So you run around screaming and on fire.
The second you rolled that, my malware fights gave me a push notification.
Man, I f***ing hate it here.
My Phyllis will look to you and say, where is your brother now?
I think that Bethel sucks.
Don't, don't flip that.
You know, we'll start with that. Hey, everybody.
Hi everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Warhams, a chaos odyssey.
so you know i had to actively have a battle with the mind dragon to not say chaos theory
there i felt it i felt it in the brain stem coming through and it's like i'm coming to say
and then there's we gotta call the next campaign
oh oh we had to help easy out uh you know with clapping and stuff okay everyone randomly clap
in different intervals begin good luck anyway welcome back everyone to another
no it's so good to see everybody today hope everyone had an absolutely lovely time with
all the press of those thank you guys for your support by the way but of course if you enjoy
all these episodes and really want to help us out you know pay all the players artists
game masters everything else you can go to narrative declaration.com where you can find
all sorts of ways to support us uh but of course i think we had some exciting stuff
last time thurston did we yes what's going on where am i
who are you people uh don't worry i'm the dude just tell me if the chain is too tight so
uh one thing that happened after surveying our drop point we saw that the conflag is the
conflagration marines is that right i'm saying the conflag wrong conflagration conflagration marines
were landed down sorry i just i when making the naming asset i did the mistake every time
it's a big word it's a big word we forgive you they're down on to the planet's surface and we
saw their thunder hawk pot part after declaring that that's now going to be ours we swiftly
landed a bit of ways and began to approach them and their soldiers the kindling after a fearsome
firefight after lifo is pretty much the skeleton death uh steph is blowing up vast majority of
them with a grenade launcher evgeny trying and come on man we're trying and by zante basically
obliterating several marines with his awesome rock solos uh we then saw bethiel be the only
marine that we could trust to rush forward and stop one of those marines getting to their
thunderhawk and turning that around on us and obliterating us all and i think last time we
left off we saw bethiel getting just on that thunderhawk still on fire potentially close to
death this dog is on fire it's uh it's about right yeah um and we're gonna cut just to bethiel
oh yeah yeah of course of course you know we're just gonna you know come i i think it makes sense
you know focusing a little bit the camera sort of pans away to you bethiel um so can you um
you know what we're not even we're not even going to give you an option here one sec
let's uh come on now let's do this let's do this cool okay all right
you're rolling it for me okay well you're gonna take 10 points of fire damage that ignores your
armor oh jesus christ uh however it doesn't ignore your toughness so i think you're still actually
you take no damage from that so that's good but you will take another level of fatigue
so please mark yourself up yep yep i believe i'm at two
uh where where is my little fatigue thing oh i'm now at three levels of fatigue actually i
lied i'm a liar perfect i like that can you also give me a um challenging willpower test
so plus zero willpower
do I get any infamy back
you know cause we're at the start of a new
session
I mean if you'd like to use one of your points to get
a plus a plus ten to this
certainly you can
I yeah I'd like
to
I'll take the chance of it being a coin
flip
alright corn
come on
man
oh my glob that is a 91 for five degrees of failure that's good you run around inside the
thunder hawk screaming and on fire um yeah all you can do this round is run around the walls here
are taking up your vision one thing you know that is also going to be annoying to contend with
though you don't quite realize this in your fugue of anger but but player odo would notice this
is that whatever the canny like pilot is when they came inside they closed the internal bay door
so you are still gonna have to open a door at some point um once you manage to regain your senses
um but you are you can stop me from opening a door yeah yeah you're gonna run around um
you you basically don't um don't get to try to put the fire out either you just run around on fire
all right hey hey odo up that fatigue again for me oh my god thanks we're at four now
i like that that's fun um you want to give me another challenging willpower test
no
well you're gonna give me another challenging
power test
another infamy
another one
hey odo
just to add suspense
so people can wait for the roll
can I point out a thing
if that's okay
can I tism a book thing
on page 247 of fatigue
i just want to point out the layout of this right there's fatigue there's a paragraph then there's
an image yeah and then you would assume in a book you would be like i'm torturing the listeners
because they just want to know what this role is uh and then you want to go down the next page
you assume it could finish off fatigue and then go out to some other information no no it's a
little paragraph it gets cut off there's an image and then one two three four five six seven eight
pages go by of charts
and then it continues
fatigue and then it finishes
the paragraph then it
continues it
what the fuck happened
that's incredible
I love the black crusade book
it's a perfect book there are no
problems with it anyway Thurston
do I roll to die
do I roll to die
you see
if you you roll
to see if you can control yourself
while on fire.
Okie dokie, artichokie.
That's better than rolling to die.
Challenging willpower.
Guys, do I spend the second infamy?
Do I spend the second infamy for 10% more?
Is it worth it?
How much?
Yeah, I would say so.
Are you badass enough to save the president?
Yeah.
you have to spend resources when things don't go well that's another
what's the number i think you've lost the favor
oh corn's done he's done with me he's gonna get the fuck out of here that is
Everyone wants your blood.
That is a...
Who is this pup?
Listeners, that is a 94 for five degrees of family.
Bethael, you continue running around screaming,
this time managing to slam your fists onto the door,
but, like, not understanding how to operate the door at this point
because you are on fire.
The music here is perfect, by the way.
Oh, God.
okay you're gonna take another point of fatigue okay so what happens when i hit five
okay so what is your current toughness uh my current toughness is uh 54 cool if you suffer
levels of fatigue in excess of your toughness bonus then you will collapse so you get one
more attempt and then i have to spend the term the turn rolling around the ground
if you
if you succeed
yes
and even then that's only
a chance
there's only a chance so don't
mess up I'm glad that you made a character
that's a boy failure
I know it's
hashtag equality we got girl failures
we got boy failures
next campaign I'll make them failure
everybody gets to fail
alright that's what I like to hear
failure
Thank you, speaker.
Let's see if your roll goes higher
than a 94 this time.
Let's see if you can count up.
If I hit 100, I think I'd just die.
I think I'd just
explode
in a shower of gore.
Are you going to spend that infamy
to give yourself a 10%?
I've already spent two.
I don't have any more.
Oh.
I would spend it.
I would spend it.
Oh, I already have, is the problem.
Yes, he's, yeah.
All right, well.
Law.
One more try.
Bethael is going to be screaming, flaming,
pounding on the door.
At this point, more animal instinct than he is man.
Oh, my God.
I think you needed that a while ago.
well you wouldn't have succeeded
well it still wouldn't have made it
it still wouldn't have made it
Zoran T-Wizard
I scrolled up and I did math
I'm like oh yeah
if I could direct your attention
to the two rolls that I made
um six days and eight hours
ago um those
were my rolls for the backup
character
ah I see
just just make sure we had a record make sense to me okay uh so thurston what happens what happens
now um well so you will fall unconscious gotcha for a number of minutes equal to 10
minus your toughness bonus so you will fall unconscious for five minutes
okay so a little power nap
you remain on fire
during this
one sec
I think I take damage if they
roll a 10
because I have a 9 toughness
right
yeah so one sec
are you still a tough guy
if you're unconscious
this is
I'm a big buff boy
even if I'm taking a little bit of power
oh that's a lot that's a lot how many tens one two three four five six
will i have good news okay i was at three wounds okay so let's like what oh yeah i haven't even
got to the bad part yet um all right all right all right all right energy body all right
oh no there's tearing and glee is terrible
the energy in this case the fire scorches over your body with four and third degree
burns and inflicting 1d10 levels of fatigue oh what's a little more i'm so sleepy is that good
Oh, man, it's so hot in here.
I thought it was going to be a little bit hot in here.
Okay, only two.
One sec, one sec.
One sec, there's another thing that I was looking for.
Oh, yeah, lay it on me.
Okay, then we're going to come back to the party.
Okay.
Episode title, Thirstin' Kicks Me in the Dick.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
okay um that's pretty good um pretty good it's pretty good um okay so
um looks like i have to google something that's a good sign scared so uh zorn how much uh how
much does it cost you for a new uh character portrait i mean
Yeah, I hope, I hope you budgeted for Odo's failure.
You're a cost to me money, Odo.
Okay, so.
Bethael's brother, Shnephia.
We cut back to the heretical band and Evgeny.
who
mop up the remains
of the endless conflagration
and the kindling troops
the pitched battle
comes to an end
the area suffused with flames
suffused with
poisonous clouds
the scorches of
lasgun burns
on the sides of rocks for the most part
and
the
crush impact zones
of noise.
That is when you hear
the revving
and the turbines of
the Thunderhawk
as the endless conflagration
Thunderhawk gingerly
lifts
and ascends.
You all watch this.
Byzantine, yes?
Byzantine sees
this knows exactly what this means looks at lithos you can get me on that thunderhawk i
really will start calling you the greatest wizard
but well one sec this happens pretty quickly there's another thing that's very fair by
sandy can you give me an awareness test and since it's visual based you can use your little aspects
this will be um at minus 10 minus 10 so plus 20 and i get to reroll that is a six
seven degrees of success can i have i want to know where beth i want to i want to see i want
to set the scene here this thunderhawk is taking over this like charred wasteland of poisonous
this bog and flame,
at the edge of this immense,
like, bottomless crater.
Byzantine, you look up,
see this happening.
You turn to Lifos.
You make your statement
that if Lifos can get you up there,
that he will be considered
the greatest sorcerer of all time.
So then you look back in time to see
the side hatch of the Thunderhawk open.
Oh, no.
that's good right well and as you're like as you're as you're you know magnoculars zoom in
just enough your eyesight um you see you see what appears to be flames um and what like in the rough
approximation of an astartes um then you see two other astartes who kind of like do like a little
lean and lift like you know they're picking up a log to throw out
i think i can tell what's happening here
oh my god and then you see falling out the side door of this ascending thunder hawk
is a flaming comet descending towards the surface now you now rewind a little bit listeners
i had to figure out what the common operating altitude of roughly like
a helicopter is to get a sense of how many meters up it would be at this point
okay so i'm gonna be nice and say it's about like it's only a hundred meters up when this happens
now then i had to cross reference this with the black crusade rules for falling
my smile instantly falls oh no this is a no no this is a fantasy flight game warhammer system
wait wait wait wait wait allow me to read this allow me to read this everyone just so you can
all be on the same page as me characters can fall off things for all manner of reasons
those results are usually the same to work out damage from falling simply i want to underscore
or bold italicize the word
simply roll
1d10
and add a plus one
per meter the character fell
use the hit
location to determine
which part of the body hits
the ground first armor
offers no protection against
this damage from falling is
impact damage
so
um
one sec one sec
we're good we're good um can you do me a little little pog favor here can you roll me 1d 100
oh i'd love to i'd love to i'd love to do that for you thanks thank you 80 as one last tradition
it's the core as is tradition for our campaigns
our game so far the universe hates your right leg
location of prophecy oh my god his right leg is a pile of goo at that height your right leg is
about to fucking burst into baby powder bro so let's read the 1d 10 plus 100 that's gonna be a
10 plus critical effect on the leg um uh-huh oh hey look on the same page there's rules for lost
limbs oh that's great let's let's let's go through this um okay um so so i'm gonna read the the the
the important part here the hit rips apart the flesh of the leg causing blood to spray out in
all directions even as the target tries futilely to stop the sudden flood of vital fluid he falls
to the ground and dies in a spreading pool of gore now that's nine but but ten has a it's one
of those as above caveats so i wanted to read nine first oh as above but such is the agony of
the target's death that his piteous screams drown out all conversation within 2d 10 meters for the
rest of the round i need another now no ollie ollie um now beth i am um just gonna just gonna
pull up another page here maybe maybe something we've had to use before here oh hit me with a
table all right so so you know you have infamy right you know you can use i love the slurping
delicious all right um so you know you've got infamy you can use it to survive death did you
know that oh i did know that i did know that yay so whenever a heretic is killed whether he suffers
critical damage that results in death or dies by some other means in a game of black crusade
instead of dying he can permanently reduce his infamy characteristic by a set amount to avoid
death this represents the heretic avoiding his fate due to stat due to the skills and abilities
that made him so infamous in the first
place. In this case, I just
imagine it would be Bethael's sheer
spite.
However, the infamy is
permanently reduced.
So,
roll me
10 plus 1d10.
10 plus
1. Okay.
1d10.
So 1d10 plus 10 is what he meant to say.
Yeah.
Sorry, in the
in the book in the book it's 10 plus it says it that way 10 plus i'm reading for the book
correct oh ouch my god you have gotta be fucking with me
oh what's like oh that kills me
i bet it does kills you like i mean okay so
uh this kills the coordinate oh this kills the coordinate okay so you are i want to see the
full result before i make a proposal you're going to take 20 points of infamy loss permanent loss
to your infamy score.
Yup!
And can you do me
one more favor?
Yeah, there's one.
Can you
roll me
one d10 again?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I got you.
Another one.
That's a three.
You'll also get three corruption.
Oh, great!
See, it's not all bad.
Oh, great!
Yeah, maybe you'll get another scorpion tail, and twirl them like tails, and fly!
Oh my god! And that, next time, I won't die from fall damage!
That's true, you'll be immune to fall damage!
That's right, that's how VTOL works, or VTOL Corn Berserker.
Alright! Okay, so I'm down to six, infamy.
Remember your totals, because I'm going to propose something.
I'm waiting until you're fully done.
My bad.
You come crashing down to the earth,
your right leg somehow leading the way,
splintering and smashing.
You fall on the ground, shaking.
Still aflame, by the way.
Oh, naturally, naturally.
Yeah.
and um your allies see this you are you are completely unconscious
long enough for you to scream long enough to let out this like immediate scream which as you do and
as you land all of the flames on the ground here immediately wink out like there's some sonic
concussion boom um as you hit ground and cause all of the flames here to that was a hard fall
jesus all of them yeah all right what did the rest of you do seeing seeing this uh descent
well is everything in our way dead oh yes oh yes i didn't want to uh interrupt the whole thing
you got a thing to do go ahead um i wanted to try to do mind over matter to try to either stop or
slow the descent see if i could save bethiel so the coronate owes the zinc guy a favor
you know that does actually make sense that that was something that i had already told you to
prepare to think about okay but only if only if thurston thinks so there is a problem with this
there is a problem i don't think you're going to have bethiel land within 30 meters of you
which is the range of it even at like your max i right oh that that would be pretty rough yeah
yeah that is true i don't know maybe make an agility to like it's not like this thing took
off perfectly by you i mean we've been running at it you know like narrative overall charge and
through we got through them got up there i mean there um okay um here because i i know where
you're going would you like to i would like to propose a role of like some role to say did i
even make it there and if i didn't nothing happens oh one sec i have another question
Bethael, how much do you weigh?
Uh, my size is hulking.
So I don't I don't know what that counts as.
One sec. Yeah, I know.
I'm probably pushing like 400 pounds.
Which, yeah, what's your what's your max psi rating?
You can, like, push this too.
If I could push it because I don't know the size of a space marine.
So it's like I'm going to figure out some stuff.
I just need to know from you what the
the push amount would be three.
a total siren of six yeah so legion power armor on its own is a hundred kilograms
well so i don't think i mean here's what i'll allow here's what i'll i mean no matter what
this will kill beth i like like theoretically like the infamy and stuff has to be spent there's
there's no way you're gonna like get her out however however i will let you make a check
that if you succeed will cause the leg not to be completely destroyed okay that's something at least
would you like me to cast mind over matter for it or do a separate thing
no it might never matter yeah okay then do full-on push on three oh let me make sure i'm
not cheating because i think it's adding a thing that's not supposed to let me check yeah i got
that yep so i focus test yep yep yep i'm good it's it's it's all good baby it's good
i think i got this unless i roll like over 95 don't don't say that don't say that don't say
don't say it 81 for four degrees really funny the second the second you rolled that zoran
yes sir my malware bites gave me a push notification
it's all connected well it's probably from the psychic phenomena uh let's see banshee owl a
shrill keening rings out across the immediate area shattering glass and forcing every mortal
creature able to hear it including the psycher to pass a challenging toughness test or be deafened
for 1d10 rounds i will never forgive you for this things are about to get loud dude
Alright, let's all roll our toughness test.
I got you, I got you.
And I'll ask your name to go down the line once we roll it all.
Oh no.
Oh, I passed this one!
Well, you're also not nearby.
Are you?
Yeah, I think you're fine. I mean, near enough for the- might never matter.
Oh, as I said.
Let me roll for Cephas first.
I guess it makes sense that I would fail depending on Deliphos.
Uh.
get base boosted why is my tough excuse me yeah why is your toughness 39 that's not right yeah
uh skip leg day wait everybody's is 39 yeah oh is that your toughness you're rolling my toughness
for some reason we are all life there we go pass that mark now just go to your seat and roll it
Okay. That's what it was there.
Okay.
I am become Lyphos.
Oh, I still fail.
I do.
Oh, now this time I fail.
That's bullshit.
No!
Yvgeny!
Okay.
How can you keep rolling hundreds?
Yvgeny is permanently deaf.
Hold on.
We have one more person to roll against here.
Yeah, then we can announce it all.
Oh, I gotta roll this.
I need to see 30.
Okay.
I think my dice are broken.
Your dice are okay.
75.
No, she's deafened, too.
Okay.
Byzantine, what did you get?
I've got a 59, meaning that I failed by two degrees.
Cephas?
Isn't that sad?
I got an 82, which means I failed by two degrees.
Yevgeny?
Yevgeny?
She can't hear you, man.
Well, since she can't hear me, I don't know.
Evgeny rolled a hundred for eight degrees of failure.
We're having a rough day here in Chaos World.
Lucitrix rolled a 75 for, I assume, like five to six degrees of failure.
Five degrees of failure.
Bethael rolled.
I rolled a 51 for one degree of success.
So of all the things that have just happened to me,
I can still hear.
How many is 1D10 around?
Let's find out.
Probably five.
30 seconds.
What is that?
Pointless.
30 seconds.
No, no, no, it's not pointless.
It's not pointless because none of you can communicate
as the Bethael comet lands.
what looking like that fucking dragon ball z image you know it uh-huh his life as i guess as uh
by xanthic like give me up to that he's like there's no time and he raises up a hand and
tries to do whatever psychic might he can to try to uh stop bethiel but it's like
I imagine it's just a crater
thing of dust and everything else
and
I assume we're all just walking up
and Leif also kind of
look to Byzantine and go
well at least the fall
was broken but
I do believe our
cornete is
perhaps expired
I cannot
I can't hear you
your infernal psychic shriek
has overloaded my ears
Lyphos looks at Byzante
are you saying anything
I can't hear you
Lyphos
kind of turns everybody else and like does
like that two hand pointing over things
like what the fuck is this guy's problem
Cephas is like pointing at his
own ear you can see Lucitrix is like
rubbing the sides of her temples and
like irritation at whatever is probably ringing through her ears and cephas is just walking
forward and ushering his attendant along and i'm looking for you genny oh we're just saying
we're gonna make fun of me for not having ears oh the deafness passes
uh i i will say that psychically the thing that deafened you all was like the psychically
augmented screams of Beth-I-El
falling. Come on now.
Yeah, that makes sense. Come on now.
I can't believe you just leave my tunes Beth-I-El.
Oh, I sure
fucking did. God RP.
God RP. Loud as fuck
Tom and Jerry yell.
True.
I can't do that. The neighbors are gonna
complain.
Thank you, thank you.
Perfect.
I suppose if none of you
are listening to me, I'll
just go ahead and tell you
all of my secrets. Oh, we can hear again.
Voice down. I can hear you
just fine.
Most excellent.
I was worried for a second.
Wasn't there something
that we were all thinking about before all of
this happened? Bethio, which
we need to go check on to see if he has
truly expired. And the
Thunderhawk! And yes, Bethio.
You see, Cephas will
point into the sky at the
Thunderhawk, presumably. It is like
It's like a tiny pinprick that's just, like, gone into the heavens.
Thunderhawk.
Oh! Bet I will have to answer for that one.
Uh, like... Is he even still alive?
Do we have real communication to the ship? I hope so.
Aboard the lander, yes. We need to tend to our brother first.
Well, by Zanty, didn't you pick up an entire squadron of fighters?
intercepting that Thunderhawk in the middle of the air
with our only reserves of troops going up against fellow Astartes.
To be clear, to be clear, there were no fighters in that.
It was just a bunch of troop carriers.
Yes.
We're going to have to ask for a taxi.
At best, we could get a very eclectic boarding party put together
that would then all immediately get squashed by the conflagration.
Oh, well, I tried.
We'll get our prize.
But I can't believe it slipped through our fingers.
Gany's gonna walk over to...
Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.
No, Gany's gonna walk over to Bethael's smoldering possible corpse
while the rest of the Astartes are bickering.
Bethael?
Bethael, are you alive?
Speak to me, damn it!
I believe you remain unconscious.
Let's check here.
What are the rules for falling 100 feet?
The rules for falling 100 feet are ooh, owie, ooh, owie.
It's more the, okay, so you're definitely not doing that one.
You're doing the 10 plus 1d10.
Um, you can interact, but you are basically crippled and bedridden for the best the rest of this session.
Oh, my God.
And because I am a GM who follows the rules, that will be this session.
Oh, okay.
You start the session being ejected from it.
Yep.
You can still interact.
you just can't do anything beyond interact like i assume your head can move a little bit right now
and you can talk i mean if they like carry you around i'll let you interact that way can i do
a medic you're so magnanimous the bleeding thurston oh there's no bleeding oddly oh it's
all cauterized yeah i don't anyway i feel like i'm doing something sure he's his leg exploded
i gotta help just yeah sure give me give me uh give me a minus 20 medicaid check
i didn't want to do that hang on a second medicaid minus 20. no i rolled a 69 nice
degree of failure i think a 69 should be an auto pass in my opinion auto piss
Well, I have fantastic news, Evgeny.
Bethael continues to live.
He has managed to continue on the upward trend of the wheel,
rather than on the underside of it.
The downside...
And he will casually motion to the obliterated leg.
Oh, cock in hell.
We will need to spirit him away soon,
so we can get him to recover.
We better take him to our resident apothecary.
How are we going to breach Atma without any sort of re-breather for me?
We're going to simply-
We will simply-
Sorry, the most interesting question,
as like all the space marines look at the mortal.
I wish you could hold your breath.
We're going- what I'm going to propose is we call our ship
and have them send a troop transport to pick us up
we're just gonna have to slow boat it
we can't go chasing anyone right now
because we're literally we we got bamboozled
but we can get out of here
i just gotta i agree
we just gotta drop what we're doing
mifos will turn to byzade
i just want you to have the ship thing
and he turns and says like
can you call for a troop transport to pick up our dead weight
oh damn oh skeleton boy there you go sorry you took a bit my bad sorry about that i i
it took me a second to register that was uh to byzantium for some reason
oh i can certainly call them we should at this point have scorned i think do we have
any more business on this rock plenty we're not ready for it yet yeah you you were going
into the pit remember that was remember the thunderhawk was like a secondary objective
you turned into your primary yeah that is true i do tend to do that
and i will um do i have a radio contact with the ship uh a voxcom yeah you could try to try a voxcom
this is by zante to the carcass come in carcass all right so you're gonna have to do this uh from
the arbus though um that's the only thing that'll have a good enough uh push now let me double check
care um can you give me by zanti a tech use check at plus 10 you got it um i would like to note that
before we get here by zanti is going to insist on stripping the fucking space marines of everything
that they're worth including their uh if we can haul the space marine bodies back by zanti wants
the fucking gene seed
yeah
absolutely you can like
I mean as long as any of your
allies like agree to help you
move them then sure
I think
that given what has happened
to
he's okay what happened to Beth
Isle Cephas is
recognizing that Beth Isle is not in
a condition where he's going to die
so looting seems like
a very prudent thing
so yeah absolutely okay very good um you mentioned one of the marines was unconscious now
uh no you you've slain them all as part okay they fought on till death one of them had the
heavy flamer but you blew up the heavy flamer as part of your your attack so um yeah yeah you do
have a bunch of bolt pistols, bolters
so it's enough for you to
scrounge three Astartes bolters
three Astartes bolt pistols
three Astartes combat
knives and like
mishmash bits of power armor
I want to ask an
inquiry Thurston
what is the state of
the guardsmen equipment
so that we can potentially see what
they might have to disperse between
our two guardsmen equivalent units
uh yes so between them they were equipped primarily with up here um auto guns just
standard stock auto guns uh black jackets and you are able to scrounge from the masses which
i never got to use on you because i was desperately hoping i could just double down
two flamers hey very nice they are human-sized flamers hey
You're a unit, not a model
You upgraded
You're a special weapons trooper now
What does that mean?
I hand you the Warhammer
40k rulebook, just read that
And then follow up
reading that with the rules for precision shot
Good boy
What the fuck is this?
It's just a book, don't worry about it
She's trying very hard not to look at the section
about minions
Oh, sorry, that's the same shit. Give me that.
Oh, wait, hold on.
Or actually, do you want to see?
Do you want to know?
Do you want to know?
Uh, so Thurston.
Mm-hmm.
Could I take one of those?
It's not a hand flamer, it is just, like, a flamer.
Yeah, a flamer.
Fascinating.
May I add one of those
to Lucitrix's inventory along with an
autogun? Absolutely.
Terrific.
Where the fuck do I put all this shit?
She has no...
I hate this. Whatever. It's fine. I'll just
put it here. She's got no pot
paper, and she has
no bitches. Very
sad. She has three guns,
and none of them are very good against
marines. And yes,
they smoke weed.
they smoked they were roommates they were smoked um i assume like life those things looting is
beyond him he's like whatever i have i'm already perfect i don't need anything else
so he lets all of them do it it's grunt work to him right yeah yeah absolutely bethel is
unconscious right or no oh very much well well sorry can like wake up to basically interact
with you because remember remember you're still allowed to interact with the players so like
Bethael's head can kind of like swivel and there can be like gargling talk coming out I'm gonna
just continue to torment Odo with this all session carry on. Lyphos to everyone we're like
you all enjoy finding me I will. Lyphos we'll we'll be we'll just kneel by Bethael you know
staff in hand and stuff in and wait for them all to leave um i will uh grab the bolt pistols and
i also will grab one of the bodies of the space marines and just carry it over my shoulders
okay i'm going to look at cephas cephas do the same we want to make sure our apothecary has a
full of stock. Very well. Evgeny.
Yes, Cephis?
You and my attendant can also take a corpse. Just drag it by the leg.
It should be, you could take the one that is uh...
He's going to look over the the corpses to see which one has had the most limbs
blasted off of it. Probably the heavy flamer.
Um, you and her can take that one. I will take this one, as he will haul another
space marine corpse over his shoulder of course sir come on lucy
again he'll try and hoist this armored corpse and pull along towards the ship you guys are
just taking the flamer over him just dragging a big corpse by his legs up
uh it's not much but it's a living sir
uh it's so heavy you could hear multiple like popping sounds from her arms as she is pulling
this thing now lift lock your shoulder blades behind your back that's the way to do it
brace yourself what what are you skin and bones she turns to you and you can see like her normal
like the
rictus grin that came from her basically
having her skin so tan
to her head is just
like she is trying very hard to frown
at you right now yes
oh
you've got any other she pulls i'm not saying
anymore all right go ahead life
post we're all busy you can you can
lord over beth isle now oh
goody and of course odo i know you
gave me consent before oh yippee of course
yeah if i ever do anything you don't like you
just max card me we'll just change the scene
no you're all good you're good i obviously want to ask permission regardless always um
twisting your head off oh yeah just killing you actually not not me though you fall you
fucking fall right out of that thunderhawk on fire
lifeos uh you know after seeing his companions leave he'll kind of look down at bethiel and go
oh my and he'll he'll kind of see the states of bethiel and i assume bethiel's face is like
burned and bloodied and
messed up yeah he manages
still at least to like grimace
and like bare the
teeth and just kind of
he'll wave a hand
uh over Bethael and I'd like
to basically do like some offhand
magic stuff to be like just clean
Bethael's face up a little bit get all
the grime and everything off off
so just just just
do that a little bit but like
intentionally with magic just to be
an asshole yeah okay yeah yeah i'm that cool um roll me apparels oh my god no oh i'll roll a mind
over matter i mean okay i'm just saying corn doesn't like this stuff corn doesn't like
i apologize for going against you um i'm sorry god i'm sorry sorry psychic phenomenon but
but you'll roll i'm sorry anyways so it's fine yeah let me let me do this real quick let me just
do this for all this rolling mattering at all just to get to get the button
oh yeah there you go shadow of the warp okay for a split second the world changes in appearance
and everyone within 1d 1d 100 meters has a brief but horrific glimpse of the shadow of the warp
everyone in the area including the striker must make a difficult minus 10 willpower test
or gain 1d5 corruption points i love this because i want to turn this into the situation that's
happening also don't click that button by the way uh that's my my thing so you might want to delete
right click delete that i uh i failed okay okay okay oh you want to keep your role or well whatever
thurston allows you i just want to say that don't click that button because it rolls mine can i can
Can I keep that roll, Thurston, and fail?
Yeah, of course.
Thank you.
First of all, first of all, he has to roll.
First of all, first of all, Zoran, you have to roll the 1d100
because you could just affect, like, you and Bethael.
One meter away.
Yeah, we got to see the range.
Exactly, exactly.
Funny enough, just 30.
Honestly, they could just not see the range.
I am going to say, I am going to say that everyone but Lucitrix
and Yevgeny who are struggling
over their one
are so far
away that all the
marines are going to take this but
not the two humans
okay
is it my intervals of five
that the corruption thresholds happen
wait I want to clarify
because I'm not maybe I'm viewing the
scene incorrectly where is
and Bethael are they at the
lander I assume you've brought
them to the lander because you said you were you said you were bringing okay the way you were
making that sound it was like ah because bethiel is still in his fucking crater no no no you've
got bethiel to the lander where byzante's doing the tech check oh okay i'm sorry that would have
been really funny to me it's like well you see uh i mean i mean lyphos decided to to cast a spell
and now the two guardsmen
who are dragging their heels, hauling
a corpse bag. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
So, so rewinding though,
I did hear that you were taking Bethael
to the lander, but if no one ever did take
Bethael to the lander,
then it would be the two humans.
Walk home, clown!
Yeah, then never mind. It's Evgeny
and fucking Lucitrix
who have to, and Bethael
and, yeah, yeah. By Zanty,
that role doesn't even matter anymore.
Get it out of here.
oh you and me are away because we're strong yeah yeah what no i would listen by zanti would want
maybe carrying a dead body but he is going to want to taunt and torment bethael i would argue
by zanti would be close enough to have to roll for this all right all right everyone but seppis
who is a dutiful nurgle servant who is doing his fucking job can make me the role tiny tiny
I fucking thank you, Speaker. That's awesome.
That's awesome.
I'm a good boy.
I'm a good boy.
Nurgle loves me.
Alright, fine. I'm rolling willpower.
Oh, Christ. Uh, hey, Thurston.
Oh, yeah? Oh, dope.
You said this is a minus ten?
Uh, yeah. Difficult.
Minus ten, yeah. Lucy fails instantly.
Perfect.
Yeah! She has one willpower.
Okay. Let me, let me go down
down the line wait wait wait wait a one thing i will say when you roll corruption zorn yes roll
the d5 per person not one and done okay well when i ask someone's name i'll do the roll for sure
all right uh by zanti uh what uh comparing to your willpower what did you roll
i rolled a uh let's see on the dice i rolled a 63 and that would be three degrees of failure
awesome you gain four corruption yeah i got i go from eight to twelve okay oh my god all right
let's put an asterisk on that let's let's put an asterisk on that uh let's see beth i l got a
i got a 30 and my target was 30 i succeeded yeah you're good you're good
lifeboats got a 99
for three degrees of failure
so I will get
a
three putting me
at eight
nine to eleven I'm at eleven
now oh okay
put an asterisk on that we'll come back to it
get into there I honestly
I want to I have something in mind
I would love to turn this into
the chaos gods are fortnight
dancing over us they're just like
This is the funniest shit that ever happened.
Next up was...
I know Lucitrix auto-failed.
Alright, I'll roll a d5.
We'll see.
Yeah, you can roll if you want to.
Okay, let's see what happens to my fucking mignon.
I don't know if corruption even matters for her.
But you bet she'll get two.
I'll mark that somewhere.
I'll test something.
Oh, I've been fucking up here.
No, I am not at 11.
i'm at one two no because every time i click that thing it automatically added it to the
sheet so i've been rolling for every once i got everyone's corruption it's okay i can i can get
it figured out he's so hungry i'm hungry i would be at three six i think yes uh i would be at six
corruption i remember right okay so no asterix then yeah no asterix for me um and you've getting
You rolled a fellowship.
We're sorry, because I wanted that to happen.
And you've given me what you do roll.
I rolled a fellowship instead of willpower.
Hold on, let me check it out.
It's difficult at minus 10.
It'll fail either way, I'm sure.
Oh, I believe in you.
My bad.
I said it wrong.
That's a 49 against a 30.
Because I don't have a fucking regular guy.
You shall get three corruption.
Of course I will.
What's up with you at, buddy?
14.
Okay, cool.
i already got my uh thing last time that's true that's true but i think uh for you it's 10 20 40
60 whereas yeah yeah yeah yeah so so just making sure you aren't at 20 yet okay cool uh my chair
swivels to byzanti hi there hey buddy hey boss so yeah yup yup so um gonna get a gift of the gods
but it is so excited it is coming from a fail which is important to note um we'll we'll come
back to that um but you know just just just keep that in mind uh let's double check something here
okay um you may not modify this with your infamy and okay yeah it is bad because you got this from
a failure um so uh and you cannot attempt to generate a reward if you are yeah okay so
i need you to roll me 1d 100 all right let's rock that is 10 this might be one of the most
appropriate sounding things ever also horrifying um blood substitution fuck yeah
something other than blood pumps through the character's veins um the exact nature is little
relevance when it happens um should you ever be wounded and suffer damage that leads to
blood loss uh one randomly determined character within a meter takes 1d10 impact damage unless
they make an agility test um oh yeah yeah never mind and for you it won't even be impact damage
it's gonna be tearing damage um because now as you mock as you mock the servant of the blood god
the blood god decides you aren't worthy of having blood anymore you now have acid
and yes you have a new agony as you are eternally filled with acid
yes i feel a sublime change
uh one side give me a little give me a little power test yeah sure sure sure a minus 10 of
course right yeah of course of course here we go that's a 35 you can't tell these people you
you don't you don't you there's no change you're fine i have as you're screaming i have many
secrets as the acid like burns inside of you i'm just imagining imagining by zanti sitting
there screaming but he's got his mouth whatever it qualifies for mouth closed and going it's so good
like he ate a lemon from the simpsons yes exactly all right um now don't get something cooler than
they well no one's getting any mutations oh it's just you yeah someone else was no no no uh every
time i clicked the button it kept adding to my corruption total so i was getting all of yours
which was incorrect so watch no way i wanted to roll with you man i'm glad i didn't get blasted
senses that would have been bad yeah i would only get it unless thurston just goes like yeah you
age to get more corruption fuck you like this is what you get um let's make sure everyone
yeah that's stupid you're not getting that keep going what was it
she's a tail yeah i don't want that if it was another one oh you got pseudo demonhood
but don't worry we're skipping it oh yeah yeah i like okay i like that corns is a scorpion tail
the zeech one is you just get basically like a prehensile dexterous tail it just acts like a
normal arm i'm not giving you an extra arm you get an arm on your ass yeah you get a butt arm
fuck you i'm not gonna pre-roll this but i want to see what would happen if my crappy minion got
one one second what's the table again d100 d100 i got it up what would happen if my minion got
60 28 dark soul what the fuck you're you're like dark souls dark souls uh they gain fear one
um what yeah and when facing renegades lost colonists or anyone beyond the imperium's
boundaries their fear is one higher oh that's so funny given what she is
she'd just be like why are you guys so why are you guys so afraid of me why are you screaming
what's going on uh-huh all right well it's just a explosion of like random like corruption colored
magic behind Sev as he just, like, stops for a second
and turns like, what the fuck?
And I assume Bethany and I can only
just grunt at me or whatever, right?
Like, you're just so messed up, you're gonna, like,
at me.
I thought she could interact with you.
I can interact, I can
speak. I didn't know what the range
of interact, because some of the other context
was other stuff, but
Life Elves will go
like, what?
I learn, hid behind
In their safety, of course they send the blood gods chosen to do every bit of dirty work.
I learn, I learn that you will bleed one day, just as I did, no longer.
Just a bit.
I would like to cast compel, but in a narrative sense.
It's mostly because I'm focusing on the part of compel that says the psyker reaches into
the target's mind uh mostly for this to turn it to more of a narrative type of deal do you mind
for that modification or well what are you what are you trying to do what's what's the narrative
basically bringing bethiel into a sort of mindscape in terms of using that corruption
stuff that was happening to be him in putting more zincian-like influence upon bethiel
um and having a whole kind of scene with that yeah you know what sure uh so there's a couple
things um one you're gonna make it a posed willpower test excellent do i get any bonuses
because i got butcher's nails uh not quite but it's just gonna be a post so both of both of you
just roll straight uh minus 10 willpower tests i minus 10 oh i rolled bad 83 well i rolled worse
97 oh my god dude
can always count on you oh no
thanks for rolling with the bit
oh yeah you can describe the mindscape you rip beth isle's mind into excellent
and i'll let you role play this lionfels will put a hand on uh beth isle's forehead which i
assume beth isle reacts to as he begins to send your mind body and soul uh into another
skate basically he definitely tries to snap at him with the teeth like trying to bite down on
his hand as you try to bite down on his hand i assume like he see that he kind of bites one of
his fingers or so and as if he could grimace at you he takes his hand and grabs the top part of
your jaw his thumb just pressing into your forehead as he grabs onto you that way and goes
like and goes like let's take a trip shall we and then it basically everything works through
and life host wants to present to you basically prospero like he's in the you're in a teaching
hall you're sitting at like as if one of the students desks there and you see someone who
basically like normal kind of like like sass robes kind of like roman like unfortunately i don't know
the right culture for prospero uh but he pretty much egypt egypt thank you uh more like egypt
more like an egypt yeah like deal thank you for correcting me and you see that this man walks up
to you like he has long hair looks looks extremely beautiful for what he is but every single time he
kind of like you get a glimpse at him you see that like a bit of his face seems to like burn away and
you see a bit of skull and it goes back every so often as he sits down uh pretty much in front of
you in another chair and goes i can't even be mad this is sick as fuck and goes like you have so
much rage inside of you beth i am i don't understand why someone would choose that type
path but it seems
you've been suffering for a while
and I sympathize
I've seen a lot of people
suffer throughout
my life and he looks outside
and you see drop pods coming down
explosions happening
in the distance but for some reason
this room is quiet
it's serene
as if like a nice
breeze is flowing through as
curtains on the windows begin to flow
I was like
what has brought you here Bethael
brought me here
what do you mean
the path you were set on
how you became to be one of the ascended
you got the nails to your head
tell me how it happened
Bethael is going to
grit his teeth
squeeze his eyes shut
and search his memory
the fragmented bits of it that remain from especially the time before he got the nails
as you do so he sees mirror prisms and shards kind of begin to fall down like snowflakes
and you see lifeless will start looking around and as you try to piece it together
he sees where you focus and tries to help you by basically grabbing those fragments as if
he's searching through your mind as well through the spell and begins to kind of like ting
And starts placing them on the desk in front of you, as if forming, like, basically, you know, like a, like a puzzle piece, basically, is forming the image in front of you, as he begins to try to help you.
I remember a nothing world, a nothing world of snow-capped mountain and rolling hills.
I remember dark home shared with a mother and elder brother.
We lived beneath the yoke of lords we scarcely saw on their white horses and their fine clothes.
Everything we had to give and more.
I remember hunger's bite.
i remember slow simmering rage i remember a boy who could do nothing
nothing to stop withering away she gave us only oh how she had until bit by bit she wasted and
wasted and wasted until white like the cups of the mountains, like the endless sky.
But you had a family that you cared for, didn't you?
Remember the memories of potentially the time when you did have food,
and you see, as Lifos brings that up,
he would like to try to take some of the memories that you have crafted of
Your old childhood home, maybe you sitting, you know, at a chair, someone in your life has finally found like something substantial to bring to the household to eat.
Any of your loved ones sitting near you is like as if you were looking down at your desk and then looked up and you're just like, you're there, right?
And you see Leifo sitting at the desk or the table with you, with your loved ones around you.
and he'll say
what did those beings
do to them
not to us
to the high lords
on their white horses
the streets
ran red
with the blood
of those who could only
take I remember their cries
drowned out
with screams of the
Angel's holy rage.
The brother is so much larger and stronger than I in the aftermath.
His head will pan over and there will be,
Bethael cannot piece together a memory of what the man's face looked like.
A sort of hazy, indistinct, shimmering mirage of someone with the same hair color as Bethael,
the same kind of like
brassy blonde
but the facial features are
indistinct
you can tell that he's definitely
Bethael senior by a few years
at least at this
point
is this who you care for the most
it was
it's like
turn over and the door will
open and there's sort of like a blue
light behind him as your brother
enters in
and if you want to take him over because it's your your thing because i'm assuming he's coming
and go like oh there's food certainly only joins you at the table yeah um i would say that as he
speaks his voice is indistinct and garbled clearly by the the kind of piecemeal memory
yes if his face turns to you he's like a porcelain doll bits of his head are missing
kind of imagery
and he speaks
he speaks a language that you likely
do not recognize
one of the many like
just assorted languages
across the random worlds
of the imperium the ones that the
world eaters would typically use
for recruitment purposes
and of course to uh ravage
across yeah
my philis would look to you
and say where is
your brother now not by the hands of the angels he would have been one promising he would have
made a fine warrior for the eaters of worlds but i could not bear the possibility that there would
only be one of us taken we did not have weapons and there is a flash of just a long crimson gash
vertically across the uh indistinct figures jugular a a spurting of blood a look of uh
surprise for a moment and clattering to the kind of stone ground of this hovel a uh kitchen knife
lifos will twirl the finger like kind of on one of the prisms that's on the table
and the knife will kind of slowly but surely
as he tries to morph it
make it look more corny looking
and as he begins to do so
he goes like
I'm sorry to hear about your brother
would you do anything to see him
I do not regret it
I do not
it is the core necessity of what had to be done
to bring me to the foot of the red angel
my gene father
so here is your payment
to be ascended
I wept for him but the weeping
changed nothing
this is irrelevant
would you have liked
to have him with you
as a brother in arms
maybe something in my heart
told me there was no possibility
of that future
that it was one or the other
and it would have been him
not the scrawny little one boy
my foes will stand as he goes over to the broken figure
as blood is gushing from the slash of the kitchen knife
and he will hand he'll kind of reach back
and hand over a sort of purple like scepter
kind of like bluish and purple intertwining itself
and he'll kind of like first graze it
across the broken figure
as it's sort of a blue light
begins to mend the part of the neck
and as soon as he hands it to Bethael
or puts it in front of you rather
the door that's to your dwelling
there was a blue light
kind of shining under the door itself
and as your memories of
pretty much your
payment to become an ascendant
begins to play out
outside the window
saying lines I assume of
other
chaos astartes and such looking at you
yeah
and as that
begins to go you begin to hear
the door just slamming just
like open up
and with
each thump the blue light begins to turn redder and redder and blood begins to pull through
and lifos kind of looks at the door and goes i think as his voice begins to come back and
the very like the very like pretty being that was in front of you begins to kind of
flake off and peel and and fade away as a robed skeleton and where skin and some flesh would be
would just be flowing sand as he kind of looks down at you and goes there as he kind of hand
motions to the door as begins more hammering growling just someone just yelling blood curdling
screams as if it's like a rabid animal trying to get in you just hear like gashes to the door on
the outside and then as soon as he does so just the scene is if everything begins to melt and
fall away and crumble and then everything's back to where you're still in the crater
lyphos has let you go and he's just kneeling there keeping watch over you sorcerer that pretty world
of yours looked like before us as sons burned it to the ground oh it was beautiful wasn't it
lifos looks off the distant of warm memories i suppose the differences we almost did remind me
to tell you of the night of the wolf sometime lifos will look over he ignores the curse as
as he looks over and goes,
our companions.
And Lifeforce will stand.
And I assume at this point,
the crew has come back with all their loot
and things like that.
And I assume the drop ship
or the troop carrier has been on its way and stuff.
I'm just offering,
and there might be a summary,
but otherwise everyone else can now take the scene.
I've taken up way too much.
No, that was cool.
No, actually, all of,
it was cool,
but all of this is really just a preface
for Byzante's tech use check
that we were waiting on oh my god oh yeah i forgot about that that was like i was like
literally you were like i'm going to the shuttle and i'm gonna and then you're like wait a second
i'm gonna get the progenite plants so i just assumed this is the longest detour from you making
No. 97.
97!
All right!
This is the punishment session.
Yeah!
Is that good?
Is 97 good?
Yeah, yeah, roll high.
The better it is, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, Warhammer's like golf.
Oh, God.
Hey, friend.
Hey.
um i guess the important thing right now to know is
uh yeah um you you can't raise the ship it's not working you're not able to to raise or get carry
the troops in fact like i assume what happens is his life host has this like touching mindscape
moment and then turns and is expecting and you're just like listening to like a dead dial tone
as he turns. He's like, alright, there's the
troop carrier and everything ready.
And you haven't even been able to establish contact.
I'm tired of messing with this!
Yevgeny!
Uh, Lord, I could
I could also try, Lord,
to smash through it.
And I'll push Vicatrix into the
into the armistlander and make her
fucking do it. You mean Lucitrix?
That's what I said. That's scary.
I push Vicatrix.
When Lucitrix gets scarified,
We're going to put a bag over her head, and she's going to metamorphose into Vicatrix.
If I had a nickel for every time that Erndil played a female character with the last name Trix,
I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot.
Well, you know what they say, Speaker.
Trix is...
For kids.
Yeah.
Just magically, deliciously.
What is your tech use, Hulki, before I have Lucitrix do something pointless?
Oh, my tech use?
My tech use, Erndil?
is it untrained uh no it is it's known i have a 45 is what i'd be rolling for it oh i'm sorry
oh yeah yeah no it's no it's done i'm looking at two different categories i got lore and i got tech
use okay uh would you like to go first because hers is trained which i think gives her some kind
of bonus in in that i don't know what specifically i think gives it like a plus 10 so you'd be better
off going first, and if not, then
we'll have the stinky rotten woman do the shot.
Absolutely. I'm sure.
He doesn't need to worry
about tech. Everything will work out in time.
Especially the tech issues.
Me, however, I'm
blessed by the gods.
That is true.
We have 32 with 2 degrees of success.
I am, in fact, blessed by the gods, but not
by much. Yay! God's favorite
guy! Oh my god, we succeeded!
One success in a session!
Yeah, me!
Wow, guys! We're on a roll!
Evgeny? Yes?
You manage to contact the carcass.
The vox operator responds with a crackling,
Greetings.
Greetings, carcass.
Uh, we really could use a troop transport
down here on the surface.
We have no rebreathers, any means for the
non-blessed to breach atmo.
We also have some wounded down here as well.
There's one Astartes with a grievously wounded leg.
He'll make it, but we really could use some reinforcements.
There's nobody else here but us.
Understood.
Patching you through to the necessary party.
The major general is being contacted,
and there's, like, a crackle as, uh…
Can they re-hold music?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, uh, recorded by Byzante.
It's loud.
So it's just a bunch of noise marine, just
I can hear that from here.
Yeah, you know what? That makes sense.
Give me a toughness, uh, challenging
toughness check. Man, I fucking
hate it here.
Fine. Challenging toughness
check.
You know me.
Oh boy, that's a
fucking 90 thanks speaker seven degrees of failure you take a level of fatigue uh yes cool wow yeah i
wanted to i wanted to ask because this is gonna sound dumb and i just because i think it's funny
you can shoot me down given that seph has told lucitrix very specifically you are to ensure that
he survives uh-huh the minute she can hear the sound of the guy saying i'll need to transfer you
over can i have her immediately grab the box away from him and take the sonic hit for him
um i know what's coming oh i will allow you to have lucitrix uh give me a plus 10 agility test
which nurgle characters are renowned for oh don't worry i gave her a little bit of agility so that
means she has a 20 she has a 20 chance of succeeding this faster than the stink of who
you've got that right first i have
nah 73 oh well damn she does not succeed you take she fucking face plants yeah you you just hear
this like awful cacophonous by Zanty quote-unquote music you take a point of fatigue um following
that there's like right you beginning no this sucks oh hey fuck you i tried to warn you i
didn't want to go deaf twice today fuck me it doesn't suck you just don't have the ears to
appreciate yeah i barely have ears to begin with they're not ripped off and sewed on with receivers
There's a speaker.
I don't know if you actually have ears under that.
You're getting angry at me.
Stop it.
You're getting like staring daggers right at him.
And per what happened with the fucking whatever his name was,
the mirror chud, who I don't remember because he did this to me.
You're getting looks at him.
He puts the headset closer into his ears,
And he just looks grimacing as the blood begins to drip a little bit down his ear.
Take another point of fatigue.
Sure.
Am I at two or am I at...
I had one point of fatigue before.
Did you have that on my sheet, Thurston?
You might have taken it from the combat, so you might still be fatigued from the combat.
Oh, cool.
I'm at fatigue three then.
What's your toughness?
Well, I know that it was out of three based upon my sheet, so I'm at max fatigue.
Okay, perfect, perfect. Yeah, you're at max fatigue.
Don't take any more. Okay. Okay.
There's like a crackle from the, you know, cacophony you subject yourself to, followed by a,
Hello there! This is Major Hansi Engelbert! Who is this?
Major General Hansi, this is Evgeny Prendergast. Sorry, I've just been sonically flash banged.
we need to transport
understood understood
I see I see could you put someone with authority
on please
oh
I have authority in this
situation I'm the only one who can operate this fox
the rest of the Astartes are too
big and cumbersome to do so
I beg your pardon
could you put
the fox receiver up to one of them
so I can hear them just to confirm
Evgeny peels
the coagulating blood
soaked receiver off his ear
and holds it
towards Cephas
tell him I'm in
control
a little bit of a tremble in his lip
he really really needs
this is the look that he's giving you
you have
you are passing a blood soaked
headphone to Cephas
while Lucitrix is tugging
at your pant leg trying to get you to not
kill yourself, and Cephas
will reach over with a
thumb and a forefinger and pluck
the headphone from you
and he will put it up next to
the sack that covers his head
and there is a very faint
squelch as the bloody receiver
goes against his, the
side of his head.
Major General.
Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, it's me, and the
boys and lads are all ready to go!
Excellent, excellent, excellent!
What is your command?
My command is you send a troop transport down
so that we can secure this area and exfiltrate one of our wounded.
Please do not tarry.
Ah, understood, understood. Thank you for your orders.
We are always willing to serve at the fastest available moment.
Of course, of course, of course.
Yes, this was done at the behest of Evgeny Prendergast,
who is in control of this situation.
As he looks down at Evgeny...
Ah!
I see.
Is Byzantium there?
Come on, now.
He will turn to face Byzantium.
Why did you not give Genny just doing a voice?
I need to make sense.
Why didn't you take my bit?
I'm sorry.
Because he's psychic.
Because he's the greatest wizard in the galaxy.
He's the Grinch.
Uh, Cephas will
uh, answer that
Yes
He is
Can you put him on for a moment?
You will hear a faint
pop as he pulls the previously
suctioned due to the blood against
the side of his head earphone
off of his head with his thumb
and index finger
and he is going to gently present
the headphone
to Byzante
It's for you.
Oh, what joy.
To what do I have the pleasure, Major General?
Okay, I need to be absolutely certain that that is not a mortal attempting to impersonate you, Lord.
I couldn't live with myself if that occurred.
I can't be duped. I'm a loyal servant who just needs to make sure that you authorize it.
Your loyalty is to be commended, Major General, but you...
So what I need you to tell me, and I need you to confirm this vocally for me,
is that the orders I have received are correct.
Now, three.
Ah, that I'm supposed to dispatch a troop transport.
Is that what you require?
Speaker, have Byzantium give me a willpower test.
Yeah, you can.
Thurston, you are a sadist today, Thurston Hillman.
You are, there is something sadistic in you today.
Can you confirm the order, sir?
No!
it's a secret
sephus beckons for the earphone again
hold on i need to make a different one for us
i just want to let you know
i will tell you this major general
if you wish to know if the order is accurate
might I suggest
asking
your current relay
and communications officer
Yevgeny
Pondegas! And I'll hand
the headset right back to Yevgeny.
I want to let you know
two things.
One
is that Yevgeny's
grimace has turned to a small
warbling smile.
Very little, like he's gonna cry.
The other is that his arm has been raised and held that position the entire time, so
the same one that Seph has took the receiver from, he has not moved an inch, so his fingers
are hooked in like a crook, just to nook the receiver back into, and he shakily brings
it back to his ear.
Your order clear, Major General Hansi Echobot.
Yes, very much.
Thank you.
Thank you, Junior Communications Officer Evgeny Prendergast.
I appreciate your counter in this.
Captain Evgeny Prendergast, you put respect on my name.
Major General, I did not kill and watch my men die to be anything less than captain.
Captain, you will not refer to me as anything but that.
Is that clear?
Oh, yes, yes, Captain.
Might I, might I say, you're dutiful nature here.
I'm going to put you in for a recommend- click.
Bethael very softly from the floor.
That was really good.
You should kill that guy.
Oh, hello, Lord.
When did you get here?
He dragged me in here.
Wifo drops the flail onto the lander.
Just dropping her right next to fucking Lucitrix.
I didn't know you were allowed to roleplay in this scene.
You should fucking kill that guy.
Not right now.
He's just like any other Imperial, even if he's
turned his sides he's a man of duty and i commend him for it
i want to go home i want to go back to the ship i'd like to say something what
what my dutiful lord byzantium can we actually talk over here just a little bit over here
you know it's a little secret little secret chat with the secret master yeah absolutely master of
secrets, Lord Byzantium is
fit.
Evgeny's going to step five feet away out of the little
shitbox that is the...
Are you...
Are you going to drag
Lucid Tricks with you, or are you going to kick her off?
No, no, this is Evgeny's
ears all the way. I know.
That's why I'm asking him if he's doing that.
Lucy, can you...
I don't know why you're
holding on to me still, but can you
let go, please? I don't remember either.
Fine, go ahead. Okay,
Okay, thank you, I appreciate you.
He falls to the floor like a puppet with a strength cut.
Gets hit with a synaptic disintegrator.
He collapses down, slash die, slash kill.
The meat hitting the floor of a corpse.
The Dark Eldar arrives and starts shooting.
Getting a walk over with Byzantium to the...
Are we walking out of the Arvis or are we walking to the back corner?
There's not a lot of room in here.
Yeah, we're walking like two steps out of the Arvus.
We're stepping out of the Arvus into the howling, dust-caked wind of this shitty planet.
Yeah, pretty much.
So listen. I want to, I want to say, you absolutely should not become a Cornet.
You've been getting very friendly, right, with the blood court, and I've been noticing it, and I'm very happy for you and your successes.
But here's the thing. You do not want to join Gorn.
Why are you telling me this, Byzantine?
You know how Bethael is currently unconscious, with a leg made primarily out of talcum powder and gore?
I want to, I want to point out, like, part of me really wanted, like, I wanted that Bethael to be brought back.
So, like, Bethael is within, like, earshot of this conversation, but can do absolutely nothing.
Carry on, carry on.
He's just sitting there frothing at the mouth of Impenetrable Age.
Yeah.
Now, listen, all corn worship ends in one place.
Death.
I figured you could guess what that place is.
I thought all of chaos worship
ended in death at some point.
Either you die, or you die in a different way,
or you live forever as some horrible monster.
Khorne more specifically is about that.
Khorne is literally the god of kill everyone and everything, including you.
I thought Bethael said that Khorne cares not where the blood flows from,
so long as it flows.
That's another way of saying what I said, but it sounds cooler.
I mean, it does sound kind of cool.
In a certain way, it is.
But you are free from the most repressive system that has ever been known to humankind.
You have the sum of ultimate potential at your fingertips.
And if you were to waste that potential, becoming just another throbbing berserker,
I would feel like I personally had failed you.
Also, Slaanesh is the rival god of Khorne.
So inevitably, you're going to try and kill me,
which means that it's only polite for me to try to kill you.
But you haven't tried to kill…
You haven't tried to kill Bethael?
Not in a meaningful way.
That's a good one.
No, I… yeah, well, it's sort of… it's complicated.
He's a space marine.
You both are. Like, you could just put your hands around his throat, or rip his tail off and choke him with it, or, I don't know, play that horrible music that you make and blow out his ears and then his skull.
You could do all of that. You could do every single one of manner of cruelty to him that would no doubt serve in some perverse way Slaanesh.
The ecstasy of taking a life.
Well, I find more perverse enjoyment out of seeing him suffer and need me to save him.
But it also is because we have enough of a shared history lasting over centuries to where I'm not in a hurry to kill him.
Though he is certainly in a hurry to kill me.
Genny will ponder this for a second.
You can continue.
The point is, Evgeny, uh, Byzantium puts a hand on his shoulder, I may not have throngs of peons outside of that major general character that's just pissed you off.
I may not be oh so kindly and relatable in the best of times,
and I certainly don't bear even an inch of Bethaiot's overwhelming tragedy with me over my shoulders.
But I do represent a god that would be perhaps kinder to you.
or at the very least more pleasing to follow they don't have to worship michael
but for heaven's sake do be careful of cornate worship their ideal form of actualization
involves lobotomy and not the fun ones you perform either the ones you endure
I don't think lobotomies are very fun, sir.
You haven't been to the right lobotomy.
I've shot someone in the head multiple times.
I've seen someone drain out of the front of their face.
I've made bad shots, sir.
I've watched them writhe.
It's not pleasurable, I can tell you that.
There's a line between taking a life in the line of duty and taking it for pleasure.
And believe me, I relish when I put any number of Xenos down,
but staring back into the eyes of someone who didn't rightly deserve it
is a part of you that goes with them.
And sometimes you just eat that pain.
It's not pleasurable.
That is a very charmingly human notion.
And if you wish to cling to it, I will tell you.
The only one that will be more disagreeable about that notion
will be Bethael and the cornate worshippers like him.
A bit of friendly advice.
Well, if it's any consolation, sir,
I don't intend to go shoving any things into my head any time soon.
Certainly not of my own volition.
No one ever intends it.
No, but I suppose feeling nothing but insensate rage
does not appeal to me either.
What a wonderful thing to hear.
Don't you worry.
We'll find your place yet.
And I'm sure you've so many more glories to show us.
Yeah, plenty of glories.
He kind of feels the shard of un-glass embedded in his neck from earlier.
Just smiles a little bit, huh.
You should try to enjoy that, while it still can cause you pain.
And then Byzantium will, uh, Byzantium says, gesturing at the glass in his skin before
moseying back to the rest of everybody.
So crawling into the Arvas.
Yes.
Heh.
Excellent.
Uh, yeah, you, you return in, um, at this point, are you guys, like, okay, so to clarify,
are we bringing Bethael back now?
Yeah, I'm actually not sure where I am.
I, okay, I brought Bethael from the crate to the, to our Arvas lighter, I assume everyone
else has got their loot, went to the Arvas lighter, using that as a point of landing,
ship or transport is on their way to us we're just waiting yeah okay i think so i'll say
unless someone else can yeah as the conversation completes um by santee and eugenie by sentries you
walk up you get a uc lipos with with uh beth viles like not corpse approaching
like that i said you've genny but you went on that speaker good job
I couldn't ever notice
we're not in a Thunderhawk
right now
this is
what the fuck is up with us
we're just mean
this is like the mean girls
that we know
that is true
wow
that got me
Byzantine
fuck
Thurston, I'm not associated with this one.
I'm still outside the Thunderhawk.
I'm just standing.
I want to have at Byzantium's extraordinarily callous
and hostile remark, he will actually step in.
You walk out of the back of the Arvis.
He's going to step into the conversation.
Okay, thank you.
Pedant.
I'm just making sure no one thinks that we're all having this moment
inside the tiny confines of an armistice later,
because someone will fucking well actually meet me
with, like, a fucking picture of the model.
So anyways, yes, carry on.
Cephas will step into the conversation,
and he is going to place a hand on Byzante's shoulder,
and he's going to leer at him, oozingly.
Brother, save the chastisement for once, I believe.
Why?
Life works in a wheel, brother.
Sometimes you're on top of it,
and other times you are being crushed to death under it.
It is gauche to applaud the failures of another
from the top of the wheel,
because you will be under it at some point.
And then you laugh.
I just stated a simple fact of the matter.
No. Did you?
No, Cephas, let him speak.
I will remember every word.
Coward.
I'm no coward.
Really?
Don't make me smack your head off of your limp corpse.
Unlike you corny fools, I don't have a sense of propriety when it comes to maximizing violence.
Oh, I see.
That is why you cowered so far away.
Why, I was the only one close enough to approach the Thunderhawk.
Yes, yes, let us hear.
Let us hear of it.
I killed the majority of the Astartes!
Yes, and you did it standing still.
I did it playing the song of Slámeš.
Yes, and it was very scary, Byzante.
You know, Bethael,
Your words would make me very angry,
if I thought you knew how to spell any of them.
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get them next time.
And then Byzantium will walk off.
That leaves Cephas with Byzantium,
and Lyphos is holding, or sorry,
that leaves Cephas with Bethael,
and Lyphos, who's holding Bethael.
Lyphos.
Yes, brother?
May I shoulder the burden this time?
You've walked an awful long way.
Thank you.
And he will transfer Bethael, uh, to Cephas.
So Cephas, put Bethael in your inventory.
Yeah.
Go ahead, back in.
Encumbered.
Uh, no, I have, I have strength 68, I'm doing alright.
That is true.
You and your companion, I, Cephas,
did very well doing many melted in Urgo's glory.
That may be so, but our entire reason for even engaging
in this absurd engagement was a failure.
Not through any fault of one who spirited past the enemy
to attempt to stop it,
but simply because we were unprepared.
You would see the death of our foes
and us still being around counts as a win.
A pheric victory, if you want to count people's feelings, as he looks at the other companions.
Perhaps so.
We have some time to wait before the transport arrives, presumably, as he will check the
skies to see if anything is approaching.
We got time for some good Cephas moments here.
Go on, go on.
A joyous battle.
Many deaths.
However, we did incur some damage on our side,
though it is lucky in your case, brother,
as he will raise a finger
and bring it perilously close to Bethael's face.
You survived.
Congratulations.
Bethael just kind of leans back.
Congratulations.
Yes, it is worthy of congratulations.
You have more blood yet to spill.
More of your own as well.
The joys of recuperation means that you will always have more blood to shed for your god.
And your leg is in terrible condition.
She literally just starts yanking on your leg for no reason.
Tell your minion not to touch that or I'm going to bop her like a balloon.
His trick's off.
Apologies.
I did my best to try and break your fall.
Unfortunately, I could not get all of you in time.
Too fat.
He, uh, he kind of puts a hand,
like a kind of gingerly kind of posed hand on his chest
as he kind of slightly bowed and goes,
I...
Well, I can only guess as to your reasons.
I'm simply helping a battle brother in need.
Isn't that right, Cephis?
We're all in this together.
I myself am more interested in the fact that a
fall that should have ended your life, Bethael, instead resulted in a mere loss of limb,
temporary as it may be. It's very fascinating, means that someone out there is very interested
in your continued survival. Yes, it's as if the sages have seemed to be rolling on the table.
I believe what you mean to say, brother, is that it was the beneficence of the Grandfather
that ensured that his fate was not sealed the moment he tumbled from the Thunderhawk?
I would say you're contributed by paving a death way for our companion to make it.
A cooperation, I would say, in the game.
Speaking of which, did you defile them?
There were plenty defiled, as it were.
We have so much time for sports
that we've assigned to worship those who grant us power.
Will I help you?
Waste is waste, brother. Leave it be.
We have more pressing concerns.
As he kind of rolls his shoulder a bit
and moves the Bethael he's carrying.
I imagine our brother is quite tired
of being held like a limp dog.
In such a good dog he was, fetching the stick.
Dude, it fucking sucks to get hurt
when you're in a Chaos Warband.
Everyone's-
I know, everybody's doing the fucking.
Ha, wimp.
You took damage.
Way to do it at the end of your session, Hulki.
That means you didn't get made fun of nearly as much.
Well, we wouldn't make fun of Hulky because he's like, you know, he's our guy.
No, come on.
Fucking say it.
I'm small and pathetic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I believe Byzantium has some secrets he would like to not share with you aboard the lander.
Why don't you pester him for a moment?
Oh, of course.
By Zanty, the great sorcerer demands your audience prepare for my arrival.
He exits the Arvis lighter and heads off to you.
He's just standing there eating a sandwich.
What do you want?
Oh, can I have some?
You just shove it in your mouth.
This is how you know that those two are besties.
This is real chaos.
Get out of your mouth! Get out of your mouth!
You're like, oh, but, like, grabs your tongue and goes,
Get out of your mouth!
NO! AHHHHH!
But Liefeld's a little, at least proposed by his
auntie girl, like,
Like, it seems, oh friends, if I did not defile the corpses
after the fact, were you able to indulge in your pleasures?
I have no desire to defile these corpses.
Besides, we're a fellow servants of the dark gold,
but not likely to be especially clean in the first place.
We need them for their gene stock.
My fellows will begin to walk towards some of the corpses.
Like some of the thing.
What I'm going to describe is actually horrific.
So I'm going to summarize it.
He arranges their bones in signs of Zeech.
He starts doing it in a circle.
All right, you can have one.
I'll have the other.
All right, I'll read one in the sign of Slaanesh.
and ash and you can raise yours in the sign of zeke yeah i'm basically good so i don't have to
go in gruesome detail many people get all icky i'm using the intestines and the senual muscle
everything else i'm doing weird fetishes and arrangements and stuff as he's just fighting
it's like a kid painting as he waits for the ride finger painting yeah finger i'm just looking
i'm true i'm just glad that i wasn't gonna have to deal with zorin being in a necromancer
in like the eighth campaign in a row
because I was really worried
in one campaign
oh he's so mad
he's so mad he's so mad
he's so fucking mad
it's not like he also did it with the B team so technically
there's two anyways
he was a holy knight
now
now that
the freaky duo
have departed
the freaky duo that remains
And, uh, what we got is, Evgeny is still here, yeah?
Yeah.
Well, he's outside the Argus at the moment,
and he's just kind of standing, looking off into the nothing, the malaise.
Cephas is going to bring, uh, Bethael over to the seats of the lander,
and he will prop him up in one of them while keeping the mangled leg nearby.
Not necessary.
Stop, I'm tired of holding you.
We've spent enough time being hefted by our battle brothers.
We have nothing left to do here.
Just sit and wait.
Be cruel here.
And what would that...
What purpose would that serve?
Spare me the indignity of Lyfos's attentions.
He would have done this regardless.
You have to allow him his indulgences for the time being.
Sephis will look firmly at Bathael.
You will allow whatever will happen.
Although I did not wish for unnecessary admonishment to strike your back,
you did fail, brother.
Theirs did not bite as they should have.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold the fuck up.
Are you seriously going to blame you being on fire
on me not giving you the butcher's nail buff?
No, no.
That is Bethael talking shit about Odoroshi
because Odoroshi should have spent the turn frenzying.
Thurston INVADES the RP!
Are you guys RPing? This is my own character talking shit about me!
You're RPing wrong.
Thurston is here to correct you.
Evil man.
There'll be time to correct this later,
but for now, we're going to have to take you back to the carcass
so your leg can be reconstituted and you can become a murderous...
hound again.
I don't understand.
The three of you have left me there.
What? Leaving you alive in a crater?
What good would that do anyone?
What good does it do to drag me all the way here?
It was not your fate to die there.
To violate my mind.
I cannot speak for Lifos and what he accomplishes in his own time.
I am not here to safeguard you, brother.
I am here to fight at your side.
No, I do not ask you to safeguard me.
I simply wonder why you'd be insulted if you did.
Please.
We bring more death if you are not lying on the ground bleeding.
If I have to take a round or two to accomplish that,
it is what it is.
We need to stop looking so firmly at the actions being taken.
Just let them be what they are.
As for Leifos,
You know that the two of them enjoy taunting you, yes?
Painfully aware.
Despite the scar I left behind on Byzante,
he still feels the need to jeer, accidental as it was.
We're going to be at this quite a while, Bethael.
I can't imagine we're going to be free of this cycle anytime soon.
We already have been. We are with them.
I have endured them since the Sage of Terra,
likewise indeed.
Well, what do we do then?
Would you like them dead?
I don't know.
Yes. No.
I... every time I feel the presence of the Psyker near me,
every time I hear the song of Slaanesh,
my head pounds with the need to rip heads from necks.
I've spent how many centuries enduring each other?
I have spent practically as much time as I have among them as I did my own brothers.
I do not understand this cosmic joke.
Fate is fickle and caused by our mutually distrusted god, Zeke.
It is not our place to know it.
It, in fact, is barely their place to understand their own god.
I pity them, in a way.
It's a complex way of life.
And yet we are here.
And yet we continue to kill in the name of the gods.
We continue to endure in their name,
to attempt to snuff out the blighted light of the corpse emperor.
And yet we can only sit here and bicker amongst each other.
And to that answer you gave,
when I asked if we should kill them.
Yes? No?
As long as the answer can still be no,
the answer will be no.
It is not their fate to die by our hands
until the only answer we have is...
And then he leans in again.
Yes.
Correct?
Knowledge that much, at least.
But, Sephys, it has been this long.
It raises my bile to call them brother, and yet I know not what else to call them.
Then we shall shoulder the burden together, and life continues on.
Life continues on.
Would you like for me to bring in the attendant?
I'm certain she could do a better job tending to the leg, if you so wish.
I wish not to contract
whatever it is is on her hands
fair enough
I cannot easily ask her to wash her hands
that would be far too rude
indeed
I will wait for Valthor
though I imagine he will be
rather
not excited
to tend to Astartes over mortal
begging your pardon
the drask in the medbay
the apothecary
sorry I didn't quite hear that
oh yeah you're good
the accent
I shall wait outside with the two mortals
we watch the
the antics
of the zinchin and the slaneshi
they really
are made for each other you know that
like gasoline and fire
ow
don't try to move too much brother
much as i know you wish to move doubt you'll make anything particularly worse but
hearing you grunting and groaning is a bit of a it is mildly disheartening as it is not pain
being caused by one of our gifts it is simply the gift of a gravity wish that i could claim
that as a gift is julianne all right uh cephas will peer out of the arvus lighter at uh evgeny
who is presumably standing a distance away shell-shocked at nothing in the distance
hulky i mean not shell-shocked at nothing but yeah he's he's standing out there as the winds
whipping by he seems fine he did not endure any damage from our last engagement good to hear
I imagine fire would agree with him
far less
yes
point of fact I believe
I shall stand out there with him for a time
do rest brother
Joyce
you're right you do not
convalescence is as much a part of the cycle
as it is dying
he pats Bethael on the shoulder
and he will
rise to his feet and begin
to slowly trudge out of the lighter
Bethael just leans his head
against the side of the Arvis lighter
with an audible clang.
Pipes falling, SFX.
All right, and as you do that,
we have Yevgeny who is looking shell-shocked
at the distance.
Yevgeny, you see in the sky
the silhouette of a descending troop transport.
And I think that's where we're going to call today's episode.
Alas.
It is what it is.
Man, I could go on with the role play for another six hours.
Excellent.
I kind of wanted to as well, but I felt like we were nearing the end.
I didn't want to drag out too, too much.
I think everyone did a wonderful job.
It's a good role play session after a long combat thing.
so i think we we needed that kind of pick me up and stuff so excellent job everybody uh hope you
all listeners lovely listeners had a lovely time with our show today remember if you want to
support us make the show keep on rolling help the help you know compensate players artists
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declaration.com where you can always go there and figure out ways to support us and also see all the
other shows and things that we're doing there and of course if you want to see direct updates and
everything that we do patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration where we give weekly updates
and all sorts of information to keep you up to date on what we're doing and of course with that
please also the website where you can find everyone's social see all the lovely projects
they work on see all the cool stuff that they're doing and we will all see you next time so long
Farewell. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
The Dark City.
The Dark City.