(upbeat music)
80s.
If you are Gen X.
If you grew up in the 80s,
you sat backwards in a station wagon.
Yeah, I--
Probably wood paneled.
So, and it smelled like barf.
And you said, "Roll down the window."
Yeah.
That big one window.
Did you name your
cars when you were a kid?
No, I talked to my shoes,
but I didn't name my cars.
The cost for mistakes for this generation
is way worse than the
cost for mistakes in cars.
But it is a beep to put up and down.
(laughing)
I want everyone to just
have my Pollyanna type life
that I had.
Natural factory setting right now.
Have you ever thought
about being on a paper towel?
I think about it all the time.
Girls learn from a really young age
how to play the game.
Boys have no idea
there's a game in people.
So you're not rowing
in the middle of swans,
but that's all right.
Everybody's already hung up anyways, so.
Vinnie?
Welcome to the Mr. and
Mrs. English podcast.
I'm Megan.
And I'm Sean.
We're here to talk about
the wild ride of raising kids,
growing careers, keeping life together
in the middle of all the chaos.
So buckle up,
because we're all in
this crazy journey together.
Bippity boppity, bippity boppity boop.
Boop.
I got it right that time.
Last time you called me on it, it was
bippity boppity boop.
I know, I had the call out to Cinderella.
Cheers.
All right, we're
actually on a weekend now.
We're on a weekend.
I feel like we were just doing this.
We did, we just did
it like three days ago.
But three days can be
like a week sometimes.
Or a millennia.
In our, I don't know,
anyone in our phase of life,
I feel like sometimes those three days
or whatever it's been, four days.
Whoa, that was just four days ago?
Yeah.
But it wasn't that bad for me.
Was it for you though?
They were pretty busy days.
Yeah, you had some busy work days.
Yeah, it was just busy work days.
Lots of, yeah.
This weekend was not
nearly as busy as last weekend,
which nopes a little bit.
We got to be productive instead.
And now we get to
enjoy, we get to imbibe.
Get to imbibe again.
I'm actually having an amaretto sour
because it's about a
thousand degrees in the studio.
Yes it is.
It's really hot in here.
That is one thing we don't talk about
is that the equipment in
here makes it very hot.
Yeah, it gets the morning sun there.
So it's the afternoon now,
but it is still very warm in here.
Quite warm.
It's got a lowered ceiling in it.
Not that anybody cares,
but I think that blocks some of the AC.
Oh I see.
Because they don't bring it down to that.
Yeah.
It's part of it too.
I'm sure that's part of it.
If we start sweating
halfway through this,
now you know why.
(laughing)
Yeah.
Or sweating already, starting already.
Maybe.
Yeah.
It's quite warm, but that's okay.
We're used to it being warm.
Whereas we live in Texas
and we have not had many 100 degree days.
No.
Here?
No, everybody will
sweat through their shirt.
You just kind of get used to it.
Yeah, people are
sweating through their shirts
at the grocery store or
shopping for avocados.
Whatever it might be.
Yeah, they had to walk in somehow.
That's right.
You know?
I remember visiting my aunt Tana
when I was younger, right?
With my mom, we'd come down.
When we lived in
Colorado, they still lived here.
And I just thought this
was like hell on earth.
It was so hot.
You said, you made the comment,
like moving, going from
the car to like indoors.
At that point, I was in
high school or younger
and I would just be like
dripping sweat in those 30 feet.
I just, I literally thought
Dallas was like, you know,
a living hell.
It was so hot here, but
I hadn't been to Houston.
Yeah, I know.
And then you went to Houston.
And then I went to Houston, yeah.
How people live in Houston, good night.
I do not know.
Like I won't go there.
I don't, well, I have to, but it's just,
I was like, I just waste
time trying to make my hair
look nice or whatever.
Cause I am just drenched in sweat.
Just walking to a car.
Yeah, which is, it's
more of a way of life
down here, unfortunately.
Yeah.
That's right.
Oh my gosh.
But not as much this weekend.
So it was kind of nice.
We got some things done.
Yeah, so people that
have been to our house,
speaking of that hot summer,
we have instead of
getting a pool membership
or something like that, we ended up-
Which we did.
Oh, we did have that too.
But we found it too hard
because we were working
during the day so we
couldn't take the kids to the pool
like during the day.
Yeah.
Cause we had to drive.
That's right.
So the background here
is we rented the house
across the street from
the lot that we bought
to build a house on, the
one that we're living in now.
And so it's a two acre lot here.
And so what we thought was,
you know what we're gonna do,
let's just buy, like, it's gonna like,
we started with the idea
of like a blow up pool.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So the kids just kind of come over here.
Long and the short of it is
if you've been to our house,
we have like, I mean,
this is a party city level,
jumpy blow up slide.
It's an inflatable water slide.
It's what, 20 feet?
Yeah, it was really hard.
Inflatable water slide, two words on it.
I had a really difficult
time trying to find that word.
It's okay, it's heat exhaustion, honey.
Those words it is.
It was a hot day.
Anyway, so I look forward
to, I don't look forward to,
every year, if we put
it up into our pool.
So when we did it over here,
initially it has a
little pool at the end of it
that we all broke our
ankles, cause you fly down it.
It's like, it's like 20 feet high.
If you've been in it,
it's like 15, 20, 18 feet,
something like that.
Something like that, yeah.
And it's fast, it's fun.
I mean, it's fun.
It's a blast, adults, children alike.
But it blasted this little pool.
The first time I did it that time,
I literally, I felt like
I broke both my ankles,
cause I just launched six
feet across in this little pool.
It didn't have water in it yet.
Super hard, dead grass.
Like, swimming.
Yeah, so that didn't help either.
You were gonna break your ankles
or your tailbone by landing?
Like, yeah.
So now, we set it up, it's perfect.
We set it up to go, and we built,
literally, I designed
the patio in the pool
so that we could inflate this
and have it up all summer long,
and you can just go down the slide
straight into the pool.
And we put it up every summer since then.
If you've been to a
soccer party at the house,
the kids have been on it, it's fun.
It's fun for parents, I mean, jeez,
we spent a lot of time on it.
Oh yeah.
Until your knee, you didn't this year.
Right.
But it is a beep to put up and down.
(laughing)
Right, it takes a lot
of time, a lot of effort.
Yes.
Yeah, I made a reel about it this year.
We're getting better at it.
Yes.
But it takes, it's effort.
This year, we cleaned
it, we had to wash it.
Anyways, so that's what we did.
With our downtime,
that's what we did today.
Yep, and we both have a
sunburn back because of it.
Yeah, that's right, at the end of August.
I know, but it's worth it.
That thing is so fun.
Yeah, it is.
Sorry, you didn't get to go down it.
We didn't have it up
since you got the green light.
So.
It does make me a
little motion sick though,
if I stay up there.
You get so motion sick
so easily, it's crazy.
I know.
Is that happening at an older age?
Or have you just always had that?
I've always gotten motion sick, but yeah,
something like this would
have never done that for me.
Sorry, my ring keeps on thinking.
I always got motion
sick on certain things.
I can't read in cars, right?
Unless I'm driving, if I'm driving,
I can totally read, that's fine.
But in the passenger
seat, I cannot read it,
I'll get a car sick, big time.
(laughing)
I don't even know where to go.
I think most people are like that though.
You can do whatever you can in the car,
while you're driving,
doesn't get car sick.
But on the cruise, you really
had tough time on the cruise,
because when we got to the land,
you felt like you were on the cruise.
I never once felt that.
Yeah, I would get on land, I'd be like,
but I was great on the cruise.
And for like three weeks,
you felt it afterwards too.
Yeah, I did, I totally felt like I was.
I don't know if that's the norm or not.
I've never felt that way.
But maybe that is normal,
but I think you're a
little sensitive to that.
It's that inner ear thing.
Oh yeah, yeah, I've always,
like I used to get car
sick when I was a kid.
And we had the station wagon,
where the seats faced backwards.
Oh, you didn't, I mean, come on.
You are a Gen X.
If you grew up in the 80s,
you sat backwards in a station wagon.
Probably wood paneled.
And you said, roll down the window,
you had that big one window.
I know, yeah.
That you could just dive out.
That was so not safe.
It was like one year
after they mandated seat belts
in a car.
I know.
Like a grown human could
climb out of that window.
Like it didn't even have to be a kid
being stupid in the back seat anyway.
There's a reason why we say
we are a strong generation.
Yeah, we did not.
My brother got, like
he got, like his head,
he was sticking his head out the window
and my dad was rolling up the window
and he got his head stuck,
but no one ever actually
tried to jump out in my family.
Yeah, surprising.
You know, they're
adventure seekers, but yeah.
Usually it was me in the
back with one of my siblings.
Yeah, so I would always
have to take Dramamine.
I think I've talked about that on here.
Dramamine in the car, in the back.
Yeah.
Or road trips though.
Or road trips.
Not to school.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, yeah.
Road trips, like anytime we
went to our grandparents house
or yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's the percent I had to take Dramamine.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
We've talked about road
trips in here though, right?
Like we're on this
show, haven't we before?
We're, we'd all just roll.
I mean, the greatest thing about those
was you just put all the seats down
and we'd just lay out sleeping bags
and we would just sleep back there
on 18 hour road trips to Michigan.
That was fantastic.
Waking up at 2 a.m. in the gas stations.
There's just, there's
an ambiance, you know,
and just a nice feel
of getting up at 2 a.m.
at a gas station.
Yeah.
Iowa.
We didn't do the all nighters.
Maybe Nebraska.
We would stop and stay somewhere like,
my parents were not doing
what your parents were doing
where they're just switching
drivers while on a highway.
Yeah.
That's a little bit of that nature
nurture thing for me,
right?
(laughing)
That's probably a little bit of nurture.
That's a lot of nurture.
We gotta get there.
Oh, wow.
No time to waste.
There's no time to--
We're in a hotel.
We can't even pull
over to switch drivers.
Like, we're gonna do it while driving
70 miles an hour on a highway.
It's so funny that they did that.
At 30 seconds.
Thank God for cruise control, that
allowed them to do it.
They put cruise control
into that vehicle, I believe.
It did not come with cruise control.
Cruise control.
That first station wagon.
Oh, I'm pretty sure ours did not have--
Yeah.
Did you name your
cars when you were a kid?
No.
No?
That's a thing, that's a you thing.
Okay.
My family always named their cars.
I talked to my shoes,
but I didn't name my cars.
(laughs) You introduced your shoes to the school?
Yeah.
Like--
Yeah.
But yeah, my mom always named cars.
Anyway, Pegasus was the
name of the station wagon,
but I don't think Pegasus had--
It's a lot to live up to.
(laughs)
I don't think Pegasus had cruise control.
Pegasus.
Yeah, she called it--
She should have a
transformer or something.
She called it Peggy.
Peggy, yeah.
It was so ugly, and it smelled like barf.
(laughs)
Like that car reeked.
There are two facts
to know about this car.
Its name is Pegasus Short Peggy.
Number two, it smelled like barf.
It totally did.
Awesome.
I wonder what happened in that car.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't recall throwing up in the car.
No.
I think so.
I mean, my mom would
literally refer to the car as,
oh, just go gettin' Peggy, you know?
Yeah.
I don't know that my
dad's cars had names, though.
Maybe it was just in my mom thing.
Could be.
If I unpack this a little bit.
Could be.
It's a therapy session.
Yeah, interesting.
Yeah.
Or not.
No, I'm just kidding.
Snoozer.
No, it's not at all, not at all.
You were bringing up earlier,
you said something
about just the differences
between when we were growing up
and our kids were growing up, right?
We were talking about that earlier,
just how we face some of
the very same challenges
and some that are just
very, very different.
Yeah.
And just how hard it is
to deal with those things.
Right.
And I think some of
it is you never realize
that your parents went
through some of the same stuff
that you could be going through.
Different context, maybe.
Slightly different, but at the same time,
I think kids just
assume that their parents,
I don't know, that
they were always mature
and that they always, you know, like.
Yeah.
That they didn't go
through the same rite of passage
that the kids go through.
Yeah, it's one of those roll
your eyes at us type moments.
You know, like, oh, I
know you've been there
and now you did this.
When you were a kid, you know.
Yeah.
But it's like, so hard, you want,
you're like, yeah, I have actually.
And I feel like we
should, I could help you.
Right.
They don't want to hear it.
No.
You know, and it's like, I know,
sometimes you just got to learn it.
It's like the school of hard knocks.
Yeah.
Like, I know, dad, but let
me just fall and break my leg.
Yeah.
Like, well, don't.
Yeah, don't.
First of all, that costs me money.
Second off.
Doesn't it always?
It's a lot of pain for you.
Yeah.
Right.
But we try to, you
know, some of these things
that they go through, I mean, today,
I don't know, some of
them are exactly the same.
Like, we have a kid right now that's,
you know, as you mature,
and this is what I was telling them,
was like, look, and
they're different than I was.
And I don't want to
get too specific here,
because it's, you know,
it's a little fresh still,
but it's, you know, when I was younger,
I was very shy, everybody knows that I,
that watches this
regularly, painfully shy.
Like, I don't know if
I've said this on here,
but like, in
kindergarten, I didn't go play,
like when it was
playtime, I stood by the teacher
in kindergarten, because I was so shy.
I don't understand, I
don't remember being that shy.
I knew I was shy, but I
don't remember being that shy.
But I didn't have, I didn't
make a lot of close friends,
because I was so shy.
You know, so I got a little bit old.
I mean, I knew a lot of people,
I was friendly with a lot of people.
But I always had like, I was never like,
I never had like 20 friends.
You know, I would have one
or two really good friends,
and then the seasons would change,
and I'd have another one
or two really good friends,
you know, but as I got older,
and we talked about this a little bit,
you know, those friends,
you kind of start
sharpening your pencil, right?
That's a great way to say it.
On who you choose to kind
of spend that time with,
and who those real close friends are.
And I think some of our
kids are going through that.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's, it takes a
lot of maturity to see it
from the perspective of, it's okay,
I'm, you know, growing
up, this is what I like.
And maybe this person
doesn't like that as much as I do,
but this is something
that's really important to me.
And so I'm going to
continue to grow in that way.
And if you don't, it's okay
then that we don't, you know.
And maybe we're not as close.
That we're not as
close, that's exactly right.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and I was, I was lucky.
I don't know if it's
lucky or unfortunate.
I didn't really have
too many close friends.
I had one close
friend and she definitely,
probably more like, she
was a year older than me.
So it was pretty
natural that we grew apart.
She was really into
marching band and, you know,
I was never played marching.
You were not.
I was not.
Like, and so we eventually grew apart,
but, you know, other
friends definitely came in
and then they were like my staples.
I know there's a lot of people that I'm still friends with,
but it was always such
a small circle for me.
But once, like, it
was like sophomore year,
freshman sophomore year, it like
solidified my good friends.
Yeah, yeah.
But before that it was
like, okay, maybe for a year
it was, you know, this couple.
And then with a different year,
it'd be like another
couple girls, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
And you're right,
because you made the point
that it was very mature of this child
to see this from a
perspective at a young age of,
it might be okay, you know, I mean,
they're disappointed, I think,
but they also understand that it's not
the end of the world.
That's why I was telling them, you know,
we went to a therapist once,
and this helped me a ton,
I don't know if I've
mentioned it on this before or not,
but he told me that,
you know, it's okay to identify people
by how much they fill your cup, right?
So for instance, you as
my wife, my best friend,
you fill my cup 100%, right?
I know, I put everything in there, right?
You fill 100.
Whereas there's other people in my life
that maybe they only fill my cup 75%,
or maybe they only fill my cup 10%.
But once I identify what
that is that they are to me,
now I'm not expecting
that other 90% out of them.
So they're not letting me
down, I'm not feeling let down,
I'm not feeling like they're,
like I need more from that,
because that's all I'm
expecting from that, you know?
And I was trying to, you know,
I've passed that along to our kids,
because I think that was, you know,
that was an epiphany
moment for me, you know,
of just like, it's okay that not
everybody has to be 100%.
And that's what I was saying,
that kind of goes
back to when I was a kid,
like when I was all
in, I was all in, man.
You were like, we're best
friends, we're best friends.
You know what I mean?
And it's not like I was like suffocating.
But it was like, hey, we're best friends,
we're, you know, like I'm
gonna go to your house today,
you're gonna come over to my house today,
you know what I mean?
That sounds like very
suffocating, but you know,
in a healthy way.
But I was always very focused on that.
Whereas as I'm older now,
it's like, you know what,
I can have a friend
that's like, you know, 25%.
We're not gonna hang out all the time.
But when I see you,
man, you're a great kid,
you're a great person.
Yeah.
You know what I mean, type thing.
Mm-hmm.
I was that way too, like, I don't know,
I was really shy and I will never forget,
I think I've told you
this, I had one lunch,
we had a weird rotating schedule.
And I had nobody in
that lunch that I knew.
Nobody.
Imagine an entire lunchroom full of kids,
and I didn't know one about it.
What grade is this?
Paint the picture a little bit.
That was eighth grade.
Eighth grade, okay.
Eighth grade.
Yeah, three.
And it just so happened that--
A number of years.
There was a girl in the,
I mean, I hated this day,
because every seven days or
whatever, I had this lunch,
and it was just like, just sit by myself.
And it's kind of, I
mean, it's embarrassing,
because you don't
want to sit by yourself.
I'll never forget though,
that there was one other girl
that sat by herself too.
And so one day, we just
happened to sit across
from each other at the same table.
It turns out that
later, like two years later,
we ended up, she was one of the twins.
And my high school
best friends were twins.
And it was just, it
took another two years
for us to become
super, super good friends.
Yeah, those were tough years.
I mean, seventh, eighth, ninth grade,
I mean, those were formative years.
And those are big deals.
I mean, I remember, you
know, cafeteria, where you sit,
who you sit with,
those are all big things.
I mean, I would have,
luckily I was friends with,
you know, all the sports
guys or whatever it was.
I had plenty of friends.
Like I said, I always
knew lots of people,
and I was friendly with lots of people.
But I think, I may have
mentioned it on here before too,
I don't know, I know you
and I have talked about it,
but I always felt like
people thought I was stuck up,
because I was, I was
known for being an athlete,
for being a top athlete.
So I think a lot of people, because I
didn't talk to them,
and I had that kind of side to my life,
I think they thought I
was too good for everybody.
Like, oh, I'm Mr.
All-Star this, I'll state this.
I'm not taught, I don't talk to people.
No, it wasn't it.
I was so shy, I didn't
know how to talk to people.
I didn't know how to approach people.
I was scared of people, right?
So, but I always lived in
this kind of self-formed prison
that I think people think I'm stuck up,
but I don't know how to break that,
because I'm sure it's
not gonna go talk to them.
I know.
You know?
Yeah.
And that was really hard.
So luckily, I mean, I had lots of
friends, acquaintances.
I knew everybody, I was
friendly with everybody.
From like a high level.
But it was just very one-offs
that I had good friends with.
Really, I was more close to girlfriends
than I was guy friends.
As I got to older years.
And you started having girlfriends
at a younger age than really our kids.
Well, I mean, not
really, kind of, I guess.
Like a real girlfriend, yeah.
My first real girlfriend
was probably in eighth grade.
Yeah.
So I mean, that's not that old.
Yeah.
But I mean, she was, we dated
for a year, two years probably
and whatnot, but I mean,
you know all about her.
I still think, I still
wish you guys would meet
because I just think you
guys would get along so well.
I think you guys are very similar.
But I say those things sometimes.
Like we were watching
Yellowstone and I'm like,
oh, you were so much like her.
What's the lady that goes like this?
Oh my God, you thought I was Beth.
Oh yeah, like I was
like, you were so like Beth.
Because she's a strong woman.
But then, you know, as
I zoom out a little bit,
maybe not so much.
(laughs)
Maybe not so much.
Like fine line between
strong woman and like--
Like intelligent woman, yeah.
Borderline psychotic,
like with no impulse control.
Like I like to think I have.
That's too funny.
So I say that you guys would be friends.
I think you guys would.
I mean, it's not like
I know her that well.
We've had breakfast
once or twice since then.
I think she grew up to be a good person.
I know you are a good person.
Well, thank you.
Anyways, but yeah, that's
tough for the kids, you know?
I mean, like they're
trying to do these things.
And in this day, we
were talking about this,
these friends.
Social media just changes the game.
Completely.
Can you imagine having that?
Changes the game.
Again, this is one of those things
where we're showing our years.
And that wasn't even a, I mean,
cell phones didn't exist
when we were in school.
No.
I mean, even in college,
they basically didn't exist.
So there was nothing to, you know,
MySpace maybe came on the
scene at the end of college.
I don't know that it did.
I don't remember
MySpace until we were dating
and I was 25 years old.
Wow, yeah.
I mean, I was in the
dorm room and you know,
it was the dial up for internet.
Oh, 100%.
In fact, when I went to college,
I went to college with like
this handful of phone cards
to call long distance.
Yes, I had a long distance phone card.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I had ones that each
had like 10 minutes on them
or something like that.
You had one that had--
I had like a sprint card, yeah, or
something like that.
I don't know what that is.
But yeah, we had a whole ton of,
I mean, that's our age, right?
So I mean, there's none of that stuff,
obviously, that we had to worry about.
No.
Whereas here, I mean, you could,
because we were
talking about it with friends
and I had to make some,
I've made some tough choices in my life
with friends, right?
I had very tough junior high
high school years at the house.
There's a lot going on there.
And so I turned outward to
try to find where I fit in,
girlfriends or other friends.
And my family was going
through their own thing.
So I'm not trying to throw
anybody under the bus here.
They were going through their own thing
and it just happened to
be during my high school
and junior high years and made it tough.
And so I went elsewhere to find family
and where I fit in and find that love.
And I know, I'm not trying
to make you feel bad, mom.
(both laughing)
She's gonna hear that and be like,
"Oh, I feel so bad."
My mom was great.
She was going through some,
they were going through their own things.
But I got in with crowds
that weren't the right
crowds to get in with.
And there was a time when I
had to break off from that crowd
because I knew it.
Because deep down, I've
always been a rule follower.
I knew those were
things I shouldn't be doing.
I didn't want to be doing.
And I had to break off from that crowd.
And I paid a social price
for that in high school.
Because they were the popular kids
and I just wasn't willing to do
what was required from drugs
and just the way they acted.
I wasn't willing to be that.
And I paid the social price for that.
I felt like I did at least.
But that's way easier today.
You can have your whole social image
can be crushed in one post.
One post.
And it's just, it's so scary to be like,
and because you're a kid and you don't,
I mean, as you talk to your kids,
you do want to keep in mind,
like they are still just children
and there should be some level of mistake
that they can make.
But I feel like the cost for
mistakes for this generation
is way worse than the
cost for mistakes in ours.
Yeah.
I think you're right.
That I think is where
so much of the stress
that they feel and all of that comes in.
Yeah.
I mean, the dumbest
things we did was like,
you're gonna break a bone or something.
You're gonna get hurt physically.
You know what I mean?
That's really the dumbest things we did.
At least in my circles.
Yeah.
I didn't do anything though. I didn't do anything that
was gonna destroy my career.
I didn't have any
pictures that were out there
or videos that would, you know.
I didn't do anything.
Even if they were videoed.
No. Somebody might've said,
"That's an idiot 19 year old kid.
What a stupid kid."
Yeah.
You know, like that's dangerous.
But outside of that, I
mean, nowadays it's just,
they're just so exposed.
And we talked about it in
our early, early M&M episode
of just all the scary
stuff that's on the internet
that they're exposed to too.
Oh yeah.
That's even a whole nother level.
Yeah.
I mean, it's so different.
I was so lucky.
I didn't have to make
tough choices with my friends
because my friends made good choices.
So I made good choices.
I would've been the only
one doing something bad
out of my tiny group of friends.
Now I knew girls that were.
And I just remember being like, "What?
I was so naive."
I really was.
But it worries me that it's like,
I want everyone to just
have my Pollyanna type life
that I had.
Yeah, right, right.
And they likely will not.
No.
I don't think that, I don't
know that that'll exist ever
again, because the
innocence is what's taken
out of everything.
Yes.
Right?
I mean, there's just so much exposure.
You have to worry about people,
even with the child right now,
I think that's having friend issues.
I think there's things
that are going around
that might not be true.
Because there's issues
happening with friends
that our child doesn't even know why.
It's like, I don't know.
Clearly somebody
somewhere has said something,
made something up,
misinterpreted something,
or our child said something
that doesn't want to admit it,
but somewhere in
there, something happened.
And now friendships are
being broken from that.
Now it also could be other personalities
that just want to throw
grenades and walk away.
Or other personalities that have,
they're dealing with their own stuff
and have low self-esteem and they want,
you know, like, and this
is how they make themselves
feel better.
I don't know because, but it's
so hard to parent through it.
And it's so hard to, I
feel like you have to play
you have to play
chess and have like these,
it's almost like a strategic
conversation with your kid.
It's exhausting to find the right words
and oftentimes you don't have them.
And you can't tell
them exactly what to do
because at some point
they have to figure it out
on their own.
It just, it's absolutely exhausting.
I think that's why
I'm so tired right now.
It could be.
I was talking to somebody
this week where it was like,
you can do, and I'm not suggesting we do,
but as a parent, you
can show the right roads.
You can do everything you possibly can
to just shove them in
the right direction.
Yeah.
And the second they get out that door,
they could just bang, you know,
take a hard left hand turn and you know,
and it's like all of it's
for nothing to some degree.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, and you just hope.
It's like roulette.
You just never know.
You know, I mean,
like, it took me a while
to get on the right path.
And you know, that's a
struggle that I've been fairly open
with with some people and on the website
and stuff like that.
It took me a while.
Right.
You know, but I eventually came around,
but you and I have talked about,
I truly, to my core,
feel like I always had
the right intentions, work ethic,
where I wanted to be in life, what I
wanted to do in life.
Now, did I always make the right choices?
No.
Was I always, you know, no.
You know, I did a lot of things wrong.
I did a lot of things the hard way.
I wasn't great.
I didn't make the best
decisions all the time.
But I was always aware of
where that North Star was
and trying to get there.
Yeah.
And that wasn't even close to perfect.
But it took me a while.
I'm not close to perfect
now, I'm saying either.
But it was not a just, bing, made it.
Whereas that was a
little bit more of your,
you know, we talk about our
lives where I'm always like,
ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, all that place,
doing all this stuff.
Like a ping pong ball.
Yeah, you know, with like, you know,
just extracurricular or this
or that or, you know, risks.
And you're just kind of
steady, Eddie's rowing, you know,
and now it's, life's good,
but I'm still like making it,
you know, I'm not sitting
back and just rowing backwards
with the swans on the, you know.
I'm picturing that movie right now.
What's the movie?
It was Ryan Gosling
and you just watched it.
Notebook, the notebook.
Oh, the notebook, yes, yes.
And that pond with all
the, right before it rains.
Right before it rains, yeah.
It's great, yeah.
So you're not rowing
in the middle of swans,
but that's all right.
No one, I don't know that anyone is.
Yeah, that's the thing
we've talked about a lot too.
Yeah.
Is just how hard it is,
and I know I bring it up
on here, but it's just true.
It's so true, but I'm, you know, I'm 48.
And I'm still feel like
I'm figuring out life.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, life's biggest lie is that you're
gonna figure it out.
It's like, nope, you're not.
Yeah, and it's like,
you think your parents
are just like, got it together.
And I've been pretty open with our kids,
like with where we're
at, what we're doing,
all that kind of stuff.
Cause I want them to know like,
struggle's okay, change is
okay, taking risks is okay,
but have a plan, you know.
And it's okay to fail.
Cause in our household,
I'm sure everybody feels
like this in their household,
everybody's got high expectations, right?
I know everybody on our soccer teams,
those parents have high
expectations of their kids.
They do.
Cause it's a high level
soccer team, you know?
And sometimes it feels
like it's not okay to fail.
Right.
But it is.
It totally is.
In fact, the coach even
said like, I want them.
And how did he phrase it?
Cause I was like, I need
to, I need to remember this.
They need to develop a good
relationship with failure.
And that's like a
great way to put it, right?
Because your
relationships are not always,
they don't always go one way, right?
There's a give and a take, right?
I failed, okay, I need to learn from it.
I need to get better.
And it needs to be healthy.
It needs to be like, I need
to feel like it's okay to fail,
but I also need to know
that I need to get better
because of it.
And I was like,
that's a fantastic phrase.
Probably going to start using
it a lot more with our kids.
So thank you.
Thank you, coach.
Yeah.
On and off the field.
Yeah.
Cause I think that's the
thing in this day and age.
I mean, everywhere you
look, you see perfection.
Like, you know, I mean, it's not,
people don't post
things if it's not perfect.
Oh.
I'm not the guy who takes 100 selfies
before I find one to,
I guess I don't think I've
ever taken a selfie of myself.
I've taken selfies of the family a lot,
but never of myself.
You know, but I've heard
people will take like a 200 of them
to get the right one.
That's insanity.
I mean, I get it.
I get what's going on with these people,
but that's,
my point is they're doing
it so they can post something
that they think is perfect.
And then our kids go on
and see this perfect picture.
And everybody's like, oh my God.
And so everybody's trying
to be this perfect thing.
And again, it's just this,
this veil of reality
that everybody thinks
they have to be perfect.
And I know our kids feel that way
because we have high expectations.
Not perfection.
We tell them that all the time.
We don't need to be perfect,
but do we have high expectations?
Yeah.
High expectations within
what we know you can achieve.
Absolutely.
You know, not, you
know, if they go to Harvard,
they're not, you know,
they're not doogie-hauser.
You know, I'm not gonna
expect them to be an MD at 16,
you know, operating on people.
Right.
That to me doesn't seem to fit with them.
Yeah, I'm a great throwback by the way.
Yeah.
Doogie.
Gotta love Doogie.
Yeah.
What was his best friend's name?
Vinny?
Vinny, that might've been it.
I don't know.
Someone can call me on that one.
I don't know.
You know, but it's within reason.
It's like, I know you can get all A's.
Or I know you can, whatever it is.
I know you can't.
I think dad's maybe more than mom's.
And maybe I'm
generalizing way too much there.
Push that line a little bit though to,
you don't have to be
perfect, but let's try to be.
You know what I mean?
It's like, but push
yourself to be the best you can be
because you also don't
want people that are like,
you know what, I'm a C
student and that's okay.
You know, if you're a C student
and that's the best you can do
because you're trying
your best, so be it.
So be it.
Good for you.
But if you're a C student,
even though you could
be a A and B student,
that's where I'm like,
I don't think you're applying yourself.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh, we had that last year,
like with our daughter and Spanish.
And it was just like, I
would spend four hours,
four hours going over like
an oral exam or whatever.
And at the end, you
know, she's getting tired.
I'm gonna fail.
And I was like, I don't care.
Like--
You're prepared.
You've done everything you can.
You just prepared four hours for a quiz.
For a quiz.
Like you have done everything you could
to set yourself up for success.
And if at that point in
time, it doesn't yield success,
who cares?
And she'd come back the next day with 104
because she did the extra
credit too, just to make sure.
Yes.
And she got 104.
You know what I'm saying?
But you freaked out.
Like that level of
perfection, you don't have to have.
That expectation is not here.
Heck no.
Even though there's a lot of expectation,
that's not part of it.
Yeah, I think you
probably even heard me tell her,
like, I don't care.
That's a fine line though.
I just think that's a
fine line with everything.
And I know they feel that way
because we've had those
conversations with our children
that they do feel, not
necessarily even from us,
but from the world.
The world.
That that perfection,
that being the best,
has to be there.
You know what I mean?
And again, we're blessed with children
that excel at a high level
at their extracurricular activities.
You know, so when they're
not getting blue ribbons,
that's a failure to them.
Yeah.
And that's, yeah, that's special,
but that's also a
really hard place to live.
Yeah, it is because
you're not always going to.
There's always gonna be
someone bigger, better, faster.
It's just gonna happen.
What is it?
It's the Dr. Seuss book, right?
Like, and sometimes you
are in there will be times
when you don't, cause
sometimes you won't.
Like, it's just life.
And I don't know, it's hard.
I think it's harder for girls, honestly.
I think raising boys and
girls, I think for boys,
we see it in the boys,
like the pushing themselves
to succeed in sports and I think that,
but I think the pressure
on girls is even heavier
because they have to
look perfect on top of it
and they can't show that they're hurt
or that, like, there's
just something about.
I believe you're correct.
But I also think
another variable to that is
boys are idiots till they're 25.
Whereas, I mean, I'm not
calling our boys idiots.
No, they're not.
But there is a different
level of brain functioning,
emotionality, you know, emotional levels,
all those kind of
things from our daughter
than there are from our boys, right?
Cause she's just aware.
The testosterone just
takes over in the boys
till they're 25 to 30.
Oh my gosh.
Right?
And then they kind of come
back and like, you know what?
Maybe, you know, shaving and, you know,
and putting the other, I
mean, you know what I mean?
It truly is.
Like there is a lack of just awareness
of things that are going on around a boy
in these teenage years, right?
It's very like isolated
to the sports, friends,
girlfriend, like
there's nothing else outside
of kind of whatever is in
their own mind at that moment.
Yeah.
Like I cared about my
hair when I was a kid,
but not to the point where I
would obsess over it, right?
Like I wanted it to look good.
And I was aware of when
I had the windows down,
like I wanted to make sure it
was blowing it the right way,
you know, cause you have a
part back then, you know?
So I mean, but I would
never lose my mind over it.
Oh my gosh.
You say that.
Cause I never, never drove
with my windows down ever
because of that.
I don't have good hair.
I don't.
Like you all are actually
seeing it in its, you know,
natural factory setting right now.
I was surprised you did it too.
I wasn't even going to mention it.
Cause I don't want to.
This is the factory setting guys.
Like the real, sorry.
So.
It's still beautiful.
Well, thank you.
I don't.
But I'm glad that you do.
But I will never forget.
I was on a first date with somebody
and he had the
windows down and I was like,
I worked on my hair.
Like I looked pretty or, you know,
I probably thought I did anyway.
Yeah.
I remember if you
like, do I, like, I mean,
it's a first date.
Do I say like, hey, can we turn the,
can we roll the windows up and turn on
the air conditioning?
Yeah.
And that would never have
gone through a guy's brain.
Not to their older.
No.
Not to their older for sure.
It was like to me, it
was devastating because
totally messed up my hair.
But that's why I think it
might be harder for girls
because they're just more aware.
They're just more mature.
They're just, they're just
more adult at a younger age.
Right?
They kind of, they kind of get it more.
Yes.
Someone once told me like
girls learn from a really young
age, how to play the game.
Boys have no idea there's
a game even being played.
Yeah.
They just, they don't.
I think that's true.
And it, I don't know.
So it's just.
I don't take offense to that either.
I mean, it's just, I mean,
I don't think guys should
take offense to that because I
mean, look at any male, 25 and under.
I mean, empirical data just, you know,
hung was a hundred percent hit rate.
Other than Maggie Dugiehouser, there's a
couple of standouts.
He's a fictional character.
Yeah.
So sure.
In a sitcom, maybe, you
know, you can do that,
but it's just, I don't know.
You got, I don't know
what to do about it.
It's hard raising boys and girls in
teenage years because
the struggles are so different.
Yeah.
It is, but all right, well
we're getting long already.
So we'll wrap it here.
We got coming up,
we've got another week
of school, obviously.
We've got some travel for soccer.
So some more soccer reels coming up.
We got some travel.
Maybe we'll do next week's episode,
probably be on the road.
Location.
Which would be fun.
Yeah.
Probably coming from Austin.
Austin, Texas.
That's right.
Teaser, I mean.
Are we staying in Austin proper?
I have no idea.
We haven't got there yet.
Future Sean and Megan will let you know.
Future Sean and Megan will figure it out.
I'm guessing there's a
reservation in your email.
I know.
Somehow we've managed, we just kind of.
I just go wherever Team Snap tells me.
Yeah.
And I go wherever Outlook tells me
because you put Team Snap into Outlook.
I do.
And you look at me and like,
where am I supposed to be at what time?
There's a new dad on
our oldest son's team.
Yeah.
Who he's texted me once or twice like,
"Hey, can you pick up?"
Or, "Can this kid get a ride with you?"
And I'm like, "Let me get with my wife."
Let me ask Megan what
the schedule looks like.
So like twice I push back like,
I've told you, I do
not handle the schedule.
I go where the calendar tells me to go.
Yeah.
You know, and I think he's figured it out
because now you and
the mom have connected.
Yeah, he also doesn't know the schedule.
Like it's the mom and I.
We've probably been texting him all day.
That's why I'm surprised
he's trying to take care of it.
She and I have probably been.
That's why I'm
surprised he's even texting me.
Like, I thought the
lady, I thought the moms,
I thought the ladies had this.
Yes, yeah.
The logistics are my thing.
I'm still just doing testosterone things.
Those testosterone things.
Those testosteroney?
Is that testosteroney?
Is that pepperoni?
I'm really not sure what that entails.
I don't know, that's a
man thing, you don't get it.
(laughing) Fair enough.
I'm doing men things.
I'm just a man doing men things.
By chopping wood or something.
Oh my gosh.
We could go so many places with that.
Have you ever chopped wood?
Yeah, you kidding me?
What have I not done?
That's manly.
Most people when they meet me say,
"Shawn, you're the
manliest man I've ever known."
All men, you're the manliest.
You're the manliest man.
I hear other men
telling you that all the time.
All the time, all the time, yeah.
So you've never won comments.
Have you ever thought
about being on a paper towel?
(laughing)
Like plastic wrap?
I think about it all the time.
(laughing) I've got a couple photos I can show you.
Mocked it up.
Oh my gosh, Photoshop's
amazing, by the way, yeah.
Yeah, no, I am not the most manly man,
and I'm totally okay with that.
You are perfectly manly.
Yeah, we've talked about it.
I was called
"metrosexual" for the longest time,
which just means I care
about being presentable
in personal hygiene.
Yeah, I mean like, oh
man, that's hurting.
Like, jeez. I know, oh, oh.
Take that, try it. Straight, yeah,
right to the heart.
If that's what it is, I will own it.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
All right, well let's let
these good, fine people go.
Yeah.
Oh, what's our, okay, so we
gotta do our word for this week.
This week, okay.
All right. Okay.
Okay, you thought of yours?
I thought of mine.
All right, we got mine.
Okay.
All right, one, two, three.
Endurance. Locomotion.
Locomotion. Yeah.
Like, are everybody, do the locomotion?
Do the locomotion for me.
Okay, like that?
We gotta raise your, come on, baby.
Do the locomotion for me.
Kylie Minogue, that's a great song.
I think she remade it, though.
She remade it,
because that's from the 50s.
I prefer the Kylie Minogue.
Oh, yeah.
I used to roller skate to that song.
Kylie Minogue or the original one?
Probably the original one.
You know, we should talk
about Skate City when we,
on the next one. Skate City, baby.
Skate City, baby.
Is that a thing?
I don't know.
Well, Skate City was a
roller rink in my skate group.
I totally felt like
that was a Dickie V moment.
I don't know why.
Dickie V, Skate City, baby.
That was Dickie V, got it.
That was really good.
Was my impression not great of Dickie V?
Well, I actually was going
to where some of our sons
go to with how they talk
about some of the soccer players.
Yes, yes.
And their soccer coach that they mimic.
Yes, they do.
One man, one man.
All right, endurance.
Endurance.
I feel like we're in the midst
of like a long distance race.
I know.
We always are though.
This is just life.
This is very good.
The little, life
happens in me at the moment.
The little moments.
We are.
Like great, like long distance from
cross country running.
Sorry, but the locomotion.
My name is locomotion.
I was going to say lotion for the motion.
This is more of like,
we're just going with it, man.
It totally sounds dirty.
It probably is dirty.
Okay.
I don't know.
It's a saying and it rhymes
and I'm just sucker for rhyming.
You love rhyming.
I love rhyming so much.
Yeah.
I think the phrase that my PT
told me was motion is lotion.
Not lotion for the motion.
Either way, I think it goes both ways.
My point was we're moving.
Like we're the cogs, we're
turning and we're moving.
We're just moving.
We're keep on moving down the track.
So similar, similar like.
Similar, similar, you're right.
Mine's just kind of like designed to,
we're just keeping it going.
Mine's like head down, keeping the pace,
let's keep going.
Yours is like kind of pumping yourself up
and you gotta keep it going.
Keep going.
Doing it.
Doing it baby.
We're doing it baby.
Here we have it.
More of it's good.
All right, now we're
just doing inside jokes.
Nobody's gonna love that.
Nobody's with us anyways.
Everybody's already hung up anyways.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's it.
That's all we got.
That's all we got, 32.
Next week will be a
big one though, it's 33.
And when I met Megan, I was obsessed.
This is again, one of those things where
you just don't wake,
you don't grow up as a man, enough.
But my number of basketball was 33
and it was Trey, Trey.
And anytime I saw the
number 33, it was Trey, Trey.
Trey, Trey.
Every time.
I pointed out like.
I mean, for the first like
eight years we were together.
Yeah, that's why that
tattoo, that 33 tattoo on my back.
I regret that.
(laughing)
But, look at how old
the sun wears it, so.
You mean something.
Yeah.
(laughing) All right, let's sign out of here.
All right.
All right, we'll see you next time.
Thanks for joining.
Ciao ciao.
See ya.