The Dad Manual

What happens inside a man when he finds out he's going to be a dad — and he's still months away?

Vascular surgeon and expectant father Lucas Ferrer joins Tony Cooper for a candid conversation about what life looks like at 25 weeks pregnant. Lucas opens up about the in-between feeling of impending fatherhood — the moments of disconnection at work and the gut-punch of feeling Santiago kick for the first time. Together, Tony and Lucas explore generational patterns, the fear culture Lucas grew up with in Puerto Rico, and the powerful model his grandfather set. This is a rare, honest look inside the heart and mind of a man preparing to become a dad.

Key Takeaways:
  • The emotional reality of expectant fatherhood often oscillates between disconnection and profound shock
  • Becoming a parent heightens awareness of unconscious patterns and generational trauma
  • Growing up around self-aware role models can shape a man's approach to fatherhood long before he becomes a father
  • Fear of risk is a learned behavior — and it can be unlearned
  • Being present as a father starts as an intention you set before the baby arrives
  • A man's relationship with support and community matters as much as his individual inner work
  • Finding a men's group or support network can be transformational, especially in the transition to fatherhood
  • Shifting priorities away from career and toward family requires intentional planning, not just good intentions
  • Speaking to your child before birth — in Lucas's case, in Spanish — is a simple, powerful act of early connection
  • Fatherhood, at its core, is a call to become the best version of yourself
If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.
Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Intro & cold open
01:00 Meet Lucas Ferrer, expectant father at 25 weeks
02:10 A vascular surgeon's approach to pregnancy
03:03 Why "What to Expect" can do more harm than good
04:05 Presence and disconnection during the work day
05:12 Fatherhood as a call to your best self
06:01 Breaking unconscious patterns before the baby arrives
07:32 Growing up in Puerto Rico: family, memory, and roots
09:21 Fear culture and tall poppy syndrome
10:44 Gabor Maté: big T and little T trauma
11:19 Lucas's grandfather: a model of grounded masculinity
13:25 The qualities Lucas wants to carry into fatherhood
15:07 Unlearning fear and choosing adventure
17:01 Allowing failure as a father and mentor
18:48 How the pregnancy happened: intentional and unplanned
20:56 Biology, purpose, and something bigger at play
23:46 Witnessing Courtney's transformation
25:06 Being the rock: emotional steadiness under pressure
26:47 Inner work and patterns Lucas is actively breaking
28:40 Men's groups, community, and being supportable
33:05 Due date, wedding week, and planning for presence
36:56 Final words: fully present is the North Star

Creators and Guests

Host
Tony Cooper
Tony Cooper is the founder of Playing the Game of Business, a business coach, father, and podcast host.

What is The Dad Manual?

The Dad Manual is a fatherhood podcast hosted by Tony Cooper, featuring honest conversations with dads about the real, unfiltered journey of parenthood. This parenting podcast for dads explores everything from the excitement of being a first time dad to navigating the teenage years. As one of the best podcasts for expecting dads and experienced fathers alike, we dive deep into what it actually means to be a modern dad—the struggles, the growth, the mistakes, and the moments that change you forever. Whether you're looking for a new dad podcast or seasoned parenting wisdom, this family podcast delivers the honest guidance you won't find in books.