1 00:00:00,291 --> 00:00:02,875 The age of chimpanzees. 2 00:00:02,875 --> 00:00:05,875 I was a monkey. 3 00:00:06,625 --> 00:00:09,625 I will say this 4 00:00:09,625 --> 00:00:12,958 even though it's never the same. 5 00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:15,833 Always sound the same, we always look different. 6 00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:19,250 There's always like some editing tweaks that have to happen. 7 00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:23,333 This feels like coming home. 8 00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:25,333 Like, I know I've missed you. 9 00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:28,041 I know. Just the two of us. 10 00:00:28,041 --> 00:00:31,250 The two of us can make it if we try. 11 00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:32,375 what? 12 00:00:32,375 --> 00:00:36,750 One of the beautiful parts of ADHD is that even though I've experienced 13 00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:39,750 something before, experiencing it again feels like the first time. 14 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:40,708 It really. 15 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,833 It feels like the first time? 16 00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,791 Yeah, it really does sometimes. 17 00:00:44,791 --> 00:00:46,500 Yeah. Watching movies again. 18 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,458 And you love watching movies over and over, 19 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:52,458 and I don't, but when I watch a movie and Lindsay's like, “No, 20 00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:54,416 we saw that one”, I'm like, I don't know that I did. 21 00:00:54,416 --> 00:00:55,583 You must have watched it without me. 22 00:00:55,583 --> 00:00:57,833 And then I just can't, I can't remember. 23 00:00:57,833 --> 00:01:03,250 And then there will be one tiny thing right at the very end and the climax. 24 00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:06,250 I'm like, I know who has seen this. 25 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,791 This happened to me more times. 26 00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:10,166 Than I am comfortable. 27 00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:13,125 And then and then you get into like an existential crisis of like, 28 00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:14,125 do I say anything? 29 00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:18,000 Because we've gone the whole movie and I just cut on, the last 15 minutes. 30 00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:21,208 Or do I just play dumb and be like, that was a really good first time 31 00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:24,208 I've ever viewed that fine cinematic feature. 32 00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:26,166 Yeah, I know, but yeah. 33 00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:30,083 So that made me want to go back to the beginning of ADHd20. 34 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:33,375 I bet I would learn some things all over again. 35 00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:36,875 We would probably relearn some. 36 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:40,375 Well, you're kind of in luck, because the topic 37 00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:45,250 that I wanted to speak about today is definitely a re addressing 38 00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:48,416 of, of 39 00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:52,041 topics that we have gone through in the past. 40 00:01:52,166 --> 00:01:56,625 So maybe this is the beginning of of that journey for. 41 00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:59,208 You a better. I love this journey for both of us. 42 00:01:59,208 --> 00:02:00,916 let's do the one thing 43 00:02:00,916 --> 00:02:03,916 that we have consistently been able to remember every single show. 44 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:04,916 Yeah. Since we. 45 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,916 And part of the episode with our sweet friend Tay, 46 00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:11,458 who we got to hang out with over the weekend to film 47 00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:14,458 the finale of The Adventures of Blood and Herbs Season one. 48 00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:18,291 for our bestie’s forthcoming podcast, I'm 49 00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,333 going to go ahead and say this publicly right now. 50 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:23,333 Anna Fitzgerald is the number one fan of ADHd20 51 00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:27,041 I, Alison Leigh Kendrick, and the number one fan of The Adventures of Bud and Herb. 52 00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:29,125 There it is. 53 00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:30,166 You will not unseat me. 54 00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:32,291 That will not unseat me. 55 00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:35,000 Roll me that beautiful… What dice you're rolling with today, sir. 56 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,083 What you got there today? 57 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:37,416 Today? 58 00:02:37,416 --> 00:02:40,416 I've actually got quite a few options. 59 00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:44,416 Today I'm going to use my wooden dice. 60 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:49,166 And I'm going to use my dragon scale dice. 61 00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,250 Oh, you're. You're mixing. 62 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:54,208 I've never been mix and match. I've never done that before. 63 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,291 Oh. That's dangerous. 64 00:02:55,291 --> 00:02:57,291 Yeah, I guess I shouldn't do that, should I? 65 00:02:57,291 --> 00:03:00,833 I think I love the energy I'm going to start inspiring me to, like, 66 00:03:01,083 --> 00:03:03,041 okay, this match sets. 67 00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:06,041 What did you get? 68 00:03:07,416 --> 00:03:10,416 [sound of dice rolling] I got a 67. 69 00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:14,250 Okay. 70 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:18,625 I love how the universe is always, always, 71 00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:22,875 always listening to us getting woo woo early today. 72 00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:26,958 We just had a conversation 73 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:31,166 about like, how did people not know earlier in our lives? 74 00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:37,333 And today's question is what's your biggest ADHD AHA! 75 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,333 moments 76 00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:40,625 in life? 77 00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:43,625 Yeah. 78 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:46,708 Oh, the biggest one. 79 00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:50,458 Yeah, the biggest one. 80 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,750 I mean, this podcast has made that so easy, 81 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:56,750 but I really think that the. 82 00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:02,083 Okay a little bit of clarification. 83 00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:05,083 So by AHA, 84 00:04:05,541 --> 00:04:08,416 we mean. 85 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:11,833 Oh my gosh I didn't realize explains that. 86 00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:15,750 I, I think it's asking for me. 87 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:19,458 Is there like a specific because it's saying the biggest AHA moment. 88 00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:22,458 Like is there a moment that you can think of. 89 00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:26,000 We've both lived a lot of moments where like you were like, oh my God. 90 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,791 And that's masking. 91 00:04:27,791 --> 00:04:31,041 Or now that you look back, you were like, in that moment 92 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:34,500 I was masking hard core and I wasn't aware of it. 93 00:04:34,916 --> 00:04:35,416 Okay. 94 00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:39,416 Well, I guess then I should step back and say, I have told this story before, 95 00:04:39,416 --> 00:04:42,625 but my moment, the moment where I was like, 96 00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:46,250 oh no. 97 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:50,666 Was when I was reading ADHD: A Hunter 98 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:54,416 in a Farmer's World by Tom Hartman. 99 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,250 Oh, I don't know. 100 00:04:56,250 --> 00:05:01,416 And I was I my roommate had ADHD 101 00:05:01,583 --> 00:05:06,291 and this was on our joint book 102 00:05:06,791 --> 00:05:09,750 shelf, and I just picked it up, 103 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:12,750 started going through it, and 104 00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:16,333 stories started freaking out. 105 00:05:17,041 --> 00:05:19,500 What? 106 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:22,125 Yeah, I, I, I think I, you know, 107 00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:25,125 I say this a lot, but I, I, 108 00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:27,041 I very specifically 109 00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:30,041 remember literally dropping the book. 110 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,000 In in shock and and knew 111 00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:37,416 knew that my life was changed forever. 112 00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:38,125 How about you. 113 00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:41,125 I know that I've shared the ones before about like 114 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,458 finally figuring out how to tether my inability to do 115 00:05:44,458 --> 00:05:50,166 certain tasks by myself to ADHD from like, I need someone to come over and like, 116 00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:53,250 just sit on my couch and watch my TV while I clean the house. 117 00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:53,750 That's a good one. 118 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,333 Good one. You know, my inability 119 00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:58,708 to walk into a restaurant alone, my friends have to text me. 120 00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:02,166 Those are all big. Just glass shattering. 121 00:06:02,166 --> 00:06:06,375 But I think for me, the biggest moment around ADHD 122 00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:08,125 has definitely been around the conversations 123 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:12,958 we've had about rejection, sensitive dysphoria, and learning. 124 00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:16,750 Because this is something like I was a highly sensitive child. 125 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,583 I was always labeled melodramatic, overdramatic, dramatic, like. 126 00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:24,708 And I remember like, friends in high school and beyond, 127 00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:26,875 like, why are why are you so much? Why just, 128 00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:29,875 you know, can't you just be a duck and let the water roll off your back? 129 00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:33,750 And so learning that this is that RSD first of all is a real thing. 130 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:38,250 And I'm genetically predisposition for it with my ADHD 131 00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:42,416 was definitely my biggest like it's not yeah there's nothing wrong with me. 132 00:06:42,416 --> 00:06:46,916 This is just the neural pathways that information takes around my brain. 133 00:06:46,916 --> 00:06:50,416 I think that's so big and beautiful. Yes, 134 00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:55,708 we at ADHd20, which by the way, is a podcast 135 00:06:55,708 --> 00:07:01,416 that finds the intersection between ADHD and TTRPGs. 136 00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:07,208 Yes, we believe ADHD in many ways is a disability. 137 00:07:07,250 --> 00:07:10,333 We believe this and we try to speak that truth. 138 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:19,375 we do not feel that anyone should abuse this thing. 139 00:07:19,916 --> 00:07:22,375 So it's one thing to say my brain works this way. 140 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,375 It's another thing to hide behind. Yep. 141 00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:27,000 My brain works this way. 142 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:32,125 Yes. And, it is oftentimes a very fine line, but I did just kind of 143 00:07:32,125 --> 00:07:37,166 want to say that because it does somewhat fit into the topic of today, 144 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,791 but I think it fits into 145 00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:43,708 our personal voyages. 146 00:07:43,708 --> 00:07:45,750 Our fantastic voyages, if you will. 147 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:48,958 Fantastic voyages that we that we want 148 00:07:48,958 --> 00:07:54,333 to understand and appreciate and use 149 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:58,291 that understanding for forgiveness, but mostly for ourselves. 150 00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,833 Not to ask other people to. 151 00:08:01,791 --> 00:08:03,458 Well, I can't do that. 152 00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:04,500 Ain't engineers. 153 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,500 Leave me alone and I'm not going to know what you want me to do. 154 00:08:07,916 --> 00:08:10,916 Go to Hell. …that. 155 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,041 we've talked about this. 156 00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:15,833 Could you not do your impressions of me on the episode? 157 00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:19,166 [laughing] 158 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,125 I'm sorry. 159 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,125 It's just an old habits die anyway, 160 00:08:23,750 --> 00:08:25,666 so I love that. 161 00:08:25,666 --> 00:08:28,666 I love AHA moments, and. 162 00:08:29,708 --> 00:08:30,750 Those are good ones. 163 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:35,500 So we had a question chosen at random from a table of 100 164 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:39,083 talking about our favorite ADHD one moments. Yes. 165 00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:43,500 Leading into a topic of an AHA moment that you have 166 00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:46,666 both had and continue to have. 167 00:08:46,666 --> 00:08:48,083 Gosh, that's a good segue. 168 00:08:48,083 --> 00:08:50,375 Wow, master. 169 00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:52,166 Full. Masterful. 170 00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:55,166 Yes. I have recently had an AHA moment. 171 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:57,333 It's not like I have not been aware. 172 00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,958 That's what's so interesting about moments sometimes to me, 173 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:05,166 there's always a part of me that knows, right? 174 00:09:05,166 --> 00:09:08,166 There's always a part of me deep down and it's like 175 00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:10,208 Yeah, that is a thing. 176 00:09:10,208 --> 00:09:15,750 And it just depends on how much I want to give energy 177 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:21,083 to that thing or, or ignore that thing or forgive myself for that thing. 178 00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:23,333 This is 179 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:26,333 something I've talked about before is my 180 00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,833 inherent 181 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:32,416 ability and desire to learn. 182 00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:34,208 That's really what it is at the core. 183 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,416 I want to learn new things all the time. 184 00:09:36,416 --> 00:09:38,500 I want to experience new things. 185 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:42,000 Now, this is not a surprise to anyone who has ADHD 186 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,458 or anyone that's ever heard about ADHD that ooh, 187 00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:48,458 shiny or ooh, squirrel, 188 00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:50,833 ooh thunder. 189 00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:53,125 Or just like big crack just now. 190 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,625 Oh, duh. 191 00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:55,000 Yeah. 192 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,541 You're going to get washed away. Goodbye! 193 00:09:57,541 --> 00:09:58,750 Sea a voyage. 194 00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:00,833 fantastic. 195 00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:03,833 So, yeah. 196 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,958 I get to be a Pirate apparently…yar! 197 00:10:07,958 --> 00:10:10,000 I go so 198 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,083 the thing where. 199 00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:14,125 Ooh shiny, ooh squirrel gets 200 00:10:15,125 --> 00:10:20,333 people with ADHD in trouble is, when you are actually able 201 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:24,958 to wrap the concept of work around it, you can. 202 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:28,083 Case. Is that right? Case. 203 00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:31,083 like the sausage casing. 204 00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:37,458 Yes. Just like sausage case in case. 205 00:10:37,458 --> 00:10:40,250 Basically, the thing is that 206 00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:42,791 I love learning. I love new things. 207 00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:47,416 I love software, I love technical difficulty. 208 00:10:47,625 --> 00:10:49,708 I spend time doing it. 209 00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:52,583 I brag about watching 210 00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:56,250 YouTube videos, not about Taylor Swift. 211 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,041 No, there's nothing wrong about that. 212 00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:01,208 But I watch YouTube videos on 213 00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:04,708 project management systems 214 00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:08,250 and database applications. 215 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:13,500 That's what I do for fun and I take that knowledge 216 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:17,166 and I say, well, this is going to apply to my work 217 00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:23,250 or this is going to apply to my game world building, 218 00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:27,833 or this is going to apply to anything in my life. 219 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:28,916 Okay. 220 00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:33,041 And my moment recently was that 221 00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:37,958 that can often be misguided. 222 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:41,416 In my world it's just what I want. 223 00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:44,041 What I want to do is what I like doing. I love doing that. 224 00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:49,500 It makes work fun for me to think about new things and to come up with new things. 225 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,291 And, and it's also a way that I find a community. 226 00:11:52,291 --> 00:11:52,791 Right? 227 00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:54,500 I love this app called Tana. 228 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,500 It's incredibly complicated. 229 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:59,125 I'm part of their slack channel. 230 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:03,333 I have new friends that have ADHD and use Tana. 231 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:04,791 You have? 232 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,708 Yeah, and I've totally forgotten all of my old friends. Friends? 233 00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:09,083 No new friends. That I. 234 00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:13,291 See. Agreement or no new friends. 235 00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:18,625 So there are many benefits to this over tweaking this. 236 00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:21,666 But this learning, this 237 00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:24,791 impetus, this limitless 238 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:29,125 quest for 239 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,166 knowledge nerdery. 240 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:33,833 But the problems are 241 00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:37,500 that it can take time away from things I really want to do. 242 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,500 Period. 243 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,500 That's the bad news that I have to share with everybody today, 244 00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:47,000 that if you are similar to me, which 245 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,208 you are blessed arc, 246 00:12:50,208 --> 00:12:54,125 because this does not seem to be an issue for you at all. 247 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,208 And I'm so envious. 248 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:56,916 If there's one thing 249 00:12:56,916 --> 00:13:00,291 I could change about my brain, it would be to have a little bit of that. 250 00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:03,875 My brother also has no need. 251 00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:07,416 He can futz and tweak on lots of other things. But. 252 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,416 But not in this way. 253 00:13:10,416 --> 00:13:15,125 So the story is that I was tasked to build a project 254 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:18,125 management system for our team, 255 00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:21,291 and it has been half a year or more, 256 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:27,041 and I still have not deliver that because I have rebuilt a notion. 257 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:33,000 Project management system at least five times in the last six months. 258 00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,208 Yeah. 259 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,500 And that's just that becomes a problem. 260 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,500 You know, it's not like I do it all day, every day. 261 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:42,500 And it's not like work doesn't get done. 262 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:47,458 It's really the issue with it really is that I have a whiteboard here 263 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:53,875 of the things that I really want to get done, which is be a better game master. 264 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,041 Put out more videos about 265 00:13:58,041 --> 00:14:01,041 the tabletop role playing games that I love. 266 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:07,250 Make videos about software concerning tabletop role playing. 267 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:11,583 But if I don't, if I'm just fussing with notion, 268 00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:14,666 it's it's me just wasting time. 269 00:14:14,666 --> 00:14:16,166 It's just wasting time. 270 00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:20,875 So I had this moment and I just said, 271 00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:25,666 oh my gosh, this is such a problem in my life. 272 00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:32,583 And I just decided to get serious about it and get real about it. 273 00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:36,208 So that's what we were talking about today is just that feeling. 274 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:39,500 Whether you have any of this, 275 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,791 Alison, and also, of course, how 276 00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:47,666 that has applied to my being a game master and the tools that I use 277 00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:51,583 because recently you have introduced me to 278 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:56,166 arguably the most simple 279 00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:58,750 virtual tabletop, 280 00:14:58,750 --> 00:14:59,750 Albert Rodeo. 281 00:15:00,791 --> 00:15:03,500 And we used foundry yesterday and I was like, 282 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:07,333 damn, I wish this was out there because I am clicking 283 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:10,875 and cooking and clicking and setting up all this beautiful stuff. 284 00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:14,916 And it's not making it better for, for anyone. 285 00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:17,208 It's just not making any. It's not making it better. 286 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,333 And I want to do the things. 287 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,416 I mean, look, I've overcome a lot of this. 288 00:15:23,416 --> 00:15:24,458 Yeah. 289 00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:27,083 In the last two years since doing this podcast. 290 00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:31,875 Like I've overcome a lot of this need, but it's still there 291 00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:34,875 and it's probably going to be something I have to fight. So. 292 00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:36,625 Do you think. 293 00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,375 Alison. 294 00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:38,875 I'll. 295 00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:41,250 I'll talk in my nice, soothing voice for a moment. 296 00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:44,250 Okay. Thank you. Welcome to therapy, Matt. 297 00:15:44,583 --> 00:15:45,208 I'm proud of you. 298 00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:47,875 These are big, important steps you're taking. 299 00:15:49,041 --> 00:15:49,875 I don't say that. 300 00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:52,875 I mean, I'm talking in jest, but I almost feel like 301 00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:57,000 I should have walked in here to, like, a banner, you know, like 302 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,166 this is an intervention. Yeah. 303 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:02,166 but but a self-imposed intervention, to be very clear. 304 00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:07,916 I, I yeah, I, I was as I was thinking about this episode before we hit record, 305 00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:10,875 you know, there was a, there was an episode last season where 306 00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:14,833 Matt basically felt like I called him to the principal's office to have a word, 307 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,583 please, Mr. Bivins. 308 00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:20,583 And I feel like Matt has called himself to the principal's office. 309 00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:25,291 I have, I have actually done I've called myself to the to the principal's office. 310 00:16:25,291 --> 00:16:28,291 And and even though this is a topic that we have talked about 311 00:16:28,708 --> 00:16:33,458 one on one with our team, with this community, over and over again, 312 00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:37,166 there still is something new about this discussion to me today. 313 00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:40,500 And that is because you have said many times 314 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,791 now that that my lack of desire 315 00:16:43,791 --> 00:16:46,791 to futz is something that you envy. 316 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:51,833 So I'm almost wondering if maybe the thing to do here, 317 00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:56,666 the thing that we're solving for is like how to pull us 318 00:16:56,666 --> 00:17:02,541 both closer to the middle, because I am so staunchly opposed to you 319 00:17:03,958 --> 00:17:05,458 that I don't even start. 320 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,125 And that's also a big problem in and of itself. 321 00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:12,083 And I think that that my inability to begin 322 00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:16,416 and my utter just panic and shut down the. 323 00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:20,041 Yeah, during Stacy's, 324 00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:23,041 when I see a blank page. 325 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:27,625 Is. Just as deeply problematic as I'm going to flex and fonts and fonts 326 00:17:27,625 --> 00:17:29,750 and fonts forever because because at the end of the day, 327 00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:33,791 neither like the problem is we don't know what Dun looks like. 328 00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:36,458 We don't know what Dun looks like. We don't know what Dun looks like. 329 00:17:36,458 --> 00:17:39,250 We don't know what it looks like. So if I never start it. 330 00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:42,833 You know, and I never finish, you never finish it. 331 00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:46,250 Either way, we never get to check the box. 332 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,416 and that's that's problematic for ourselves 333 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:52,416 as people, for ourselves, as teammates and for everybody 334 00:17:53,458 --> 00:17:56,166 that has to work with us and our our 335 00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:59,166 our team and our clients alike. 336 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,500 It's interesting. Yeah, it's. 337 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,583 And I've had a lot of conversations 338 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:07,166 to that tune of like, why do these, like, seemingly 339 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:12,250 small things just, like, shut you down, you know, and you just can't take 340 00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:15,833 and then I can, but I can do, like, other big things. 341 00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:17,666 you know. 342 00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:18,041 Yeah. 343 00:18:18,041 --> 00:18:21,625 So it's it's a problem. 344 00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,625 I guess what we're going to. We're going to try and solve for it. 345 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,166 okay. 346 00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:29,250 So, you know, I began that that little diatribe there in jest, but, like, 347 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,000 I am proud of you. 348 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,791 It is a big step that we do need to like, continue to go to therapy 349 00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:37,041 about these things. Yeah. 350 00:18:37,041 --> 00:18:40,041 and so even though that was a little like, you know, flippant approach to it, 351 00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:42,000 I mean it too. 352 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,208 and. I am I am going to coaching and therapy about this. 353 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:45,625 Yeah. 354 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:51,541 And it is, it is, you know, my my, my coach who we who've all met Brittany. 355 00:18:51,541 --> 00:18:57,500 She's a she's a gear, not a tool not to. 356 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,500 And so when we talk about it, she understands it. 357 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:01,041 Yeah. 358 00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:04,583 and but but her job is to try to just minimize it. 359 00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:07,583 And I think I think a part of it, too, is that 360 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,000 it has been so long. 361 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:14,125 Is that thunder? 362 00:19:14,125 --> 00:19:17,125 Can you hear. Me? 363 00:19:17,583 --> 00:19:17,750 it's. 364 00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:20,750 Like shaking my house right now. Yeah. 365 00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:21,833 Oh, man. Yeah. 366 00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:22,583 So if I. 367 00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:25,541 If you lose me, I lost power. 368 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:27,416 Okay. Okay. 369 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,041 I'll never lose. You know? 370 00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:32,041 But first I go back. 371 00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:33,708 Oh, well. 372 00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:34,708 But here's the thing. 373 00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:38,125 Thanks in part to Brittany's help, I now have things 374 00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:41,875 that I genuinely care about a lot. 375 00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:44,333 A lot. 376 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,958 You know, and I've narrowed them 377 00:19:47,958 --> 00:19:50,958 down to just a couple of buckets. 378 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:52,666 Just a few buckets. 379 00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:55,333 Yeah. And. 380 00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:57,375 Wow. It's so loud. 381 00:19:57,375 --> 00:20:02,125 And I'm recording a podcast for God's sake. 382 00:20:02,708 --> 00:20:04,708 Come on. Rude. 383 00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:06,000 So rad. 384 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:10,416 So, you know, the problem with me doing this now 385 00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:15,500 is that when I have been working on things I did not actually enjoy. 386 00:20:15,541 --> 00:20:18,125 Yeah. It was an escape. 387 00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:19,916 I'm not saying that's better. 388 00:20:19,916 --> 00:20:22,125 But I'm saying at least my brain was working. 389 00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:23,458 At least I was doing stuff. 390 00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:28,125 I mean, if somebody walked in off the street and said, hey, buddy, 391 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:32,375 I need a notion template for project management. 392 00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:33,375 Yeah. 393 00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:36,083 By end of day today, I got that. 394 00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:37,083 I can do that. 395 00:20:37,083 --> 00:20:38,000 That's wonderful. 396 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,833 A lot of people can't do that. So that's great. But 397 00:20:41,791 --> 00:20:44,333 it's not helping my situation. 398 00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:45,625 And now. 399 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:48,833 Now that I care way more 400 00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:53,333 about things in my life, I want to move forward. 401 00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:55,166 Way more than notion. 402 00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:58,625 Then I need to stop doing things like that. 403 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,458 Or at least be curtailed. 404 00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:03,083 Or at least be hand-held. 405 00:21:03,083 --> 00:21:04,500 Yeah. 406 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,833 Had someone hold my hand to stop me. 407 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,083 Or just check it before I record. 408 00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:09,958 Check before you record. 409 00:21:09,958 --> 00:21:13,916 And it's interesting because as you were trying your damnedest over the past 410 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:18,500 honestly longer than six months because you start to know it's like here. 411 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,333 It's like oh. 412 00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,541 All you are ever doing was trying to give everybody everything we ever wanted. 413 00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:25,166 That's all a simple request, 414 00:21:25,166 --> 00:21:30,458 like just just make four people with four very different brains. 415 00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:34,291 Plus, futureproof it for anybody else who's going to need to put their hands in 416 00:21:34,291 --> 00:21:35,750 on and around it. 417 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:36,458 Perfect, Matt. 418 00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:38,791 That's all. Why are you being dramatic here? 419 00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:43,000 but to that extent, to that end. 420 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:46,583 That's why I love a template. 421 00:21:46,583 --> 00:21:49,583 That's why I always wanted a dashboard. 422 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:53,333 Because in my brain, when I come to a screen and go, 423 00:21:53,541 --> 00:21:55,500 yeah, I don't know what to do. 424 00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:56,625 Like, I don't know where to go. 425 00:21:56,625 --> 00:21:59,666 And then I get, you know, about it. 426 00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:01,750 And so that was what I was always asking for. 427 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,375 So you were trying to, you know, 428 00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:06,000 and that's where Evan and I both kept saying, like, isn't 429 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,833 there just like a template of this we can use? 430 00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:10,500 Like, why does it have to be built from scratch? 431 00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,791 Yeah. You know, but and things like that. So. 432 00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:13,208 Right. 433 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,875 And every single person I've talked to about this 434 00:22:15,875 --> 00:22:19,708 says that mentions that the, the thing my response is, 435 00:22:20,416 --> 00:22:23,375 I heard you and I went back once again 436 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:28,375 to the drawing board and I pulled out pure notion 437 00:22:28,708 --> 00:22:33,375 templates, not even a third party, just pure notion branded templates. 438 00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:34,833 we're talking about notion here. 439 00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:36,416 If no one knows what notion is. 440 00:22:39,208 --> 00:22:39,916 just look it up. 441 00:22:39,916 --> 00:22:42,916 Sorry, we don't have touch. So if, like. 442 00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:44,416 It's out on and already. 443 00:22:44,416 --> 00:22:45,666 Sorry. Yeah, forget about it. 444 00:22:45,666 --> 00:22:48,500 But but, you know, it could be notion. 445 00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,083 It could be tonic. It could be clickup. It could be literally. 446 00:22:51,083 --> 00:22:51,916 It could be. 447 00:22:51,916 --> 00:22:54,333 It could be foundry virtual tabletop. 448 00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:56,125 It could, you know, interchangeable. 449 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,833 As far as as far as what we're actually talking about. 450 00:22:58,833 --> 00:23:03,083 Well, and the bigger question is how do for people with very different brains work 451 00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:07,083 together effectively and deliver things in a client facing world? 452 00:23:07,083 --> 00:23:11,000 That's ultimately the thing that we're solving for here. Yes. 453 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,125 And that that is tough. 454 00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:12,750 That is tough. 455 00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:16,166 But but the the response that I would give to people 456 00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:19,208 when they said, hey, can't you just use templates? 457 00:23:19,208 --> 00:23:23,500 I went out and I got these templates and I and I, I put them together. 458 00:23:24,208 --> 00:23:28,333 But yes, like you say, we've got content creation. 459 00:23:28,333 --> 00:23:30,041 We've got we've got things 460 00:23:30,041 --> 00:23:33,416 that heavily involve a calendar, we've got tasks we've got 461 00:23:33,958 --> 00:23:38,333 we've got a client project and then we've got a not client project. 462 00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:40,583 And how do they all fit together? 463 00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:44,375 But but the even bigger problem for me was 464 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:48,416 even if I had the actual ability 465 00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:52,666 to just hook together a few notion templates, 466 00:23:52,875 --> 00:23:58,791 call it a day, my love of watching people like Thomas Frank 467 00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:03,291 or this German fella named Matthias Frank, 468 00:24:04,291 --> 00:24:05,500 they're all named Frank. 469 00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:06,833 I guess I am. I'm not kidding. 470 00:24:06,833 --> 00:24:09,666 I know or or Ali Abdal 471 00:24:09,666 --> 00:24:12,791 or these, these people who are, like, putting out productivity. 472 00:24:12,833 --> 00:24:14,375 It is porn. 473 00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:17,083 I'm not the first person to say that it is porn. 474 00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:19,916 And they've come up with beautiful, genius 475 00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:23,000 ways of using this stuff notion itself. 476 00:24:23,291 --> 00:24:28,416 Next week or a month later, or the month after is going to come up with a mind 477 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:31,833 blowing new feature that will fix dozens 478 00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:34,833 of little things that that bug me. 479 00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:39,458 And it's always about that, isn't it's always about this, this. 480 00:24:39,458 --> 00:24:44,041 You get to a point and you're given all of these tools, 481 00:24:44,041 --> 00:24:48,416 but then you hit a little snag and it's just the snag that is 482 00:24:49,583 --> 00:24:52,083 it just it just drives me insane. 483 00:24:52,083 --> 00:24:55,041 That is ADHD as well, right? That is the 484 00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:58,208 that is that is the 485 00:24:58,208 --> 00:25:05,125 the inability for me to use an an app that is not esthetically pleasing 486 00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:09,125 to look at or has a terrible user experience. 487 00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:13,708 I can't do it, I won't, I won't choose it, I won't do it. 488 00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:15,750 It's just how my brain works. 489 00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:21,125 And so I'll hit a snag and try to work and hack that snag. 490 00:25:22,041 --> 00:25:25,041 This applies to everything in my work life, 491 00:25:25,541 --> 00:25:28,416 and it definitely applies to Dungeons and Dragons. 492 00:25:28,416 --> 00:25:32,000 And it definitely applies to ways that we play 493 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,416 Dungeons and Dragons and other games. Right. 494 00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:38,000 I do it all the freaking time. 495 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,750 Yeah. 496 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:40,916 And so I have two choices. 497 00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:42,625 I can beat myself up, 498 00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:45,583 which I'm not going to do because we're not doing that no more. 499 00:25:45,583 --> 00:25:47,041 Not we're not doing that. 500 00:25:47,041 --> 00:25:50,208 We you're not doing people who are listening right now. 501 00:25:50,208 --> 00:25:52,291 You're not going to do that no more. 502 00:25:52,291 --> 00:25:53,958 We starting today taking that away. 503 00:25:53,958 --> 00:25:57,958 But that we we've done a lot better about beating ourselves up. 504 00:25:58,291 --> 00:25:59,458 And so that's wonderful. 505 00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:03,458 But I could either do that or I can just 506 00:26:03,458 --> 00:26:06,458 say, look, let's keep the eye on the prize. 507 00:26:06,708 --> 00:26:08,875 How can I make things easier? 508 00:26:08,875 --> 00:26:10,250 How can I get what I want? 509 00:26:11,666 --> 00:26:12,125 And just 510 00:26:12,125 --> 00:26:15,125 learn to be okay with simpler things, 511 00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:18,208 simpler tools? 512 00:26:19,416 --> 00:26:22,416 I'm not saying I'm there yet, but I 513 00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:26,625 it's just on my mind so much these days. 514 00:26:26,625 --> 00:26:28,750 And I just would love to be on a journey. 515 00:26:28,750 --> 00:26:31,750 I looked up on the internet. 516 00:26:32,208 --> 00:26:34,291 What was my search? 517 00:26:34,291 --> 00:26:35,625 Why notion? 518 00:26:35,625 --> 00:26:37,250 Again, I'm not picking on notion. 519 00:26:37,250 --> 00:26:39,625 Notion is incredible. 520 00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:41,541 It is truly miraculous. 521 00:26:41,541 --> 00:26:44,458 I have loved notion since 522 00:26:44,458 --> 00:26:48,083 the year it came out, literally, but for my brain is very hard. 523 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:50,250 Why notion is bad for ADHD. 524 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:54,416 000, there's documentation on this so much. 525 00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:55,250 There's so much. 526 00:26:55,250 --> 00:27:00,000 Oh, and and I will say this, 527 00:27:01,791 --> 00:27:04,791 it is it is somewhat mixed. 528 00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:05,333 Okay. 529 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:08,458 But the general I would say the first page page 530 00:27:08,458 --> 00:27:11,541 of Google results, there's one, 531 00:27:12,375 --> 00:27:22,708 23456, seven 532 00:27:22,833 --> 00:27:26,750 out of the what ten in the list that are negative. 533 00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:28,208 But then there's some people who are like, 534 00:27:29,541 --> 00:27:32,291 I use notion to improve ADHD. 535 00:27:32,291 --> 00:27:35,625 So I'm not saying that isn't isn't impossible, 536 00:27:35,625 --> 00:27:38,625 but I, I want to find that place. Yeah. 537 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:44,333 Where I can have fun but also get get the job done 538 00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:46,333 and not fall into little holes. 539 00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:48,833 And so questioning our whys of things. 540 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:52,333 I love, love, love that you kind of came into this with. 541 00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:54,416 Like I have this master list. 542 00:27:54,416 --> 00:27:57,208 I have the things that matter most to me. 543 00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:59,875 the one that you started out this episode talking about, like being a great dungeon 544 00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:02,875 master, being a great, you know, partner. 545 00:28:02,875 --> 00:28:06,583 our kind of shared success with our business and with Pocket Dimension, 546 00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:08,458 all of those things. Right. 547 00:28:08,458 --> 00:28:11,666 Because when you can find the whys that can help you then. 548 00:28:11,666 --> 00:28:15,958 And motivation is something that obviously we struggle with not necessarily 549 00:28:16,125 --> 00:28:20,625 having or lacking motivation, but correctly distributing it. 550 00:28:21,041 --> 00:28:23,958 So that way we don't put all of our motivation in one bucket. 551 00:28:25,041 --> 00:28:26,125 I have realized, you know, 552 00:28:26,125 --> 00:28:30,666 you called this affliction, it's an addiction, 553 00:28:30,666 --> 00:28:34,166 you know, that's why you called it, you know, organizational porn. 554 00:28:34,166 --> 00:28:38,041 And like I am the same way with like my addiction 555 00:28:38,041 --> 00:28:41,750 to social media and like it's a cortisol response. 556 00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:45,500 It is like the way that I am just, just trying any thing 557 00:28:45,541 --> 00:28:48,750 to dump dopamine into my system. 558 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,250 Yeah. To feel better. 559 00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:52,875 Even though I know that it never makes me feel better. 560 00:28:52,875 --> 00:28:56,333 Scrolling on TikTok or Instagram or Facebook for hours 561 00:28:56,666 --> 00:28:58,583 doesn't make me feel more connected. 562 00:28:58,583 --> 00:29:01,333 If anything, I'm learning, it makes me feel less connected. 563 00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:04,083 So lately I've been trying to get to the root like so. 564 00:29:04,083 --> 00:29:07,083 When I am scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, what am I really needing? 565 00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:08,666 Am I needing to be entertained? 566 00:29:08,666 --> 00:29:10,500 Could I get that same feeling through a book? 567 00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:12,541 Could I get it through watching a movie? 568 00:29:12,541 --> 00:29:14,333 Am I needing to feel connected to somebody? 569 00:29:14,333 --> 00:29:17,166 Is there someone specific that I'm lacking that connection with? 570 00:29:17,166 --> 00:29:18,916 Could I just reach out to them directly? 571 00:29:19,875 --> 00:29:21,500 you know, like all of these different things. 572 00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:24,791 So it makes me wonder what like, the underlying issue 573 00:29:24,791 --> 00:29:27,791 is here of this. 574 00:29:28,416 --> 00:29:29,875 It's not perfectionism. 575 00:29:29,875 --> 00:29:32,916 I know that it is, but but the fussing, the tinkering, the like, 576 00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:36,250 you know, like, what is the underlying issue? 577 00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:39,250 And if we can solve for that 578 00:29:39,625 --> 00:29:42,500 here and now, right now, today, let's let's do it. 579 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:44,333 Let's just let's just figure out what it is. 580 00:29:44,333 --> 00:29:49,375 But but that like but I say that to say that like I know I'm addicted to my phone. 581 00:29:49,375 --> 00:29:51,625 I know that I am constantly looking at my phone 582 00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:54,083 and I'm wondering when I'm going to get a text 583 00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:55,708 or when someone's going to post something so great 584 00:29:55,708 --> 00:29:58,958 that I'm going to be the first one to share it, or that some new 585 00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:01,041 something is going to drop and I'm going to see it. 586 00:30:01,041 --> 00:30:06,000 Like, I know this about myself, and I am actively in a place right now 587 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,333 where I am trying to kind of do what you're doing and lay down my arms, 588 00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:15,791 white flag up, surrender, because social media does interest me. 589 00:30:15,791 --> 00:30:18,708 So it's just like this, you know, like, do I need to put like, 590 00:30:18,708 --> 00:30:20,666 you know, do I need to time timer myself there? 591 00:30:20,666 --> 00:30:25,583 I know people who have recognized an addiction to social media 592 00:30:26,250 --> 00:30:30,083 who have timers on their phone and so like, yeah, iPhone. 593 00:30:30,375 --> 00:30:30,791 Okay. 594 00:30:30,791 --> 00:30:33,333 You've now spent your hour a day on TikTok. 595 00:30:33,333 --> 00:30:34,750 You can spend no more. 596 00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:37,583 I have other friends who have just, you know, 597 00:30:37,583 --> 00:30:40,041 taken these apps off of their phone. 598 00:30:40,041 --> 00:30:42,416 So that way only, like in front of. 599 00:30:42,416 --> 00:30:43,708 And I feel like I've been able 600 00:30:43,708 --> 00:30:46,791 to, to do that successfully in my life in other ways. 601 00:30:46,791 --> 00:30:49,708 But social media is just the one I keep coming back. 602 00:30:49,708 --> 00:30:50,750 So like it's tough. 603 00:30:50,750 --> 00:30:53,916 My name is Alison and I used to be a workaholic. 604 00:30:55,250 --> 00:30:55,875 I worked 605 00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:59,833 around the clock and was very cranky and very miserable a lot of the time. 606 00:30:59,833 --> 00:31:01,583 It was not a happy place for me to be in, 607 00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:05,000 and it was not a happy place for any of my loved ones to be in with me. 608 00:31:05,458 --> 00:31:09,708 And so when I moved to exclusively working from home, 609 00:31:09,708 --> 00:31:13,250 I developed two or rules for myself that I have stuck by 610 00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:15,833 and that have served me incredibly, incredibly well. 611 00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:19,166 One I have to put on different pajamas and the ones I woke up in. 612 00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:23,708 I have daytime pajamas and nighttime pajamas now. 613 00:31:23,708 --> 00:31:24,416 Great, right? 614 00:31:24,416 --> 00:31:28,208 I can't go about my day in the thing that I woke up in. 615 00:31:28,916 --> 00:31:31,250 It's not healthy for me, and it just leads me 616 00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:34,250 down a path of, like, unraveling. 617 00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:36,708 Two I can only work in my office. 618 00:31:36,708 --> 00:31:40,625 I am so delighted that now, thanks to you, Matthew, I have a desktop. 619 00:31:41,291 --> 00:31:45,833 This baby, it's not going anywhere and I can only work in here 620 00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:49,416 because I was at a point where my laptop just came everywhere 621 00:31:49,416 --> 00:31:52,458 with me and all over every surface, and it was never productive work. 622 00:31:52,458 --> 00:31:55,166 It was never it was never good work. 623 00:31:55,166 --> 00:31:58,416 And I was, as a result of me, like 624 00:31:59,416 --> 00:32:02,541 forcing myself to feel better by working hard. 625 00:32:02,541 --> 00:32:05,125 Look how productive I am. 626 00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:08,875 I wasn't big, but I had that illusion of I'm 627 00:32:08,875 --> 00:32:12,208 getting stuff done because I'm always plugged in right? 628 00:32:13,291 --> 00:32:15,958 And so once I like shattered that and said, no, you're 629 00:32:15,958 --> 00:32:19,416 working hours are relatively 8 to 5, give or take. 630 00:32:19,416 --> 00:32:20,333 I'm a freelancer. 631 00:32:20,333 --> 00:32:23,333 Sometimes it takes more than that, sometimes it takes less. 632 00:32:23,583 --> 00:32:25,625 I get up in the morning and I come into my office. 633 00:32:25,625 --> 00:32:28,625 I do my work here and then I leave this room. 634 00:32:28,791 --> 00:32:30,750 I mean, that's even why I got rid of the bed 635 00:32:30,750 --> 00:32:32,541 that used to be back here, because that was my guest bed. 636 00:32:32,541 --> 00:32:35,250 And I was like, no, this is officially like a dedicated space. 637 00:32:35,250 --> 00:32:38,166 It is only for working and creating content. 638 00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:40,125 I'm not going to share 639 00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:43,125 its energy with people who sleep here. 640 00:32:43,916 --> 00:32:47,166 not to say like, okay, well, I figured everything out, like journey 641 00:32:47,166 --> 00:32:51,541 done, but like, but I am speaking from a position of 642 00:32:51,958 --> 00:32:54,958 experience with this, that when I put those two rules 643 00:32:54,958 --> 00:32:58,375 into place for my work life, it made everything better 644 00:32:59,125 --> 00:33:01,250 because I was dealing with it from a very holistic way. 645 00:33:01,250 --> 00:33:02,833 So it made my work life better, 646 00:33:02,833 --> 00:33:05,458 it made my personal life better, and those two things. 647 00:33:05,458 --> 00:33:09,750 So that's what I'm wondering here, is like, and you came to to me and, 648 00:33:09,750 --> 00:33:12,750 you know, kind of initially telling me about this and saying, like, 649 00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:14,125 we have to figure out a system where 650 00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:18,250 I, I am locked down, where I'm locked out of nothing, where. 651 00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:20,500 Yeah. And that's what we start to talk through is like, okay. 652 00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:22,041 Because right now the, the 653 00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:25,041 you guys have been listening to us talk about notion for so long now. 654 00:33:25,041 --> 00:33:26,750 And right now we're at a decision point. 655 00:33:26,750 --> 00:33:30,416 Do we start with notion and the past eight plus months of work 656 00:33:30,416 --> 00:33:35,250 that Matt has poured into it, along with Fitz and along with it 657 00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:39,208 a little bit me and Evan like trying to get our bearings in there. 658 00:33:39,208 --> 00:33:39,541 Right. 659 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,666 You know, and that was where earlier Matt and I were talking, 660 00:33:42,666 --> 00:33:44,500 I was like don't let's not baby with the bathwater. 661 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,875 This situation like there's good stuff in there. 662 00:33:46,875 --> 00:33:51,208 But I understand there it will always be the desire you know to to keep fussing 663 00:33:51,208 --> 00:33:54,958 or do we just go with something so dumbed down. 664 00:33:55,375 --> 00:33:57,583 Yeah that like we can't hack it. 665 00:33:57,583 --> 00:33:59,666 We can't, we can't, we cannot. 666 00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:04,125 But that because of its lack of basic functionalities 667 00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:08,541 in the year of our Lord 2024, you know, is going to make our life harder. 668 00:34:08,541 --> 00:34:12,250 Like there's already been gnashing of teeth and stomping of feet 669 00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:15,458 in the last week of using it, which is a lot. 670 00:34:16,333 --> 00:34:19,708 Yeah, we're not going to mention the app, but it is shocking. 671 00:34:19,791 --> 00:34:24,375 It's there with literal teeth gnashing, like actual tantrums. 672 00:34:24,791 --> 00:34:24,958 Yeah. 673 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000 But it's glorious. 674 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,291 And it's in unhackable, right? 675 00:34:29,291 --> 00:34:33,458 It's glorious and that's why I sort it out. 676 00:34:33,458 --> 00:34:34,541 So, so, yeah. 677 00:34:34,541 --> 00:34:36,916 So decision point that we'll make as a team. 678 00:34:36,916 --> 00:34:38,500 But then, like, 679 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:41,500 I guess this is your homework, Matt is that like, 680 00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:44,541 what are the, like, two rules that we can put on you 681 00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:47,541 to help you feel empowered to take this power back? 682 00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:48,291 Because that's okay. 683 00:34:48,291 --> 00:34:49,500 This is at the end of the day, 684 00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:53,458 this is feeling like a losing of grip, a losing of control. 685 00:34:53,750 --> 00:34:56,000 I'm I'm, you know, I'm going to fight, so I'm going to fight. 686 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,166 So I'm going to fight. 687 00:34:57,166 --> 00:34:59,916 But you're also saying I recognize that that's not healthy. 688 00:34:59,916 --> 00:35:02,916 So you're saying I like I want the change right, right. 689 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,500 Right, right. 690 00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:09,000 And okay, so there's a couple of things I don't have the full answers to these. 691 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,333 I know that we don't actually we're not going to we're not going to solve. 692 00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:12,958 We I, I was getting. 693 00:35:12,958 --> 00:35:15,208 I know you're joking but but 694 00:35:16,166 --> 00:35:17,125 food for thought. 695 00:35:17,125 --> 00:35:20,125 I've got a couple of things because I have been working with Brittany about it. 696 00:35:20,291 --> 00:35:23,291 One thing that we're trying, which seems to be 697 00:35:23,791 --> 00:35:26,666 kind of working really well, 698 00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:31,416 is that I have a whiteboard in my office, this whiteboard 699 00:35:31,416 --> 00:35:35,500 every week, every every but every check in that I have with Brittany. 700 00:35:35,625 --> 00:35:39,125 We go over four buckets, four buckets right now, 701 00:35:39,541 --> 00:35:43,041 and we've broken them down into roles. 702 00:35:45,291 --> 00:35:47,333 and so I've got, 703 00:35:47,333 --> 00:35:49,666 I've got media producer, 704 00:35:49,666 --> 00:35:53,750 I've got digital strategist, I've got captioner. 705 00:35:54,291 --> 00:35:59,208 And then because we know that it's a thing in my life 706 00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:02,291 and we don't want to punish me, 707 00:36:02,291 --> 00:36:05,291 I have optimizer. 708 00:36:05,333 --> 00:36:05,708 All right. 709 00:36:05,708 --> 00:36:07,625 So we're putting a positive spin on it. 710 00:36:07,625 --> 00:36:09,916 Yeah. 711 00:36:09,916 --> 00:36:11,000 Sometimes I look at that word 712 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,000 and I and I just see tweaker. 713 00:36:14,750 --> 00:36:16,750 But it's tweak it on good days. 714 00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:20,750 his twinkle 715 00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:23,666 so, so if I 716 00:36:23,666 --> 00:36:27,750 look at it and I see tweaker but but on good days I think optimizer 717 00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:30,916 and basically every week I'm allowed like 718 00:36:30,916 --> 00:36:33,916 three things for each bucket. 719 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:37,625 An optimizer, only one, only one, one thing. 720 00:36:37,625 --> 00:36:39,791 It has to be very specific. 721 00:36:39,791 --> 00:36:44,041 And I have to get it done in the same way that I have to get all 722 00:36:44,041 --> 00:36:45,041 those other things done. 723 00:36:45,041 --> 00:36:47,666 And it does. This doesn't live. 724 00:36:47,666 --> 00:36:51,958 This doesn't live in task management world or project manager world. 725 00:36:51,958 --> 00:36:54,958 It doesn't it I don't share it with you all, but 726 00:36:55,166 --> 00:36:58,458 I take it from work tasks and projects. 727 00:36:58,458 --> 00:37:00,500 I take it from captioning things. 728 00:37:00,500 --> 00:37:03,500 I take it from D and stuff. 729 00:37:04,958 --> 00:37:06,625 World Builder is in there as well, 730 00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:10,500 but she just kind of knows that I'm going to be able to handle that. 731 00:37:10,583 --> 00:37:14,166 And sometimes World Builder is also a part of media producer. 732 00:37:14,166 --> 00:37:15,000 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. 733 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,458 And hopefully more and more so just trying to keep it simple 734 00:37:18,625 --> 00:37:22,458 and trying to do that and then just the accountability. 735 00:37:22,666 --> 00:37:23,791 Yeah. So that's one way. 736 00:37:23,791 --> 00:37:27,416 That's one way I would suggest to everyone that possibly 737 00:37:27,833 --> 00:37:30,541 you if you're if you're going to do the same thing. 738 00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:31,791 And I know that a lot of you are, 739 00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:35,958 because I've had these conversations in our beautiful discord server, 740 00:37:37,083 --> 00:37:39,458 the pocket dimension, 741 00:37:39,458 --> 00:37:40,583 I've had these conversations. 742 00:37:40,583 --> 00:37:47,125 So I would suggest that you really find a pal and you could meet once a week. 743 00:37:47,916 --> 00:37:52,291 I mean, first, first hire Brittany Smith, my my ADHD coach, number one. 744 00:37:52,291 --> 00:37:52,750 Number two, 745 00:37:52,750 --> 00:37:54,833 if you can't just find your friend and say, 746 00:37:54,833 --> 00:37:56,875 these are the things I'm going to do today. 747 00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:57,625 Yeah. 748 00:37:57,625 --> 00:38:00,958 And you're going to get some of them done and you're going to fail 749 00:38:00,958 --> 00:38:02,875 and you're going to get distracted. 750 00:38:02,875 --> 00:38:06,000 But if you just put it in a place where you see it all the time, 751 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,000 you'll at least see it and go, 752 00:38:09,541 --> 00:38:11,875 yeah, yeah, these are important. 753 00:38:11,875 --> 00:38:14,458 This is the no bullshit list. 754 00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:16,708 These are the important things. 755 00:38:16,708 --> 00:38:19,166 So this is not what's a good example. 756 00:38:19,166 --> 00:38:22,166 So there is a captioner list, 757 00:38:22,583 --> 00:38:25,333 but currently there is not a build 758 00:38:25,333 --> 00:38:29,208 a wireless system for theater X okay. 759 00:38:30,500 --> 00:38:30,833 That's 760 00:38:30,833 --> 00:38:33,833 not on there right now I do want to do that. 761 00:38:33,958 --> 00:38:35,583 I've always wanted to do that. 762 00:38:35,583 --> 00:38:39,041 But it shouldn't be on there right now because I've got very specific things. 763 00:38:39,958 --> 00:38:43,583 optimizer could be completely redo 764 00:38:44,250 --> 00:38:46,750 the office. 765 00:38:46,750 --> 00:38:48,291 but I shouldn't do that. 766 00:38:48,291 --> 00:38:49,375 You know, I shouldn't. 767 00:38:49,375 --> 00:38:50,833 I shouldn't have that on the list right now. 768 00:38:50,833 --> 00:38:52,583 There is no need. Yeah. 769 00:38:52,583 --> 00:38:54,291 So that's the way it works. 770 00:38:54,291 --> 00:38:55,958 And we're trying it out. 771 00:38:55,958 --> 00:38:57,750 And so far it feels good. 772 00:38:57,750 --> 00:39:00,750 And I know that seeing these things 773 00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:04,583 every day when I come into the office and seeing them just in my face 774 00:39:04,916 --> 00:39:08,250 and because they change to right, like these are not like 775 00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:09,833 these are things I want to live by. 776 00:39:09,833 --> 00:39:15,041 These should be deleted next week and and it just kind of makes me say, okay. 777 00:39:15,041 --> 00:39:15,458 Yeah. 778 00:39:16,916 --> 00:39:17,916 in order to get these 779 00:39:17,916 --> 00:39:23,333 important things done, I gotta stop McPherson, stop. 780 00:39:23,333 --> 00:39:26,208 McPherson, start. McLovin 781 00:39:26,208 --> 00:39:29,208 and that could be on the list, too. 782 00:39:29,291 --> 00:39:30,833 These are just ideas, you know? 783 00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:33,125 I mean, Lindsay and I are going to Mexico the end of the year. 784 00:39:33,125 --> 00:39:36,083 I bet that Mexico will make this list. 785 00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:38,666 It's as if we get closer to that. Or. 786 00:39:38,666 --> 00:39:40,916 I mean, could be anything. It doesn't matter. It's I see it. 787 00:39:40,916 --> 00:39:43,458 It's vital. These are vital things. 788 00:39:43,458 --> 00:39:44,875 Boom, boom. 789 00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:46,916 I am trying to do the same. 790 00:39:46,916 --> 00:39:49,791 And world building. I'm trying to do the same. 791 00:39:49,791 --> 00:39:53,958 And thinking about prepping for games, 792 00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:56,958 trying to cut all the things that I know 793 00:39:57,208 --> 00:40:00,208 are just rabbit holes. 794 00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:04,375 Can I tell you the thing that you've said so far today that just fills me 795 00:40:04,375 --> 00:40:08,250 with utter glee, joy and delight, and you're going to laugh at so hard? 796 00:40:09,041 --> 00:40:10,083 I already know, but go ahead. 797 00:40:10,083 --> 00:40:11,291 What do you think it's going to be 798 00:40:12,458 --> 00:40:16,333 that I am enjoying using our audio? 799 00:40:16,333 --> 00:40:20,833 That is exactly is that you gave it the edge. Man. 800 00:40:20,833 --> 00:40:22,041 I've given it the edge. 801 00:40:22,041 --> 00:40:24,166 And I'll tell you why. 802 00:40:24,166 --> 00:40:25,500 I'll tell you why. I've given you the edge. 803 00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:30,416 It also frustrates me sometimes, but it does enough. 804 00:40:30,750 --> 00:40:33,583 Yes, it's like it. 805 00:40:33,583 --> 00:40:36,583 Can you handle foundry VTI? 806 00:40:37,166 --> 00:40:40,166 And what I mean by that is 807 00:40:40,208 --> 00:40:42,833 there is no question that foundry we can do 808 00:40:42,833 --> 00:40:46,166 every single thing that you want for a virtual game. 809 00:40:46,166 --> 00:40:47,000 There is no question. 810 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:50,416 It is gorgeous software. It's incomparable. 811 00:40:50,458 --> 00:40:54,208 It's just the top tivity top of the things is 812 00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:58,791 if you've got that ability and you've got a little bit of of nerd skills and you're 813 00:40:58,791 --> 00:41:03,416 not afraid to kind of really deep dive in there, like I have in the past, 814 00:41:04,583 --> 00:41:06,250 you can't beat it. 815 00:41:06,250 --> 00:41:09,583 But if you want to get down to the what is the story? 816 00:41:09,625 --> 00:41:10,791 Who are you playing with? 817 00:41:10,791 --> 00:41:14,125 How much fun can I have without juggling tools? 818 00:41:14,333 --> 00:41:17,291 And the reason I used foundry yesterday is because someone has. 819 00:41:17,291 --> 00:41:20,083 Someone did all of the hard work for me, right? 820 00:41:20,083 --> 00:41:22,333 They put it together in foundry and that's that's nice. 821 00:41:22,333 --> 00:41:24,291 And I, I do like that. 822 00:41:24,291 --> 00:41:26,041 I, I love them all. 823 00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:29,625 I love and counter plus and counter plus for me, 824 00:41:30,291 --> 00:41:33,416 was sort of my nerdy version of Albert Rodeo. 825 00:41:34,250 --> 00:41:38,666 but even that sometimes gets to be too fussy. 826 00:41:38,791 --> 00:41:44,291 Yeah, there's just too there's too many good people making it better. 827 00:41:44,541 --> 00:41:47,583 Sometimes I'll share because I and I love how this is coming together. 828 00:41:47,583 --> 00:41:53,125 I love how the like the Personal Knowledge Manager database 829 00:41:53,458 --> 00:42:00,291 is coming into a fold with the talk that is ADHd20 right there in a nutshell. 830 00:42:00,291 --> 00:42:03,625 Like there's so many threads we can pull between so many of the things that are 831 00:42:03,833 --> 00:42:07,125 both the way we wired and we are wired, and the things that we enjoy, 832 00:42:08,458 --> 00:42:09,500 and to 833 00:42:09,500 --> 00:42:11,375 kind of start to then close the loop on the question 834 00:42:11,375 --> 00:42:12,708 we asked at the beginning of this episode, 835 00:42:12,708 --> 00:42:15,291 which is like, what was your biggest moment? 836 00:42:15,291 --> 00:42:18,666 I think moments that I had recently 837 00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:23,791 in my life that I instantly applied into my game 838 00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:28,541 master practice is questioning when my anxiety spikes. 839 00:42:28,833 --> 00:42:31,500 Who told you that? 840 00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:33,666 And I think we've talked about this before here 841 00:42:33,666 --> 00:42:37,750 where like in my head, for the first year that I was a game master, 842 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:42,958 I thought that I had to cram action into every second of any session. 843 00:42:43,208 --> 00:42:48,125 I thought that I had to write four straight hours of a Steven Seagal movie. 844 00:42:48,125 --> 00:42:51,000 I don't know why. I just did. Didn't Steven Seagal felt good at the time? 845 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,000 That's a weird choice now. Anyways. 846 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,625 You know what I mean though? Like I thought I did. 847 00:42:55,625 --> 00:42:59,166 I thought that was the expectation being put on my shoulders as a game master. 848 00:42:59,166 --> 00:43:02,333 And then I learned the question, who told you that? 849 00:43:02,333 --> 00:43:06,208 And I realized not one single person that I have ever played, 850 00:43:06,208 --> 00:43:09,583 and especially not one single person I have ever DM for, has ever said. 851 00:43:09,583 --> 00:43:13,250 Alison, my expectation of you as a GM is it is your job 852 00:43:13,250 --> 00:43:16,500 and your job only to entertain me for four straight hours. 853 00:43:17,125 --> 00:43:21,416 And I realized that because I was planning for four straight hours, 854 00:43:21,541 --> 00:43:25,666 I was not giving myself or any of the players any room to explore. 855 00:43:25,666 --> 00:43:29,375 And that is why a lot of people play D 856 00:43:30,416 --> 00:43:31,166 right? 857 00:43:31,166 --> 00:43:35,083 Because I'm not a fuzzer and I don't enjoy high tech things 858 00:43:35,083 --> 00:43:37,500 nearly to the I love it when they work. 859 00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:38,916 I love it when you can take me by the hand 860 00:43:38,916 --> 00:43:41,916 and show me easily and then like I feel and look cool. 861 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,750 But when I don't get it, my brain shuts down and I was spending six. 862 00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:50,458 Okay, behind the DM screen peek forward. 863 00:43:50,458 --> 00:43:53,458 I'm running an eight level dagger heart one shot this weekend. 864 00:43:54,041 --> 00:43:57,041 Yes, I haven't even started prepping for it. 865 00:43:59,583 --> 00:44:02,708 but I'm no longer worried because I now know because of tools like owlbear 866 00:44:02,708 --> 00:44:06,250 rodeo that just allow me to like, just get to the point faster. 867 00:44:06,708 --> 00:44:08,541 it's not like I'm in for a couple of maps. 868 00:44:08,541 --> 00:44:10,041 I went and bought a couple of tokens, and then 869 00:44:10,041 --> 00:44:13,583 the whole reason that I think I like Dagger Heart so much, both as a player 870 00:44:13,833 --> 00:44:19,041 and as a GM, is because, like it is, the onus is as much on the players 871 00:44:19,041 --> 00:44:22,625 to create the world and inhabit it fully as it is on me to run it. 872 00:44:22,625 --> 00:44:27,000 So while I want there to be very, you know, flavor text that draws you in 873 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,791 and a really good hook and a really ferocious monster 874 00:44:29,791 --> 00:44:33,208 that you're going to have fun beating the shit out of. 875 00:44:33,208 --> 00:44:35,666 Like, I want all those things for you as a player. 876 00:44:35,666 --> 00:44:38,375 Like stripping it down 877 00:44:38,375 --> 00:44:43,833 back to its brass tacks and just like letting other people help you build it. 878 00:44:43,833 --> 00:44:48,291 And I think that is a little bit of, you know, metaphor 879 00:44:48,291 --> 00:44:52,791 to what you're going through with the notion of like, yes, 880 00:44:52,791 --> 00:44:53,708 who told you 881 00:44:53,708 --> 00:44:58,375 it has to be perfect, that it has to beat every other project management 882 00:44:58,375 --> 00:45:03,083 and in your defense, we did tell you that we wanted all of these things. 883 00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:06,416 Yeah. So now is the time to say, okay, 884 00:45:06,416 --> 00:45:09,416 but what's the owlbear rodeo version of notion? 885 00:45:09,458 --> 00:45:12,291 Yes. That just gets us the map that we need because 886 00:45:12,291 --> 00:45:16,208 we are all professionals who have brains, who know how things work like 887 00:45:17,208 --> 00:45:19,791 and. And so the fact that you have gotten that 888 00:45:19,791 --> 00:45:23,041 with owlbear rodeo and have because I had to drag you, 889 00:45:23,916 --> 00:45:24,291 I won't say 890 00:45:24,291 --> 00:45:27,333 kicking and screaming into owlbear rodeo, but there is a little resistance. 891 00:45:27,916 --> 00:45:30,333 Well, also it it grew up. 892 00:45:30,333 --> 00:45:31,916 Oh yeah it did. Yes. 893 00:45:31,916 --> 00:45:37,791 I was aware of owlbear from, from day one as well and it was not. 894 00:45:37,791 --> 00:45:39,291 Well, it's not even fun for me. 895 00:45:39,291 --> 00:45:42,375 Yes, but it is very, very solid. 896 00:45:42,375 --> 00:45:45,750 It's frustrating that I can't do beautiful, 897 00:45:46,791 --> 00:45:51,500 lighting effects when you token go through the hallways and, 898 00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:56,458 but I also don't have to sit there and add 899 00:45:57,500 --> 00:45:59,625 walls for 900 00:45:59,625 --> 00:46:00,708 an hour. 901 00:46:00,708 --> 00:46:02,000 And that's exactly it. 902 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000 Like with counter plus I have now, 903 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,375 I'm still spending honestly about the same amount of time prepping, 904 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:11,500 realizing my players don't give a shit about things like fog, right? 905 00:46:12,291 --> 00:46:13,708 I could just put a big gray box over it 906 00:46:13,708 --> 00:46:15,875 and then delete it when they need to walk into that room. 907 00:46:15,875 --> 00:46:18,791 Yeah, the bells and whistles are cool when you can do them seamlessly, 908 00:46:18,791 --> 00:46:20,375 and if that's how you want to spend all your time, 909 00:46:20,375 --> 00:46:23,708 and if we can get to a point where we can crowdfund a life for ourselves. 910 00:46:23,708 --> 00:46:27,333 We were paid millions a second just for breathing and building worlds. 911 00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:28,916 Cool. Yeah. 912 00:46:28,916 --> 00:46:30,708 But in the meantime, I would much rather 913 00:46:30,708 --> 00:46:34,583 give my players a satisfying story and like, fun NPCs. 914 00:46:34,916 --> 00:46:37,916 And I realize what I was doing is what I was using and, you know, tools I can. 915 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,416 I've never touched foundry. 916 00:46:39,416 --> 00:46:40,416 I probably never will. 917 00:46:40,416 --> 00:46:43,416 And again, until you kind of get through it. 918 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:44,916 No I yeah yeah. 919 00:46:44,916 --> 00:46:45,750 No you're limits right. 920 00:46:45,750 --> 00:46:46,541 But like with encounter 921 00:46:46,541 --> 00:46:47,125 plus I was spending 922 00:46:47,125 --> 00:46:50,291 so much time in the set up that I was writing these very thin stories 923 00:46:50,291 --> 00:46:53,125 and these very uninteresting NPCs and baddies. 924 00:46:53,125 --> 00:46:53,916 And now I feel like 925 00:46:53,916 --> 00:46:57,833 I can write juicier things because I've just reallocated my time back. 926 00:46:57,833 --> 00:47:00,833 So I want you to write juicier things and reallocate your time. 927 00:47:01,041 --> 00:47:03,916 I will, and you're right, it is all about priority. 928 00:47:03,916 --> 00:47:06,875 I will say one last thing for those listening going yeah, ba ba ba ba. 929 00:47:06,875 --> 00:47:10,500 But I, I'm imagining that your butt is the same as mine. 930 00:47:11,666 --> 00:47:12,541 Nice. No. 931 00:47:12,541 --> 00:47:13,666 I'm kidding. 932 00:47:13,666 --> 00:47:16,666 like the. 933 00:47:18,958 --> 00:47:21,291 It's so weird. 934 00:47:21,291 --> 00:47:23,625 I reference Steven Seagal. 935 00:47:23,625 --> 00:47:26,833 So you're just getting on my weird level again. 936 00:47:26,875 --> 00:47:28,458 You're saying he does have a nice ass? 937 00:47:28,458 --> 00:47:30,875 He does. 938 00:47:30,875 --> 00:47:32,041 So, yes. 939 00:47:32,041 --> 00:47:32,833 To what you just said. 940 00:47:32,833 --> 00:47:36,208 Your players do not care about fog of war, however 941 00:47:36,833 --> 00:47:39,208 I do. Yes. 942 00:47:39,208 --> 00:47:42,666 I love I love the lighting effects. 943 00:47:42,750 --> 00:47:45,500 I don't like the way owlbear does it as much. 944 00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:47,458 I want it to look cooler. 945 00:47:47,458 --> 00:47:49,583 I play, I've played video games all my life. 946 00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:51,291 I want it to look like that. 947 00:47:51,291 --> 00:47:54,291 But here's the thing that I can suggest. 948 00:47:54,291 --> 00:47:57,208 Find a way, find a time 949 00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:00,791 and definitely find the right application. 950 00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:04,000 Yeah. For that. 951 00:48:04,416 --> 00:48:08,125 And in my, you know, in my case, someday I would love to 952 00:48:09,250 --> 00:48:12,833 make videos on every single virtual tabletop out there. 953 00:48:12,875 --> 00:48:15,333 I really do want to do that. 954 00:48:15,333 --> 00:48:16,833 In my mind. 955 00:48:16,833 --> 00:48:20,041 I'm now taking all of the things that I love to learn about, 956 00:48:20,041 --> 00:48:22,083 and I'm going to put them in a bucket, and I'm going to say, 957 00:48:22,083 --> 00:48:25,083 I'm going to have a series on this, I'm going to talk about it. 958 00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:28,708 And that is a much better use of my time. 959 00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:32,291 As far as as far as that stuff goes. 960 00:48:32,333 --> 00:48:34,666 Because yes, you get into this thing 961 00:48:34,666 --> 00:48:38,333 where like, but I want this, this is what is part of the fun for me. 962 00:48:38,458 --> 00:48:40,750 But look, what is the bigger fun? 963 00:48:40,750 --> 00:48:44,500 The bigger fun is the fun that I have with all of my friends. 964 00:48:44,500 --> 00:48:47,875 And you're right, my friends don't give a damn. 965 00:48:48,166 --> 00:48:50,000 What is your priority of fun? 966 00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:50,875 You have to like. 967 00:48:50,875 --> 00:48:53,208 Yeah, with an ADHD brain, you have to 968 00:48:54,583 --> 00:48:55,250 qualify. 969 00:48:55,250 --> 00:48:57,625 Quantify it to that degree. 970 00:48:57,625 --> 00:49:00,791 Yes, you have to say yes. Yeah. Fun. 971 00:49:00,791 --> 00:49:03,416 But you're still going to have fun just playing with your friends. 972 00:49:03,416 --> 00:49:04,708 Matt. So. 973 00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:09,958 And you can eat apples and cake and have them too. 974 00:49:09,958 --> 00:49:12,750 Yeah, but choose your battles. 975 00:49:12,750 --> 00:49:13,916 Choose exactly. 976 00:49:13,916 --> 00:49:17,250 And that's like, I am not like, yes, I absolutely agree 977 00:49:17,250 --> 00:49:21,125 that the merit of Fog of War and a really cool, interactive, 978 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:23,750 so cool. 979 00:49:23,750 --> 00:49:26,208 There's no part of me that's trying to rain on that parade. 980 00:49:26,208 --> 00:49:30,250 And if we were playing in one game and this was just like your, like, 981 00:49:30,250 --> 00:49:33,500 side project and you were just over here on the side tinkering and making it great, 982 00:49:34,166 --> 00:49:35,625 and that's the thing that you did fine. 983 00:49:35,625 --> 00:49:39,083 But the truth of the matter is we're running a full time business. 984 00:49:39,416 --> 00:49:43,333 Yeah, we have all of the pocket dimension things going on. 985 00:49:43,541 --> 00:49:47,291 We are now, you know, you are now running a campaign for us as friends. 986 00:49:47,291 --> 00:49:49,500 You're running a campaign for Pocket Dimension. 987 00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:50,958 I'm running monthly one shots. 988 00:49:50,958 --> 00:49:52,583 You're also running monthly one shots. 989 00:49:52,583 --> 00:49:55,333 Like at some point we have to prioritize. 990 00:49:55,333 --> 00:49:57,916 Right. And that's all that this conversation is about. 991 00:49:57,916 --> 00:49:58,708 It is not. 992 00:49:58,708 --> 00:49:59,875 Yeah. Please. 993 00:49:59,875 --> 00:50:02,333 Gremlins of the internet do not walk away from this episode being like, well, 994 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:06,250 Alison says anybody who spends any time tinkering on any team sucks. 995 00:50:06,250 --> 00:50:07,166 Yeah. Yeah. 996 00:50:07,166 --> 00:50:08,875 If that soundbite gets out that I've been taken 997 00:50:08,875 --> 00:50:10,916 grossly out of context, that's not what I mean. 998 00:50:10,916 --> 00:50:11,458 And yes, 999 00:50:11,458 --> 00:50:15,125 I understand and appreciate the fact that you enjoy it as much as you do. 1000 00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:15,750 Yeah. 1001 00:50:15,750 --> 00:50:19,708 But in the grand scheme of things like when when we don't have time to do 1002 00:50:19,708 --> 00:50:22,708 everything we want, we just have to get better at saying, 1003 00:50:22,916 --> 00:50:26,250 okay, so what's the most important little amount of time right now? 1004 00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:29,458 And I would rather give a satisfying one shot 1005 00:50:29,458 --> 00:50:32,458 than have a super satisfying personally. 1006 00:50:32,791 --> 00:50:35,708 And if you disagree with that and would rather have a great, 1007 00:50:35,708 --> 00:50:37,000 that is your prerogative. 1008 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,791 And I will not talk you out. 1009 00:50:38,791 --> 00:50:40,833 Exactly, exactly. 1010 00:50:40,833 --> 00:50:43,750 Perfectly said, perfectly said. 1011 00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:46,250 I feel like we could also, on a meta level, 1012 00:50:46,250 --> 00:50:49,416 apply this to this very podcast. 1013 00:50:50,541 --> 00:50:52,541 as we have 1014 00:50:52,541 --> 00:50:55,541 not adhered to a schedule 1015 00:50:55,666 --> 00:50:58,541 that we have and in previous years. 1016 00:50:58,541 --> 00:50:59,458 Yeah. 1017 00:50:59,458 --> 00:51:02,833 And I'm not going to make us feel bad about it, but I will say this, that, 1018 00:51:04,041 --> 00:51:07,875 I'm very happy with the work that we've done this year. 1019 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,208 Season three. 1020 00:51:09,208 --> 00:51:11,500 This podcast is important to me. 1021 00:51:11,500 --> 00:51:13,875 These these talks are important to me. 1022 00:51:13,875 --> 00:51:16,166 It's important to me that we have them on a microphone. Yeah. 1023 00:51:16,166 --> 00:51:17,291 For some reason. Yeah. 1024 00:51:17,291 --> 00:51:21,375 So yeah I say while we haven't 1025 00:51:21,375 --> 00:51:25,708 fixed the issue, par for the course 20. 1026 00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:29,208 I would like to also say yes. 1027 00:51:29,208 --> 00:51:34,125 And let's, let's make sure that, that we in our many, 1028 00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:37,500 many, many, many things that we have to do now with the pocket dimension, 1029 00:51:37,916 --> 00:51:41,375 remember that, that this is easy and this is fun, okay. 1030 00:51:41,416 --> 00:51:43,791 And this is, this is this is important to. 1031 00:51:43,791 --> 00:51:46,541 Us and worth prioritizing, if you will. 1032 00:51:46,541 --> 00:51:49,208 Yeah. Yeah. 1033 00:51:49,208 --> 00:51:50,416 Prioritizing. 1034 00:51:50,416 --> 00:51:51,875 It'll never get easier. Yeah. 1035 00:51:51,875 --> 00:51:54,500 I mean, I won't say that it's easy for me now. 1036 00:51:54,500 --> 00:51:57,916 I will say that I am more skilled at it than I've ever been before. 1037 00:51:58,250 --> 00:52:00,791 I can even learn skill. You can learn like, I. 1038 00:52:00,791 --> 00:52:04,375 I can look back on times where I just was all over the place. 1039 00:52:04,958 --> 00:52:08,125 And I have realized in recent years that when you do that, 1040 00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:10,375 when you have 18 projects that you try and start 1041 00:52:10,375 --> 00:52:14,041 and work on all at once, the the progression is very, very slow. 1042 00:52:14,041 --> 00:52:15,166 It's it's everything. 1043 00:52:15,166 --> 00:52:17,458 To tie it again back to, to D and D. 1044 00:52:17,458 --> 00:52:20,875 It's what I realized with my chemical build when I multiclass, 1045 00:52:20,875 --> 00:52:24,958 I was going half as fast in my progression of levels as the rest of my brain, 1046 00:52:24,958 --> 00:52:26,500 so I constantly felt behind them. 1047 00:52:26,500 --> 00:52:29,000 I was like, wow, they're really skilled and I'm 1048 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,416 even though I was at the same level of them, 1049 00:52:31,416 --> 00:52:34,250 I was only half good at two things. 1050 00:52:34,250 --> 00:52:39,916 I also think that one of the moments that we have been speaking about this 1051 00:52:39,916 --> 00:52:44,000 episode for me, has been I will get more skilled, 1052 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,083 I will develop more tools, but 1053 00:52:47,083 --> 00:52:50,083 unfortunately that is broken in me. 1054 00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:52,750 The prioritization, it's truly broken. 1055 00:52:52,750 --> 00:52:54,166 It doesn't work. 1056 00:52:54,166 --> 00:52:57,541 And I think that if I remember that, 1057 00:52:58,291 --> 00:53:01,291 and I and I call upon my friends for help. 1058 00:53:01,708 --> 00:53:02,333 Exactly. 1059 00:53:02,333 --> 00:53:05,875 And I and I continue to make this podcast that I have things to talk about 1060 00:53:05,875 --> 00:53:09,250 so that I am aware of these moments. 1061 00:53:09,708 --> 00:53:12,916 But it doesn't mean that I can't get better. 1062 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,291 That's the difference. 1063 00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:15,750 It's not going to get better. 1064 00:53:15,750 --> 00:53:18,458 I will get better. And right. 1065 00:53:18,458 --> 00:53:21,250 What you just said then sparked something else in me. 1066 00:53:21,250 --> 00:53:23,000 We're just going to do this for like the next two weeks. 1067 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,000 The longest episode ever was like, yes, and to each other, 1068 00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:29,666 everything that the other one says is like, yeah, we piloted that. 1069 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:32,541 In your 1070 00:53:32,541 --> 00:53:35,916 defense, yes, there are like hard and soft skills 1071 00:53:35,916 --> 00:53:38,875 that like are never going to sit well and are just same with me. 1072 00:53:38,875 --> 00:53:40,625 You probably could sit with me for hours 1073 00:53:40,625 --> 00:53:44,500 a day and teach me how to code, you know, but like it would be a lot. And. 1074 00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:46,375 But nobody's asking me to write. 1075 00:53:46,375 --> 00:53:48,416 You're asking me to do the things that I'm good at, 1076 00:53:48,416 --> 00:53:50,791 while I'm asking you to do the things that you're good at. 1077 00:53:50,791 --> 00:53:51,833 Yeah, you are our warlock. 1078 00:53:51,833 --> 00:53:53,791 You are our artificer. 1079 00:53:53,791 --> 00:53:54,791 And, like. 1080 00:53:54,791 --> 00:53:59,000 So then stop trying to be the wizard, the bard, the fighter, the barbarian, 1081 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,750 you know, like and same thing for me. 1082 00:54:00,750 --> 00:54:05,791 Like, like getting into our classes, getting into our lanes, knowing our roles 1083 00:54:06,083 --> 00:54:10,166 and then knowing like, okay, so I'm doing warlock and artificer things, 1084 00:54:10,583 --> 00:54:14,125 that other thing over there that really feels like a sorcerer. 1085 00:54:14,333 --> 00:54:19,625 I need some wild magic in order to feel that I'm going to call my sorcerer in. 1086 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:20,125 Yeah. 1087 00:54:20,125 --> 00:54:23,000 That's why even with the one shots, when I kick them off, 1088 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,000 everybody's always interested in what everybody else is playing. 1089 00:54:26,250 --> 00:54:28,666 Because, yes, a party full of bards or a party 1090 00:54:28,666 --> 00:54:31,666 full of barbarians or druids can be funny and sticky. 1091 00:54:31,708 --> 00:54:35,041 But like for the most part, in most even one shots you want, 1092 00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:39,083 you know, the hand-to-hand combat specialists and the ranged specialists 1093 00:54:39,083 --> 00:54:43,208 and the healers and that's all any of us are being called to do. 1094 00:54:43,833 --> 00:54:44,333 That's it. 1095 00:54:45,708 --> 00:54:46,375 We fix everything. 1096 00:54:46,375 --> 00:54:47,833 That is in. 1097 00:54:47,833 --> 00:54:49,750 Yeah, 1098 00:54:49,750 --> 00:54:51,291 I think that's it. 1099 00:54:51,291 --> 00:54:54,291 So let's do it. 1100 00:54:56,458 --> 00:54:56,791 Yeah. 1101 00:54:56,791 --> 00:54:58,541 And let's do this more often. 1102 00:54:58,541 --> 00:54:58,750 Yeah. 1103 00:54:58,750 --> 00:55:02,250 Couple nerds turned on some mics, talked about their problems, 1104 00:55:02,250 --> 00:55:05,250 and discovered that a lot of other people had the exact same problems. 1105 00:55:05,458 --> 00:55:07,500 And I still have more problems. 1106 00:55:07,500 --> 00:55:09,958 So don't you worry. 1107 00:55:09,958 --> 00:55:13,083 Season to see if it's worth the problem set up for you guys. 1108 00:55:13,083 --> 00:55:15,541 So that is the ADHD promise. 1109 00:55:15,541 --> 00:55:18,916 We're going to keep repeating things, but as we've already 1110 00:55:18,916 --> 00:55:21,916 mentioned, we're not going to remember and y'all are not going to. 1111 00:55:21,958 --> 00:55:25,625 It's going to be really funny when we're old and have ADHD. 1112 00:55:25,625 --> 00:55:27,708 Like if it's like. 1113 00:55:27,708 --> 00:55:30,708 [laughs] I mean sink into senility, 1114 00:55:30,875 --> 00:55:33,458 just it's it's, it's going to be. 1115 00:55:33,458 --> 00:55:35,833 A like, buckle up, everybody. 1116 00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:38,416 Yah, Seriously. That is a weird thing. 1117 00:55:38,416 --> 00:55:42,000 Y’all think that I repeat myself now just wait until 84 year 1118 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,291 old Alison’s in the house. 1119 00:55:47,375 --> 00:55:50,375 Oh, man, I can't wait to know 84 year old. 1120 00:55:50,500 --> 00:55:51,875 I know she's going to be great. 1121 00:55:51,875 --> 00:55:54,875 I can't wait, you know, 84 and 94 year old Matt. 1122 00:55:55,041 --> 00:55:56,125 Yeah, exactly. 1123 00:55:56,125 --> 00:55:58,375 Died for you. Know. 1124 00:55:58,375 --> 00:56:00,375 He's going to be great. 1125 00:56:00,375 --> 00:56:02,708 I'm so excited. He's going to be. 1126 00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:06,500 Like, Lord of the dinner table, just holding court every night. 1127 00:56:07,083 --> 00:56:09,166 It's nice all on the stack. 1128 00:56:09,166 --> 00:56:09,750 Them? 1129 00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:12,666 Yeah, that's probably true I love it. 1130 00:56:12,666 --> 00:56:17,333 I all the time. 1131 00:56:17,333 --> 00:56:20,625 We train stations. 1132 00:56:22,708 --> 00:56:24,416 ADHd20 is a creation 1133 00:56:24,416 --> 00:56:28,791 from the pocket dimension, a multiverse where we explore neuro. 1134 00:56:28,791 --> 00:56:29,833 Spies, rolling. 1135 00:56:29,833 --> 00:56:32,666 Dice, and so much more. 1136 00:56:32,666 --> 00:56:34,583 Come chat with us in our discord server. 1137 00:56:34,583 --> 00:56:35,458 Open to all. 1138 00:56:35,458 --> 00:56:37,500 The join link is in our show notes. 1139 00:56:37,500 --> 00:56:39,291 Ready to level up your support? 1140 00:56:39,291 --> 00:56:43,583 Check out the Pocket Dimensions Patreon where you can get access to bonus content, 1141 00:56:43,708 --> 00:56:48,833 be the first to hear new episodes and even play RPGs with us and our friends. 1142 00:56:48,833 --> 00:56:52,625 The best way you can help us though, is just to share the gift of ADHD. 1143 00:56:52,625 --> 00:56:55,083 20 with the people that you think will like it. 1144 00:56:55,083 --> 00:56:57,041 We love that you're here. 1145 00:56:57,041 --> 00:56:59,791 Thank you for entering the pocket dimension.