On the 119th episode of the What is a Good Life? podcast, I’m delighted to welcome Tom Asacker. Often described as a creative force, albeit a wayward one, Asacker has been an artist, CEO, corporate advisor, award-winning inventor, and professional magician. He’s a student of the human psyche and the author of several best-selling books on belief, human behaviour, and personal transformation. Since childhood, he’s been collecting and deciphering observations about all of the strange ways that people think about and behave in the world. For the past 25 years, he’s been endlessly improvising, searching for ways to communicate an art of living that confronts conditioning and embraces freedom. His latest attempt is his new book, Unwinding Want: Using Your Mind to Escape Your Thoughts.
In this illuminating conversation, Tom shares the incoherence of his childhood experiences and how they led him to question the nature of beliefs and the human condition. We discuss the role of the thinking mind, the illusion of control, and the significance of feelings over societal conditioning in guiding actions, as well as the prioritisation of relationship over goals.
Ultimately, this conversation is an invitation for our inner spirits to emerge and to live the lives we truly want.
00:00 Why do people believe what they believe?
03:41 Seeking stability or something to lean on
06:15 The calming of the thinking mind
09:35 Feeling what we want and responding to that
13:50 Revealing of the illusion
24:30 Feeling alive and focus of attention
28:38 Allowing an expression of our feelings
34:20 We do things for a feeling that doesn’t come
37:50 The prioritising of relationship
47:50 Wants from feelings versus conditioning
52:20 The role of suffering and confusion in revealing
58:39 Playing with our minds rather than controlling
1:04:34 What is a good life for Tom?
What is What is a Good Life??
This isn’t a podcast about fixing you. It’s about living life more fully.
What Is a Good Life? is a long-form conversation project exploring how people actually live, feel, and make meaning of their lives.
Over the past four years, I’ve sat with more than 300 people — artists, parents, executives, wanderers, therapists, and strangers — and invited them into a simple but profound inquiry: What is a good life for you?
These conversations aren’t about advice, formulas, or self-improvement. They explore presence, paradox, uncertainty, and the moments that quietly shape a life — love and loss, trust and fear, clarity and not knowing.
This podcast isn’t here to give you answers.
It’s here to slow you down, to listen deeply, and to invite you into conversation with your own life.
New episodes weekly.