
had given her her panties and then she's
like he's like all of your panties
belong to me like you belong like just
very like
we're a thing now and like your mind
whenever it is yeah like very very
possessive wasn't like making comments
like
would would the other like would he have
[ __ ] you on the table like making
comments of that capacity where are you
liam would have he owns a sex club like
calm down wolf yes he would have thank
you for asking but i don't think that's
the answer you wanted in this situation
so you set yourself up for some
disappointment ultimately
so
then
liam gives after after this date i don't
really remember exactly when in the
timeline liam gives katya a key to the
roof of her buildings that way like she
can go up and like hang out in stargaze
and like it's their place like
no one else has access to it and so it's
their special place for just the two of
them to hang out and so she's like oh
like how sweet and like wonderful is
this and then he's also like hey because
it was in your bio i went ahead and did
you a solid and signed you up for some
for a strip aerobics class
um
candy with an i is the instructor
and yes
she did bone liam historically sure um
because when she first moved to san fran
um
she
frequented the sex club before she found
out that stripping was her real passion
in life good for her yes so now she's a
strip aerobics instructor
and liam has signed katya up for this
class with his former lover with his
former lover but that's a bold move but
like
everyone is kind of liam's former lover
is his energy
good for him right like like their first
date walking through the sex club like
everyone was like eden how you doing man
like why haven't you called me like
everyone is
knows him in a sexual capacity
so
after the like he also he doesn't attend
the the class he's just i signed you up
for this and then drops her off the
class and he's like i'll pick you up
afterwards
so after the strip aerobics class she's
in the shower cleaning herself up
because she's super sweaty and he like
shows up in the women's
locker room of course he does and then
i'm sure we're all surprised to hear
they bone in the shower i'm shocked by
that there is shower sex underlined with
an exploration point you're not allowed
to see my notes anymore if you're gonna
ruin the surprises forever you already
said it i did you're right you did try
and tell people about anal too soon i
did i'm sorry
it won't happen again i just got excited
so yes they have shower sex and like
she's completely naked and then like
he's like she's like haha it was so
funny because his clothes were
completely wet because his jeans were
just around his ankles this whole time
and then we took the city bus back to
our apartments and i'm like
hold up hold up hold up the jeans around
the ankles just reminds me of a a male
toddler using the bathroom like trying
to pee
like that's not like around his ass i
get you know like just low enough but
around the ankles as well it was
aggressive enough sex that they they
shimmied down from his ass to his ankles
they shimmied because of the zhuzh i get
of
the shower sex and the strip aerobics
so
yes
like we kind of continue on this on this
journey
katy is like hanging out with woof and
like they're going on like lunch dates
and like having fun very proper in her
donna karen yes and then like she's like
hanging out like bringing tacos to liam
and like they have the other like they
have their late nights she sure is
bringing tacos to liam she is definitely
well she's brought liam her her tacos
twice
are they carne asada
fish
oh my gosh
she brought her fish tacos
i hate this euphemism
so much
i'm so sorry also all i can think of is
like the intro to like colt 45. yes yes
good morning ladies with the fish market
okay so she like she katya brings
brings liam tacos not her fish
it's just like real tacos
like actual taco actual tacos um to him
at work and like and surprises him with
with lunch and then like his business
partner ricky's in the bathrooms like
she still hasn't met ricky
but like he's like oh like do you want
to meet him and she's like oh no it's
fine like i didn't mean to interrupt and
so they kind of leave and like
cute dates continue like so liam is way
more like the planner and wolf is way
more of like the i'm just gonna show up
at your place and be like why wouldn't
we be hanging out like
right i'm free
you go with me so why wouldn't we be
hanging out like she shows up at her
house and like for like chinese takeout
and like she gives them a manicure so
there are these like really sweet date
moments between them
but i also feel like they weren't
highlighted and represented enough in
the book so most of their interactions
that we read about are all like
he's kind of a little bit of a douche
and like kind of an [ __ ] but then
they're like more like these montagey
interactions where you're like oh like i
see
where they're
developing their friendship and their
relationship well but it doesn't seem
like the intention is to be sweet it
seems like the intention is like the way
you're describing it
it's not that he's like you know what i
had some time and i was thinking about
you so i picked up chinese so i could
come over to your house it was like
i'm free and kind of horny and was like
obviously katie's gonna be free i think
it's somewhere between the two like i
don't think it's like a i'm
i have nothing to do when i'm horny so
why wouldn't i be doing this right i
think it's like he does legitimately
like her but just like the way he like
processes and handles things and like
you learn more about like he had a lot
of like familial pressures on him
growing up and like his parents had a
nasty divorce and he had to like help
support his mom and like sisters and at
one point in the book even says he's
like they feel more like my daughters
than my sisters because there's like a
eight to ten year age difference between
them like he was financially supporting
them for a lot of this
um but yeah so like it just kind of
seems like he's it's more of like
just like neighborhood and claim it and
just more of like
yeah i want to see her so i'm going to
show up and obviously we're going to
hang out feels like more of the energy
than like i'm horny and have nothing to
do if that difference makes sense yeah
it does yes it does so we like we go on
this montage of like the she's she keeps
hanging out with both of them
i mean is she banging both of them well
that's what does that say she has
started to turn liam down and is like i
feel weird like i don't really like
think i like want to do anything else
with you i like
i don't feel like ethically i feel
like not comfortable with the both of
you and like i i'm developing stronger
feelings for him so i feel guilty like
more of that
sort of energy
i'm i'm apparently team liam because i
did not like that
i could tell you're like you're like
[ __ ]
actually don't [ __ ] him that's the
problem [ __ ] liam instead
apparently yes
so then like wolf and and katya have a
date planned and like he has to work
late
so he's like texting he's like just
coming up to my office instead so like
his assistant like lets her in then he
like
it's still like another hour or two and
it's just more of this thing where like
katya was like oh if he was gonna be
late she's like i mean like i went when
he said go but like i would have liked
to go home if we weren't gonna but she's
like yeah
really likes him and it just kind of
like goes with whatever he says
and then
in his like office and
on the conference table in the
conference room somewhere in his office
she like gives them a strip tease this
night and then they like bone all over
the office well good because she learned
all of these skills from the strip
aerobics class that liam signed her up
for thanks liam right like he's really
coming in clutch for her sexual
experiences with another man he is
coming in what a game but not her clutch
not her clutch not her fish taco
not her prison purse
oh
no
that's what happens when you work in
community mental health too long
you refer to a vagina as a prison purse
sure do
don't miss those days or those
i'm smells telling that for what it is
oh god you can't unsmell it you guys
any of it so like she gives him the
striptease and then like the next couple
scenes it's like
katya gets home and her roommate is
there and like in the middle of the day
and she realizes like her roommate is
unemployed and like lost her job but has
been like lying about it this whole time
and like felt bad and then katy's like
oh my gosh like i'm such a shitty best
friend and roommate cause i didn't even
notice because i've been so like
preoccupied with these bros so like
let's drink let's have a great time
let's like have a good night at night
yes and then she's like oh can you bake
me that cake and then katy is like no
because the [ __ ] oven in our
apartment is still broken and i keep
running our management company and i've
even mentioned it to liam and like
nothing's happening and she's just like
annoyed that she can't bake her roommate
a cake
because she's a baker she's a
professional baker with a waitlist who
has reached so you go to your bakery
dumbass honestly i was like you couldn't
go pick something up
this is literally what you do right like
i feel like you could have been more
resourceful than you chose to be
but instead you just chose to like get
[ __ ] faced with your roommate and that's
also a fine life choice you you couldn't
have cake you had alcohol
so like
we say as sipping our bota box
our
dark malbec
ripe rich and smooth
nighthawk black
argentina um bota box we are not
sponsored by buddha box but it'd be a
lot cooler if we were
as we sit here and continue to drink
from the box that also like y'all aren't
here with us but we have this box like
within like arm's reach so we can refill
on the go as needed throughout our
storytelling it is pretty uh vital to
our storytelling at this juncture
it really is
like
like alcohol isn't a necessity
but it does make this more fun
by a lot especially if you listen to the
master of salt and bones episode you
needed a lot of alcohol you needed more
alcohol than we had recording it
precisely and i know that because
halfway through recording it i went i
wish i had another alcohol
i wish i had another alcohol not another
drink another alcohol
i mean
chelsea tomato tomato
tomato tomato well done so
very quick tangent very early on dating
my husband he had text me and was trying
to say tomato tomato but because of the
same smelling i just read the text as
tomato tomato and then i was so confused
like why did he just disney tomato
tomato
he was saying tomato tomato
i get it now but yes if you ever see it
in in print it never makes sense unless
they add an h in the second one oh i
have seen that that did help but if you
just see tomato tomato no one reads that
and it's like tomato tomato i knew what
they meant no you read it as tomato
tomato and then you're confused
so apparently it worked for him so right
all right going back carrying um katya
is getting [ __ ] faced with her roommate
tori because tori lost her job
so she's trying to make her feel better
and she like calls wolf incessantly and
he like he's like you better be like
picks up like after like the seventh
time he's like you better be dying like
what the [ __ ] why do you keep calling me
and she's trash and she's like i i miss
you and like i'm well i'm going to see
my family and her family was like two
hours away
and carmel carmel carmel i don't know
how they pronounce it in california i
know different cities pronounce that
city differently so
carmel feels the most biblical
which isn't really the vibe of this book
and caramel feels the most delicious so
so
dealer's choice on how to proceed
but she's like she's like you won't even
see me for five days because i'm going
home to see my family but she's like
trash when she's like calling him so
then like the next day liam stops by her
place and is just like checking on her
and hanging out and she's packing
frantically because she's like i need to
i need to get ready i'm running late to
to head back to my hometown i imagine
she's a bit hungover yes um she's
hungover and just kind of frantically
doing all this she does ask liam to hire
her best friend tori at the sex club
because tori has a lot of hospitality
experience
and if there's one thing that's really
important at a sex club it is
hospitality well also i'm just gonna say
like
she ends up thriving and loving her job
there
but what really made me laugh was she
was like he was like well like i'll
start her like upstairs like we don't
start like on like the actual club floor
like you started like the bar upstairs
and then tori in the future is like
please i was up there for five minutes
but once it was clear like i have i'm
like a great waitress with a great rack
and i'm like good with a till they move
me downstairs and i'm like good with it
i was like to hand out water what
because that's all that's happening
downstairs you don't need a waitress
downstairs unless you're handing out
water and condoms and lube
which they have in each of the table
booths so you shouldn't need a waitress
for that right right unless
i i mean could you
could you order off the menu if you
wanted a bug plug or something like what
i don't remember a menu in the book but
that would be a great addition to the
sex club and honestly tori thrives so
much she ends up like becoming the gm
so like if anyone created a menu that
had butt plugs on it it would be tori
bringing that to the table
really creating her own job
good for her yes we love tori she's a
great hype woman she's a great best
friend
she has a future book
plot twist it's the book about liam's
twin yes
and that one is a journey holy [ __ ] i
forgot all the like i'm pretty like
there's like some human trafficking in
that one it's a it's a journey we'll
review that at a future date so
then
liam leaves
katy is trying to get everything ready
and then wolf suddenly like shows up at
her door and it's like
she's like i like i don't have time for
this like i'm like i need to like get a
car because i forgot to reserve a car
for my two-hour drive
and he's like you don't need a car i'm
driving you
and she's like what do you mean and he's
like no like i'm
i'm going home to see my family as well
so i told him i would drive you
and she's like okay and like they get
home and then like his mom has told
katya's mom like yeah like he decided he
was coming home after she announced that
like she was visiting
so like that's kind of sweet in its own
right like there's not a lot of
communication there but then like in the
future she's like why did you like come
come with me and he's like because five
days is a long time and you're like oh
like there's like these like
kind of sweet moments but the look on
hannah's face is like these are not
sweet and she's still very like it she's
very clearly team liam i don't like it
but like
well and i think if i'm remembering
correctly whoops mom isn't even in town
the first night like he's like oh i'm
gonna go home and visit my family but
like she's not even like his mom's not
even there yet so
like katya and her mom were gonna go out
to a nice dinner and he's like oh no
like that what that restaurant won't do
i'm gonna like cancel like that
reservation and give us a reservation at
this place that's like way nicer and way
better like the best place in town
and like
trying in his own right
and then she like sees him swimming from
her bedroom window and then it's like oh
this is like all of my childhood
fantasies when i was like watching him
swim and thought he was super hot but
like he was 18 when i was 12. so like
not a thing weird yeah so just like when
it's a crush that kind of energy and so
she's like yeah like all of this like
all of my childhood
dreams could be fulfilled here it's like
she goes and joins him in the pool
but there's just like a lot of like
is it is it like this with the other guy
like is he like this with you just in a
way where you're like
so it seemed like you were okay with
there being two dudes but like the way
you're acting
makes it feel like we're not actually
okay
with there being two dudes
and then kashia's mom is so excited that
she's home and because they live in like
the very rich burbs stop reading my
notes hannah i see you reading my notes
and laughing we'll get there i don't
even know which one you're reading i'm
hiding my notes from you at this point
hannah notes can no longer see my notes
okay she's laughing at all of them
they're amazing
i might take pictures of them in the
future
please do so we can post them on social
media later because they're fantastic
well so katya's mom decides to host a
barbecue because they're very popular in
their neighborhood and everyone is
excited to be invited to this barbecue
and because katy is home why wouldn't we
so then like
woof's mom helps host it because they're
neighbors like people are going like
between their yards but then katya gets
like all kinds of jealous because she
sees wolf like with his hand like with
his like arm around like this blonde
girl and she's like who the [ __ ] is this
hoe like not all about this life and
then i'm like you have also been [ __ ]
liam so let's keep this in perspective
but she like
is like i'm not about this like kind of
keeps drinking and then decides to like
go to bed early
and then liam sneaks in through her
bedroom window hmm it's very high school
right and he's like
oh like fulfilling all of your like
high school fantasies kind of energy
then like
they bone
in her childhood bedroom which like is a
weird energy to me yeah to be fair my
parents
have moved so often that was never an
option for me to bone in my childhood
bedroom
but i don't think i'd be into it yeah
right no
so
they bone and there's like she like she
wakes up and she's like oh like he's not
here and then like he was
downstairs making coffee and like talk
to her mom it's like her mom knows he
slept over and then like awkward yes but
it was also a big thing because he never
invites women to stay the night at his
apartment he's only had one woman ever
like stay the night and so
katya never stays stays the night they
never sleep together and so it was a
really big deal because he stayed and
slept over after he snuck into her
childhood bedroom
so she's like oh wow like what's
happening here like this is really
progressing and he like made coffee and
talked to my mom and so on and so forth
and then like they
they're hanging out she's drinking her
coffee and she like tells wolf like that
she has
substantial feelings for him and it's
like i'm like nervous because like i
think i like actually really do like you
and i don't really know what to do with
that
and he's like
okay thanks for telling me
and like it doesn't doesn't really
reciprocate
kind of as is his way and then they take
a nap and they they like fall asleep
and then when she wakes up he's sitting
there and like clearly looks like
he has some inner turmoil going on and
he's like i have a business deal in san
francisco i have to go back
and she's like oh okay oh yeah like no
that that's fine like no problem and
he's like i'll send a car for you she's
like no like don't worry about it like i
can get back myself and he's like i'll
send a [ __ ] car for you that's what i
said i was gonna do and she's like okay
fine i'll take care of all my car or
whatever
um so
like it kind of leaves awkward and
clumsy between them he leaves
and then she just like doesn't hear from
him
and so she's like hanging out with her
mom trying to stay busy they're like
hanging out and baking and having fun
she's like told her mom who's always
been a more conservative woman that
she's like seeing two men and her mom
was like oddly like
accepting of the idea and so then she's
like oh well like maybe like i don't
need to be as like uptight as i've
always been and like i've put this on
myself
so
she takes the car that he got
back
to
san francisco but like still doesn't
really like doesn't hear from him
there's no interaction or conversation
between them
then
liam decides to be really sweet because
he's liam and that's what he does
and
he takes like a kiddie pool and like
brings it up on the roof and so then
they can like sit
up on the roof and like put their feet
in the pool and hang out
and have this great time hashtag team
liam
yes so like that's happening while
oh if it's like ghosting her yeah
so has she tried to reach out to him at
this point and he's just not responding
yeah she definitely like gets trashed
and like
is very upset about all of this like
he's not responding to her i'm sensing a
pattern right and letting trash in
reaching out to wool
well twice
but feels like a pattern one more time
and it's a pattern
and also for the length of a book i
guess twice can still be a pattern so
like she's like puking everywhere and
like liam comforts her and is like the
sweet stand-up guy that like liam is and
so
um
i want to make sure i'm not getting out
of order here
yes so
then katya feels really bad that like
liam took care of her while she was like
puking crying over another dude so
she
like goes and was like talking with liam
and liam's like
i need to tell katya that i think i'm in
love with her because like i'm gonna
like shoot my shot i'm like i'm just
gonna go for it and then
like right as he's about to say it his
business partner calls ricky calls and
like they get into a fight and so katy
is like all right like i'm i'm kind of
leaving like you have whatever
conversation you need
so
then
we moved to a scene where katya is at a
wedding venue with one of her
baking clients
what are they called is there a more
official name than that i don't know
customers yeah like
a customer who had hired katya to make
her wedding cake and this is like a
super affluent customer
she and it's like a customer like you're
rooting for for i think her name is
lauren she has like
four kids and her husband had died and
so she'd been like working alone and
then met
this man who had like obscene amounts of
money and just like worships the [ __ ]
out of her so like i don't know if they
have a book i would totally read it if
they did i'm like what uh what a fun
little i'm like i'm really rooting for
the side character here
so they're at the venue talking about
the cake and talking about like where it
will go and all of those details
katya still has not heard from wolf
through all of this
so
i'm sure we're all surprised that wolf
walks in to this venue while she's
working while she's working with some
business associates
and like they're doing their thing and
she's doing hers and she sees him as
like what in the actual [ __ ]
oh my stars
tell me because i think i know
so
she goes and is like hey can we
like can we talk like it's like trying
to engage with him and he's just like
a
straight up
dick the entire time is he the crew
he's not the groom okay he i really
thought he was gonna be the girl no i
really thought he was gonna be there
that would have been the oh my god oh no
the coup de gras right no we are rooting
for lauren the side character bride she
is not with wolf
but like he's a dick and like she's like
you like what happened like where did
you go and he's like i don't you want
from me like i met your mother i was
like i've been kind to you i drove you
home i let you [ __ ] some other guy while
we like this whole like i let you
yeah i let you [ __ ] some other guy like
you were the doll girl next door like
go so like essentially is like calling
her like a naive [ __ ]
for all of this and she's like naive
[ __ ] feels like an oxymoron though
you know and yet still applicable to
katya
because like she is very naive
well if you guys can hear brandon he
doesn't like the sound outside brandon
is chelsea's yes brandon is my dog he
he hears some sort of sound that he is
not chill with right now and keeps
barking a little bit
um so if you hear it
sorry i don't
he's he's going to town he thinks he's a
lot bigger than he is as he sits here he
also
has an anxiety marking problem so he
wears diapers so like i don't know
watching a dog with a diaper bark at
something doesn't really feel as
intimidating as he's going for and to be
fair he is larger than most pugs he has
a bigger body he is a bigger bodied pug
i actually i actually remember thinking
that when we went to pick him up and he
was like the cutest little like chunk
and i was a junk but i remember seeing
his parents and being like oh they're
like
bigger pugs like he's not gonna be a
dainty buddy he's gonna be
a chunky boy and that's boy
b-o-i-e-i-i-i
it sure is right chunky boy
yikes please don't ever do that again i
can't guarantee i won't but i also
didn't enjoy it when i did it
so
he's like i let you [ __ ] some other guy
you're like you were the dull girl next
door like did you really think you were
special did you think you were my
girlfriend and she gets so pissed she
takes the cake from the cake tasting and
throws it at him good for her and then
they get in a full cake fight in front
of his like like he was there with some
clients who were looking to buy this
venue
she's there with lauren and they're in a
full-on
cake fight so to be clear in chelsea's
notes and says can't find underlined
with an exclamation point but i swear to
christ i thought it said cockfight
which is why i was laughing it was a
flavor of the cake
what was your wedding cake flavor
coffee
i have a lot of questions of what that
flavor would be
chicken ours our wedding cake was
chocolate orange oh i like it i love
chocolate orange i make a really
excellent chocolate orange brownie
actually oh
i accept
you did an offer just letting you know
whenever the time presents itself i
accept noted
um so
yes there's this whole cake fight it
like they get separated
and then like wolf leaves and then like
it does cut to a scene where wolf is
like [ __ ] man that got really out of
hand i feel really bad for all the [ __ ]
i did but like
what can i do now i'm like that's like
very like this like self-deprecating
tone where he's like
i'm like bad news and i knew like she
would ultimately leave me so like i
needed to like make she deserves better
yes like i need to like make her leave
me before
before she left herself and then i was
sad and alone so like i feel better
about how this played out this way right
ugh so
um then she's like crying on on the roof
afterwards and like liam comes up and
like checks on her and is like yeah tori
called me because your boss called your
roommate because like the then you
called your boss because you got an a
cake fight
in their venue big yikes right
and so
she's just sitting there and she's like
he was so mean to me like i can't
believe these the things that he said
like i'm i'm not gonna waste another
thought on like on wolfrickstone that
feels like a lie
you are you are correct
absolutely you are correct
so
like liam like doesn't really respond
outside of just like sitting there and
like being encouraging and like being
supportive
and then
he asks her out on a date because he's
like i like i really like you i know
this is like a weird time i know this is
a weird place i really think i could be
good for you like
will you please give me a chance
and so she says yes to going out on this
date with liam even though like she's
like i feel like i'm gonna be
disappointed and i don't like it
just wait
you might still be disappointed but but
we're just gonna prolong the
disappointment
and then also like her boss calls her
and is like you work so hard and you've
never taken a break so why don't you
take a paid sabbatical for a little
while because the cake fight indicates
that you need a [ __ ] moment also
what a generous bakery i don't know if
i've ever heard of like a baker getting
a sabbatical i mean it is california
you right
the 23 year old baker working so i'm
like yes she's
she's put in so many years to this
to she's worked she needs a sabbatical
at 23 but that's just me being an
[ __ ]
so she goes on this date with liam
i'm like bless it it's it's so painful
to read because he's so sweet he cares
so much like
and she's just like not into it and like
he like tries to like like kiss her at
one point and she's like like made me
nauseous and just like
is really like i'm like struggling and
like is like i'm sorry like this this
date isn't ending with a happy ending
like this date is ending when we get
back to our apartment and he's like
the sweet angel baby he is and it's like
super understanding and realistic about
it so i'm really sad so she is like i
need to just like go and sort my
thoughts out and so she just like leaves
the apartment building like hops on a
train and just like isn't really
thinking and just like
wanders and wanders and then
gets off the train and walks and walks
and then it's like i'm gonna burn it
down i've never seen before luckily it's
a very affluent part of town it's a very
safe part of town but she like walks and
is like
at this park and there's a fountain and
does she get in the fountain i don't
remember she gets wet at some point and
does she sure she does
that she does
um yeah but i like i don't remember if
she fell into the fountain or
if she thought it looked nice so she
stepped into the fountain to cool off
whatever but so she's like in this park
and just like lost to her thoughts and
being like oh no what am i gonna do
and then suddenly she hears someone like
what the [ __ ] are you doing here and lo
and behold like
woof is there [ __ ] that guy right and so
he's like what in the actual like why
are you here
like
and she's like why are you here and he's
like well this is where i live and she's
like i didn't [ __ ] know that because
you never invited me to your apartment
so like how would i know you lived on
this side of town and then like he
starts being kind of flirty and he's
like just like come back to my apartment
with me like we'll talk about this and
he's like no i'm not going anywhere with
you you dick and then like it like
escalates and he's like no like you are
coming back with me and so
consent matters
to everyone except wolf well but like he
gets very like
like no
you're gonna come home with me because
i'm who you belong to like just this
very like
weird she well and like her dress got
wet and so then he like gives her his
dress shirt to put over it and then he's
like very much just like i don't want
anyone seeing what's mine and she's like
what do you mean what's yours because
like
you told me i was a naive [ __ ] and the
dull girl next door
and threw cake at me and he's like yeah
we were both at fault and like the
situation she's like i could have pissed
on the floor of that venue and i would
still be a less fault than for how you
handled that situation good for her
right and so then he's like
[ __ ] this like throws her over his
shoulder and it's like you're coming
back to my apartment with me that's very
caveman and we're not into it right but
then like but as he's doing this he's
making like there's this like tension
this push and pull where he's like i'm
like i'm no good for you i'm a bad man
and just like she's like what
and so
then they have a heart to heart and they
like start to have some like real
breakthrough conversations because she's
realizing like oh no he just like did
that to self-sabotage because he thinks
he's not good for me and so like she's
like very willing to just like
readily accept him back and because he's
definitely gonna be disappointed so well
and so like
when they were in the park he was like i
have like a 8 a.m conference call
tomorrow morning i can't be out all
night just come the [ __ ] home with me
it's like they stay up late all night
talking and like engaging like
reconnecting and like really clearing
the air between them and then when she
wakes up he's there
like walks in with coffee for her and
she's like i thought you had a
conference call and he's like no i'm
where i need to be like this is more
important
and so
they like have this very long reunion
it's
they decide that like they're together
and moving forward and
so then
i don't know if it's that day or the
next day but at some point he's like hey
like i gotta go
i have a business meeting i need to make
it to but like
it's just like a investment i need to
clear up and then i'll be back like this
shouldn't take long it'll only be a
couple hours cool cool he's like will
you be here when i get home and she's
like yep absolutely i'm not going
anywhere
and so then while he's gone she starts
to feel really guilty about liam and so
she's like i need to go talk to liam and
clear the air and just like explain and
like not leave him out of no men's line
like i owe him that some closure exactly
for my poor sweet precious liam
true
and so
katya it's like all right well
i i can go to the garden and like have
this conversation with
with liam before wolf would even get
back so i'm gonna go run and do that
really fast oh no and
is he at the garden
yes it's not
i don't i don't think this is where you
think it's going though oh no
um this is about the part where
if you don't want
the ending of this book to be ruined for
you you should probably
stop listening now and just go
experience it for yourself um
but if you don't mind it being ruined
i'm going to continue so
she goes
and katya
gets down
onto the basement level where his
offices are and then she is
through his office door
she is like hearing a conversation and
then realizes it's woof and liam
in the same room talking and like being
like i got there first like talking
about this competition like they were
trading stories
and so then you hear me like well fine
like all if you don't tell her i will
and so then like katie's like sitting
outside the door like what the [ __ ] like
trying to process what all has been
happening
and
um
liam calls her to be like because he'd
been like if you don't tell her i will
and so then her phone starts ringing and
like they hear it and then she opens the
door she's like i would have answered
but like
i'm here
and then she realized
so
um wolfrick
stone
goes under the name richard
mason
wolfrick
ricky
stone
mason
yep we see and so
they were business partners
all along
and
that's terrible so when she dropped
tacos off and his business partner was
in the bathroom
it was
who was there
knowing who she was and then she's
realizing like they're like no it's like
well no it started
when it started it was just funny
because like he saw you on the dating
site and then like we were kind of
trading stories and then she's like oh
she was like oh so
i [ __ ]
liam on the club floor and we had anal
then the next day woof showed up to her
bakery and like starts putting together
all of these pieces
and
then she also finds out
that
um
masonry management who's a subsidiary of
one of wolf's companies is her property
management company so then she's pissed
that her oven still hasn't been
this entire time jesus christ yes like
she runs out and is like i need to get
the [ __ ] out of here and like they
follow her and they're like we'll take
you we're so sorry like like like as
she's like so this is what you did like
when you say it that way it sounds
really bad so when i say what you did it
sounds like yes but like and they're
like well at some point like stop
becoming a game and it like stopped
becoming fun and we like both actually
had feelings for you and like it became
very real and she's like
[ __ ] both of you
i'm not into this and then she's like
i'm i'm out of here and so liam is like
i'll take you home and the wolf is like
i'll drive you and she's like both of
you need to get the [ __ ] away from me
i'm not going anywhere with you so then
jan the bouncer
shows up
jam
jan
j hey n not jam
but honestly that's an even better name
so jan the bouncer shows up and he's
like you all need to get the [ __ ] away
from her wouldn't it be yawn if it's a
man
only if he's swedish
i've never thought about it of all of
the details that is the least important
i feel like you're getting caught up on
the wrong details
so yawn shows up
and is like
you all need to get the [ __ ] away from
her and please tell me she ends up with
yawn
no she does not but liam's like i'm your
boss and he's like i don't give a [ __ ]
like you're a deplorable human being and
if i see you talk to her again or like
treat her like this like
like i'm throwing bows or to quote
hannah you're gonna catch these hands
i haven't heard you say it in a while so
just need to bring it full circle thank
you um it's like jan takes her home
drops her off with her roommate she's
still on the sabbatical from the bakery
at this point
isn't paid it is a page maker he
sabbatical i'm in the wrong business
right
i definitely
have underestimated the baking industry
if i knew i got a paid sabbatical
after a cake fight
just saying not a [ __ ] fight they're
different and not a [ __ ] fight a cake
fight
so
john
drops her off with her roommate make
sure she's okay
and then
katya like wakes up in the middle of the
night
and is like [ __ ] all this [ __ ] and so
she like puts on all this makeup and
puts on like these like [ __ ] clothes
um or just more revealing than donna
karen if you will which is really any
clothes right that's a low bar
right at one point she was like
someone's like are you wearing that
she's like it's j crew
i'm like
girl have some self-respect no offense
to j.crew or donna karen you all do
great work for more specific audiences
we don't live like i'm currently wearing
an alice cooper t-shirt where he is
biting the head off a bird and has blood
dripping out of his mouth so donna karen
is not my aesthetic
in all fairness no it is not
so she takes these like new sexy photos
and then
uploads them and reactivates her arrows
dating profile good for her and is like
i'm taking control of my life
and then
her roommate walks out i was like
everything okay she's like yeah let's go
back to bed
and that's how the book ends on that
cliffhanger are you [ __ ] kidding me i
am not [ __ ] kidding you that is the
end of neighbors
i hate that
when will you stop recording will you
please tell me who she ends up with i
will thank you yes i will i will tell
you or i could just review
the second book which i think is called
neighborhood
there's neighbors neighborhood um
there's four so the first two are
clearing up this whole love triangle
um and then the third book is about
the one she doesn't end up with and like
their new love connection okay
who is woof's assistant is the
main like interesting interest in that
one and then the fourth book is about
liam's twin and the roommate tori cool
with the human trafficking or whatever
the [ __ ] happens
drug running i don't fully remember
something of that capacity that's a
that's a review for a future time so yes
that is the cliffhanger of neighbors i
can't believe you just did that the
ultimate love triangle that honestly
doesn't really feel like a love triangle
like it's that's why i said it's kind of
love triangle and it's kind of not
because there are two dudes involved but
she's clearly like
leaning towards woof the entire time
it's like oh like there's a connection
there like she views like liam as more
of a best friend yeah i hate that but
then ultimately both of them betrayed
her
yes they did but like when you start to
think through like the conversation
where liam was like i knew like she'd
like ultimately leave me and i was or
like the conversation with wolf where he
was like i knew like she'd ultimately
leave me and like was i'm no good for
her so i just wanted to pull the plug
before she could
and like that whole conversation and
energy
because then she's like no like i like i
won't leave you i'll fight for you and
then like all this [ __ ] happens and then
i'm like oh damn girl you played
yourself
she did she did
so
yeah we'll have to review
the next book at a future date and time
if i'm being completely honest
i feel like the second book could have
been a novella instead of like a full
book
um
so there is that where i was kind of
like cool this didn't
the second book feels like messier yeah
like we didn't have to do so much yes
exactly yeah
but
um so yes it starts with a
dating profile where she's wearing her
very conservative clothing and ends up
having anal in a sex club and then it
ends with her finding out two dudes have
been playing her this entire time who
are both super into her
but neither of them have been honest
and into her in different ways clearly
yes like they have she has a very
different relationship with liam than
she has
for sure and i think that's a hard thing
is like oh it's not it's not the same
relationship
but like
liam is just like very lovable
yeah and wolf is very like hard yeah
but then also
like
the entire book kind of feels like it's
leaning towards like she's like oh i
just have this like innate connection
with wolf yes that's how you say it
wolf
yes so she has like this full
relationship
with him but like when like
so and i forgot to mention when she's
overhearing her conversation liam is
like i saw her first
and
woof is like
she was my neighbor in childhood so
technically you didn't and then when her
phone starts ringing like she opens the
door and she's like
technically wolf is right we've been
neighbors since i was five so he has he
would have dibs like just this like
really like shitty like like
yes i don't i don't like that like i
don't know like women are not for dibs
dude like i once had a dude i like had
all right i had this ex-boyfriend
we we broke up
and then like stayed in that like weird
best friendship where like
we weren't dating but then like no one
else
could date either of us because we were
still always together but we weren't a
couple and so at one point someone had
been like oh yeah well like you and
whoever and i was like i don't like we
are nothing anymore they're like what
you're not
and i'm like no
and this fool literally went dibs to my
face i was like that is not how this
works
if you are interested that is not how we
communicate that you guys did like no
consent matters
consent matters you can't just call dibs
i didn't think i had to say that out
loud in 2022. jesus christ if ever there
was a time you needed to say it out loud
it probably is 20 22.
oh god am i laughing or crying oh that's
fair so unfortunately this i feel like
this one ended with a little bit more
of a downer in this cliffhanger um but
we can circle back
in the future if you guys would like to
know what happens if you're like no
everyone in this book sucks
i'm also not offended and we don't have
to we don't have to venture back here
yeah your feedback matters let us know
guys your feedback matters your feelings
matter you matter
so on that note we love you
thanks for listening
um
i guess really fast we didn't
we didn't rate this one
oh
so how many cupcakes
what flavor are the cupcakes
oh no in the book they were angel food
cupcakes well i was going to say what
are [ __ ] flavored
okay
i'm going to rate this book
six and a half out of ten
no not and a half i take back my half
six six out of ten
[ __ ] flavored cupcakes
a solid sixty percent what kind of
frosting
oh
like what kind of what kind of frosting
goes with [ __ ]
cream cheese
i hated everything about that holy [ __ ]
i hate you right now
chocolate frosting is ever better
there's no wind here you wrote anal with
an underline and an exclamation point it
can't be chocolate frozen
um
it also
yeah you know it can't be a lot of
things
it can't be vanilla for obvious reasons
but do we want cream cheese no so what
we don't have vanilla or chocolate or
cream cheese strawberry
maybe a nice meringue
we just put a meringue on top
we'll go with the meringue tell me about
the [ __ ] flavored cupcakes with meringue
it's six out of ten is it
i'm so ready to be done with
five and a half five and a half [ __ ]
flavored cupcakes with mares
yo my cheeks hurt so bad i can't and on
that note we love you thank you for
being here thank you for joining us for
this um what what frosting flavor would
you choose
we love you guys so much thank you and
good night good night