I asked him what was different now–
(After the somatic work,
after facing what he'd been avoiding his whole life.)
"I believe in myself now.
I feel stronger inside. I love myself."
He'd never been able to say that before.
But here's what got me:
His daughter is 11.
Before the work,
if you asked her to look in the mirror and say
"I love you" to herself–
She'd start crying.
His son, 9 years old–
Same thing.
Now–
They can both look in the mirror and say it.
And they feel it.
His wife had enough.
After years of trying to connect with a man
who was there but not really there–
Who'd escape to his garage, his tools,
anywhere but the discomfort of being present–
She initiated the separation.
70% of divorces are initiated by women.
The reason is consistent–
Not because the love disappeared,
but because they've been trying to reach someone
who's been dissociated from themselves for years.
He thought he was always right.
Everyone else was wrong.
(Classic avoidant shutdown.)
The wakeup call came when she said:
"I'm done. I'm moving out."
That's when he reached out.
The Overview Experience was where we began–
A meditation where he finally connected
with the younger parts of himself that he'd abandoned.
He started shaking.
Trembling.
Releasing decades of held emotion.
"I've never had that connection before."
Six months later:
His kids are excelling in school, sports, life.
He told me what neighbors have been noticing–
"The kids are wanting to hang out with me now.
It's amazing."
He got a promotion and a raise at work.
(Leadership emerges when you're no longer at war with yourself.)
He went from angry at his ex to grateful–
"I love her for what she did.
Everything she's done has been amazing."
They're co-parenting peacefully now.
The best part–
"If I know how to connect with me,
I know how to connect with them."
His kids learned by watching him heal.
They didn't need therapy.
They didn't need special programs.
They needed a dad who could look in the mirror and love himself–
(So they could learn to do the same.)
The work we avoid doing on ourselves
doesn't just affect us.
It spills.
Onto our partners.
Our kids.
Our teams.
Our entire lives.
And the beautiful thing about healing–
It's contagious too.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
_______________________________________________________
P.S. If you're in that space–
The limbo of "should I stay or go,"
The pattern of pushing away the people you love,
The exhaustion of maintaining the facade while falling apart inside–
I'm offering a free Blind Spot Session (normally $497).
In 30 minutes, we'll uncover:
The unconscious patterns keeping you stuck
Why your kids (if you have them)
are learning more from your nervous system than your words
The specific shifts needed to move
from avoidant shutdown to magnetic presence.
This isn't about blame.
It's about seeing what you haven't been able to see–
(And taking ownership of the patterns you're passing down.)
Comment or DM with:
Your relationship situation
What you've already tried
What you want to accomplish
End with: "Nima, can I please get a link to your private calendar?"
What is Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)?
Welcome to the TriggerProof podcast.
This is the first season of the Podcast which are audio renditions of
Facebook Live Video Transmissions done for the “TriggerProof” Facebook Community.
These were set up by request of our community members who wanted an opportunity to listen
to insights, tools, and strategies to help heal relationship dynamics, deepen intimacy,
and master the fine art of Autonomic Nervous System Regulation so that we can build resilience,
heal from the past, and become active operators of our mind, body, and life.
This first season wasn’t designed to be a podcast, so you’ll notice the audio isn’t
Professional Studio Quality (like it is on season 2 as we’ve upgraded incrementally).
These trainings are designed to introduce and deepen you to the most critical 2 skills we’ve never been taught:
1) The skill and practice of taking our triggers (Nervous System Activations) and turning them into deeper safety and self-love,
2) The skill and practice of taking conflict (that happens in any relationship) and turning them into deeper intimacy between the parties involved.
Not learning these two critical skills at this time in history costs us dearly: Physical and Mental health is on the DECLINE.
Doing this deep level of healing work can break the cycle of Intergenerational Trauma that didn’t start with you.
It didn’t start with you, but it can end with you,
#Cyclebreaker.
______________________________________________________________________
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/triggerproof