Hi, friends. Welcome to the Christy Faith Show episode 100. Can you even believe it? Because I can't. So when I was thinking about what to do for this episode, like what actually feels right in my soul, the answer actually came pretty quickly.

I just wanted to hang out with my friends. That's it. No big fancy thing, just us. So today, Marnie, Denise, and Jesse are here. Yay.

Think of it like a girls night out except it's not nighttime. You're invited and we're recording it. And listen, I'm warning you ahead of time about Denise. She asked me before we started, do I have to behave myself? And I said, absolutely not.

So consider yourself warned. Denise, is this gonna be appropriate for children?

Of course. Of course.

We are letting our hair down today. Pull up a chair, grab your coffee, grab that load of laundry that's been sitting there in the corner. You can fold it while you're listening to us and just hang out. This is going to be fun. Welcome back, everybody.

I am Kristi Faith, educational expert, author, speaker, podcaster, and your host of this show that just reached 100 episodes. We're so excited. All right. Let's bring in the women who are about to make me regret this. We'll go around and we will introduce ourselves.

So Marnie, can you start us off today?

Yeah. I'm Marnie Love, homeschool mom to three, two in college now. And I'm one of the mentors here, and I love working alongside the moms in this community. I've been in Christy's world for about three years, and I'm very excited to be on the other side of the mic

today. Denise, who are you?

Well, I'm Denise, and I am a homeschool mom to three adult kids, and I'm also a mentor here. I am very honored to be, here on this hundredth episode with Christy and, also very honored to walk alongside homeschool moms as they're trying to figure out this whole homeschooling life.

And you are so good at it. Marty and Denise are mentors in Thrive Homeschool Community. So a lot of you may know their names. A name you might not be as familiar with unless you're coming to office hours because we talk about Jesse all the time, lovingly, by the way. Jesse was here even before any of this existed.

She was actually my very first friend when I moved to Colorado and the very first homeschool mom I ever met because we talked on the phone before I even moved and we joined her co op. So she has been with me since before this podcast, before there was even a Kristi Faith thing, and before anyone even knew me as my middle name, she knows me as my last name. So she has seen it all. Jesse, would you please introduce yourself, my sweet friend? Yes.

Hi, everyone. So happy to be here with you today. My name is Jessie, and I'm a homeschool mom to four kids. I've been in the world for a long time homeschooling, and I think we're going on ten years knowing each other. Right, Christy?

Yeah. I believe so. Close to it at least. Yeah. Yeah.

I've I've talked to Marty and Denise, like, separately, like, aren't you so glad I've brought Jesse into our fold? Because Jesse is the type of person actually, everyone on this call is right now on this show where when I first met them, I was like, okay, they're not going away. Like, I dug my claws in, and I decided that we had to be friends no matter what. So, I am so thankful that you guys are still with me on this journey and on this incredible mission that we have. So, today, we're gonna be doing a couple different things.

We're gonna be talking about listener transformations. We're gonna be talking about, each other. I think I'm gonna be interviewed as well. This will be a fun show today. So before we go into you all grilling me, and I, I'm scared of some of the questions because I know that's coming, But I actually wanna hear from you first, Marnie and Denise, and then later Jesse with something separate.

You two get to walk alongside so many moms, and you get to see the wins and the breakthroughs and the moments that make all this hard work behind the scenes worth it for all of us. I would love to hear from you guys first on what are some of the major transformations or just the heartwarming epiphanies and moments that you've had the privilege to walk alongside some moms with?

Yeah. I think it's just so fun to be able to see mamas that come in at the very beginning of their homeschool journey. And so one mama comes to mind. She, is just at the very beginning of homeschooling, and she was feeling anxious, not sure where to start, what to do. She's actually been in Thrive for about a year, but, we just started a new accelerator group to go through one of Christy's amazing frameworks, the homeschool setup, and she came.

Even though she's been in Thrive for a year, we were kinda opening it up for new mamas. And she came to every single one and she just felt so much more confidence after going through that. She'd been through it on her own before but going through it with community, being able to talk with Julie and I about her questions, listening to other mom's questions just filled her with this renewed confidence, and she's excited to start her homeschool journey now with this confidence, this peace because she knows what it is that she's going for. She knows her why. She knows how to implement what it is that she wants for her homeschool.

And just seeing that peace over her instead of that anxiety that she was feeling at the beginning has been such

I love that so much. And I think part of the why just of this show is something that I know is that moms feel more confident when they're more equipped. When we have knowledge, we have training, we know data, all those things. And so that's kind of when I talk about this show and we share game changing ideas for intentional parents, it's so that we can implement those things. And that is such a cool story.

Denise, do you have a story?

I do. I we have a lot of stories, but the one that really, was on my heart to share today is from a mom who gave me permission to share her own words and also her name. Her name is Cheryl, and she's been in Thrive for at least three years, And her transformation has just been beautiful to be part of. Of course, I can't tell her whole story, but what I want to highlight about Cheryl today is her determination to overcome her fears, her insecurities, her doubts, her shortcomings, because we all have them, all the things that we battle. And, even though she was using all the resources that Christy has created, attending master classes, receiving parent coaching with Marnie, Cheryl has just been on a life changing journey.

And in addition to those things, not even though, but in addition to those things, she was also taking advantage very faithfully of office hours throughout her journey, and she still does. And office hours is the live Zooms with with the mentors in Thrive. And it's a message that she sent to us after one of those Zooms that I want to share, some excerpts of today. She wrote, I just wanted to send a note to say thank you to both of you. I've been having a really rough time with my son lately to the point that yesterday, I told him I was done homeschooling and I can't do it anymore.

And he better be prepared because tomorrow he's going into the public school. She said he broke down, I broke down, but then and this is where you see the transformation. She continued, we we talked about ways we can work together, and I asked him for his ideas of what we can both improve on and things that we can do that would help him with his wiggles, music we can put on to help his brain, etcetera. She said, I knew I was going to office hours today, but I wasn't sure that I necessarily needed to ask anything. I just have so many thoughts and feelings and so much going on.

I wasn't even sure how to pose a question. But listening to you mentors, your words of encouragement, and just the calmness and certainty that you you helped me feel, I'm so glad I went today. Thrive isn't just a place to get concrete resources. This is what Cheryl's an example of. To get the resources that you need to create the homeschool that's the right one for your family, it's so much about community, coaching, genuine interaction with other homeschool moms and mentors.

It's a place where Cheryl feels that she belongs no matter where she is on her journey. And as she goes through her days, her weeks, her months, her homeschool plan can be set exactly as she needs it to be, but life is life and storms come. And one of the things I love about this privilege of being with the moms and thrive is that we provide harbor in those storms. That's what office hours is, is harbor. Cheryl came into the harbor that day and just absorbed the peace and calm for an hour knowing that she was safe.

She was in a safe place. And her takeaway was from the exhortation of that day where we had talked about redeeming the day, and what she realized is the day before she had redeemed the day. She had been equipped already, and we can't prepare anybody, equip anybody in life to not have storms. But being there to help equip and walk through the storms with these moms and to provide harbor is just really high privilege. And I just she just really touches me the way she just doesn't give up, and she perseveres because she knows that it's worth it.

And isn't she a founding member? I feel like she's a founding member.

She's a founding member, and she just became a lifetime member. Oh, man. Yeah.

That is so cool. That is so cool. Homeschooling four kids means I'm juggling roughly 24 different subjects at any given time. And a few years back during a particularly busy season, I hit a wall. I needed some serious help with the heavy lifting of teaching everything myself and managing schedules for four kids.

That's when I found BJU Press Homeschool, and we've loved their courses so much that we keep going back. Some families use them for everything and love it. I use them for certain subjects. Either way, total mental load relief. Here's what my mornings look like now.

Let us take science for example. My three girls do that one together. They fire up the lesson taught by a real teacher, well produced, actual teaching, not just click through busy work. And I sit there with my coffee, watch them, or make breakfast, and we discuss the big ideas. Every BJU Press homeschool course prioritizes critical thinking, a biblical worldview, and hands on learning.

I just guide the conversation and pick which activity or pages or projects we want to do, and everything's already planned out. They have an online platform included for you called the homeschool hub, and it keeps everyone on track, both me and my kids, without micromanaging or nagging. And when I have questions, I call my Homeworks consultant. These people don't just help you get set up. They're available for you whenever you need them.

It's like having a homeschool expert on speed dial. Go to bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes to find out more. People are always curious what curriculum I use for my own family, and honestly, it changes. We've tried a lot over the years. Some work for a season and some completely missed the mark, but there is one that's stuck.

CTC math. It's a full k to 12 online math curriculum, and it's won oodles of awards for a reason. It's just that good. I use it for all four of my kids, and they couldn't be more different when it comes to math. Finding one curriculum that actually works for all of them, that's been nearly impossible.

You know that pit in your stomach when you realize the curriculum that you just invested in isn't working again? Yeah. That was us until this one. The genius behind CTC math is that it's adaptive. The questions adjust to each kid's level in real time.

So they're always challenged but never crushed. And mama, it does the teaching and grading for us. Yes. You heard that right. That's a homeschool mom's dream.

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Don't spend another year kissing math frogs. This one stuck for us, and I have a feeling it's gonna stick for you too. Well, and for those of you listening, if you're like, wow, that's a big thing for Thrive. So a lot of people think of, like, membership communities as like joining something to hang out with besties. We are pretty serious about this homeschooling mentorship thing here.

Our entire community is based on the six pillars of homeschool success. And, we truly train you, equip you. That's why we have Marnie in the community. She's a certified parenting coach because so much of homeschooling involves healthy parenting as well Mhmm. And healthy attachment to your kids, problem solving, us staying calm, all of the things.

And then we also equip you with your day to day problems, curriculum decisions, special needs, all of that. And so that is that's so touching. I'm gonna reach out to Cheryl. That is so sweet. I wasn't expecting that today.

And then When I asked her when I asked her if I could share this, her response was, OMG, absolutely yes.

Oh. Oh.

And what's so cool is I've met her in person when I was at a conference. Yeah. That was quite a few years ago. Yeah. Right after Thrive opened, I think, like, that spring, I was able to meet a couple of ladies who live in Texas.

So awesome.

Okay, Jesse. You've known Christy the longest, so we have some questions for you. Starting with, what's something that Christy is secretly really bad at?

Let's see. One thing I I I see that she's not so good at is Resting. Christy's good at everything except resting. Goes a 100 miles an hour all the time. I can see that.

I can see that.

Yeah. And Jesse, like, we we're at things together. So she sees what it's like to be in my real life.

Oh, yeah. In the bleachers with her laptop working.

Yep.

So cute.

I put it away when the game starts.

You do. You're very you're still present for your kid. Oh my goodness.

You're just not wasting your time.

Exactly. Gotta get every minute.

Jesse, what does Christy do when she's nervous?

Well, honestly, I've never seen Christy nervous, but

This is not true.

It is true.

I never I give you rambling voxers all the time.

Well, was gonna say that, maybe you get kind of quiet. Like, you turn in and you pray, and then you buckle down and you just get it done. So Mhmm. Yeah. I never Put

your game face on. Put your well, at least you don't do what I do when I get nervous.

What do you do? What do you do?

I fart. This

is how how can you tell your body to do that?

I don't tell my body to do that. My body just does it.

Oh my goodness. You know, I get sick to my stomach, though. I live in, like, stage fright all the time. Okay.

Jesse, what would people never guess about Christy?

Christy is a true foodie. She will not swallow things that do not taste good. And I love that. Have I She knows what Have you

I actually spit something out at your house?

No. What do you no.

But I will spit something out if it doesn't taste good.

Yeah. I've heard you say this, and I've never witnessed it. So but I know you love what you love, and you're particular in your taste, which is great.

Yeah. Well, and actually, Jesse's a really good cook. So it wouldn't have been one of her dishes.

Okay, Jesse. What's a moment you witnessed behind the scenes that no one else would know about?

The thought that comes to my mind is actually from when we were first in a co op together. Christy is such a naturally gifted leader and educator that she came to me as the director and she's like, what if I give the mom some little pep talks about homeschooling and help them learn some things and I was like, oh, this is awesome and she did that for several weeks. I think a whole semester and it was everyone's favorite part of the day because we mommas are there to learn and be in community together and Christy was just such a rallying encourager and gave us lots of great information. So, this comes by her naturally, I would say.

That's awesome. What do you wish Christy knew about how she's impacted people that maybe she doesn't fully see? Well,

I wonder if she knows what a lifeline she is to so many moms. Because I feel like in the homeschooling space you can feel really isolated and alone, but you don't have other moms or if there are people in your own life, they don't have the same values and mindset. They're not homeschooling themselves so they don't really understand. And I think Christy does a great job of just providing those points of connection for mom to not feel isolated and just encouraged and not as overwhelmed. She just like breaks everything down in such beautiful pieces and gives tiny bits of information so you're not overwhelmed.

But you still clean so much. And I think it's hard to put into words just what you mean to all the people that you include, Christy.

Oh. Thank you, Jesse. And that that actually means a lot coming from you because Jesse is the one who, for all of my talks, whenever you see me speaking at a conference, she did the slides. So she's the one that makes everything that I wanna say beautiful and packaged well, and I'll like voxer her this long rambly thing like, can you make a flowchart for and then I'll just go on and on and on. And then all of a sudden, it pops up in Canva, and it's like absolutely gorgeous.

And so you actually that's a high compliment, Jesse, because you actually see my stuff that I'm creating. And, and also, Jesse is just such a a cheerleader. Like, when she goes through one of my, one of my talks and makes all the slides, she's just so encouraging. Like, moms need this, or this made me cry at the end. I remember with the my keynote.

Everyone cries at the end of my keynote, and even though I've given it so many times, I still cry at the end of my keynote. So, thank you, Jesse. That is so sweet. Alright. So, you so much, Jesse.

That's so sweet. I'm glad that, people are getting to know you on the show today. So, we also asked our community what they would want for the hundredth show, and quite a few people responded that they would like to ask me questions. And so we're gonna have a moment here where I'm in the hot seat. We have chosen some from our wide community, some questions that people wanted to know.

So who's starting with some of these questions?

I am Rebecca. One of our, working moms in Thrive wants to know, Christy, from you. What's your detailed homeschool slash work schedule, and how do you balance it all, and how do you ensure that the independent work gets done? Alright.

So and I've shared my schedule on some Zoom calls, but I actually have an Excel spreadsheet with five columns on it. And I'm on the left, it says mommy, and then each of my kids are after it. And because I work and I'm homeschooling, we have to keep to a pretty I don't wanna use the word rigid, but a pretty routine schedule. And the reason why is because my kids not only need to know when they're going to have me for a particular subject, but they also need to know when they're expected to work independently. So it's really helped my family to have that spreadsheet.

And if you're curious about homeschooling schedules and what works and what doesn't work or even want a version of my spreadsheet, I actually do have I'll put a link in the show notes. I have a free download of sample homeschooling schedules that you guys can grab. That's always a very popular one when I put that up at conferences when we're talking about how to organize our days.

How do you make sure that the independent work gets done

even while you're working? Yes. I am not one to have the patience to tolerate negotiations with my children. And so rather than barking I also don't wanna bark orders. Right?

So I don't wanna nag. I don't wanna bark orders. And so I'm a huge believer in setting expectations and setting our kids up for everything they need to be successful. And then also just fill it with grace. So, I do expect my kids that when they are working independently, that a level of work gets done.

And if a level of work is not getting done, then I expect them to come to me and ask for help. So they can't just waste forty five minutes and then say like, it was at the end. Say that was just too hard, mommy. I didn't get anything done today. So we kinda have some expectations and protocols for I also am present even though even if they're doing independent work.

So what comes to mind is in the my youngest child who's about to be 10, her English language arts is somewhat independent. And she watches a video and then does some workbook pages and and things like that. And so in the beginning of the year, she needed me it was a brand new curriculum. I hadn't put her on this before, and she needed I couldn't work at all. Like, I couldn't even check emails during it.

We had to be there together. And then, as the year kind of progressed, she really started to know what to do, know where to click, what buttons to push, how to do a work text page, how to find the pages, and all of that. And so we're now at the point where I can't do deep work. I can't do writing then with her when she's during her that hour where we're together every day for her English language arts and literature. But I can definitely check emails.

I can do kind of light work where I can stop at any moment because she is the priority in that time, but she doesn't need me hovering over her. And so I think that it's kind of a combination of, my kids being able to visually see their schedule every day, what they're supposed to be doing when. In the beginning of the year, really setting them up like, mommy wants you to be able to find your own pages. Mommy wants you to be able to start a lesson yourself. And even if it takes me a week for them to figure out how to push the buttons on the iPad to get to the portal they need to, I take that time because I know that I'm gonna thank my future self.

And and then I reward. I do a lot of rewarding verbally and a lot of praise for being capable. I don't I I could use the word independent. I generally don't wanna use the word I'm not a word police. Okay?

But I used to use the word independent a lot. But I don't wanna praise my kids for being independent of me because actually a healthy attachment to me, an age appropriate healthy attachment to me is what we want even through the teen years. It looks different. So I started praising my kids. Wow.

Look how capable you are. Look what you were able to do. And I praise them not for right answers, not for getting something done fast, not for how many books you read this week. I praise them for those efforts that I wanna see more of. So I praise them.

Wow. You're so capable. Look. You found that page number all by yourself. Oh my goodness.

Did you learn that all by yourself today? How did you do that? And then I have them tell me back, like, almost their own pedagogy of what they did so that they could verbalize it and then repeat and do it again. But you guys have to remember, have been in education. I have been getting kids to do things independently.

Like, that was my job at my center. So but we do a lot of this coaching in in our community because one thing that I see happens with homeschooling moms is we have this vision that we're the classroom teacher and we need to be standing in front of a whiteboard till 3PM every day. And I actually did a whole master class on this called like fostering independence in your homeschool. That's not serving you well in terms of you having a, a healthy relationship to your homeschooling life and yourself. It's also not serving your kids when we are not equipping them to work independently to and it does mean that you have to allow them and be prepared for and be excited about when they fail because that's part of this whole thing.

So I think the water hot that could be a whole show. So I'll stop there. Hopefully, that was a good enough answer to the question.

It was a great answer. And kind of along those lines of having all of that on your schedule with all that you do, Grace would like to know, when do you get you time?

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Head to truenorthhomeschool.academy or click the link in the show notes to explore courses and get started today. I schedule it. So I have it in the schedule. So I go down to my reformer in the mornings, and my kids know that I'm gonna be gone for forty five minutes on my Pilates reformer, and they know when I'm gonna be back. And I think kind of the secret to, at least what I've discovered the hard way I wanna hear from you guys, is that having that that visual schedule and making those announcements, what it does is it makes kids feel more secure because they know and it causes less interruptions because they know when I'm going to be available again.

And I I'm I I really, really try to keep my word with it. So when that schedule says mommy is totally available for them, I really, really am. So that's the thing is it's so easy to like you're checking emails and then you get this big email and you bleed into when you're a working homeschool mom, it kinda bleeds into the time where you're supposed to be doing a lesson. That happens more often than than I wanna admit. But but I think that the key to to happy, healthy, well structured, functioning homeschools homeschools really running at a clip is having your kids on a pretty regular routine where they know what is expected of them at any given time in the day.

And Scott and I even talk about vacation times are really hard for us. We're we're filming this right now, right before we're supposed to start, two weeks off for Christmas, and it's gonna be mayhem. And it's not May they they're really great at playing with the playing amongst themselves and with the neighborhood kids and all of that. But what tends to fall along the sidelines is, okay, they're out playing and then no one did their chores. Right?

Because chores are typically attached to we keep our chores kind of in our schedule. And so what I'm gonna do this Christmas, because I really want an enjoyable, beautiful time together, I also want an I we will all be happier if we have an orderly and not really messy home for these next two weeks, is I'm challenging myself tomorrow as I'm gonna make like a vacation schedule so that we still have a schedule and there's still times. Okay. The kitchen needs to be cleaned by 02:00. Right?

And so yeah. That's kind of what do you guys do? Jesse, what do you do?

I don't take care of myself. Just kidding.

I know for a fact you do.

Well, I have quite a range of ages. Yes. So, I have a four year old who still really needs me a lot and what I've started to do is just incorporate him into the time like I like to work out in the morning. And I set him up with his little kids friendly exercise video to be right next to me when I'm doing my exercise. And it's become a really anchoring point to our day which is lovely and I love to read.

So, I'll just have them all sit on the couch with me at the same time and I'll just say it's reading time. You have to do something quiet, not on a screen. And it just, yeah, I guess I've found a way to integrate them into the self care that I thrive in.

Yeah. And Jesse, name your ages because I think it'll encourage moms because you are in that high school taxi driver Mhmm. All the way down to an emergent reader. So name your yeah. Name all your ages.

Yeah. So I have 16, 14, 10, and four. And I have the whole range. My 16 year old, thankfully, is driving now, but I'm finding myself missing the taxi driver stage because I don't get as much one on one conversation time with him anymore. That just comes later.

You know, at like 11:00 at night. Yeah. Ready to talk.

That's the worst. Yes. That's the worst.

Oh my gosh. It's a whole new adjustment. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Bombs in the comments, if you're homeschooling teenagers right now or you have teenagers, can you just commiserate with us where Scott and I are totally winding down? I'm off my screen. I don't want the blue light anymore.

I'm trying to read. Calm down. And then Lincoln pops in, and he asks like this

big Mhmm.

Abstract question pondering life. And and we just sit up,

and and

that's that's the time he needs. Yep. Which yeah.

It's fun.

That's also when when they choose to dump a really big thing that's been sitting on their hearts Mhmm.

Yeah.

And they have to dig way down inside where you're like,

I spent.

I already clocked out.

Mhmm. Right?

But it's important. It's important, and it's worth it. Mhmm.

Yeah. And then the interesting thing about our house is that Lincoln loves to go into the sisters' rooms, right as we're all, like, brushing our teeth and getting our pajamas on. And he just makes them laugh and makes them giggle. He becomes like the court jester. And and what's hard is we're trying to wind down, but he's so busy during the days, and he has a quite a workload himself.

You know, he's playing sports. He's in high school coursework. And so Scott and I, we love that time of him connecting with his sisters and giggling, but we're like, go down there. You know, like jumping from the bunk bed onto the the big chair and just all sorts of crazy stuff. And they he has them all in stitches and all riled up before bed.

It's like, ugh. You know? It's these moments are we're gonna miss these. Right? What annoys us right now, we're gonna like, I I was thinking the other day, when was the last Lego I stepped on?

And I got sad. Like, I haven't stepped on a Lego in years. Remember stepping on Legos and just being, put away the Legos because it hurts so bad.

Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah. I'm waiting for that moment when my house actually stays pretty clean because there aren't toys everywhere.

But Mhmm.

Jesse, your house is always clean.

Oh, you're so cute. I clean up every I love

being in Jesse's house. I'm sure you can imagine it just feels like a hug because I'm so loved unconditionally there. And, she just she makes me, what was that last one that you made me? Espresso? You made me a cappuccino.

Mhmm. Yes. Yeah.

Mhmm. Yeah. Coffee's always good. Mhmm. Alright.

What's our next question?

Oh. Well, Julie would like to know, what did you wanna be when you grew up?

So I knew right away, and it never changed. I was going to be a historian. It's all I ever wanted to be. So it was never even a I never had a moment in height in college, like, where I changed majors, nothing like that. And then I knew that I had to go to graduate school.

The challenge was whether I was going to get my PhD or not in in history. But I'm glad that I so I I have a master's degree in history, and I'm glad I I was looking at PhD programs. The the graduate school that I went to didn't have a PhD program, so I was kind of thinking about applying other places and seeing what scholarship money that I could get because Scott and I couldn't rub two pennies together at the time. We were already married. And but what happened is is during graduate school, I to make ends meet, Scott and I were already married.

We got married when we were 22. I got a job teaching history and English language arts at a school, as a teacher while I was pursuing my graduate degree. And I really loved teaching. And so I think that was just God's providence on my life that I didn't get into a really big fat PhD program because that would not have been a fit for me. So when I did graduate, for a hot minute, I got a job as an adjunct professor to freshmen.

And it really opened my eyes to what teaching at the college level in higher education is like. And it was really sad to me because they didn't really care about the education per se or about the students. They cared about their department's reputation and what professors were going to publish and what they were going to publish and what you were constantly working on. And I realized that that's kind of everywhere when I started asking around. And so, unfortunately, I was in one of those positions because my parents didn't know better.

My dad is an engineer. My mom was a nurse. So they didn't know how to like raise a girl who loved the humanities. But one thing that I really love about homeschooling, especially homeschooling kids who are in high school, is that we can give we have the time to give them the opportunities to try things and really learn what you know, have internships and volunteer places where they are considering going into that job. Because I did have a hot minute there where I was like, wait a minute, I just went through an entire graduate program to realize I don't wanna do this.

And so and that is what happened. But, you know, I didn't know that this was gonna happen. And having all of those research skills and all of that, it helps me now. It helped me when we had our educational center, and it helps me now. I am really picky with writing and other people's writing, when it comes to like responsible historical research.

Mhmm.

There are some books in the homeschool space where I think to myself, you were really irresponsible with this history.

Mhmm. Mhmm.

So we don't need to name names, but yeah. We can. Just kidding. Not for free. No.

Oh my goodness. Okay. That was a long answer for that.

It's so great.

What There is a chapter in my book on the history of the public school system.

Yeah.

And it was very Charlotte Mason inspired. I tried to write it like a living history. Mhmm. So I don't know if I did a good job on that. I don't know.

But, that was fun. It was fun to write the history of compulsory schooling in America in a way that felt living Mhmm. And not boring.

Yeah. Mhmm.

So And still be historically accurate. Right.

I'm curious. Did you have, like, a history teacher or something that's a book that sparked your interest in history that you can recall?

So no. I just always found history fascinating. I think it kinda goes to I've always been very pensive. So when I would learn history, I would always think, why did they do that? Like, what situation were they in that they made that decision?

Mhmm. I'm an INFJ on the Myers Briggs, in case you're wondering, which is a very like pensive melancholy personality

type.

Mhmm. And I just always loved historical movies. I would sit and watch those Burns documentaries in my free time. And I just always loved it. And then when I got to college, there was this the head of the history department, I went to Biola University, and the head of the history department for years and years and years was this amazing, amazing gentleman named doctor Boos.

And I received a public school education. I remember this, he was just so gentle with me and so kind, but yet really expected a lot of me. And even though I got really great grades in high school, right, honor roll, all of that, I was a perfectionist. I actually graduated high school not knowing how to write. And right away as a freshman, I was one of the poorest writers in the in my freshman class in his department.

And he wrote on a paper once like, hey, come see me. He bled. He bled on one of my very first papers and, said like, come see me. And he basically gave me just verbally walking through my papers. He taught me how to write academically.

And, I just I really cherish that time that I had with him. And he was just a he came to my wedding. We exchanged Christmas cards for over a decade, after I left. So I really I he was kind of the first educator who cared, who really maybe even I I felt like he saw potential in me rather than expectation. And and so but he wasn't easy on me.

Like, every single time a subject didn't agree with a verb, he just bled. I mean, my don't think that I mean, he bled on my papers, and then I would go back. And I think he also invested in me because I invested invested too. Too. And And so I really tried to implement what he gave me.

Now back at the time, I was still a perfectionist, so I was motivated by grades. I did not wanna see a c on a paper.

Mhmm.

And and I just worked really, really hard for him. Yeah. And so yeah. Don't we all wanna be the type of educator that our kids wanna we're so inspiring that our kids wanna work really hard for us.

Yeah. And to see the potential in them, to invest in them and call that out. Like, they can have that every day with you as a homeschooling mom, instead of just one professor. Cool.

And teaching them to see it in themselves.

So Julie would like to know, what is your favorite, like, no exchange of money form of self care?

So I I would say well, it costs a little bit of money. I can't think of something that costs no money. Because even, you know, working on a puzzle, that puzzle cost me $13. But I will say that what I've noticed a distinction in my life of when I am learning something new and challenging myself and my ideas and when I'm not. So what I would say is that my probably my favorite form of self care and, like, nourishing my soul is reading non fiction.

And it can be any type of non fiction. I love non fiction. So whether that's reading the latest parenting book that just came out or something about a business book, you you know, we talk about these books a lot in Thrive. Like, we want every mom to be reading, you know, Atomic Habits. And I have a couple favorites.

I really like Deep Work and things like that. But I've noticed in my own life that I'm not doing well if I'm not challenged in my ideas, or reframing things, or thinking about something differently. And a great way to do that is through non fiction. I'm also a very fast reader. So I don't love re I don't love non fiction on audio.

And because I've always been a non fiction writer, I know the structure of non fiction. So I like to skip paragraphs like, oh, yeah. Here's where they're opening a the chapter with a story. And sometimes I'll stop and slow down and read them, but I I like to just, like, devour. I would say that I aggressively devour non fiction.

I love it. I read, like, I'll go through a good one, I'll go through in two days.

Yeah. So you're saying your favorite free time activity is aggressive.

Is this going back to Justin's idea of testing? Yep.

I kind of have don't you guys think I have a little bit of an aggressive personality?

Yes. In the sense that you're talking.

Yeah.

That you aggressively go after what you need to go after, what interests you, what you care about. So of course your downtime would you would be nurtured by aggressively going after what nurtures you. Oh, I'm Put that word in those two words together. Some fair aggressive.

I would say you're I would say you're a go getter. That's what I would say. Instead of aggressive, I'd say you're a go getter.

Now I'm gonna put you

at the next level up. We're gonna go with aggressive. I'm gonna disagree with

the other person.

Wait. And let me add to that let me add to that really quick because also one of okay. This is free. This is actually totally free. Something I love to do is dream.

I love to dream. And so often a non fiction will put me in that space. So for example, believe it or not, I got ahead on work this week because I'm heading into vacation. So I'm trying to slow down and and I got ahead. And I actually paused and I was like, wait, Scott's not gonna be home for an hour.

We don't have to start making dinner for an hour. I'm gonna dream. And so I actually got two of my maybe my next book ideas last night. They just came like, and then Scott walks in the door an hour later, and I'm crying. And I said, I think I have the next book.

Right?

And then he just and

then he just smiled because he knows he knows me so well, and he knows that's a good day. Like if I got to dream too, dream and grow.

And I wanna clarify, when I say I go with aggressive, I don't see that as a negative. I just see that as, like, a very intentional and deep seated pursuit of something. Mhmm.

Yes. Which I which

I see in you, and and I admire that in you.

Yes. Mhmm. Okay. So I have a question for you guys, because this might help me in how I present myself publicly. I try to think I'm warm.

I I try to be warm and encouraging, but I get a lot of feedback that I'm intimidating. Jesse, am I intimidating? Know me really well. Like, in per like, in in and, Denise, you spent time with me at a conference. Mhmm.

I would It's not something I actually want to be unless it's the right unless it's a narcissist, and then I'm really pleased that they want nothing to do with me.

I think, what I see is you don't really love the surface level, you know? And you'd rather have real conversation and real connection. And when you first meet people, that's not what they are always looking for. You know what I mean? But I agree.

See that as being perceived as cold. Just because you're like, let's get into the real things that matter here. Mhmm. Yeah.

I agree. But and I I get that a lot too, that I'm intimidating. I'm intimidating. And I really struggled with that because I don't wanna be intimidating, and I don't I don't get it from everybody. But a friend who had climbed the ladder at a major corporation from entry level assistant, administrative assistant to vice president, one of their vice presidents, she said, you know, I get that a lot too.

And what I've learned is the people who say that to me are usually just intimidated people. Mhmm. Or they're they're they come from a place of being intimidated.

Mhmm.

And I'm I'm that was helpful to me. And that, I mean, that doesn't let me off the hook to not try to pay attention and be softer sometimes if I'm picking up on that from someone. But see, that's also in your INFJ personality. You know, cut the fluff. Let's go down to what really matters.

Mhmm. Because that's what, what we connect with. That's what that's where we wanna spend our time, and that's what we wanna invest in. I don't care what the weather is today. I don't care.

Right? But everybody starts with the weather, and there's seven steps, I think. And you have to go down and and INFJs come in at, like, step four or five. We don't we don't like the top ones. And so I don't find you intimidating, but I can see how how some people would because they like to start with the fluff, like Jesse's saying.

Right?

Well and I think that that's something to work on for me, honestly, because I think that's part of the natural exchange that is that way. But also, that's why I chose you guys for Thrive too, to be mentors in there because I I have to remind myself for that empathy piece. I have to remind myself because I wanna go right into like they asked me some advice, I wanna go right into the advice. And what you and Marni are so good at is you're like, no, let's stop and let's just acknowledge that this is hard for a second. Right?

And that doesn't come as naturally to me as it does for the two of you, which I love like the balance that that we have in Thrive. But Marni, you were gonna say something.

I was just gonna say, I think what people see with Christy Faith is different than what they see with Christy. So I think like your public persona, right? Like that's different than if you're in Thrive. Like, you're in Thrive, no mama feels intimidated by you. They feel nurtured.

They feel encouraged. They feel their confidence grow. But I think it's just a difference between, like, if you're going to be speaking somewhere, if you're, you know, on social media, whatever, it's different than, like, when we went and had lunch together. Like, that's just a conversation. And that's what you bring to Thrive.

So I think what people get in Thrive is different than what maybe they're experiencing in the other spaces.

Yeah. And I think it's just different because especially when you're out there making social media content, you it it's those parts of you, at least at least for me, they are authentically real, but you can't always balance out, your real self on social media. You have fifteen seconds, and you have to catch people's attention and stop the scroll. So you're really limited. It's why I did that, the series that we just wrapped up, the six part series that's a little bit more transparent because I was like, social media, I felt like was like shackling me, right, from the freedom to for moms to actually know who I am, what this is like, that our lives are really the same.

We struggle with the same things. We hurt the same way. And, and so that was really that was a very clarifying series. I'm glad that I did it. I'll probably lead people there in the future.

Like, maybe if a new follower comes into the fold, I'll like send them maybe that series. I don't know. I'd love your opinion listeners. Like, did you like that series? And would that be something good if, like, someone is new to my in my ecosystem?

Should I send them links to those shows to get to know me? Or I would love I would love your input listeners. Okay. So that was a little bit of a tangent. What's next on our agenda here?

Alright, Christy. We're gonna throw you some curveballs right now. Are you ready? Okay. Okay.

So so you talk about Scott a lot on your podcast and just in general. And so, I know I'm curious. I know some Thrive moms asked us too. How do you nurture your marriage and your relationship while homeschooling and working and all the things?

Okay. Oh my goodness. So I married the best guy on the planet. I completely hit the jackpot with this guy. So he the the unique thing about me and Scott is that and maybe this is our downside too, is that we both love entrepreneurship.

We both love building businesses. And so our happiest years were when we shared jobs. And so we like working that way. So we both work out of the home. And we're you know, when the kids have a math question, they ask him.

And we just enjoy doing life together, and we have a lot of time together in the day. Like, we can even just say like, hey, let's ditch the kids and go out to first watch for breakfast and just do that, or we can you know, our kids are now old enough where we can leave them alone. We have a 14 year old babysitter in the house, so we can do that type of a thing. When when the kids were little, we because the physical and mental load was just so heavy, we actually had to like schedule a date night, have that time. My mom came over, watched the kids so that Scott and I could have time together.

Because it was just such exhausting work. Because you got to remember, we had so it was Lincoln. We had four kids, five and under. So there's a big gap between Lincoln and the twins, but then there's only an eighteen month gap between the twins and my youngest. So it's kinda it was kinda like having triplets there for a while.

So that was hard where we really had to carve it out. But here's what's crazy is like Scott and I have the same interests. So we love talking about the same things. We it's very easy. It it's and I don't know if this is it's probably typical of a lot of marriages where it's just a like, I'll just say, I miss you.

Or I'll say, I'm not feeling connected to you today. And then we'll just figure that out. Like, he'll say, you know, okay, let's let's go out to dinner or let's go on a walk or whatever. But we also do have a lot of together time in our day to day because he doesn't leave the house to work and neither do I. So I definitely consider that a privilege where we'd I don't feel the pressure that if I don't schedule a date night with my husband, I'll never see him.

We don't face that. Now I we did have years like that. Because if you recall, Jesse, when we first moved to Colorado, we didn't sell our company for, think, two years in, and Scott traveled every week. And so back then, Lincoln was five. The twins were two.

My youngest was seven months at the time. And Scott traveled during the week. And so we had to be really intentional back then. And I just think it's hard. And I think that for a mom listening who's really struggling and she's feeling disconnected with her husband, I think, yeah, you just do what you need to do in that season to feel connected.

And and sometimes I'll notice, like if I just get like miffed or annoyed at things in life, I'll just realize it's because I haven't really connected with Scott. He's been such a source because we got married at 22. I will say that we have been a part of each other's trauma healing journey from our childhoods. We've grown together, and we've been such a healing part in each other's lives that he really is a refuge and a safe place for me. And I hope I'm not for him, but that's it's we I think we do I don't know.

Do you think that's unique or does that what a normal, like healthy marriage looks like? I often wonder because we're both entrepreneurs and business owners and go getters, and we're, you know I often wonder like, is this the experience that other people have too? Is it? I don't think it's the norm. I

mean, you guys have

it. I don't

think it's the norm to do life together all day every day. Right? Yeah. Most people don't get to do that. They probably could as a couple, but they don't they don't have that.

That's kind of a gift. Right? Especially when when you're so compatible to be able to just do life together all day, every day.

And, Denise, you know this. This is why I have you in the community because of what happened with your story and your ex husband. And, you know, we people have brought it up like, hey, would you guys ever do, like, marriage speaking? And honestly, I don't feel qualified because and and they they kindly pushed back on me with that. They're like, actually rethink that.

But we Scott and I haven't had a, like, rocky spot in twenty six years. We just had our twenty sixth wedding anniversary. And I know that's really special and that's a blessing. I consider that like, I thank God every day. Like, this was your like anointing Lord.

Like you this is not I know that part's not typical where, you know, couples are like forced into marriage counseling because they're about to break up, or there's like bouts of being separated and things like that. We've never we've never I just I just love the guy and he loves me. And he he you know, in college, I was kinda known a little bit. And this is not true because I'm not that, because I actually know the definition of it. But I was kind of known as like, oh, that Christy, she's like the feminist of the school in college.

I am not a feminist. I know the waves of feminism. I am pretty familiar with biblical manhood and womanhood. I am not a feminist. But, I also don't believe in the patriarchy, so let's leave that there for now.

But, but what was really cute is that Scott always that would make him smirk. Like, even what people would, like, insult me about, he was always like he found it adorable. You know. So he finds these things about me adorable. He's just and he's so cute.

He's he's just so great. And a lot of people don't know, I'm three inches taller than my husband. And so talk about, like, confidence as a dude, like, walking up in college. And I remember he blew away my friends. We were all sitting at one of those 12 cedar tables in the in the cafeteria at Biola University.

And he literally grabs his tray, turns around, walks across the room to our table of 12. So 12 seats. There weren't 12 girls there. I forget how many girls were there, but pretty full. Pretty full and intimidating.

He walks up next to me and he goes, may I have a seat? Can I eat with you? And I was like, sure. And he sits down, the only guy at the table. And, oh my goodness, my girlfriends were like, like, you better believe this is what we talked about for three days afterwards.

Like, can you believe that? You know, he was the transfer student. He transferred in as a sophomore. And he was like the transfer student on campus, like, that year. Anyway, he's just been he's there's no one like him.

There's no one like him. Yeah. Mhmm.

And

I love the guy.

Mhmm.

And he's

And being with

feeds me when I'm angry.

Does. Yeah. It's a big mission.

Yeah. And when I'm on my cycle when I'm on my cycle men, close your ears, listen to when I'm on my cycle, he he'll say, I know the feelings are real. He just acknowledges my feelings.

That's so sweet. That's so sweet. Oh

gosh. Well, I have a I have a a more corny question for you. I wanna know what's the weirdest food combo that you actually enjoy?

Okay. I don't think I enjoy weird food combos. Really? Because I Yeah.

Mine used to be before I became dairy intolerant. Potato chips, dill pickle, and sour cream altogether.

I don't I honestly do not have a weird You don't eat weird stuff together? I don't. You know, where you see on TikTok where they're like this magical combination, you gotta try it? I Like I even on my Chick fil A, I'm putting Polynesian sauce and mayonnaise. I'm not doing anything.

You're just a straight up foodie.

Well, try Okay. So but here's the thing. I will try anything. Like, I love a lavender in my coffee, or I'll try any of that stuff. I can't eat sushi.

I love sushi. I love sushi. But my nutritional therapist, because I had this whole gut healing journey, she had a heart to heart with me and Scott, and she goes, you cannot eat raw fish anymore. I am so sorry, but you cannot eat raw fish. Now I know the comment section is probably gonna like explode, like you can.

It's a choice we've made. Like when we do sushi, we we're getting it cooked because we had a very long battle with parasites.

Mhmm.

So I don't know if that's still a thing. She told us that let's see. When our healing journey was ending, like gut healing about I don't know. Maybe that was like four years ago that we were going through that. But I have not eaten a bite of sushi since and my life is not better.

I love sushi.

Life is not better.

What's a small everyday thing that's bringing you an unreasonable amount of joy?

Black coffee. Puzzling. Puzzling. And I love this will be the last one I mentioned. I love when I say, hey, kids.

I'm going to King's real fast. King's Soupers is our grocery store. It's like a Ralph's. I go, I'm going to King's. Who wants to come?

And then they just wanna come along. Just come along. And I love so I love just walking through the grocery store with one of my kids. Not more than one, just one. And then I can spoil them and buy them a poppy or let them pick a chocolate.

And that's just a small I could just I love it. I love time spent. I love oh, you know what I love too? Oh, okay. I'm going longer than I wanted to.

I love it when they come when they're upset. This is terrible. I love it when they're upset. And and they come to me for help support and problem solving. And they like just these are my little girl, and they just crash into me.

I'm dysregulated, mommy. I need help. Or one of the twins, she's really good at saying, I'm overwhelmed and I need help problem solving. And, and she'll just come in just crying and upset. And, I don't know, is that codependent?

I love it. I love

No. I love it.

Yeah. Call it codependent. I'll go to therapy. Call me whatever you want. But, it's just sweet that they come to me for help.

They feel safe and connected, and you've equipped them with words to express it. So that's awesome.

Okay. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done that we're allowed to talk about here? Gossip.

Yeah. I get I am there's times in my life, like, maybe one or two times where I was, like, caught. Oh, yeah. Or the person found out that I gossiped about them. I carry so much shame and regret.

Gossip.

That's a powerful one. That's a good one. Yeah.

Alright. Let's switch gears for a second here. We're gonna do a rapid fire round of quick questions where I am supposed to give short answers with no overthinking. That's good. That's gonna be sad.

Christy, don't do don't ruminate. Okay. I'll try You

can do it. You can do it. Yeah. Okay.

Alright. Who's who's up first?

I'll start. What is your current coffee order?

Black. Yeah.

And your favorite fiction book of this year?

Anything by Abby Jimenez. That's my twaddle. I love it. I love it. It's like not dirty romance.

It's so cute. It's it's like not as cheesy as a Hallmark movie, but still cheesy enough where you can just get lost.

Guilty pleasure TV show. All

day long, every day, all day for the last ten years, call the midwife. I will watch it. I will rewatch it. I will start from show one, go all the way through the how many seasons are they at now? Twelve, thirteen.

Mhmm. And I will watch every show. There's something soothing about women screaming in labor. I don't know. But it's like like this balance of I love call the midwife.

I love it. Yeah. You guys watch that? Yeah.

Oh, I don't wanna hear women screaming in labor.

I almost cry in every episode of that show.

Anyway Yes. I cry. Yes. I'll be on an airplane crying, and Lincoln because he travels with us for conferences. He'll look over, and he'll know exactly what I'm watching on the iPad.

He's like, there she goes again.

That's great.

Well, that makes sense because you love a good sad book. You want

the I love it. I love a bad sad sad ending.

Oh, I hate it. But good for you.

Okay. Best purchase under $50 this year.

Okay. Well, it was one of the things I gave you guys this year for Christmas. One of the items. Those beautiful gold rechargeable lamps.

Mhmm. Mhmm.

I move those all over the house. I bring it to my puzzle. I'll put it on my island with food to make it pretty a pretty presentation for guests. My girls will take them and put them in their forts as lights. They are just we're now in a routine where someone I think Lincoln, because he shuts down all the lights before bed.

He just plugs them in and charges them every night. And they're pretty. Aren't they pretty?

They're so pretty.

And the brass matches everything. Yeah. Should we put a link in the show notes to those lamps? They are so pretty. And they were yeah.

They were around $50 for the set. Pretty good.

That's a good deal. Mhmm.

Yeah. Okay. Last one. If you weren't homeschooling, what would you be doing?

Okay. So if I wasn't I cannot imagine a life where I'm not homeschooling. That's really, really hard to imagine. I think that I would be less healed. I think that homeschooling has made me a better mother, a better wife, a better person.

I I don't want anyone to take that wrong. I think you can grow, heal all the things and have any educational choice for your kids. But I think it's just my personality of like, to grow combined with homeschooling, so then I figure out how to grow in the homeschooling. It's just a natural thing. So but I think I'd probably be if my my kids would definitely be probably in a classical private school if I wasn't homeschooling.

And then I'd be, you know, rolling my eyes half the time with them there. I would be volunteering, probably running like women's bible studies, I would think is what I would be doing. I would be vacationing more. Yeah. Maybe I'd be caught up in my kids' school drama a little bit more.

I have that luxury that I hear I overhear conversations, and there's a lot of angst I've noticed, like, with kids socially or with their teacher that year or with classes or with a grade in school or something. And I think that I'd be a lot more caught up trying to problem solve those things that I felt like I couldn't control. So yeah. I'd be leading things, volunteering. Yeah.

Do you think you'd be writing books?

I don't no. I don't.

You don't see that? Mhmm.

Favorite non fiction book this year?

Favorite non fiction book this year for

sure. Yeah.

Soul Care by Deborah Is that how you say her last name? Soul Care by Deborah Folletta. And I was told I was a guest on someone else's podcast, and after we stopped filming, she was just sharing her own personal journey, and she had shared how she had almost reached burnout and that that book saved her. And she loved it, and she was just like almost in tears telling me all about her transformation. And so, you know, I'm like ordering it while she's talking.

And, I devoured it in two days. It's a really good book. Really, really sweet, kind, gentle, but smart. Smart book. I think it really hits at the modern Christian it's a Christian book.

So it really hits at the issues that we are having as modern Christian women.

Mhmm. Good. Unpopular homeschool opinion.

Unpopular homeschool opinion. Besides people thinking you need a lesson plan, which you don't. Fact, that's the first thing we tell moms not to do in Thrive. But you know what I think is is unpopular? That you need a fancy planner.

Yeah. I would say that. That you need. I don't know what I wrote in my notes. I'm forgetting.

Let me look at

I know one of your unpopular homeschool opinions.

Well, I don't wanna say a repeat one. Maybe the planner the planner piece.

What is your biggest epiphany this year? Homeschool or life?

Okay. So it's both. So I was thinking about this yesterday with a guest that I had on my podcast. I think that the biggest thing that I've learned this year or my biggest epiphany is that we all struggle. What our real struggle is, all of us, is unworthiness and how we don't even realize how it trickles into our everyday life and everyday decisions.

And it's recent, my discovery of this, like within the last six months or so. It's even changed like my messaging, which you guys have seen with how I talk about Thrive, and how one

of

our biggest challenges with Thrive is the mom realizing that she's worthy to learn how to homeschool well. And that this is the most important job in the world. You wouldn't, you know, on Friday decide you wanna be a surgeon, and then on Monday, you're hand patients and tools, and then be like, okay. Go and do it perfectly. But for some reason, we do that with homeschooling.

We expect that of ourselves right out of the gate or we mistakenly think that the answer to homeschooling well is in an outside answer. Like, I just need to find the right curriculum. So then you get into that curriculum jumping trap Mhmm. Where the real work and the real change is within you. Out of this realization of the worthiness is what came the solidification of the six pillars of homeschool success.

And you guys have kind of watched all of this evolve. They were always there, but they weren't actually put in a in that framework before so that we can talk about what it means to be a confident, capable, joy filled, peaceful homeschooler. You know? And the answer is mom or the primary homeschooler. It could be dad.

It can be somebody else. But the the primary educator, that's and and so we just give and give and give to our kids, and and we don't realize that we're exhausting ourselves giving to everybody else and trying to give everybody else what they need. And I almost wanna avoid the word self care with it because it's not self care. It's actually not feeling worthy to equip yourself so that you can do the job well. You almost think that it's not you that's gonna do the job well.

Like, it's so deep. It's so, so deep, our feeling of unworthiness. And it's even the battle that in my transparency series that I just did those six episodes, that's even that battle of, like, where is my identity? And as a content creator, that battle and an author and all of that who from the outside, it looks like there's been a lot of success, you know, but it's very empty. And why?

Why? Because as long as I am chasing those things, they're empty. I will never if my identity is in those, I'm basically just ensuring that I live a miserable life. Right? Ultimately.

So that's like a super deep answer. But I even had a guest on the show. We filmed it yesterday. I don't know when it's gonna air. But it's on, like, sports psychology, like how to raise healthy sports kids.

And sure enough, like, we went there at the end. Like, parents are so obsessive over their kid's sports performance ultimately because of their unworthiness. Like, because why do you care so much about how your kids perform? Like, I hate to say it, but it's kinda more about you than the kid. Right?

And then what does that do to your kid? So, anyway, that's that's kind of the biggest epiphany that I've had. I didn't realize it went that deep in terms of homeschooling well and what it really takes.

That doesn't surprise me though because what you've built in Thrive helps moms to feel confident and worthy. So it makes sense to me. What is the most underrated thing in the homeschool world?

Well, besides what I just said, moms equipping themselves to do it well, I don't think there's enough conversation around it. I think that I think that the homeschool world wants to make homeschooling like, oh, it's so easy. Just do it. Your kid's gonna be better off. You just fumble your way through.

Don't worry. You'll figure it all out. And none of us want that. None of us feel comfortable in that space. That's why we homeschool with so much angst.

So, like, the deep answer is that. But like a little silly answer is like the most if I was to pick an item, it would be one of those little time timers. Like in my early years, I had five of those around the house and where they could see the time Mhmm. Dwindle and they knew exactly how much time they had. We my high schooler still uses those.

Like, he does a certain amount of time with math. He likes to visually see it. Because when you have your timer on your phone, your phone goes dark or you don't see it. And then you're constantly tapping your phone to see how much time you have left. When you just have one of those basic visual timers, it's it's a game changer.

I think it's just one of those easy fixes. Like, just give me your best for the next five minutes, kiddo. Let's do this, and let's give a high five after. If you have to start at five minutes, two minutes. You know, there's moms there's moms we coach where their kid cannot work independently at all.

And we say, literally one minute, if you can walk outside the room and they just did one little thing by themselves and you walk in and you praise them for it, that's going to grow. It will stretch. It will grow. I just love those time timers. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. What do you think is one of the biggest game changers in making homeschool mom life easier?

Structure. Now I'm now I've I've I've convicted myself with this is supposed to be rapid fire.

Should I keep going? Yeah. Next. Okay. What's the most annoying part of your Oh,

this is so juicy, you guys. Okay. So when you're we have like almost 500,000 followers now across platforms. Oh my goodness. When these brands with whatever they're doing that's popped up new that like, I don't know, they built on AI or something.

They I get these DMs, and they're like, hey. We've built this amazing curriculum. We wanna gift you okay. This is this is this is gold. We wanna gift you with trying this curriculum out.

Right? The curriculum is like a whole year long curriculum or it takes like eight months to go through it. Gift you. And then you have the potential to make this amount of dollars. And sometimes they'll even put like the dollar amount through, sharing this blessing with your audience on social media.

Oh my goodness. It cracks me up. And, you know, if you're taking this as shade, please do. Don't do that to us. Like, don't do that to us.

Like, what I'm gonna use my kids as okay. First of all, let's think through this for a second. Okay? I'm gonna use my kids as a guinea pig for a program that I don't even know anything about, and you're gonna honor me with, like, commissions? Like, I'm a you know, first off, I'm not a commission salesperson.

Right? Like, I don't love affiliate marketing. I know that's it's a fine business model for some creators. That's how some creators, even homeschool creators have built. It it's if you're wondering what that is, it's like, you know, when you click on someone's link tree and they have links to, like, 30 things, and it's like use code blank.

Well, that content creator is making a commission on each of those sales that are made. And so I just I don't understand where brands are coming from exactly with that. Like, can you put yourself in my shoes for a hot minute? Like, why would I take all of this time like I have it in the first place, risk my kid's education with your thing. Right?

And then so we just don't we often don't reply, or we'll reply with, you know, Christy vets everything really carefully. And we kind of, like, vet them with, would would you wanna be considered as possibly being a sponsor for Christy's podcast. So, like, we kind of reply back with, you you gotta put some skin in the game here. Like, Christy's not gonna be your free salesperson. And so we vet a lot.

A lot just disappear that way. And honestly, that is a business model, and that's a fine business model, but it's not my business model. And I actually think that it's really devalues content creators, honestly. There is yeah. So I've been pitched some pretty wild things and promised, you know, millions and millions of dollars for being an affiliate for this, that, or the other.

And I just find I just I just find it annoying.

It is annoying. But what's a hill you will die on?

A hill. Oh, besides reading?

Any hill? What's a hill you A will die

hill I will die on is till the day that I die, I will be a child advocate. And me being a child advocate in the homeschooling space means my calling is to equip the mother or the primary educator. That is a hill that I will die on for sure.

Mhmm.

Because the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Yeah. What's what's one thing in the homeschool world that seems to work for everybody but not for you? The planners.

And they're beautiful, and they're so tempting. The planners. I don't know why. And Marni, you love the planners.

But I don't use it for my homeschool. I use it for my work. And memory. Oh. Yeah.

Yes. Loved the planners. Love And the

if I had them here for you to look at today, you'd be like, Denise, you didn't write in this. But I liked the planner. It was cool. So, no. I didn't use them either.

Really wish I wish that I could just, you know you see these beautiful curated videos of like, I'm beginning my day with my matcha tea, and they open up this gorgeous planner that's just the graphic design on it is beautiful, and you're like, I wanna be you. And I just can't. I don't I've I bought them.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, what's something that you've figured out that makes your day to day easier Structure. Besides your spreadsheet?

Day to day easier. Okay. Yeah. So it I we kinda touched on it earlier is from when my kids were very, very little, we did foster, independent play, independent discovery. We set our kids up for that.

And so that's always been part of our family culture. So now that my youngest is 10, and the twins are in junior high, and I have a high schooler, when I say, I'm gonna go do a two hour writing power hour, they all know what they're gonna do. They all have plans in their head on what they're gonna be doing in their free time. And we set them up for success, so we get them, you know, subscription boxes, like crates that they wait for to be able to do, or things like that. We have readers.

I I always make sure that I have a fountain of books that they can read. So I do we do invest in fostering that. Now, wanna say that with the caveat of one thing, is that not there is, there is there are some instances where children are not able to play independently, and that could be a sign of something deeper going on with their learning or a particular diagnosis. I know, for example, PANDAS, that diagnosis, one of the things that doctors actually look for when they're diagnosing it is, like, separation anxiety and lack of independent play. It's literally part of the diagnosis.

Last I checked, you can correct me if I'm wrong in the comments if it's changed since, I last looked at how they diagnosed that. But so I also wanna tell mamas that if you're banging your head against the wall and this is something you've been working on for years, it's not your fault. Like, it could actually be something going on with your kiddo. And, we we don't have those issues in our house. So I have been able to foster that with all of my kids.

And then I also, on the flip side, I accept a more messier house. So when I'm doing that two hour power writing hour, I'm gonna come downstairs and it's gonna look like we've been robbed. And I you know, but that's signs of fun. And Marni, you taught me this early on in the early days of you being in Thrive, like, know how you're so good at reframing? So rather than walking down and my heart going, oh, like, this is terrible.

I literally stop myself. I've been I've been getting so much better at this. And I say, look at all this imaginative play. Look at what you guys you know, I was able to go right, and you guys just had so much fun. And then let's clean up.

You know? But really, that's what it is. Right? That's what it is. And so and then this is not one thing that that I don't want you to hear is this is not toxic positivity.

It's not. We really do need to reframe. You know, we need to reframe things in our life, and it really makes us happier in our day to day when we do that. So that's a little nugget Marnie taught me when you walk into a messy room, how to reframe it. You know, the big fort that they spent four hours building for mom to walk in, and then they feel almost insulted that they used the clean sheets for the fort.

And, you know, all that stuff goes through because especially when you're a young mom, you worked so hard to get all those sheets clean and fold all of them. Your kids aren't old enough to do the folding, do the that. Just that little reframe can really change a lot, but also foster more connection because we want our kids to feel like we delight in them. And one of those ways is to be interested in what they're interested in. Even if we're not really interested in it, we fake it.

And and then all of a sudden, we'll find, you know, six months down the line that we don't have to fake it anymore. Yeah. At our center, we taught our tutors that because there were some kids that just weren't that likable. And we would say, you know what? Say these things when they come in.

You'd be surprised how they step up to what you speak over them. Like, when they walk through the door, say, I'm just really happy to see you today. Oh, I've been looking forward to seeing you all day. And then sure enough, after six months, you actually start the child becomes more pleasant because they feel more loved, and they actually are the tutor ends up looking forward to seeing the kid. Right?

Yeah.

So true. Alright. Last question.

Okay.

The type of messages on social media you never respond to. Can I pick your brain?

Do I need to expand? No. Yeah. Will you give me all everything that you've learned the hard way over twenty years in business and academics? And will you just hand it to me on a silver platter for free?

No. No. I will not.

Okay.

Is that mean? I'll probably feel bad about saying that after.

No. That's not mean.

It's sound very mean. Don't please don't ask to pick my brain. Don't please don't. And don't ask anybody that.

Ask to schedule a consultation.

Yeah. Yeah. And there's a couple people where I've called their bluff, and they have paid. Great.

Awesome. Yeah. As they should.

That's what time with me is worth. That's what advice from me is worth. And I have a lot to give, but I'm not gonna be giving it for free. Nor should I. That's devaluing myself.

So

Yeah. Well, and it's devaluing your intellectual property and

Yeah.

What you have to give. Right? Yeah. We value it. The moms in Thrive value it.

They pay to be there because it's worth it. It's way beyond worth it. We think so.

All of us. So we believe.

Before. You guys, this was the hundredth episode. This was so weird. The turning the tables was a little bit fun, and I'm gonna be like, did I just talk about myself for a full hour? I'm gonna be like face palming this till for the next ten years, this show.

But it's what listeners asked for, so I here you go. You got it. Any last words from you guys, each of you, celebrating our hundredth show?

I'm just excited. I'm excited to celebrate with you. You've worked so hard, and I'm just it's so fun to hear Thrive, how these episodes have helped moms. And so I know it helps other other moms out there too, but we just get to hear the stories in Thrive. And so it's been it's been really fun to get to to share this day with you.

I just feel so much hope for what the next year and the next years hold just looking back on even just the last year, but let's go back through a 100 episodes and how you have just continued to to kind of respond to express need from homeschool moms and and offer yourself and and what you know and what you care about. And I just have so much hope for for the future, for for the Christie faith brand and everything that you're doing. Because even though, I know you have already offered and invested volumes and volumes, I feel and know that there's so much more because you are continuing to learn, and you're continuing to listen, and you're continuing to research, and you're so dedicated to the mission and the calling of what you're doing. And I'm really grateful for that. Mhmm.

And I'm hopeful.

Yeah. And as someone who was there at the beginning when you first showed me kinda secretly at gymnastics, I think that's the viral. I don't know what to do. I was like, girl, this is what you are made for. Yeah.

I just know, like Denise said, there's so much more to come. Like, we're just scratching the surface and it's cool to be on this journey with you ladies and I just feel like the community creates lifelong friends and that's something that you've built Christy because you are not that surface level right away, right? You you want the real depth and the real emotion and the real hurt and the real struggle and we acknowledge it and address it together and we can grow and be stronger together and we're changing the world. One child at a time together. So cool to be a part of and celebrate with you.

Well, you know

So thanks for bringing us along.

Oh my goodness. There you go. My goodness. You ladies, you just, you breathe life into me. And I feel like, you know, we all need support systems and these three ladies here are definitely that for me.

They're who I call on a and cry on a Saturday morning and or ask advice from, or what do you think about this? And so I'm just I'm so incredibly thankful that we are cheerleaders for each other, and that you are in my inner circle, and I can trust you with all of the things. It means a lot. And if ladies listening, if you don't have that, if you don't have that inner circle of trusted friends, if you need community, if you feel like no one really gets you, Thrive is closed right now, but go ahead and get on the wait list. And it will open up again in several months, probably in the spring at some point.

And we we wanna be that for you. We we're ready and willing and desire to help you and pour into you. It is it means very much to us. It's not a job that we take lightly at all. And Thrive is closed right now, but if you click the link in the show notes, which I'll put in the show notes, it will put you on the wait list or you will insert yourself and put yourself on the wait list.

And, that will guarantee a spot when we reopen Thrive if that's something for you. But until then, because you can't join, just keep listening along in the ecosystem. And I thank you so much. Thank you ladies for coming today. I feel so loved.

I feel so nourished, and I'm just beyond beyond blessed by having you ladies in my life. And I hope and pray that I can be that for you too. So I love the three of you. I love you, mama, listening right now, folding your laundry. I see you.

You're driving. You're drinking your coffee right now. We see you and we love you and we care about you. And that's why we do this show. And that's why we pour into homeschool moms.

So you have a really great week, mama. Okay? And we will see you next time. Bye bye. Bye.