Hi there and welcome. If you're here, I know you're a homeschool mom who wants the best for her kids. More freedom, more love of learning, more connection, more joy. Homeschooling is supposed to give us all of that. Right?

But sometimes doesn't it feel like we're losing our joy instead of finding it? Maybe your days have started to feel like you're putting out one fire after another and those dreams of that enriching peaceful homeschool environment feel really far away. Maybe you're a brand new homeschool mom or kind of in the newish first five years, and it already feels a lot tougher than you thought it would be. Are your kids nagging and complaining too much? Do you feel like less of a loving parent and more like a boot camp drill sergeant?

Honestly, sometimes our homeschooling can fall into some negative cycles and it can be really exhausting. And then there's that pressure, that constant feeling of being behind that no matter what you do, it's never enough. And if you're anything like the homeschool moms that I mentor in Thrive, sometimes these questions keep you up at night. Are my kids learning enough? Am I doing too much?

Am I enough? And even though you're surrounded by little people, somehow you're like, wait a minute. I still feel really isolated and alone. Does any of that strike a chord? If it does, you're not alone.

These are real struggles, but they don't have to define your homeschool experience. They don't have to rob you of the joy that you dreamed of when you started this journey. Today, we're tackling four of the biggest homeschool joy stealers head on. We're gonna talk about nagging and complaining kids and what to do about it, how to get off that hamster wheel of constantly feeling behind, what to do with that worry that always seems to sabotage our peace, and the game changing impact of finding supportive community that you can rely on. By the end of this episode, you'll have tools and insights to take back some peace, confidence, and your connection with your kids.

Because homeschooling doesn't have to feel this hard, and you don't have to do it alone. So grab some coffee, start folding that twenty thousandth load of laundry that I know you have sitting there clean in the corner. Right now, this is your time. Let's get started. Okay.

Welcome or welcome back. I'm Christy Faith, author of Homeschool Rising, speaker and founder of Thrive Homeschool Community, an online community where we help you fail proof your homeschool while building your skills as a homeschooling parent. It's where you find my homeschool success framework, my fail safe homeschool setup, as well as live trainings and Zooms where we get to connect with each other. We've mastered what people have told me. You're not gonna be able to do that, Christy.

Real connection over an online platform. In Thrive, you'll find real friendships with like minded moms, meaningful mentorship by experts who actually know what they're talking about, and unwavering support from other parents like you who truly care about homeschooling. Alright, mamas. Let's get into our first topic of today. I wanna take a moment here because this topic is one that we all face at one point or another.

Nagging, complaining, or resistance from our kids can feel like it's chipping away at our homeschool joy. And if we're honest with ourselves, I need to be honest with myself here too, the nagging and complaining can be incredibly triggering for us. It's so easy for those moments of friction to escalate quickly and before we know it, negativity and resistance start to feel like the norm. I've been there and it can be exhausting. But here's the good news, there is a way to turn it around.

The first big mindset shift that changed everything for me is remembering that behavior is communication. This is not something that they are doing to me personally. That was freeing. When our kids act out, they're not doing it to make everything harder for us even though it does feel like that sometimes. Often, they're telling us something that they really can't put into words.

Maybe they're overwhelmed, maybe they don't know how to start, or maybe they just need a little extra connection with us. When you can pause and approach these behaviors with curiosity instead of frustration, you can create a space for understanding and more real solutions. But I'll be honest, staying curious and calm isn't instinctive frustrated or when we've heard the same complaint five times in a row that very morning. That's why managing our own emotions is just as important as helping our kids manage theirs. This is nothing new.

This is based on over seventy years of research. So one thing that you can do right now right away is when you start feeling that trigger rise up and you feel that in your body, try this little reset in the moment. Take a deep breath, plant your feet on the ground, and remind yourself this is a signal. This is not a personal attack. I can handle this.

That moment of grounding can help you respond instead of react. Now let's talk about actionable strategies to shift these dynamics and create more peace in your homeschool day. So number one here is set clear expectations and a predictable routine. This is so very important. Kids do so much better when they know what's coming up in their day, in their week, in their month.

Uncertainty leaves kids feeling anxious and out of control and that's when behaviors can spiral. Think about this in your own life when you don't know what's next, you don't know what's happening. It's a little bit more anxiety ridden, isn't it? One gift you can give to yourself, mama, is building a simple daily rhythm, and it truly can transform your homeschool. I know it sounds really simple, but girl, from experience, let me tell you, it works.

One thing you can do, for example, is say, first, we'll work on math, then reading, then we'll take a snack break, and then we'll go outside. I'm more of a printed schedule girly, but you don't have to be. You just have to make sure your kids kind of know what's next. And maybe they're too young to remember that whole list, so it is helpful to write it down. And some of you may not need that.

Your kids are just fine with kind of a verbal checklist for the day. It all depends on your kid's age and stage. But giving your kiddos a framework will make them feel more secure, and it will make the complaining and the questions and the nagging a lot less. Tip number two, validate their feelings without giving into the concerning behavior. So what this looks like is maybe when your child resists or complains, you can start by acknowledging what they're feeling.

You can say something like, I can tell math feels really frustrating right now. It shows them that you're on their side, which helps them feel less defensive. You don't have to change the expectation, but showing empathy builds connection and it lowers resistance and makes them more receptive to your help. Now on to number three, there's gonna be five. Number three is offer choices within boundaries.

Sometimes kids just wanna feel like they have some say in their day. You can meet that need for autonomy by offering small manageable choices. For instance, you can say, would you like to do your math worksheet at the table or on the couch? Or would you like to do math first or reading first? Giving kids power in smaller ways helps them cooperate with the bigger picture.

Number four was a game changer for me, and this is stay steady so you can co regulate. When your kids' emotions are big, your calm can help them find theirs. This can look like speaking softly using slower movements and offering them your presence. You might say something like, take a deep breath with me. We'll figure this out together.

Modeling calm in moments of chaos teaches our kiddos how to handle their own frustration in the future. And number five, reflect and problem solve after the moment passes. When intensity has died down, this is when we can take a little time to discuss with our kiddos happened. This is where the teaching can happen. It can't happen when your kid's nervous system is dysregulated or in fight, flight, or freeze.

You might say, hey, I noticed that math felt really hard for you yesterday. Can we have a discussion about how we can help you for tomorrow? This is your chance, mama, to discover what's behind the behavior and teach your kiddo problem solving skills. But above all, and I know I just went over five tips, here's the most freeing truth that I want you to hold on to. You don't have to do this perfectly.

There will be moments when you lose your patience, when you wish you'd handled things differently, or when it feels like nothing is working. But every single one of those moments is a chance to repair and reconnect. As a matter of fact, I did this this morning. I spoke in a way that I wasn't proud of. I had to calm myself down.

And when I came back, I came in and I apologized to my kiddos and I told them that I was really struggling today and they just came back with empathy even though I had said things that weren't kind. You can always come back to your child and say, I didn't handle that the way that I wished I did and I am so sorry. I love you. How can I make this right? By focusing on connection, breaking down those hard moments, and learning together, you're not just solving today's challenges, you're teaching your kids skills that will last a lifetime.

From emotional regulation to problem solving to how to work through frustration with someone who loves them. You got this mama, one moment at a time. Alright. Next, we're gonna tackle another big homeschool issue that can steal your joy. That constant nagging feeling that you're always behind.

Sound familiar? Stick with me because we're gonna unpack that and lighten your load together right after this. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle to bring my educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest, it's a challenge. Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal.

But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum. Now many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have? BGU Press Homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age family together on the couch learning style. They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons.

To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too. Visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes. Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, or math? If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles. You've poured love, time, and attention into their education, yet the struggle persists, leaving you feeling stuck and desperately searching for answers.

You guys, I want you to know about LearningRx, a proven program designed to help your child's cognitive skills, enabling them to think faster, learn more easily, and perform at their best. I'm talking getting real long term help here with things like ADHD and dyslexia. LearningRx is backed by thirty five years of research, and their results are transformative. Use code HOME 50 for $50 off your cognitive skills assessment. Go to LearningRx.com or click the link in the show notes.

Okay. We're back. Let's tackle our second big challenge that has a sneaky way of stealing our homeschool joy. And oh, boy, this one had a grip on me for years. I'm talking about that constant feeling of being behind, and I know you know that feeling.

When I first started homeschooling, not only did I feel behind every single day, but then at the end of my week, I layer it on even thicker. And, man, I was a pretty unhappy homeschooler. Raise your hand even if you're folding that laundry for a minute if you have ever felt behind. You know, at the end of the day, you're staring at your to do list thinking, how did I only cross off two things? What do I have to show for our day?

Or you have that moment where you're looking at the homeschool curriculum in spring, and you're wondering, how are we way back here? There's so much more to do for the year. Friend, if that's you, I see you, and I have been there too a lot. Here's the thing about that feeling of perpetual behindness. Yes.

I think I just made up a word. Here's the thing. It doesn't come out of nowhere. It typically has two troublemakers working behind the scenes. First is that comparison trap.

Oh, man. Is that a hard one? You didn't plan to compare yourself to your neighbor who seems like she's raising the next Einstein or that Instagram mom with her picture picture perfect timeline, but somehow they're organized picture perfect lives with their perfect kids winning all of the awards. It wiggles its way into our thoughts. And then suddenly, our day of messy, beautiful, real learning doesn't feel good enough anymore.

And second is that invisible pressure of timelines. Society, schools, even that faint voice from your childhood tells you that learning has to happen in a certain way at a certain speed. You might have chosen to homeschool because you wanted freedom, but that timeline still whispers at us, keep up, keep up, your child's behind. But here's the truth, the kind of truth that I want you to etch into your heart. Educating a child is not a race.

There is no finish line. No one's handing out gold stars because your child finished third grade math in April instead of June. Those concepts like ahead and behind that we fret over, that the system frets over, then subsequently labels kids as something wrong with them. They're arbitrary. They're made up.

They don't factor in the beauty of late bloomers and how curiosity doesn't stick to schedules. Now we do need a disclaimer here because as an educational expert who did interventions with kids, I read IEPs every single day when we were running our learning center. I do feel like there is a time and a place for an intervention and, yes, even diagnoses in children. What we're talking about here today though is kind of this manufactured comparison of feeling behind or that we're not doing enough or that there's some sort of a schedule that we need to be keeping to and pushing our kids to adhere to. What we're talking about today is that unfair thought life that we can subject ourselves to when it's not really grounded in truth.

Speaking of truth, here's another truth that might just set you free. As you know, one of the top arguments against homeschooling is what if they fall behind? But meanwhile, have you seen the latest from The Nation's Report Card? The results show that even conventional schools aren't ahead, yet the system keeps moving kids along. That should tell us something.

Right? We don't have to buy into these ideas of behind. Instead, we can shift our focus to give our kiddos what they need when they need it and rewrite the story that we're telling ourselves. Here are a few strategies that have been a total game changer for me and I hope they do the same for you. The first one is to reassess your goals.

Something you can do is take a step back and ask, what am I really trying to achieve here? Your goal probably isn't just to power through a math curriculum by June for the sake of saying that you did. Right? Most likely, you're here to raise curious confident kids who love learning. So please know that it is okay to pivot.

Maybe your child spends extra time mastering fractions and algebra waits until next year. It's okay. Or maybe they thrive in something completely unplanned like writing a story or building a birdhouse. The beauty of homeschooling is we can hit pause for where we need to and fast forward when they're ready. On to tip number two, celebrate progress instead of perfection.

If you are constantly focused on the unfinished stuff, it will drain you. Something we can do is shift our perspective and start celebrating everything that we have accomplished in our homeschools. And I even coach moms to write this down if they can. Maybe it's small, like we worked through subjects and predicates today, or we laughed through a science experiment that flopped. Or maybe it's big, like my child finally read that tricky word without pausing.

A journal of wins, even tiny ones, will remind you that this messy homeschool life is productive in ways beyond checkboxes. Okay. Number three, embrace seasonal homeschooling. Learning doesn't have to follow a straight line. If a subject feels like a slog, take a break and then circle back.

Your homeschool can have seasons. Some months might focus heavily on nature studies or creative writing and other seasons might be math heavy. And if winter feels like a time when your family wants to rest and snuggle up with books, then lean into that. You are not bound by school calendars or arbitrary pacing guidelines. And last with number four, be gentle with yourself.

The pressure you're feeling to do all of the things, most of it, we put on ourselves. And this is something I need to say to myself right now. We don't have to be perfect to raise amazing kids. Some days will be hard. There will be tears.

Maybe yours, maybe theirs. But homeschooling is a marathon, not a sprint. Mistakes don't ruin this experience. They can teach us. And here's my favorite truth of all, your kids won't remember whether you finished that lesson on time or skipped three chapters in the geography book.

What they will remember is the way you showed up for them. They'll remember the time you spent together, the laughter during the read alouds, the afternoons where you ditched the math book and went on a nature walk instead. Homeschooling isn't about picture perfect plans or perfect days. It's about connection, curiosity, and creating a life where learning feels good. So please know that as long as you are focused on giving your kids what they need, you are right where you need to be, and so are they.

Alright. It's time to talk about joy stealer number three, and this one is a doozy. It creeps in when you're lying awake at night or sipping a cold cup of coffee because let's be honest, we never get to drink ours hot. In fact, this is cold right now. That's right.

We're gonna talk about worry. Oh, and I know you know the drill. You're just brushing your teeth or you're pushing the cart through the grocery aisles and out of nowhere, bam, those questions hit you like a rogue dodgeball. Am I messing up my kids? Are they learning enough?

Are they going to live in my basement forever with 23 cats and an unhealthy obsession with video games? And why does it hit so hard? Because homeschooling is not just a job. Oh, no. It's a job plus a roller coaster of emotions where every decision feels like it's shaping our kids' futures.

No pressure. Right? Suddenly, we're not just teaching how to write a topic sentence. We're over here worrying that today's missed lesson will somehow trigger the downfall of their entire academic career. It's exhausting.

Now here's the thing about worry. It's tricky because it feels productive. But spoiler alert, it's not. It's like carrying around a backpack full of bricks labeled what ifs and convincing yourself that they're necessary school supplies, and they're not. They're just weighing you down.

So how do we have the big breakup with worry? How do we stop carrying that unhelpful bag and actually lighten our load? Let's break it down with some real talk and practical strategies right after the break. Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that's been a game changer for our homes chool. At our center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every math program on the market and know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures.

As a career educator with high standards, finding the right program that checked all the boxes felt like too tall of an order. Until one day, I tried CTC Math. CTC Math is an online math curriculum for k to 12 students with motivating interactive lessons that allow kids to learn at their own pace. It does all the teaching and grading so you don't have to, and their adaptive lessons adjust so your child is progressing confidently. With CTC Math, your child is getting a top notch education and you just made your homeschool life easier.

Visit ctcmath.com to start your free trial today or click the link in the show notes. I've got some news. There's a new reading curriculum that ditches workbooks and drills for fun and games. If you're thinking fun and games sounds a little too good to be true, it's not. Ninety eight percent of children improved their reading test scores in just six weeks with the reading skill set by Lovevery.

It's a phonics based program that follows a science of reading, but makes learning to read fun, motivating, and confidence boosting because it happens by playing games and then practicing with just right skill level books. Kids love it and parent educators love it, and it works. Visit lovevery.com/christyfaith today and use code christy 10 to get 10% off your purchase of the reading skill set by lovevery. That's lovevery.com/christyfaith. So before the break, we were talking about worry, and now I wanna dive into some practical strategies to tackle this sneaky joy stealer head on.

And can I share something with you? I've noticed for me when I really start to spiral into worry, it's almost never about the thing I'm fixated on. Like that time I totally melted down because my kid wasn't picking up multiplication tables fast enough. I told myself it was about math, but deep down, it really wasn't about the math at all. It was about me feeling like I was messing this up and I was filled with worry about it.

Like, I'm not doing enough. Like, somehow I'm failing my kids. It's never fun to admit it, but recognizing it was a game changer for me. And here's the thing though, we can't just sit in that place of fear. Worry is exhausting and it doesn't solve anything.

What we can do is refocus, get clear on what's really going on, name it, and then we can lighten our load. And that's where these steps come in. Number one, start by identifying the fear behind the worry. Ask yourself, what am I really afraid of here? Is it that your kid isn't picking up the spelling fast enough?

Or is it that their social skills aren't where you think they should be? Because when you name it, you can then question it. You can ask, is this fear valid or is this just a story that I've made up in my head? This is when we can start talking to our fears. We can remind ourselves that education is a long game.

There's time to address these things. That a classroom or putting your kids in school doesn't solve the problem that you're facing today. And that only you are the one that can solve this effectively. Telling yourself the truth is powerful, which leads us to number two, anchoring ourselves in reality. When worry spins you up, pause and look at what is actually true.

And you know what? I think it helps to write it down. And I talk about this, writing down your gains. Write down how far you've come, everything that you've learned, the progress that you've seen. Evidence helps.

Can I tell you that I had to do this today? Man, I'm filming this episode on, like, the perfect day because it's like I'm checking off the boxes of this episode's for me, people. Number three, give yourself permission to embrace the chaos. Perfection is not required here, like not at all. Homeschooling is not some perfectly curated Instagram feed where kids work happily on their color coded projects.

It's messy. It's chaotic. It's loud. And yeah, it's real. That disaster lesson where the fractions turned into a brownie fight, hey, they still practice their fractions.

Kids don't need a perfect parent. They don't need a perfect day. They need a present parent, one who shows up, who loves them, and guides them through their education and their life. Number four strategy to tackle that worry is to take action even if it's a tiny one. This one is so important.

If you're stuck in a worry spiral, pick something small and actionable to do. Read a chapter book with your kid, tackle that math problem together, or set up that science experiment that you've been putting off. Action shrinks worry every time. It's like telling your brain, hey, we're moving forward now. We got this.

And number five, zoom out and see the bigger picture. When your thoughts start to spiral, picture your kid as an adult. Not the stressed out basement dwelling version worry keeps whispering about, but the adult who knows they're loved, supported, and capable because you modeled those things for them. That's what matters and that's what lasts. And honestly, the fact that you're even here worrying about all this stuff, it shows how much you care.

And that care, that's what your kids will remember. Not the messiness, not the missed lessons, but the love and the belief you poured into them every single day. Okay. So that's enough about worry. Let's move on to our next thing that can truly steal our homeschool joy.

I wanna talk about space. Not the galaxy kind, though wouldn't little escape to Mars be nice some days? Let's be honest. What I'm talking about is the kind of space you carve out for yourself in the homeschooling chaos. Trust me.

You need this. Yes. You. And no. It is not selfish even if it feels that way.

And I had to include this in today's episode because it's not talked about enough. Often homeschool moms feel pretty isolated. Homeschooling can feel lonely even when you're surrounded by your kids twenty four seven. You're in the trenches giving so much of yourself, and yet sometimes you're without a community where you feel seen and heard, and it can be hard to keep your head above water, especially on the tough days. And here's the extra layer that makes this so important for us.

We know that homeschooling isn't always celebrated or even understood by society. People have questions. They have skepticism. They have criticism of the choices we make. Often, feels like the world is side eyeing us, just waiting for us to slip up.

That makes our connection with each other, homeschooling moms together even more crucial. You need people that get you, that understand you. We need to band together not just for support, but to remind ourselves that we are capable and we are doing what is best for our families. But I hear this over and over again. It is so hard to find your homeschooling tribe.

And why is it so hard? Honestly, I think it boils down to a couple of things. Sometimes we're afraid of being judged. We think that we need to have it all together before we can join a co op or hop into a group. And if a group makes you feel that way, it's the wrong group.

It's not your group. Right? Because spoiler alert, no one has it all together. And then other times, we just can't seem to find the people who share our values, our approach, or maybe even our love of quoting random pop culture references during history lessons. That can't just be me.

Right? But something we need to accept is that humans were created for connection. We were not meant to do this life alone. Even superheroes have sidekicks. Right?

Imagine Batman tackling all of Gotham by himself. No. He needs a Robin and you you need community. So how do we fight back against that isolation? Let's go into a couple things here.

The first thing that you can do is take a small step to connect. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. You can join a co op, check out a homeschool meetup at the library, or even strike up a conversation with another homeschool parent at the park. Yeah. It might feel awkward like trying to start a conversation at a middle school dance, but it just might lead to friendships that help you stay grounded when you're ready to lose it over a spelling list.

Another thing that you can do that really we all should be doing, and actually I talk about this in my mom's night out talk that I give at conferences, is be vulnerable. Here's the thing about relationships that matter. They need honesty. If you're having a tough homeschooling day or week or year, find someone that doesn't say, this is really hard. Just put your kids back in school because that's not what you want.

Find someone that you can trust that shares your homeschooling conviction who can be with you through the hard times. It's amazing how much connection can happen when you admit, hey, this is hard, and there's someone else that says, you too? The you too is so powerful, and you can only find that through vulnerability and connection. And the last thing that you can do is make some efforts to build a little bit of community for yourself. If you still feel like you haven't found your people, maybe make your own space.

Invite a few other homeschool parents for a no pressure coffee chat. Plan a casual park day or even brainstorm a group project that everyone's kids can be a part of. You don't have to plan a full blown co op year. It can just be a single project. Creating community is simpler than you think, and chances are there are often other parents nearby who are craving that connection too.

Oh, which reminds me, if you're curious about joining or leaving a co op that's not working, check out the episode that I did on that. I'll pop the link in the show notes for you. And, of course, this is the perfect moment to talk about where Thrive Homeschool Community can come in for you. It's a place where we only accept imperfect homeschool moms. The perfect ones are kicked out, where we can admit our struggles, and where we can celebrate wins together, even the I survived Monday kind of wins.

If you're not already part of Thrive Homeschool Community, consider this your personal invitation from me. We've saved you a seat, and I cannot wait to see you on our live Zoom calls. And here's the bottom line. When you have a tribe that gets it, everything feels lighter. The hard days don't feel quite so impossible, and joy has more room to breathe.

Okay. So deep breath. We've actually covered quite a bit today. I probably should have put this in a couple of episodes. We've talked about the challenges of homeschooling, the things that can steal our joy, and the steps that we can take to fight back.

And here's what I want you to remember as we wrap up. Joy isn't something that just shows up when life is perfect. It never is. Joy is something that you grow even in the middle of the mess and your imperfect life. You are a capable homeschool mom.

You are enough. Your kids don't need a flawless teacher or the mom who's checked every box on the to do list. You know what they need? They need you. So with a little perspective and a whole lot of grace and the support of a community, you're shaping something beautiful, not only for your kids, but for you too.

Thanks for joining me today. Happy homeschooling. Bye.