well hello All You Beautiful
[Music]
People you know what time it
is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and
everyone in
between gather around get you something
real nice to sip on and comfy to slip
on cuz it's time for smut Club here's
your hosts Chelsey and
[Applause]
[Music]
Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut
club I'm owning my
clap and I'm
Hannah solid initial offering today CH
that's only going to get better
because after the Cliffhanger that was
our last episode we did decide to
complete the duet yep um ever last time
we were recording we were just drinking
tea it was like a very cozy day and I
feel like today we are both like Buckle
in yeah yeah today is not a tea day no
unless it's a hot totty moment it's not
yeah I could do a hot totty later yeah
we may need to do that later M so um I'm
just going to like from the jump so the
second book in the series is called
breaking the rules it's well maybe not
obviously it's also by Lucy score
um and it was a real like abrupt ending
in Cliffhanger from the first book yes
and you're like how how are they going
to land this how are they going to
reconcile this m um because it was like
he left essentially yeah like he
ultimately saved her from her
stalker um and she like had almost died
was like by her side through the
hospital and they like she like gets
home and he's like you're damaged and
you're toxic and I can't be with you y
when really it was like a lot of his
self-hatred that he was projecting
because he felt like he was supposed to
keep her safer than he did right um but
yeah so like it ends with like him
drinking himself to sleep every night
and her telling her dad she wants to go
to college like yeah you're like what
okay and so for for how it ended y'all I
just need you to know
okay
so so the next book breaking the rules
starts five years in the future and I
think it just pissed Hannah off as soon
as it did yeah it did it made me big mad
so there's like so anytime this happens
in a book aside from like one that I can
think of and I can't even remember the
title of it aside from one every single
time this happen happens where it's like
if you would just communicate a little
bit and like work it out it's cool but
when it's past like 6 months of not
speaking to each other over something
that's easily solved I'm like this is
[ __ ]
stupid like right well and I I feel like
there a sweet spot in books right
because you're like okay well maybe like
an hour after that large of a conflict
you aren't going to like reconcile but
also we don't need to wait 10 years
before you happen to cross each other on
a sidewalk right yeah I'm like I'm not
no well but this is also like okay and
we're just going to jump in let's go we
are just five years in the future got it
Waverly is on a helicopter sure if you
were for those who might not have
listened to the first episode just as a
little bit of a reminder um Waverly is a
beautiful
actress uh child star parents are
a-listers neppo baby situation yes um
and so 5 years in the future from where
the last book left us she is on a
helicopter and she is bleeding okay and
had to get stitched up and so we just
know she's in the air she's talking to
Kate who was her assistant in the first
book and is asking um about Dante and
we're like okay Dante like that had been
like her former like co-star like what's
happening and she's like are there any
bodies and you're like what the heck is
happening like is this a bit are we in a
scene is she
from where the last book ended to just
like starting here and you're like 5
years in the future she's bleeding in a
helicopter and you're like okay we're
we're really doing the most um as she's
talking to Kate Kate is like yeah don't
worry they're sending a plastic surgeon
to patch you up so it doesn't look like
you got shot and you're like she got
shot what the [ __ ] is she
doing and this isn't like I tripped and
fell and I have a cut she's an actress
what is
happening they tell her she's going to
have to lay low in
bise um there's worse places to lie low
I suppose yeah and that they're like
they're going to release a cover story
and then all we know is that Kate is
like sorry Waverly you're not going to
like the cover story that they went with
and you're like what does that mean that
she had to go to rehab or something
great guess yes that is exactly what
that means um apparently I was the only
one asking what that
means be so we now immediately cut over
to Xavier
um and he's watching the news and seeing
on the news Waverly got a DUI and she's
in rehab and he's like the Waverly I
knew didn't drink she didn't drink like
ever yeah because her mom struggled with
substance use issues and so he's like
something feels very out of place and
something's definitely up here um we
also are just getting a little bit of
like filling in what the last 5 years
have looked like where
um Invictus security Xavier and his
business partner Micah's security
company um is now wildly successful
they've opened several offices so at
minimum they have like LA and New York
and I think London now um so continuing
to expand um but throughout these last
several years Xavier while never he has
not spoken with Waverly has not reached
out to her he has definitely continued
to like keep tabs on her so we find out
a little bit more of what she's been to
the last five years as well um she
graduated from Stanford in three years
with a double major oh excuse me look at
her go yeah for real yeah I'm like what
was the double major I guess it doesn't
matter I don't know if they mentioned it
if they did I definitely did not take
note I'm not even going to pretend she
said it's not relevant really there were
a couple places as I was going through
my notes that I was like huh huh why did
I feel like that was necessary I do that
all the time detail is absolutely
irrelevant because sometimes when I'm
reading I don't know if it's relevant or
not and so I put it in there and then I
go back later and I'm like that is the
most useless piece of information well
and I know we've talked about this
before but like some books that like you
can tell they're dropping that one like
innocuous plot point or just like random
thing early on and then you're like this
is going to be huge Y at the 81 1% Mark
of this book yes and then other books
you're like oo this is going to be huge
and then you're like and they never
mentioned it never again
never um okay what else is
happening so Waverly had graduated with
her impressive double major in three
years um even while she was in school
she still managed to like release one
movie a year um with her co-star Dante
and she has been all over the news
because she's been partying with this
like Russian ays named
Petra um and the way that Xavier kind of
described her is like from what he has
seen of her in the news she has become
all of the things she despised about
Hollywood growing up in it right and
so I'm like I guess part of me is a
little like what's the threshold because
he's been watching her for years being
like man she's just really becoming
everything she despised but like now she
like has a DUI and he's like that's the
line like she was partying a lot but she
didn't drink like I don't know I was
just well I could see it being like a
DUI is not just dangerous for her it's
dangerous for other people yeah and
maybe so for him it's like the person
that he knows would not risk other
people in that way like maybe that's
part of what it is I don't know I may be
giving him too much credit but I'm like
well cuz it's one thing to like get
Smash Hammer drunk at a club when you
have a driver or at home when you're not
going anywhere it's totally different to
get behind the wheel I think
that is also very valid well and
especially when you're like she clearly
has the monetary resources to have a
driver take her home if she does want to
go that hard yes yes um well all this to
say Xavier feels like something is sus
and uh calls in a favor to get a copy of
the police
report
okay I'm like why is that the first
thing you do I guess cuz he hasn't
talked to her in 5 years I'm like maybe
just call her and check in but if you
haven't talked to her in 5 years that
would be more weird I think it's because
this is how he's been keeping tabs on
her for all of these years it would be
more weird if he just called her hey
girl saw you got that DUI how you
do how have you been the last five years
also the last five years is like one of
my favorite musicals ever really um I
don't know why I know it's not like it's
not a top one for a lot of people
there's something really beautiful about
the storytelling in it to me but every
time I read the last 5 years as I was
writing my notes I was thinking of the
soundtrack a have you ever watched it
uh-uh oh do you know the premise of it
uhuh okay so the premise there's no
actual dialogue everything is through
song and story so like one song ends the
next one starts but it is the r almost
like an opera where it's all
song no the songs have clear endings
okay yeah um you're like this song is
ending and I say that because it'll be
like oh so the premise of The Last 5
Years is you have um dual perspective of
their relationship that has uh started
and now ended Over The Last 5 Years um
the very first song is her perspective
where she's at her house and she's like
my marriage is over then all of her
songs are we go in reverse throughout
their story so like her songs all get
happier to like the start of their
relationship and then his songs all
start really happy at the start of their
relationship and then tell the Journey
of like as like more and more tension
and issues have grown but like halfway
through there's like a cross point right
yeah it's very F really good yeah huh um
so that's what I I'll have to find it
somewhere the um the movie adaptation is
Jeremy Jordan and Anna Kendrick oh okay
yes Anna Kendrick's voice is a little
bit nasy for my liking for choosing her
to be the lead but she's also still a
beautiful singer so I'm not really going
to hold it against her because those
songs are hard as [ __ ] and I'm just
sitting on my couch eating potato
chips like crumbs all down my face you
that was a little flat babe like okay
buddy o who do you think you are right
you're a little
flat like when you watch the Olympics
yes like can't believe you didn't stick
that what an idiot people have been
saying it for years I will Advocate
until my dying day just put a normal
person just throw a me on the I'm happy
to be the reference point it will be a
humbling moment where I'm just like with
a bunch of like inline skaters I'm going
to get to like the what do they call it
where they Sprint down and it's not the
pommel horse but it's the thing that's
like springy where they do flips off of
it oh yes the gymnastics one yeah yeah I
would like do a gentle job down and then
like climb over over aop whip your legs
around just hop off the other side stuck
it with the handr at the end yes nailed
the landing
yeah I'll take my gold now thank
you we
would not thrive in that Ro but I would
I would be happy to offer my services
just is a reference for what what real
people look like while doing this okay
so back into the book anyway um Waverly
she I guess it's her house and B that
she like bought a vacation place and so
she's she's laying low there we also get
a little bit more history um from her
perspective where Over The Last 5 Years
um her mom had gone to rehab went her
parents went to therapy like her parents
are in a far healthier place and still
together compared to where we started
right in the first book
um we also know that Marisol the family
like their the family housekeeper I
guess that she grew up with is coming to
bise to check on her as well um and as
we're like getting some like as she's
kind of processing through and you're
just hearing her inner monologue You're
like okay so we know she's still an
actress but there's something
dangerous that she's doing on the side
right what is this A-list celebrity
doing being shot and lying low in B
right because lying about she's not like
an adrenaline junkie it's not like she's
like skydiving right yes so we do then
have a flashback to five days ago not
not a long flashback I'm I'm glad you
didn't reread this book because I think
you were so annoyed the first time you
read it that it just started 5 years in
the future and that she was shot and
you're like what really you're like this
is where we we chose to go like
well and we talked about this before
especially because it happened on Alias
where like when they had the season of
Alias with like the huge Cliffhanger and
you're like where are they going to land
this like how are we ever going to get
out of here and then they just like
jumped a shark and jumped a few seasons
ahead or a few years ahead into the next
season right and I feel like that's what
happened here and I feel like you were
just so annoyed with how it started that
you were like I
can't suspend belief for anything that
happens in this book well and I think
the two stories if they had been
separate would have hit different for me
potentially but because they like were
trying to make them connected and they
felt so disjointed because I read them
back to back that maybe that was part of
it for
me so
I literally saw it on Goodreads earlier
I've read the
series like three times now I like I
read it once in like 2021 I read it once
in like early 2022 when you and I had
initially talked about outlining it and
then I reread it today or not well not
today but for this before this um in
2024
and every time I've read it it has been
a different experience and like
different things have stood out to me
and like the first time I read it I
really enjoyed it the second time I read
it I was so annoyed with him the whole
time and this time like other like I
don't know it's it's always fascinating
to me like when you re you can reread
the same book like especially a good
Comfort read but like every time you
read it different details will stand out
to you
um I was not as annoyed with him this
time as I was last time but I'm also
wondering if I was so annoyed last time
cuz you and I were texting about it and
you were so pissed I tainted your
experience for your second read maybe
maybe I can own that you know what also
probably tainted my experience of my
second read that you were pregnant yeah
like um rounding out my first trimester
of just like horrific food aversion
oh yeah it was pretty bad wasn't it yeah
like yeah not not the actual morning
sickness or but just like the like what
you could and could not eat girl yeah I
remember yeah like we stopped buying
groceries we're like there's no
point that's true every time I was over
here y'all had like door Dash or Uber
Eats from like Chick-fil-A you didn't
even eat chicken before you vegetarian
but it's all this baby [ __ ]
wants but I the same time I was like you
know if my body is telling me I need
protein this badly I should probably
give it some more protein I'm growing a
human it's fine I can go back to not
eating meat on the on the other end yeah
so all right going back to five days ago
in the book not in my real life Waverly
is um with Dante and she got
recruited when she was in college she or
graduating from college um she was
recruited by Dante to a covert
government op yep sure mhm that only
aist
celebrities um were recruited to because
aist celebrities have access to places
that other people don't I literally am
over here like looking at you Bradley
Cooper
like like that's literally I can't okay
no I'm with it cuz why wouldn't she
be recruited into a yeah she for sure M
so you'll hear them refer to um it as
the studio because it is actually the op
the the government operation that they
work with is tied to a studio production
called Target Productions so they
actually do release movies but they like
kind of use it as a front yes that is
their
front um this is kind of like Alias
though it really is recruited in College
working for a front but technically it's
real like they didn't kill your fiance
but you almost got killed right right
and that feels like enough of a trauma
history it does to qualify
you we allow
it so the uh the studio if you will has
tasked Waverly with befriending Petra
the Russian ays um Waverly doesn't
really know much more more about her op
it's also funny because at Parts they're
like yeah she's just like collecting
Intel cuz that's easier for her to get
than other people right but then there
are Parts where she's like I'm
professionally trained to fight now
you're like this feels diff not just
like Intel Gathering right at least that
was my thought I'm not a spy um so maybe
it's not that Nuance maybe it's
proactive maybe it's a proactive thing
you know right in just in case she gets
caught while Gathering her
Intel fair enough way to give the book
more credit than you did two years ago
I'm really trying you've grown I'm being
intentional we love personal growth
goals right um so while Waverly has been
tasked of like befriending Petra both
her and Dante are like does this like op
feel a little fishy and like something's
not quite right and like this doesn't
feel like it's like
the normal like assignments that we've
we've taken on before and they're having
this conversation as they're driving out
to Petra's dad's like lake house at Lake
Tahoe where they're going to spend the
weekend and like hang out with her
question yeah so are Dante and
Waverly in like a fake relationship
they're spending all this time together
or just Partners like is there any
backstory there so that is a very great
question in the news they are very
tumultuous on again off again um but in
the news like they are together and just
have a very volatile relationship like
one of the things that Xavier points out
later is he's like yeah every time they
break break up he like [ __ ] someone
else like a day later and he's like so
how upset is this man actually about her
so like when you actually look at the
the details of it but I don't know maybe
they're like that's just how AA
celebrities date he's a dog like
okay maybe raise the bar a little bit
like not a lot but you know doesn't have
to be
underground it and yet somehow they're
still tripping on it
underground talent that is Talent so
okay they are at Petra's dad's house um
and after dinner uh Waverly and Petra
are like waverly's like hey let's go
like take a walk on the waterfront
around the lakefront like bring your
security guy with us just like make sure
we're we're good and Dante's like you
know I actually need to call the studio
really fast um I'll come and join y'all
in a little bit so as they are starting
their walk they hear gunfire start up at
the house and W really just goes like
full Spy Girl like full super spy full
Kim Possible Oh love that for her like
it one of the security guys gets shot
she's helping him escape with Petra in a
rowboat on the like not a row booat that
would not be AAL way to
rbo in a boat with an engine sure sure
and then like she runs back up to the
house to find Dante but when she gets up
there like she sees that like Dante is
not there and the office that he had
been planning on breaking into is open
and so then she hears more people like
breaching the house so she takes off out
the back and then calls Kate and is like
I need you to get an extraction um I
think I've been shot and so that's like
the full flashback flashback okay that
we have um do you have any questions
about her covert spy life now that we we
have the full flashback not at present
although every time you say Petra so I
can't remember if I told you this or
not recently when we adopted our new dog
Sophie her name was cleop
Petra
not not Cleopatra because she's a pet
yeah
cleopetra but Matt and I have a niece
named Cleo and so we decided that we
should change her name I briefly
considered calling her
Petra that would have been a dope name
that would have been super super cool
and I'm brand for y'all
yeah I I initially floated the idea of
Helen because Sophie is blind Matt told
me that's real [ __ ] up and said no and
he said he said her name should be
Sophie and so she is sof eyed
Sophie sorry I just such a [ __ ] up
joke but
like also why we're
friends Matt was like babe that is
[ __ ] up I was like but it's
funny if it was a boy you could have
gone Keller I
know you get it but okay I had a cat
growing up named Cleo
Catra oh my God full circle that was we
called her Cleo yeah and I may have told
you this before she was such a fat cat
and would sit by her food bowl and cry
to the point that we were all like oh
she needs to be fed no one's fed her
breakfast that [ __ ] was getting four
breakfast today she' just sit by the
bowl just a little hobbit yes she and
we're like she's crying so much
emphatically clearly she's starving no
she was playing all of us my mom I was
probably in like Middle School um like
my mom made a like little M laminated
magnet for the fridge that said like cat
has been fed morning and cat has been
fed evening and we would flip it so as
soon as you saw that it was flipped
you're like no you need to go back to
being a reasonable size she was running
game yes successfully um this is also
the cat that
when we had posted an ad in the
newspaper back at as you did to uh
rehome a pet and um the first person who
came to look at Cleo yes oh yes I do
remember this part yeah um showed up 20
minutes early and when I opened the door
the first words out of her mouth were
I'm he about your
puss and your mom wasn't home yet no my
yeah my mom was not home I was literally
at home alone I call my mom was like get
the [ __ ] here right now
like yeah like I'm like no I don't care
how much we don't like this cat anymore
or at like the cat had been rehomed with
us like I think we were doing someone
else a favor at one point I don't know
there was a whole thing not necessarily
meant to be a permanent rehoming and
just a big mess yeah cleocatra and
cleopetra yeah more of our overlapping
lives just casual so Waverly
we're post we're back in B and Waverly
is laying um just like by the pool with
her eyes closed recovering from her
gunshot wound and is uh just thinking
back on the last few days and then feels
a shadow over her and when she opens her
eyes is it Xavier what how did you know
and and he's just like nice rehab Angel
and you're like oh [ __ ] he showed up for
the record I haven't read this book in
two
years so I am guessing I really don't
remember I was like I've been right
twice now shut the [ __ ]
up I mean maybe in the recesses I
remember something I mean this very
respectfully and it's nothing about your
abilities as a human I wouldn't say
they've been hard
guesses like I wouldn't say anything
happen has happened thus far that you're
like wow how did I hard
left what a plot
twist that's fair that's very fair yeah
and maybe you'll have some guesses like
that as it go so not [ __ ] on your
guessing I appreciate that I love that
you're like wow giving myself some
credit I haven't read this in two years
and I guessed it was Xavier standing
over
her oh so we find out Xavier has been
hired um by waverly's dad as security
and waverly's like I'm a grown ass woman
I did not hire you get the [ __ ] out of
my house I am not here for this you get
off my property yes um and Xavier's like
listen
I know there's no DUI MH I'm going to
figure out what you've been up to and
I'm not leaving until I figure that out
because clearly something's
up and I care about you so much I will
blackmail you into letting me stay by
threatening to tell new sources that
there wasn't a DUI and putting you on
everyone's
radar which feels healthy yeah you
know that's what you you love in a
relationship I haven't spoken to you in
five years let me declare My Love by
threatening to burn you in a way that
will destroy your
life okay I feel the love I can tell
something's wrong and even though I
haven't talked you in 5 years I am going
to fix it and if you tell me I can't fix
it I'll go to the news and you're
like what yeah we could have taken a
different
approach that is the thing that I think
really annoyed me about him it's just
like I understand he knows he [ __ ] up
we're obviously working on like
reconciliation throughout this book mhm
but I'm also like you're showing up with
a lot of entitlement and privilege with
like how you left this my guyh it's the
entitlement for me like yes you haven't
talked to her in Five Years bro like you
don't like and like and I'm not going to
lie I am good with like a slightly
possessive Alpha
lead uh when they're two possessive like
that isn't fun or cute or like a thing
anymore and I feel like there are yeah
where I'm like bro you haven't been
around in 5 years mhm you do not have
the right to do this and not just you
haven't been around you like ripped her
heart out and stomped on it and all over
her character on your way out the door
like yes well and so like he's telling
her in this conversation like I've never
stopped having feelings for you kind of
deal he manages to like get close enough
and like sit on her like seat with her
and he managed to like kiss her and she
starts to lose herself in the kiss for a
moment and then his hands go like on her
sides and he accidentally like over her
shirt like grazes her like gun her
gunshot wound and so she kind of like
gasps and backs up and it kind of like
it's like
a cold water shocked the
system did we talk about the fact that
my husband has started with the [ __ ]
ice baths every day and I listen why
they're great for inflammation there are
a lot of great reasons that people do
them Hannah earlier this week with the
weather we've been having he sent me a
video where he had to get a hammer from
our garage to break the ice on his ice
bath cuz it was that cold he's said when
are you going to do it with me I'm like
I
don't I don't I don't know if I'm an ice
bath
girly the face you're giving me as you
my whole drive here I was thinking about
how excited I am because I do selfcare
Sunday where I do an Epsom salt bath and
like multiple face masks are involved
and like it's a whole situation I have a
whole routine and my whole drive here I
was
like tomorrow is self-care Sunday and
you know what that means I'm like I got
some pink
Himalayan salt stuff for my Alum was
like that's going to be good [ __ ]
tomorrow like that's awesome and just
the idea of instead of sinking into a
very hot epom salt bath like sinking
into ice intentionally is feeling very
jarring for me when I did my yoga
teacher training literally a decade ago
at this point there was a girl in it
who she was the kindest girl but she was
one of those girls that was like a raw
vegan and like yeah yeah you knew within
three minutes of meeting her she was a
raw vegan at one point one of the dudes
running the teacher training looked at
her and he goes do you live on a commune
and she goes not
yet and I was just sitting there
watching it's so
pure it was incredible but she convinced
and like we were doing a lot of like our
teacher training was Hot Yoga as well
and so she was she convinced all of us
by the end of this training that we
should all be taking cold showers yeah
and she wasn't like there like there are
benefits there are so many benefits but
I'm like when you go from 100 plus
degree room to like to even lukewarm yes
yeah like I'm like I'll I'll get there
but it's going to be a journey like I
cannot do this overnight okay but
anyways back into the book yes back into
the book um he Xavier has his hands on
her sides and she like gas when he like
kind of feels the the wound and he like
gets really gentle he's like oh my gosh
did I hurt you and she's like you'll
never hurt me
again I just wanted to see your face the
dramatic
drama you're doing it on purpose I
really am um yeah so yesterday I was on
a link with a coworker who listens to
the
podcast and I had I said the word woof
about something not work related and she
be she's listening to the podcast and
now she goes what was the what was that
word Chelsea what are we talking about I
was like you
[ __ ]
and then we had a had a great laugh
about it um then Kate and Marisol will
get back to the house so it kind of
ruins the moment anyway but they're also
like the [ __ ] is aier doing here cuz
they just gone into town to get supplies
you
know um Kate is then in waverly's room
with her and is like are you okay like
just checking in and waverly's like you
think I'm okay I got shot Dante is
missing the studio has just told me I
need to stay in B until they tell me
otherwise and Xavier is here would you
be okay I am not having a good time yeah
yeah like 10 out of 10 would not
recommend all of the current things on
my plate Kate then is in the kitchen
with
Xavier and uh we get Xavier's
perspective and he's like okay we made
it through the initial reintroduction
with less Bloodshed than anticipated we
can only go up from here going to really
earn my way back and so then when Kate
comes into the kitchen she's very
defensive of her friend right just like
starts laying into Xavier and he's like
and like do you know how much you
destroyed her like she like didn't get
out of bed and marisel is like like to
the point that Kate is laying in to
Xavier to the point that Marisol goes
hey Kate do you think Waverly would like
being painted is so weak and like yeah
like yeah let's maybe not like I get the
point you're trying to make but let's
not paint Waverly in a poor because
you're trying to make right let not her
into all like all her [ __ ] yeah yeah and
I'm like if if part of that was slightly
hyperbolic to make him feel bad you
know um Xavier then tells Waverly and
not Waverly he tells Marisol and Kate
that he's like listen I am staying I am
going to fight for her I'm not going
anywhere like I understand all of you
have the right to be upset and like
about how everything played out five
years ago he's like but I'll I'll earn
my way back and I know she's in trouble
and like I we need to figure this out
and Marisol like gives them like a a
slight hint You Can Tell She's Like a
fan of Xavier but like she brings up
Dante and it's kind of like yeah like
wonder where Dante is except a little
less obvious yeah wink wink put you're
like you a real one Mario right thanks
girl um Waverly ends up staying in her
room during dinner cuz she's like not
doing this [ __ ] I do not want to have
these conversations we're not going to
have family dinner now that he's just
shown up and decided after 5 years he's
ready to be back in my life now well she
probably wishes she was at the dinner
because Xavier was telling Kate and Mari
that he's going to marry her and then
showed them the ring he bought the day
before he flew to bise yeah like the
confidence dare I say
hubris of of someone big I know I
haven't talk to you in 5 years I'm a buy
a ring I'm like did that jewelry store
also sell audacity the [ __ ] like are you
kidding me
like
what what bold move my guy like what an
opener yeah so I know I haven't spoken
to you in 5 years and on my way out I
told you what a shitty person you are
but now that I've had some some time
five years to think about it you you did
you want to get married I know you're
also probably dating someone else from
the research that I've done but
like you
down what but if you remember I dick you
down better than anyone else ever had
lest you forget lest you forget how good
I dick you down I went ahead and bought
a ring 5 years too
[Laughter]
late Xavier and going into waverly's
room to bring her some dessert and and
he's like he's very is it his dick
sorry not
yet give it some time I was more going
to point out that like he can clearly
tell something is up because he's
looking at her and he's like she's
moving around like she's like he's like
she's frail she's sleeping a lot he's
like for someone who's been at on the
beach and bise for the last 5 days you
would think that she would be feeling
more energized but she looks not doing
too great right now
right the next morning uh he decides
to make her breakfast and just like try
and up the sex appeal so he's like I'm
going to go shirtless with some like
gray sweatpants sort of I'm like you
can't I hope the bacon grease splatters
your man boobs that's what I hope for
you like
cooking shirtless is unwise anyway it's
not
safe I
mean at some level you're probably not
wrong um and not that women can't do all
the same things men can do but I do
think cooking shirtless as a woman it is
it does it is a little different feels
far more
dangerous than being like a buff to
no not the boobies yeah you don't want
to lean over to check the heat on that
pan No you don't sing a nip right don't
turn too fast
[Laughter]
regardless Jesus Christ as they are so
Waverly goes down into the kitchen and
joins him for breakfast and they end up
kind of catching up about the last five
years and she like she asks um because
he had been very publicly dating I think
her name was like kala I don't know c a
l l a
Kala I would guess kala right that was
thought Double L feels like kala that's
what kala
kala kala feels truer I don't know
really just making it all up at this
point right um but she like Waverly ass
she's like well there had been
speculation were y'all ever engaged and
he was like I he's like no we weren't
like it was a serious relationship but
it wasn't you sort of deal um and she
wasn't you though yes but like that's
his energy this whole book and
like that also though is a pet peeve for
me in pet peeve for me in a lot of these
books where it's like so disrespectful
to all other women like yeah I [ __ ]
her a lot but like she wasn't you babe
so I will say kala Kayla whatever will
actually show up later in the book for
like a brief where you're like was this
plot Point even needed kind of energy
yeah
but I like I kind of liked her oh okay
um in the F so yeah I I think like the
way they talk about the relationship was
one where like it was a really solid
relationship and he could just never
fully commit and get there more than it
was like meant to be like the she just
wasn't you but that's how it gets
communicated when he's talking to
Waverly so you're like well this just
all feels a bit dramatic yeah and at
breakfast he like once again is like I
know something's going on with you and
like I'm going to help you and figure it
out before before you can get hurt and
she's like I already got hurt and I'm
stronger now there's a lot of those like
onliners and I do think that when I was
going through the outline a lot of the
plot in this book I'm like I can keep
outlining this but at some point these
conversations just become a bit super
competitive repetitive I said
competitive I meant repetitive I haven't
even really Dr that much been super
repetitive and you know at some level
Hannah they have been competing touche
sure great Insight thank you I'm really
doing well today on multiple
fronts um Xavier is continuing to do
research realizes that Dante has been
missing since the same day waverly's
rehab announcement went out so he's like
the [ __ ] is going on with Dante like he
is like legit missing but as he's doing
um This research Kate comes down and
grabs Waverly and is like hey let's get
you upstairs um how did she say it I I
think I wrote it down said something
like oh let's go upstairs and do your
dress fitting in case we're back for
that Premiere or that event or whatever
and Xavier's automatically like you
don't know when you're going back like
why why don't you know when you're going
back to LA is someone telling you you
can't go back to LA like what's
happening and they just kind of like s
side step it and they're like oh haaha
and just like go up to Waverly we have
we have to go yes and just don't answer
right and then as Xavier is continuing
to sit there and work while they were
doing the dress fitting he's like
hearing them talk but they don't realize
that he can hear them and so Kate's like
next time you get shot can you do it in
a place that's easier to hide and wer
waverly's like yeah I'll do my best huh
ha they have real like don't be
suspicious energy like don't be
suspicious zavier is just like charging
up the stairs at this point he's like
the [ __ ] you got shot like bargees in
demands to see the wound and is like
very emotional but then also I can't
remember if he says it to her or just
under his breath but like says something
like you were supposed to be safer
without me like that is part of why I
like left you is because I like he
didn't feel like had kept her safe mhm
and so that was part of the guilt and
why he left initially right I don't
whatever your face holds doubt we'll ju
we'll just move we'll just move yeah he
Reb bandages her wounds and then I put
she begrudgingly spoons with him okay I
think he just needed the the closeness
the closeness after seeing she was shot
yeah um but then the next day Mari
leaves and they all go out for dinner
DIN and they go to like this restaurant
where he's like where are the menus and
they're like we're in bise it's not that
sort of restaurant we sit down they will
bring us all the plate of food when it
is ready right you will enjoy the food
you get don't you worry right but they
put a water and a beer in front of each
of them and um Waverly automatically
just like slid her beer over in front of
Xavier and he's like I [ __ ] knew
those news stories were fabricated like
she she clearly still does not yes has a
Vindicated yeah
moment they end up going for a walk on
the beach and like they like it's more
of like a okay I'll tell you what's
going on if you tell me so like Waverly
gives him the details without ever
mentioning being a covert I was about to
say assassin she's not killing
people that we know of right that's the
third
book I don't think I won't read it you
will not you I won't read it there are a
couple series that you've hated so much
I'm like I'll read the next one and I'll
just let you know yeah please do but
then there have been a few other series
that I've been like got to let Hannah
learn this lesson for herself and vice
versa yep yep we do that for each other
there are some that like I'm going to
save you this pain in others I'm like
I'm going to cause you well it's like oh
my God this smells so bad sniff it like
sometimes that's the energy when we're
reading these
books you got to try this
you won't believe so they she I guess
essentially if you are leaving out the
covert spy aspect of it m you and your
boyfriend were at your friend's place
and your boyfriend and like you got shot
in a home invasion and your boyfriend is
missing it's kind of like for Z Year's
purposes what the what the story
is but then he's also sitting there and
he's like I still feel like details are
missing mhm um
but is also finding himself in a little
bit of a catch 22 because he's like I
love Waverly I want to win her back
finding Dante will make her happy and
get me points but also finding Dante
means returning her boyfriend to her so
yeah what do I want to do Rock and Hard
Place yeah you find the missing [ __ ]
human for the record right it's if
there's a question of uh not quality of
life but just like Proof of Life yeah
you find the human yes yes mhm MH MH
just
saying duke it out on the back end my
guy but being like you know if I find
him she might go back to him I'mma let
him die it's like also
not that's how we want to start this
relationship with when you're all like
I'mma fix it by letting your lover die
like Okie joke but it does clear the way
right you get it I do Waverly is now
like [ __ ] this [ __ ] I've been sitting in
bise no one's telling me anything the
studio is not communicating with me I
don't care if I piss them off I'm
returning to LA and I'm going to do it
loudly so they know that like I'm doing
what I want right um so Waverly and Kate
and Xavier all land at like the private
airtrip and like there's like
photographers it's like
there are lots of photos taken that are
then also have like Xavier and Waverly
right and they were very photographed
before when he was her body body guard
the first time five years ago because
there had been speculations about a
relationship then and there was also the
footage of him like crying and saying I
love you as he thought she was dying in
his
arms which he then dumped her after but
don't worry he he bought a ring before
he showed up and B so it's all
okay
the look of
frustration on your face yeah when they
land Xavier tells the driver and he's
like uh he's like oh go home and like
however he said it like waverly's like
we're not going to my parents house like
no your house and she's like why do you
know the address to my house like and he
got himself on like the gate access list
so like when they get to the house he's
like or get to the neighborhood and
she's like the [ __ ] is happening you
have not been here five years but and he
keeps being like we're I'm going to get
through going to help you get through
all of this then we're going to [ __ ]
go to
Barbados bro it's been like three days
yeah and we just left bise like I don't
I don't need to then go to Barbados I've
never been to Barbados me either I have
been to bise yeah that's where we went
on our honeymoon I'm not saying Biz and
Barbados are exactly the same I am
saying they are like beach type
destinations like both both tropical
climates yeah yeah yeah yes so maybe
take me somewhere a little different you
know I'm not giving this man an inch no
that's like I love when someone just
annoys you and you're like really I just
went on a beach vacation try harder [ __ ]
Barbados yeah just question that is that
is who I am is that what you're like
with Matt as well or is that just when
you're Rie no it's just books It's Just
Books yeah you're like it's absolutely
Just
Books yeah so Xavier then says something
to the effect of like I don't know just
as I said there are a lot of plot points
that kind of become competitive and
redundant and repetitive and
redundant so yeah it's another like hey
I love you I'm like I know we're like
we're back in La now like I love you I'm
not going anywhere uh this will be
easier for both of us the sooner you
figure out that I'm not going
anywhere what no sir that is not how it
works but apparently it works for her
because like all of this sexual tension
it's like building between them and they
start going at
it um and then he also realizes around
her neck the necklace she was wearing I
honestly don't remember if I mentioned
this in the last review um but he bought
her a good luck charm oh um so some more
context not that it like super matters
but if you remember from the first book
when he'd been watching footage of uh
her being a small child and like getting
trampled by Paparazzi yes and like the
shop owner had rescued her and he' given
her like a coin or something that become
her lucky charm and I can't remember if
she lost it or he just wanted to update
it or something but like he bought her a
replacement or another one when they had
been in Greece I think maybe it wasn't
from Greece it doesn't [ __ ] matter it
does
but she's still wearing it yes uh and he
recognizes it for what it is and he's
like I bought her that and she's still
wearing it five years
later I bought her a ring five years
later too maybe she'll wear that
soon uh she then gets a phone call and
it's from the studio but she's just like
oh it's a wrong number really it's
setting up a clandestine meeting for the
next morning sure sure yes and so she's
like I'm going to go to my bedroom and
cool off now that like this phone call
has kind of interrupted the sexual
tension starting to like go at it sort
of moment that they were having but when
she comes out of her shower he's on her
bed and she's like the [ __ ] and it's
actually like a sweet like he changes
her like w like dressing wounds again
wound dressings dressing wounds wound
dressings wound dressings yes there we
go I knew it was wrong the first time we
found
it with our powers combined we have had
to and I think that's what leaves me
concerned um but also while Waverly was
in the
shower Xavier started like snooping and
going through her closet and notices
like there's no men's clothing like for
being in like a long-term committed
relationship with Dante right there's no
personal effects of Dante anywhere in
her house and so he is uh happy about
that but he also notices he's like this
is an Invictus security system the [ __ ]
he's like I didn't put this in uh and
yeah Waverly like ends up telling him
that Micah installed it and he's like I
can't believe Micah didn't tell me and
at like one point Micah's
like yeah uh you mean this aess
celebrity gave us a second chance after
she could have destroyed us publicly yep
yeah I'm going to give her a security
system and not tell you right she
specifically said don't tell Dante thous
or Xavier or whoever the [ __ ] no I keep
I've almost F him Dante like five times
so I'm glad I'm not the first one to do
it because I've done it in my head
several times well in all of these books
they are named Dante or Xavier or
[ __ ] whatever Black Stone black St
like black stone and black stone these
are the the last name options you can
have them separate you can have them
together take your
pick uhuh uhuh gray I'm reading one with
a gray right now a lot of gray yeah I'm
reading one with a gray right now it's
so hard to keep all of these books
straight well because I'm reading one
right now and one of the guys is Dante
it's a reverse harm so there's Dante
Logan and madic and so I just what book
are you reading uh pretty vengeful Queen
it's the third one the first one I think
is
um pretty dark vows I
think yes okay I haven't read it I need
to add it to my list though or should I
not add it to should I add it to my list
should I not add well I've been planning
on adding it to my list but your face is
saying maybe I shouldn't well so I think
last time we recorded we were talking
about the nickname situation and how
it's like you know the first and you can
tell the energy of the series from like
the the first time nickname is us the
first like cutesy nickname and you were
like yeah but like princess and the one
I'm reading like she's actually a
princess and I was like nope she's
definitely a stripper like so it turns
out by the third one maybe I'm
wrong and I was like huh I see I see I
was like okay that's took a turn was
Tate James involved with that no not in
this one not as far as I'm aware you
know ghost riter I should double check
laws
anyway Waverly gets a phone call yeah uh
from her it hacker person sure sure um
who is Chelsea from the first book who
is zavier Sister yeah he has two sisters
and uh one of his sisters is waverly's
hacker uh but when like Chelsea calls
her to check in she's like so I saw the
photos of you and my brother on the
Airship are you getting back together
like that love this yeah and waverly's
like no he's helping me find Dante like
I'm not I'm not doing this [ __ ] and I
got to say so I think the tension for me
with this one is I do love a good gravel
Trope yeah at some level right um but
this one
like never really felt like graveling I
was going to say he's not graveling he's
just like I'm back babe you ready yes
mhm and like let's just like
ignore all of this other [ __ ] you're
like this
feels not great yeah and we really feels
so too because the next morning um she
leaves Xavier a note that's like gone
out to grab us breakfast when really
she's leaving Before Dawn for her like
clandestine meeting with
Brad the head of uh Target Productions
the CEO of Target Productions the studio
yes and so when she goes to meet with
him like she's trying to get some
information as well so like he's pissies
back from Biz um but like he also
clearly doesn't seem to know where Dante
is is either and she's like what the
where the [ __ ] is Dante at this point
like something has gone seriously wrong
like right because there was no body
yeah there was no body he was missing by
the time I like got to the house like
what is
up um Brad leaves and as he leaves
surprise of all surprises does Xavier
show
up three for three on your guesses oh my
God feel like I should win something on
your a very
difficult higher order
thinking
G I am very good at critical thinking it
said so on my report card once so did it
really I don't remember but it sounded
right when I said it I was going to say
that's a great report card feedback to
get I don't
know it sounded right you know I feel
like I have really great critical
thinking in very specific categories and
then there are other categories that
like like I'm like I don't I don't know
enough about the situation to know how
to think about it critically yeah we're
just flying by the seat of our pants
we're just hoping for the best so
Xavier's like who the [ __ ] were you
meeting with she's like what are you
doing here he's like I put a tracker on
your motorcycle who are you meeting with
she's like you can't just put trackers
on my [ __ ] man he's like can already did
right and he's like you may as well just
tell me cuz I already took his plates
down and I'll run them so just tell me
and like it's like kind of
like like continuing like I feel like
he's just like perpetually kind of
trying to blackmail her and yeah telling
her what he wants to know
and telling him right what he wants yeah
there we I got it I haven't had that
much to drink but I am about to drink a
little bit more so we'll see how this
goes yeah I mean I'm tracking mhm but it
is very much like you are not trying to
make up for anything here you are just
bll in a china shop trying to
like he's like she's in trouble let me
fix it for her pick up where I left off
and
not yeah like with no I think that is
like the biggest frustrating thing is
like with no real regard yeah for her or
what she wants yes and so she does tell
him she's like Brad is the CEO of Target
Productions I was like trying to see if
he knew about Dante's location and
Xavier once again is like I can tell
she's holding back I'm like okay but
knowing she's holding back the way to
get her to tell you what you want to
know is not to threaten to go public
with her Secrets right that's
called
shitty it is and not great in a
long-term sustainable relationship no he
insists on driving her back to her place
and it's like you aren't going back on
your motorcycle whatever and
he like pulls into a parking lot she's
like where are we going he's like I
thought you said you wanted to get
breakfast so they stopped for
breakfast and he's like well my reasons
for coming here or wanting to do
breakfast are are twofold um
one there's a lot of people in this
restaurant who have taken photos of us
that we've now taken photos with fans
like you are very prominent very like MH
difficult to get to is the point he's
trying to make like right she is a big
person the news and just like in society
and like you you can't just like she
can't just disappear or like be shot on
the street like there are consequences
1,00% yeah and then the other reason and
he's like
yeah uh if I were your boyfriend Dante
and I saw photos of my girlfriend being
all like couply and cute with another
guy nothing would get me out of hiding
sooner
okay I'm like this whole like male
competitive yeah I think that I see
where like that got annoying and old and
why that mhm with your frustrations with
where the book started at like the five
years and then what like some of his
behavior choices throughout it yeah I do
understand your frustration Kate ends up
calling Waverly and is like the photos
of y'all out at brunch uh with all of
like your fans they are all over the
news like very prominent photos
definitely got people attention um but
Kate's also like you looked kind of
happy in those photos yeah as an aside
yeah you also looked like genuinely like
you were having a good time yeah like oh
like just want to let you know the
photos did what he wanted them to do and
so you looked you looked pretty content
yeah how you been doing girl um Kate's a
real one yeah she always has been from
letting her sneak out yeah under her
identity
right um
Waverly though is like yeah the agency
is not going to be thrilled with like
those photos and like how prominent I am
making
myself
um Kate asked how the meeting with Brad
went and Waverly says that she has
Chelsea looking into him and looking
into um Petra's dad to trying to be like
okay so like why why did we have this
assignment in place the point and then
Kate's like
you know Xavier is going to be real
unhappy when he finds out that Chelsea's
working with you
right waverly's like yes and yeah like
well what I enjoyed and like this I
can't remember what series it was either
but there was another one where uh it
was a similar situation where the guy
was like I'm leaving you like whatever
and then all of his friends and family
stayed in close contact with her and
just never talked about about it and so
everybody knew how she was and so she
like showed up showed back up for
whatever reason and everybody's like oh
my God I haven't seen you since like two
weeks ago how are you do he's like what
the like that's this energy and I really
like it where it's like yeah everybody
in your life has
been like they get it and you don't yes
they knew what it took you 5 years to
figure out yep so when Micah by the time
they get back to waverly's house not
Micah when Xavier and Waverly get back
to waverly's house Micah is there
because Xavier called him to like get
her motorcycle back to the house um and
so waverly's like let me get some drinks
let's all sit out on the front porch
let's catch up and Micah's like hey
Xavier so glad that you had your
vacation now that you're here I need you
back into the office to work on a few
projects and waverly's like I think
that's such a great idea and you should
definitely go to the office to help with
these projects oh man that sounds really
serious Micah and Xavier was like Micah
didn't you tell me I should take
vacation like I and he's like yeah I
just SP like a long weekend in Aruba
you've been out for like a week it's
time and Xavier sitting there he's like
the [ __ ] is happening and he goes Micah
let me see your phone and M's like can't
man left with in the car so Xavier just
picks up waverly's phone and then
unlocks it and she's like how the [ __ ]
do you have my my phone password
and then sees a text thread between
Waverly and Mah where she's like Mah get
him out of my house I'm not employing
him I'm not paying him he is
squatting in my house come get your
boy oh my God and Micah like a like a
real one shows up and is like okay I'll
help but Xavier then is like okay if
that that's how we're going to play it
Waverly take your shirt off and
waverly's like what and he's like fine
lift your arms I'll take your shirt off
and then he's like hey Micah see that
gunshot wound that she has there was a
home invasion like I'm not just going to
clear out and so then Michel's like well
looks like we're putting some invict
security resources behind this also
sorry about your Lu girl I did what I
could
right yeah he's like I would literally
have to chloroform him at this point his
ass is heavy I I can't right and he's
like I did try and get him out until I
find found out that someone who pays us
for security has been shot again well
the first time she wasab she was stabbed
injured seriously
[Music]
injured after this uh Xavier and Waverly
end up going to dinner at uh her parents
house because they do have a far
healthier relationship now but it's
funny cuz when when uh Sylvia and Robert
open the door and they see Waverly
standing there and with Xavier they go
Oh I thought you'd be bringing
Dante and W's like [ __ ] yeah way to look
out and Xavier's like appreciate y'all
that one stung a little bit but then
when like Robert and Xavier see each
other they have this like big like man
moment yeah man moment like the oneand
clap hug situ and waverly's like the
[ __ ] and Xavier's like oh yeah whenever
I'm in town your dad and I grab a
golf damn it and she's like what the you
you've been playing around of and he's
like I mean he did save your life
like yeah I I like him I like the kid
like am I going to be pissed as your dad
that this man saved your life okay you
didn't last I'll still play around a gol
right um but there was also kind of I
felt like it was a a sweet moment at
least in in my processing of it because
Sylvia her mom uh is really nervous
because of the news about the DUI and
going to rehab and she's like rehab is a
really serious thing like like we want
to support you like as someone who's
gone through it herself and so waverly's
also trying to like not worry her mom um
and she's like no it wasn't like rehab
rehab it was like stress life coaching
sort of re she's like I was on a beach
learning how to meditate I wasn't like
and just trying to like spin it more
that way um which I do appreciate
because like having that be the cover
story when substance abuse is like a
very rampant issue in your
family like you know I was like you know
I hadn't really considered how her mom
would have like process that yes I'm
like that's a big
thing um but like Xavier is just like
yeah we're we're like I'm I'm here I'm
staying we're doing this and waverly's
like we're not together and Xavier's
like grabbing her her hand on the couch
and she's like trying to pull it back
him she like still no yes but he's
declaring his intentions to her and her
parents at this point and it's like no I
plan on marrying her as soon as she
gives me a second
chance the audacity was on sale at that
[ __ ] jewelry store like I
cannot the audacity must have been on
sale that day like for real though
that's my new go-to insult
I can't wait to use it at work I'm so
excited about this well I'm being for
real though because like it's one thing
to be doing that to Waverly it's a
completely different thing to be doing
that to her parents well and but he also
already did that to like her best friend
and like the house manager that like she
grew up with right so like I mean but
Waverly didn't know that right was also
true doing that in front of Waverly with
her parents right yeah he's just out
here telling anyone who will listen
right [ __ ] the last five years I got
this yeah you're like do you bro yeah do
you got this and so when they go back to
waverly's house that night Xavier now
knows her alarm code and has a key and
she's like how are you doing this this
is not cool my guy um boundaries right
but like the conversation kind of
escalates and uh like Xavier's asking
things like do you feel for Dante what
you feel for me and just like as it's
like becoming more and more emotionally
escalated like waverly's like you said I
was too damaged and like it like doesn't
fully like permeate or like yeah he like
doesn't yes he like doesn't fully it
doesn't click initially and then she's
like you said I was too damaged and made
all of my deepest fears about myself
come to life that I was too damaged to
be loved right after I told you what
they were
you use them against me and like he has
that moment where like it finally clicks
like how he's like kind of shown up and
like forc his way in but like being like
Oh like this is where all of this
resistance like why isn't she just like
so happy to see me yes and like it
finally clicking that she's like because
you literally told me no one would love
me because I was too damaged right like
right that is why this this will not
happen um and then you have like a true
apology from him and kind of like be
like I understand now yes um but
then within this
conversation uh they talk about how many
like it comes up like how many partners
like how many people have you slept with
in the last 5 years and he goes I've
only been with two women same as you uh
or like two partners same as you and she
goes the [ __ ] you mean same as
me have youve been keeping tabs on these
people and she's like is that why Trent
like switched School mid
semester and he's like he was still
seeing his girlfriend on the side I had
to protect you she's like I knew he was
still seeing his [ __ ] high school
girlfriend on the side and I handled it
you did not need to threaten this poor
college kid and he's like he's like no I
just like had some people have a
conversation with him it was fine and
she's like oh my God you are unhinged
boundaries he has none boundaries but in
the Name of Love he apparent
like like no that does not change that
this is not great but apparently it does
for her because they end up having a
pretty passionate kiss make out on the
couch um they end up meeting with
gwindel who was the publicist I think
from the first book right and Aisha uh
waverly's
agent and waverly's asking for
assistance with kind of spinning the
whole
DUI rehab situation to something they're
like wait you want us to spend that you
went to rehab for a DUI but you came out
on top in this situ like how are we
right what's what's the end game here
exactly um but part of it with all of
the photos that have been coming up of
Waverly and Xavier they're like okay
we're going to use this angle and see
what what we can make happen so they end
up scheduling her on a late night show
right um like a Conan sort of situation
in my heart it was more Fallon but I can
take Conan
no when I was reading and like going
back through my outline I actually
thought of I was like which late night
person would it be and I was like I am
personally
partial to Seth Meers yes or like does
Fallon still do the like I feel like
there was that era of late night shows
where like yeah all of All Guest
hosts well I was going before all of the
guest hosts back when like the game like
all of the like the
I don't know jeop like not yeah yeah
password Puppy Poker I don't know like
the random like here's this like
singing lipy syncing game right yes yes
yes is that still the era of like I have
no idea I've been I've been a bit
removed for a while but yeah so like I
kind of I kind of pictured it as like
Fallon that they that she went to do the
late night recording but on the drive
there uh avor is like oh yeah I still
remember the outfit you wore the last
time you were on his show um because it
was the dress he asked her not to wear
from the first book when he was like
please for the love of God and me being
able to stay professional this evening
can you put on something less revealing
please don't yeah so apparently she
shortened that and wore it on the
show um and then while she's out and
like doing the interview they end up
like surprising her and calling Xavier
out of the Green Room so he comes on for
more of the interview and then they end
up like showing like a some clips from
the like Abduction kidnapping when ganam
got her like five years ago that's
[ __ ] up yeah that feels very like
toxic Ellen degenerous [ __ ] right there
you know what I'm talking about I do
know what you're
talking but that's what that feels like
like no we're not going to make people
relive their trauma on [ __ ] late
night TV that's messed up dude well and
like it really Maks like what's the
current status of your relationship kind
of yeah energy um but like I'm like man
what an
intimate just like I don't know society
as a whole like that's what we want it's
like salacious content right but like
the intimacy that comes with that that
you're like this is like someone's
actual life that we are talking about
here right like we're watching a girl
very nearly die in a man who cares for
her yes watching his heartbreak and then
we're going to play it for them to watch
together and then ask if they're boning
now like
okay ew yeah
yeah unintentionally a very fascinating
commentary yeah
um what no one else was thinking while
they read this we can do that on a
different podcast right so after the
episode um is recorded waverly's on the
phone with Chelsea who called her with
an update um because we find out that
the time that Waverly got the assignment
to befriend Petra uh aligns with when
Petra's dad was asked to sell some of
his pharmaceutical
licenses um and he refused to sell them
H yeah so like that's that's the detail
that we have there so you're like
there's something there like the
timelines are overlapping but we don't
really know more right but then Kate
texts Waverly that Petra is at a club
yeah she's resurfaced Petra yeah so
Waverly is like buckle up Xavier we're
going clubbing and he's like I won't
leave your side this time and she's like
it's a bit too soon to make that
[Laughter]
joke you know considering the last time
you I got ruied and you beat up a
bartender and then I got stabbed and
almost died IED
yeah rub salt in the wound there but you
know the likelihood of that happening
twice surely not the odds are very low
never zero never zero never zero but
very low yeah
um Xavier is agreeable and is like yeah
let's go to the club uh there is
actually kind of like a sweet set like
moment where Waverly is like hey like
thanks for being like a really good
sport about all of this and like going
on The Late Night show and like going
like all of these things and Xavier's
like it comes with the territory and I
want the territory so like which I'm
like that's a sweet yeah kind of we'll
give him that yeah um but then I was
laughing because Waverly then changes
into all of her club wear that has like
secret places for her guns and her
knives and like all of her weapons
straight up okay I know I've told you
before my senior year of high school I
worked as a personal assistant to the
woman on the home shopping atwork yeah
yeah yeah no idea what that woman is up
to now in her life but for a good while
she had a very successful business
called can can concealment where she
made like women's booer and
lingerie for gun
concealment it's very
Niche but you know when you find the
right market for it yeah you'll be
unstoppable cuz that's why I was making
that face like what kind of club wear
are you wearing that you can conceal a
gun easily like knives I knives I feel
like would be easier if your skirt like
if it's not like tight if it's like it
has some flare to it right I don't know
like a thigh strap sure sure sure is her
dress long enough for I don't know well
it is funny because at one point as they
are walking into the club and like he
has his hands on her waist and he's like
what's under your jacket and she's like
my wallet
[Laughter]
don't worry about it so and as they get
to the club they're they get into the
VIP section and Petra's there and
waverly's like I need to cause a
distraction so I can like get to her so
she's like I know what I'll do she takes
a photo of Xavier and posts it on like a
celeb spotting app and so like within 30
seconds the DJ is like we got a
celebrity in the house and people are
all like ambushing Xavier and she's like
God speed and goes after
Petra um you said you wanted the
territory right this is the territory my
guy Waverly gets to Petra and then Petra
like sees her and it's like oh [ __ ] and
kind of like runs and takes off and
she's like the [ __ ] so she follows her
and they end up in an alley and Petra's
like I'm so like and I'm so sorry but
waer like what are you like what I just
need the detail what happened yeah and
right as she's like Petra's about to
fill her in and she's about to figure
out the details this like car of random
Bros approaches and this like young kid
gets out and he's like hey sorry it's
like it's my first time doing this um
and they're like we're not
prostitutes that poor kid will never
solicit
again well especially he won't solicit
because as this conversation is going
two cars of like goons show up to attack
them so waverly's like Petra get in the
car with them and so she like with the
Bros with the Bros and then she's like
you are not going to have sex with her
you are just driving her home sends her
off one of the cars of goons follows
after her Waverly like calls the drive
her driver like her and uh I think it's
like one of the Invictus security
drivers right what was his name Blake
break break do I have break the driver
it was Burke it was not break the
driver little on the
nose break the driver I'm just going to
I'm still he'll be breaking my
heart he will be wow that is just vodka
the bottom of that now you're getting to
the bottom of God damn my iced
coffee yeah doing great um so Waverly
calls break AKA Burke mhm mhm and it's
like I need you to follow after that car
make sure like she's safe but like make
sure that the car following them uh is
not able to continue he's like I'm on it
hangs up starts driving so then as
Waverly is now standing in this alley
and she's like oh like four guys like
okay can I can I take four on one Xavier
shows up and he's like I'll even the
odds like I got you so he like tries to
stand he's like get behind me and she's
like okay this is cute so they start
fighting and then she clearly can like
hold her own and she like who the [ __ ]
are you like what is happening I thought
I was coming to this alley to save you
and you and I are like f yeah like maybe
she's like am I not your future wife
[ __ ] like maybe these are questions you
should have asked before you bought a
ring just
saying well okay so
then waverly's like I need to find Petra
right that is the only
goal Hannah why did she take off running
Petra was in a vehicle in a there were
three vehicles in like a [ __ ] car
chase call call break the driver yeah
call hey break where are you at right
give me a location at which to run to
but like she's like I need to find her
at all cost and just runs and so
Xavier's like okay I'll run after you
very reminiscent of when she just jumped
off the boat in grease in the first book
I guess we're going for a jog yeah he's
like okay our CL I guess I'll just chase
you and some point I think they even
kind of say like he's like are you into
me chasing you cuz I think he's kind of
like I'm into me it's a little bit of a
primal Kink moment yes I'm into the
chase I don't know if Waverly realized
she's realizes she is a primal Kink or
just Xavier has a little bit of that
within
him I mean my exact notes say Waverly
takes off running to find Petra with a
question mark Xavier follows in a foot
pursuit follows her through parkour
sequence catches up to her pins her
against the wall finds her weapons they
RW dog it in the alley she screams she's
his well orgasming he chants mine mine
mine like a seagull from
finding like as he's running into her
he's
CH mine mine mine
mine
[Laughter]
like if that happens is that not like an
immediate Dismount like Get Away From Me
Mine Mine Mine nope
nope just really punctuating each thrust
you
know like the [ __ ] not the punctuation
not the punctuation um okay they then go
to like a nearby Invictus safe house
where they keep [ __ ] sure and they
have that like I'm going to [ __ ] you
until there's nobody else right until
you there's only me and then like there
like there is no one else like breathy
in his ear sort of like right right we
we get it um Petra is forgotten good
luck babe but then he also they like
[ __ ] until they fall asleep he wakes her
up at like 1:00 a.m. so they can just
like talk about like so you've been a
secret spy like I'm I'm just like I'm
sorry you couldn't let her sleep until
daylight you you woke her up at 1:00
a.m. just like we need to talk well
again that like that's the whole theme
of his character his needs come before
hers and everybody else's like what he
wants yeah because but but when his
needs are presented as all of my needs
are to take care of her and everything I
do is for her then we give a pass to
like the
possessive
Behavior I don't know she tells him
about about her spy life I literally
wrote after all the rigorous love making
he wakes her up so they can talk she but
he does get the details about like what
actually happened with the
shooting um and then when she goes to
bed he like calls Micah to be like okay
now that I have all of the details we
can actually formulate a real plan now
that I like know what we're working with
so I do understand how for him there
probably is some relief that so far he's
been like I just need you to like tell
me yeah right
right of course by the next morning cuz
she did go back to sleep for him to work
through the night yeah he woke her up
she she told him all of the things she
went back to sleep but the next morning
he's like so you know this means we're
back together
right what that was your tcid agreement
when we banged in the alley and I said
mine mine mine like did you misund
understand remember when you said I'm
yours while
orgasming no takebackspace right we're
in it now son yes the next morning um
after that happens Micah and Kate show
up as well so they are not they are now
all on the same page and they are all
plotting and figuring out how they're
moving forward they they realized that
Target Productions while it had
historically started as like a legit
company and organization like government
agency or working with the government
yeah like Contracting with the
government that Target Productions has
started to take more and more like
unsanctioned off the books like not
quite the same legitimacy very much
Alias sd6 yes sd6 core memories being I
can hear the theme song right now
Michael Bon oh oh I could rewatch Never
Been Kissed
soon cuz he's so good at that he's so
cute that's such a pure that's a great
movie Gary Marshall
did he I think he directed it or the I
think he directed it I could be maybe he
just wrote it I don't know Gary Marshall
who's like siblings with Penny Marshall
from Le and
Shirley always been a big Gary Marshall
fan did you know he directed Princess
Diaries I did not know that but it makes
me love princess diaries that much more
there was actually you know back in the
day when you'd have like a DVD and you'd
have like the special features and
things so I think and I could be
misremembering this Whitney hon and
Julie Andrews well obviously Julie
Andrews was involved with Princess I'm
pretty sure Whitney Houston was a
producer oh because there was a clip
where when they were filming uh it was
Gary Marshall's birthday and Whitney
Houston and Julie Andrew sang him happy
birthday together right and you're like
even if it's like there's no heart like
doesn't need to be anything fancy you
had the two of them seeing you happy
birthday absolute Legends done oh yeah
and that's why Cameo exists now now so
we can all live that high on a far lower
experience that so that way we can have
George Santos sing us happy birthday I
have been strongly considering getting
Shaggy to dope of ICP to do happy
birthday for my husband that's coming up
absolutely you should I'm really
thinking I'm going to do it oh he that's
a solid gift he would be really excited
he would be so into that he would he
would never see it coming he wouldn't
and he this episode probably won't air
until after his birthday so it's a
nonissue corre not that he's gonna
listen listen yeah the only reason my
husband listens is to edit is because he
manages our podcast for us bless pistol
thanks fans um okay so they realize that
the target Productions Ops were maybe
not as on the up and up as they thought
they were so Micah and Xavier are like
okay we're going to have Invictus
security uh go through every single op
you did and confirm the legitimacy of it
or not right um and then when waverly's
like yeah I have an IT person and Xavier
is like uh I'd love to talk to them and
just like extend the Invictus security
resources so like feel free to make that
introduction because I'd love to offer
them like our support and waverly's like
thank you so much I don't think I'm
going to take you up on that offer but
thank you so much cuz I can't tell you
it's your sister right but thank you so
much um and then as this is also
happening Brad from Target Productions
calls her and we don't actually hear the
phone call it's like the chapter end
with like her phone ringing and then the
next chapter starts like he wants you to
do what uh he wants her to kidnap
Petra
okay cuz why wouldn't he of course um
and that like that will prove her
loyalty to Target Productions and kind
of that sort of energy yeah um but
waverly's like okay I had a spa day plan
with my mom I can't cancel
so hey Xavier here's all of the personal
notes that I have taken about all of my
Ops I will give you all of my stuff to
work through but I'm going go to the spa
day with my mom see you on the flip side
um also we really love this for Sylvia
waverly's mom she's become a certified
yoga instructor good for her so within
her like Rehabilitation Journey one of
like she teaches like a yoga class at
the spa like once a week or like once a
month or something like that that's so
great yeah I really love the healthy
glow up that waverly's par
had in this book and that like well it
is obviously not the focus they did the
work right they got a Redemption Arc yes
yes and
I I love to see people win even if
they're fictional well and like the work
is alluded to we don't know about it but
it's obvious they did work it wasn't
just like all's forgiven now and like
yeah I just never T touched a drop of
alcohol again and our relationship
magically like fixed itself
yeah not not how they present it and I
do appreciate that as well like they
present it as like we're 5 years down
the road we have been putting the work
in for the Last 5 Years to change our
circumstances
absolutely um they end up having a
really great like Sylvia and Waverly
have a really great heart tohe heart
about Xavier and uh her
mama's Pro Xavier at some like it's like
yeah like I love you and but like not
not upset if he makes you happy right um
but then also this is the part I'm like
why is this plot Point here Kate calls
her or texts her or something and is
like Xavier's ex-girlfriend wants to
meet
you okay so then they meet but the whole
thing is like the ex-girlfriend is just
like he's a really wonderful guy and I
guess she's a she's actually a therapist
she's a family I think she's an lmfd I
think they said family therapist right
so I gave her a
license sure she's a fully
credential she's a master's level
clinician yeah here are the primary
panels um but it's just like a sweet
like kala was like yeah I loved him but
like I wasn't you and she was like says
at one point she's like part of me hates
you that like I wasn't you but part of
me also just like really wants to see
him win and be happy and um he's worth
giving another chance too right so I
guess that was the point of the plot
like the just this little side thing was
just more of like a even his ex thinks
he's great like give him a shot yes but
I'm like we literally don't hear she's
not relevant anywhere else and I was
like okay respectfully why the [ __ ] does
her opinion matter but also it's like
minor Intrigue like oh the ex wants to
meet is this going to be like a thing
but like the ex doesn't show up again
after this this is the the only thing
the ex does she's like the only one I'm
rooting for though call yeah I'm rooting
for the therapist and no one else I'm
rooting for calla and Kate and Chelsea I
guess I am rooting for Chelsea yeah well
and they allude to like her and Micah
maybe no Micah's mared break the driver
not break the driver
Malachi the FBI agent who will show up
oh okay okay who also doesn't really
matter so that's probably all you're
going to hear about Malachi
noted Xavier was able to confirm while
uh does not know waverly's meeting with
his ex-girlfriend that some of the
missions did in indeed get a little sus
with Target Productions like they
started more on the up and up um but
then kind of shifted over time to like
corporate Espionage more type
stuff
um yeah I guess that's what I'm not
really sure what level we're we're
looking at it seems kind of variable
depending on on the person
and yeah I don't know um but what Xavier
does realize is as he's going through
all of the uh stuff that Waverly gave
him he sees her hacker like username
handle and it's brat storm or something
like that but it's like the nickname he
gave Chelsea as a kid and he's like the
[ __ ] um so my notes wait a minute wait a
minute yes so he gets home and is like
trying to like or gets to waverly's
house it's not officially so but it's
trying to get Waverly to like admit
right that he hir she hired his sister
my notes literally say weird angry sex
scene where Xavier gets Waverly to admit
Chelsea is her hacker did he give her a
front wedgie with her
lingerie I feel that I don't need the
answer to that question no I feel like
it was like a yank and like a confess
sort of but it worked for them I don't
know okay it was weird to me
yeah just like camel to's not
sexy camels are like the least sexy
animal and camel toes no how can camels
be the least sexy animal when hump is
such a prominent
word asking the hard-hitting questions
on our podcast nailed it so because Brad
D had tasked uh Waverly with kidnapping
Petra she she's going ahead with this
event as if like as if all is good with
Target production so she accepts the
task they sneak in with like the produce
delivery or something but when Waverly
makes it into Petra's bedroom Xavier is
with her as well at this point um guess
who is in the bedroom with Petra is it
Dante four for four W nailed
it
yes Dante is in the bedroom um and then
Waverly realizes like oh that's why
Petro was nervous at the club was
because she's been
borking right I'm sorry borking I did I
was just going to let it ride you're far
too good to me boning [ __ ] whatever
word
porking w
so she doesn't know their relationship
is fake she's been going on a Magic
Carpet Ride with Dante every night um
and so Waverly realizes that but then
what Xavier realizes is like watching
this play out he's like Waverly is not
that upset about finding her man in bed
with someone else yeah she's not upset
enough yeah cuz like there have been
moments at the book that I just kind of
like skimmed over where uh she's
like he has clearly been figuring out
things and picking up Clues this whole
time but she's been alluding to like no
I still have this relationship with
Dante W Xavier has been like you and I
are together now right and she's kind of
been using that as her like Shield yes a
little bit of a
shield um they managed to like get Petra
out honestly at this point it feels like
it becomes an ensemble like situ because
uh Dante and Petra go with them but then
the bodyguard who got shot at the start
of the book and to I think or something
like he decides to go with them as well
because he's a big fan of Waverly yeah
so they all saved her or she saved his
life right exactly so they all managed
to like sneak out like Waverly speaking
Russian and like talking to the people
and like making everything happen and
Xavier's like you speak [ __ ] Russian
like like yeah Xavier maybe you just
don't know anything about
her I'm just saying there's so much
energy behind that you don't even know
her like I'm like we should really oh my
God okay it's
fine they take everyone back to Invictus
headquarters to like keep planning um
and Xavier has no patience for Dante uh
to the point that like Waverly pulls him
out of the room and was like you need to
get your [ __ ] together like we are
trying to like we're looking for
Solutions not problems right and that is
not what's happening here so like if we
don't have time for this yes 1,000%
because I mean Xavier was kind of like
yeah what have we been up to what you've
been missing well maybe if you if you
like your girlfriend Waverly she got
shot and you didn't show up and you
didn't like you instead you were [ __ ]
Petra while she's been what yeah far
more of that right sort of energy but at
this point Xavier has also like kind of
put together that she has lied Waverly
has lied about her relationship Dynamic
with Dante right it seems like they're
like finally together like Xavier and
Waverly are finally together at this
point
like she finally relented well it's like
he's just said it so much now that it
seems like she's like I just I don't
have the energy to argue with you right
now like we have other [ __ ] to do right
yes exact it's the Sigh it's the Sigh
for me yeah
sure yeah so as we are getting more
detail it seems about like what happened
with like the shootout what happened
with the pharmaceutical company um it is
all tied back to like Petra's dad
refusing to make that deal right um and
Dante had like just made it back up to
the house when they had been in Tahoe um
and was breaking into Petra's dad's
office when he got interrupted by her
like by Petra's security guards um and
then they got interrupted by like people
coming in with
guns um and that once Dante made it out
like with hert guards they've all been
staying under lock and key until they
could like confirm that they were safe
um but Dante has also realized that he's
like I've outlived my usefulness with
Target Productions and I like need to
stay low because right my life might not
might have an end date right at the rate
we're going yeah um they also then like
Loop in Petra's dad to make sure he's
aware since it's his company they bring
in like an FBI contact as I said just
really rounding out yeah the ensembl of
it all um
they all end up in like a safe house
together like all of them there's like
10 [ __ ] people in this summer camp
yes um but Xavier I'd say like Xavier
and W uh Waverly have both their
solidifying [ __ ] and solidifying
conversation where like while there have
been some conversations about let gam
before like actually having
conversations like true heart-to- hearts
about that night and the trauma that
happened and like but like one of the
things that wly said is that Xavier's
like I didn't protect you I didn't keep
you safe and she's like Xavier I was
bleeding out and like my life was fading
like I was like it was you talking to me
telling me to hold on that like kept me
alive so she's like you did not just
save me from gam like you kept me here
at all so when you're sitting here
saying like if it weren't for me that
wouldn't have happened she's like you
saved me more than you realized she
saved me right cuz this guy was coming
after her no matter what yes yeah well
and I think
too that's also part of what irritates
me not just with this book but with some
of the Dynamics and other books as well
where it's like he has made this
completely about him and his own
experience of that and not about her
experience of and she's the one who got
stabbed exactly she's the one who almost
died but he's made it all about himself
yes under the guys that it's protecting
her but it's really not it's just I'm
going to be a martyr because I love you
so much it's like okay buddy like [ __ ]
off dude well and I I think that's my
thing with this book where I'm like if
we could just like roll back that side
of it a little bit yeah I think I would
have been less frustrated because I feel
like if I can remove some of those
aspects I'm like it's a fun like I enjoy
The Ensemble I enjoy the dialogue but
just this like martyr hero who doesn't
actually like think through anyone
else's experience
while playing the Martyr while he does
everything for them yeah gets a little
old well and it's you know like the hard
thing would actually be sticking around
while they're recovering from this
trauma and being there for them and
putting them
first that would be the hard thing but
they make it out like me being away from
you was the hard thing it's like okay
okay like [ __ ] off yeah
like be staying present and doing the
work was the hard thing right um
avoiding the work was the easy way for
for the the woman to be alone and go
through it and for you to show up five
years later with the [ __ ] ring well
hopefully she's processed her trauma by
now so I can swoop back in uhhuh uh-huh
uhhuh no not not a fan of that side of
it so they end up starting to put their
plan into motion to make it seem like
Pedra was officially kidnapped her
bodyguard anelli calls hysterical
deserves an Oscar kind of energy good
for him yes we we're a big fan of this
random Russian bodyguard I'm also
rooting for Ani as you should
yes um pet not Petra Waverly ends up on
the phone with Brad and she's like yeah
like it happened she's like but I want a
cut of the deal that
um and she's like I'll tra I'll give you
Petra if you give me $25
million and he's
like not as much as I wanted to spend
but bet right like ultimately sure
there's some give and you drive a hard
bargain so what as they put the spend in
place all should be well however Brad is
starting to become a little bit like
unhinged and desperate right and um he
has moov money to several offshore bank
accounts um and Waverly is now under
investigation with the FBI for Dante's
disappearance because now they're like
Dante is missing the last person who saw
him was was his lady love yes was
Waverly who's now with somebody else
very publicly yes but you are also
seeing where like Brad is 1,00% planning
on setting up Waverly as the fall person
right for the whole all yes and like oh
[ __ ] you're right this is not great yeah
he's like trying to pin like all of the
off books Ops on her as well yeah
um things keep moving forward plot
points that like don't super matter I
don't know it's now the day of the
exchange like this is like kind of the
big finale right uh Waverly is supposed
to trade Petra for this money this big
exchange is supposed to happen they
clearly have this like huge plan in
place but you're like not sure of all of
the detail the details don't matter if
you want the
details read the book sure I know we do
a lot of like like retelling and make it
so you don't have to but it's going to
get redundant listen here's the thing I
feel like listening to me retell plot
points I feel like the plot points are
redundant to discuss right reading the
book it didn't feel as redundant as
outlining the book that makes sense yeah
yeah yeah well because it's different
when it flows as you're reading instead
of breaking it apart to
discuss it doesn't flow the same I get
it yeah so that's why I'm like ah okay
uh so we're exchanging yeah they don't
really the the details don't really
matter enough I'd say the biggest detail
for me is that like Xavier is like
really nervous about how this day is
going to like play out to the point that
like he's stressing in front of people
and Waverly pulls them into the bathroom
like the half bath just like off the
kitchen in front of all these people and
it's like we need like hey we got this
take a breath take a breath we're good
mhm we we are each others we had our
solidifying [ __ ] we are we are together
right we have got this um she tells him
that she loves him which I think might
be the first time that she told him that
she loved him and then he proposes in
the
bathroom with the ring in his
pocket yeah yeah no that that
happened Waverly uh is now getting ready
for the op yeah and puts on the ankle
tracker anklet that they gave the first
book which for the record at some point
Xavier's going to be like how's that
thing still working I gave it to you
five years ago and she's like I had M
replace the battery last week so now it
works again because I I thought of all
of the
contingencies I'm a super spy now I get
it get it um so Brad is like cool we're
going to meet at Grand Central Market
but then like plans are going to change
from there right um and so there's like
Invictus security people and FBI all
scattered throughout but Brad is like
plans have changed the exchange is no
longer happening there there's like a
Hollywood double-decker tour bus that's
going to pull up out front take your
coms out take like anything he's like I
know I know you did not show up with
nothing right I know you have backup
whatever yes throw throw the mic in the
garbage take out your comms and get on
that bus
um but Micah like not Micah Xavier
didn't know she was wearing the anklet
so she does like the Invictus security
like one long knock two short ones
that's how you know it's an evicted
security person she does that with her
foot and then he's like we can track the
anklet and I'm like why didn't you just
[ __ ] tell him right for the level of
op or Micah knew because he changed
whatever yes I'm
like oh in that moment when she tapped
her foot you're like we should track her
anklet nah [ __ ]
like okay maybe I'm getting a little
over this book at this point I feel it I
feel it you're like none of it
matters so they get on the double-decker
bus it takes them to like a movie studio
set all of the sound
stages and they like go into like a
warehouse and Waverly is like don't you
be like this is a bit melodramatic it's
like a
graveyard she's like I was like is it
the set of like Family Matters I'm like
imagining like a like a family room like
yeah different reasons for being
melodramatic here um Brad is there sure
yeah oh oh oh that's what I forgot to
mention when Brad was like we're like
changing the rule like go to Grand
Central Market then wait forther
instruction mhm he kidnapped syvia oh no
like sends Waverly a photo of her mom
drugged passed out oh [ __ ] yes so uh
Waverly has Petra with her and they are
now
on on set at the graveyard I don't know
sure um and then you get like Brad's
whole like villain monologue and like
she like pulls out some confessions and
things like and she she was like you got
rid of Dante and he's like I did what I
had to do like those sorts of things um
then he's like okay just just give me
the girl well plot twist we're gonna
whip that wig off of Petra it's not
Petra it's an Invictus agent Petra is
safe with
Dante making sweet love probably not at
present and the only reason I know that
is because it was part of the their plan
is that because uh Brad's like yeah I'm
going to pin all this on you and like
Dante's going missing then W Le's like
you might want to open this celeb
spotting app real fast and check that um
where on the app there's like a photo
it's Kate not Waverly but like of Kate
with Petra and Petra's dad there's a
photo of like Xavier and Petra and Dante
and Waverly all together having
breakfast being like these exes have
stayed for like where you're like yeah
clearly Petra and Dante aren't aren't
missing oh everything's fine what are
you pinning on me yes there was there
was no need for for the drama but then
like
as he makes a comment about like yeah
and like you'll never see dantean I
don't know Dante like are you sure about
that and like he has shown up Dante
showed up or Xavier showed up no Dante
that was actually no touche well like
Brad has like more goons that come out
of the wood but the goons are actually
all
like stuntmen that have worked for his
company that have not been the best
stuntmen um and then Dante's there like
waiver like not obviously Waverly
Xavier's there Micah's there the FBI are
there the whole ensom appears you
understand the assignment Brad runs out
of the room Waverly pursues in a foot
chase Xavier more foot chases yes Xavier
has to chase after Waverly obvious
because that's all that man does is run
after her and he's into it he really is
he probably had a semi the whole time I
would imagine it's harder to run with a
semi might have slowed him down a
littleit not as convenient he's like
this is an inopportune time to pop funky
little waddle like a Bowlegged moment
why are you waddling like a penguin he's
like don't worry about it why are you
bowlegged do you have a pillow I can put
over my lap while I run it's
fine just hold my gun in
front are we in a highspeed Chase or you
just happy to see
me oh no yes okay all right so we're
chasing
Brad yeah I don't however it plays out
um Waverly like shines a flashlight in
Brad's face in the dark manages I don't
know if she she shoots him he Brad
shoots his gun it like grazes Xavier's
arm they take Brad down sure the end not
the end oh I was like well okay they
wrap it all up and then so like a couple
weeks in the future as it's being
wrapped
up Xavier is flying back to LA and when
he gets there Waverly has left a note
that's like gone on a vacation see you
soon and he's like the [ __ ] you mean
you'll see me like what and so uh he
uses his excellent detective skills to
figure out where she went he flies and
gets there is it to Barbados five out of
five for [ __ ] off five out of 10 not
five out of 10 five out of five I didn't
mean to go from I would prefer five out
of 10 to be
honest you're like it feels more
authentic to the situ but when he gets
there and gets to the hotel and he's
like where the [ __ ] is we and people
like hi Mr Saint so glad to see you and
he's like what do you mean you're you're
glad to see me and they're like if you
want to go out by the pool and he's like
what are you talking about then he
starts to see more and more people and
then when he's like Waverly I have been
traveling for a week straight trying to
get all this settled I just wanted to
[ __ ] you in our house what and she's
like well how was I going to get you to
barus to surprise you with a wedding ha
and and so yeah they get married in
Barbados and she's wearing the white
dress he bought her in Greece in the
first book and they live happily ever
after
okay okay so what's our raing scale here
ankle monitors because no I've been
thinking this whole time like what could
we use as you're talking I'm like it was
an anklet it was not an ankle
monitor like like she's in drug cour
cute anklet that had a tracker on it I'm
thinking like a diamond like a a heart
pennant and you're like I'm like the
ones you have to like plug into the wall
that you can't take off like the one
that lets you lets people know if you
make it more than 500 yards from your
front door tamperproof
tamper okay anklets no I I really have
been thinking this whole time like okay
brunches I don't know condos in
buies vacation homes in buies is that
what we white white
dresses
uh private
jets
motorcycles good luck charm necklaces
yeah you're right there's not like a
yeah there's not a standout thing let's
just go with B's vacation homes sure I'm
sure hers is very large yeah so there's
probably only
one so it's a
should we do how many bedrooms in your
bise vacation home yeah out of out of 10
bedrooms oh that's a big out of 10 rooms
okay 10 rooms out of 10 rooms not all
bedrooms okay 10 rooms in your B's
vacation home mm how many rooms do you
dedicate this book
to chy okay my answer might be a little
more forgiving than yours but let's see
four bedrooms
I was thinking three I wasn't I wasn't
that much far off three and a half bath
well here's the thing oh baths a half
bath well I'm adding a half bath onto
the third room you know it has an on
Suite three rooms one has an on Suite
final offer
um well and I know I kind of said this
earlier every time I've read this book
it has been a different experience and
while there's a lot that like really
frustrated me about Xavier and kind of
his entitled
Approach at the same
time it's just fun like you know like
I'm like you you're looking for some
action and adventure you're looking for
some like cute Ensemble moments it's
like the cast builds
like okay like yeah a lot of what he did
annoyed me and like so and I think
that's where I'm like yeah four
feels okay yeah well and I think that
again like if these books had been
separate yes it would have felt maybe
different for me because the story of
the second
book is good it's interesting it's fun
same with the first one it's interesting
different to the first one you're like
these feel like it feels forced like
slightly separate ideas that were worked
into one duet right I would okay you
know I'm going to
say four rooms in a hot tub final off
okay yeah I'll give it a little a hot
tub a hot yes a hot
tub with the bubbles on or no obviously
bubbles can you have Z without jets in a
hot tub you cannot yeah if you want J
bubbles are required all right so
Hannah's going three rooms and a half
bath I'm going four rooms and a hot tub
and a hot tub with the Jets on mhm mhm
final offer yes let us know how many uh
hot tubs how many rooms how many
whatever ratings we're choosing our own
adventure with this rating system as we
do every week but this one feels more
than usual um let us know what you think
yeah and honestly if you've made it this
far we're really glad that you made it
through both episodes of the of the duet
yeah thank you for coming on this
journey with us notably I feel like we
had some better jokes in this one than
the first one so if you're here you got
to hear all of those jokes if you ended
with the first one you might have missed
out that might be a bummer for you but
you won't know cuz you won't be hearing
me monologue right now all right on that
case I'm just gonna I'm I'm I'm a quit
now okay
bye have a wonderful day don't forget to
like And subscribe we're so glad you're
here yep share your recommendations and
Thoughts with us yes and we will see you
next time bye smut [ __ ]
well that's it for this week's muts
[ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it
sure was great for us if you're digging
what we're doing it would mean a lot if
you'd take a minute to rate and review
the show wherever you're listening right
now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend
us an ear we love you we appreciate you
and we'll see you next week stay
Spidey