WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:07.129 --> 00:00:09.649 Candace Dellacona: Welcome to the Sandwich Generation Survival Guide. 00:00:09.649 --> 00:00:11.949 I am your host, Candace Dellacona. 00:00:12.439 --> 00:00:19.129 I am honored to welcome today our very special guest, the notable Chuck Whitlock. 00:00:19.129 --> 00:00:22.069 Chuck is an investigative journalist. 00:00:22.399 --> 00:00:23.449 He is an author. 00:00:23.449 --> 00:00:30.929 He is a world renowned speaker on a number of topics, namely financial 00:00:30.929 --> 00:00:34.919 crime, and exposing con artists. 00:00:34.919 --> 00:00:41.339 He has been on Oprah in 60 Minutes in the Today Show and CNN, just to name a few. 00:00:41.879 --> 00:00:45.389 And Chuck's really become a world renowned expert on data 00:00:45.389 --> 00:00:47.639 protection and healthcare crimes. 00:00:47.639 --> 00:00:55.289 And Chuck is here to talk to us today about his latest endeavor, a book called 00:00:55.289 --> 00:00:58.109 Life Source, which is for caregivers. 00:00:58.109 --> 00:01:02.909 And so, Chuck, we are so happy to welcome you today to the 00:01:02.909 --> 00:01:04.769 Sandwich Generation Survival Guide. 00:01:05.599 --> 00:01:07.799 Chuck Whitlock: Thank you for having me, Candace, it's really good to be here. 00:01:07.799 --> 00:01:09.719 I love talking to caregivers. 00:01:09.719 --> 00:01:11.669 It's one of my favorite topics. 00:01:12.449 --> 00:01:13.289 Candace Dellacona: I'm delighted. 00:01:13.289 --> 00:01:18.929 So, Chuck, as you know, we started this podcast, the Sandwich Generation Survival 00:01:18.929 --> 00:01:25.679 Guide to really provide resources for those of us in the middle, those of 00:01:25.679 --> 00:01:31.979 us providing care to our loved ones in the sort of middle of our lives. 00:01:32.399 --> 00:01:39.239 And the goal with the podcast is to provide experts like you, Chuck, that 00:01:39.239 --> 00:01:45.119 can help us navigate this really tricky spot in the middle of our lives when 00:01:45.119 --> 00:01:47.339 we're trying to help our seniors. 00:01:47.339 --> 00:01:50.309 So we're really lucky to have you here today. 00:01:50.309 --> 00:01:53.699 I know you're very sought after in the field. 00:01:54.089 --> 00:01:59.839 So tell us a little bit about, Chuck, your background and how you ended up 00:01:59.929 --> 00:02:03.169 here in the world of advising caregivers. 00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:08.104 Chuck Whitlock: Well, I guess most of what's happened to me in my lifetime as 00:02:08.104 --> 00:02:14.194 I look back and I'm 82, so I have a lot of years to look back on, but as I think 00:02:14.194 --> 00:02:17.164 about it, it, most of it was not planned. 00:02:17.164 --> 00:02:19.864 I didn't have a huge strategy coming outta college. 00:02:20.384 --> 00:02:22.874 I just wanted to make a living and support my family. 00:02:23.589 --> 00:02:26.799 And I worked through college as a police officer. 00:02:26.799 --> 00:02:30.399 But when I graduated, I was offered a job significantly more than what 00:02:30.399 --> 00:02:31.929 I was making as a police officer. 00:02:31.929 --> 00:02:35.049 Because I had a wife and a young baby child at home, I thought, 00:02:35.049 --> 00:02:36.399 okay, I'll go for some money. 00:02:37.069 --> 00:02:43.399 At the age of about 38, I think, I decided to go into business for myself 00:02:43.969 --> 00:02:48.289 and I made a little bit of money and I took a year off and I wrote a book. 00:02:48.709 --> 00:02:51.729 And when I was a kid growing up, there was a show on television called Racket 00:02:51.729 --> 00:02:57.519 Squad, and it was all about white collar crime and I decided to write a book 00:02:57.519 --> 00:03:00.969 called Easy Money, which was about white collar crime, and I wrote it because 00:03:00.969 --> 00:03:02.919 I had been scammed so many times. 00:03:03.219 --> 00:03:06.159 Like everybody else, I can think of a million instances in my 00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:07.479 life what I had been scammed. 00:03:07.659 --> 00:03:10.329 So here I am 38 years old, I decided to write a book, but I 00:03:10.329 --> 00:03:13.544 don't wanna write about cops and robbers and that sort of thing. 00:03:13.814 --> 00:03:17.654 I thought I'll write about white collar crime and I'll talk about the things 00:03:17.654 --> 00:03:19.034 that have happened to me in my life. 00:03:19.084 --> 00:03:22.984 The book was very successful and it led me into a career 00:03:22.984 --> 00:03:24.484 as an investigative reporter. 00:03:24.484 --> 00:03:29.314 A national magazine show saw me on Oprah and they said, Chuck, would 00:03:29.314 --> 00:03:33.274 you do investigative reports for us but specialize in white collar crime? 00:03:33.754 --> 00:03:38.884 And I accepted it, and that launched my career in television broadcast. 00:03:39.364 --> 00:03:43.594 So all along the way I was pretty much a caregiver. 00:03:43.744 --> 00:03:47.404 Which brings me to my current topic and why I was so interested 00:03:47.404 --> 00:03:49.054 in working on the LifeSource book. 00:03:49.564 --> 00:03:52.774 My first wife had just about everything you can imagine. 00:03:53.254 --> 00:03:54.604 She was incapacitated. 00:03:54.604 --> 00:03:55.504 She couldn't drive. 00:03:56.404 --> 00:03:58.789 I had to have caregivers. 00:03:58.789 --> 00:04:03.449 I had to have housekeepers, and yet I was pretty busy back even 00:04:03.449 --> 00:04:07.259 then being a national sales manager for a national medical company. 00:04:07.859 --> 00:04:14.909 I really had quite a job, and yet I had to take care of my ill wife at home. 00:04:14.999 --> 00:04:16.929 And it was really a difficult time. 00:04:16.929 --> 00:04:22.324 And I remember feelings, huge amounts of guilt about not being there more 00:04:22.324 --> 00:04:24.274 for her than I thought I should be. 00:04:24.584 --> 00:04:28.784 I had a $1 million policy, Candace, at the time through my employer. 00:04:29.144 --> 00:04:34.904 I burned through every penny of that with her hospitalizations, and I got another 00:04:34.904 --> 00:04:39.044 job with a competitive company because it gave me another million dollar healthcare 00:04:39.044 --> 00:04:41.294 policy, and she burned through that. 00:04:42.134 --> 00:04:46.264 And now this is a long time ago, so it's when $2 million was a 00:04:46.264 --> 00:04:50.284 significant amount of money, probably equivalent to six or 7 million today. 00:04:50.854 --> 00:04:55.724 Throughout that whole time, I had to use my imagination. 00:04:55.724 --> 00:05:02.244 I had to figure out ways to deal with somebody at home that had these major 00:05:02.244 --> 00:05:06.984 issues and make a living at the same time and raise children at the same time. 00:05:08.154 --> 00:05:12.939 So I ended up really becoming pretty good at time management. 00:05:13.509 --> 00:05:15.519 And I found support groups. 00:05:15.924 --> 00:05:21.564 And I found that they had access to resources that I didn't know existed. 00:05:22.404 --> 00:05:27.394 And the more help that I found to help me deal with the 00:05:27.394 --> 00:05:30.064 problem, the easier my life got. 00:05:30.994 --> 00:05:33.724 And I realized early that I didn't have to be a doctor. 00:05:33.724 --> 00:05:36.794 I didn't have to be a PA or an rn. 00:05:37.544 --> 00:05:40.574 All I had to do was identify symptoms. 00:05:40.904 --> 00:05:47.924 When you're dealing with folks that have various disorders, you learn how to cope, 00:05:48.344 --> 00:05:50.444 but you need help to learn how to cope. 00:05:50.444 --> 00:05:53.084 I was at the support group meetings and I learned these things. 00:05:53.384 --> 00:05:55.154 I would never have known it otherwise. 00:05:55.544 --> 00:05:58.014 And I'm a young dad with kids at home. 00:05:58.014 --> 00:05:59.874 I don't have too much money. 00:06:00.454 --> 00:06:03.004 I wasn't seeing psychiatrists and getting advice. 00:06:03.004 --> 00:06:06.784 I was kind of figuring out on my own and going to the support groups 00:06:06.784 --> 00:06:09.814 and asking lots of questions and relating to what folks were saying. 00:06:10.744 --> 00:06:17.414 And so I'm urging your folks that are listening to this podcast to please reach 00:06:17.414 --> 00:06:22.304 out and get the help from all the national associations who educate caregivers to 00:06:22.304 --> 00:06:25.189 do a better job to get some respite. 00:06:25.309 --> 00:06:31.734 But what I wanna share is having to take care of somebody and work a 00:06:31.734 --> 00:06:35.874 regular job and then have a 24 hour a day, seven day a week responsibility 00:06:35.874 --> 00:06:37.134 to take care of somebody else. 00:06:37.794 --> 00:06:39.114 It's more than difficult. 00:06:39.154 --> 00:06:44.390 It's mind boggling, and it can really create some huge problems. 00:06:44.400 --> 00:06:45.870 Candace Dellacona: You said so much there, Chuck. 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:51.015 One of the things, being a sandwich generation member yourself, you sought 00:06:51.015 --> 00:06:56.455 out community and you sought out support and you created a community by 00:06:56.455 --> 00:06:58.735 virtue of the exchange of information. 00:06:58.735 --> 00:07:02.815 And I think that's really important and something that should never be lost 00:07:03.055 --> 00:07:07.165 on those who are listening, realizing that there are other people who have 00:07:07.165 --> 00:07:13.225 walked the walk and they have probably lots of tips that you can receive and 00:07:13.225 --> 00:07:14.965 make your journey a little easier. 00:07:14.965 --> 00:07:20.045 After you wrote Easy Money, Chuck, can you fill us in a bit about what 00:07:20.045 --> 00:07:25.355 brought you into the framework of seniors and the elderly and trying 00:07:25.355 --> 00:07:31.665 to use all of your years of being an investigative journalist and a writer 00:07:32.025 --> 00:07:35.055 and into the arena to protect seniors? 00:07:36.350 --> 00:07:36.640 Chuck Whitlock: Sure. 00:07:36.945 --> 00:07:42.825 I was getting pretty close to retiring myself and I was looking 00:07:42.825 --> 00:07:48.765 at nursing homes and assisted living facilities and all kinds of different 00:07:48.765 --> 00:07:50.895 facilities for elderly people. 00:07:50.925 --> 00:07:52.335 My mom was getting older. 00:07:52.785 --> 00:07:57.285 I knew several people that were much older than I was, and I thought, it'd 00:07:57.285 --> 00:08:03.090 be interesting to write a book to help people navigate this retirement business. 00:08:03.390 --> 00:08:07.640 So I got a major law firm to write chapters on trust and wills. 00:08:07.980 --> 00:08:10.650 Salvation Army, wrote chapters on charitable gift giving. 00:08:10.650 --> 00:08:16.730 I got all these folks that had a hand in helping people to retire successfully. 00:08:17.090 --> 00:08:21.650 And I finished that book, Age Without Rage, and that introduced me to that 00:08:21.650 --> 00:08:26.800 whole world of taking care, the sandwich generation and the myriad of problems 00:08:27.190 --> 00:08:29.230 that we all have had to deal with. 00:08:29.530 --> 00:08:33.310 I have a friend right now that's going through it, his aging mother, she 00:08:33.310 --> 00:08:37.840 now is showing signs of dementia and I was with him one night at dinner 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:43.540 with his mom in a long-term care facility and the more I listened to 00:08:43.540 --> 00:08:47.290 the conversation, the more I realized, Tom, you really need some help here. 00:08:47.340 --> 00:08:51.440 You need a lot of information about how to interact with somebody with dementia. 00:08:52.070 --> 00:08:54.650 And that's how I really got started in this. 00:08:54.800 --> 00:08:55.880 And then I met Peggy. 00:08:56.150 --> 00:09:01.100 Peggy Baddour is one of the nicest human beings on the face of the earth. 00:09:01.780 --> 00:09:05.860 And she provides healthcare services to 15,000 patients. 00:09:06.310 --> 00:09:10.880 So when I met her and she started sharing stories with me about the 00:09:10.880 --> 00:09:15.050 sandwich generation and the problems that they deal with, I thought, how 00:09:15.050 --> 00:09:16.220 do they take care of themselves? 00:09:16.220 --> 00:09:20.400 And I was thinking back to myself when I was going through those issues in my own 00:09:20.400 --> 00:09:25.520 life, and she said, there are volunteer groups that will sit with your loved one. 00:09:25.910 --> 00:09:31.800 You can call most hospice centers, for example, have a number of volunteers 00:09:32.010 --> 00:09:35.760 that will sit with your mom or dad or grandma and grandpa, and they'll just be 00:09:35.760 --> 00:09:37.980 companions for two or three hours a day. 00:09:38.340 --> 00:09:39.940 You can hire companions. 00:09:40.235 --> 00:09:44.735 Sometimes family members, if you're in hospice, can be paid to spend 00:09:44.735 --> 00:09:48.935 time with that person that's going through whatever the disorder is. 00:09:49.565 --> 00:09:53.915 But anyway, Peggy pointed all these things out to me, and the more she pointed out 00:09:53.915 --> 00:09:59.905 to me I got more and more interested in taking care of the sandwich generation 00:09:59.905 --> 00:10:03.885 because being in that sandwich generation and taking care of your parents while 00:10:03.885 --> 00:10:08.895 also working with your children's issues, it's almost an impossibility. 00:10:09.185 --> 00:10:09.845 Candace Dellacona: It really is. 00:10:10.115 --> 00:10:13.500 Chuck Whitlock: Especially if you're the primary earner in the family, you're 00:10:13.500 --> 00:10:18.330 really totally responsible yourself for those below you and those older 00:10:18.330 --> 00:10:19.680 than you that have come before you. 00:10:20.310 --> 00:10:22.290 And it can be really overwhelming. 00:10:22.740 --> 00:10:27.360 And Peggy showed me a lot of ways to address those issues and that's 00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:28.890 how I got involved in this thing. 00:10:29.100 --> 00:10:33.737 It was mostly my own experiences identifying with the things 00:10:33.737 --> 00:10:35.417 that I heard Peggy talk about. 00:10:35.777 --> 00:10:38.267 So I partnered up with Peggy and we co-authored a book. 00:10:38.297 --> 00:10:39.467 So that's how I got involved. 00:10:39.902 --> 00:10:43.672 Candace Dellacona: Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about the book and for 00:10:43.672 --> 00:10:48.532 those listening to you today, I think what's really important to understand 00:10:48.532 --> 00:10:52.342 about the book is that this really is a book geared towards the caregivers, 00:10:52.732 --> 00:10:54.622 geared towards the family members. 00:10:55.117 --> 00:10:57.337 Helping them advocate. 00:10:57.757 --> 00:11:02.687 And the word advocate is used so often and often people I think, 00:11:02.747 --> 00:11:04.577 don't realize what it means. 00:11:04.577 --> 00:11:10.247 And I think advocacy is really hard when you don't understand the 00:11:10.247 --> 00:11:15.167 infrastructure of the medical system and navigating the healthcare system. 00:11:15.447 --> 00:11:21.247 Chuck, tell us a couple of things about the best way for family members, 00:11:21.982 --> 00:11:26.722 when they start out on this journey on navigating the healthcare system, you 00:11:26.722 --> 00:11:29.392 have the insight of Peggy and her team. 00:11:29.742 --> 00:11:34.962 They manage tens of thousands of facilities across the country. 00:11:34.962 --> 00:11:39.192 So share with us any bits of your knowledge that you 00:11:39.412 --> 00:11:40.882 expound upon in the book. 00:11:41.812 --> 00:11:42.632 Chuck Whitlock: Thank you, Candace. 00:11:42.652 --> 00:11:43.762 That's a great question. 00:11:44.452 --> 00:11:46.702 Being an advocate means so much to me. 00:11:46.702 --> 00:11:50.432 For example, when you take your loved one to a doctor, you should have 00:11:50.432 --> 00:11:54.687 a list of all the questions that maybe they won't remember to ask. 00:11:56.117 --> 00:11:59.687 You only have a limited amount of time with that geriatric physician or the 00:11:59.687 --> 00:12:01.787 primary care physician or the specialist. 00:12:02.147 --> 00:12:08.217 So create a list of questions so that when you leave, you have all the answers. 00:12:08.487 --> 00:12:10.407 Be the advocate for your loved one. 00:12:11.127 --> 00:12:16.677 Your job really is to see things that are happening that maybe they won't 00:12:16.677 --> 00:12:21.922 remember have happened, or things that maybe they don't think are a 00:12:21.922 --> 00:12:26.872 concern, but because you've studied a little bit about their issues. 00:12:27.112 --> 00:12:30.412 For example, if they're diabetic, watch how much sugar they're eating, 00:12:30.772 --> 00:12:34.732 if they're taking insulin, make sure they take the right dosage. 00:12:35.102 --> 00:12:38.222 Do a little bit of research on the medications that they're taking. 00:12:38.672 --> 00:12:41.732 And, all you have to do is ask a drugist which ones are 00:12:41.732 --> 00:12:43.022 contraindicated with others. 00:12:43.967 --> 00:12:47.327 You can find out very quickly if the patient, because maybe they're taking 00:12:47.327 --> 00:12:54.037 psychotropic drugs and they have multiple disorders that are contraindicated for 00:12:54.397 --> 00:12:56.797 their arthritis medication or whatever. 00:12:57.427 --> 00:12:59.557 You need to know that, and the drugist will help you. 00:12:59.797 --> 00:13:03.097 And almost always, there's alternatives to drugs that are 00:13:03.097 --> 00:13:04.897 contraindicated with other drugs. 00:13:05.467 --> 00:13:08.107 So being an advocate means looking over the shoulder of 00:13:08.107 --> 00:13:09.457 everything that's going on. 00:13:10.087 --> 00:13:15.457 I remember I was in the hospital about 13 years ago, having open heart 00:13:15.457 --> 00:13:20.857 surgery, and my wife, she got a bed and stayed in the room with me the 00:13:20.857 --> 00:13:22.387 whole time I was in the hospital. 00:13:22.777 --> 00:13:26.737 She was my advocate and every time they came in with medication, she 00:13:26.737 --> 00:13:29.827 checked the medication to make sure the pill colors were the same, that 00:13:29.827 --> 00:13:31.387 they were round or not rectangular. 00:13:31.597 --> 00:13:34.027 She knew which medication I was supposed to receive. 00:13:34.237 --> 00:13:38.587 Candace Dellacona: Advocacy can be really basic and making sure that you are 00:13:38.707 --> 00:13:43.207 educated to the extent that A, you know the questions to ask and you leave those 00:13:43.207 --> 00:13:47.662 doctor's appointments with the answers to those questions and you bring up 00:13:48.177 --> 00:13:50.747 talking to a pharmacist about medications. 00:13:50.747 --> 00:13:55.067 We're fortunate enough these days, there's so much information online about the 00:13:55.067 --> 00:13:59.577 basics related to medication and making sure that you're educated on the basics. 00:13:59.907 --> 00:14:04.877 And Chuck, when family members have to transition into an inpatient facility, 00:14:05.177 --> 00:14:10.562 what is the best advice for advocates that you can give to them to help them 00:14:10.562 --> 00:14:15.037 navigate those systems once they are inpatient and where they'll remain. 00:14:16.097 --> 00:14:18.987 Chuck Whitlock: I've done dozens of investigative reports on 00:14:18.987 --> 00:14:20.637 long-term care over the years. 00:14:21.117 --> 00:14:24.137 And so let me share a little bit of that with your listeners. 00:14:24.737 --> 00:14:28.087 The first thing you have to do is check with Medicare to get 00:14:28.087 --> 00:14:29.527 the rating on the facility. 00:14:30.337 --> 00:14:33.367 The second thing you need to do is you need to shop, you need to go 00:14:33.367 --> 00:14:38.557 to, not one, not to maybe five or 10 different long-term healthcare 00:14:38.557 --> 00:14:43.187 facilities, whether it's assisted living or memory care or nursing home. 00:14:43.547 --> 00:14:47.657 You need to visit those facilities and meet with the medical director, 00:14:47.657 --> 00:14:50.657 not just the administrator or the sales representative. 00:14:51.257 --> 00:14:54.697 Always ask for the medical director and ask them, what's your rating? 00:14:54.877 --> 00:14:56.257 How many complaints have you had? 00:14:56.287 --> 00:14:58.477 Do you have any lawsuits going on right now? 00:14:58.927 --> 00:15:01.927 Do you do a criminal background check on the employees? 00:15:02.587 --> 00:15:03.667 Do you have a record of it? 00:15:03.667 --> 00:15:05.797 If I were to ask for it, could you show it to me? 00:15:06.437 --> 00:15:09.167 Candace Dellacona: So you can go in Chuck and ask to talk to the medical 00:15:09.167 --> 00:15:11.267 director and ask this kind of information. 00:15:11.362 --> 00:15:12.172 Chuck Whitlock: Absolutely. 00:15:12.172 --> 00:15:16.982 You're the you're the advocate, Candace, and if this is somebody you love, you're 00:15:16.982 --> 00:15:19.352 not gonna turn them over to people. 00:15:19.652 --> 00:15:21.872 Lemme give you the, let me just tell you a quick story. 00:15:22.422 --> 00:15:25.872 I have a neighbor whose husband's in a long-term care right now in a 00:15:25.872 --> 00:15:32.602 nursing home, and he has very serious dementia and some other comorbidities. 00:15:32.932 --> 00:15:35.822 And he shakes, he can't use his hands to eat. 00:15:36.212 --> 00:15:40.382 And so she went to visit him and he's licking the food out 00:15:40.382 --> 00:15:42.452 of the bowl in front of her. 00:15:42.502 --> 00:15:46.052 He can't use his hands, and that's how he had to consume the food. 00:15:46.772 --> 00:15:49.892 And she called me and she said, Chuck, I can't stand watching this happen. 00:15:49.952 --> 00:15:50.852 What can I do? 00:15:51.242 --> 00:15:54.332 I said, let's go to this facility and let's talk to the medical director. 00:15:54.332 --> 00:15:54.932 And we did. 00:15:55.502 --> 00:15:58.322 And she said, I had no idea the floor was doing this. 00:15:58.502 --> 00:16:03.102 We will have your husband hand fed, which is of course the appropriate thing to do. 00:16:03.617 --> 00:16:06.812 Candace Dellacona: Right, and it's the dignified thing to do, but you know, you 00:16:06.812 --> 00:16:11.652 bring that up that, I think as consumers, quote unquote and non-medical people, 00:16:11.652 --> 00:16:14.352 we don't know how far we can push. 00:16:14.352 --> 00:16:16.142 So that's great advice Chuck. 00:16:16.332 --> 00:16:18.912 Chuck Whitlock: You have to talk to the medical director. 00:16:18.912 --> 00:16:22.182 They're the ones that are legally liable for the actual care of 00:16:22.182 --> 00:16:23.532 the patients in the facility. 00:16:23.712 --> 00:16:26.922 Of course, the administrator, he's at the top or she's at the top 00:16:26.922 --> 00:16:28.382 and the buck will stop with them. 00:16:28.382 --> 00:16:32.837 But trust me, if there's a lawsuit, the medical director's gonna be named in the 00:16:32.837 --> 00:16:37.217 lawsuit, so they're very cautious about the care that patients are receiving. 00:16:37.577 --> 00:16:42.857 So anyway, I suggest that A, you check with Medicare to get their rating. 00:16:43.157 --> 00:16:46.757 That will tell you that there's a lot of complaints or hardly any five star 00:16:46.757 --> 00:16:48.047 rating is what you're looking for. 00:16:48.227 --> 00:16:53.117 If it's a four star, it may still be okay, but four or five, nothing less than that. 00:16:53.117 --> 00:16:54.647 If it's a three, don't go there. 00:16:55.142 --> 00:16:57.167 Go to the fours and fives, look 'em over. 00:16:57.377 --> 00:16:59.087 Talk to the medical director. 00:16:59.267 --> 00:17:00.317 Be their advocate. 00:17:00.587 --> 00:17:04.697 Think just in your own brain, think to yourself, I'm moving in here. 00:17:04.727 --> 00:17:07.707 Is this a place I would come if I had the same problem that 00:17:07.707 --> 00:17:09.647 mom has, would I live here. 00:17:10.217 --> 00:17:14.177 And I'll tell you, I've been to some facilities where they'll have 200 00:17:14.177 --> 00:17:19.787 patients sitting in one large great room in wheelchairs with one nurse. 00:17:19.967 --> 00:17:24.677 You can't possibly take care of 200 patients sitting in wheelchairs. 00:17:25.217 --> 00:17:28.757 How do you take care of those folks if you're understaffed? 00:17:29.057 --> 00:17:32.447 And Candace trust me, understaffing is a huge problem right now. 00:17:32.687 --> 00:17:36.467 So you have to visit your loved one as frequently as you can. 00:17:36.467 --> 00:17:40.217 I know you have a job and other responsibilities, and you have 00:17:40.217 --> 00:17:41.507 your children to take care of. 00:17:41.507 --> 00:17:42.107 I get it. 00:17:42.707 --> 00:17:48.677 But either you or somebody else, maybe your spouse, maybe a good friend of yours 00:17:49.007 --> 00:17:53.627 can stop by and just visit and look and see what kind of care they're giving. 00:17:54.197 --> 00:17:59.417 If the patient's not being cared for, if they're not being walked to the bathroom, 00:17:59.447 --> 00:18:03.317 if they're being kept locked in by putting the handrails up, which by the way, 00:18:03.317 --> 00:18:05.027 are against the law in most states now. 00:18:05.507 --> 00:18:11.787 You need to know what expectations you can have based on the laws 00:18:12.297 --> 00:18:14.217 and it takes a little homework. 00:18:14.217 --> 00:18:17.637 Maybe you have to go online and, look at a few, ask a few questions. 00:18:17.757 --> 00:18:20.697 We can Google anything, Candace, and there it is. 00:18:21.042 --> 00:18:21.462 Candace Dellacona: Yeah. 00:18:21.717 --> 00:18:25.317 Chuck Whitlock: But you have to take the time to do that, to be a good caregiver. 00:18:25.317 --> 00:18:28.617 And at the end of the day you're gonna go to bed and you're gonna say, 00:18:28.617 --> 00:18:30.057 I've really done something today. 00:18:30.327 --> 00:18:33.477 This, I'm treating mom the way I would've wanted to be treated. 00:18:33.867 --> 00:18:37.537 And if it weren't for, she raised me and she was there when I needed my diapers 00:18:37.537 --> 00:18:39.247 changed by God, I'm there for mom. 00:18:39.817 --> 00:18:42.487 That's what you need to say to yourself when you're going to bed at night. 00:18:43.372 --> 00:18:43.882 Candace Dellacona: For sure. 00:18:43.882 --> 00:18:48.732 One of the things I know that you've pointed out too, is that overmedicated 00:18:48.942 --> 00:18:53.652 patients and overmedication in general is unfortunately rampant 00:18:54.012 --> 00:18:55.812 with the senior population. 00:18:56.052 --> 00:19:00.372 I know it's sometimes used as a substitution for care to keep 00:19:00.522 --> 00:19:03.762 patients sedentary and docile. 00:19:04.002 --> 00:19:10.107 So what are the sort of telltale factors that you can impart to family members 00:19:10.377 --> 00:19:15.387 about things like over medication and neglect, other than the obvious. 00:19:15.927 --> 00:19:17.997 Chuck Whitlock: Another great question, Candace, and I'll tell 00:19:17.997 --> 00:19:21.552 you I'm so glad you asked 'cause I would love to have brought that up. 00:19:22.122 --> 00:19:23.922 I always check the medications. 00:19:23.922 --> 00:19:27.602 When my aunt Mary Louise, who, she was my second mom, I would always check 00:19:27.602 --> 00:19:31.962 the medication and on several occasions I found the pain medication missing. 00:19:32.442 --> 00:19:36.402 That she had a 30 day supply, and all of a sudden she has a 20 day supply. 00:19:36.972 --> 00:19:37.627 So there's a problem. 00:19:38.652 --> 00:19:42.042 And I didn't do it often, but I did do it often enough to find two 00:19:42.042 --> 00:19:45.342 instances where somebody in the staff was taking her pain medication. 00:19:45.972 --> 00:19:48.462 Also, I look at the strength of the medication. 00:19:48.942 --> 00:19:54.182 If a patient has, is diagnosed with bipolar and they're given a 00:19:54.182 --> 00:19:57.992 certain psychotropic drug of 50 milligrams and you check on it. 00:19:57.992 --> 00:20:00.782 You ask your pharmacist, they're not gonna ask their pharmacist. 00:20:01.082 --> 00:20:03.787 Most places they don't have a pharmacist there to ask. 00:20:04.427 --> 00:20:06.017 You can pick up the phone and call. 00:20:06.017 --> 00:20:06.917 Maybe they can't. 00:20:07.727 --> 00:20:12.137 Is 50 milligrams the right dosage for somebody with this diagnosis? 00:20:12.617 --> 00:20:16.487 And then the pharmacist might ask a few questions about how severe the problem is. 00:20:16.997 --> 00:20:18.977 You might even ask the internist. 00:20:19.437 --> 00:20:21.807 There's usually a medical director with every facility. 00:20:22.212 --> 00:20:25.512 In fact, by law, they have to be, and usually they're in the facility. 00:20:26.052 --> 00:20:28.782 Go to the medical director's office with a bottle of pills and 00:20:28.782 --> 00:20:30.102 say, look, this is 50 milligrams. 00:20:30.102 --> 00:20:31.002 I look at this online. 00:20:31.182 --> 00:20:32.862 This is a really strong medication. 00:20:34.182 --> 00:20:36.672 Can you get the same result with 25 milligrams? 00:20:37.032 --> 00:20:38.412 Be an advocate. 00:20:38.682 --> 00:20:39.912 Ask questions. 00:20:40.792 --> 00:20:46.042 Look, I wrote the book Medi Scams after my mom was killed in a nursing home. 00:20:46.752 --> 00:20:50.152 She was in a hospital she was 84 years old. 00:20:50.662 --> 00:20:52.162 She had kidney failure. 00:20:52.162 --> 00:20:56.572 She was taken to a hospital, which was an long-term care facility. 00:20:56.572 --> 00:21:00.282 But, she was diagnosed with three different things, including 00:21:00.282 --> 00:21:03.912 heart disease and kidney disease and there was a third thing. 00:21:04.482 --> 00:21:07.722 And they took care of it, and then they figured after four weeks they 00:21:07.722 --> 00:21:11.202 couldn't do anything more for her, so they sent her to a nursing home. 00:21:11.712 --> 00:21:16.632 On the paperwork to the nursing home, it said, do not provide oxygen. 00:21:17.367 --> 00:21:21.777 She had a peritonitis and if they used oxygen, it would kill her. 00:21:21.897 --> 00:21:26.817 And it said in bold, red, type, do not administer oxygen to Mrs. 00:21:26.817 --> 00:21:27.387 Whitlock. 00:21:28.077 --> 00:21:28.557 They did. 00:21:29.277 --> 00:21:33.112 And she was dead within a half hour after arriving at the nursing home. 00:21:33.142 --> 00:21:34.612 Candace Dellacona: Oh my gosh. 00:21:34.662 --> 00:21:39.177 Chuck Whitlock: You just, you gotta be a strong advocate and you have 00:21:39.507 --> 00:21:43.707 to just be aware of all the things that can go on in these facilities. 00:21:43.857 --> 00:21:47.967 My brother was there when my mom died and he told me the story, and that's 00:21:47.967 --> 00:21:52.617 what prompted me to write Medis Scams, a whole book about medical quackery, and 00:21:52.617 --> 00:21:57.617 I did probably 30 national television segments on that very topic, just 00:21:57.617 --> 00:22:01.967 to show America the kinds of things that they needed to watch out for. 00:22:02.537 --> 00:22:05.867 Candace Dellacona: I think what's so hard too, as non-medical people and 00:22:05.867 --> 00:22:10.757 the way that our society generally respects and reveres those In the 00:22:10.757 --> 00:22:14.567 medical profession, it's really hard to question the people that we're 00:22:14.567 --> 00:22:17.087 relying on to give us the best advice. 00:22:17.627 --> 00:22:22.417 And I think, making sure that our listeners and those who are advocating 00:22:22.417 --> 00:22:29.317 for our loved ones understand that asking questions is not disrespectful at all, 00:22:29.647 --> 00:22:36.217 and doctors and caregivers are humans and recognizing their own humanity and their 00:22:36.217 --> 00:22:39.037 ability to make a mistake is so important. 00:22:39.337 --> 00:22:42.607 No one else is looking in on your loved one the way that you do. 00:22:43.237 --> 00:22:48.957 And this information is so incredibly helpful to people to not be afraid to 00:22:48.957 --> 00:22:55.237 ask those really hard questions and ask to talk to those in charge because 00:22:55.237 --> 00:22:59.227 they're the ones that set the policy and set the tone within the facility. 00:22:59.997 --> 00:23:03.622 I just wanna talk a little bit about, and I know you've been generous with 00:23:03.622 --> 00:23:08.452 your time, but I do wanna talk a bit about the financial exploitation 00:23:08.752 --> 00:23:10.552 that you are seeing with seniors. 00:23:10.552 --> 00:23:15.572 And I know you just had the occasion to speak to thousands of law enforcement 00:23:15.572 --> 00:23:21.452 officers specifically about how we become so vulnerable to these 00:23:21.452 --> 00:23:24.962 instances of financial exploitation. 00:23:24.962 --> 00:23:30.232 And what's your best advice for those of us listening, to know what 00:23:30.232 --> 00:23:35.032 to look out for and why are we so vulnerable to these scams, Chuck? 00:23:36.295 --> 00:23:37.685 Chuck Whitlock: Candace, your questions are so good. 00:23:37.735 --> 00:23:38.905 These are great questions. 00:23:39.175 --> 00:23:44.850 But let me just tell you, whenever there's a dramatic need, there is 00:23:45.150 --> 00:23:47.970 a strong possibility of a scam. 00:23:48.780 --> 00:23:50.190 And I'll give you an example. 00:23:50.310 --> 00:23:54.930 There was a well-known comedian who had terminal cancer, stage four cancer. 00:23:55.590 --> 00:23:57.900 The oncologist tried everything they could. 00:23:58.200 --> 00:23:59.910 They couldn't cure him. 00:23:59.910 --> 00:24:02.040 They told him he had 60 days to live. 00:24:02.490 --> 00:24:05.640 He heard about a psychic surgeon in the Philippines for only 00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:11.550 $150,000, they could remove the cancer from his body psychically. 00:24:12.540 --> 00:24:17.090 He got on an airplane and he went to the Philippines and he had psychic 00:24:17.090 --> 00:24:22.515 surgery and they dramatically pulled out a tumor with blood on it and they 00:24:22.515 --> 00:24:25.875 shook it and he could see it, and they threw it into a bowl of water. 00:24:26.295 --> 00:24:28.395 And they said, now stand up. 00:24:28.455 --> 00:24:29.145 And he did. 00:24:29.715 --> 00:24:32.505 And there were no incisions in his body. 00:24:32.535 --> 00:24:35.025 He was, oh my, this really worked. 00:24:35.515 --> 00:24:40.145 And he gave them, believe it or not, he gave them an extra 50,000. 00:24:40.145 --> 00:24:42.815 He was so impressed that they had saved his life. 00:24:43.325 --> 00:24:45.545 He came back to the States and was dead a month later. 00:24:47.225 --> 00:24:50.195 People who are desperate will do almost anything. 00:24:50.525 --> 00:24:54.665 And when they're given an opportunity to save their life or a loved one's life, 00:24:55.145 --> 00:24:59.585 and they're convinced that the oncologists really don't want to talk about this, 00:24:59.585 --> 00:25:03.255 because they would lose all that business, the pharmaceutical companies would 00:25:03.255 --> 00:25:05.625 lose all those pharmaceutical sales. 00:25:06.015 --> 00:25:10.875 So that's why people like they, they talk about people like us who are legitimate. 00:25:11.085 --> 00:25:13.485 Well, they're not legitimate Candace, they're con artists. 00:25:13.980 --> 00:25:16.110 And that's an extreme example. 00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:21.600 But there are so many people out there who are desperate for a 00:25:21.600 --> 00:25:27.600 solution and people that have mental disorders, bipolar, schizophrenia 00:25:28.420 --> 00:25:29.500 any number of mental disorder. 00:25:31.375 --> 00:25:34.015 They probably are not gonna get better, which is one of the most 00:25:34.015 --> 00:25:35.935 frustrating things for caregivers. 00:25:36.325 --> 00:25:39.625 They're used to mom coming home with a hip replacement. 00:25:39.685 --> 00:25:40.015 Okay? 00:25:40.015 --> 00:25:42.055 They take care of mom and she gets better. 00:25:42.445 --> 00:25:48.865 But now you have a mental disorder and nobody has a cure for it. 00:25:48.865 --> 00:25:50.425 They can extend your life. 00:25:50.905 --> 00:25:54.805 They can make your life better from now till the time you're not 00:25:54.805 --> 00:25:56.995 here, but they can't cure you. 00:25:57.370 --> 00:26:00.850 In fact, everybody knows you're probably gonna get worse as time goes on. 00:26:01.480 --> 00:26:07.665 So if you find a charlatan who says, I used to be in the same place you are. 00:26:07.785 --> 00:26:12.045 I couldn't remember what time of day, I couldn't remember my wife's name. 00:26:12.435 --> 00:26:14.175 It sounds too good to be true. 00:26:14.505 --> 00:26:19.410 And somebody that's rational and not desperate, wouldn't 00:26:19.410 --> 00:26:20.730 believe it for a second. 00:26:21.360 --> 00:26:26.010 But when they present this opportunity, this solution, and it sounds so 00:26:26.010 --> 00:26:29.760 good, and they sound so convincing, remember the word is confidence man. 00:26:30.630 --> 00:26:32.190 They're gonna win your confidence. 00:26:32.190 --> 00:26:33.000 How do they do it? 00:26:33.210 --> 00:26:36.000 They wear a white jacket with a stethoscope around their neck. 00:26:36.150 --> 00:26:37.590 They pretend to be doctors. 00:26:37.620 --> 00:26:43.000 Whatever they are, whatever they do to present this unbelievable opportunity. 00:26:44.155 --> 00:26:46.195 To a point where you say, what have I got to lose? 00:26:46.195 --> 00:26:48.625 It's only money and I can't take it with me anyway. 00:26:49.345 --> 00:26:54.495 I've interviewed hundreds of con artists in and out of prison, who specialize 00:26:54.495 --> 00:26:58.095 in medical fraud, selling durable goods to people that didn't need them. 00:26:58.225 --> 00:27:01.195 You get a wheelchair delivered to you and how did this happen? 00:27:01.195 --> 00:27:02.545 I didn't order a wheelchair. 00:27:02.845 --> 00:27:06.745 Somebody stole your identity and they ordered 500 wheelchairs. 00:27:07.075 --> 00:27:10.735 What you have to do when it comes to financial fraud, medical fraud is you 00:27:10.735 --> 00:27:16.795 have to be on your guard when you're going through a traumatic event in 00:27:16.795 --> 00:27:21.595 your life, whether it's a divorce, a bankruptcy, a business reversal, 00:27:22.025 --> 00:27:26.555 a medical problem, whenever you're going through a traumatic event. 00:27:26.915 --> 00:27:32.765 I tell my friends, everybody that I can, speeches that I give, please 00:27:32.765 --> 00:27:38.480 don't react without talking to your lawyer or to an accountant, or to an 00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:41.540 advisor, always get a second opinion. 00:27:41.540 --> 00:27:43.430 That goes for medical issues as well. 00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:45.180 Candace Dellacona: That's good advice though. 00:27:45.180 --> 00:27:48.680 It's, taking a beat and taking a pause. 00:27:49.415 --> 00:27:53.195 Making sure that the information you've been provided, which seems 00:27:53.855 --> 00:27:59.705 custom fit to the problem that you have, is actually the right solution. 00:27:59.705 --> 00:28:05.545 And really seeking out the experts that can validate whatever claims are being 00:28:05.545 --> 00:28:07.885 made, whether it's financial or medical. 00:28:08.425 --> 00:28:10.075 I think that's really great advice. 00:28:10.075 --> 00:28:13.645 Chuck, I just wanna say thank you so much for joining us. 00:28:14.095 --> 00:28:18.710 And for all of your efforts in putting together LifeSource a 00:28:18.710 --> 00:28:24.830 Caregiver's Guide to Managing Mental Wellness for the Older Adult. 00:28:24.890 --> 00:28:31.490 It is a book that is so needed, especially for those of us in the sandwich generation 00:28:31.490 --> 00:28:36.710 who are looking for a guidebook, which you and Peggy really came up with. 00:28:36.710 --> 00:28:41.450 So we're really delighted to have you on the podcast today. 00:28:42.365 --> 00:28:44.225 Chuck Whitlock: Candace, I can't thank you enough for letting me 00:28:44.225 --> 00:28:49.385 share what knowledge I have about the Sandwich generation caregiver. 00:28:49.385 --> 00:28:53.075 My heart goes out to each and every one of those folks, and if there's ever 00:28:53.075 --> 00:28:55.535 anything I can do to help, I'm your guy. 00:28:55.845 --> 00:28:57.315 And trust me, I've been there. 00:28:57.375 --> 00:28:58.635 I know what you're going through. 00:28:59.025 --> 00:29:02.445 And all I can tell you is I came out the other end. 00:29:02.595 --> 00:29:04.095 My kids have turned out great. 00:29:04.555 --> 00:29:09.205 My ex-wife is in long-term care, but she's getting the kind of care that she needs 00:29:09.535 --> 00:29:12.055 and she's getting great qualified care. 00:29:12.660 --> 00:29:14.170 Candace Dellacona: And you've helped so many people along 00:29:14.170 --> 00:29:15.495 the way, Chuck, so thank you. 00:29:16.075 --> 00:29:16.765 Chuck Whitlock: Thank you.