WEBVTT 00:00:03.060 --> 00:00:05.520 Matt Abrahams: Ready, set, go. 00:00:05.910 --> 00:00:09.330 Let's get into some communication conundrums and questions. 00:00:09.840 --> 00:00:13.140 I'm Matt Abrahams and I teach strategic communication at Stanford 00:00:13.140 --> 00:00:14.430 Graduate School of Business. 00:00:14.700 --> 00:00:18.510 Welcome to this Quick Thinks Ask Matt Anything episode of Think 00:00:18.510 --> 00:00:20.355 Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast. 00:00:21.465 --> 00:00:24.884 One of the many, many things I love about the Think Fast Talk Smart Learning 00:00:24.884 --> 00:00:26.985 Community is interacting with our members. 00:00:27.105 --> 00:00:30.555 I do this through posts, comments, and discussions, along with author 00:00:30.555 --> 00:00:33.375 talks and AMAs, Ask Matt Anythings. 00:00:33.825 --> 00:00:36.955 Today I'm sharing a portion of a recent Learning Community AMA. 00:00:37.485 --> 00:00:41.985 Listen in to learn about moving from reacting to responding, memorizing 00:00:42.045 --> 00:00:45.945 to conversing, and how to integrate these tips into your everyday life. 00:00:46.215 --> 00:00:50.355 And consider joining the Learning Community at fastersmarter.io/learning 00:00:50.485 --> 00:00:52.585 to ask your questions live. 00:00:52.915 --> 00:00:53.995 So let's get to it. 00:00:55.315 --> 00:00:56.515 Learning Community Member 1: Uh, I'm in Switzerland actually. 00:00:56.845 --> 00:00:57.715 Matt Abrahams: Oh, excellent. 00:00:57.835 --> 00:00:59.215 Love to hear your question, please. 00:00:59.665 --> 00:01:01.015 Learning Community Member 1: I try to use the structure 00:01:01.015 --> 00:01:02.635 what, now what, so what, a lot. 00:01:02.865 --> 00:01:04.944 And if I prepare myself, it works quite well. 00:01:05.895 --> 00:01:09.015 And then the conversation starts, and I guess I'm a very emotional 00:01:09.015 --> 00:01:10.845 guy and I can be very impulsive. 00:01:11.024 --> 00:01:15.854 Once my values are hurt, I start to become a little bit destructive and I 00:01:15.854 --> 00:01:20.054 just lose control about every structure, say a few things then make some stupid 00:01:20.054 --> 00:01:24.094 comments, and then I find difficulties how to control that situation. 00:01:24.495 --> 00:01:27.075 Matt Abrahams: What I'd like to suggest is a few things, and you can let me 00:01:27.075 --> 00:01:29.925 know if you think they work, and in fact, you can try them out and then 00:01:29.925 --> 00:01:33.285 write me inside the Learning Community and we can engage in a conversation. 00:01:33.615 --> 00:01:37.335 For me at least, and what the research suggests, is if you can give yourself 00:01:37.335 --> 00:01:42.255 a little bit of distance from the offending act, whatever it is, 00:01:42.255 --> 00:01:45.160 somebody says something that upsets you, somebody disrespects you in some 00:01:45.160 --> 00:01:49.350 way, if you can give yourself a little bit of space, you can then make a 00:01:49.350 --> 00:01:53.820 more conscious decision rather than just respond with whatever comes up. 00:01:53.820 --> 00:01:54.930 So how can you do that? 00:01:54.930 --> 00:01:55.890 Well, a couple things. 00:01:56.310 --> 00:01:59.100 One, you can literally ask for it. 00:01:59.100 --> 00:02:03.090 You can say, I wasn't expecting that, or, wow, that didn't feel so good. 00:02:03.090 --> 00:02:05.190 Gimme a moment, and just ask for it. 00:02:05.190 --> 00:02:09.270 Now, that might feel weird to do, but it gives you a second, and in that 00:02:09.270 --> 00:02:11.009 moment you can take a deep breath. 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:15.329 You can recognize, hey, this is me feeling really upset at this moment, 00:02:15.329 --> 00:02:18.989 or this is me feeling very confused, and giving that distance, that 00:02:18.989 --> 00:02:21.450 psychological distance, can help. 00:02:21.900 --> 00:02:25.590 So I think the bottom line here, Florian, is if you can buy yourself just a little 00:02:25.590 --> 00:02:31.290 bit of time, you can think a little bit more, react rather than respond. 00:02:31.290 --> 00:02:32.640 I make a difference between those two. 00:02:32.640 --> 00:02:37.170 React is to act again, meaning you think about it and then you act, respond 00:02:37.170 --> 00:02:39.690 is just to immediately do something. 00:02:40.244 --> 00:02:44.595 What I'm hearing is that you respond quickly and maybe buying yourself 00:02:44.595 --> 00:02:46.125 some time to react will help. 00:02:46.575 --> 00:02:48.674 Other questions that folks might have? 00:02:49.214 --> 00:02:49.364 Learning Community Member 2: Yeah. 00:02:49.364 --> 00:02:50.445 Matt, I have a question. 00:02:50.774 --> 00:02:51.195 Matt Abrahams: Please. 00:02:51.494 --> 00:02:55.214 Learning Community Member 2: So I'm very fascinated with this idea of improv 00:02:55.214 --> 00:02:57.974 speaking and, uh, impromptu speaking. 00:02:58.065 --> 00:03:02.565 So I did a TEDx talk about two years ago and that was all memorization 00:03:02.624 --> 00:03:03.855 and it was all memory palace. 00:03:04.620 --> 00:03:07.369 And I did a pretty okay job at it, I think. 00:03:07.850 --> 00:03:13.049 Do you suggest I use the basic trainings I got with memory palace and how to 00:03:13.049 --> 00:03:18.600 adjust that so that I can actually speak coherently, but also not be 00:03:18.660 --> 00:03:24.420 so fixated on that cognitive load, which is exactly my stumbling blocks. 00:03:24.915 --> 00:03:26.355 Matt Abrahams: I love this question. 00:03:26.355 --> 00:03:29.835 First and foremost, congratulations on focusing on this. 00:03:29.835 --> 00:03:33.195 Many people are just so glad to figure out a way to get information out. 00:03:33.255 --> 00:03:36.405 They're not looking to be more in the moment and spontaneous. 00:03:36.705 --> 00:03:39.015 Congratulations on giving a TEDx talk. 00:03:39.525 --> 00:03:43.455 There are times where you are in a situation where you have 00:03:43.455 --> 00:03:45.050 to say something exactly right. 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:51.720 Imagine a medical professional, a legal professional, a politician, where it is 00:03:51.720 --> 00:03:55.079 really important to get it exactly right. 00:03:55.769 --> 00:04:00.780 And in those cases, if you don't have notes or a teleprompter, then using some 00:04:00.780 --> 00:04:03.089 kind of memory aid can be really helpful. 00:04:03.600 --> 00:04:06.929 Now, for those of you who aren't familiar, the memory palace is a technique. 00:04:07.350 --> 00:04:11.760 It's a technique of using spatial location to help us remember. 00:04:12.195 --> 00:04:17.325 Human beings, our species, is really good at spatial location, and 00:04:17.325 --> 00:04:18.975 there are whole theories as to why. 00:04:19.515 --> 00:04:25.755 And so the spatial palace has you put, in your mind's eye, information in 00:04:25.755 --> 00:04:27.795 locations that are very familiar for you. 00:04:28.065 --> 00:04:31.785 So the reason it's called palace, it often is done with a home or a setting. 00:04:32.145 --> 00:04:35.895 So if I am trying to learn something and really make sure I remember 00:04:35.895 --> 00:04:39.165 it, I think about my childhood home, the house I grew up in. 00:04:39.165 --> 00:04:41.605 I know the layout very well in my mind. 00:04:42.175 --> 00:04:47.460 And in each room or area of the house, I put a concept, an idea, some words. 00:04:47.760 --> 00:04:51.270 It helps me remember because I'm associating the information 00:04:51.270 --> 00:04:54.690 I want to communicate with a location I'm very familiar with. 00:04:54.690 --> 00:04:59.370 So essentially I'm piggybacking or hitchhiking on my brain's 00:04:59.370 --> 00:05:01.950 ability to remember location well. 00:05:02.130 --> 00:05:04.919 And so I just wanna make sure everybody understood what we were talking about 00:05:04.919 --> 00:05:06.280 when we were talking about memory palace. 00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:07.740 It's a very useful technique. 00:05:07.740 --> 00:05:10.530 In fact, there are memory competitions. 00:05:10.799 --> 00:05:14.219 There's a great book called Walking on the Moon with Einstein. 00:05:14.219 --> 00:05:18.869 It's about a journalist who was really fascinated by these memory competitions 00:05:19.289 --> 00:05:23.429 and so much so that he actually started entering them and ended up becoming a 00:05:23.429 --> 00:05:25.559 national or international memory champion. 00:05:25.830 --> 00:05:29.760 How can we feel more comfortable getting through material spontaneously? 00:05:30.150 --> 00:05:34.530 I really believe the answer is structure and practice. 00:05:35.070 --> 00:05:37.049 Structure as we were just talking about. 00:05:37.049 --> 00:05:39.539 What, so what, now what, is an example of structure. 00:05:39.539 --> 00:05:43.440 There are many problem, solution, benefit, past, present, future, 00:05:43.440 --> 00:05:45.390 comparison, contrast, conclusion. 00:05:45.659 --> 00:05:46.979 Lots of different structures. 00:05:47.219 --> 00:05:50.880 A structure provides a roadmap like a GPS. 00:05:51.210 --> 00:05:54.030 It is hard to get lost if you have a structure. 00:05:54.299 --> 00:05:59.640 So by knowing my structure well, let's say I want to use problem, solution, benefit. 00:05:59.640 --> 00:06:00.659 I'm trying to persuade people. 00:06:01.455 --> 00:06:03.884 I know the problem well, I've thought about it. 00:06:03.884 --> 00:06:05.254 I've done research, whatever. 00:06:05.254 --> 00:06:06.405 I know the problem well. 00:06:06.734 --> 00:06:10.844 The solution is something I really believe in, so I also know that well, and I've 00:06:10.844 --> 00:06:12.854 thought about how I and others benefit. 00:06:12.854 --> 00:06:17.474 So by having those different parts of the structure known well, because I've 00:06:17.474 --> 00:06:21.705 thought about, spent time doing it, when I'm in the process of delivering the 00:06:21.705 --> 00:06:27.435 communication, and if for some reason I feel a little lost or concerned, I simply 00:06:27.435 --> 00:06:31.844 have to say, okay, I just talked about the problem, I know solution always follows. 00:06:32.235 --> 00:06:35.235 So that's how a structure provides a roadmap. 00:06:35.594 --> 00:06:39.435 Now, if you go from memorizing or using a technique like the memory 00:06:39.435 --> 00:06:43.305 palace to just relying on structure, it can feel like a big leap. 00:06:43.575 --> 00:06:47.370 And that's why practice in low stake situations is important. 00:06:47.909 --> 00:06:52.175 So I wouldn't do this on a TED or a TEDx stage for the first time. 00:06:52.655 --> 00:06:58.364 But I might do it in a PTA meeting or in a team meeting when I'm presenting. 00:06:58.664 --> 00:07:01.844 So you have to practice and relying on structure. 00:07:02.325 --> 00:07:05.565 And a third thing that I do that really helps me, and for some people 00:07:05.565 --> 00:07:10.844 this works and for others it doesn't, is I use questions as triggers. 00:07:11.205 --> 00:07:16.875 So if I were using problem, solution, benefit, I might start my persuasive 00:07:16.905 --> 00:07:22.560 presentation meeting contribution by saying there's a fundamental challenge 00:07:22.560 --> 00:07:26.340 that we have, and I'd like to ask all of you, how can we solve it? 00:07:26.670 --> 00:07:29.790 So you see how I'm asking myself a question and because I know the 00:07:29.790 --> 00:07:34.830 answer to the question, it helps me get into the structure I want to use. 00:07:35.070 --> 00:07:37.290 So when I lecture my students, I never say, today we're 00:07:37.290 --> 00:07:38.490 going to cover three points. 00:07:38.490 --> 00:07:42.390 I always say we're going to answer three questions today, and then I pose 00:07:42.390 --> 00:07:47.070 the question as a trigger to help me remember the structure that I want to use. 00:07:47.490 --> 00:07:48.450 So let me pause there. 00:07:48.450 --> 00:07:51.810 Do you think leveraging structure and perhaps questions would be helpful 00:07:51.810 --> 00:07:54.150 to you, uh, in these circumstances? 00:07:54.750 --> 00:07:55.500 Learning Community Member 2: Absolutely. 00:07:55.590 --> 00:07:57.570 That really gave me great context. 00:07:57.630 --> 00:07:58.170 Thanks, Matt. 00:07:59.159 --> 00:08:01.980 Learning Community Member 3: My question will be more about the preparation. 00:08:01.980 --> 00:08:07.980 I believe that my main challenge for public speaking is having something 00:08:07.980 --> 00:08:13.050 interesting to say, especially when I'm part of Toast Masters at 00:08:13.050 --> 00:08:15.450 McGill University here in Montreal. 00:08:15.870 --> 00:08:19.860 My challenge is that first of all, I'm French speaking. 00:08:20.340 --> 00:08:25.500 I like to practice my public speaking in English so that I will grow, 00:08:25.500 --> 00:08:30.929 I will increase my vocabulary, grammar, and everything in English. 00:08:31.409 --> 00:08:36.900 My challenge is that I sometimes lack the vocabulary, obviously, when I 00:08:36.900 --> 00:08:42.569 want to say some, uh, when I'm, I'm presenting or speaking, and I know that 00:08:42.569 --> 00:08:49.059 I just have to increase listening to podcast, reading, et cetera, et cetera. 00:08:49.269 --> 00:08:56.260 But my other challenge is structure, organize my day, so that I still find 00:08:56.280 --> 00:08:58.589 time to, to find some time of learning. 00:08:58.589 --> 00:09:05.130 I'm just curious and have my own business in PR, but I know I have to keep on 00:09:05.130 --> 00:09:07.410 learning and learning each and every day. 00:09:07.439 --> 00:09:11.490 Because just as you said, it's a way of training your brain. 00:09:11.870 --> 00:09:16.574 And make sure that you grow in your knowledge and your also your speaking. 00:09:17.354 --> 00:09:20.385 Matt Abrahams: I like that you are thinking about improving communication, 00:09:20.385 --> 00:09:24.645 not just by doing it, and practice is really important, but by learning 00:09:24.645 --> 00:09:28.395 skills, the why behind the what, and listening to shows like Think 00:09:28.395 --> 00:09:32.265 Fast Talk Smart, reading books, can be very helpful to building that. 00:09:32.595 --> 00:09:37.395 And then the other thing I liked that you said is the building into 00:09:37.395 --> 00:09:41.835 your daily routine ways to learn and practice communication skills. 00:09:42.450 --> 00:09:45.720 Many of us think that communication is when we're standing up in a meeting 00:09:45.720 --> 00:09:49.530 or giving a big presentation or pitch, but we're communicating all the time. 00:09:49.770 --> 00:09:52.950 The way in which we communicate and the things we say and the order in which we 00:09:52.950 --> 00:09:54.630 say it, all of that can be instructive. 00:09:54.630 --> 00:09:58.680 So when you're having a family meal and you're talking with your children, or when 00:09:58.680 --> 00:10:02.640 you are talking with a neighbor, there are things you can be thinking about and 00:10:02.640 --> 00:10:06.660 working on that will help you in those more formal types of communication. 00:10:06.840 --> 00:10:08.040 It's about intent. 00:10:08.100 --> 00:10:09.330 It's just about thinking. 00:10:09.750 --> 00:10:14.580 The best way to be engaged in communication is to be curious. 00:10:14.850 --> 00:10:18.210 It's about being interested, not interesting. 00:10:18.750 --> 00:10:24.569 And so if you can focus on asking questions, paraphrasing to show that 00:10:24.569 --> 00:10:27.990 you've heard what the person says, giving people more space to talk. 00:10:28.350 --> 00:10:30.630 You might have heard me tell this story about my mother-in-law. 00:10:30.630 --> 00:10:35.880 She was a black belt in small talk, and she would simply say, tell me more. 00:10:36.734 --> 00:10:39.765 So as part of a conversation, she would give somebody space. 00:10:40.064 --> 00:10:44.564 And when you do that, you then find interesting things to talk about. 00:10:44.984 --> 00:10:48.704 So we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be interesting and if we're 00:10:48.704 --> 00:10:51.405 interested, the interesting will follow. 00:10:51.765 --> 00:10:56.175 So ask questions, paraphrase, give people space to talk, and 00:10:56.175 --> 00:10:57.314 you'll make a big difference. 00:10:57.885 --> 00:10:59.594 Every night before I go to bed. 00:11:00.015 --> 00:11:02.834 I spend a minute thinking about one thing that went well in my 00:11:02.834 --> 00:11:05.895 communication that day, and one thing that I was not as pleased 00:11:05.895 --> 00:11:07.275 with, something I'd like to work on. 00:11:07.635 --> 00:11:12.495 And every Sunday I go back and I look at the list and I make a plan for 00:11:12.495 --> 00:11:15.960 the week ahead to work on that skill. 00:11:15.960 --> 00:11:19.830 So this week, something I did last week, I was part of a conversation and 00:11:19.830 --> 00:11:21.900 I didn't feel that I listened very well. 00:11:21.900 --> 00:11:26.400 I was rushed and I had an agenda in mind and I don't feel I listened very well. 00:11:26.400 --> 00:11:29.250 So this week I'm really working on my listening skills. 00:11:29.460 --> 00:11:33.090 Who knows what I'll work on next week, but, uh, that's how I have incorporated 00:11:33.090 --> 00:11:35.190 working on communication into my life. 00:11:35.550 --> 00:11:38.850 I know other people who have a trusted other, uh, if you 00:11:38.850 --> 00:11:40.360 will, a communication buddy. 00:11:40.830 --> 00:11:44.115 And at the end of meetings, regular meetings, like maybe team meetings, 00:11:44.444 --> 00:11:47.805 they'll sit down with their buddy, their partner, and they'll just say, hey, gimme 00:11:47.805 --> 00:11:49.694 one strength and one thing to strengthen. 00:11:49.935 --> 00:11:53.745 So they build in feedback close to the actual communication, 00:11:53.745 --> 00:11:55.155 so it's fresh in their minds. 00:11:55.530 --> 00:11:57.000 Sarah, I see your hand came up. 00:11:57.000 --> 00:11:58.230 Happy to hear from you. 00:11:58.530 --> 00:11:58.770 Learning Community Member 4: Yes. 00:11:58.770 --> 00:12:00.870 I just wanted to reflect on what you were saying. 00:12:01.020 --> 00:12:04.440 When asking for feedback you just ask the person, but you don't 00:12:04.500 --> 00:12:05.790 ask them just for a feedback. 00:12:05.790 --> 00:12:11.370 You tell them, I'm focusing on improving this part or like talking or the body 00:12:11.370 --> 00:12:15.060 language or a specific category or a specific topic that you're working on, 00:12:15.300 --> 00:12:19.410 and then asking this person to focus on that part that you're working on during 00:12:19.410 --> 00:12:21.150 a meeting or during a presentation. 00:12:21.590 --> 00:12:23.490 And then they give you a feedback on that. 00:12:23.490 --> 00:12:25.710 So I think this is a very good method. 00:12:25.710 --> 00:12:27.520 I've read about it, I really like it. 00:12:27.540 --> 00:12:29.790 Matt Abrahams: And I really appreciate you sharing that, Sarah. 00:12:29.790 --> 00:12:30.930 Sarah, where in the world are you? 00:12:31.260 --> 00:12:31.590 Learning Community Member 4: Egypt. 00:12:32.130 --> 00:12:32.670 Matt Abrahams: Egypt. 00:12:32.670 --> 00:12:33.390 Wonderful. 00:12:33.390 --> 00:12:33.840 Thank you. 00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:38.640 There's a whole bunch of research and a lot of experts make the same suggestion. 00:12:38.910 --> 00:12:43.710 When asking for feedback it is very important to be specific 00:12:44.130 --> 00:12:45.570 about the feedback you want. 00:12:45.950 --> 00:12:47.310 Giving feedback is hard. 00:12:47.730 --> 00:12:51.270 And if you make it easy for people, people will often take the easiest route. 00:12:51.510 --> 00:12:54.060 If I just say, do you have any feedback for me, it's the easiest 00:12:54.060 --> 00:12:55.290 route is to say, no, it was good. 00:12:55.500 --> 00:12:56.220 That's easy. 00:12:56.220 --> 00:12:57.660 It's not confrontational. 00:12:57.930 --> 00:13:02.310 So being specific, what are one or two things I could do to help make 00:13:02.310 --> 00:13:04.350 this meeting run more effectively? 00:13:04.709 --> 00:13:10.079 Do you hear how that's a much more specific ask, and it can be very helpful. 00:13:10.079 --> 00:13:14.280 Now, the other thing that's super helpful when asking for feedback is 00:13:14.280 --> 00:13:17.370 to demonstrate that you heard the feedback, doesn't mean you agree 00:13:17.370 --> 00:13:19.830 with it, and to try to act on it. 00:13:19.830 --> 00:13:22.440 People are much more likely to give you feedback if they feel like you're 00:13:22.440 --> 00:13:25.140 really listening and that you're really trying to make adjustments. 00:13:25.290 --> 00:13:25.890 Absolutely. 00:13:25.890 --> 00:13:27.450 And Sarah, I really appreciate that. 00:13:27.870 --> 00:13:30.780 Let me ask one question and then I think we'll bring this to a close. 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:35.040 I'm curious if you have had a time to explore the Learning Community. 00:13:35.850 --> 00:13:39.959 And I'm curious to find what you are finding valuable from it. 00:13:39.959 --> 00:13:42.000 There are so many different features that will be helpful. 00:13:42.209 --> 00:13:46.829 We have our quests, which are guided opportunities to learn a particular skill 00:13:46.829 --> 00:13:48.360 that go for a certain number of days. 00:13:48.360 --> 00:13:51.360 So any one quest has challenges in it. 00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:54.329 We just did a quest together on small talk. 00:13:54.660 --> 00:13:57.360 But we have lessons, these are asynchronous videos 00:13:57.360 --> 00:13:58.589 that cover different topics. 00:13:58.589 --> 00:14:01.350 We'll be releasing a new lesson every so often. 00:14:01.350 --> 00:14:03.329 In fact, our next one is coming out soon. 00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:04.920 We have author talks. 00:14:04.920 --> 00:14:09.180 I just spoke with a mentor of mine, Patricia Ryan Madson, fantastic. 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:11.370 You can watch the, the recording of that. 00:14:11.730 --> 00:14:12.990 We have AI tools. 00:14:12.990 --> 00:14:16.530 We have one you type into that responds, and then we have one you can talk to. 00:14:16.530 --> 00:14:19.680 It's like having a conversation with me, and lots of other things. 00:14:19.680 --> 00:14:22.890 I'm just curious if one or two of you'd be willing to share what you're finding 00:14:22.890 --> 00:14:26.829 value in in the Learning Community, because we'd like to bring you more of it. 00:14:27.210 --> 00:14:30.020 Learning Community Member 2: So, I really love the author talks. 00:14:30.020 --> 00:14:30.520 It was really good. 00:14:30.540 --> 00:14:30.750 Matt Abrahams: Oh, great. 00:14:30.840 --> 00:14:31.319 Thank you. 00:14:31.530 --> 00:14:33.210 Learning Community Member 2: I did tune into the recent one. 00:14:33.645 --> 00:14:37.064 And I think it has a lot of great content. 00:14:37.334 --> 00:14:40.395 I just, timewise, it's just a lot to get through. 00:14:41.324 --> 00:14:41.685 Matt Abrahams: Yes, of course. 00:14:41.685 --> 00:14:42.615 Learning Community Member 2: But I was just curious if you thought 00:14:42.704 --> 00:14:46.454 of maybe having or implementing something like a collaborative. 00:14:46.844 --> 00:14:47.954 Matt Abrahams: Tell me more about this. 00:14:48.285 --> 00:14:53.025 Learning Community Member 2: I find that I learn better when I am in a group setting, 00:14:53.025 --> 00:14:55.064 or at least with one or two other people. 00:14:55.574 --> 00:14:58.485 And it fosters, because we're talking about communication, 00:14:58.485 --> 00:14:59.985 it fosters that communication. 00:15:00.495 --> 00:15:06.330 And I think I could maybe learn new things from a few people who might 00:15:06.330 --> 00:15:08.620 wanna join a pod of, or a smaller pod. 00:15:08.620 --> 00:15:12.360 Matt Abrahams: Absolutely, yes, and 100%, we learn best when we work together. 00:15:12.360 --> 00:15:13.440 Thank you for sharing that. 00:15:13.680 --> 00:15:17.010 The goal of the quests is to try to do that, you can do it on your own. 00:15:17.190 --> 00:15:19.830 There will be times where we will organize them like we just 00:15:19.830 --> 00:15:21.660 did with the one on small talk. 00:15:22.170 --> 00:15:26.130 But also you have every right in the Learning Community itself to 00:15:26.130 --> 00:15:29.580 post and say, I'm interested in, hey, there's this quest on whatever. 00:15:29.880 --> 00:15:31.920 I'm interested in doing it, and see if other people will join you. 00:15:31.920 --> 00:15:35.580 So I'm not saying, I'm not trying to put it all on you by any means, we will try to 00:15:35.580 --> 00:15:39.810 facilitate some of this, uh, on a regular basis, but you also have the opportunity. 00:15:39.810 --> 00:15:42.960 Part of what I'm hoping happens in the Learning Community is people who have 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:46.950 similar goals, and everybody has different communication goals, can find each other. 00:15:46.950 --> 00:15:48.210 But I love that idea. 00:15:48.660 --> 00:15:50.849 Other thoughts about the Learning Community? 00:15:51.180 --> 00:15:53.400 Learning Community Member 4: Yes, for the small talk, the quest, it was really 00:15:53.400 --> 00:15:57.359 up to, I couldn't attend all the, the calls like after the quest, the next 00:15:57.359 --> 00:16:01.020 day, but I watched the recording, so it was really nice to hear from people 00:16:01.199 --> 00:16:05.490 when they said what they had practiced and to do what, like what they did 00:16:06.060 --> 00:16:08.390 during these exercises, small exercise. 00:16:08.699 --> 00:16:12.405 And what I liked as well, like today for example, there was, I think it 00:16:12.405 --> 00:16:15.705 was about the movement and engaging with your audience, and I just 00:16:15.705 --> 00:16:18.945 posted a question because it was talking about, uh, presenting in 00:16:18.945 --> 00:16:20.835 real life, not online or virtual. 00:16:20.895 --> 00:16:24.945 And I was asking about how to do it virtually and to have this, 00:16:25.035 --> 00:16:26.685 the same thing, like do it online. 00:16:26.925 --> 00:16:29.715 And I got an answer like an hour after. 00:16:29.715 --> 00:16:32.415 So, so the support there is very amazing. 00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:35.490 Matt Abrahams: Yes, everybody has expertise in communication. 00:16:35.490 --> 00:16:38.730 We've all been doing it for a long time, so I love that other people are sharing. 00:16:38.730 --> 00:16:41.280 I am certainly not the only voice that needs to be listened 00:16:41.280 --> 00:16:42.660 to or should be listened to. 00:16:42.870 --> 00:16:45.240 And thank you for taking the time to join, not just the 00:16:45.240 --> 00:16:46.770 community, but for joining today. 00:16:46.770 --> 00:16:47.850 I hope you took value. 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:52.140 I challenge all of you to continue to explore and do the work. 00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:56.100 We have another author talk coming up on February 12th. 00:16:56.100 --> 00:17:00.000 I'll be talking to my friend and linguist, Valerie Fridland, 00:17:00.209 --> 00:17:01.739 one of my favorite episodes. 00:17:01.739 --> 00:17:02.759 I was talking to her. 00:17:03.090 --> 00:17:05.550 And then I will do another, ask me anything towards the 00:17:05.550 --> 00:17:06.779 end of the month in February. 00:17:06.779 --> 00:17:11.670 So the goal is to have one author talk and one AMA a month in the Learning Community 00:17:11.670 --> 00:17:12.929 as well as some of the other things. 00:17:12.929 --> 00:17:15.810 So please take, uh, advantage of it and I appreciate that. 00:17:16.139 --> 00:17:18.960 I see there's one more quick comment before we wrap up. 00:17:19.860 --> 00:17:20.130 Learning Community Member 3: Yes. 00:17:20.134 --> 00:17:25.710 It was just about the, the quest, I really like the fact that we can, I 00:17:25.710 --> 00:17:27.960 can take some time to pause and think. 00:17:28.420 --> 00:17:32.159 And the quest really is really helpful in the, the, the 00:17:32.159 --> 00:17:35.070 reflection, the introspection. 00:17:35.190 --> 00:17:36.929 I don't know if that's the word in English. 00:17:37.469 --> 00:17:43.230 Thinking about, uh, what are the skills, the tips, the things that I already 00:17:43.230 --> 00:17:49.350 have that I can put into, uh, action to improve my, my public speaking. 00:17:49.650 --> 00:17:55.500 Or tools that I could, uh, learn or improve, et cetera. 00:17:56.010 --> 00:17:59.760 And I really also enjoyed the, the books. 00:18:00.150 --> 00:18:06.420 Um, it's interesting to discover the type of books that we can read or 00:18:06.420 --> 00:18:10.110 the type of authors or books that we can, or maybe authors we can 00:18:10.110 --> 00:18:12.330 follow, or books that we can read. 00:18:12.840 --> 00:18:18.630 Because sometimes it's about like, there's a lot of, uh, knowledge around the world, 00:18:18.630 --> 00:18:23.760 everywhere about communication, sometime you don't really know where to look, so 00:18:23.760 --> 00:18:29.790 it's good if, with what you are doing with the book club, it's like giving 00:18:29.790 --> 00:18:33.750 us some kind of roadmap or some ideas. 00:18:34.170 --> 00:18:35.179 Matt Abrahams: Absolutely. 00:18:35.179 --> 00:18:39.870 In, in the chat on the fastersmarter.io site, which is the site for the 00:18:39.870 --> 00:18:42.275 podcast, uh, we have a whole book list. 00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:46.529 These are books from our guests and all of them have to do with communication 00:18:46.529 --> 00:18:47.790 in some way, shape, or form. 00:18:50.460 --> 00:18:53.764 Thank you for joining us for this Quick Thinks Ask Matt Anything episode. 00:18:54.554 --> 00:18:58.815 To join our next AMA Live, sign up for our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning 00:18:58.815 --> 00:19:01.965 Community at fastersmarter.io/learning. 00:19:02.445 --> 00:19:07.335 This episode was produced by Katherine Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams. 00:19:07.605 --> 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